"Whew." Gabrielle paused a moment, and took a sip from the waterskin she was carrying, mentally giving thanks for all the months spent walking all over half of Greece. Her pulse was up, and she knew she was breathing pretty hard.. but not as hard as Elaini was, she noted with some pride. But then.. Elaini didn’t have to keep up with Xena, either.
They were almost to the top of the path, though, just a little bit longer and they’d be up there. Taking and releasing a long breath, she started upward again, using her staff to pull herself up the steep path. Her body was used to this though.. not like when they first started off. Gods…it had taken forever until she’d finally stopped dropping in exhaustion at the end of every day.
And she remembered a day that had been a long, long one. Starting very early, when a wild storm had forced them to break camp before dawn, and travel ahead of it throughout the day. Up a mountain road that sloped steeper and steeper up into the heights.
She’d forced herself to keep up with the steadily pacing Xena, whose long stride never seemed to falter, just moved ahead with that easy, powerfully flexing motion that Gabrielle envied heartily. In the few month’s they’d been travelling together, she’d discovered some interesting things about her taciturn companion, like the fact that she could fall asleep standing up, if she had to. And the fact that she could go without food, and without sleeping for longer than Gabrielle thought a person really should be able to.
That she had an amazingly retentive memory, and unbelievable hearing, could catch fish barehanded, could jump right over Gabrielle’s head, and could ride and control Argo without the slightest use of her hands.
She was, Gabrielle sighed, also in the most amazing physical condition, which made keeping up with her a tough job for a village girl who’d spent most of her life so far not doing anything more strenuous than going to the river for water. Though, she’d been getting a little better lately – and Xena, to be fair, never chastised her for needing to stop and rest, just patiently stood and waited for her to catch her breath, and go on.
But today was bad, because they really couldn’t stop, and she pushed herself harder and harder, feeling the breath starting to come tight in her chest as darkness began to fall and they still weren’t near shelter. The mountain path they were on was very narrow, and rocky, and the low overhanging branches ruled out riding, even if she’d had the guts to ask. Which, with Xena’s uncertain temper, she wasn’t about to do.
Her legs had started cramping right around dark, but she kept her mouth shut, and pushed through it, glad the fading light hid the tears of pain that tricked down her cheeks, and she bit her lip hard to keep from making a sound until the spasms eased a little. Then a root caught her foot, and she stumbled forward, her legs unable to move fast enough to keep her from crashing to the ground.
The sharp shards of brittle stone cut her hands as she threw them out in front of her to break her fall, and she landed in a heap, cringing when she heard Argo’s steady footfalls stop, and Xena’s voice softly telling the horse to stay put. Then muffled crunching footsteps as Xena traveled back along the path to where she was.
"Sorry..it’s all right..I’ll be right.." Gabrielle was aware she was babbling.
"Gabrielle." Xena had said, with a sigh. "Hold still."
"No, no. really… it’s all right." She’d protested, getting to her knees, then standing up.
And pitching forward as her legs cramped, sending her right into Xena’s arms. It hurt so bad, she couldn’t keep a whimper from escaping, and her hands clenched helplessly on Xena’s thick, soft leathers.
"Easy." A voice had whispered in her ear, filling her senses. "Easy.." And she’d taken a shuddering breath, and then another, and tried to stand, this time unable to even make it halfway up. "Can’t." she’d gasped, closing her eyes. "Just.. leave me.." And she’d half expected her companion to do just that. But then she’d felt an arm circle her shoulders, and the sudden pressure of a second under her knees, and she was being lifted up, and cradled like a child.
"Put your arms around my neck." Came the quiet command, and she was too.. well, she’d just done what she was asked, to, that’s all. It should have been a nightmare, with the wind rising, and Xena’s dour gruffness riding around them in silence. But Gabrielle found a quiet port in that storm, which consisted of a sense of warm security, and the scent of metal and leather that invaded her senses, and made her body, against all better judgement, relax completely.
She’d never remembered falling asleep at all, only waking in the shelter of a darkness shadowed cave, with the friendly licking sounds of a healthy fire not far away. Her hands felt stiff, and she glanced down to see bandages covering them, under a blanket that had been tucked neatly around her as she lay on top of her own sleeping roll.
Gabrielle had blinked her eyes to clear them, and glanced around, spotting Xena leaning against the far wall, one knee upraised, and both muscular arms wrapped around it. Her chin rested on the knee, and she was gazing into the fire with a far off look in her eyes. The bard moved a little, and found herself caught in that hawk’s sharp gaze now diverted from the fire to herself.
"Uhm. Thanks." She called softly, glancing down at her hands, her bedroll.. herself. "I didn’t mean to cause you so much trouble."
Xena had stood up, dusted herself off, and walked over, crouching down and settling herself cross legged next to the bard’s sleeping roll. She reached out and firmly grasped Gabrielle’s jaw, and looked directly into her eyes. "Don’t you ever do that again." The voice was low, and sent shivers down her spine. "If you’re hurting, you tell me."
"But.. I knew we had to get to shelter, Xena. And I’m not… I mean..I try not be a baby." She’d objected gently. "I know I slow you down..I know..you’d be better off without me tagging along sometimes.."
The grip on her chin had moderated, then released, and settled on her shoulder instead. "It doesn’t’ matter." Xena had replied. "I don’t… you…" Uncharacteristically, Xena stopped, had seemed unsure of herself. "You tell me next time, OK?" She finally decided to say. And when her blue eyes raised, and fastened on Gabrielle’s, there had been a faint glimmer, a tiny window past that cold and frightening exterior.
Gabrielle had seen it, and recognized it for what it was, and grabbed the opportunity. She lifted her bandaged hand, and covered Xena’s with it, and let her eyes warm with the true affection she felt for the warrior. "Thanks. I will."
And the eyebrows had quirked a bit, and her lips had eased into that rare, uneven smile. She’d squeezed the bard’s shoulder. "Hungry?"
Gabrielle had rolled her eyes in knowing amusement. "Always." She sighed, a sort of running joke between them. She’d thought there was something wrong with her until Xena had taken a moment and explained to her how her body was adjusting to the constant need for energy to cope with their lifestyle. "Xena?"
"Yeah?" Gruff as always.
"Thanks for putting up with me." Daring, Gabrielle let her other hand fall on the tanned knee inches from her.
Xena shrugged. "That’s what friends are for." And this time, Gabrielle had gotten one of the real, flashing smiles that lit her eyes up.
So she responded with one of her own unrestrained, from the heart grins. "Guess I’m lucky to have you as one, then, huh?"
Gabrielle smiled as she pressed down on her staff, finally gaining the summit. She really had been getting stronger.. and the next time they’d bathed together, Xena had taken a little time out to show her the changes she hadn’t even noticed in her body. That… had been an interesting bath.. and she’d learned a lot about Xena, and more about herself than she had anticipated. Like how the quiet, clinical touch of Xena’s fingertips on her newly muscular waistline made her knees strangely weak. And how she suddenly noticed, for the first time, how the warm sunset made interesting shadows on the dips and hollows of her companion’s tanned body
She leaned on her staff, and waited for Elaini to make the last few steps up to the plateau, carefully leading Tody by the hand. "Wow." She said softly, surveying the ridge she stood on. It was fairly narrow, with a number of jagged outcroppings poking through the flat surface. In the dark granite cliff face was a small opening, perhaps a little wider than Elaini’s tall form.
"There it is." Elaini sighed, as she stopped next to the quiet bard. She pulled a torch from her kit, and with a swift meeting of flint, lit it. "Come on." She ducked inside the opening, Tody firmly hanging on to her tunic.
Gabrielle paused an instant, with a hand on the edge of the opening, and licked her lips, feeling a roiling unease in her guts. But it wasn’t overwhelming, and after a few deep breaths, she forced herself inside, reassured by the warm flicker of the torchlight just ahead of her. If it had been total darkness… ugh. But this isn’t so bad. She had a momentarily guilty thought of her partner, but put that firmly aside for the time being, and looked around.
The chamber was pretty bare, with a fairly high ceiling, and darkly sloping walls that contained vivid streaks of color in their gray depths. "Wow.. " She grinned, pulling a torch from her own pack and lighting it.
"Back here." Elaini called, pointing towards a dim opening in the rock. "This is just the outer room. The remains are in there."
It was very quiet in there, Gabrielle realized. Just the soft popping of the torches, and the gentle crunch of their footsteps against the sandy floor. She cast a last look at the sunlight pouring into the opening in the cliff face, then squared her shoulders and followed Elaini and Tody into the darkness of the inner chamber.
"You look really sharp." Jessan commented, as they relaxed under a large tree, after several hours of sparring. "I mean.. " He stretched legs and winced. "Ares knows, I’m not in any position to judge, but.. " He let the thought trail off, and glanced at her, letting his eyes travel down her reclined form.
Xena rolled her head to one side, and opened an eye to look at him. She shrugged, and closed the eye again. "I was in lousy shape the last time you saw me." She admitted quietly.
Jessan blinked. "Huh. Well. You really know how to make a guy feel bad, you know? " He laughed a little. "Believe me, I never would have guessed."
That got a lazy grin. Then she sighed, and opened her eyes to look at him again. " It’s the truth, though. I never really got it back after my last injury."
"The log?" Jessan’s voice was very quiet.
A nod in response.
"Well.. you know.. Xena.. that was really pretty amazing to recover from at all." He replied hesitantly. "Gabrielle… told me what happened."
Xena’s brows creased. "Next time, just ask me, OK? That’s hard on her." A tinge of anger colored her voice. "She had a bad enough time with that without having to relive it."
Jessan’s eyes shifted, and stared at the ground. "I’m.. but.. she was.. Xena, she offered to tell..me." He lifted his hands helplessly. "She seemed all right with it.."
"Yeah, I bet." Xena hoisted herself up on her elbows and glared at him. "It’s just like her." Her voice took on a colder tone. "You remember me waking her up from a dream, when you were travelling with us?"
Jessan nodded, and gave her a tentative smile.
"That’s what the dream was about." Came the serious reply. "And she still has them. So do me a favor, Ok? Don’t ask her."
Jessan laid a hand on her arm, and sighed. "I’m sorry." His golden eyes met hers. "You know I’d never intentionally hurt her."
The warrior laid back down, and laced her hands behind her head. "I know
that." She muttered. "At any rate, in answer to your question… it just got
worse after Cirron. " But her lips quirked. Sure..I could try to blame it on the
injury.. but…I know better….
She’d found herself losing track of things for no reason… forgetting what
she’d just done… daydreaming at odd times… and night after night, had been
unable to pry herself away from the campfire to go out for her solitary drills. It was just .. easier.. to sit quietly after dinner, stretched out on her side, and
listen to Gabrielle’s clear voice, as she practiced her stories, or read poems in
progress.. or.. whatever. Though she wasn’t sure it was easier on the bard, because
she lost count of the times Gabrielle would look up, across the dancing flames and meet
her gaze, and lose her train of thought completely. And then just laugh, and duck her head, and rub her temples until she could remember
where to start off again. Sometimes she just gave up, and crossed over to their bedrolls,
collapsing next to Xena, and leaning back against her. No longer needing permission, or an
excuse. They’d stare off into the fire, just enjoying the closeness, Xena’s fingers
tangling themselves absently in Gabrielle’s hair, and the bard draping a casual arm
over the warrior’s muscular thigh, tracing the taut lines just under the skin with
gentle precision. She was losing her edge, and she knew it. She could feel it in her body’s subtly
slowing responses, and in the effort it took to do things that had once come without a
second thought. But.. she just couldn’t summon up the sense of urgency she’d
needed to get herself going again. It was… swallowed up in this insidious giddy
warmth that had just poured over her without warning. She’d tried, really hard, to worry about it, too, but.. then those green eyes
would look up, and find hers, and.. Gods in Olympus.. she’d been in love before, but it had never been like this. This
was overwhelming - she’d watched all her defenses eroding away.. and had seen signs
that Gabrielle was, in a quiet and wondering way, responding to the attraction that was
pulling them together with almost irresistible force. The only thing that held her back was her dark conscience… and the knowledge that
Gabrielle surely, surely deserved better. But it was hard. So hard not to give in.
Especially when she looked down, and saw the incredulous little smile on Gabrielle’s
face when they snuggled close at night, and that friendly warmth closed over them. She’d been fighting a losing battle, and she knew it. Ephiny’s arrival in the
woods that night had only postponed the inevitable.
"Anyway.." Xena yawned. " When Gabrielle was with the Amazons, and I was at home, I finally had the time to rest up a little, and get some decent food for a change, and it seems to have made the difference." There..that’s the short version. She shrugged casually. "I feel.." Wonderful.. happy… giddy.. "Pretty good."
Jessan stretched out on his side, and rested his head on his hand. His eyes twinkled. "Well, you know…" He leaned closer and whispered into her ear. "This feeling makes me want to just jump around all over the place like a little kid."
Xena half turned her face, and gave him a look, struggling to control the grin that was inching its way into existence despite her best intent. Finally she gave up, and just relaxed, shaking her head and turning her face into the sun. "Yeah." She sighed, taking a deep, satisfied breath of cool air. "I gotta keep a lid on that."
The forest dweller let a fond smile trace his own features. Ah.. my friend. It gives me such peace to see that look on your face. He sighed inwardly. I wish… His eyes traced Xena’s angular features regretfully, as he heard Gabrielle’s gentle voice echoing that morning.
"No." She’d said, putting a hand on his chest. "Not this time, Jess. And I’m not gonna let her try, either."
"But.." He’d started to say, then stopped when her fingers clenched hard in his fur.
"Jessan." Green eyes bored up into his. "No. And don’t you dare say anything to her about it, either. If she thinks someone expects her to do something, she will, just to prove she can, and damn it all, I don’t want her going through that right now." Then her eyes had softened. "Thank you.. for asking. "
"All right." He’d said, quietly. "But, Gabrielle.. take this from one of her kind… she can’t live with this hanging over her."
The bard had let her head lean forward against his shoulder. "I know." She’d replied softly. "I’ll take care of her."
Odd. Jessan mused, to think of Xena needing to be taken care of. The warrior lay sprawled in the grass, arms folded, legs crossed, that thin edge of tension that was always a part of her present in the sleek lines of her body. A breath, a sound, a movement from him would trigger a potentially deadly reaction. She was obviously, evidently, unquestionably, aggressively able to take care of herself.
And yet…Gabrielle was right. She was also extremely competitive by nature…the residual effects of her being trapped must be gnawing at her, and Jessan debated with himself as to just how long the dark haired warrior was willing, or able, to set that aside. He wondered if Gabrielle was truly doing her a service by not pushing the issue… in fact..
"So. Tell me about this ceremony, Jessan." Came the low, resonant voice, floating above the softly waving grasses.
In fact, I think she reads minds. The forest dweller concluded ruefully. He rolled over onto his stomach, and propped himself up on his elbows. He described it to her, then hesitated. "Uh… I thought.. um…"
"Relax." Xena gave a quiet sigh. "I’ve had to deal with this since I was six, Jess." She turned her head and looked at him. "Just one of those things."
"Must be killing you." He responded with gentle sympathy.
She gave a casual shrug. "Nah, I’m fine." Then her eyes found his, and held them. "That invitation still open?"
He blinked. "Wh.. uh.. sure.. I mean… but.. Gabrielle said.."
A smile twitched just the corner of her mouth. "Yeah..I know. " She rubbed her eyes with the fingers of one hand. "I think I’d like to surprise her." And myself.
A furred and clawed hand settled on her shoulder. "All right. Do it if you can." Came the response. And I’m not going to bet against her. Nope. Not this pudgy fuzzball. "You up for some lunch?"
Xena considered the question. "Yeah, I am." She decided, then smothered a grin. I’d better eat.. I get yelled at otherwise… that should drive me crazy. A warm feeling washed over her. But it doesn’t, not with her. She stretched, lazily, then flipped up backward into a handstand, and pushed that into a forward flip that brought her standing neatly at Jessan’s side, dusting herself off with casual ease. Gods… I love doing that. She chuckled, catching the startled look on Jessan’s face. She offered him a hand. "Come on."
He took her arm, and let her pull him up. "I get tired just watching you sometimes, you know that?" He dusted his breeches off, and picked up his sheathed sword, yawning as they started to walk through the thick grass back towards the village.
"Huh. Gabrielle says the same thing. " Xena commented idly, reaching down and grabbing a stalk of grass, and pulling it up out of the ground. She examined the end thoughtfully, then started to chew it, enjoying the dusty tang. The sun felt good on her back, and she let the brisk wind blow her hair back out of her eyes with a distinct sense of contentment. I think.. for just a little while here, I’m gonna just stop worrying. There’s darkness ahead.. I can feel it. But right now.. right now there’s this warm sun, and this sweet air, and this… feeling. And I’m gonna enjoy it while I can. She shot Jessan a sideways look ‘Hey."
His head turned and he raised a golden eyebrow in inquiry. "Huh?"
She poked him hard. "Race you." Then she grabbed his sword out of his hands, and broke into a lazy jog, watching him out of the corner of her eye.
"Hey!" Jessan blurted. "Oh ..you got to be kidding.. Xena!!!!" He shook his head and bolted after her. "No fair!!!"
Gabrielle peered around the corner of the opening to the inner cavern, letting her eyes drift over the uneven walls, and the dusty floor with interest. These walls were of the same multi layered granite as the outer chambers – dark rock shot through with stripings of rust red, and dark blue, and tiny specks of gypsum scattered throughout.
Inside, the flickering torchlight exposed a dust layered set of artifacts, including what was apparently some kind of sleeping platform, graced by the half disintegrated outlines of two skeletons. "Ugh." The bard coughed, as Tody’s steps ahead of her raised a cloud of cloying dust. There was a faint breeze in the chamber, and, looking up at the wall, Gabrielle noticed two more passages leading down into the darkness. The breeze was coming from one of them, and she detected the faint hint of dampness on it that Xena had taught her meant running water. Underground stream? The air had a touch of coldness, and she shivered in reflex
Just then Tody barked, and she jumped.
"Sorry." He grinned, cocking his head towards the dark openings. "Echoes." He moved slowly across the floor towards the sounds, and settled himself at one of the openings. "Water, too." He called over his shoulder. "Hear it dripping."
Elaini crouched down next to the sleeping platform, and gently ran her fingers over a dusty piece of slate half buried under the rubble. "Here." She said, turning her head and looking at Gabrielle.
The bard crossed the few steps towards the slate, and knelt down next to it, holding her torch at an angle and blowing gently on the surface of the rock. Half formed letters came dimly to her eyes, and she waited patiently, until the shapes of the words started to mean something to her. "It’s old, all right." She murmured, sitting down cross-legged next to the spot, glad for the leggings and boots protecting her from the sharp shards of granite. The leggings had felt funny when she’d first put them on, but the warmth was very welcome, and Xena had insisted.
"I don’t see you wearing them." She’d said, putting her hands on her hips and giving Xena a look.
Got a raised eyebrow in return. "I’m not crawling around in some cold dark cave." Her partner had responded, touching her on the nose.
So she had worn them, and now was really glad. They were soft, and she kind of liked them, now that she’d gotten used to the feel. They were long, of course, being Xena’s, but they tucked down into her boots fine, and were only a little loose, being designed to wear close to the skin.
"This is.. a really old dialect but.." The bard sighed, her brow creasing. "it’s.. almost like it was written by someone who didn’t speak the language real well. The words are in the wrong order."
Elaini sniffed reflectively. "Well.. what does it say?"
Gabrielle concentrated on it. "I’ll try to move the words around so they make sense…its kind of a diary sort of thing."
The forest dweller snorted. "On a tablet???"
"They were out of things to write on." Gabrielle answered very quietly. "Except the stone." Taking a breath, she started to read, slowly, haltingly, but steadily.
We are at the cusp of the second moon, since our ship faltered along the shore, and cast we two up here adrift and alone. This cavern that has become our shelter closes in on Elevown, and makes her pace like a caged moorcat across these harsh floors.
I wish I had some answer for her pacings, for I do not, and can not – she is warrior bred, and alien to my eyes, and speaks to me only in harsh barks and angry curses. The snows tie down the passes, and even her stubborn strength is unequal to them. And she has tried, and failed, and come back here to this miserable little hole in the rock wild with fury. We cannot even have speech – for she is of the race of the northern sea lords, and I am Welsh to the core, and speak none of the northern speech, though I am well versed in my own language, and that of the tradesmen, and some small bit of this land’s that I picked up on the far coast.
She frightens me. I know she holds me in naught but ridicule, for I am but a villein, and unskilled at aught but some motherly traits that do us little good here in this wild, and uncouth land.
I write in the language of these parts, so that she might not know my thoughts, or see the fear I hold in my heart as she sits, sullen, and silent, in our dark retreat.
Elevown has managed, somehow, to find prey this evening, well into our third moon here, and we have warm things to eat for the first time in a fortnight. I am constantly cold, but say nothing, for she complains not, though I can see that hunger is taking it’s toll on her, and the bleak eyes she turns to the empty air tells me she knows that.
Knows that we two.. are coming closer to the Long Winter, and I pray, in silence, to our far off gods to hear us, and help us in this strange and foreign place.
Tonight, I am so cold I can barely but put my thoughts on the tablet, and my hand shakes before me, and cramps in the iciness. Finally, the soup is done, and I sit, in patience to wait for her to eat her fill before I dare approach the pot.
And.. Elevown fills the larger of the two makeshift bowls she has carved, and to my great disbelief, she leans over and hands it to me, those pale eyes expressionless as always,, and no words to go with it. I take the bowl, and she fills the other one, and goes to sit by the far wall, in solitude. It frightens me greatly – for I understand that Elevown knows, in her heart, that this cave will be our last resting place. And seeing her sunken eyes, and imagining my own, I know it for truth as well.
Gabrielle stopped reading, and glanced down, watching a few single tears wash the dust from the tablet. Tody and Elaini was deathly silent, and she could hear the faint sighing of the wind as it came inside the cavern opening, and the far off, sad, plinking of dripping water down the tunnels to her left.
"It’s so sad." Elaini finally broke the silence, shifting to find a better place for her body to relax. "Where were they from, do you know, Gabrielle?"
Silently, the bard shook her head. She took a long drink from her waterskin, then cleared her throat and kept reading.
Another tiny victory in a long string of defeats. We have food again tonight, but at what cost.. Elevown has had to fight off wolves for her kill, and her blood stains her garment and her eyes show her agony, though no sound of complaint passes her lips. She huddles in her corner, and I take the hard won meat and do my best with it.
My heart clenches – I bring Elevown her bowl, and with a look of quiet regret, she pulls aside her furs, and I see the hole the wolf has made in her. A grimace as she tries to smile at me, and pushes the bowl back towards my hands. Her meaning is clear. She has no use for food any longer.
I grieve. This strange, cold person has somehow entered my heart, and I do not wish to see her end her days here in this horrible place. I get bandages, clothes, hot water, and demand with gestures that she allow me to do what little I can for those terrible wounds.
At first, she pushes me off. Then, too tired, or maybe she had just given up, she lets me have my way and closes her eyes to my work. Her body has been hard used, and bears terrible scars that mark her pale skin. Paler than mine own, as her hair is the fairness of the Northlands, and her eyes the gray of a storm swept sky. She has the northerner’s height, and a seaman’s build, with strong arms, and the wide, rounded shoulders of a fighter.
I tend her wounds, and, at the end, when I have done what little I could to ease her, her eyes open, and find mine own, and she makes a small smile at me. I smile the best that I can back, and she lifts a hand and brushes my cheek.
Oh.. my mother… I have heard stories told of one’s losing of the heart.. Aye, I never thought to feel that in my own self. But this day I do, and it goes with out so much as a by your leave to this rude and uncouth foreigner with so little effort, and so little warning that I feel myself lightheaded.
Gabrielle stopped again, and leaned back., folding her hands in her lap, and just waiting for the emotions to subside. Too close to home, huh Gabrielle? I know.. what this writer felt.
"Gabrielle?" Came Elaini’s gentle voice. "Stop.. please. You look upset."
Tody crawled away from the tunnel, and snuggled up against her side quietly, wrapping one short arm around her waist. "You.. can See this." He said in a low voice.
"Yeah." The bard admitted. "I can." She took a deep breath, and shook her head. "In another time, another place…" She rubbed her temples lightly. "Ok.. well, let’s finish this up and see if there’s any mention of those scrolls, huh?"
Elaini put a hand on her arm. "No.. no further, my sister."
Gabrielle shook her head. "It’s all right. Really." She turned her attention back to the tablets.
She sleeps but fitfully this night, and her wounds pain her much, for I can see the stark whiteness of her knuckles as she clenches her hands. I do what I can, but ill humors ravage her with their sickly heat, and she knows not who she is, or who I am, but speaks softly, achingly in her harsh language words that mean nothing to me. I let her grip my hand, and try to trickle water down her lips when reason takes her, but I know I do little good.
Towards the dawn, she rests quietly for a time, and I look down to see those gray eyes gazing at me with a look of.. I can’t tell what. Sadness, perhaps. Regret, I ken that as well. She squeezes my hand with hers, though where that strength comes from I know not, and so gently, touches mine fingers to her lips before her eyes go closed once again.
I am lost. I have never felt a force so fierce, a need so intense as I do this pale, cold morning. I pray to the mother, to pass us by. I pray for her to not take this strange gift from me, but I know, from the paleness of her face, and the lightness of her breath, my prayers will go unanswered.
I feel mine self shattering, and I know, how well do I, that this cold winter will be both our ends, but I shudder to think mine will be last, and alone, bereft of even her silent presence. My heart cries out in agony, and I feel that I, and not she, have taken a mortal wound the pain is so great. What is this terrible thing? I hurt, just looking at her face. I pray she opens her eyes just one more time, I do not wish to bid her farewell just yet.
Now the end comes close, I feel the cold hands of the Taker hovering beyond her, and I do what all I can, which is gather her in my arms, and give her my life’s heat and what little strength I possess to add to that which fades in her. I pray, one last prayer to the mother to take me quickly, for I wish not to know the empty solitude of this forsaken place.
I close mine eyes, as her are, and commend myself to the Long Sleep, and hope the mother takes us gently into her arms.
I am Ardwyn. She is Elevown of the North.
"I can’t read the rest." Gabrielle sighed, scrubbing the tears off her face with the back of a dusty hand.
"Shhh.. It’s all right." Elaini soothed her, patting her leg in anxious comfort. "Later.’
Gabrielle looked up, pushing the hair from her eyes with a tired expression. "No..it’s not that I don’t want to, I can’t. It’s in a different language.. a different hand."
The forest dweller scooted around beside her, and peered down. "Damn.. it is." She shot Gabrielle a look. "You don’t recognize the language? "
A shake of her head. "No."
"Maybe.. whoever found them..?" Elaini’s voice trailed off.
"Maybe." Gabrielle agreed softly. "No mention of any scrolls." She looked around. "But my guess is that they’d store them in a box, and probably wedged it somewhere under all this stuff. "
"OK.." Elaini glanced at her. "Is there.. can I get you something.. water.. are you.. I tell you what." She took a breath. "Let’s go outside and have some lunch, OK? " She stood up, and dusted herself off. "Then we can look for them."
"Yeah." The bard let her fingers trail along the surface of the tablet, and sighed.. Ardwyn. The syllables sounded very strange in her mind, and her tongue stumbled over them. She gave the silent Tody a pat. "You OK?"
He cocked his head and twitched his ears at her. "That’s so sad." He sighed. "They never even got a chance to…"
We came so close to that, Xena.. do you know I get down and send thanks to the gods every day for that second chance? "Yeah… sometimes you don’t realize how lucky you are until you hear a story like that, huh?:
Tody gave her a soft smile, and hugged her hard.
Gabrielle carefully picked a sunny spot to settle herself in, leaning back against the warmed rocks, and wrapping her arms around her knees. She absently nibbled at the pocket sandwich she'd unwrapped from her pack, and let her eyes wander over the tall spruce tree tops that lifted up from the slopes approaching her position.
What that must have felt like. Her mind mused, trading the sun drenched scene before her for one covered in silent, drifting snow, making her shiver in reflex. Gods. I've faced death.. we both have.. but to know it was coming like that.. Then she stopped chewing, and stared out over the mountain for a long moment. I wonder if that was what Xena felt, that whole day when she was trapped. Oh gods... how did she cope with that? What would I have done? Would I have fought as hard, as long as she did..? Or would I have done what Ardwyn did and just.. give up?
A memory came unbidden to her, of those last few seconds, hanging over a river of lava while two gods fought over her head. Of a voice saying.. 'Don't take your eyes off me."
But she had. She'd felt the top rope collapse, and seen two struggling forms plunge past her headed towards the unnerving heat she felt rising past her legs.
And her body had just given out. She'd let go of the rope with a whispered "Sorry." To herself.. to Xena, standing on the ridge above her. She had been so tired.. and having to deal with Callisto had drained her more than she'd believed possible. She had closed her eyes, and just let herself fall, with one last wistful thought of Xena. And heard a rush of air, and the sudden, shocking pull as her arms were grabbed and her body halted in it's descent And that same voice, calm, almost relaxed. "I got you." Xena hadn't given up, even if she had.. no, her sometimes frustrating, sometimes aggravating, always stubborn best friend had dove off a cliff, head first with no thought to her own safety to make a one in a thousand chance at grabbing her in mid air.
Of course, it worked.
But what if it hadn't? What would Xena have done? For a moment, when she had looked up, and their eyes had met, she'd seen a strange peacefulness in her companion's expression, as though Xena hadn't worried about the outcome at all. One way or the other.. and Gabrielle had a sudden feeling that both of them would have climbed up that rope..
Or neither of them would have.
A warm hand dropped on to her shoulder, and she looked up, startled. "Uh.. sorry. Hi."
Elaini sat down next to her, and studied her face. "You going to finish that, or just hold it for a while?"
"Sorry." Gabrielle laughed sheepishly, and took a large bite, chewing steadily. "Just thinking." She swallowed, then glanced at her sandwich. "Mmm." She examined it, then chuckled softly. Xena had tossed her the packet casually as she was leaving, making some smart comment about bards and food that Gabrielle had conveniently ignored. All the stuff I like. Gods.. just when I think she pays no attention to things like that, she surprises me. And for some reason, just that little offhand thoughtfulness snuggled down inside her and warmed her all over. She looked up at Elaini and smiled, for real this time. "So.. what makes you think there are any scrolls here, Elaini?"
The forest dweller relaxed a little, and settled back against the wall. "Well, it's a legend of ours, of course." She sighed. "We have one of the scrolls.. kept in a box in Wennid's store room. It was damaged in water.. but there are still parts that tell how to set fractures, and sew up wounds, and things like that. The scroll references others... and the story has it that there's a box of them somewhere up here."
"Where did it come from?" The bard asked, taking another huge bite and chewing with almost sensual enjoyment. Huh..didn't realize I was this hungry.
Elani shrugged. "A hunting party found it.. in a small lean to one day. " She gave Gabrielle's lunch packet a poke, and grinned. "Hey..how do you luck out? All I got was bread and cheese."
The bard winked. "Gotta pick the right packer." She studied the additional goodies, and plucked a raspberry out, handing it to Elaini. "Mine's about the best there is."
"Thanks." The healer smirked with amusement. "Must be nice."
Gabrielle popped a sweet nut ball into her mouth, and nodded. "Uh huh." She shared her berries with Elaini and Tody, who had wandered over and was playing with a collection of pebbles he'd gathered.
"These are good." Elaini commented, turning her face towards the sun and yawning a little. "Didn't see any in the kitchen, though... Would have snagged them."
Gabrielle recalled Xena slipping into their cot while she was still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, and the warrior had tucked a small bundle away near her saddlebags while she pulled on her practice gear. "No.. I think the great berry hunter struck again." She leaned back, folding her hands over her stomach, and sighed contentedly, taking a moment to enjoy the feel of the sun on her face, counteracting the cold breeze. Then she rolled her head towards Elaini, and opened one eye. "Guess we'd better start looking again, huh?"
The healer groaned. "Yeah... Ares, that hike took it out of me." She complained good naturedly, watching Gabrielle stand and stretch. "I'm not used to this stuff like you are."
The bard smiled quietly to herself, and reached down a hand. "Here...need a hand up?"
The forest dweller snorted. "I'm not in *that* bad shape." She hoisted herself to her feet, and dusted her overalls off. She took Tody's hand, and started to walk towards the opening. "Though.. " She chuckled ruefully. "With Jess..I think we're going to just reinforce each other's lazy tendencies.. I could be in a lot of trouble, here." She lit her torch, and guided Tody ahead of her. "Not a problem for you, I know."
Mmmm.... Gabrielle mused to herself. "Well, actually, I get accused of being a bad influence all the time." She chuckled, as they ducked back into the outer cavern. "And I'll admit to an active campaign to get her to relax a little." A rueful grin "It ain't easy, though."
Elaini planted the torch firmly in a makeshift wall sconce, and lit a second, glancing over her shoulder at Gabrielle. "She seems.. really intense."
"That's one word for it." The bard muttered under her breath, as she lit her own torch. "Ok, let's go." She led the way, this time, into the inner cavern, and settled her torch snugly between two rocks. Half the inner cavern had been the victim of a slide of some kind, because a pile of slate chips covered a good portion of the artifacts, and Gabrielle realized they were in for some digging. "We might as well get started."
They set up a relay system, with Gabrielle and Elaini digging gingerly through the sharp slate chips, and piling them into a sack. Tody would then sturdily grab hold of the sack, and pull it into the outer chamber, emptying it in an out of the way corner. The sun was making it's way westward before they finally uncovered a large slab of stone, which rocked gently when Gabrielle rested her foot against it. "Looks like this moves." The bard commented, kneeling down and examining the surface.
"Yeah." Elaini sighed, wiping a tired hand across her brow, and running her fingers through her furry nape. She watched as the bard set her fingers under the sharp rock, and lifted up slightly, causing her arm muscles to stand out in relief against her dust darkened skin. .
"Ugh." She released the stone, and rested her forearms on her knees. "No way. Xena might be able to lift that, but not me."
Elaini's eyebrows lifted, and she tested the rock against her own strength. "Not in this lifetime, my friend. " She laughed. "We'll need a few strong backs to move that one." She glanced around. "And it's almost dark. We'd better put this off until tomorrow, when I can bring up some help."
Gabrielle tapped her fingers lightly on the surface, and nodded. "Sounds good to me." She studied her hands. "I need a bath." This with a grimace, which she shared with the healer. "Glad the return trip's downhill."
They both grinned, and Tody laughed, scooping up his pebble collection and stuffing it in a small sack he was carrying. "This was cool!" He grinned. "Can I come with you tomorrow?"
Elaini straightened up with a heartfelt groan, and stretched out her back. "If you promise to stay out of the way when they're moving around stuff here, OK?"
"OK." He readily agreed, standing up, and shaking himself vigorously.
Gabrielle let them precede her, and turned at the entrance to the inner cavern, to look back inside at the remains, and the tablets. The last bit of that story tickled her curiosity, and she briefly debated trying to copy it down for later study. Have time for that tomorrow, I guess. She decided, and ducked into the outer cavern, where Elaini and Tody were packing up their gear.
She joined them, hoisting her kit, and followed them out onto the plateau, where the setting sun was staining the dark granite a bloody shade of crimson.
"Brrrr." The bard shivered, as a cold draft sidled up the mountain path and brushed her hair back. She sighed, and opened her pack, digging the waterskin out. "Wish I'd..." And smiled in gentle reflex as her hand brushed the familiar texture of her lighter cloak, folded tightly, and packed with neat economy at the bottom of the bag. Oh.. you get a nice, big hug for that one, partner. I thought we'd be back well before the sun went down.. She shook the fabric out, and settled it around her shoulders with a chuckle, and started down the steep path.
"If she has twins, I want one." Jessan murmured into Xena's ear, as they stood watching a wary Argo as she flirted with a very interested Eris
Xena raised an eyebrow at him. "You do, huh?" She let her eyes travel over Jessan's black stallion thoughtfully. "He tend to throw doubles?"
Jessan smirked. "Uh huh."
The warrior leaned against the corral fence, and sniffed speculatively. "What about you?"
Got a vivid blush back that colored his entire muzzle brick red, causing Xena to burst into laughter, and startling Ares, who was standing up on his hind legs, front paws hooked over the lower corral railing.
"Roo?" He turned his dark head towards the sound. "Grr."
Xena dropped a hand down and scratched his ears. "Sorry about that.. I couldn't resist." She chuckled, resting her chin on the arm draped over the railing.
Jessan sighed. "Sure.. sure.." He rubbed his face, willing the heat to fade. "Xena, I gotta ask you one question." He waited.
She gave him a look. "And that is...???"
"Oh. Right.. um... " His eyes dropped down. "Ares???"
Xena sighed, and reached down, lifting the wolf up and cradling him in her arms, causing the wolf to squirm around happily until he could reach her face with his tongue, and started kissing her. "Stop that." She growled.
He paused, then blinked his yellow eyes.
Then licked the tip of her nose and wagged his tail.
Her turn to blush, and his to laugh. Then she shifted the wolf, and pointed his muzzle towards Jessan. "Look." She pointed. " Dark hair, light eyes... " She grabbed the puppy's bristling beard. "Dark beard.. he looks just like him."
Jessan stepped back, and put his hands on his hips, and cocked his head at her. "NO way."
She raised her eyebrow and grinned in silence.
He swallowed audibly. "You really do know him, don't you." It wasn't a question.
"Yeah." She replied, softly. "Better than I want to."
A small silence fell between them. "Anyway.." Xena finally said, setting the wolf down. "When I found him... I wasn't.. " She stopped, and turned towards the corral, watching Argo slid her neck over Eris’ with a small smile. "I wasn't in the best frame of mind." She rested her chin on her fist, laid over the upper railing. "Just seemed to fit, that's all."
Jessan stepped closer, and laid a tentative hand on her arm. "Xena.. are you.. all right with this? I know.. it's not something you really.. wanted."
The warrior stayed quiet for a long time, eyes watching the two horses in their courtship. She let one finger trace the rough wood, then glanced up at him. "Yeah." And a quiet nod. "I fought it for so damn long.. when I finally let it start happening, it was like drowning.. " She paused, and her lips quirked. "In a good way." She added. "But I'm a pretty good swimmer." That in a drawl. "I'll be fine." Another pause. "But thanks for asking."
He nodded briskly. "Right. Um.. well, it looks like they’re doing just fine." He jerked his rounded jaw at the two horses, who were nuzzling each other.
Xena regarded her mare, and chuckled deep in her throat. "Yep." The sunset burnished Argo’s coat to a fiery hue, and brought out faint highlights in Eris’ dark hide. Idly her gaze scanned the horizon, then stopped when she got to the head of the path out from the village.
Movement, and now Jessan’s eyes caught it as well. They watched for a moment, then glanced at each other and grinned. "Guess we’d better go see if they found anything." The warrior commented.
"Yeah." Jessan agreed amiably.
The walk down gave Gabrielle time to think about the tablets. Way too much time, and she found herself letting the tale take her mind in directions she really didn’t need it to go. C’mon.. let’s not play that what if game, OK? Your story had a different ending, Gabrielle.
They reached the end of the path, and moved into the village proper, and Gabrielle shaded her eyes from the setting sun as she spotted two tall figures moving towards them out of it.
"Roo!!!" Ares yodeled, bounding through the grass and leaping up against her legs.
"Hey Ares." The bard smiled, ruffling his fur, then looking up. And, moved by a instinct she was too tired to fight, she walked right into Xena’s startled arms and buried her face in the warrior’s tunic, deliberately letting herself feel their connection, warm and solid and real as the cold wind, and the scent of pine around them.
"Hey there… " Xena said softly into her ear. "What’s wrong?" No answer from Gabrielle, who just held on tighter. "All right.. I’ve got you. Take it easy." Her blue eyes swept up and found Elaini’s with a cold, sharp look. "What happened?"
The forest dweller shook her head. "It .. I don’t know, Xena. There was a story on those tablets we told you about.. she read it.. it was.. really sad, but.. " she shrugged helplessly. "I don’t know." Her brow creased in concern as she regarded the silent bard.
Gabrielle lifted her head, and cleared her throat a little. "I’m fine." She looked at her worried partner. "Sorry.. I didn’t mean to… " She loosened her grip, and straightened the fabric of Xena’s tunic. "I wasn’t thinking. Really, I’m fine. Just a little chilled, that’s all."
Blue eyes locked intently with her green ones. A quirked eyebrow that told her she wasn’t being believed. She returned it with a quietly plaintive look, that meant later. Xena’s brows drew together for a long moment, before she relented, and let out a sigh. "Lestan’s invited us for dinner. You up for that?" Her direct stare let the bard know it was more than OK to say no.
"Sure." She smiled, giving her partner a pat. "I need to wash up though. I have granite dust in the worst places."
Xena nodded reluctantly. "All right. See you over there. " That to Jessan and Elaini, who were standing by quietly. Jessan nodded, and slipped his arm around Elaini’s with a little smile.
They watched the two humans walk towards their cot, then Jessan turned and studied his lifemate with serious eyes. "What the heck happened?"
Elaini gave him a bewildered look. "Really, Jess.. I have no idea. Yeah, the story was sad.. it was about two strangers who were shipwrecked and ended up wintering the cave. It was a rough winter, and they didn’t make it. I don’t.. she seemed ok when we left the cave.. I don’t understand."
Jessan shook his head. "We’ll find out later, I expect. " He bumped her lightly with his shoulder. "Come on.. mom’s doing some of those little meat pies.. wanna get some before dinner?"
Elaini struggled with her concionce and lost. "Sure." She grinned, tucking his arm in hers, and starting the short stroll to his parent’s house.
Gabrielle heard the door shut quietly behind her, as she made her way to the soft couch and collapsed on it. Dinner had been… pretty nice, actually. She’d been able to get away with only three stories before Xena intervened, laying a hand on her shoulder, and quietly telling the assembled forest dwellers she needed to rest. But she’d been distracted all night, and she knew her partner could tell, saw it in the studied intensity of her gaze, and the protective arm she’d kept draped across Gabrielle’s wool clad shoulders.
The bard let her head tip back and rest on the couch, staring up at the ceiling while listening to Xena stir the fire, and clatter around with whatever it was the warrior was doing. Then she felt a cool hand on her forehead, and she opened her eyes. "Hi."
Xena perched on the arm of the couch, and put two fingers under Gabrielle’s chin, tilting her face up to make eye contact. "Ready to tell me what’s going on with you?"
Blunt as always, Gabrielle thought, that’s my Xena. And she stopped and thought about that statement, and smiled. "Long day… "
Xena wasn’t buying that, and the sharply arched eyebrow emphasized the fact.
"I know… I know. " The bard laughed. "I’m lying. No.. really it was. And.. that damn story.." She closed her eyes, and rubbed her temples with one hand. "Just.. touched a nerve, I guess. " She finished quietly. She felt Xena’s hands run lightly across her neck, and heard the warrior sigh, then the fabric shifted as she got up, and walked back to the fire.
Gabrielle gazed at the ceiling timbers in weary tension. "It’s not like.. I mean, I’m used to sad stories, Xena..gods know we see enough of them, right?"
"Mmm." The warrior agreed, kneeling by the fire and working at something.
"Right… so.. I don’t know.. it’s.. I guess it’s just so sad to think about those poor people, alone there in the cold…" She shook her head. "And then not to be able to read the ending.. augh.. torture."
Xena returned, and settled on the other side of the couch, holding a cup out to the bard. "Here." She settled back with her own mug. "That’s got something to relax you a little in it."
Gabrielle sniffed suspiciously, then quirked a grin. "I get it. You figure if you dump enough mint and honey into anything, I’ll drink it, right?"
This got her a full out dazzling grin in return, that sent warm relaxing tendrils through her faster than any infusion could. But she sipped the tea anyway, since it was warm, and Xena was exactly right – stick enough mint and honey into anything and she’d probably drink it right down. "Thank you." Her eyes lifted to Xena’s. "And thank you for lunch, and for remembering to pack my cloak, when I didn’t."
"Hey.. ex warlords are useful for something, right? We’re big on details." Xena deadpanned, taking a sip of her own tea, and going serious. "Now.. tell me about this story, hmm?"
Gabrielle hesitated. "I don’t…"
Xena patted her chest, and cocked her head. "C’mere."
The bard obeyed, snuggling up against Xena’s right side, and feeling the solid weight of the warrior’s arm close over her.
"Better?" Came the soft question.
Gabrielle nodded, and took a breath. "Yeah.. now I think I can go with it."
And so she did, telling the story out slowly, and trying to remember the details of the oddly scripted language. It was all right now… the story seemed much more distant, now that she was in the security of Xena’s arms and telling it. She felt her body relaxing, a combination of whatever the Hades Xena had put in that cup, and the gentle ministrations of the warrior’s hands which were easing the tension out of her muscles. Eventually, she let her head drop onto Xena’s chest, and closed her eyes, feeling the waves of sleep wash over her.
"Feel better now?" The voice burred low into her hearing, and she nodded sleepily.
"Wanna know the ending.. Xe.. " She mumbled. "Damn language."
Xena raised an eyebrow, both at the diminutive, which Gabrielle never, ever used for her, and the language insult. Better check what I put in that cup. She mused, a touch startled.
"What if." Gabrielle whispered.
The warrior gently stroked her hair, and felt Gabrielle settled more firmly around her. "What if what, love?" she murmured.
The bard’s breathing started to level out. "Could have been them." She mumbled, then Xena felt her body lose it’s tension.
Which the warrior picked up in triple measure. Damn… as she caught that last whisper. No wonder it struck a nerve. Yeah, we could have, couldn’t we. Oh, Gabrielle. She pressed her cheek against the bard’s hair, and let out a long breath.
And her attention turned to the tablets, which had peaked her own curiosity. The Celts.. had a place in her heart… and this lone Welsh and her Viking companion fired Xena’s interest more than she’d let on to the bard.
A runic language , the bard said? No.. Gabrielle wouldn’t know it.. it came from far over the sea, and didn’t often grace the scrolls of this land. It would be very foreign to the bard.. but not to a certain ex warlord, who, as part of her hard gotten learning, knew the seafaring languages, in both spoken and written forms. She could, she mused, have probably communicated with both of them. A bit.
I could read it. The idea flirted across her consciousness. I could.. and.. NO, Xena.. damn it, wasn’t that spectacle you made of yourself enough yesterday?
But.. I could. I could be in and out.. and she’s sleeping.. the idea drilled insistently at her. I can’t. No.. it’s cold, it’s dark, for Ares’s sake, you idiot, cut this out!
Her eyes fastened on Gabrielle’s peacefully sleeping face, the curve of her cheek gently reflecting the firelight. She wants to know what that said… it really means something to her.
I could, Xena considered. Wait until tomorrow, and just have her copy it down and bring it here. But the thought of the tablets, and the secrets up there… what if I could just.. it would just take a minute, once I was in there.
Once I was in there. That’s the real story right? Xena stroked the soft hair with the back of her fingers. You won’t even feel it, love.. you’re down so deep. Will you forgive me? I have to try. I promise you.. I’ll just go in, and read that part, and be back here in no time.. and when you wake up, I’ll tell you what it said..
The bard nestled closer, and her hands closed gently on Xena’s tunic, and the warrior spent a long moment just holding her close, and whispering softly to her. Then she stood, and crossed to the round bed, kneeling and laying her partner down, and drawing the covers around her protectively. She reached out and smoothed the hair out of Gabrielle’s eyes with infinite tenderness, then leaned over and touched her lips to the bard’s forehead. "Be right back." She promised.
She walked across the room, picking up her heavy cloak from where it was draped over the couch and settled it over her shoulders, then let her eyes rest once more on the sleeping form for quiet moment before slipping out the door and into the cold, dark night.