This Xena: Warrior Princess© story takes place after The Gift of Gab. It is the fifth story in the Xenaverse according to Enginerd. While not absolutely necessary, it is encouraged that you read the previous stories to better understand this Xenaverse and the attempted development of the characters.
Disclaimers:
1. Content: Contains some. This story also contains scenes involving:
A. Love between two women
B. Arguing, mild cursing, fighting, death threats, and other uncomfortable family situations
C. Amazons
2. Length: Long
- Enginerd (October 1997)
CHAPTER 1 - DISTRACTIONS
"Gabrielle..." Xena uttered slowly, her voice dripping with warning as she stopped her sword exercises in mid-stroke. Her eyes shifted to meet the source of her distraction, the bard sitting on the side of the grassy hill. "Yes Xena?" Gabrielle responded invitingly, hopeful greens meeting piercing blues. As the warrior's eyes narrowed, the bard realized her subtle attempts to change warrior's mind would not be successful this beautiful day. The disappointed bard sighed as she broke her unsuccessful gaze and dipped her quill in ink. Exhaling loudly, the determined warrior resumed her sword practice. So much for a romantic afternoon, the uninspired bard sighed, staring at the blank parchment. She was not in the mood to write at this particular moment. And unfortunately, Xena was not in the mood to change her mind about practicing. 'The warrior and her conditions,' the bard thought with annoyance. It was almost a week ago when Gabrielle was introduced to the warrior's conditions. Conditions like uninterrupted practice time. Actually, that condition had not been so bad to live with. Especially since the warrior had yet to get through her practice without an interruption, the bard grinned with satisfaction. That was, until now. The bard frowned, throwing an annoyed glance at the practicing warrior. The warrior and her conditions, the bard sighed again, considering the first one she was introduced to which she disliked the most. Unfortunately, it was the one condition that the warrior was most adamant about. Sure, Gabrielle understood the reasons it was not wise for any public display of affection. How could she not? The morning after their first night together, Xena was determined to go through each and every reason why it was a bad idea - until the bard acknowledged each point and agreed with the wisdom of that condition. Totally unfair, the bard reflected with exasperation, knowing that she would have agreed to paint her face blue if the Warrior Princess asked that particular morning. Yet, she did agree to accept their 'public' relationship. And unfortunately, most of the time the past week had been 'in public' either helping villagers or fighting thugs, the bard sighed. But they were not in public now, the bard noted with annoyance. "And she chooses to be stubborn about her sword practice," the bard muttered under her breath as her eyebrows furrowed. Suddenly inspired, she scratched the beginnings of a poem on her parchment. While deftly wielding her sword through the air, Xena stole a glance at the bard, relieved to find Gabrielle finally focusing on writing. Xena was determined to practice and not allow herself to be interrupted by the bard - like every other time she had tried to practice the past week. She needed to practice. Xena stole another glance between strokes and found the bard had stopped writing and was now staring at her parchment. Deep in thought, the warrior concluded, noting her look of concentration and how she gently traced the quill under her chin...over that extremely sensitive spot, one of many the warrior discovered during their first incredib.... "NO!" Xena silently ordered her distracting thoughts away, determined to focus on her sword practice. She had to maintain her fighting skills, she quickly reminded herself as she parried an invisible attack. She let one of those thugs get just too damn close to Gabrielle, she remembered bitterly, thrusting her sword through the invisible attacker's gut and twisting it with a healthy grunt. Thankfully, the cut on the bard's forearm was healing fine and the stitches could come out soon, Xena considered, glancing over to the bard, who was writing again. Practice was necessary for a warrior. If only her ever-romantic bard could see that, Xena grunted as she thrust her sword against another invisible enemy. Staring at her small poem, the Gabrielle sighed, unable to find an appropriate phrase that also rhymed with 'stubbornness.' Well, that wasn't exactly true. She actually did think of a phrase, but thought better of using it. Seeking more appropriate words, the temporarily blocked bard took in a deep breath and looked to the rich blue sky for inspiration. A single billowy cloud sailed across the ocean of air, reminding Gabrielle of an incredibly huge pillow. She watched the cloud continue its slow trek across the sky, granting the sun freedom from its temporary captivity and allowing its rays to once again burst forth and gently warm the bard's skin. A warmth like that her heart felt whenever near the Warrior Princess, the bard mused. Closing her eyes, a contented smile creped over her face as she enjoyed the warmth she received, from both the sun and the warrior. Between a thrust and a block, the warrior caught another glimpse of the bard. Xena paused as she watched the relaxed beauty bask in the sun. She noted how the sunlight reflected off of the strawberry blond strands, making them seem to glow. A grin crossed the warrior's face as she wondered what thoughts brought that smile to the bard's face, hoping selfishly... "NO! Not again!" Xena mentally scolded herself for being so easily distracted. She thrust her sword with renewed determination. She had to practice! Hearing the warrior's more energetic grunting and sword-whooshing through the air, Gabrielle's eyes opened. Wonderful, she just got her second wind, the bard silently moaned as her eyes rolled. At this rate, she'll be too exhausted for anything except sleep this evening, the bard concluded, growing more depressed. 'Torturous' popped into the bard's head. "Hmmmm," she considered thoughtfully as she looked down with empathy at the lonely words on her parchment. Still without the right words, the bard lifted her eyes from her incomplete poem. Well, at least the warrior had good taste in practice fields, the bard silently admitted as she scanned the area appreciatively. The foliage framing the warrior's chosen field was densely packed with colourful wild flowers bursting from the lush greenery. Amazing how perfectly nature's untamed beauty complemented the untamed beauty of the Warrior Princess, the bard mused. However, the warrior's grunts didn't exactly return the compliment to nature's soothing sounds of rustling leaves and bird song, the bard noted, softly chuckling at the contrast. A contrast that was minor compared to the contrast embodied in the woman practicing before her, she smiled with great appreciation. The bard pondered with amazement how this woman could bark out such harsh, fear-inducing sounds to her enemies yet privately, to her bard, utter the most tender and loving sound that Gabrielle had ever heard - when the warrior spoke the bard's name. "GABRIELLE!" Xena snapped, interrupting the bard's appreciation and amazement. "What?!?" Gabrielle quickly blurted with irritation. "STOP it!" The warrior ordered. "Stop WHAT?!?" She asked with annoyance. "Writing?!" The bard asked, holding up her quill, not sure what the warrior's problem was. "Staring!" Gabrielle sighed with great exasperation, considering she was being unfairly blamed for something she wasn't even trying to do. She was ONLY looking for the right words to rhyme with stubbornness and so what if she happen to end up looking at the warrior? It IS hard to miss Xena, standing right in front of her, all by herself, in the middle of an empty field, she considered with annoyance. It wasn't like she was TRYING to distract the warrior from her practice...this time. She gave THAT up as hopeless, the bard noted with frustration. Frustration which at some point turned into hope as it slowly dawned on her that perhaps she gave up too easily. "Xena, I've watched you practice thousands of times before, what's the problem now?" Gabrielle asked with an innocent shrug. "Watching and staring are two... different... things." Xena crisply responded. "How...exactly?" The bard responded with a twinkle in her eye and challenge in her voice. Gabrielle smiled, considering if she kept the warrior talking, the better her chances were to convince her there were much more enjoyable things they could be doing. "Gabrielle," Xena spoke with familiar warning, knowing better than to engage in a discussion with the bard. "What!?!" Gabrielle blurted with exasperation, realizing her chances just got worse again. Judging the warrior's annoyance level to be rather high, she concluded she would be better off in a tactical retreat. "Oh ok, ok," she begrudgingly responded to the warrior's stare. "I'll let you practice - alone." Gabrielle sighed heavily. As the disgruntled bard gathered her things, a light breeze blew her strawberry blond hair into the her face, further annoying her. Xena patiently watched as the bard guided the unwanted hair from her face with her hands. Hands that wielded her staff with surprising strength, yet could sooth the warrior's troubled soul with her tender touch. Her touch, the warrior slowly grinned, her incredible..... "Practice! PRACTICE!" Xena silently reminding herself, snapping out of her dangerous musings. "I'll find another hill." Gabrielle muttered as she rolled up her unfinished poem. She stared at the rolled up parchment a moment and the word 'Idiotic' popped into her head, though it didn't rhyme with stubbornness. But 'ridiculous' was a definite possibility, the bard considered as she shoved her poem in her bag. "A better hill. Yeah, a much better hill where I'll be able to finish my poem with no distracting sword exercises going on around me." Gabrielle muttered as she stood. "I have to practice," Xena stated flatly. "I know, I know...practice away." Gabrielle lifted her hand in defeat. "I'll be just over there," Gabrielle informed her, pointing down the trail with her staff. "In case you ...need...anything," Gabrielle added suggestively. Receiving a brisk nod from Xena, the disappointed bard sighed and departed, leaving her warrior with her beloved sword. Finally able to continue, the Warrior Princess positioned the sword over her head and exhaled heavily. I have to practice, Xena reminded herself as she spun around and sliced the air in an intricate pattern.
Having no trouble finding a suitable area, Gabrielle claimed a spot on the side of another hill. Now if only finding words was as easy as finding this area, she thought, plopping herself and her gear down. Taking a deep breath, she sought inspiration from the scenery before her. The flora and fauna was just as beautiful as the flora and fauna around her warrior's practice field, she observed. Yet, for some reason, the scenery was not nearly as breath taking. Perhaps the absence of a certain practicing Warrior Princess had something to do with that, the bard considered. A certain, STUBBORN Warrior Princess, who was taking her sweet time getting here, Gabrielle grumbled. Inspiration hitting her once again, she quickly unpacked her parchment and quill. Promptly writing down the previously elusive words before the inspiration fled, the poem was finally finished.
There once was a warrior princess
who chose her sword, not her bard to caress
her mind was made up
but was soon out of luck
when the bard taught her true stubbornness
Gabrielle read it over thoughtfully. "Just perfect, I'm not only frustrated - I'm writing bad poetry!" She blurted, shaking her head with an amused smile which faded when she glanced back to the still empty trail. She dipped her quill in ink and captured another wave of inspiration on fresh parchment.
There once was a woman from Amphipolis ....
As she finished her second poetic attempt, she heard the unmistakable sound of someone jogging towards her. A sound that brought a huge grin to the bard's face. "You sure took long enough!" Gabrielle announced with a relieved chuckle as she turned towards the jogger. "Well it took longer than I expected. My HORSE pulled up lame in the last town!" Meleager blurted between gasps for air. "And how in Tartarus did you know I was coming?" Quickly recovering from disappointment and surprise, the bard bolted towards him. "Meleager!" She called out happily, giving him a big hug. "I was actually expecting Xena...but It's wonderful to see you!" The bard informed him with a warm smile and another hug. "I'm glad to see you too Gabrielle," Meleager responded with an embarrassed laugh. After the affectionate bard pulled back, he looked around. "Where IS Xena?" "Practicing...over there," Gabrielle pointed to the trail. "If you want to talk to her, you might just want to wait a bit. She's not in the mood...to be interrupted." Gabrielle explained flatly. "Uh, actually I need to talk to you Gabrielle." Meleager admitted, his face suddenly grave. Panic washed over Gabrielle. "Why? What's wrong?!?" Gabrielle blurted. "Is Sara all right? Lila? Meleager, they're both ok aren't they? Why are you here? What's going on ?!?" "Whoa Gabrielle," he responded, holding up his hands to stop her barrage of questions. "They're fine. Well, they're not terribly happy, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are not fine...although...." Meleager muttered. "MELEAGER!" The impatient bard snapped.
"I think I'll go stretch my legs," Meleager muttered awkwardly, leaving camp. Gabrielle smiled at her future brother-in-law, despite his pleading that Xena come with them. She really couldn't blame him, allies were always important to have. But little did he realize it wouldn't make a difference with her mother, the bard noted as her smile faded. Her smile completely vanished, when she eyed the silent warrior who sat down against a tree, staring at the fire. Xena had barely said a word all day and didn't look too talkative now, the bard noted. But she had to try one more time for both their sakes, Gabrielle considered. "Xena, I know you said you would help Meleager but there's really no need... for...you...." Drawing the warrior's unconvinced eyes away from the fire, Gabrielle realized that line of argument was not going over well and switched tactics. "Uh...you know, this would be the perfect time to visit Amphipolis," Gabrielle suggested enthusiastically as Xena's eyes returned to the fire. "I'm sure your mother and brother would love to...." "You don't want me there," Xena interrupted in an even tone, finally breaking her silence. "Why?" Her eyes shifted back to the bard for an answer. Why. A fair and simple enough question, Gabrielle considered as she sighed and looked into the fire. "Xena, I've been through my cousin Huestis' Traditional Wedding and...well...let's just say it got pretty ugly," Gabrielle revealed with a weak smile, shaking her head at the memories. "I wouldn't even want to put Joxer through that," Gabrielle added, with a slight chuckle that lifted Xena's spirit. "I can't ask you to endure my family...my mother...for a whole month," Gabrielle added sincerely. "You don't have to ask Gabrielle," Xena responded warmly. "And... I'm not afraid," Xena added with a sly grin that faded when the bard shift uncomfortably. "But you are," Xena spoke with hurt which she quickly buried. "You're worried about what she'll think...about us," Xena stated with a cold edge in her voice. "WHAT?!?" Gabrielle snapped in amazement. "Xena, if you'll remember, I'M not the one who's worried about what other's think," The bard blurted, surprising the Warrior Princess. "You know..." Meleager announced as he entered the camp. "...the caves with those Furry Weggets are really not THAT far out of our way." Meleager eyed the women hopefully. Noting with great discomfort that no one was answering him, he coughed. The bard sat staring at the fire with an intense, angry gaze. The Warrior Princess' eyes were fixed on the bard. Gods, I'd rather be in Walsas right now, he thought to himself. Ignore it and it will go away, he considered. Good plan. "Ok, ok...PLEASE help me?" He asked, sticking to his plan. "Please?" He added for good measure. Xena sighed, removing her gaze from the bard and finally looked at him. "What caves and what's a Furry Wegget?" Xena asked. "One of the many wondrous events in store for the lucky couple and their FORTUNATE family and friends," Gabrielle relayed in a grand, bardly voice. "Now I've been thinking..." Meleager relayed to the bard, who eyed him. "Careful Meleager, you know what happened the last time you did that," Gabrielle cautioned him. "Hear me out..." Meleager urged her diplomatically, as he sat down. "With your help, we'll get all the damn...uh the items in no time...the egg, and the orchid and...." "What orchid?" Xena interrupted. "The Red Orchid of Love," Gabrielle informed her with a heavy sigh as she retrieved her bed roll and plopped on the ground. Meleager pulled his sword out and started to sharpen it. "At least I know what a damn orchid looks like," he muttered drawing a sharp stare from the bard. "Yes, but do you know where to get the Red Orchid of Love?" Gabrielle countered as she unrolled her bedding and sat down. "There are orchids by the lake on the way to Walsas, I'm sure I've seen a red one there," Meleager noted with a shrug. "Ah...but if it were only so easy." Gabrielle sighed. Xena watched the two, wondering why they were making such a big deal out of getting a few things for the wedding. "And don't even think of asking for my help with the last part." Gabrielle warned him. "But," Meleager blurted with concern. "I won't, don't ask," Gabrielle interrupted, firm in her convictions. "BUT," Meleager blurted again. "No." "But why NOT?" Meleager was upset, almost panicking. "I'm not a bard, how am I supposed to come up with a wedding poem for Sarah?" Still unclear about many of the things involving this "Traditional" wedding, the Wegget, the furry egg, the orchid...but the poem was something Xena finally understood the significance of. Xena immediately felt empathy for Meleager and his difficult task. "The words are supposed to be from YOUR heart Meleager, not mine," Gabrielle informed him. "Don't worry you have time. Inspiration can come at the most unexpected times," Gabrielle added with a warm smile, attempting to help ease his concerns. The smile didn't help. "Gods, a poem," Meleager blurted weakly looking sick. He turned towards Xena with his Meleager the Desperate look. "Don't look at me," Xena warned, remembering the last time he used that desperate look and got her to help him when he was on uncertain ground with Sarah. He practically begged her to help him with his attempts at a romantic interlude with Sarah at her balcony. No, he begged, she recalled. What transpired could only be summed up as possibly the worst romantic interlude ever planned or executed. No, the worst, she recalled. Meleager's attempts to woo Sarah were pathetic at best, even when the Warrior Princess gave him perfectly good lines to use, which he blew of course. The only thing Meleager succeeded in that night was to take them to the wrong balcony and embarrass them in front of the last person she wanted to learn of her involvement with the romantic fiasco - Gabrielle. Meleager the Desperate ignored the Warrior Princess initial rebuff and continued to look to her for help. Xena was going to repeat her refusal when she heard the bard chuckle. "Come on Meleager, you're not THAT desperate," Gabrielle relayed with a smirk, laying down and pulling her covers up. "What's that supposed to mean?" Xena responded with irritation. "Nothing." Gabrielle muffled a giggle, shifting under her blanket. "You don't think I could write a poem?" Xena asked, annoyed. Gabrielle sighed. She sat up and eyed the Proud Princess. "Xena, I'm sure if you REALLY wanted to, you could. But Meleager has to do this himself. They should be HIS words...even if they are really bad," Gabrielle explained to the Warrior Princess. "HEY!" Meleager blurted. "They might not be REALLY bad...just BAD!" He added defensively. Oh gods... a poem, he thought to himself. Gabrielle sighed heavily at the two warriors, and laid back down. "Pleasant dreams my warriors," Gabrielle muttered as she shut her eyes. As the warrior's settled in for the evening, Meleager noted Xena rolling out her bedding on the other side of the fire. Well, it WAS safer for them if they spread out around the fire in case of an ambush, he considered. But for some reason, he didn't think she wasn't sleeping way over there for safety reasons. Xena seemed irritated about something. When she caught him watching her, she gave him a cold stare. Yep, none of my business, he concluded, smiling awkwardly and laid back on his bedroll with a sigh and shut his eyes. Meleager's nagging thoughts kept him from sleep. "A poem," he thought as he rolled over. "A poem," he thought and sighed. That was one task he had thought would be a piece of cake with Gabrielle's help. He rolled over to his other side. Now he didn't have that piece of cake...not even a lousy crumb. "A damn poem," he thought again, rolling back to his other side. He couldn't take it anymore. His eyes popped wide open. Abruptly sitting up, he looked at the bard. "Gabrielle?" He asked tentatively, eyeing the prone form. "NO!"
"Lila! I'm so glad I've found you!"