SATURDAY NIGHT IN OLD GREECE
Copyright Zealander1@aol.com Darkbard Fantasies August 27, 1996
The characters of Xena and Gabrielle are the property of MCA/Universal. The story is all mine.
I know I'm supposed to be writing the conclusion to 'The Letting Go' but damn if I didn't hear the theme to the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' during the 12 o'clock time-warp on Q102 while I was out driving around and this just popped into my head. <g> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xena and Gab on that same tired old path. Argo's pulling up the rear.
G - "I'm bored." X - "Hunh?" G - "I'm bored, Xena. Let's do something fun tonight!" X - "What? No nice chat by the fire?" (devilish grin on her face) Gab glares at Xena. X - "What? So I still have some pent up anxiety over this whole Callisto thing. It helps to vent it out." G - "Yeah, that's not the only thing you vent. Is sex the only thing on your brain these days?" X - "No." G - "Then name something else." X - "Uh..." G - "See. I told you so." X - "I'm thi..." G - "You got any dinars?" X - "WHAT? You're gonna make me pay for *it*?" G - "No, silly." (she turns towards X, lovingly puts her arm on Xena's, then turns and pinches her butt) "But I bet you would!!" X - "No way! I don't have to pay for anything - certainly not sex - why I have legions of fans that would gladly pay *ME* for the opportunity." G -"You're deluded." X - "I am *not*. I'm just being honest. You like that in a woman, right?" G - "Oh yeah, I love it - but that's hardly one of *your* most valued traits." X - "So I'm complicated. Come figure me out." (X grabs G and tries to pull her into the forest.) G - "Xena, quit. I'm not in the mood." X - "Why not?" G - "It's the middle of the day - look around you." X - "You mean we're only allowed to *do it* at night?" G - "Yes." X - "Why's that?" G - "Hey, you're the 'secretive warrior princess' - you figure it out." X - "Oh." G - "I want to go to the movies." X - "Hunh?" (X still pondering that last thought) G - "Don't you ever pay attention to me? I *said* 'I want to go to the movies'. You remember: popcorn, a giant Pepsi, Dolby-surround sound, comfy seats." X - "No, no,no,no,no, no. The last time we tried to *do it* at the movies people stared at us." G - "Gee, I have a novel idea - let's *watch* the movie this time." X - "That's sounds boring." G - "But they're having a midnight showing of 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'. I wanna go." X - "Isn't that the one with that stupid dance in it?" G - "No, Xena. And that was called, "the macarana" - we learned it in that grubby little tavern in Corinth last week." X - "Oh... I didn't like that." G - "Duh! I should say so - You can't dance; 2 left feet." X - "HEY! I dance fine." G - "Yeah, right - in your dreams. Don't you remember Rocky Horror? I guess it does have that little dance that goes "a shake to the left - then a step to the right." X - "Uh..." <Xena ponders once again> G - "You knocked down that guy next to you. Remember? You thought he was *coming on* to you 'cause he was dressed like a woman. You threw him in the air, kicked him, and then stabbed him with your sword when he hit the ground. Does any of this ring a bell? We got kicked out for Goddess sake!" X - "Oh...yeah..." (a slow smile crosses Xena's lips) "Whadda ya want to go back there for - surely they won't let us back in?" G - "It's at a different theatre this time." X - "Oh... Can I be FrankNFurter this time? He was such a wuss. I want to portray him as a real man!" (Xena stands tall) G - "Forget it... <Gab is suddenly sad> we don't have any rice or a squirt gun. And you looked ridiculous in that paper hat. Besides, your acting abilities leave something to be desired." X - "HEY! At least I studied to be an actress. What'd you ever do - pretend you were a caterpillar in your school play?" G - "Now, cut that out. And I thought you studied opera or mined gold somewhere?" X - "I have *many* skills. G - "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bite me." X - "I do - I was in that lesbian movie 'Peach' - perfect training for a warrior; I even kissed a guy." G - "I'm so proud of you." (sarcastically, of course) X - "You should be. That was hard work." G - "They should've named the movie -"Kiwi. Tales of a Fruit Down Under." X - "That was *NOT* nice! See if I sleep with you again." G - "Ooh - scared of you." (imitates Xena's little hand thingy) "Besides as soon as it gets dark you'll be all over me again." X - "Will not." G - "Yeah, you will." X - "You'll see." G - "I'll see your head between my legs." X - "Sooo... You're saying you don't like that?" G - "That's not what I'm saying." X - "Then change the subject!" G - "Wanna go to the movies?" X - "You buying?" G - "Maybe." (Xena leans in to peak down Gabrielle's breast for hidden dinars) X - "I wanna see something action-adventure. It's been kinda boring around here lately - nothing but reruns." G - "Me, too. I hear there's a really great movie playing at the Bijou." X - "Yeah? What is it?" G - "Darkman II. I hear the girl in it's *real* cute. X - "But isn't the girl a hooker or slut or something?" G - "HEY! She's *reformed*" X - (grabs Gab around the waist) "Let me show you 'reformed'." (she kisses Gabrielle passionately on the lips) G - "Uh. Maybe we *could* just stay in tonight." X - "Yeah, let's do that..."
Argo knickers softly, while the sun sets in the west...........
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