The characters of Xena: Warrior
Princess, Gabrielle, and Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated
series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles, and back-story are the
sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright
infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. The story is written only
for fun, and no profit is being made. All other characters such as Tarren, the story idea
and the story itself are the sole property of the author. The story cannot be sold or used
for profit in any way. The story itself as well as the character created by the author may
NOT be duplicated or archived without the author’s permission. All works remain the
copyright of the original author. These may not be republished without the authors
consent. This story is a continuation of my first stories called SHE HAS MY EYES, ON THE ROAD
AGAIN, NALA’S GIFTS, HOME SWEET HOME, and Little
Thief of Hearts You really MUST read those stories first. Otherwise you will be
lost as to who some of the characters I have created are. This story contains some
violence, no subtext, and the use or reference of corporal punishment. I will be putting
that statement in all of the Tarren series whether it exists or not in that particular
story. Please understand that this does NOT reflect on my personal beliefs or politics. I
am just trying to stay true to the characters and culture of that period of history.
Feedback is ALWAYS appreciated and I am most grateful to all that have written and will
hopefully continue to write me with your thoughts.
Gabrielle pushed passed the familiar faces of Amazon warriors who only wished to offer their salute and allegiance to the queen, the leader, who had taken them into battle and on to victory. However the confused bard would allow no one to block her path. She ignored all greetings and salutations pushing her way through bodies until she was finally able to free herself of the crowd and walk through the large gated doors that lead into the temple of Artemis.
A sea of questioning eyes stared at the
entrance to the temple unsure if any should follow the anxious bard inside. However,
amidst the murmurs of bewildered Amazons the loud sound of a heavy metal door crashing
closed answered all questions.
Gabrielle shut out the world of reality
leaving her instead in a place of history and prayer. Once sure that she was finally
alone, the young woman let out one long breath with such fervor it sounded as if she had
been holding that single burst of air all her life and was only now letting it find safety
in release.
As the wind left her lungs, the
bard’s body deflated a bit, dropping back and propping against the doorway making
sure no other would follow into this place of solitude.
She pressed her back firmly against the cool metal of the door until the rivets of
the heavy plated bolts dug into the bare skin of her arms. She did not move. It was as if the confused young woman wished to
feel the pain of the sharp edges pressing into her skin so the agony that ripped through
her very inner being would be, if only for a moment, forgotten or replaced by a new
sensation.
After a few moments of frantic inhales
and exhales of air the bard stepped away from the entrance allowing her eyes to soak up
all that now lay before her for this was actually the first time she had ever even visited
this altar to the Amazon goddess.
Standing in the center of the temple
was a large stone statue of Artemis holding a sword high above her head, pointing perhaps
to the sun or her fellow immortals on Olympus. “Even their gods must honor a
blade,” the bard murmured noting the edge of the stone weapon was tinted red with
blood to show victory.
Gabrielle flinched a bit as she
recalled the smaller statue of the very same goddess she had knocked from a pedestal in
the healer’s hut earlier in the day. Her
head felt the throbs of the memory as she recalled how the stone figure had shattered into
a thousand pieces on the bare planking beneath her. The statue then, in the very blink of
an eye, had appeared again, standing in perfect condition on the very pedestal that was
its place.
The bard shook her head trying to push
the thought into a deeper and darker part of her mind. “Come on Gabrielle pull it
together. It’s just battle fatigue. That’s all.
You’ll be just fine if you don’t let yourself fall apart,” she said
in a self-lecturing tone hoping her own words would lend support. With a deep breath and a
new resolve the young woman continued her tour of the temple.
Gabrielle smiled weakly as she glanced
around the sacred chambers, now absent with worshipers but still filled with remnants of
those that had sought refuge earlier. “Hello,”
she called, really only wanting to hear the sound of her voice echoing back, hoping it
would offer her some feeling of comfort or familiarity.
It
did not.
Green eyes traveled the distance of the
large entranceway before blinking and moving onto the main chamber. The windows were
draped with heavy red ceremonial cloth. Gabrielle
ran her fingers over the surface noting that while smooth in appearance, the touch was
prickly and unfavorable to many of her senses. She moved her fingers to the cooler, more
comforting stone architecture.
The walls were painted with scenes of
battles fought and won in the name of Artemis and many depicted bloody bodies lying at the
feet of Amazon heroes. The traveling hand paused as the bard noted an all too familiar
scene depicted in the storytelling dyes. She bit her lip and ran her hands in a caressing
motion over a section of the cool wall that showed the glorious image of a Warrior
Princess and a bard standing victorious over the fallen form of a once misguided Amazon.
“Xena,” she whispered letting her head drop gently beside the painting as if
wishing the warrior would sneak up from behind, as she often did, and speak some words of
wisdom that would justify all that happened this day.
The warrior did not appear.
Gabrielle sighed knowing her friend was
now bound to more precious things just as she herself was. She stared up at the images
that told the story of Velasca, an Amazon who had killed queen Melosa, swallowed ambrosia,
food of the gods hoping for a life of immortality and power. Instead Xena had tricked both Velasca and the evil
Callisto into a river of lava.
Gabrielle pulled her hand back when she
saw the glowing eyes of her worst enemy painted on the wall as well. Even a mere artist’s rendition of Callisto
ripped at her already tattered soul bringing back the worst and deepest feelings of pain
and regret. “Hope,” she whispered with a hard swallow remembering how she
herself had aided in the death of her own evil young daughter.
The bard blinked away tears and moved
along the wall quietly still staring at the history told with pictorial accuracy. Her hand
again paused, this time over the image of a small boy with golden hair tied with a single
strip of leather. “Solon,” she
murmured, wondering if Xena even knew this portrait of her dead son existed in the temple.
Gabrielle felt her fingers tighten as
if trying to rip the image itself from the wall. There
was the echoing sound of an open hand slapping the cold stone. The young woman wiped her eyes with the back of
her hand and again looked upon the image of the boy standing in a horse drawn chariot
heading toward the sky knowing this was the greatest tribute the Amazons would pay an
outsider. “I am so sorry. I know Xena
thinks of you often and it hurts her that you are not here.” She shook her head as if
trying to make sense of all that had happened in her life. “Oh Solon, she
doesn’t think I know that but I do. I
can see it in her eyes when she looks at Tarren…and…sometimes no matter what she
says…I think she still has not forgiven me for….” She sniffled a bit. “I think of you too. Did you know that?
I miss you too Solon. I am so sorry I
let it happen,” She lowered her head and the blond strands fell to one side. “I
am so sorry,” she repeated thinking of all that had been lost in senseless bloodshed
and death in the name of nothing more than vengeance or hate of someone or some thing.
“Children hurt and dying,” she whispered as if those words were all that ran
through her mind.
The bard’s shoulders slumped a bit
and she moved away from the images of the past trying to concentrate on all that was now
in her heart. “Tarren. I must help little Tarren. I cannot lose her too,” she said with a
sudden burst of tears streaming down her cheeks. With a few deep breaths she again moved
on toward her objective. “I must help
Tarren,” she repeated feeling a bit of strength flow into her words as her muscles
tightened around them.
Gabrielle had a purpose.
Walking along the side of the chamber
allowing the smell of burning incense to fill her nostrils made the bard’s head sway
as the sweet aroma enveloped her, but the sudden trance was broken by the sight of the
very thing she was looking for, the Place of Asking.
Gabrielle knew from reading the scrolls
that any Amazon was allowed to come to the sacred Place of Asking which was actually just
a table placed right beneath an altar where one could offer their most prized possession
in exchange for the chance to ask a favor from the goddess.
The bard herself had come to ask for such a favor and as a queen of the Amazons she
expected her wish would be granted.
With a deep breath and a hard swallow
the young woman started toward the altar to try and make her world right again. But before
she could make half the distance her steps were halted by the sound of another voice
already standing in the very place she herself wished to be.
Not wishing to be confronted or honored
by another Amazon, the bard slid behind a large pillar before her own presence was
detected. It was there in the shadows of
silence that she listened to another’s request to the goddess of the Amazons.
Green eyes peeked from the darkness and
locked on a large familiar figure kneeling beneath the altar submissively. Eyes widened at the realization of just who was
speaking. “Eponon.” The small
figure fell against the hard pillar and closed her eyes as she listened to what should
have been a private moment.
The muscular figure dressed in full
Amazon warrior regalia kept her wounded arm carefully placed in the sling as she tried to
find the words that were in her heart to share with Artemis.
“Look I know I’m in trouble
for not staying with the centaurs, and I’ll bet you think that I’m hear to ask
you to save my feathers. I’m not,” she explained, caressing her wound with her
free hand as her usually frozen features softened in the quiet of her thoughts.
The bard smiled and shook her head
knowing that the wounded Amazon warrior had returned to the village despite her own orders
that she remain with the children in the centaur village. “Must have come back here
and hidden in the temple,” the bard thought, realizing that the Amazon had doubled
back to the village to guard the path of the fleeing children, ready to fight an army with
one arm rather than run. “Warriors,” she whispered, feeling a new tear cooling
her now burning cheeks.
The bard knelt down mistakenly allowing
her boot to rub against the tiny grains of dirt on the planking. “Damn,” she
murmured, knowing that all warriors’ senses were acute to sound.
The Amazon’s head snapped to one
side. “Who’s there?” she yelled already angered by the mere thought of a
possible intruder.
Gabrielle clung to the darkness holding
even her slightest breath demanding that she become one with the shadows.
There was silence.
After a moment of scanning her
surroundings Eponon shook her head an again turned to the altar deciding that it was only
the wind from the trees making the sounds of intruders for no true Amazon would dare
violate the Place of Asking while another was joined.
With a quick cleaning breath Eponon
repositioned herself closer to the altar wanting to make sure that her words were truly
between only she and the goddess. “So ya
see Artemis like I was saying…this kid of Xena’s, her name’s Tarren and
she’s real sick. I know she can be a
real pain in the ass and all but she’s basically a good little kid and someday
she’ll be a great warrior or maybe even something more.” She thought for a moment and smiled. “Xena
loves that kid an awful lot and it seems only fair that she gets to keep her since ya know
she lost her son and all.”
Gabrielle closed her eyes and pulled
her knees in close to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around them. “By the gods
Eppy. You’re here for Tarren,” she
thought burying her head in her own lap so as not to have the sounds of her muffled tears
heard by her Amazon friend.
Eponon fiddled with the feathers on her
armband. “The truth is Artemis I sort of
like the kid myself but don’t tell her that. She’ll
want to trail after me and stuff and I’m not the best example for a kid.” She
lowered her eyes. “I swear lots and well she’s got Xena and Gabrielle.” A
slight smile. “You’ve never seen anyone dote on a kid like those two do. Xena doesn’t think anyone notices how she
looks at that kid, lots of pride…I mean sure she’s tough on the kid but only
cause she has to be. She’s her mother
and a kid needs a tough mother in this world especially if you want a kid to stay on the
straight and Xena’s not gonna let Tarren stray one bit…no ma’am.” A
heavy sigh.” You can really see how much she loves Tarren and that’s real
important for both of em…and Gabrielle…Well truth be told Artemis I never really
liked the bard at first. She’s not a
true warrior and she talks too damn much sometimes. I
don't know how Xena or even Tarren takes it but...but…she’s taught me a lot and
I have really come to respect her and value her as a friend and a warrior of her own
way.”
Gabrielle held her breath waiting for
the rest of this revelation to be revealed. “Please Eppy don’t say anymore. I’m no warrior,” she whispered, biting
her lip to control her growing angst.
Eponon picked her head up and the bard
could see that her cheeks were wet with runaway tears.
The large Amazon wiped them away with the swipe of her thumb. “Gods I’m bawling like a baby. See what that kids done to me…damn pain in
the ass little brat. Ya see Artemis the kid
is nothing but trouble so I think it best if you leave her down here with her mother where
she belongs. She’s real sick ya
know.” Again the streams of liquid made
there way down the large Amazon’s face. “Damn it Artemis I’m an Amazon
warrior and if you need another soldier to stand beside you then take me. That is the life I chose and the moment of glory I
live for but Tarren is just…She should get a chance to grow up and make other
choices…So I’m askin you to help her…to make her well so she can have that
chance.”
There was a long pause as the Amazon
bowed her head and finished what the bard assumed must have been a silent prayer. Green
eyes grew wide as Eponon removed her most prized bonnet full of feathers earned for every
great deed know to Amazons and placed in carefully on the alter before her. “For
Tarren,” she whispered. With just a slight bow of her head the proud Amazon turned
took a few quick paces dropped to her knees and disappeared through a few misplaced
floorboards.
Gabrielle waited until she was sure
Eponon had made her way clear of the temple before removing herself from the darkness of
the shadows. Tears raced down her cheeks and
to the point of her chin with no effort to deter them made. The young woman moved quickly
tot he altar still hearing the echoes of the Amazon’s final words in her ears over
and over. “For Tarren.”
Gabrielle stretched out her hand
running the slender fingers over the top of a heavily feathered bonnet carefully
positioned on the altar itself. She smiled
and caressed the neatly formed headdress knowing the depth of feelings needed to have made
the Amazon part with her greatest pride. “Eponon you old softy. Tarren is never going to believe you gave up your
feathers just…just for her…” she said with a sniffle covering her eyes with
her fingers hoping to hold back another flood of tears.
“Tarren will say it wasn’t a fair trade…all these feathers for one
kid but we know different don’t we?” she whispered letting the tip of each
finger rub the silky sides of the now priceless treasure.
The bard’s eyes wandered to the
table before the altar. This was The Place
of Asking. Both the table and the large carved altar were covered with objects of value
and use, weapons and armor of every type. The
young woman wiped a tear from her eyes knowing that these symbols of faith were offered to
the goddess in trade for some wish for a miracle. Desperate Amazons had left behind these
offerings with a prayer for a loved one possibly on the brink of making the journey to the
other side. She wondered how many more had been left in the name of the warrior’s
child. “Time to see what being a queen can really do,” she muttered even hating
her own use of the title now. However, just this once the bard felt that she could use the
position bestowed on her for something truly worthwhile, to save a life rather than take
one. The young woman gripped the front of
the table and bowed her head slightly. “Artemis I call to you,” she said in a
whisper like chant.
There was no response. Gabrielle let out a long breath and shook her
head. “I should know better than to expect the gods to honor their own customs,”
she said with an almost vengeful tone. Her eyes traveled the length of the table she was
now holding so tightly to and her expression softened as she continued to eye the
never-ending array of gifts and offerings left in the name of love. “Why can’t
they have the same faith in peace and love outside these walls?” she questioned sill
gripping the table tightly. She thought of
Xena and young Shalia and of little Tarren and the blood she herself had shed this day and
there was only question the bard could think to ask. “Why?”
The word like the shards of stone back
at the healers hut resounded with the force of a thousand soldiers marching through a
field of dry grass and the young woman fell back releasing the table covering her ears to
again protect them from the painful screeches of amplified truth.
However this time an answer came.
A soft glow filled the room and the
figure of the goddess appeared beside the bard. “Hello my queen,” she said with
a simple but regal smile.
Gabrielle did not allow the appearance to take her by her surprise. In fact she had had expected it even asked for it.
Her cheeks turned red and her fingers tightened into fists as she turned to face one of
the famed gods of Olympus. There was a fire
in her eyes never before present in the gentle bard’s heart. “Artemis I am not
your queen,” she said with as much venom as she could muster.
Artemis raised a brow and her own voice became stiff and low. “But you were
chosen,” she declared, wanting it known that this decision was final.
The bard shook her head and patted the top of her own chest. “Only I choose for me
and I choose to walk away from that title.” She paused and stared at the goddess for
a long moment. “I am not the one who should lead these people.” Her voice
softened a bit as the green orbs locked with the mystical glance of an immortal.
“Ephiny is now destined to be the chosen one and you know it.”
Artemis gave an odd little smile and began circling the bard. “Perhaps.” She
paused and studied the now frail looking figure before her. “So be it! If that is
your desire then you are no longer my chosen. Ephiny shall be queen and lead the people
into tomorrow but what of you Gabrielle? Where
is you path?” she asked as if taunting the young woman to find an answer.
Gabrielle let out a long breath as she considered the question. “My path is with Xena
and Tarren,” she replied without hesitation.
The goddess moved along the chamber
glancing briefly at the offerings that had been left on the child’s behalf.
“Maybe it is and then again maybe it is not? Can
you really be sure of where you belong Gabrielle?” She moved closer to the bard and
her voice became a halting slither of words. “Your heart bleeds from the taste of one
kill and your mind is being torn in a thousand directions just trying to decide which way
you should run first. How do you know where you belong?” She again smiled oddly.
“You say you are not a queen nor a warrior and I know you feel you have lost the bard
inside of you, so what does that leave?” she asked, her arms folded as if awaiting
the answer that might change the path of all.
There was an odd look of confusion in
the bard’s eyes. “Nothing…I am nothing.” Gabrielle replied in a near whisper swallowing
hard at the thought of the empty vessel she had become.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to pull together all her
strength. “No! I am Gabrielle of Potedia
and whatever my path is I know it is shared with Xena and Tarren so stop with your riddles
and games,” she thundered with as much confidence as she could muster.
Artemis shook her head and took a step
back. “Who are you trying to convince Gabrielle?
Me or you?” She sighed and shook her head realizing that the help she was
hoping to offer was not being recognized as such. “Very
well…If you wish I shall not say another word.”
Gabrielle felt a chill run up and down
her spine as she stared into the eyes of the goddess of all Amazons. She held her chin high in the air trying to remain
unaffected by the power that was flowing all around her. She began moving in a steady pace
around the goddess afraid that if caught in one spot her feet would surely freeze.
“Why Artemis? Why all these games? Why the deception?” She walked in a circle
around the figure never letting her eyes drop pausing only to take a step closer to the
goddess. Her nose was nearly pressed against
the face of the worshipped one. “You know it took me while to clear my head enough to
realize what you had done but I figured it out,” she said tapping her blondness with
the tip of one finger.
“And what did you decide?” the goddess asked with a quirky little grin.
The bard waved her hands in the air and allowed a sickly but satisfied smile to form. She
pointed an accusing finger at the figure before her. “I knew it was all just too
easy. In the time I have spent with Xena, I have seen many battles….” She
lowered her eyes at the thought of the blood she had seen spilled. “Too many
battles…and that fight was just too easy. The Argonians never really had a chance.
Did they? You orchestrated everything.” The bard tossed her shoulders back and
quickened her pace, widening her circle. “You arranged it so Ephiny found us on the
trail knowing I would return if she spoke of peace and unification.” A look of
disgust appeared on the young woman’s face. “You used me to bring the Amazons
together again on a field of battle so they could defeat an enemy you allowed to divide
them many summers ago.” Her face grew
cold and muscles tensed at the mere thought of the manipulation she had been made part of.
“You used me to help you satisfy a 100 year old grudge of yours,” she growled.
Artemis opened her mouth to protest but then closed it and shrugged her shoulders.
“So I did but it was not just to satisfy my own needs Gabrielle. It was to bring the
Amazons together again so they could build as one nation, be as one people again,”
she replied simply deciding that she had no need to defend her actions. After all she was a god.
The bard let out a little wisp of air
and shook her head. “And you do not care about the cost. What of the Amazons that died like Tyrel.”
She closed her eyes. “And Shalia was like a daughter to Ephiny and…and what
about little Tarren? Is this child supposed to die for your satisfaction as well?”
she asked with her teeth clenched and her jaw tight.
Artemis lowered her head a bit.
“There are many unfortunate victims in a war Gabrielle.” She thought of Shalia
and Reea and how the combined forces of one soul in two bodies had completed a circle of
destiny. “But sometimes in order to make everything as it should be some must be
sacrificed,” she replied in a near whisper mimicking compassion.
The bard moved forward as if ready to
attack but instead stopped only a pace from her fate. “I do not accept that. You had no right to manipulate us. You had no right…”
Artemis held up a hand and the room
filled with a blinding light that forced Gabrielle to move back against the wall covering
her eyes to keep from being blinded.
“You forget I am a goddess. I have every right to do anything,” the
immortal thundered.
The bard spoke through the fingers that shielded her sight never allowing the power of the
goddess to intimidate nor deter her. “No Artemis you had no right to interfere with
me and my family. Because of you a little girl I love as much as if she were my own may
die and Xena…would die with her.” She shook her head and her voice dropped to a
near whisper. “There needed to be no war Artemis,” she seethed. “You could
have disposed of the Argonians any way you wished but you wanted to see a savage and
bloody battle to satisfy your own taste for vengeance because those many summers ago you
were not there to protect the Amazons. Could
it be you feel guilt for not being there to protect those that lived by your name and
trusted in you to protect them?” she yelled with such force that the final words
echoed through the chamber.
The bard had cracked the very force
that had held her in place.
Artemis shifted nervously and as
quickly as it had appeared the blinding light faded leaving only two figures, two victims
of battle facing one another. A look of genuine regret and pain came over the immortal one
as she settled back against her own alter caressing the feathers of the bonnet left by one
of most prized Amazon warriors. The voice was low and unsure of the words that followed.
“But we needed the battle. The Amazons were drifting further apart instead of closer
together. These simple negotiations would
have failed and a civil war would have destroyed what little was left of these people. They needed to bond together as one and what
greater way to do it than to face an old enemy?” she replied a bit defensively.
Gabrielle let her feet slide along the floor in slow easy steps as she spoke. “I have
to wonder if you did this for them or you,” was the quiet but forceful statement.
The golden eyes of the goddess flew open. “What!”
Gabrielle felt no fear for she had lost nearly all she could lose. If her life was to be
taken in the name of truth than it was a nobler way to die than with a sword in the hand. There was nothing more this immortal could do to
cause her greater pain than she already knew. “According to the legend the Argonians
attacked the Amazons and the tribes scattered. Why
didn’t you help them then?” she asked forcing her harsh gaze on the now
fluttering eyes of the goddess.
Artemis lowered her head and turned away so that the bard could see the nearly human
appearance of guilt and regret in her eyes. “I could not.”
Gabrielle would not allow this to go unanswered. “Why? Why could you not help these
people you swear to care so much about?” There was no running from the bard’s
well-focused examination of the facts.
Artemis lifted the well-feathered bonnet into her hands and cradled it close to her heart.
“When Reea chose to ignore the words of the book of knowledge I gave her…she set
into action a course that no god could change. You
see Gabrielle you are all offered different choices though you don’t realize it. If you take one road instead of another then your
destiny can be altered. Reea altered the
destiny of her people and there was not another road to cross until now. I just helped to make sure my Amazons took the
right path this time rather than watch them destroy each other. It is a great day. Isn’t it?” she asked
in an almost pleading tone, still caressing the feathers of the headdress.
Gabrielle shook her head but had no
venom left inside of her. “Is it? You
speak of Amazons dying for their goddess and their people…Perhaps that is the choice
that they made but what of little Tarren? She
is just a child and cannot make that choice.” Now it was the bard’s tone that
was pleading.
Artemis closed her eyes and shook her head. “That was an unfortunate event but the
child interfered where she did not belong.”
Gabrielle moved beside the now weary immortal still noting the tenderness with which she
held the Eponon’s offering. “Artemis Tarren went after her mother who you
dragged into this game along with me. I was
just an easy pawn for you to move around.” She shook her head and gave a sick little
laugh. “Gods how stupid was I to believe
that I could change the path of these people. I
went around spewing words of peace when you knew all the long that you wanted, no needed a
war.” She took a deep breath and her
eyes fixated on the bonnet as well. “But not Tarren.
You will not have her pay the price of this game Artemis. Help her. I beg of you. No I demand of you.
Help Tarren,” she said through a wave of broken sobs.
The reply was fast and simple. “I
cannot.”
Gabrielle’s eyes shot open in disbelief. “Why?
You are a goddess. You can do anything. Right?”
Artemis placed a tender hand on the shoulder of her chosen and shook her head. “There
is much you do not understand about we gods Gabrielle. There are limits for all of us. We all have someone greater or…something
greater to answer too eventually. The Circle of Fire protects your little Tarren and I
cannot interfere…No god can. It is
forbidden,” she answered as if speaking from a sacred scroll.
The bard held her hands up in the air
having heard all she wanted of mysteries and legends. “The circle of what?” she
asked suspiciously.
Artemis rose from her place at the altar and carefully returned the bonnet to its place.
“I cannot believe Eponon would give up her most valued warrior prize for this child. These feathers represent her life as my proudest
Amazon warrior.”
Gabrielle held her chin high as she met
the eyes of the now approaching immortal. “Perhaps your Amazons know more of love and
compassion than you give them credit for. Maybe
this one small child was able to crack open the hard cases façade of stone you have them
fashion themselves into in the name of being true Amazons.”
The goddess smiled tenderly at the
young woman standing stiffly before her. “Perhaps Gabrielle but as I said there are
many things you have yet to learn. Stay here
among the Amazons and all will be made clear in time.
This can be your home and your destiny. Now the people need a leader to speak of
peace and of friendship among Amazons.”
The bard took a step back. “Still
only amongst Amazon.” A look of disbelief. “Perhaps we both have a lot to learn
Artemis but I will get my lessons with Tarren and Xena and that is the path for me. That
is the life I choose.”
Artemis closed her eyes and nodded
knowing this was not a decision that could be swayed. “So be it. But know this
Gabrielle. Just as you have crossed over one path Xena’s destiny has already been
chosen. She and the child are intertwined. What happens to one happens to the other now. That was a choice the Warrior Princess made and
her path cannot be changed now. However you
my chosen one can choose from many destinies. It
is all up to you. But be careful Gabrielle
for once you have chosen and taken the final step there will be no turning back.”
“I know where my place is. It’s with Xena and Tarren. Where they go…I go.”
“Be sure Gabrielle. If you love them
then be very sure for choosing a road with any doubt will harm them both.”
With those words the goddess vanished.
Gabrielle looked around waving her hand
instinctively in the spot Artemis had just a moment ago stood. She let out a long breath
and then stared at a statue of the goddess. “I’m
sure.” There was doubt in the
bard’s voice but she pushed away her thoughts reached into her pocket and pulled out
her favorite quill. It was the one that had
been presented to her for winning the bard’s contest in Athens. She placed it on the altar beside all the other
offerings to the goddess of the Amazons and closed her eyes. “I don’t know what
this circle of fire you spoke of is or if you meant it when you said you couldn’t
help but if a humble gift in your name will sway you to help Tarren then here is
mine.” She caressed the slender quill which she had come to enjoy writing her scrolls
and in her diary. “I’d give up anything and everything to save the little
one,” she whispered as she removed her hands from her prized possession for the last
time.
Gabrielle lowered her head having felt
her efforts on behalf of Tarren had really failed. She
made no effort to hold back her tears but instead welcomed the reality of their presence.
“I’m so sorry Tarren. I
tried,” she mumbled. “I tried honey. Please
forgive me.”
There was the sound of a familiar
figure clearing her throat from behind and the bard stood and turned to see Ephiny
shifting nervously in the doorway. “I’m
sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Gabrielle sniffled a bit and tried to
compose herself as she approached the true queen of the Amazons. “It’s Ok
I’m done.” She took a step closer and let her eyes drop. “Eph I’m
sorry for what I said about the Amazons. It’s
just that so much has happened and I need to figure it out.”
The queen placed a friendly arm of understanding on the younger woman’s shoulder and
squeezed. “It’s OK Gabrielle. You
don’t have to explain anything to me. I
just wanted you to know that I am impressed…no proud…of the way you took charge
and did what you had to help my people even though it went against your own beliefs.” She stared at the blood on the bard’s skirt.
“I’m sorry you had to….”
Gabrielle glanced down at he stain and closed her eyes.
“Say it…I had to kill...well I didn’t. That man was not attacking me.” The bard
recounted the tail as if retelling a bad dream. “ His back was to me but I was sure
he’d kill Xena and Tarren. I was just
sure Xena wouldn’t hear him. Can you believe that?
I thought Xena would not hear something,” she said with a snicker. “So I
took Penella’s sword and I dropped the point on his back and pushed as hard as I
could.” Her voice became low and sad. “The thing is I was angry Eph. I wanted to hurt him. In that one moment I thought of all that had
happened, of Shalia and Tarren and I just didn’t hesitate. I pushed the sword through and I could feel the
skin split and the blade move though his insides and just to make sure it did the job I
gave it an extra little nudge like I’ve seen Xena do a hundred times. Then he dropped to the ground and I saw Xena with
her chakrum held ready as always to protect and serve.”
Green eyes wandered until they locked
with the blue eyed Amazon. A slight shrug of the shoulders. “She would have gotten
him Eph. I didn’t have to kill him. I could have clubbed him or drawn him away. I
could have yelled out, or even just thrown a rock but I let my hate rule my thoughts and I
killed in the name of it. That Ephiny, is
something I can never forget,” she said in a most solemn voice filled with pain and
regret for a part of her she knew was now gone forever.
The queen swallowed hard feeling the
pain emanating from her obviously self-tortured friend.
She had not realized until this moment the very depth of the agony the bard was
feeling. “Gabrielle it was a battle. You
thought your family was in danger and you defended them.
You killed in the name of love. That’s it,” was the response of the
maternal Amazon.
Gabrielle ignored the words of
comfort and allowed her thoughts to wander. “I wonder if he had a name?” she
asked never expecting an answer.
“Who?”
“The man I killed,” the bard replied sadly.
Ephiny grabbed her friend roughly by the shoulders giving a gentle shake. “Gabrielle
listen to me. He was an Argonian, a creature from another time and place. Artemis sent them all to their god. If you had not
taken his life he would have been sent to the very same place by another or Artemis
herself. That was a decision of the gods not
yours.”
The bard pulled away covering her face with her hands and pushing the tips of her fingers
against her forehead. “That doesn’t change anything Eph. They were living
creatures and as bad as they were they were fighting for what they felt was their
survival. Maybe they didn’t understand
that we were not a threat…I don’t know. All
I know is that there is blood on my hands that I’ll never be able to wash off. I
killed Ephiny and in that one moment when I pushed the sword into this back I felt
something I never thought possible…satisfaction.”
The queen bit her lip and took a deep breath but her voice became deep and authoritative.
“Gabrielle you need to let this go right now or you’ll destroy yourself.”
Tears again gathered at the corners of the bard’s eyes as she let out a wave of
uncontrollable sobs. “Eph I think it’s too late.”
Ephiny quickly enveloped her friend
into her arms wanting to protect her and take away the pain that was obviously too much
for such a gentle soul to bare. “It’s OK Gabrielle. “ She hugged her friend close. “You need to forget. I know it’s hard but you need to put it
behind you and move on. It just takes some time.”
The bard clung to the queen’s shoulder as if hanging on to the only thing that
offered true warmth. “I can’t Ephiny,” was the quiet reply.
“You must. You are a queen and….”
That was the one word that severed the
bond.
Gabrielle took a step back and her
eyes, which were still watered with tears filled with rage for two words that had led her
away from her true path. “Don’t you get it?
Don’t you hear me? I am not an Amazon. I
don’t want to be some tree hugging Amazon whose only thoughts are of how or when to
kill my enemy.”
The queen’s eyes opened wide at
the description of her people’s lives. “Stop right there Gabrielle.”
The bard’s words became cold. “No you stop.
You stop trying to push me into being something I don’t want to be. I am not your chosen one. I am not an Amazon Queen so for the love of the
gods stop calling me it.”
“You need to rest Gabrielle. You
don’t know what you’re saying. You’re
tired and…”
“Oh I know what I’m saying Queen Ephiny. I’m
saying that if I had never met you, never come here, none of this would have happened so
as far as I am concerned the Amazons have been nothing but a very painful part of my life
which I intend to cut from my existence right now.”
She ripped the beaded arm bans from her biceps and tore the necklace of sisterhood
from her throat tossing them both at Ephiny’s feet.
The queen felt the muscles in her arms
tighten but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath to control her anger. “Look
you an I can continue this another time. Right
now Tarren and Xena need you. Xena sent me to find you.
Tarren is stirring a bit…she even spoke.
I don’t know what it means.” She could not help but cringe at the look of
hurt and betrayal she was seeing in her friend’s eyes. However she continued feeling
that something needed to shake her friend from this rally of self-pity and
self-deterioration if even only for a short while. “They both need you right
now…not some broken down remnant of you but the woman, the bard, the person that they
can depend on in their time of battle.”
Hearing the words about the possibility of Tarren waking was almost too much for the bard
to bare. She wiped her eyes. “I knew
Xena wouldn’t let Tarren die…you’ll see.
That kid will be up and in trouble in no time,” she muttered to no person but
to an invisible room of voices she was now sure were always watching her.
Gabrielle headed for the door but
stopped in her tracks realizing that her friend would not follow. She could not bare to turn and face the friend she
had just insulted and hurt so she spoke from a distance and without turning.
“Ephiny.”
The queen stared at the broken beads of
friendship strewn across the floor a few falling in between the planking as if they were
nothing more than grains of dirt swept away. “What!”
The bard could feel the anger in the
queen’s words and knew this was no time to face this moment. “I’m sorry
about Shalia.”
The queen swallowed hard realizing she had not yet allowed herself to think of her ward. Her words were stiff but sincere. “Thank
you…and thank you for seeing that she was laid out in the royal hut. That meant a lot to…me.”
Gabrielle closed her eyes wishing she
could go back another moment in time and take back the harsh cruel words that had come
from her broken thoughts rather than her deepest heart. “Ephiny we’ve lost
enough of our best today.” She thought of Tarren. “We won’t lose
anymore…not today,” were the final words.
Ephiny turned to address the young woman, ready to face the demon that was destroying the
gentle soul of her friend but Gabrielle was already gone.
She turned and with a heavy she began picking up the stones that remained intact.
Gabrielle raced past names and faces
ignoring all touches and voices in an effort to return to her place. She raced into the hut sure she would see
Tarren’s eyes open and that mischievous little smile already at work trying to
explain her way out of trouble with Xena.
However as the door slammed behind her
all the bard saw was the still distraught warrior mother cradling the still unconscious
child in her arms as she hummed a song the young woman had never heard before. It was a lyric that seemed dedicated to Tarren and
the bard had to wonder if Xena just sang the words straight from her heart with such
melody or had actually had taken the time to write this song. Somehow the bard knew the latter was not the
case. Xena’s voice only found song when
it felt something.
The warrior did not turn but just
closed her eyes for a moment. “Hi.”
Gabrielle swallowed hard as she inched
closer tot he pallet. “Hi. How is she? Eph said…”
Xena repositioned the child closer to
her shoulder and paced a gentle kiss on the youngster’s cheek eliciting a jerky
movement but no sound. “She’s
fighting Gabrielle. My kid is a fighter and
she will not let this beat her,” she said turning her head so the bard could see the
tear stained cheeks on the usually stoic face of the warrior princess.
Gabrielle was not sure what to say or
do. She wanted to reach back in time and
change things she had said and done but she could not. Her voice became low and cracked
from the weight of the words she spoke. “Of course she’s a fighter Xena. Look who her mother is,” she said forcing a
lump down her throat as she took in a huge breath of air.
The warrior closed her eyes and nodded.
“Yeah look who her mother is,” she replied sadly feeling the weight of he own
guilt at not being there to guide her young daughter.
The bard felt the silence hanging over
her like a rain cloud ready to burst. With
one quick step she rushed forward dropping to her knees beside the bed speaking in a rush
of tears and broken ramblings. “Xena I
am so sorry for what I said. I didn’t
mean to hurt you and I never wanted anything to hurt Tarren…I love her so much and
….”
The warrior mother placed a gentle hand
on the bard’s shoulder and silenced her friend. “Shhh Gabrielle it’s Ok.
Everything is going to be Ok,” was the calm and almost too lucid response.
Gabrielle dropped her head on the
pallet wrapping her arms tightly around both Tarren and Xena as her tears fell. “Xena
lets leave here. As soon as Tarren’s
well. Promise me we will leave here,”
she begged wishing she could crawl up beside her large friend and hide in the crux of the
muscular arm just as Tarren often did.
The warrior gave her friend a gentle
squeeze and let out a quick breath. “I promise. If that’s what you want
Gabrielle then we’ll go as soon as…as soon as Tarren is better,” she
replied wishing the little girl would again say something even if was just some gibberish
word about a Stuffy.
Through a haze of sniffles and hidden
sobs the bard remained in the embrace of her family needing and wanting to hold and
protect them while she felt the life rushing through each as one force. She pulled her
head back just a little turning enough to watch as her friend sat clinging to the wooden
frame of the large pallet never letting her eyes blink from the small form of little
Tarren.
This was the great Warrior Princess
Xena not brought down by an arrow but reduced to a vessel of fear by the possible loss of
her only living child.
Gabrielle bit her lip as she tried to
think of a way to touch the pain of her closest friend and offer some comfort as she was
surely expected to do. Her eyes narrowed as they caught sight of a large binding of
parchments nestled underneath Xena’s arm.
It was Nala’s diary.
The bard felt her brows wrinkle as she
noticed how the warrior caressed the smooth skin binding of the large book with the side
of her thumb with the same rhythm and tenderness she did the child’s hand. The touch was soft and loving and protective.
“I see you’ve been reading Nala’s diary again? Did you find anything…helpful?” she
asked wondering what had brought the mystic’s memoir out of the saddlebag and into
the warrior’s hold.
A blue eye glanced down at the diary
and then back tot the figure in its true focus. “I
was reading to Tarren. She always wanted to hear some of the stuff in the diary so I just
read her a bit.” The mother snapped her head around suddenly. “Did you know that
Tarren’s first word was Momma,” she said with a proud smile. It faded replaced
by an immediate from. “She called a
gruffy old dog of Nala’s Momma.” She
shook her head. “Because I wasn’t there,” she said each word dripping with
regret.
Gabrielle placed a tender hand over the
warrior’s fingers making sure to cup both Tarren’s and Xena’s in the grip.
“Hey that is not your fault Xena. You
didn’t know. You have to accept that and…”
This was the same weight of guilt that
had been an issue with the warrior since she had found her daughter.
The watery soft gaze changed to a cold blue stare turned on the bard and the muscles of
the warrior’s face grew tight her fingers gripping the old diary with such force that
the binding was starting to buckle from the pressure.
“No I don’t have to accept anything,” she growled. She held the book
out in front of her for her friend to see. “Do
you see this book?” she yelled
Gabrielle nodded. “Yes Xena I see
it,” was the quiet reply as she noted the intricate locking mechanism laced on the
diary to keep prying eyes out
A tear raced down the mother’s cheek as she closed her eyes and released her crushing
grip on the diary. “This book is all I
have of my little girl’s life Gabrielle. I
wasn’t there when she spoke her first words or took her first steps.” She paused
and forced the lump in her throat back down to her stomach. “ I’ve read all
about it but I wasn’t there for her when she needed me then and I wasn’t there
when she needed me...here”
Gabrielle’s voice became soothing.
“You didn’t know Xena.”
”Do you think that makes it all right? Do
you think that makes it easier? Tarren is my child and I have failed her from the moment
she took her first breath.” Her words
began to break up.” I thought…I thought I was taking her down the right
path…that we were doing the right thing….” She wiped her eyes dry as she
again let her eyes lock on the figure of her only child. “But Gabrielle I left her. I should have stayed with her and I left her
behind.” She shook her head. “In my heart I knew it was wrong to go but I went
anyway because I’m a warrior and that’s what I do. Right? I kill and it’s
easy for me.”
The bard shook her head. “No not
right. You did what was best for the…greater good Xena.”
“No. She is my greatest good now.”
Xena stared at her friend with an eye-piercing look that spoke of a parent’s devotion
and regret. “Gabrielle she is my child. If I do not stand for her first who will? If I do not protect her and care for her then who
will? I am her mother and that means this life was entrusted to me to watch over and care
for before any other…and I failed her.”
Gabrielle could see her friend had
tears in her eyes and was using every essence in her being to try and holster her
emotions. “But Xena it’s not your fault….”
There was a sick little laugh and the eyes again studied the tired and confused bard.
“Not my fault…then whose is it?” She glanced down at the book and her voice
dropped to a near whisper. “Nala wrote
all about everything Tarren ever did in here. Gods
I’ve reread it 1000 times and still it doesn’t replace the feel of holding my
child if only for a moment or just hearing her laugh.”
Gabrielle could feel the tears streaming down her face as she watched her friend caress
the large book. “Did you know she
used to ask Nala every night where her Momma was?” she asked glancing at the child
and letting her tears run free. “I
wasn’t there to hold her or tuck her in at night or make sure she ate those
vegetables she hates so much.” A slight smile. “She really hates those damn
things Gabrielle. She calls them
vegeterribles.” Her voice became low and
the tears now ran freely down the sides of her face.
The large hand wiped the eyes dry with a single but slow swipe. “No Gabrielle
I wasn’t there and I should have been. It
is my fault. I should have been with Solon and I should have been there for Tarren and now
I have failed both of them.” The warrior slid further onto the bed beside her
daughter and wrapped her arms around the small form drawing her as close as she could to
her own body. “But your momma is here now baby girl and she is never going to leave
you again.”
The warrior hugged the book tightly and
stared at her best friend. “No Gabrielle
my child an I will never be apart again,” she said in a tone that sent chills down
her friend’s back.
Gabrielle swallowed hard and reached
out to touch the warrior but Xena pulled away. “Xena you need to rest. I’ll stay
with Tarren if you want to lie down or go for a walk.”
The warrior shook her head. “No…it’s Ok…I’m not leaving her
Gabrielle. No matter what I will not leave
her ever again.
The bard’s face was filled with
concern for her friend’s odd and distant manner. “I want to help Xena. I need to help,” was the plea.
The begging tone in the bard’s
voice softened the warrior’s stance and she forced a weak smile. “Ok…Why don’t you go get us some
food? I want to get some more broth down her
if I can. She needs he strength.”
Gabrielle swallowed hard at the sight
but knew that at this particular moment she was as much an intruder in this place as was
anyone else who might enter. She got to her feet and nodded. “Are you sure
you’ll be Ok?” she asked not eager to leave the cottage but anxious to do
anything that might ease the pain of the ones she loved.
Xena started to hum a lullaby as she
rocked the sick youngster in her arms. “Uh huh we’ll be just fine,” was the
immediate reply as she tucked the youngster into a tight corner just beneath her shoulder
caressing the soft skin as she hummed.
Gabrielle closed her eyes and choked on
her words. “Ok I’ll get the broth
and be right back.”
There was no response just the
continued sound of a mother’s song for her child.
With one last glance the bard walked
out of the hut and into the village. Her vision changed so that all who had once stood
before her were now ghosts figments of a life of long ago.
She could not feel their touch or hear their words.
The only thing in her mind was broth. That
was what was needed and that was what she was determined to get even if she had to kill
again.
The outside world had quieted down but
inside the royal hut another battle still raged.
As soon as the bard departed the
humming stopped and Xena whispered to the little girl in her arms. “I know you can
here me. I know you can feel me. I feel you inside of me,” she whispered
touching her own chest with the palm of her hand. “Tarren I know you’re lost and
it’s dark and your scared but if you follow the sound of my voice and the feel of my
heartbeat you’ll make it back.”
There was a slight jerk of a small
muscle.
Xena sat quietly beside the bed
watching the still form of her child. “That’s
it baby. You just come to momma.”
Tarren’s breathing was so slow that Xena had to keep her head on the child’s
chest just to be sure there was a steady rhythm of motion. “Come back to me little
one. I need you so much. Come back and let me take care of you…please.
Everyone misses you so much.” She stared at the door knowing that outside that
barrier was a tribe of Amazons and one bard that loved this small child and wished nothing
more than to offer they are prayers and thoughts.
The warrior ran her large hand over the
warm brow of her daughter hoping the cool cloth would offer comfort. She took a deep breath and her voice became tender
and soothing. “Tarren, I know you are in there and I know you can hear me, so listen
to Momma Ok.” She paused to try and
regain her words. “I can’t make it
without you. I don’t want to even try. You are the bright light in my darkness youngster.
Please do not leave me. Do not leave me
little one,” she begged allowing her free hand to run gently down the child’s
arm.
Xena could see the youngster fidget a
bit again so she was sure her words were being heard somewhere. “That’s right baby you fight. You fight your way back here to me. Where you go I go and where I go you will always
be. You have my heart little one.” She
thought about how the child had changed her life. “No Tarren you are my heart. Do you understand that? My life was so empty until you filled it up. There was a dark spot that you made bright.”
She felt another tear race down her cheek. “Do not leave m now.” The words
gathered force and filled with a mixture of emotion. “Fight damn it. You get back here with me where you belong. Do you understand?
Do you understand?” she yelled letting her head drop to the child’s side. She made no effort to hold back her sobs but
instead just moved further onto the pallet and wrapped her arms tighter around her
daughter. “I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I
didn’t stay with you. I’m sorry I
wasn’t there when you needed me. I will
never leave you behind again. You have my
word. Just come back to me Tarren
please.” She closed her eyes and looked toward the ceiling. “ I’ll give
anything if you come back to me.”
There was no response from the child
and no further movement.
The warrior glanced at the diary in her
hold and her face turned red with anger at the very object that represented her own
absence and the years she had missed with her child.
Using the very essence of the strength in every muscle Xena threw the book against
the wall. “No more yesterday,” she thundered watching as the binding broke in
half and a bright blinding light suddenly filled the room.
Xena jumped quickly from the bed
grabbing her sword with one hand and her chakrum with the other. Holding them both high in
the air, she stood protectively in front of her young daughter waiting for the source of
the light to appear. “Show yourself…Ares?” she growled sure this was a
moment he would try to take advantage of.
However the form that stepped from the
center of the glow was no muscular male god.
TBC
Hello everyone. I know this is short but Legend is taking
me a bit longer to finish than I had planned and I am involved in some other writing
projects at the time. I appreciate all the e-mail and the patience J The next
installment will finish Legend and then it is on to some new and slightly different
adventures. So here is one chapter from part 13. I hope you enjoy.