Here is another story. I hope you all enjoy it! The standard disclaimer. The characters of Xena and Gabrielle belong to Universal. No copyright infringement is intended, and this all came from my brain, and is not taken from any literary source or any other source whatsoever. No one gets the blame for my stories except me.
From Athens City Academy of Performing Bards
The Taste of Loss
by Marie E. Costa
Xena's insides froze. How dare she...control. I need to maintain control. She wormed her way into my life. She told me I'd never be alone again. She taught me to believe, to accept, to share, and now she casually mentions leaving me. I am a fool! I knew it couldn't last. I knew I was a fool to allow myself to feel again. I needed to pretend it didn't affect me. It's her decision.
I tried so hard to act nonchalant as I asked. "For how long?" Did she hear my heart drop? Four or five years! She said it as though she were only going away for an afternoon. I thought she craved adventure. I thought she wanted to see the world. I thought she said I wouldn't be alone ever again! Betrayal seems to be the norm for me. I must accept it. It's probably for the best anyway...she's too good...too full of light to live my way. I need to let her go.
I fought to control my breathing. Slowed my heart beat...What nonsense was she spouting while I fought to maintain my calm...I won't notice her absence? I spoke without thinking. "Even if I had an army around me I'd notice you missing." She looked at me with such surprise. Why? Have I been that mean? Didn't she realize how I felt? Why else would I be so protective? Maybe she didn't expect me to admit it. Maybe that's why she's leaving? Is it because I care, or because she didn't think I did? More nonsense...of course she'll get in. I know they'll accept her...she's good, very good.
A quick good-bye. Already I miss her. Xena's eyes softened as she watched the strawberry blond walk out of her life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gabrielle tossed and turned unable to get comfortable. The bed was soft enough so why couldn't she sleep? Sighing heavily she sat up and lit a candle. The room seemed so empty...maybe I've gotten too used to sleeping with someone...first Lila and then Xena...I've never been alone before.
Her mind turned to Xena and she felt an unfamiliar stab at her heart. Did the warrior even miss her? She frowned. Probably not...she was probably glad I left....I was little more than a nuisance to her...she was always getting me out of one scrape or another...I wonder why she never forbid me to follow her? I mean other than the first time, which doesn't count. Every time she got upset with me... every time she saved me from my own folly... every time she told me to stay behind and wait for her I was positive she'd leave me...instead I left her. "I wonder what she's up to now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Xena slowly put away her dishes. Supper had been slightly burned vegetable and undercooked rabbit. She really hated cooking. Picking up her sword and whetstone she sat by the dying fire and began sharpening her sword. Same routine she'd followed for years so why did it seem so meaningless tonight?
So many times in the past I wished Gabrielle would shut up. Now I just wish she were her. I'd gladly let her talk my ear off! The night noises magnified, sleeping never easy to begin with, was near impossible now. The lack of noise from the opposite side of the campfire kept her awake, as easily as any nightmare she'd ever endured. Damn the girl!
During the day she'd found herself turning to the empty spot where Gabrielle should have been walking. It hurt more than she wanted to admit. Maybe in the morning she'd head towards Athens...just to make sure the girl was okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gabrielle smiled. She couldn't believe her luck. To think that all these talented bards were upset because she'd been cast out of the contest...she shook her head in wonder. Her smile deepened and her heart sang with joy as she heard the greatest bard she'd ever hoped to meet declare it a sin if she were not allowed to compete. If only Xena were here to share her triumph. Her joy lessened and she faltered...if she got in she'd never see her friend again. A sharp pain tore through her body and she sagged in her seat. The realization of what she had done just now hitting home. She'd left her best friend all alone. She's out there fighting who knows what with no one to care if she falls. She put a hand over her mouth, and looked with horror stricken eyes at the stage. What a fool I have been! But I can't fail to win...not after all they went through for me, but I can't stay here. I have to find a way...turn down the award.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slowly Xena packed Argo and turning around headed for Athens. What she'd say when she got there still eluded her, but she'd find the right words. Maybe she could pretend Gabrielle had forgotten something of hers, or that Hercules had sent a message and she was going to go join him...no she couldn't lie to the girl. She pressed her lips together and furrowed her eyebrows, trying to think of something to say. She slipped off Argo. Much as she wanted to reach Athens she didn't know what to do when she got there so she decided to walk, maybe she'd be inspired. Walking certainly seemed to inspire Gabrielle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I should be sad to be leaving the Academy, it is what I dreamed about most of my childhood...but I'm not. Gabrielle thought grinning from ear to ear. They accepted me, but I don't belong with them. Now I can go back to Xena. A shadow dropped over her face as she thought of her fears from the night before. Fears that Xena wouldn't want her back. Shrugging she shook her fear away. I don't need to worry...after all Xena did say she'd miss me. A warm pleasant feeling filled her from the center out at the mere thought of rejoining the warrior woman.