I Will Not Be Denied ã 12/98
By: BJ O’Donnell
Copyright Disclaimer: As always, there is no intention of any copyright infringement intended. Xena and Gabrielle and any other names you recognize belong to Universal Studios, MCA and others. They do not belong to me, and I am not being paid for this. Yada, yada, yada…
Sex and Violence Disclaimers: This story contains lots of references to a sexual relationship between two consenting women. There is also a somewhat kinkier kind of sex between said women, namely sm/bd, so if this offends you, or you are not over 18, or if it is illegal where you live to display this type of love, well then, don't read it.
There are also scenes of graphic violence as well as scenes of sexual violence. If this will bother you too much to enjoy this story then please, don’t read it.
Any questions, comments or just any other little thing that might be on your minds, you may reach me at: badgirl1@ix.netcom.com
I Will Not Be Denied
(c) 12/98
Prolog
"Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight.
Exit: Light
Enter: Night
Take my hand
We’re off to never never land"
Metallica
Her fingers came down hard into the soft fleshy neck of the man as he knelt cowering in front of her, his hands tied behind his back, stretching his muscles tight over the broken bones of his shoulders. The heavy chain mail covering her wrists below her gauntlets scraped his chin roughly as she applied pressure to his neck. Towering over this man, she looked like a fierce wargod in his eyes. Her long raven hair dangled wildly away from the chain mail and beaded headpiece that she wore and the heavy chest armor that covered her, made of coins from empires she long ago vanquished, bore no scars from battle.
No battle scars, which can only mean one of two things. That either this warrior runs from battle or… she is very good the man thought to himself. He already knew the answer to his question as he looked up at the fierce woman, this warrior has never been defeated.
There was a slight upturn at the corner of her full lips and the brow above one of her intensely blue eyes turned up as if in a mocking smile at the man. Her eyes seemed to glow like a blue flame from a very hot fire. A flame that would burn if one got too close and a glow that never failed to terrify those around her, those that knew her best and knew just what she was capable of doing.
Looking deep into the eyes of the frightened man with her cold steely ones, she grabbed him by his collar roughly and pulled him slowly towards her. "I have cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You have only seconds to live. Tell me where the woman is and I may think about letting you live." she growled, her voice so low and throaty as to be almost unheard. But the prisoner heard, oh yes, he heard all right. He knew that this warrior did not play games. Not when it came to killing at least.
"I… I saw her in the village." he managed to stammer out.
"Yes, I know that, fool. But where has she gone now?" she spat as she pushed him away with a slap hard across his already bloody face causing more of his life fluid to spray across the room.
A smile broke cleanly across her face.
"I only know that she spoke of the caves near the base of the mountain. Please, I have told you all I know. Please spare my life, I have a wife and children… please" the man begged as he grew more weak from lack of blood to his brain and his tattered body.
"He has spoken the truth." She said knowingly as she looked once more towards the terrified man.
Then glaring deep into his eyes, she bent down slowly again to place her face nearer to his. Closing her eyes she slowly breathed in deeply the scent of his blood, her nostrils flaring at the pungent odor of the man’s life force as it slowly ebbed from him. She listened to his rapid heart beat pound wildly beneath his chest, almost tasting his fear as he trembled beneath her hands. Opening her eyes once more, she wanted, no… needed to see the terror in his face, craving this fear she created in him.
She loved this power, this ability to terrify people into doing her bidding. She would not and could not be denied anything.
She then whispered into his ear, her voice sweet and soft almost as if she were speaking to a lover "I have thought about it little man."
Standing up quickly she looked down into his eyes and spoke again only not as sweetly as before and loud enough so that all could hear, "When he is dead, kill his wife and children and place their heads on spikes near the gate. It will send a message to those that try to challenge my authority."
Eyes wide with terror, the man tried to scream as the guards dragged him from the chamber. Scream for his life, for the lives of his family, lives he knew would soon be over, but he could not get the sound out. Terror choking off all breath as it tried to pass his lips. The last thing he heard before being pulled from the room was the sound of Xena: The Conqueror, laughing.
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Chapter 1
"I would be the one to hold you down
Kiss you so hard, I’ll take your breath away.
And after, I’d wipe away the tears,
Just close your eyes dear."
Sarah McLachlan
"Xena… please let me. I promise I won’t tell anyone if that’s what you’re afraid of." Gabrielle whispered as her lips moved in closer to Xena’s ear.
"No, I want do it myself." Xena replied steadfastly, her breathing a bit more rapid now.
"But you can’t reach as well as I can, let me do it, please. You know how long I have been wanting to try this." Gabrielle whispered again as she gently touched Xena’s bare shoulder.
"Just let me do this by myself. I know just how much pressure to apply and where I need the most attention, you can watch and learn. How’s that?" Xena said as she looked into soft green eyes noting the disappointment that shown in them.
"Fine, but you know that I could do it right. I would at least be more gentle." Gabrielle returned as she moved slowly away from Xena, a bit of hurt resonating in her voice.
A tense smile broke across Xena’s lips in Gabrielle’s direction, she knew in her heart that Gabrielle would indeed be gentler. But to have the bard touch her like that would surly drive her insane right now.
Xena shook her head as if to release her fantasies then picked up the needle and thread and began to stitch her shoulder from where her own sword had caused the open gash. Gabrielle was right, she probably could reach this wound better then I can.
"I can’t believe that I did this to myself. I haven’t cut myself with my own sword since I was a little girl just learning to fight with one." Xena said as she continued to stitch up the wound.
"Well, something like this was bound to happen Xena. You haven’t been getting much sleep lately. You’re just worn out. You need some rest." Concern showed on Gabrielle’s face as she knelt down to help by dabbing a damp sponge over the newly stitched wound.
I know why I haven’t been sleeping lately, it’s those dreams that I have been having, they are keeping me from relaxing enough to sleep. Xena worried to herself. I know that I can’t keep going on like this, I need to rest, but I can’t. These dreams seem to consume me, every moment I am sleeping my thoughts are filled with such vivid dreams. Horrible dreams.
Xena watched closely as Gabrielle went about putting the medical supplies away. She loved the way this woman moved, the way her soft skin encased her tight muscles as they flexed when she bent down. It seemed that the very essence of sensuality flowed around her with each step and inflection of her body. Xena’s thoughts drifted to more pleasurable ways that she would like to see Gabrielle move, imagining her struggling against bonds as they held her tightly up against a pole.
Xena had to once again shake the fantasies away, aghast at the images she was having of her friend.
"Gabrielle, I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s been wrong with me lately, but I need to find out soon." Apologizing more for her fantasies then for hurting her friends feelings.
Should I tell her of the dreams? I could leave out the parts about her. No, how could I leave out those parts? They are the problem. They are what truly bother me. And what of the other parts, the more violent ones… I can normally deal with my dark side, the killing, the power, and the control… but how can I deal with that when it involves her and my darker passions? And how could I possible tell her of those thoughts… those desires. Xena thought to herself as she gazed into the fire absently.
"What have you been dreaming of that has been keeping you awake?" Gabrielle asked innocently as she continued to put things away.
Gabrielle knew that something had been bothering Xena. Every night while she lie next to the warrior, she could hear her as she called out in her sleep. Sometimes it sounded like she was in pain but other times, well… it sounded different. Oh how she wished she could hear those other sounds from this warrior without the boundaries of sleep holding them apart. Those sounds, the sounds of passion. The sounds of power that I long to hear from her. Gabrielle’s mind wondered as she too looked into the fire.
"I don’t really know Gabrielle," Xena lied, "I just remember bits and pieces, fragments really, of things I have done in the past… terrible things. Things that could have been…"
Xena was afraid that if she told the bard the whole truth, she would surly leave her. She had never even let on to the bard that she was in love with her, much less try to explain some of her "darker passions". Xena was sure that Gabrielle would be terrified that her dreams could become reality, that Xena might still be capable of doing those things and to her.
And Xena herself feared the same.
Kneeling down in front of Xena and lightly placing her hands on the warrior’s knees, Gabrielle looked up into amazingly blue eyes, "Xena, those terrible things you have done are in your past. Long ago you gave that all up. You could never do those things again, I know you. I know that you have a good soul and could never be like that again." Gabrielle said softly as she tried to imagine what Xena was dreaming about. Although, I am strangely attracted to that darker side you seem to control so well. Gabrielle thought as a shiver ran through her body. She got off her knees quickly, then turned and sat down next to Xena, their shoulders and thighs touching gently.
Ah, to feel her skin next to mine like this. To feel the heat and power from her body as it radiates from her. I quake even now as she touches me even in this benign way Gabrielle thought. How long have I desired her like this? I don’t know when I started to feel this way, I just know that I do. And how long can I hide my true feelings from her? As long as I can I suppose… I do not want to loose her, not for anything. And certainly not because of the love I have for her. I have never even confessed my true love for her and now my desires for her, for her darker, more controlling side have all but consumed my every waking thought. How can I reveal this without her wanting to run as far from me as she can? Gabrielle continued to debate with herself as she and Xena sat quietly next to each other, staring into the fire. Each one deep in her own thoughts.
As their shoulders and thighs touched gently, Xena’s mind began to wander too. The passion that rises in me every time she touches me lately… I don’t know how long I can control myself. I don’t want to loose her. I can’t loose her. She is the light in my darkness. The reason I live. But I fear that my passions will chase her from me. Maybe it is just the dreams I have been having that are bringing out the darker side of my desires. My desires (and need) to control, to weld power and desire over others. To make them mine. I must find the answer to why I have begun to dream of these things…
Xena stood slowly, stretching her long form up from the ground and extending her hand towards the bard, "Come to bed now, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow." Xena said matter-of-factly, not waiting for Gabrielle’s response as she pulled her up and guiding her to their sleeping furs.
Gabrielle stood without questioning Xena’s command. She relished the authority of this warrior, desired it really. Then a little shudder went through her body, settling somewhere between her legs as she walked along side of Xena, enjoying the feel of this strong woman beside her.
"What’s so important that we have to do tomorrow?" Gabrielle asked as she shook off the feeling she was getting and lay down next to Xena.
"Tomorrow we find out why I have been having these dreams that are keeping me awake at night. Now go to sleep." Xena said quietly as she curled her arms protectively around the bard. At least I can still do this without worrying about chasing her away. She actually likes when I hold her like this. She says it helps keep her own bad dreams away. I wonder if that’s all it is… She felt the bard settle her head into the soft pocket of her shoulder and chest, then sliding her arm gently across her still leather clad stomach as they both drifted into restless sleep.
Chapter 2
"Bow down before the one you serve.
Your gonna get what you deserve."
Nine Inch Nails
"The caves, go to the caves and bring her back to me. But not one hand is to be placed on her. Do you understand me? No one is to hurt her!" Xena commanded to her Lieutenant. That’s for me to do, if I have to. Xena thought with an evil grin on her face. She is mistaken if she thinks she can hide from me for too long. I will not be denied. Xena continued musing as her guards left her alone in her chambers.
Once Xena had seen this young woman she knew that she wanted her, would have her. The girl was a fighter, she liked that. She had fought bravely to help save her family and home. Xena took note of her as she watched her fight off two of the armed soldiers. She punched and swung on the men without any fear for herself, trying to protect the other women in her group. Then she was gone.
After learning who this girl was, Xena had her family spared but held captive. A little gift for the girl, once she found her. She liked the idea that the girl was a fighter too. More pleasure that way Xena thought to herself with a feral grin spreading across her lips.
I came to Poteidaia to take this village for everything they had and to take its women for the slave trade but I think I have found one that I would like to keep for myself. Xena thought amusingly to herself. I have been getting bored lately and I need a new distraction. Gabrielle is it? Well little one, you will be mine soon enough. I will not be denied Xena’s mind wondered as she strode out into her camp.
She looked over her troops as they practiced their sword techniques. As she approached closer to them, they halted their sparring and gave small bows in her direction, lowering their eyes from her glare. She moved like a panther through their midst, her cold eyes darting in all directions. Her body sleek and beautiful and oh so very dangerous. Her men wanted no part of that dangerous side.
Walking amongst her men she felt a surge of energy. She was more then just their leader, she was the greatest conqueror that had ever been known. Xena: Destroyer of Nations, Conqueror they called her. She had never been defeated because she demanded only the best of her army and was ruthless if she didn’t get what she wanted.
She had conquered most of the known world and found very little now to hold her attention for long. But this girl, this young woman… now there was something she could enjoy, Xena’s mind continued to wander towards thoughts of the girl.
With a flick of her wrist, she waved at her men to continue their workout then walked on to her officer’s tent.
"Perdicus, I want you to take the slaves on to Athens. Get a good price for them and I will rejoin you and my army again in Amphipolis." Xena instructed her general as she strode into the tent.
"But Xena, do you think it is wise that you should remain here without your army?" Perdicus replied as he looked at his commander, his mind already scheming.
"First of all, it is not up to you to tell me what I should do, Perdicus" she spat back at him. Then turned away from him knowing he would do nothing here to harm her and began to pour herself a goblet of wine. "Anyway, I will not be alone. I intend on keeping one hundred of my men with me. That should make you feel better about my safety." she said sardonically.
He just glared at her back for a brief moment then bowed his head slowly as he exited backwards out of the tent. "As you wish Xena."
She knew that Perdicus would give his right arm to take control of her army and to take everything she had. But she wasn’t about to let that happen. No Perdicus, you will not get me this time. She thought as she began looking over maps. I have a plan for you little man then quickly sent one of her men to get her second in command.
"Dearest Calisto, I have a little something I need you to do for me," she said sweetly as her second in command entered the tent.
Chapter 3
"One’s reality is what it is, not what we would like it to be."
Frank Zappa
Xena awoke again from her dream as she had every night. Sweat glistening over her body and her breathing rapid to match her pulse. Why am I dreaming of these people long past from my life she questioned. And these people and places like this are not even like what really happened. It is as if this is somehow a different reality. Like something that could have been. Xena shuddered as she continued to think to herself while trying to steady her breathing and relax.
She lay as quiet as she could next to Gabrielle, she did not want the bard to wake up and begin asking questions again. How can I explain my dreams to her? She was beginning to think that they may not even be dreams, they seemed so real. Maybe one of the gods was playing tricks on her again. Ares! No, on second thought it doesn’t feel like him. It must be something else.
As the bard stirred in her sleep, Xena drew her in closer to her chest. She could feel the soft breath escape Gabrielle as it floated over her dampened skin. By the gods, I want so much to touch her. To kiss those lips again and have her know, I mean really know that it is me kissing her this time. I want to make love to her, to hold her, to hold her down and… By the gods! What am I thinking about? Xena shuddered again as the thoughts past through her. How can I think like that about Gabrielle?
Xena gently moved away from the bard as she rose quietly from the sleeping furs. I need to stop this. I can’t continue to think like this about her. I don’t want to control her, I LOVE HER Xena shouted to herself as she went over to check on Argo.
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Gabrielle woke to the smell of fresh meat cooking over the newly stoked fire. "Mmm, that smells good. What did I do to rate a breakfast like this?" Gabrielle said as she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
She gazed then at the weary look on Xena’s face as she sat near the fire. "You had another dream again last night, didn’t you?"
"Yes"
"Please tell me what you have been dreaming about. Maybe I could help." Gabrielle pleaded, then in almost a whisper, she continued, "I need to help, my love."
Xena gazed at her for a moment, not sure if she heard that last part correctly but then was sure that she hadn’t. Shaking off her thought, she said, "I can’t tell you right now Gabrielle. But I do need to find out what is causing these dreams, and soon." Xena then handed the bard a plate of food and sat down next to her to watch her eat.
"Aren’t you having any?" Gabrielle inquired.
"Nope." Is all Xena said as she quickly got up to get Argo ready for the day ahead. Whew, I almost messed that up. One more minute there and Gabrielle would have been all over me with more questions. Xena thought as she absently placed the saddle onto Argo’s back.
Gabrielle watched as Xena picked up the heavy saddle and easily threw it onto Argo’s back. She watched each muscle ripple in her back and shoulders as she flexed to tighten the cinch around the great war horse. By the gods, the power in her body… her strong shoulders and back. The power and strength that I would love to feel used on me, to just take me and make me hers Gabrielle thought, feeling her body reverberate from the desire running through it. How can I think like that about her? I love her, I want her as an equal not as a master over me Gabrielle berated herself as she visibly shook from the thought.
"Are you alright Gabrielle?" Xena asked as she came back to join her friend near the fire and noticed the shiver run through her friend’s body.
"Yes" Gabrielle simply replied but with a strange shortness of breath that she hoped Xena didn’t detect. Not like me to not elaborate. Gabrielle thought to herself.
"Uh uh" Xena said with a quizzical smirk on her face. Mmm, not like Gabrielle to be at a loss for words. And why is she so short of breath? I wonder what she is thinking about Xena smiled as she began to break camp.
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The day was filled with a pounding silence as the two women worked their way through the forest. Each deep in her own thoughts.
They made camp that night in continued silence. Gabrielle was glad for the day to be over with and to have a chance to sleep, to finally rid herself of these thoughts and fantasies about Xena that seemed to capture her every waking moment. She couldn’t explain her desires and certainly not to Xena but they were driving her mad. Why am I thinking like this? I can’t keep spending my days in dreams about Xena, not these kind of dreams anyway.
Each time Xena moved on Argo, each time the muscles in her strong thighs flexed, Gabrielle fantasized about her body being crushed under Xena’s weight. Xena holding her down, controlling her, bringing her to heights of passion with her domination over the bard. She needed Xena to take her, to love her, to make her belong to the warrior.
She needed to sleep though too, to be rid of the pounding in her head and the desire that burned through her body.
As they made camp, Xena dreaded the thought of sleeping. Of dreaming. She needed the rest but did not want to go back to those dreams of her controlling and commanding Gabrielle and the dark desires she was having for the bard.
All day as they moved in silence she remembered her dreams. The power and passion she desired of Gabrielle was getting out of hand. She wondered if the bard felt what she was thinking. Gabrielle had been so quiet and aloof towards her all day.
She couldn’t understand what was bringing on these dreams and now they even invaded her waking moments. Each time Gabrielle would move or bent down to pick a simple flower, Xena could only think about controlling those movements. She wanted to bring Gabrielle to the height of passion. She wanted to take her and to love her and to make the bard desire her. She wanted Gabrielle to be hers and hers alone.
She needed to sleep though too, but to be rid of these dreams in her head as well.
Chapter 4
"You bleed just to know your alive"
Goo Goo Dolls
"Calisto, I want you to follow Perdicus to Athens but be sure he doesn’t know you are there. Watch him close though." Xena said to her trusted commander and sometime lover. "Then, once he has sold the slaves, I want you to kill him. Make sure you bring back all the money though." Xena continued so matter-of-factly.
"As you wish Xena. But may I ask something?" Calisto said as she moved closer to her, wanting to reach out and touch the powerful woman.
"You want to know why I want him dead?" Xena said as she turned away from her, not wanting to be touched by the other warrior, her mind drifting again towards the young girl.
"I want him dead because he will betray me. He wants what is mine and I won’t let him have her." Xena said simply.
‘Her’, why would I say that? Xena wondered as she quickly changed her wording. "I mean, I won’t let him have anything that is mine. Now go and do what I have said!"
"Yes Xena. I understand." Calisto said as she quickly left the tent.
What am I doing? I have to get that woman off my mind. Xena thought as she began looking over her maps. Then flinging them to the floor in frustration, she bolted out of the tent and almost ran right into one of her guards.
"Get that woman!" she screamed at the man as he looked at her with startled eyes wide.
"As you wish Xena, right away." he stammered, almost falling backwards as he quickly ran from anymore possible danger coming from the great warrior.
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"We found her Xena!" the guard said, pulling the girl in behind him as he entered Xena’s tent later that night.
"Ah, so you have. Very good, now tie her to the end of my bed there and leave us alone." Xena said as she watched the girl struggle against the guard.
Xena moved in closer to the girl then slowly let her eyes travel down seductively over her firm young body. "Mmm, very nice. I’m going to have fun with you little one." she said huskily.
"Why are you doing this to me? Why not just sell me like the other slaves?" Gabrielle spat out as she felt Xena’s warm hand softly moving down over her cheek.
Slap.
Xena’s hand came down hard across Gabrielle’s face causing a bright red welt to appear as well as a small tear as it escaped Gabrielle’s eye. "Because you are mine little one and I will not be denied anything, not even you." Then leaning in close she gently licked the tear from the frightened girl’s face.
"Mmm, sweet." She said as she began to let her hands roam freely over Gabrielle’s bound body. She felt the young girl twitch as her hands moved over her breasts, felt the sensitive skin pucker and harden at her touch.
Xena drew her dagger from its sheath between her breasts and watched as the girls eyes grew wide. Lightly pulling the flat side of the sharp blade over the girl’s collar bone, Xena watched as the terror began to grow in those perfect green eyes. She had no intentions of hurting the girl, she just wanted to watch her, to gauge her response. Smiling to herself, Xena drew the blade slowly towards the girls shoulders, slipped it under the straps of her shift. She quickly cut the girl’s shift from her shoulders then watched as it fell to the floor around her ankles.
Gabrielle struggled as she felt her clothing begin to drop away from her but her arms and legs, bound to the wooden bed frame would allow little movement.
Xena enjoyed watching as the girl struggled against her bonds. Then drawing her fingers lazily down over the girl’s chest, Xena noted with a smile when she heard the gasps of desire escape from the girl as her fingers drew over her already hardened nipples. She flicked first one then the other with the tip of her fingernail as she drew more moans of passion from the girl..
"Ah little one, you seem to be enjoying yourself already. I like that, very much. Maybe you will even enjoy everything that I will do to you." The grin coming easily to her face as she bent down to take one of Gabrielle’s nipples not so gently into her mouth as her hand continued it’s assault on her other breast.
Gabrielle moaned loudly as her body began to unwillingly react to Xena’s touches. "Oh please, don’t do this. Don’t do this to me, I beg you." Crying out as she felt a shudder run through her body then enflaming the spot between her legs.
"Oh, but you seem to be enjoying it so much little one." Xena said with an artificial frown on her face as she brought her lips up to those of the girl’s. Brushing them softly over Gabrielle’s, Xena felt her shudder once again and smiled.
"Gabrielle, isn’t it? Well, I have a special gift for you if you will be good." Xena said as she leaned in close to the girl’s ear. Breathing in deep, Xena wanted to know this woman’s scent. She wanted to know everything about her. Her taste, her passions, her desires. She wanted to make them her own.
"The only gift you could give me is freedom." Gabrielle spat out defiantly as she continued to struggle fruitlessly against the ropes and her own growing desires for this warrior.
Xena, gripping the girl’s hair and twining it within her hand, pulled Gabrielle’s head back and looked down into her deep green eyes.
"Oh, but I do have a gift for you Gabrielle. One that I know you will want even more then your own freedom. And all you have to do is be mine."
Gabrielle looked up into her captor’s eyes and again felt a shudder run through her body. Why do I feel this way about this warrior? Why do I seem to desire her, crave her power over me even with what she has done to my family and village? Gabrielle wondered as Xena held her gaze.
But continuing to be defiant, Gabrielle again spoke, "There is nothing that I could want from you and I will never be yours."
"Ah, I see you want to play a game do you? Well let me tell you something little one, if you don’t cooperate with me, I will not give you your gift." Xena said with a singsong to her voice as she began laughing while walking out of the tent.
I’ll just leave her there like that for a while. Maybe that will cool her off. Xena thought as she walked to the mess tent. Eating something wasn’t really on her mind but leaving the young girl bound and naked in her tent for awhile might just make the girl a bit more friendly when she returned. Mmm, and she did seem to be getting rather excited there for a moment Xena thought with a grin as she sat down near the fire.
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Why is she doing this to me? And what could she possibly have for me that I would want more than freedom? Why would she even want me? I am only a peasant girl and she is the mightiest warrior of all time. Gabrielle wondered, as she stood there naked and bound in Xena’s tent. I can’t believe my own reaction to her either. I haven’t been with man nor woman before in my life but this woman, this warrior has done something to me. The passion that has risen in me seems to burn from the inside out. Gabrielle continued to think to herself.
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As soldiers slowly filtered off to their tents and the camp became quiet, Xena walked out and stood in the center of the training grounds. Looking over her encampment, she began to wonder about the desires she had for this girl. I can’t seem to get her off my mind. My thoughts about her have been distracting me. All I can think of is to have her. To take her and make her passions my own. To make her desire me. And to make sure that Perdicus doesn’t get her. He will never take her from me again. Xena thought to herself. And then, realizing what she had thought, What do I mean, ‘again’? I have never seen her before. What am I thinking of? she asked herself, wondering where these thoughts were coming from. But somehow I know that I need her. I need her to love me, as I love her. Xena thought those last words over and over and then with a shudder, What’s wrong with me? I don’t love her! I don’t need anyone! Xena continued to think, as she grew angry with herself over her apparent weakness and the strange thoughts she was having about the girl.
Storming back to her tent she quickly lifted the flap opening, she was intent on demanding submission from the girl when she stopped in her tracks at the doorway. Gabrielle lay slumped over in sleep, her body curled as low as she could against the ropes that held her. Blond hair falling softly over her angelic face as Xena approached quietly. She looked at this young woman, so exhausted from her fruitless attempt at escape over the past few days and decided on a different approach.
Xena’s fingers moved slowly to the girl’s full breasts. Gently rubbing her fingers lightly over the girl’s nipples noting how quickly they became erect. Then pulling and rolling them gently between her fingers and thumbs, Xena heard the sweet sound of low moans escaping from deep within the still sleeping girl.
"Ah, my little one, you are so exciting. I want you always to awaken like this for me." Xena whispered as Gabrielle slowly opened her eyes to look deeply into those perfect azure pools.
"Now, will you cooperate with me or will you force me to persuade you?" Xena said more sternly into Gabrielle’s ear as she leaned over the girl.
The low moans escaping from Gabrielle’s throat were all the answer that Xena needed.
Twisting and pulling gently on Gabrielle’s nipple with one hand, she let her other hand travel farther down the girl’s body. Feeling every ridge of muscle in her abdomen, every shiver of desire that ran through her. Xena wanted to memorize every inch of this woman, to know in detail all the desires that were held within this perfect creature before her .
Her hand sliding now between Gabrielle’s legs, Xena felt the dampness as she pushed her fingers slowly along thewet folds. Gabrielle’s back arched, pushing her lower body towards the warrior giving her more access as another moan escaped her throat.
"Yes little one, you are mine now, truly mine. And you will have the gift that I promised you, your family will go free if you will only stay with me."
"Thank you for sparing my family," Gabrielle panted, "but I need no gift to make me choose to stay with you. I belong with you."
Xena smiled and quietly thanked the gods as her hand slid into heaven.
Chapter 5
"In the dark, see past our eyes
Pursuit of truth no matter where it lies."
Metallica
"Wake up… wake up Xena!" Gabrielle yelled as she gripped her friend’s shoulders and shook her.
"Wha… what is it?" Xena called out as she bolted upright from her sleeping furs, grabbing her sword that lay next to her.
"It’s okay, we’re not in danger. You were just having another dream. Are you alright?" Gabrielle asked as she leaned in closer to Xena, feeling her own heart begin to race as she touched the warrior.
"Yes, little one, I’m okay." Xena said breathlessly, then thought about the way in which she addressed Gabrielle. By the gods, now I’m even talking like I do in my dreams Xena thought as she moved to stand up and then noticed the smile on Gabrielle’s face when she called her "little one".
Gabrielle noted the way in which Xena addressed her and smiled a bit, I think I like that she thought as she stood up along side of Xena.
"Um, yea, I was just having another dream, but I’m okay now Gabrielle, thanks." Xena made sure to emphasize her name this time as a blush rose to her face.
"Mmm, well it is almost dawn now anyway. Maybe we should just get packed up and head out." Gabrielle said as she realized that she already missed being called "little one". I wonder what she was dreaming? Those low moans that escaped from her throat as she slept and that blush in her face is so unlike her. Gabrielle pondered, then smiled as she wished she could hear those moans again.
"Do you know where we are heading? I mean, how are you going to find out what your dreams mean and why they are bothering you so much? Do you have a plan?" Gabrielle asked as she began to break camp.
"No, I don’t know and no, any more questions?" Xena replied as she went over to get Argo.
"Uh uh" Gabrielle mumbled as she put the last of the fire out.
Well, this should be another interesting day Gabrielle thought sarcastically as they headed east down the road as the sun began to rise. I just hope that I can keep my own mind on what’s going on around us, it’s sure that Xena has hers on other things.
By the gods, I have never seen Xena like this before. She seems so distracted, I only hope that we don’t come across any problems today. Gabrielle thought to herself as she walked along side of Xena gripping her staff a bit more firmly, her eyes flicking back and forth over the road ahead.
As they moved down the road, Gabrielle began to wonder why Xena had addressed her as "little one". She liked it, that was for sure. It made her feel, well… cared for. Then the fantasies began again.
Gabrielle couldn’t help but think about being held down by the sheer power of Xena’s strength. She wanted to be over powered by this warrior, to be taken by her. To be shown just how much love Xena had for her.
She couldn’t shake the thoughts and as she continued to daydream, Xena began to move a little bit ahead of her as Gabrielle watched her walk along side of Argo.
The power in her legs is so exciting. I want to be kneeling in front of them, in front of her. To be made to serve her. Ah, but I wouldn’t need to be forced, that’s for sure. I want to serve her, to please her, to make her happy and to love her with all my heart and body, if only she would love me back. I need to feel her power, her strong desires that she hides so well from me. Gabrielle thought as her mind continued to wander sending hot flashes down to the lower areas of her body.
As she played the fantasies over and over in her head she didn’t realize just how far Xena had gone ahead of her.
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Gabrielle suddenly looked up, startled by the sound of a bird as it swooped down in front of her. She was alone. Oh gods, where is Xena and… where am I? Gabrielle wondered, as she became more frightened.
"Xena… Xena!"
She shouted over and over loudly as she looked franticly about the forest and road. Where could she have gone? Why wasn’t I watching where we were going? I know she isn’t concentrating at the moment, I should have been the one to be watching out for us. And now look what I’ve done. I’ve not only gotten lost but I have possibly put us in danger. Gabrielle cried out to herself. And all because of this damned day dream I keep having about her!
"I’m right here Gabrielle." Xena said as she walked out of the bushes. "You were so far behind me that I thought I would take a pit stop while you caught up."
"What has gotten into you lately? Your mind is so far away." Xena said as she smirked at the bard, thinking about the way that Gabrielle’s eyes were so distant and her breathing so shallow and rapid all day. And that flush to her face, ah yes… that beautiful flush. Xena thought with a grin.
Oh gods, how can I tell her about what I have been thinking Gabrielle thought as she felt her face become more flushed.
"Uh uh, never mind Gabrielle. Just keep thinking what you are thinking, the flush in your face looks good." Xena said with a feral grin and an arched brow.
By the gods, now what am I going to say? Gabrielle thought, as the heat traveled down her neck.
"Just don’t worry about it Xena, you had me scared half out of my mind when I couldn’t find you." There, that should hopefully change the subject.
Giggling now, Xena pulled herself up onto Argo and looked back over her shoulder at Gabrielle, "You coming, little one?"
"Ha ha, very funny. We could have been killed you know. You haven’t been quite with it either lately." Gabrielle replied as she followed closely in behind Xena and Argo.
Gods, I hope that whatever we find to cure Xena’s bad dreams also cure my day dreams. Gabrielle thought as she watched the warrior move ahead of her.
Chapter 6
"Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters"
Metallica
As they neared the village Xena finally spoke, "Gabrielle, how about a nice room and a bath?" Thinking that this would help ease the quiet from the day and perhaps even give her a chance to relax and maybe get some sleep, sleep without dreams.
"That would be great Xena. I’ll get us some rooms while you stable Argo." Gabrielle replied as she reached out her hand to get some money from Xena before heading to the inn. She hoped that maybe Xena could get some much-needed sleep and a nice hot bath should help. She also wanted a chance to relax herself, and a chance to get away from the warrior. She had spent the last few days in thought about why she felt so attracted to the darker side of this warrior. Her fantasies about the power and strength of this woman had just about driven her mad through out the last few days and she was in desperate need of some "private time".
"Well, just get one room Gabrielle. We don’t have enough dinars for two." Xena said to her as she reached into the small pouch. I know that’s a lie but I need her close to me. I need to at least feel the softness of her body next to mine. Her gentleness and innocence might help me from dreaming about my darker side. Xena thought as she handed Gabrielle just a few of the coins that they had.
As Gabrielle walked into the inn she couldn’t help but be a bit nervous about laying next to Xena this night, Damn, I wish we could have gotten two rooms. I have thought about her all day and in ways that I never dreamt of before. How can I sleep next to her now! How can I control myself next to her? And I sure could use some time to myself right now.
She paid for the room and told the innkeeper to send up plenty of hot water for a bath as well as a skin of port and some wine. Maybe if I drink enough wine, I will pass out and not have to think about lying next to Xena all night. The port will be a gift for Xena and maybe that will help her to sleep too.
Xena entered the main room of the inn after stabling Argo and thought about getting a skin of port. That might help me sleep but then again, I may not be able to control myself after drinking like that she thought as another smile filled her face.
As she neared the bar, her attention was drawn to an old woman sitting alone in the corner of the room. Xena watched as the old crone strummed her crooked fingers onto the rough wooden table. As she moved closer to the woman, she felt an unexplainable need to talk to her.
"I have seen your dreams warrior, come and sit with me for a bit." The old crone said in a soft and gentle voice as Xena neared her table.
"Do I know you old woman? Xena asked as she sat across from the woman, her body tense, not knowing what to expect from the woman.
"No, you do not know me but I know your dreams. Come, sit and relax, I have many things to tell you." The old crone said as she took Xena’s hand in hers and began looking at her palm.
Xena jerked her hand away then quickly stood up and looked into the yellowing eyes of the woman. "I don’t know you old woman and I don’t want you to tell me any rubbish. I don’t believe in fortune tellers."
"Oh Xena, I am not a fortune teller but I have seen your dreams. The dreams of which you are hiding from. The dreams you can no longer control. The ones about Gabrielle." The crone said softly.
Startled at the thought that this woman knew her name and that of Gabrielle’s and that someone knew her dreams and desires, she sat down again as the crone once again took Xena’s hand in hers.
"How do you know these things old woman? I have never met you and I certainly wouldn’t have told you of my dreams." She didn’t know why she felt the need to speak with this woman but somehow she knew that she must.
"As I have said Xena, I have seen your dreams and those of your friend." The woman said as she drew her crooked finger down the heart line in Xena’s hand. "And I can tell you why you are dreaming of these things and what you can do to be released from their grip on your mind."
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What is taking her so long? Gabrielle wondered as she prepared herself for a bath. Then just as glad to think that at least she would be able to take a bath in private. She didn’t need Xena there watching her. Knowing that the warrior’s eyes would be on her as she slid into the soapy water would drive her over the edge. She thought then of Xena watching her as she drew the sponge down over her breasts… By the gods, what am I thinking? Why can’t I control my thoughts about her? Gabrielle reprimanded herself as she slid into the tub, placing the goblet of wine on the floor beside her.
As she sat down into the hot water, Gabrielle let her head rest back against the edge of the tub then closed her eyes as she began to move the rough sponge over her body. Oh how I wish this was Xena’s hands touching me Gabrielle thought as she absently began to cover her breasts with the warm soapy water. The daydreams I have had of her today are by far the most disturbing and… exciting. Continuing to move the sponge seductively over her body with ever-stronger movements, her mind uncontrollably drifted into thoughts of Xena.
To think of her holding me down, her body pressed hard against mine, to use my body so forcefully yet to be able to bring out the heated passion in me that I have for her… Gabrielle thought. Sliding the warm soapy sponge farther down over her body she moved it slowly between her legs, teasing herself as she continued to think of her warrior. I need to feel her against me. To use me like that. To feel my own desires for her grow as she demands more from me. And I give her what she needs as she fulfills my own desires for her darker passions. Gabrielle continued to imagine the scene as the sponge moved harder between her legs.
Gabrielle’s eyes fluttered as quiet moans escaped from her throat in ever deepening response to her building passion. Her hand moving quickly as her breathing became more shallow and rapid. So caught up in her desires and pleasure she didn’t hear the door creek as it opened.
By the gods, I can almost feel her breath on me now. Eyes closed, Gabrielle played out the scene in her mind and said in a passionate whisper to herself as her hand continued to move, "Xena, I am yours. I need to feel your strength and power over me. Please, show me that you love me."
"I will not be denied any longer Gabrielle. You are mine and I do love you, more then anything." Xena whispered so softly in response into the bard’s ear that Gabrielle didn’t even realize it was really Xena talking and not a part of her dream.
Xena then slid her own hands down into the water, bringing Gabrielle’s hands up in her own.
"Wha… what?" Gabrielle said groggily as she felt her hands being pulled gently out of the water and held tightly together in one of Xena’s.
"By the gods Xena, how long have you been standing there?" Gabrielle asked embarrassingly when she realized that Xena had heard her calling out for her in passion.
"I will not be denied any longer Gabrielle. I must have you, now. I love and need you and can no longer go on with out you in my arms." Xena said quickly as she lowered her face down to Gabrielle’s soft lips not waiting for her responce.
Their lips met in a slow kiss that seemed to last forever. Deepening with each heart beat as they melted into one another, tongues exploring, moans growing louder, desires for each other becoming entwined as they escalated to a peak.
Pulling away slowly, Xena whispered as she looked into Gabrielle’s eyes, "Gabrielle, my dreams have all been about you, about us. About the love and need I have for you. I know now that I suppressed my love for you when you married Perdicus. I just couldn’t stand to see you with anyone else so I tried to control my love for you, to let you live a happy life with someone… safe. I tried to stop my love for you because I didn’t want to frighten you with my passion and strong desires. But the more I tried to suppress my love, the stronger and more aggressive the dreams became. Please, don’t leave me… I love you."
"Oh Xena, I love you and I need you too. I too thought that I should be with Perdicus but that one night I shared with him made me realize that it was you that I truly desired. It is your passions and power that attract me to you Xena, I need to feel those passions you have for me… over me. I will never leave you and I want to know your desires, all of them. I need to be a part of them, to fulfill them for you." Gabrielle said passionately as she realized that it was her own suppression of her desires that had been leaving her with these powerful daydreams.
With a sidelong smile and an arched brow, Xena brought Gabrielle’s hands up farther out of the water and quickly bound them tightly together with a leather thong then swiftly attached it to the pole next to the tub. "Will you let me… express my passions for you, little one?" Xena’s husky voice whispered out to Gabrielle as she looked deeply into green eyes.
"Mmm, yes Xena. I can not deny you anything…" Gabrielle whispered back as she felt Xena’s eyes burn into her own.
The end…