A Rose Among Thorns

"Lets Get go!" Xena shouted to Gabrielle and Joxer "We haven’t got all day! Pack up!"

Gabrielle Rolled her eyes. Why is she always so bossy? We’re already hurrying . . .

Joxer glanced at his true love, she was complaining again! He loved her but this was becoming Ridiculous, she was complaining more and more these days. None the less he still loved her. Oh well he thought things could be worse.

It was almost Cupids day and they had to get to Corinth so Xena could handle some business there. Joxer knew the real reason. They wanted to dump him off at Meg’s for the Holiday. He couldn’t blame them. He wasn’t much fun around Cupid’s Day. It only reminded him about how alone he was and How much Gabrielle Hated him.

As Xena and her friends traveled down the road, she noticed that Gabrielle and Joxer weren’t talking to each other. That’s odd Gabrielle usually can’t wait to talk! Joxer’s always in an upbeat mood! I wonder what’s wrong?

As Xena Contemplated this she came upon a sign next to the road which she quickly read.

Meg’s Tavern

Occupancy

Of course, nothing cheers Joxer up like Meg! Xena thought.

"Hey Guys lets go in. I’m sure Meg Has room for us!" Xena suggested cheerfully.

"Sure," Said Joxer, "I need to get wasted."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon the Trio could see the front door Of Meg’s Tavern and all the Girls started to Come out to greet Joxer.

"Hi Joxer"Said Mary smoothly "I missed you!"

"He’s Mine, Mary!"Screamed Martha to her sister.

As all the Girls Swarmed Joxer a Voice rang out above them all.

"Get away from him you harpies, you know Joxer and I are together!" It was Meg. Sure Joxer Loved Meg but not the way he Loved Gabrielle. Oh Gabby, Why hath you forsaken me? Joxer thought while being grabbed at from all directions. "Oh Joxer! Have you met the New cook? She says she’s related to you . . . a sister or something . . . "

Joxer froze, his sister? Of course, his sister! He hadn’t seen Joxette in Months. Maybe this could give him a happy holiday. Joxer Remembered his sister, Her Curly Red hair, How old would she is now? Fifteen! Wow fifteen! Beginning to receive boys and . . . Well, that’s great! Joxer thought.

"Could you take me to her? We’d really like to catch up, it’s been months since I’ve seen Joxette!"

"Oh wonderful!" Meg dragged Joxer inside to where he saw his little sister.

Joxer’s Mouth dropped. She was fat! "W-w-what happened Joxette?"Joxer stuttered.

"Oh Joxer you’re here!" Joxette couldn’t get her arms around her brother. Joxer Repeated his question.

"What happened to you Joxette?"Joxer was becoming worried.

Joxette looked into her brother’s eyes."I guess the Messenger never got to you! I’ve gotten married! I’m Pregnant!"

Joxer Fainted.

~~~~~~~~

"Joxer? Oh Joxer I didn’t mean to startle you!"Joxette was trying to revive Joxer. Soon he came to be awake.

"Ugh-Ugh . . . PREGNANT?"Joxer screamed "Who? When? Why? I’ll rip him limb from limb!" Joxer was getting out of control.

"Settle down. I got married about three months ago. I’m sure you know him. His name is Autolycus. We met when Jett brought him to the house. We fell in love and Got married."Joxette Patted her round stomach, "and now we’ve got a baby on the way! Three more weeks! Can you believe it?"

Joxer was Reeling. I better find Xena and Gabby. I need to sleep. "What? Autolycus?" He quickly did the math in his head. "Wait a moment. You’re eight months pregnant, and you got married seven months ago?" Joxer questioned his sister’s sanity.

Joxette Blushed "Yes. Well we . . . uh . . . "Joxette couldn’t finish what she had started to say. She was giggling too hard.

"But your only fifteen! Why are you married?" Joxer wanted to push the thought of the baby far from his mind.

"Well I . . . " Joxette started but was interrupted by a Complaining voice heard by the door.

"Well I don’t see why we have to stay! Joxer can stay here for Cupid’s Day celebrations and we Can go onto Corinth." Joxette recognized the voice and Ran to it.

"Gabrielle! I can’t believe you’re here too!" Joxette Hugged her small friend and Saw that Xena was there too."Oh Xena! I can’t wait to tell you my WONDERFUL news!"She hugged Xena tightly and begged them to sit.

Joxer was in a foul mood. "Did you know Joxette got Married?" Joxer was Asking Gabby and Xena.

"No."Replied Xena

Gabby Just blushed. "Ummmm" she gulped "Oh Joxer a message came for you, your sister’s wedding is . . . " Joxer was Infuriated! What’s with Gabby? She’s getting to be such an Air head! Calm down Joxer! She’s the Love of my life. Ok she’s Just tired and needs a party to calm her down.

Joxer Blew into her. "How could you forget something like that? That was going to be the best Day of my life, I was going to Give her away!"

Joxette tried to calm her brother down, "Mom and Dad didn’t come either." She spued the words so quickly that Joxer needed to ponder them over and over.

"Why? Why wasn’t Mom and Dad invited? I don’t understand"

"I didn’t give you the full story . . . Mom didn’t approve of Autolycus. Neither did Dad, but he didn’t have much control from Jail. Mom tried to stop me, but it was too late, I --" Joxette blushed furiously.

"Well?" The Crew seemed to say at once.

"I was already Pregnant by then and well my baby NEEDS to have a father, so we got Married, in the Temple of Hera."Joxette was all grins. She seemed to be happy, but Joxer sensed something was amiss.

Silence fell upon the group.

"I think we better have something to Eat, Joxette." Xena broke the tense Moment. "If there’s anything left."Xena gave Joxette one of her Extra special grins.

"Sure, you know I am a better Cook than Joxer. I heard what Happened when he cooked his raddish stew. Yucky, I couldn’t even stand to smell the stuff, Mom threw it out of the house, she thought it was some sort of poison that Joxer had Learned how to make. No one ate it, even the pigs turned it down!"

Xena and Gabrielle broke out into loud laughter. Joxer just blushed. "So My cooking isn’t perfect, so what?"

Joxette rolled her eyes, went to the kitchen and brought two Lamb stews back for the gals."Hey Bro! Will ya play the Lyre for us? He wrote a song Just for me – what was it called?"Joxette pondered for a moment "oh I remember, Serenade for a sister. Do you remember the word’s Joxer?"

Joxer Blushed again, he hadn’t Played the Lyre in so long! Why is Joxette doing this to me? I can’t believe it, Play the Lyre? With Gabby here? No way! " I can’t seem to remember the words . . . " He trailed off.

"Oh"Gabrielle spoke up "Hey, I heard you singing it in your sleep and I wrote it down. I hope you don’t Mind." Gabrielle pulled A scroll out of her Pack and started to hum the tune.

And at your marriage

Joxer was Sad, the woman he loved was so close, and yet so far away. I picked up the Lyre {his, he left it there, The girls like to strum it and sing the Joxer Song while he’s gone} And Began to tune it. "I’ll sing this song for you, but only once. It doesn’t make sense now that you’re married."

After singing the Song to his sister, Twice he’s a softie, he decided to shove off to bed. It was Just the girls. Joxette sat and Strummed the Lyre. "Gabrielle," Joxette said softly while looking at the lyre "did you know my brother loves you? He’d die if you ever noticed his existence!" Gabrielle looked to her friend for help in this awful rumor.

"It’s true Gabrielle, I told it to you once and I’ll say it again, He’d crawl fifty miles on Broken glass just to sweat in his shadow."Xena Sighed and said "I’m tired, I’m going to bed." And with that went to the room that was always reserved for the warrior princess.

"Goodnight"Gabrielle and Joxette said at once.

"Tell me" Gabrielle sighed "tell me how you knew. I just don’t see what you see." Joxette turned and faced Gabrielle.

"Do you want to hear a song Joxer wrote for you? Its how I found out. Not to mention the looks he gives you!" Joxette began to strum a tune she had learned from her brother.

"Did you like it?"Joxette asked. "He wrote it Just for you. He loves you very much. I’m sure he always will. I need my rest this stomach isn’t easy to carry around!" Joxette giggled. "Oohf!" Joxette said loudly. "I think he kicked! Come feel Gabrielle!" Gabrielle became wary. Seeing Joxette brought back memories of her own pregnancy.

"Hope" Gabby uttered

"What Did you say?"

"Nothing, lemmie feel" Gabrielle moved in closer so she could feel Joxette’s Stomach when another hard kick was felt. "Wow! He sure kicks hard. He’ll be a fast runner!" Gabrielle was all grins "Goodnight Joxette"

"Good night Gabrielle"

~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone was up early. Joxette got up first then Xena and Gabrielle. Joxer was the very last to get up. Why of all people do I have to be in love? Joxer sat down to the table and hit his head on the table several times. "What’s wrong Joxer? You seem down. Are you?" Gabrielle was happy. After a long night of sleep she realized that Joxette and Xena were playing a joke.

"I’m fine"Came a muffled voice "Just a little tired." He got up and sat by the fire. As he warmed himself, he thought of when Aphrodite put a spell on Gabby. "Fond memories" He muttered.

Gabrielle got up and went into the Kitchen. "Love me?" She muttered "Yeah and pigs fly!" She grabbed an apron and helped Joxette cook.

"What’s up? I sense you are having a problem. What is it? Something about Joxer, isn’t it?"

"How did you know?"

"I heard you muttering, but I had ya going for a sec, didn’t I?"

"Yeah . . . I guess."

"Come on, tell me!"

"OH all right . . . " Gabrielle sighed, Joxette was a pretty girl, a lot like herself. I imagine she was skinny once. Her hair was slightly curled, with JUST a tint of red. Like hers, her eyes were blue and green like Gabrielle’s. "I don’t understand Joxer . . . LOVE me? I mean . . . I don’t know. Do I love him back? Or am I just denying the fact so I don’t have to watch him die, Like the others."

"The others?" Joxette said skeptically "whadda mean ‘Others’?"

"Well my intended was murdered. And I was to marry a King and he died. Everyone I love, dies. I don’t want that to happen to Joxer."

"Why? He’s a Just a little thorn in your side! Why don’t you want him to die?" Gabrielle knew the answer.

" Because He’s my friend and I Love him." Gabrielle Startled herself. Love? I’m not in LOVE! AM I?

"There ya are tootsie! Have a Nice day and call me when he Proposes!" Its amazing what Happens when I sit down with other people. I can fix their problems in a flash. Mine just aren’t that simple.

Gabrielle came bounding out of the kitchen and went to the fire place where Joxer was sitting. "Hi Joxer" She gazed into his eyes with newfound love. "How are you?"

"Rotten" He replied "things could be better Gabby."

"Joxer, Can I tell you a secret? You promise I can tell you?"

"Sure Gabby" Joxer thought of what it could be: A present for Xena, a party for Xena, something having to do with Xena.

"I want to be with you till the end of time" Gabrielle Gazed into his Eyes as tear started to well up in Joxer’s eyes.

"This is a joke right? Some prank that you Xena and Joxette put on. Very funny. Hah hah."

Gabrielle shook her head furiously "No Joxer, No Joke, I love you more than life itself. Do you love me Joxer?" he could see the seriousness in her eyes and knew that it was no joke.

"Yes, more than all the money in the world, Gabrielle you’re priceless to me."

"Call me Gabby. Will you do that for me?"

"Yes Gabby I will" Joxer Kissed his one true love, as Meg and her Girls wept uncontrollably.

There was a blue flash of light enlightened the room. "Finally"Came a sugary voice. "And I have to give MAJOR kudos to your sis" Aphrodite appeared before Joxer and Gabrielle. "I hired her on as a Little helper. So . . . now that my number one project in done with, what do I do now?" Aphrodite slouched and pouted slightly. "I know. I’ll bug mom to bless you with LOTS a little kiddies!" Xena rolled her eyes, look at it this way, your not losing a best friend, your gaining luggage. Joxette Came out of the Kitchen at looked at the crew, the tavern owner and her Girls bawling their eyes out, Xena obviously very upset, Aphrodite pouting and jabbing on about how her life had lost all meaning, and Joxer and Gabrielle kissing passionately in front of the fire place.

"What’s wrong with this Picture?" Joxette wondered aloud. Joxette walked over to Aphrodite. "Life isn’t over yet dear. Many others have suffered from neglect. You’re needed elsewhere now."Joxette grinned and Aphrodite smiled back.

"Hey you’re good at this!" Aphrodite admitted "would ya like a life long position?"

"I’ll think on that." Now it was Xena’s turn. "If you love her, Let her go. She’s found her dream man. You still have to find yours, Don’t worry. She’s in good hands."

Xena stared in unbelief. "What? Let Gabrielle go? Never!"

"Its time. She’s not your daughter! And if she was, she would have flown the coop YEARS ago!"Joxette walked over to Joxer. "Shouldn’t you be thanking Aphrodite and me? After all, we did a lot to help you out!"

"Thanks Aphrodite," He got up and hugged his sister tightly "and thank you. I hope your Baby is a saint, Just like you."Joxer sat next to his love.

"And you missy!" Joxette’s tone lightened "Welcome to the family" Joxette walked back to the table and proceeded to dish out Breakfast.

"Not so fast" Aphrodite spoke "what about you? Eight Months pregnant and the Father is missing? No way! Not my little Chickadee! I’ll find him promptly." Aphrodite snapped her Fingers and Autolycus appeared.

"Whoa!" Autolycus remarked "where am I?" He glanced around the room. Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and Meg . . . And Joxette!

"Hi Hon." Joxette was gleaming.

Autolycus’ mouth fell open. "What happened?" He stared at her stomach

"Its our baby!" Autolycus Fainted "why does that always Happen?"A moment passed "honey? Are you all right?" Joxette lightly slapped him.

"Wha – who was it? Hmm? Aaron? He was always trying to get his hands on you! Tell me Joxette I DEMAND an answer!" Joxette began to cry. Aphrodite stepped in for defense for Joxette.

"Its your baby you dorkus! Listen bub! This woman is the Best thing that will EVER happen to you! Lighten up and think a little!" With that Aphrodite disappeared in a flash of Pink light and rose petals.

"Mine?" Autolycus Breathed. "That baby is MINE?"

Joxette stirred at the Kitchen table. "OOHF!" She screamed.

"What is it Joxette?" Joxer ran to his sister’s side.

"I don’t know I – I just don’t know!" She let out another scream

"Contractions" Xena said. "The Baby is coming." For the situation around her, Xena seemed rather cool and unattached.

"Contractions? I still have a while before the baby is supposed to be born!!" Joxette’s Water broke and she let out another blood curdling scream.

"We need to get her to a bed!" Xena said after Joxette’s water broke. "Autolycus and Joxer, help me carry her to room twelve. Meg get some clean rags and Gabrielle . . . " Xena paused "Did you ever deliver a cow when you were at home?"

"Uh – I think so . . . Why?"

"Good" Xena said. "Congratulations, you’re the Midwife!"

"What? Me? Midwife? A human Being is different from a cow Xena! I can’t deliver that baby!"

Joxette cried out again.

"Look you know Labor isn’t paradise, and so Do I, we need to deliver this child! Are you going to help me?"

Gabrielle panicked, Her childbirth experience was hardly normal. Neither was this one. Gabrielle was sure that Aphrodite induced the Labor so Autolycus could be there for his child’s birth. "I can be the midwife." Gabrielle said confidently. "I can do it."

Xena, Joxer and Autolycus took Joxette to room twelve. "Joxette?" Autolycus sighed "I love you very much darling." He softly kissed Joxette on the forehead.

"Honey?" Joxette said sweetly "Could you come closer to me?"Joxette smiled at her Husband.

"I’m here darling."

"Lean toward me, please." Joxette said in a feeble voice. He did so. " I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!"Joxette screamed at Autolycus and punched him in the face. "I feel better now." Joxette sighed. Xena held back her laughter, but Gabrielle couldn’t. "Joxer? Could you take Autolycus out? I don’t want him to see me give birth."

Joxer obediently took Autolycus out of the room.

****

Autolycus paced in front of room number twelve. I want to be in there . . . but Joxette said no. She doesn’t want me to see my baby at birth. A scream rang in Autolycus’ ears.

"Sit down Autolycus, these things take time." Joxer had pulled two chairs in from the tavern.

Autolycus sat. " I can’t wait I HAVE to go in."

"I’ve seen childbirth before, you DON’T want to go in. Trust me."Gabrielle came out of the room. She had blood from her hands to the elbow.

"You have a baby girl."Gabrielle smiled. "Would you like to see her?"

Autolycus Nodded. "How’s Joxette doing?"

Gabrielle just looked back at the door. "Not to well. She . . . she had a few problems."

Autolycus burst into room twelve.

Joxette weakly smiled. "You have a daughter. Isn’t she beautiful?" Autolycus glanced down at the Baby girl.

"She looks like her mother" Autolycus spoke softly. He turned and Looked Gabrielle in the eyes. "Will Joxette be all right?"

"I’m not sure." Gabrielle turned to look at Joxer who was starting to cry.

A flash of pink light entered the room. "So how the Little bundle of Joy doin’?" Aphrodite glance around the room. "Why so glum chums?"

"Joxette will die," Xena predicted. "The birth didn’t go well."

"NO way, I can’t let my Favorite mortal DIE! Well," She said as she sauntered over to Joxette "I know you will live a long life. I’ll be back." Aphrodite disappeared into thin air again.

Joxette spoke "Gabrielle, would you name the baby? I really want you to."

"I guess I can." Gabrielle thought for a moment "Hannah, do you like it?"

"Hannah," Joxette repeated "It’s wonderful."

Hannah cooed.

"I think I’ll rest for a while." Joxette’s eyes fluttered.

Xena, Autolycus and Joxer returned to the main room of the tavern. Gabrielle stayed by her dear friends side. Joxette spoke in a weak voice. "Gabrielle, Do you remember– when I stayed the summer with you? Oh that was fun, you me and Perdicus." She laughed softly "We used to run in the farmer’s fields.... Oh was that fun..." she looked up into Gabrielle’s eyes "He loved you... I’m sorry that he left you." she gasped for air. "Soon right?"

Gabrielle wiped her tears away, "Yes, Soon... Should I get Autolycus?" Joxette shook her head no.

" I have something for you... " Joxette withdrew a small lyre. "Its for you. Joxer made it. He made it for me. Gabrielle, I can’t use it anymore. You must take it, play it with him. Promise" Gabrielle shook her head no. "YES, you must... Gabrielle, It’s yours now."

"You... you aren’t going to die. Joxette, you’re fine, you will live, forever..." She paused "Don’t worry, I’m sure Aphrodite has something up her sleeve." She sighed. Where are you Aphrodite? This girl.... this woman is dying.... Gabrielle thought.

"No It’s my time.... So let me go. The Elysian fields are calling me."She closed her eyes. And took a deep Breath. "I’ll tell Perdicus that you love him, you do right? Good. Take good care of my brother. He loves you, more than life it’s self." With that She died.

Gabrielle ran out of the room sobbing, and fell into Joxer’s arms. She had watched Joxette die. Hannah was her’s and Joxer’s now. "Joxer, She wanted Hannah to be with us." she sobbed. She glanced at Autolycus. "I’m so sorry" Xena just looked blank and surprised. The silence stood. No one broke it, until Joxer spoke.

"Gabrielle?" She shook her head, signaling to Joxer that Joxette was no longer with them. Another long silence only broken by a small baby cry. Autolycus jumped. The miniature sound made them all break their train of thought.

"Joxer? She... She didn’t say anything about the baby." Autolycus smiled grimly.

"I can care for my child." He lowered his head, and looked as if he was crying. He raised his head, and nodded, and picked the child up. "I... I suppose... I’ll just have to teach her to steal." The statement caused laughter to ripple through the room. There was silence once again.

A time passed and Autolycus left with the baby. She was doing well and her father was... coping with his new found father hood. Xena Headed off to Corinth with Argo. And last our two heros headed off to Poteidaia, hand in hand.