Disclaimer: The following story is based upon characters from the television show Xena: Warrior Princess which are wholly owned by others. No copyright violation should be implied.
My thanks to Lawls, and the Tavern Regulars .
This is to the Cairo Kitty, the IGA, and Linda.
My mail is always answered Kamouraskan@yahoo.comUndelivered Mail
I have no idea how I will get this letter to you. Im sure you would come up with some clever idea or plan to arrange for it. Oh, I miss scheming with you so much, Gabby! Even when it didnt always work! :-)
Everything here is still the same. Well, not really, of course. Youre not here.
There is what you might see as some good news. Your leaving seems to have inspired a few others to do the same. Perdicus has told his family that he intends to join the army, so they arent too happy. Neither am I, but I guess I grew out of that crush, because I dont mind TOO much.
Guess who is deciding to leave town as well? (I think that shes jealous that you didnt take her with you, and shes telling everybody shell soon be having adventures just like yours.) She, at least, thinks what youve done is great and she told me that shell find her place just like you have.
So, Seraphin says hi! and says shes sure to meet up with you one of these days.
I still cant believe youve really left. I know that you think that you couldnt stay here. The way things here were, well, you know. But I worry so much that youve left the frypan for the fire.
After you were gone, it seemed like the whole town made a point of telling tales about Xena, about the evil things shes done and how lucky we all were that shed left quickly. I tried not to believe them, I wanted to think that they were all lies. But I still cant believe that you can ever be safe around her.
Gabby. There were some soldiers in town for a few days who fought with her army. I got all my courage together, (and you know how little that is!) and went right up and spoke with them. They told me stories, really terrible stories. About the real pleasure she takes in fighting and killing. And that she goes absolutely berserk if she is betrayed. I am praying to Hestia that you wont be just another victim to her anger some day.
Of course, if there was good news, that means that there is bad.
Things are harder here. Im not going to pretend that I dont get mad at you sometimes for leaving us. But other times I am so envious. Mother and I try to work the extra chores; Father rebuffs any suggestion to hire anybody, and as you might guess, he refuses to even allow us to say your name around him. He is still so angry with you.
I dont know any nice way to tell you this, but to just come out with it. I dont want you to get mad, or feel guilty, because it wasnt your fault.
When your scrolls arrived, we didnt tell Father. Dumb, huh? Because, of course he found out and went into one of his rages. Hes been fine lately, but you know how he lets these things build up inside of him. He was right that hiding them was just like lying to him. I even fought him to keep your scrolls away from him, and I think he was surprised at that from me. Its just that it was so horrible. It wasnt enough for him to simply burn them. He cracked them, and tore them into shreds, one after the other, before tossing them into the stove. It was like he was trying to hurt you again, Gabrielle. Momma still says thats because he loves you so much.
Im hoping that what was on those scrolls wasnt important. Mother and I were so relieved to have some proof that you were alive, so it didnt matter what they were about.
Anyway, Mother pulled me away before I got badly hurt, (so dont be upset) and we hid until it was over. When he left, we found your part of our room was wrecked. Everything that had been yours, all of your poems and drawings, Gabby, he burned them all.
Im so very, very sorry, Sister.
I still have one piece that you wrote. That time? You know which time I mean. Ive hidden it very carefully, and its like having a small piece of you with me. I have always been so proud of and afraid for you but never more than that night. Even after all of the warnings to stop writing, to stop dreaming, I still remember you leaving his room, and saying nothing, just taking your quill and setting it to the parchment. Despite all of the pain you were in. I still see how your eyes were almost burning behind the tears. You never let them defeat you. You may be embarrassed by it now, but Im not.
When others show me a lightning struck, blackened stump, and say there is death
I will see the power of the Gods and the strength of nature unleashed
When others shun the dark of night or rain
I will glory in their absence and dance joyously alone
When others tell me of a child born to a family that cannot feed the mouths they already have
I will believe in a hope that will grow and solve their circumstance
When the academies in Athens debate whether Quality or Beauty is in the thing or in the eye
I will know that there is beauty. Because by my will, I will find beauty there!
Oh, Gabrielle! What will you do when you find something that you cannot will to be beautiful? What will happen to your heart?
I worry about you so much. Are you truly safe now? Someday, maybe we can be together. Until then, know that I love you, and miss you with all my heart, and I will try to think of you as being happy. Despite how hard it is here, you can always come home, it cant be as bad as being with that woman, could it?
Father is coming now, so I will hide this where he wont find it.
I love you love you love you
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