This episode is just one adorable, juicy fan favourite – and for good reason. From (blood) innocent Xena and dark Gabrielle (with more layers than a County Fair onion), to subtext-orama lingering looks, could they possibly have packed any more in?  

The Fates give Xena a wonderful, precious gift here. We’ve probably all wondered how life might have turned out if we’d gone left instead of right at one crossroad or another. And Xena was actually allowed to see first-hand the truth about all those self-loathing assumptions she’s been making and clinging too for years - chiefly, that the world would have been a much better place without the Warrior Princess in it.  

She even lists all her guilty little issues weighing her down:

1. She has shamed her mother.
2. Gabrielle left her family.
3. Her brother died when she led him into battle.

Yes, yes, Xena has put off marrying him twice, but that just proves she has doubts – not the gaping elephant-in-the-room uh-oh conviction she should have by now.  

And for that matter, why is Lyceus close friends with a bloke who thinks going along to get along is the standard operating procedure for life?  

By the way, does Maphias even have a job? He just keeps turning up and hounding Lyceus for news on Xena. Or is that just an excuse to see Lyceus? *grin*.  

Look, dude, get a hobby, get a life, and just pray that one day your brains will be as full and fabulous as your perfect pretty-boy hair.  

And don’t start me on his accent.  

Right. Now then…Enter Gabrielle.  

First – I bow at Renee’s feet. Awesome, awesome, awesome acting job there, girlfriend. That’s one angry, bitter, suspicious, cynical, dead-eyed, unloved slave girl she’s created out of thin air. She hadn’t even opened her mouth and we could see the rage commingled with impotence seeping from her every pore.  

Did they shoot her with minimal make-up, too? Somehow she portrayed a sort of beautiful ugly – a mask of poignant pain to hide her natural sparkle. Gabrielle’s face was a study of contrasts between a desire to fight back vs self-preservation – survival instincts winning every time.  

And she actually managed to convey the loss of esteem and humanity that comes from being stripped of a piece of herself every time she’s bullied or beaten into submission. No wonder she would later question whether to thank or hate Xena for offering her fresh hope. Hope is poison to a slave girl. Physical violence – that she could deal with. 

As for the villains of the piece, bah – who cares that Krykus was played by that same overacting ham Dagnine from the previous episode? Like who could even bother listening to the warlords droning on when Gabrielle’s on the floor getting a dog to lick the bread? Indeed, in every scene Renee was in, I have just one word for her – riveting. Or two words: scene stealer. 

Favourite moments of the episode – well, the best little rug-pull in Amphipolis was up there. Oh, did I do that, my, my… Lucy is terrifically funny at times. But she backed it up brilliantly when her have-no-job-except-stalking-Xena fiancé magically appears, rushes in and tries to convince the thug that they were buying a house slave. The look of furious compliance was genius. Xena so wants desperately to revert back to form and slug the bulbous sod. And yet, in a wonderful rare moment, we actually see Xena showing restraint.  

And what makes this all the harder for her is she knows this is a feeling she’s going to have to get used to. It’s not some lark on a boat with Autolycus, playing a role for a few hours. She realises in that moment that this will be her life. Despite her already whirring through the possibilities in her mind to spring the redhead, she also knows she’s in for the long haul of a Clark Kent existence instead of being the loud, proud and forever unfettered superhero. 

Speaking of superheroes – who couldn’t but help loving Xena literally flying up the chimney? She looked devastatingly gorgeous – but also free. Yes, the superhero pain of hiding your talents is always matched by the freedom when you can exercise them again. She showed her joy at that feeling beautifully. 

I have to give a nod to the music – it was all terrific, with the exception of the melodramatic organ tunes when they are in the prison. Please, it’s been (over)done in so many B-grade schlock flicks before. 

Subtexters obviously were in heaven with all the lingering looks going on between Xena and Gabrielle, all episode long. Xena is desperately trying to convey all that she can without actually sounding insane by telling Gabrielle what happened. So she gives these absolute zinger deep looks. 

And Gabrielle keeps staring at her like she’s trying so hard to understand these looks, which are nothing like anything she’s ever received in her life. It’s like she knows there’s something there, something very important for her to grasp, if she can just fathom what that loopy dark-haired woman is saying. And so she stares back. You can see the warring between her internal doubts and mistrust countered by the open-faced honesty of Xena. Isn’t that a turn around. Usually Xena’s the one hiding her feelings and Gabrielle wears her heart on her sleeve. More points for the actresses and director at that subtlety. 

The classic moment is when Xena admits she’s not thinking of some other friend, but that Gabrielle is the friend. And Gabrielle just sort of nods – as though she’d suspected it, even if she does think the other woman is a little nuts. Who wouldn’t? We even get to see a now trademark single tear, streaking down Xena’s cheek as she says it. Are we sure fanfic writers didn’t pen this episode? Aww. 

All this though is mere icing on the cake – the cake being the moment we all watch this episode for, the moment Xena realises she must change back. And what is it that does it for her?  

Is it the way Lyceus virtually beat her around the head with his mantra that he’d rather die fighting for what he believes in than live with doing nothing? Does she finally realise Lyceus died proudly the first time, in the way he’d always wanted? 

How about Cyrene – does her loss rate even a passing mention for Xena? 

What about an understanding that Xena’s vision of her perfect other life was instead a perfectly manufactured fantasy and all the things she thought would have been better, were just different shades of the same disappointments? 

Nope, none of the above.  

Alright, what about the big one for her – that the world would really have been better off without a killer Warrior Princess? Yet in her alt-world she discovers the Amazons have been enslaved (well that got a frown at least) and sees for herself the proliferation of the slave trade right across the lands.  

And yet she was still willing to live with all that. 

The one thing that did it for her was simply realising, at the moment Gabrielle plunged a knife into her captor, that she had lost her forever and there was no getting her back. The damage had been done. 

Some might think Xena’s issue was just that Gabrielle had killed. No - I think she could have handled Gabrielle killing and lived with it if she felt she could still turn her into the woman she knew. Her issue was not the killing but that Gabrielle did it with so much obvious job satisfaction. There was an emptiness to those glazed eyes and a nastiness to that lip curl as she plunged the weapon in with a huge deal of enjoyment.  

In that split second Xena knew with a sick dread, her Gabrielle was dead. And Xena, no way, no how, could live without her.  

So she says goodbye to Lyceus, and welcomes back her old path – with Gabrielle in it. And seeing our old bright happy Gabrielle again was like swallowing sunshine. The relief for Xena and the relief for the viewers, made for the ultimate feel-good episode.  

And what a sweet little arm-around-shoulder hug she gives Gabrielle. “I’m more myself than ever,” she tells the astonished bard. 
 

Hear hear. Welcome back, Warrior Princess. And bravo.