Parental Advisory Rating: L, AC

Break out those V-Chips, everyone!

Credits:

Created, Produced, Directed and Written:

Fanatic and TNovan

Well, that was truly one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. I crawl back into bed, burrowing as deep as I can, and cover my head with the blankets. I’m not getting up today. I don’t care how much Harper begs.

I know, from my walking baby book, that I can look forward to this for roughly the rest of the first trimester. It’s not going to be a fun six weeks.

"Okay, Baby Roo, it’s time for that chat. I love ya, little one, I really do," I whisper as I caress my stomach, "more than you ever could imagine. But do you think you could take it easy on your old mom up here?"

I feel something join me on the bed. I uncover my head long enough to find Trouble sitting on the edge, giving himself a thorough bath and purring like there’s no tomorrow.

"Well, hello there, fat boy. It’s about time you came to see me. Did you get your salmon this morning, you little traitor?"

His purring intensifies and he turns small circles before he finally nests at the foot of the bed. "Yeah, I know the feeling." I return to my spot tucked under the blankets. I am miserable following the experience of my first bout of morning sickness.

I hear the front door slam downstairs and I listen as she takes the steps two at a time, returning from her run with Papa. I also hear Mama calling from her kitchen.

"Couri pas dans la maison," she scolds.

I uncover my head long enough to call out and do my duty as a future mother. "Yeah, no running in the house, Tabloid." Then I duck back under the covers.

That was a huge mistake. My loving and very playful partner takes it as a sign I want to play and proceeds to jump onto the bed next to me.

"How about jumping up and down on the bed? Is that against the rules?" She continues bouncing on the mattress. I think I’m going to die.

"Stop! Oh, God, Harper, stop! Now!" I know I sound like I’m being attacked, but I have to get her to stop immediately.

She pulls back the blankets from my head, a worried expression on her face. "I’m sorry," she says getting a good look at me. "Kels, you’re really, truly green around the gills."

"Un-huh." I pull the blankets back, the light makes me nauseous. "I have your son or daughter to thank for that." I mutter from my cocoon.

She very slowly peels the blankets back, peering down at me. "It happened, huh?"

"Oh yeah." I nod against my pillow, pressing my face into it.

"Anything I can do?"

I shake my head. "I don’t think so. You can’t carry this child for me, can you?"

She laughs softly. "I’m afraid not, sweetheart. You gonna get up?"

"I don’t think so."

"I know you’re really going to hate this, but it’ll be better if you come down for a little tea and toast."

I can only groan at the thought of food. "Tabloid, you said you didn’t want to tell Mama about the baby until Sunday. If I go down there now, the jig will be up."

"How do you know?"

"She’s given birth five times and has eleven grandchildren. I’m surprised she hasn’t figured it out already. I mean, criminey, I’m already a cup size larger than I was last time we were here."

She gives me a lascivious look. "Si bon!" Her hand moves and covers one of my breasts. "Definitely bigger."

"And temporary, so don’t get too attached to this size, Tabloid. Boobs I can hide under baggy shirts. Puking in the kitchen will be a dead give away."

"So it would. How about I bring you something?"

"That would be very nice." That’s my girl.

"Mama will think I just wore you out from a long night of sex."

I groan. This family is trying to embarrass me to death, I know it.

* * *

I bound downstairs and venture into the kitchen. Mama is, of course, in her domain, working on all the fixings for tomorrow’s Easter celebration. If she only knew how much she’ll be celebrating tomorrow – my engagement, Kels’ pregnancy, Rene’s pregnancy. We have been blessed as a family, that’s for sure.

Tonight’s the night.

I chuckle. I have musicals on the brain. It’s a family tradition, one that I never thought I’d participate in.

Papa took Mama to go see the musical ‘Annie Get Your Gun’ the night he proposed to her. It was only a regional theatre production, but they both said it was magical, even better than the Broadway revival four years later with Ethel Merman reprising her role. They, of course, flew up to New York City to see it.

Ever since that night, it has been Mama’s favorite musical. She sang it around the house when she wasn’t humming French lullabies to the five of us. So, it was only natural that when Gerrard proposed to Katherine he did so using a song from the musical, ‘The Girl That I Marry’. Gerrard has a decent voice, but, more importantly, he has a romantic streak a mile long. His enthusiastic performance sold it more than his singing ability.

Now Jean can’t sing to save his life. So, when it was his time to get engaged, we urged him to make it a duet. We convinced Elaine that our family often had singing nights and had her work on the song ‘Who Do You Love, I Hope’ with Jean. She never suspected a thing.

Robie came next. He chose ‘An Old Fashioned Wedding’, also opting to have his gal sing with him. It was a perfect song, especially given Rene’s rebellious streak. The two of them were precious. Though Ren admitted to me later that she suspected what was going to happen. Robie can’t hide a thing from her.

Lucien was assigned ‘Doin’ What Comes Natur’lly’ when he balked at singing at all. He tried to get out of it by arranging to meet Rachel somewhere else that night. We simply went and picked her up before he got there. Robie and I brought her back to the house where we all waited for him to show up and sing. God, Lucien hated being outwitted, but … it wasn’t that hard, I’m afraid.

The boys had always teased me that I would have to sing ‘You Can’t Get A Man With A Gun’. Until they realized that gun or not, I didn’t want a man. That left only one appropriate song.

I get to sing it tonight, in front of the entire family – Mama, Papa, the boys, their wives and all the kids – and then get on my knee and ask Kels to spend the rest of her life with me.

I don’t think Kels suspects anything. But, then again, other than Rene, Robie and Papa, who I told on our run this morning, no one else knows. The family is already going to be over here tonight, saving me the need to invite them. Rene plays the piano well enough to accompany me. I have the ring safely tucked upstairs in my garment bag, rolled up in a sock, in an interior pocket, enclosed in a plastic bag … just in case Kels should go snooping.

Everything is set.

As long as I don’t die of nerves before tonight.

"Où est Kelsey?" Mama asks not looking up from her work.

Where’s Kelsey? Nice to see you too, Mama. "Bon jour, Mama." I lean down and give her a kiss on the cheek. "C’est une belle journee." It’s going to be a good day.

"You wear that poor girl out again?"

"Mama! C’est assez!" That is more than enough. "Be nice to my girl. You don’t say things like that to Robie or the other boys."

She shrugs. "I never worried about that with them."

I look at her for a long moment, unsure as to how to take that comment. I decide to ignore it. "Mama, will you please not say that around Kels? She’s not used to being in a family quite as … open … as ours."

Mama sighs heavily. "Bon, bon. There’s a tray of beignets already prepared for you two."

"Merci, Mama." I kiss her cheek a second time and grab the tray with the beignets, a bottle of juice, a carafe of tea for Kels and a carafe of coffee for me and head back upstairs.

Tonight, tonight, won’t be just any night.

* * *

I’m glad that my morning sickness seems to be just that, morning sickness. I know, despite its name, it hits whenever it pleases, but mine seems to be limited to morning. By the time Tabloid convinced me to accept the tea and beignets Mama had made, I was ready to get up and face the day.

Mama and I had a delightful time in the kitchen today, preparing dinner for everyone tonight. I love it when the entire conspiracy is over, but it was really nice to have the kitchen and Mama to myself today. It was like having a real mom of my own for a few hours.

We cooked, we talked, and we laughed - stopping immediately whenever Harper or Papa came in. Not that we were talking about them, but it makes them wonder and keeps them in line.

I also learned some of Harper’s favorite foods and got the recipes for them. God, I’m getting so domesticated. It’s almost scary.

The entire family came over for dinner. We have a grand time, like we always do. I notice Harper seems a bit off tonight. She seems really nervous. I think she stressed about telling Mama about the baby tomorrow. It’ll be all right, Tabloid. I won’t let her hurt you.

Harper and I decided that the news would be a fantastic Easter present for Mama. I’m pretty excited about telling the family. It’s nice to know that our baby will be loved and accepted in this wonderful clan.

Robie and Rene are a bit off tonight also but it makes sense because they have to make the same announcement tomorrow. You’d think after Christian and Clark this would be old hat for them, but I guess baby news is just plain big in this family and it doesn’t matter how many you already have.

I watch Harper from across the room as I cuddle Christian. Yup, she’s stressed. She keeps jamming her hands in her pockets and mumbling to herself. She only does that when she’s worked up about something. I can’t help but chuckle a bit. She was afraid I’d blow it to Mama in the kitchen today, but if she’s not careful she’s going to do it in front of everyone tonight.

Christian squirms around and straddles my lap facing me. "Aunt Kels?"

"Yes, little man?"

"I love you."

I wrap him up in my arms and give him a great, big hug. "I love you too, sweetheart."

"I got all the dub-luns."

"I know."

"Thank you for the green one."

"Oh, you’re welcome, sweetheart. You know that’s our little secret, right? You can never tell Tante Harper I gave that to you."

He grins at me, wrinkling his nose and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

Robie starts calling the entire family together into the living room. Wonder what’s up? Yet another Kingsley tradition, no doubt. This family’s got a ton of them and I may never learn them all, but I’m enjoying them.

"Here, Kels, let me take him off your hands, or your lap, as the case may be. I want to see my grandson." Papa holds out his hands for Christian. I can’t wait to see him hold our baby. I’m quick to catch a happy tear with my hand. My child will have grandparents that love it the way my grandparents loved me.

God, Pa, thank you for that. I love you. Miss you.

Christian reluctantly transfers to his Grandpere, leaning over one last time to give me another somewhat sloppy kiss. I laugh as Papa also offers me his hand to help me out of my seat.

"What about the dishes?"

"Ah, darlin’," Papa drawls. God, now I know where Harper gets it. "Don’t you worry about those. We’ll get to those later. That’s why Mama and I had five children. Someone to clean up for us. Come on, let’s go have some fun and dessert."

"In this house? Is there any other way?"

* * *

Robie comes over and claps me on the shoulder. "You ready?" he asks, his tone very big-brotherly.

I nod. My throat is parched. There’s no way I can sing. No damn way. God. What am I going to do?

He presses a glass of water into my hand. "Here. I needed one of these right about now."

I gulp it down in one swig. "Thanks." Good. At least I can speak again.

Robie laughs at my discomfort. "Don’t worry, Harper. It’s gonna be fine. She’s crazy about you. I know it."

I nod, mute. I gotta save my voice for this song. Why did I agree to do this?

Breathe.

In. Out.

"It’s time." He gives me a little shove toward the living room where my future awaits. "You do have the ring, don’t you?"

My heart stops.

My hand slaps my thigh where it rests in the pocket of my jeans. Still there. "Yes," I grit out. "Let’s go."

We step into the living room to find the rest of the family, all twenty of them, not counting Kels yet, waiting for us. I note that Papa has made sure Kels is seated near the piano. Thank you, Papa. I lean against the archway and let Robie play M.C.

"It’s that time again," he begins, smiling at the boys who know exactly what he means instantly. "Time for another family song night." The room bursts out laughing, and several look none too subtly toward Kels. "In keeping with tradition, the baby of the family has to go first. So, without further ado, I give you Harper!"

The boys begin hooting and hollering. Gerrard calls out, "Do something from a musical, Harper Lee."

The kids are bristling with excitement. Several of them are old enough to remember Luc and Robie’s proposals. Keep quiet, kids. I’ll strangle you if you spoil my surprise.

I look over at Kels. She looks completely dumbfounded. She keeps looking around the room trying to figure out the joke she’s clearly not in on. Soon, baby. Very soon you’ll know.

"What’s it going to be, Harper?" Papa calls out, bringing me back to why I’m here.

"I suppose I could do something from ‘Annie Get Your Gun’."

This gives the boys full excuse to stomp, whoop and holler. You’d think they were the biggest group of queens if you didn’t know better.

I clear my throat, walk over and take a glass from Kels’ hand. "I can have that?" I ask, even as I drink the rest of her iced tea. "Thanks."

Rene plays the intro to the song and looks over at me, waiting.

Now or never, Harper. This is why you were born.

More whoops and hollers. Well, I guess it is true. Hence, the entire reason why the boys assigned me this song long ago.

I shrug. That’s true too. It was fun. Unfulfilling and nothing compared to what I have with Kels, though.

God, I swear Irving Berlin knew me when he wrote this.

Boy, ain’t that the truth? Okay, Harper, now focus on Kels. This is her night.

I smile and shrug at the family. I see Christian seated on Papa’s lap. I go over and retrieve him into my arms and sing to him, as if I’m telling him a secret.

Christian, God bless his little heart, makes a tiger sound at that line. It causes all of us in the room to burst out laughing, including me for a fraction of a second.

The little ham performs again.

Stumped him with that one.

And that one too. I pass him over into Robie’s arms. I have a big finale coming up.

I move back in front of Kels.

I hit my knees in front of her. Her eyes widen slightly. I think she’s starting to get clued in.

I reach into my jeans pocket. Yup, the ring is still there. And I even manage to pull it out without dropping it. I hold it up where Kels can get a good look at it. She turns green. Oh, baby, please don’t pass out or puke on me now.

The piano stops playing, the family is cheering all around us, but I barely notice any of it. Instead, I am acutely aware of Kels and everything about her. The chandelier light is flitting through her hair, making it shine. Her eyes are a pale green, like the first blades of grass in spring. Her eyelashes kiss her downy cheeks softly. Overall, she is lovely, truly glowing.

And her mouth is hanging open in shock.

Bring it on home, Harper.

"I love you, Kelsey. And I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. Would you do me that very great honor?"

And I wait.

Who knew that seconds could feel like an eternity?

Why is she crying? Oh, Jesus, I did something wrong. I feel my heart drop to my boots.

I am about to pocket the ring when I hear Kels whisper. "Yes."

I think she just accepted my proposal. "Yes?" I repeat, wanting to be sure here.

Kelsey launches herself out of the chair and tackles me to the floor. "Yes!"

The room explodes with laughter.

Except for Kels and me. I’m too busy kissing her.

Somehow, miraculously, I manage to keep hold of the ring. When we finally break for air, I reach for her left hand. Carefully, I place the ring on her finger, marveling on how it is the perfect fit.

Just like she is mine.

* * *

I can only wonder at the ring. It is the second most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The delight and pride in my partner’s eyes right now being first. Once we escape the grasp of Mama and the rest of the family, Harper ushers me out the back door for a walk.

We’re moving slowly through the garden arm and arm. The night air is heavy with the scent of blooming flowers. Between the scent of the air, the warmth of the body pressed against mine, and the events of the evening, it’s a heady experience.

"So how are you feeling?" Harper asks quietly.

"I’m not sure how to put it into words," I say. It’s surprising since my livelihood is based on being able to put events into words for others. "I’m feeling so much right now. I’m not sure which emotion is actually first in line." I stop our walk and turn to her, tugging her close. "I honestly never expected this. I know it’s perfectly logical, especially in your family. I just never thought about being married, I mean."

She laughs a bit and nods. "Yeah, well, it’s total first for me, too, I assure you."

"I know one thing for sure." I slide my arms around her waist and snuggle close. I’m not sure which scent I like better, hers or the flowers. Oh, hell, I do too. Harper wins hands down.

"What’s that, babe?"

"I am the happiest woman in the world right now and I am very much in love with you."

Her response is to lean down and very, very tenderly kiss me on the lips. It’s one of the most gentle kisses we have ever shared, and it is perfect for the moment, very romantic. She brings her hand to my cheek and I absorb its warmth.

"By the way, you’re only the second happiest woman. You’ve made me the happiest, ma cher. You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted in life and never believed I could have." Her thumb strokes my cheek and she gives me another kiss. "Thank you for loving me."

"We’ve given each other the same gift, Harper, because I feel the same way. God knows, I spent a lot of years looking for it too. Then I found you."

"Glad we didn’t hide from each other."

I laugh a little, remembering those first few months with her. I take her arm and our walk begins again. "No, we were pretty much in each other’s faces from the start. I think it was in the grand scheme of things for two very hard headed people to come together. Who else could handle us?"

"Oh, now don’t you start calling me hard headed, too," she teases, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "That right is reserved for my Mama."

"And your wife," I remind her by wiggling my finger out in front of us. Damn, this thing catches even the slightest light. "I’m going to need armed security for this."

"You do like it, right?"

I stop again, and she pulls me into her arms immediately, assuming I want another kiss. I do, but I have something to say first. "You are joking? Of course, I like it. I love it. It’s beautiful. It’s huge, but it’s beautiful." A devious grin steals over my lips. "How long do you think it’ll take them to notice at work?" I so can’t wait for Langston to get a load of this. Yup, I’m pregnant and getting married to my girlfriend, buddy. Bite me.

"I dunno. If you walk around with your hand out in front of you, probably not long." She puffs up a little bit at the thought of me showing off her ring.

I hold my hand out to catch the moonlight in the diamonds. "Well, you can’t help but want to show it off. So," I wrap my arm around her waist, resuming our stroll, "how long have you been planning this?"

"Hmm, let me see, since the night a certain stork visited me."

"Wow. You do know how to keep a secret."

"This is true. Comes from being raised with four other siblings who were always getting into trouble. Though you have no idea how glad I am it’s done. It was hell ducking you and Langston long enough to get out of the studio to go look at rings."

I slap her stomach. "You rat! That’s where you were all those times I couldn’t find you. And you’d lie when I’d called you! ‘Oh, Kels, I’m off doing some very important research.’ You lying dog, you!"

"Hey, it was important research. The most important research I’ve ever done in my life."

* * *

Easter is another big event in our household. Next to Christmas, it’s the most important religious holiday of the year. Mama and Papa are devout Catholics, though they differ with the church on a few key issues, and early Sunday morning is spent in Mass. We always go on Easter to the sunrise service at Lake Pontchartrain.

Kels isn’t thrilled when I wake her up extremely early in order to go. Baby Roo isn’t either. So Kels and I take turns losing our cookies in the bathroom before we stagger downstairs and join Mama and Papa in the car. I hope Mama assumes we look like hell because we celebrated too much last night.

The service is simple and, to me at least, a pleasant experience. Our family sits together, as one would expect, with all the kids sprinkled among the adults. Christian takes his new favorite place on Kels’ lap. I take Clark. Jean’s five kids abandon their parents – except for Geoffrey who’s too little do so on his own but is scooped up by his Aunt Katherine – and settle on the laps or at the side of their favorite aunt, uncle or grandparent. Gerrard’s four do the same. It’s humorous to watch the musical chairs as we settle down on the folding chairs facing east, overlooking the lake.

The priest leads a brief service focused on the new life one can have through faith. It’s an inspiring message and I understand why my parents enjoy participating in their parish. I also appreciate that he doesn’t routinely inform me or my family that I am bound straight for hell.

After the service, when I introduce Kels as my fiancée, he is genuinely happy to meet her. I’ve met him a few times and he knows Mama and Papa well enough to feel free to tease me a bit about settling down. He then shocks me when he offers to conduct our wedding ceremony.

I wonder what Mama said to him to get him to do that.

I mutter something noncommittal. I haven’t even started to think about our wedding, or whatever it is we’re gonna call it, joining ceremony, commitment ceremony, afternoon barbecue. I just know I want Kels for the rest of my lifetime. And I want her to know that. Anything beyond that is lagniappe, a little extra.

We come back to the house for the feast Mama and the Conspiracy will prepare. But, first, there is the Easter Egg hunt. Last night, after the proposal, the family dyed enough eggs to give Tyson Farms a heart attack for fear of lost product. Papa got up early this morning and hid them all over the backyard. I don’t know how it does that in the dark.

All the kids are running around collecting as many of them as they possibly can. Of course, the grand prize is the golden egg with cash in it. Typically, the money is put into savings right away for the little one, but finding it is always a kick. And Mama always slips the finder a twenty dollar bill to spend immediately.

I watch the antics in the yard with great amusement. Christian brings another egg to Kels and has her put it in the basket he has entrusted her with. It’s too big for him to carry while he searches for eggs. And he can’t leave it out in the yard because his cousins will poach from it.

He used to have me watch it for him.

I’ve been thrown over. But, hell, I don’t blame him.

He’s doing pretty well. He has about ten there so far. For a three year old, not bad. Of course, Robie is out there helping him. For a twenty-eight year old, not very good. I watch my brother beat at the ivy growing along the rear wall of the yard. He calls Christian over and my nephew reaches in for another egg.

Only a couple hundred more to go before this hunt is over.

I walk up behind Kels and slide my arms around her, hugging her to my body, but not taking her away from her guard duties. She leans against me and raises an inquiring eyebrow.

Yeah, it’s time to rock Mama’s world.

I look over and catch Rene’s eye. She goes and retrieves Robie from the yard. Okay, we’re set.

Suck up and bear it. Mama won’t kill me. She wouldn’t want my kid to grow up without me.

I hope.

"Guess ours will be too small to participate next year, huh?" I ask loud enough for Mama to hear. It’s not that hard, she’s only an arm’s length away. I glance over. Yup, she heard.

Kels, for her part, keeps her cool. "Yeah, but there’s always the year after."

Now we wait.

Three … two … one …

"Ain?" Mama asks, her voice low.

What did I say? Oh boy, I have to repeat it. "Just that our baby will be too small next year to hunt for eggs. Unless we have Robie do it for him or her."

Rene, God bless her, takes the hint. "Nope, he won’t be able to do that. He’ll be busy changing our newest one’s diapers. Seems three’s a charm."

Mama’s head swivels around to inspect Rene’s stomach and glare at her son.

"T’a menti," she accuses.

"Mais, non!" both Robie and I reply at the same time. We’re not lying.

"Mais, sa c’est fort quand même." A slow smile spreads across her lips. Telling her about two grandchildren at once on a holy day was a good strategic move. I might live to see my child.

Yes, it is really something. I pat Kels’ stomach. "Mama, mon premier ne’." It seems safe to be excited about it.

"Nos," Kels corrects me, "our firstborn, Tabloid."

"Comment?" This question she directs at Robie. She knows, as talented as I am, I didn’t pull this one off on my own. Of course, she suspects Robie. "Pas faire le fou."

I laugh. Don’t play the fool. Let’s see how he handles this question.

"Mama, I shouldn’t have to explain it to you of all people."

She slaps his arm. And then begins laughing. Laughing so hard I’m afraid she’s gonna hurt something.

"Mama?"

She’s hysterical. Doubled over. Tears are streaming down her cheeks.

"Mama?" I touch her back.

Gerrard and Katherine are hurrying over, afraid something is desperately wrong. "What happened?" Gerrard asks. "Papa!"

I watch in horror as all my siblings are soon gathered around us. Papa pushes his way into the melee, handing Geoffrey to Elaine as he passes her. "Cecile?"

"Jonathan," she manages to gasp out, calming down somewhat. She straightens up and smiles. "Harper is going to make you a grandpere again."

"I am not!" I protest as everyone stares at my stomach. "Kelsey is!"

"And so is Rene," Kels adds, swiftly diverting attention from her midsection as well.

"And I thought all the bunnies were out in the yard today," Gerrard mutters.

And we’re all doubled over.

* * *

I glance out the kitchen window while putting a few things down the garbage disposal. Harper is out back with the kids and her brothers. She’s got Clark in a snuggle pack, all cuddled up against her. God, I can’t wait to see her with our baby. I laugh when I realize I may never see my child after it’s born. I’ll never be able to pry him or her out of Harper’s arms. I’m going to have to breastfeed just so I can hold our baby. And even then I may have to wrestle it away from her.

"Kelsey come on over here and join us!" Katherine calls from the table, patting my seat. "It’s that time."

I shake my head a bit. They want the scoop on everything. There are simply no secrets in this family. My eyes fall on Rachel. Well, maybe one. But I bet the boys told their wives what was said at the poker game. Mama is probably the only one in the dark still.

I turn around and lean against the counter, crossing my arms across my chest. Damn, they’re sore. I uncross my arms and the entire table bursts out laughing at me.

"All right knock it off!" I mutter, crossing the room. "Or you get nothing out of me this trip."

"Un-huh, sure." Rene smirks as I take my seat and pour myself a glass of juice.

"Rene, sister, dear," I take hold of her hand and fix on her an evil grin, "hush, or I’ll tell them all about Mardi Gras." I sweep my hand around the table. I end my comment with a little laugh that leaves her blushing.

Oh I’m learning. Maybe I wasn’t the only one feeling something on the dance floor.

"Mardi Gras!" Elaine pipes up. "I think we all know what happened during Mardi Gras. You all got drunk and got pregnant."

"I was perfectly sober," I defend, sipping my juice. "As you might suspect, with Harper and I, this was something best done with all brain synapses functional. Plus, one of us had to drive to the doctor’s office the next morning."

"Oh God, I wasn’t," Rene groans, her forehead hitting the table.

This sends the table into another round of laughter. Mama rubs her back soothingly. "It’s all right, sweetheart. I seem to remember being in the same situation when Robie was conceived."

I nearly choke on my juice. I’m accustomed to all of us joking and discussing our sex lives while Mama sits back and listens quietly, shaking her head from time to time, occasionally offering advice. I’m not accustomed to her actually getting in on the conversation on a firsthand basis.

Mama turns to me while I’m wiping my mouth with a napkin. "Qui n’a?" She lifts her brow and leans toward me.

What's the matter? She has to ask? I feel the blush creeping up on me already.

"Would you like to know where Harper was conceived?"

The entire table bursts out laughing. I drop my forehead against my fist. "If you must," I mutter then look up with a grin. This might be interesting fodder to torment Harper with. Poor dear.

I realize I’m in trouble when a wicked gleam enters her eyes. "In that nice comfortable bed you two are sleeping in."

Oh God. I laugh out loud knowing Tabloid would need to peel her skin from her own body if she knew that.

"We broke two of the supports on that bed that night." The entire room simply howls with laughter with that revelation. "Umm-hmm." Mama nods. "That’s a great bed."

I’ve known that all along.

"Let’s see," Mama taps her chin with her spoon, "Gerrard came along after a rather interesting encounter Papa and I had at the state fair."

"Outside?" It’s Katherine’s turn to be shocked.

"You think you kids invented sex outdoors?"

Mama is in truly wicked form today.

"Jean was …" She lowers her head and shakes it back and forth a bit before she looks to Elaine. "Jean was conceived in the back seat of the car on the way home from Atlanta." She smiles. "It had been a long drive. We needed to stretch." Mama shrugs nonchalantly. Poor Elaine looks like she is going to slide under the table.

Rachel won’t even look up, she’s already blushing. "You know this might explain Luc’s disposition. He came about at home, in our own bed, in the missionary position." She nods like that explains everything. "We didn’t give that child a sense of adventure."

God, that comment makes me wonder exactly what they did in or on our bed. Harper definitely has a sense of adventure and Mama and Papa damn near broke the bed. It’s no wonder she’s the way she is.

I wonder what our baby will be like.

* * *

I am sitting on the porch, snuggling with the sleeping Clark. The Conspiracy has kidnapped my girl. The kids are out playing in the yard. I am happy to skip the egg toss this year. Robie pelted me something awful last time.

"You’re gonna have a little cousin soon, buddy. You’re not going to be the baby of the family for long. Especially not with your Papa around. No telling how many brothers and sisters you’ll end up with."

"Ew, don’t scare him at such an early age," Lucien says, sitting in the chair beside me.

"Hey, Luc." I kiss Clark’s dark hair. "How are you?"

"Pretty good." He clasps his hands together and stares at them. We sit together in silence for a few long moments. "Congratulations, Harper. You must be excited."

I can’t contain my smile. "Yeah, quite a bit."

"I was a jackass."

I shrug. "It happens to all of us at times." I give him a frank stare. "Lord knows, I’ve spent most of my adult life being one."

"Well, you’ve pulled your shit together, that’s for sure, Harper."

"Don’t swear around Kelsey. She’ll fine you a buck a word."

"You must be bankrupt by now."

"Da …" Whoops. Almost. I only owe you fifty cents for that one, Kels. "Very close." I hear a round of laughter drift out from the kitchen. I wonder what they’re talking about. As if I can’t guess. "Luc, don’t hurt Rachel like that again. You ever have a problem with me, you take it out on me. Not on her. She’s a great lady. And, for some unknown reason, she loves you."

"I know." He leans over and kisses my cheek. "Happy Easter, Harper."

* * *

With dinner well on its way to being complete, Mama sends Rene and I to rest. Boy, does she remember what it’s like to be pregnant. Rene is already out cold in one of the other guest rooms and I’m settled down in our room. I must admit I’m finding it a little difficult to sleep in this bed now. God, I hope I can keep a straight face when Harper and I go to bed tonight.

A soft knock on the door gets my attention. I look up to find Rachel peeking in. Oh shit.

"Kelsey? Umm, can I come in?"

I prop myself up against the headboard and wave her in. "Absolutely."

She takes a step inside then pauses. "Mind if I close the door?"

Oh shit, this can’t be good. I’m betting we’re about to discuss the thing with Luc and Harper … and her and Harper. I don’t know if I want to hear about that. Especially not right now.

"Yeah, feel free."

"Thanks." She does so and takes a seat near the bed. It occurs to me it’s the same chair that Harper sat in after that poker game. "Kelsey, I want to apologize to you for any trouble Luc’s little outburst at the game might have caused you and Harper."

I pat the bed inviting her to join me over here as I pull my legs up under me. "Rach, it didn’t cause us any problems."

She lifts a brow, genuinely surprised. "Really?"

"Really. How could I be mad at Harper for something that happened when I didn’t even know her? You guys dated in college. No big deal."

She seems relieved and lets loose a heavy sigh. "Thank God. I was afraid…" She takes me up on my invitation to join me on the bed. She studies her clasped hands. "I was afraid maybe you’d be mad at her for not telling you. I mean, I assume you didn’t know before."

"No. She was keeping a promise to you. That was very important to her."

Rachel smiles at me. "One of her best qualities is her loyalty."

"That’s one of them," I agree readily with a grin. Ooh, probably better not to go there given the situation.

"Congratulations, by the way. You must be thrilled. Engaged and pregnant."

"Oh, yeah, I think the year 2000 is gonna be good to me, if this is any indication."

"You deserve it."

"I don’t know if I deserve it, but I’m enjoying it."

"You must be living life right. Luc and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year now and…" Her hand comes up, catching a tear before it falls.

Oh God. I scoot over closer to her. I’m a bit unsure what to do next. I opt for simply resting my hand on her back. I don’t know how much to tell her about the things Harper told me about the game. But I know one thing for sure. Lucien Kingsley is lying through his teeth to his brothers and his sister.

"Hey," I rub small circles on her back. "Harper and I had to do a lot of reading and research on getting pregnant and everything we read said it can take a long time to conceive."

She nods, trying not to break down. "I know, but I’m really starting to lose hope. I went to my doctor and he said I’m fine. He said there’s no medical reason why I shouldn’t be able to get pregnant."

"Has Luc gone to get tested?"

"No. He’s a stubborn cuss. He says if his brothers can produce eleven children between them then he most certainly should be able to make one." She finishes with a little laugh but she clearly is anything but amused. "Hell, now even you and Harper have managed to do it."

I feel really bad for Rach, but once again I’m not sure what to say. I try, "Rachel, if there’s anything Harper or I can do for you, you know you can call us any time."

"Thanks. I’ve wanted to a couple of times, you know, just to talk. Harper and I have always been able to talk about everything. Sometimes being this close to the family all the time isn’t a good thing. But since my husband opened his big mouth, I didn’t want to cause trouble between you two."

"Never. And if you ever want to call, do it. I don’t care what time of the day or night it is."

She looks over at me with a smile. "You know, Harper is a very lucky lady. I’m glad she found you. She deserves the best."

* * *

I watch her sleep. She’s lying on her stomach, keeping me from wrapping myself around her and laying my hand over her stomach. I like doing that. I feel so connected to her and the baby when we sleep like that.

Her left hand is curled up in a loose fist near her face. I wonder if this is what our little one will look like, a tiny version of her. Without the diamond ring, of course. If we have a girl, she can’t get one of those for a long time. A very long time. When she’s thirty or so. I hold back the chuckle, not wanting to disturb her peaceful sleep.

I’m very proud of Kels. Not only for the way survived her ordeal, but by the way she continues to handle it. She’s been good about going to her appointments with her new therapist. Dr. Sherwin and I haven’t talked much yet, but she had a short session with me earlier this week. Apparently, everything Kels is going through is pretty common. When someone is recovering from a trauma like hers, it takes time for the victim to open up, especially to those they are close to.

Dr. Sherwin assured me Kels is opening up to her and that I have been doing well by being patient and supportive. Who knew I was doing that? I just haven’t known how to make it better, so I’ve kept my mouth shut and listened. I gotta remember this technique.

Kels rolls over onto her left side. She sighs softly.

So do I.

But that’s because she takes my breath away.

* * *

There are some good leftovers waiting for me in the fridge, I know it. I watched Mama put that pecan pie in there. With my brothers all living in their own homes, it is mine, all mine.

"C’est ici," Mama says when I step into the kitchen.

I look over to find her at her table eating a piece of my pie and drinking a glass of milk. Yes, it is over there. Mama is wearing the same robe I’ve seen her wear since I was a kid. Papa bought it for her when he was in Hong Kong for the first time. "Do you ever sleep?" I ask, rubbing my face. I’m only awake because Kels is getting up every twenty minutes to go pee. I hope this is just a very temporary phase.

"I have to stay awake to keep up with everything that goes on in this family." She picks up a knife on the table and cuts a slice of pie for me. "Come on over and sit a spell."

I obey. Mama and I have always specialized in late night heart-to-heart talks. Besides, when I left Kels, she had already fallen back asleep.

"You’re growing up on me, Harper Lee. Big steps – bringing home a girl, introducing her to the family, falling in love, proposing to her, starting a family. Mind you, not in quite the right order, but good enough." Then she proceeds to pour me a glass of milk. That’s my Mama, always taking care of me, even when she’s giving me grief.

"Mama," I warn. I take a bite of the pie. Oh Sweet Jesus, this is so good.

"The Committee will be so excited when I tell them the news. Mon Dieu! We will have such a turnout! So many of our members have been hoping you would do something like this. Now, unfortunately, there is no way the archbishop will allow us to use St. Louis Cathedral. Such a pity because we should use the wedding to highlight the need for legislation here like they passed in Vermont."

"No," I say in between bites.

"Excuse me?"

"No, Mama. This is not a project for your committee. In fact, I don’t know what type of ceremony we’ll have but it’s going to be very small and very private."

"Harper," she reaches out and covers my hand with hers, "this is an important event. One that needs to be celebrated, as much as the state will allow."

I fight to keep my temper in check. "It will be celebrated, but I am not a cause, Mama. I will not let Kels be one either."

"Mon Coeur, how can you say such a thing!"

"From the moment I came out, you’ve been on the bandwagon. You have a damn rainbow bumper sticker on your car, you joined this committee, you got elected chairperson. I am your very own gay child. I conveniently fit in with your anti-capital punishment, environmental-protecting, gun-controlling, church-state-separating, and pro-public school worldview." I push the plate away, I’m not hungry anymore. "You know, especially for such a significant moment in my life, I would prefer to just be your daughter, and not your gay daughter."

"Harper …"

"No! Listen, Kels and I are in a precarious position up in New York. We negotiated a good deal where the studio can know about us, but, we’re history if word gets out in the mainstream about our relationship. Pregnant lesbians are not ratings-grabbers. And producers who marry pregnant, lesbian anchors have a very short career lifespan. This is a family secret, Mama. Not even your committee can know about us."

"Attitudes will never change as long as couples like you stay hidden."

"Dammit, Mama! No! I will not risk Kelsey in any way, shape or form. If you don’t agree with me, at least respect that."

"I didn’t know you felt that way," Mama says softly, very subdued.

"About what?" My indignation is still not burned off yet. "About me being a token in a family that opposes tokenism? Or about me wanting to protect the woman I love? Or me being tired of being treated as different when I keep getting told I’m not. So which is it?"

"It’s not like that, Harper."

"Really? Well, it sure feels like it."

"You’re special, that’s all."

I snort. "Great. Thanks, but I can do without it. I just want to be me. I want to be known not because I love women, but because I love Kels and our kid and this family. I’d like to be appreciated as a kick ass producer for a hit news magazine in New York City. I would prefer to be more than the sum of my sexuality."

"You are, baby. But, I can’t help being the sum of my motherhood."

"Huh?" I feel some anger drain out of my body at her soft words.

"It doesn’t matter how old your children are, mon Coeur, you always want to protect them."

I take a drink of my milk. "You joined the committee to protect me?"

"Well, the state sure as hell wasn’t going to do it, Harper. Your Papa and I have been so happy together for almost forty years. We’ve had five beautiful children, eleven grandchildren, two more on the way, and who knows how many more. Jonathan and I have been through illnesses together, family emergencies, parent-teacher conferences, and so much more. The thought that my baby girl can’t experience all of that makes me so mad."

"And a bit insane."

She laughs. "And a bit insane."

"It’s needs to be a nice, quiet ceremony, Mama. Just the family, very informal, and very soon."

"It sounds beautiful."

"And I’m not wearing a dress."

She gives me a reproving look but acquiesces. "Of course not," she says finally, "it’s an informal event."

"I love you, Mama."

"I love you too, mon Coeur."

<fade out>

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