Parental Advisory Rating: L, N, AC

Break out those V-Chips, everyone!

Credits:

Created, Produced, Directed and Written:

Fanatic and TNovan

I don’t know why I agreed to this today. We’re scheduled to fly down to New Orleans in a few hours, but Kels arranged for us to interview a potential nanny this morning. We have looked at scores of applications and this was on the only one we could even remotely see bringing in to meet. Especially after last week. Kels is still a bit irked over that.

Sitting on our living room couch is a very sweet looking twenty-something. She’s wearing a conservative dress and her makeup is understated. We’re doing good so far.

Kels is seated next to me, holding the application and referring to it as she runs through a series of questions she and I have scripted earlier. "Describe for us your prior experience in working with two young children at the same time." Kels has already disclosed we’re having twins.

She smiles readily. "I grew up in a very large family in the Midwest. I am the oldest of ten children, in fact. And two of my siblings are twins and three are triplets. Since my mother was pregnant most of the time, I was in charge of child care." All right. Still doing well. "Needless to say, I am not intimidated by large families. In fact, two is a pretty small one to me."

See, it pays to be selective in who we interview. Wading through all those applications was worth it.

"Do you have any questions for us about your responsibilities?"

"I was wondering if I would be able to have Saturday mornings off?" She smoothes out the bottom of her dress. "I used to have a real weight problem and I still go to Weight Watchers meetings at that time."

Great. That means we can continue with No Clothes Saturday mornings after the twins are born. "I don’t see a problem with that," I say readily, my libido doing the answering.

"And, I also have Sundays off, right?"

Kels and I have decided that we want us to be a family during the weekends, so other than a little help on Saturday afternoon – shopping and such – we don’t plan on utilizing our nanny much. "Yes," Kels replies.

"Good. That should work."

Hmm. I wonder what exactly that means. "That should work how?"

"Sundays are pretty busy days for me. It starts in the morning with my Al Anon meeting. Then I have a lunch with my Women Who Love Too Much group. In the evening, I have CODA."

"CODA?"

"Co-Dependents Anonymous."

I wonder at the wisdom of having weekly meetings for people who are co-dependent. "Are there any others?"

"Once a month I go to the MADD meeting."

"Are you a mother?" I blurt out, unable to help myself.

She frowns. "You don’t need to be a mother to join it." Our applicant pauses and thinks through her schedule for a few moments. "Oh, and every two weeks I go to a Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus mixer at Tavern on the Green."

Okay, we can wrap this interview up right now. I prefer someone who doesn’t need quite as many support groups.

Or I might need one.

* * *

"Oh," I groan as I lay back on the table. It brings Harper over immediately.

"Kels?" She takes my hand, gripping it so tightly it hurts worse than the twinge in my side.

I smile at my poor, stressed partner, patting her hand so she’ll ease up. "Everything is fine, Harper. Just a little pain."

Kels, what a stupid thing to say. You would think a reporter would know better.

"Pain? What kind of pain? Do I need to go find…"

"Tabloid, relax. Everything is fine, I swear to you. I’m not sick anymore. It’s only a little pain in my side."

"And perfectly normal," Kevin assures her as her comes through the door. He must have heard the last part of the conversation. He takes his seat, flipping open my file. "Since I won’t see you until after: happy birthday, Kelsey."

"Thanks." At least, I’m not alone and miserable this year. As a matter of fact, this is the happiest I’ve been since I spent time with my grandparents as a child.

"Wow!" He smiles, taking the cloth tape measure out of his pocket. "Look at you. You really started filling out."

"Ah, doctor PC language for ‘You got fat,’" I tease through my laughter.

"You, my dear," he takes his measurements, "are not fat, not by any stretch of the imagination. You a perfectly healthy woman who is carrying two perfectly healthy babies."

"Yeah, but I look six months pregnant and I’m only a little over four."

He lays the tape across his lap turning to me. "And let me tell you it’s only gonna get worse before it gets better." McGuire gives me a grin and it’s a good thing I know he’s joking. "But think about what you get in return. It’s all going to be worth it."

"Of that, I have no doubt." I wink at Harper who is sitting there smiling. I know she’s enjoying the fact that Kevin can say things to me I’d smack her for.

Once again my exam is done quickly and efficiently and it’s time to move on to Harper’s favorite part. I can always feel her leaning forward waiting for him to explain what we’re seeing.

"Well, look there," he pauses, and glances at Harper.

Finally, my darling spouse breaks. "What?"

I know that’s what Kevin was waiting for. I don’t know what kind of joy he gets from teasing Harper, but he does it every time we come.

"One of them is sucking its thumb."

"No shit? Where?" Without even looking at me she pulls out her wallet and hands me a dollar. Kevin shakes his head in amusement and points to the screen.

"Right there." He runs his finger over the screen. "See there’s the arm and the hand, the thumb is in the mouth.

"That’s incredible."

"Yeah, at this stage they’re finding things to play with."

"Huh? Like what?" She looks at me and snickers, patting my belly. "You got a Frisbee in there, hon? Maybe that explains…"

"Watch it, Tabloid. You won’t be able to find a ladder tall enough to ever get you out of the hole you’d be digging yourself by finishing that sentence."

Kevin chuckles. "No, but they’re discovering their hands and feet and the umbilical cord. They play with those things. Have you felt them move yet, Harper?"

She sighs and shakes her head. "Not yet."

"Well, you will, very soon, I would think. They are very active. If not this week, I’m betting next week for sure."

"I hope so. It’s really hard waiting." Her pout is an exact imitation of Christian’s. What am I going to do when there are three of them living in my house who can make that face?

"You think so now." He cleans my stomach up and proceeds to print out Harper’s pictures. "You wait until you can’t sleep because they’re kicking you in the back."

"I guess." She tries to give me a little smile. I feel so bad for her. "It’s kinda hard being left out. But as long as they’re fine and Kels is okay, I can be patient."

I snort. Since when? Patient is not a word used to describe my spouse. I don’t care how much money is offered. She looks down at me, her brows coming together. I give her a little shrug and a sweet smile.

"Hang in there, Harper. I promise you it won’t be much longer. But if it makes you feel any better, I felt the very same way when my wife was pregnant with our daughter. I know you’re feeling left out. You’re also bumming because you don’t feel like you’re involved enough, but, very soon, Kels is going to be depending on you for more things. Those babies will be moving around like crazy and you’ll get see and feel them do it." He gives me a tap on the leg. "You, Madam, can get dressed." Good. My favorite words in any exam.

He once again speaks to Harper, humor coloring his voice. "She may, of course, kill you for answering some question that has no right answer the wrong way. Let me warn ya, pal, from one supportive spouse to another, as the pregnancy progresses, learn to nod and say ‘Yes, Dear.’"

"I’ve already got the nod down," she informs him with a proud little smirk.

"Really? Lemme see it." He leans back and folds his arm over his chest, looking like a judge at the Olympics.

"Hey…" I lift my hand trying to get their attention. I want to get dressed here, fellas. You can talk about nodding heads all you want after I’m off the table and decent. I am completely ignored, however, as Kevin appreciatively watches my loving wife’s ability to nod her head. By tricking her into this conversation, he’s also gotten her in big trouble. She just doesn’t know it yet. But she will soon.

Kevin leads her further astray. "You’re going to want to stiffen your neck a little bit more, otherwise you’ll get an ache between your shoulder blades…"

"All right, that’s it!" I pipe up. "Get out, so I can get dressed."

He smiles at me and winks. "I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Have a nice holiday."

"Thanks, doc." Harper hands me my clothes and I point to the door. "You too, Tabloid. Get out while I get dressed."

"Aww Kels…" She just clued in that something is wrong.

"Out. You’re already in trouble. Don’t make it worse." As they leave, I listen to this exchange:

Harper mumbles, "What did I do wrong?"

"You just wait ‘til she gets mad at you for breathing wrong."

"How will I know I’m doing it wrong?"

"You won’t."

"Then how will I know when to stop?"

"She’ll tell you." He claps Harper on the back. "And if you’ve got a brain in your head, you’ll stop. You stop breathing until she tells you it’s okay to start again or until you pass out, whichever comes first."

* * *

I haven’t had a birthday like this since I was a kid, one that I’m actually enjoying. The family is gathering at our home. Our home. Harper’s and mine. One of these days we’re going to be able to move here and raise our children. Then they will have a home, complete with two parents who love them.

Harper earlier showed me exactly where in the backyard she plans on putting the swing set. This was, of course, after she showed Kam where his doghouse was going to go. I came in third, behind the children and the dog, when she showed me where we could put a swing or a hammock for us. It was a joy to watch her bounce around the yard, showing me the ‘exact’ spot for everything. Guess the backyard is going to be her domain, like it is for Papa at the family home.

Hmmm, that means I can start a Conspiracy of my own. Even if Harper and I don’t manage to have more children, since we live next door to Robie and Rene, I’ll just invite Christian and Clark’s spouses into it.

I have to chuckle when I think about that. Harper has informed me she thinks Christian is going to be gay because of his attraction to me. It almost makes me laugh again. The way she said it was so priceless, as if I cause men to be gay or something. At first, I was slightly insulted, then I realized how silly it sounded. It struck me so funny, I laughed like an idiot for twenty minutes, tears streaming down my cheeks. Harper wasn’t nearly as amused and she thought I had lost my mind, I’m sure.

So now I have been ordered to sit, relax and do nothing. I can do that. After the last couple of weeks at work, and the scare we had with my getting sick, relaxing seems like the thing to do.

I watch the activity from my spot at the picnic table. I’m almost overwhelmed at the thought this is all for me. If it weren't for the delighted squeals and giggles that distract me when Christian and Clark are turned loose in the yard and begin to chase Kam, I would be. The dog is bouncing around them and they seem to be playing tag. The dog is having a ball and so are the boys.

If I had any doubt about how Kam would be with children, they are gone forever as I watch Clark roll all over him. He merely wags his tail and tries to get in a few licks at the toddler who is hugging him around the neck. This sends Clark into another rounds of giggles.

Speaking of being hugged around the neck, I feel an arm slide around my shoulder while another one reaches around handing me a glass of lemonade. Harper settles in behind me. "Hi ya, beautiful," she whispers in my ear, giving it a little kiss that sends shivers down my spine.

"Smooth talker." I relax into her, sipping my drink. Picnic benches are not made with back support for pregnant women in mind.

Her hands slide over stomach. I know what she’s looking for. She’s hoping to feel the babies move. Every day their movements get stronger, and I know it won’t be too much longer. "Very soon," I whisper, craning my neck to give her a kiss on the cheek as consolation. Not what she wanted, but she smiles and nods.

"Do you two ever stop touching each other?" Rene teases, scooping up Clark, causing him to giggle more. She settles across from us and begins stripping Clark’s shirt off him. "Good Lord, Clark Kingsley, what do you have on this thing? What have you gotten into today?"

Clark brings his small hands up and places them on Rene’s cheeks, pulling their faces together. "Ma…ma…ma." He giggles when she gives him a kiss on the nose. I can’t wait to see our babies play with Harper like that. And to hear them call her ‘Mama’ for the first time.

Wonder what they’ll call me? Please, dear God, don’t let it be ‘Mother.’

"Let me," Harper says, reaching across the table. "I need the practice." Rene turns Clark toward Harper, letting him crawl across the table to Harper’s waiting hands. Harper picks him up and sniffs, then laughs. "Oh, Rene, you let me walk into that one, didn’t you?"

She tosses the fresh shirt and diaper at Harper with a laugh of her own. "Go for it. You need the practice."

"All right, little guy, let’s go freshen you up a bit, before you stink everyone out." She stands, tickling his tummy, causing him to wiggle and clutch at her shirt.

"Remember to keep him covered or you’ll get a shower you weren’t planning on," Rene calls.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she mumbles, taking him toward the house.

"Happy birthday, Kels," Rene says once we're alone. "Are you havingfun yet?"

"Thanks. I’m having a great day." Now I get to tease Rene. For some reason I love doing this. I guess it’s because I never had a sister before and I really do feel like she is one to me. "Harper let me sleep in this morning. Then she brought me breakfast in bed: country omelet, fresh fruit, fresh squeezed orange juice," I fill her in on the menu.

Rene sticks out her tongue. "Brat," she mumbles.

"And then …"

"Okay, okay, I get it, you’re spoiled. No need to rub it in to those of us who have to use guilt to get everything."

"Oh, I use that from time to time too," I laugh, sipping my drink.

"So what did Madam Wonderful get you for your birthday?" Rene leans her elbows on the table.

"Actually, something you and I can both have fun with, if you want."

Rene doesn’t say anything she simply bursts out laughing.

It takes me a moment before I get it. I drop my head into my arms on the table. "God save me from the minds of you people." I take a deep breath and look up into the face of my still laughing sister-in-law. "She hired a decorator to work with me on the house. I thought we could call her over tomorrow afternoon while Harper and Robie take the kids to the circus." I can see all sorts of replies written on Rene's face. I shake my finger at her. "Don’t, just don’t."

Once she gets the laughter under control, she nods. "All right, Kels, I think that we can do that. We'll make a day of it. We have that appointment in the morning with my o.b. so you can meet him. Maybe we’ll get in a little shopping too."

"Now that sounds like a plan. I have my eye on -"

"Some other toy you want to get Harper." She drops her head and groans. "I’m never going to survive the competition between Harper and Robie when you finally settle here. He and the boys have already decided they need a puppy like Tante Harper and Aunt Kels have. So, not only am I having another baby, but I’m getting a puppy too." She looks at me, shaking her head. "Thanks so very much."

"Oh, you’re welcome. I’ll make sure Harper gives Robie the name of the breeder we got Kam from." I torment her further, lifting my glass in toast to her. I could also have Harper give Robie the name of the store where we get our best toys. Rene wants competition, I’ll show her competition. I almost snort my drink through my nose at this thought. Nah, she really wouldn’t survive. We play to win.

I notice Luc and Rachel arrive. They’re holding hands even if they are walking a small distance apart. "How are they doing?"

Rene glances back. "They’re trying, but there’s something holding them back. I don’t know if it’s Luc’s stubborn streak or Rach feeling sorry for herself right now, but it’s definitely been interesting around here."

* * *

We finally get the kids settled in the car. This is quite the procedure. There are a multitude of straps, belts, webbing and roll bars that need to surround the precious cargo. Clark is almost one year old and full of personality. Where Christian is shy and sweet, favoring Rene’s side of the family, Clark is all boy. He’s plumped out and already resembles a little linebacker. Tulane is gonna love this kid. I kiss his hair then lean across him to do the same to Christian.

"Harper, we don’t have all day," Robie chastises, teasingly.

"Mais, non!" I reply, not moving from tickling Christian. "I always have time to play with my favorite nephews." I feel one of Clark’s sticky hands grip onto my side. Maybe it is time to get going. I climb out of the backseat of the Grand Cherokee and move around to the passenger door. I lift up my polo shirt and twist to inspect what was deposited on my side.

Robie laughs. "Clarkie nailed you, eh?"

I rub off the unknown substance and then wipe it on the leg of my denim shorts. "What was that?"

"I’m sure we don’t want to know. Come on, the circus isn’t going to wait for us to start."

We’re off to see the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus at the Cajundome in Lafayette. Christian has been so excited about this Rene told me he couldn’t sleep last night. I hope he makes it through the performance.

"Are we gonna see clowns, Papa?" he asks from the backseat.

"Mais, oui! Lots of them."

"And … and … people on tripeezes … tripzeens … traps …" he stumbles over the hard word.

"Trapezes," Robie provides.

"And will there be fants?"

I look to my brother for interpretation.

Clark breaks in before Robie can reply. "Fa … Fa … Fa …"

Their father begins laughing. "Yes, there will be elephants."

"Dumbo!" Christian cries out. He claps his hands and looks over at his little brother. Clark is fired up at the prospect of seeing Dumbo as well.

I can’t wait for the twins to arrive. I didn’t tell Kels yet, but I’ve already been buying every Disney film I can get my hands on. And I signed them up for a book club. Soon, the entire Dr. Seuss collection will be arriving. I plan on spoiling them rotten.

The boys content in the backseat, we turn down the highway toward the circus. "How’s Kels doing?"

This subject is one I can get excited about. "She gave me a scare last week, caught a bug of some sort and was running a fever and cramping. I was scared right out of my mind. But, she’s doing better now. And the doctor is really pleased. She’s been taking good care of herself and the twins are growing like weeds."

"She looks great."

I must concur. "Yes, she does. Though I think she’s a bit annoyed that Rene isn’t really showing at all yet."

"Well, Ren isn’t having twins. You know, Harper, you tend to always be a bit over the top. I mean, you couldn’t start with one?"

"Robie, Robie, Robie, let me assure you that anything worth doing with Kels is worth doing more than once."

I watch as Robie turns beet red.

I can’t help it, it’s true.

* * *

I never fail to be impressed by the togetherness of the Kingsley clan. Suddenly, it hits me that I am now an official card-carrying member of it, having received my new identification papers earlier this week. I have a new driver’s license to prove it and the photo even looks good. My name change is complete. I am now Kelsey Diane Stanton Kingsley.

It’s the fourth of July and the family is here in force. I note that Gerrard and Katherine’s oldest son, Joseph, has brought a date to the barbecue. The handsome teenage football player is apparently quite the catch at his junior high school. The girl he brought here is very cute. I wonder how I’ll handle it when the twins start dating.

Or, God help me, how Harper will handle it. The mere thought makes me shiver. She’ll probably make potential dates fill out an application so she can do a background check, check references, run a credit report. And that’s if she already likes them and is in a good mood.

The Kitchen Conspiracy is almost in full attendance. Lucien and Rachel are running a bit late. I feel guilty, but I am almost relieved to not be around them at the moment. It’s a holiday and there’s a lot of beer around and Luc is an obnoxious drunk I discovered. Also, Harper told me about her talk with Rachel. I can understand Rachel’s sadness at her poor choice, but it does make me feel a bit uncomfortable around her. I mean, to bring that up at our wedding reception seems a bit out of line.

I can’t blame her, really. I am so glad I am not in her situation. Harper can be infuriating at times, but she’s never been less than truthful with me.

"So, how was the honeymoon?" Elaine asks, leaning forward, eagerly awaiting details.

I sigh dramatically and lean back in my chair. It’s well known that this is my spot since I am sitting where Harper’s name and mine are in the mosaic. I allow my finger to trace over her name just like it traced over her skin when we were tucked away on our little Parisian boat. "Paris is beautiful in the springtime." With a slight wave of my hand, I offer a grin the Cheshire Cat would envy.

Cackles all around. "Kelsey, you can tell us. In fact, we look to you and Harper for inspiration."

I give her a disbelieving look. "Elaine, you already have five children, how much more inspiration do you and Jean need?"

We all laugh again.

We suddenly hear a bunch of yelling in the backyard. In one collective maternal pack, we all rush to the porch. Eleven grandchildren, four Kingsley siblings and Papa can get into a world of trouble when left to their own devices for too long.

A couple of neighborhood kids have stopped by and are lighting up sparklers. Jean has picked up little Geoffrey and moved him from where the fireworks are raining down a shower of sparks. Gerrard is busy taking them from the children and stamping them out on the pavement.

"Sorry, boys, no fireworks allowed over here." Gerrard looks over at all of us. He waves us back inside. "Everything is all right. Nothing to worry about."

"Geoffrey?" Elaine calls.

Jean hoists the toddler up on his shoulders. "He’s fine, Lainey." He bounces up and down causing a delighted giggle from his boy. Geoffrey’s hands go into his father’s hair and he pulls on it like the reins of a horse.

Mollified, we wander back into the kitchen. After pouring a cup of tea, I ask, "So why no sparklers? They were always my favorite thing on the fourth of July."

Mama shakes her head. "Mais, non! Those are dangerous things, ma petit. More injuries happen every year due to sparklers than any other firework."

Katherine shrugs. "We don’t allow any around the children. That’s why we go to the city’s firework show every year. When Gerrard was in private practice, he represented the family of a kid who lost a hand because of fireworks."

"That’s awful." I feel sick. I don’t even want to imagine something like that happening to our babies.

"So, ever since then, we’ve been a fireworks free zone."

I can understand that. Better safe than sorry.

* * *

I don’t know for sure what’s cooking over there on that grill but it smells really

good. I look down at my stomach and run my hand over it. "You two are rotten, you know that? You got a lot of your Mama in you, don’t you?" Brother donation or not, there’s more than 25 percent of Harper in these two. I can tell already.

Rene brings me a glass of soda water with a twist of lime. I look at her and her mostly flat stomach. "I hate you," I tease.

She cocks a brow at me. "Is it my fault you happened to release two eggs at the right time?"

"Yes." I give her a nudge. "This is all your fault."

"Please explain that to me." She crosses her arms.

"You and Robie are the ones who left us to our own devices last Thanksgiving so, you see, this entire thing is all your fault." I sip my water.

"It was the best mistake I ever made. Hindsight being twenty-twenty, I’d do it again in a heartbeat." She wraps her arm around my shoulders and gives me a hug. "You are exactly what she needed." Rene and I share a laugh before I notice Rachel headed my way. I stiffen and Rene feels it too. "You want me to stay?"

"No. We need to talk."

"If you need…"

I shake my head. "I’ll be okay."

Rene moves away from me. Rachel watches her go and looks back at me. "Can we talk or would you rather tell me off now?"

I take a deep breath and take a moment to compose myself before speaking. I feel like I’m on camera. Right now, Rachel doesn’t deserve anything less from me than professional. If I let it get personal, there will be big problems. "Rac, I know that you and Luc are having serious marital problems and I’m really sorry about that. I truly am. I know what it’s like to be miserable in your private life and I can sympathize with you. What you both need is a good counselor."

She nods. "I know. We have, at least, talked about that."

"Good." I take a deep breath and try to do this as tactfully as possible. "There is one thing I want us to be perfectly clear on, Rachel. I hope you and Luc work things out. I do. God, there’s nothing worse than ending a relationship and I know you love him. But, if you break up, I want you to completely understand that Harper is not available to offer you comfort of any kind except that of a married sister." I take a step forward and lay my hand on her arm, whispering in her ear. "If you even so much as think..."

"Kelsey, I swear to you, no matter what happens between Luc and me, I would never try to get between you and Harper. I promise. I promise."

She leaves me and goes to the house to recompose herself. I feel bad having reduced her to tears, but I didn’t want any doubt to remain. I won’t let my marriage fall apart because hers is.

* * *

Papa and I are in charge of one of the grills. We are doing the burgers and hot dogs and are surrounded by hungry children. Jean’s twins, Thomas and Caitlin, have taken to eating hot dogs raw, much to Elaine’s distress. Papa keeps slipping little bits of the dogs to them, retaining his favorite grandfather status. As if it were ever in doubt.

"I saw Kelsey and Rachel have a talk," Papa says as he flips one of the burgers. Hmm, I missed that. I give dad a look, urging him to continue his story. "Rachel seemed a bit upset afterwards, went into the house crying. I think Mama is with her right now." Well, that’s the best person for the job. "Kels seemed upset as well but stayed outside."

"Where’s Kels now?"

Dad indicates with his head to where Robie and Rene are seated at a picnic table. Kels is with them and the three are laughing about something. I guess she’s doing better now. "They’ve been taking good care of her," he says, reading my mind. "Lucien and I are having dinner this week," Dad says. "Your mother and I have always maintained a no interference rule," I snort but stop when he raises the spatula in my direction, "but I think your brother needs a bit of guidance here. We do a lot of talk before and during, but, after you kids make a decision we have tried our best to let you live your lives. Even that damn Kitchen Conspiracy Mama rules roost over is more for them to have a place to belong in the family than anything else. She remembers what it was like marrying into the Kingsleys. They were not thrilled to have a Cajun from the bayou joining our respectable New Orleans family."

I knew that even as a child. We were always closer to Mama’s family than Papa’s.

"So, since I am in an advice-giving mode, I will give my youngest a few more words of it."

Guess that’s me. "I always want your input. I hope to have half as successful a family as you, Papa."

He laughs. "Well, baby girl, you’re almost there with two on the way. Here’s one of my secrets: in my nearly forty years of marriage, I have never once given your mother a cause for jealousy. A lot of men enjoy doing so, it makes them feel in control. I think it’s stupid and demeaning to the woman they supposedly love. With your past, there’s a lot of potential for Kels to feel that way. Especially with Rachel in the family."

Oh shit. Papa knows. "I …"

"So, you need to make sure she knows you will be faithful to her. Never give her any reason to doubt you. It will allow her to be gracious with Rachel who is trying to find her way in this world. I hope to God that she chooses to stay with Luc. But, for their marriage to survive, they’re going to need the love and support of all of us. Your wife won’t be able to give it if she has any silent reservations about you."

"But, isn’t part of it up to Rachel as well? I mean, I can’t control the impression she gives to Kels."

Papa looks me dead in the eye. Apparently, I am supposed to be taking responsibility here and not ducking it. "You can influence your wife, Harper Lee. I expect you to."

"Yes, sir."

He reaches over and rubs my shoulder. "I believe in you, baby girl. More than you will ever know." He pauses and scratches his chin. "Well, maybe once those babies are born you’re have a clue."

* * *

I grab my bottle of beer and head over to where Lucien is sitting in the shade. I note that he's still nursing his first beer of the day. I am glad for his restraint. I'd hate to have Kam make lunch out of him. "How are things going, Luc?"

He shrugs, eyeing me a bit warily. It saddens me because I've always had good relationships with all my brothers. "It's hotter than hell out here."

"C'est vrai. It's Louisiana and it's July." I study him out of the corner of my eye. He seems to have aged appreciably in the last couple months, a touch of gray at the temples, a few more lines on his face than I remember. Luc was always the fun one in our family, which is saying something considering the rest of us. Naturally charming and gifted with a quick wit, he was the popular class clown, but never the family clown. I've met enough comics to know they are not always the happiest people in the world. "How are things at work?"

He wipes the sweat off the neck of his bottle. "Pretty good. Been working on some interesting policy issues. I've been appointed by the governor to head up a committee looking at the welfare reform initiatives in the state."

"Mama and Papa must be ecstatic, Luc." Though they have Gerrard on the bench, Jean and Robie have pursued private law careers, not quite becoming the social activists our parents had envisioned. Only Luc went into the public sector.

"I haven't told them yet," he admits, more to his bottle than to me.

"What? Why not?"

He shrugs again, reminding me of his adolescent self when he was all long limbs and no coordination. "Just didn't seem like the right time. Not with everything else going on."

I reach over and cuff him on the shoulder. "Espèces de tête dure!" It's nice to be able to call someone else hard-headed for once. "Snap out of it, Luc, or we're gonna be getting engraved invitations made up for your pity party."

"Fuck you."

"Good, glad to see you have a little fight left in you." I take another drag of my beer. "Remember when you were first dating Rachel and you took her to the Aquarium? You two went to their walrus show and that huge, old walrus was up there on stage and decided that he had had enough that day."

Luc chuckles. "Damn thing came and sprayed us all with a ton of water and then he went up one of the sets of stairs to the main hallway and got into an elevator."

"I would have loved to have seen their expressions when he got out on the other floor."

"Mais oui. We stunk like fish after his little spray bath. I had to buy us new shorts and T-shirts there so we wouldn't continue to offend."

I nod, remember how Mama just threw out the clothes he brought home to be cleaned. "You and Rachel always seemed to have a lot of fun together. Lord knows, you had enough dating misadventures and we were always laughing about the latest exploit. She was the first girl you seemed to really have fun with. I remember thinking how good you two were for one another."

"Well, we see how much you know."

"No, we see that you're forgetting to court your wife, Luc."

He makes an exaggerated show of looking at his watch. "Hey, you've been married for all of a month. I guess that makes you some sort of expert now."

I don't rise to the bait. "More of an expert than two months ago, that's for damn sure. And, more than ten months ago. I swear, I didn't know the first thing about dating prior to Kels. I was just out fuckin' around, too scared to make a commitment to anyone, certain I was going to crash and burn any relationship I got into. That's something you got figured out long before me. You got smart fast when you met Rachel."

"Didn’t want to let her get away." Lucien's tone is wistful, like a man speaking of a long time ago.

"Why not?"

"We laughed together. It was like we were the only ones in on the big joke."

"What changed?"

"Life doesn't seem that funny anymore. Or, maybe, I just became the joke."

Come on, Lucien. "I don't think you're a joke, Luc. We're all trying to find our way. You're no different than the rest of us." I slap his shoulder. "Though, it's always good to have a best friend with you when you're going through a time like this and Rachel’s always been yours." I drain the rest of my beer and lift up my bottle. "Want another?"

He waves off my offer. "No, thanks." He pushes himself up to his feet and nods his goodbye. I watch as he wanders over to where Rachel is sitting with Elaine and our niece Caitlin. When he bends down and kisses Rachel’s cheek, I let out a sigh of relief.

* * *

The sound of bottlecaps and other illegal fireworks fill the evening air. Our family is apparently alone in its resistance to purchasing and setting them off. It’s still another hour or so until the fireworks over the river. The day is finally cooling down, but the humidity is still pretty high. I wonder how my girl is holding up.

I go over to her and slide my arms around her, hugging her against me, despite the heat. It’ll never be too warm to hold her. "Hi, chér. How’s my favorite girl?"

She squeezes my arms and leans back into me. "Better now."

"Good." I have a taste of her neck. "I love you."

Kels chuckles and tilts her head to look at me. "Well, that’s good to know."

I’m being patronized, I can tell. But, I am gonna do what my Papa told me to do. "You absolutely take my breath away, Kels. There is no one in this world for me, but you."

She laughs softly. "Yeah, you say that now, Tabloid, but I know when these babies get here, you’ll forget all about me."

"That could never happen. You are engraved on my heart."

Kels turns around in my arms and studies me carefully for a moment. "Okay, what has gotten into you? You haven’t forgotten any major date in our life and you’re not in trouble for anything. What’s up?"

"Nothing. Just happy." That’s mostly true.

It works. Kels snuggles in close to me and lays her head over my heart. "Good. I’m glad I make you so happy."

"That you do, chér, that you do."

Okay, that went pretty well. I think I need to work on being a bit more subtle, but, hell, I’ve never been good at subtle.

After a long moment, Kels directs my attention over to a nearby patch of grass where Kam, Christian and Clark are all playing together. Christian is trying to balance Clark on Kam’s back as if he were a pony. I shake my head. Someone is gonna get hurt that way.

"No, no, no, Christian," Rene calls, hurrying over. "Clark is too small for that still, sweetheart." She carefully removes the toddler from Kam’s back.

Clark lets out a wail of protest and tries to clutch at Kam’s fur. Our dog is smart, though, and ducks below his hands then races over to where the bigger kids are playing.

Kels and I chuckle. Rene walks over with Clark, kissing his chubby cheek. "It’s all right, little man, let’s find your Papa and you can pull his hair."

A round of firecrackers go off on the other side of the fence causing my nephew to flinch and begin crying at the loud noise. He turns watery blue eyes on his mama, his breath coming in hiccups. Rene scowls in our neighbor’s direction. "Every year they do this. Last year, it scared Caitlin so badly, Elaine had to take her inside. I wish they would stop it." She presses a kiss to Clark’s dark hair.

I am about to reply, but am preemptively drowned out by the whine of new firecrackers being set off. We watch streaks of light travel up into the darkening sky, but one takes a detour.

And lands in our yard. Not ten feet from where Christian is now playing.

"Shit!" I mutter, already disengaging myself from Kels’ embrace.

Christian’s attention is captured by the dud. He begins walking over to take a look at it.

"Christian! No!" I call out, trying to get him to stop where he is. Either he doesn’t hear me or doesn’t pay attention. It’s hard to compete with something like that.

I can hear Rene and Kels calling to him behind me, but I don’t slow down. "Robie!" I yell to my brother who is not much further away from Christian than I am.

Everything is going in slow motion now. I can hear my own heartbeat and the hiss of the unexploded firework. Christian pauses briefly to look at me before reaching out for the bottle rocket.

I grab the lid off the barbecue as I close in on Christian. When I arrive at his side, I scoop him up in one arm and toss him to his father who is closing in. Robie catches him and retreats to safety.

I turn to drop the lid over the firework when a terrific explosion fills my eyes and ears. And the world goes black around me.

* * *

The first thing I am aware of is I am crying. It’s odd. I don’t cry very often but tears are streaming out of my eyes. So many, in fact, that I can’t see.

Doesn’t really matter though. My eyes and face feel like they’re on fire. I try to reach up to brush off whatever is burning me, but I gasp in pain. My wrist is bent awkwardly and won’t do what I want it to do. Guess I landed wrong.

That’s gonna hurt like a son of a bitch.

I flutter my eyelids and try to focus on the world around me. "Christian?" I ask, my throat hurting from the smoke.

I guess it wasn’t a dud after all.

I think I’m gonna sleep for a few minutes.

* * *

It all happens so fast. I am happy and content in Harper’s arms, as usual, when suddenly she pushes me away. At first, I don’t understand what the problem is, until I see it:

An unexploded firework in the yard right next to Christian.

Oh my God.

Please God, don’t let this be happening. Not today. Not Christian.

Not Harper.

My darling spouse is running full speed toward our nephew, calling for him, calling for Robie. Within moments, she lifts him up and throws him through the air into Robie’s waiting arms. She turns to throw a lid over the firework when it explodes.

All of us in the yard flinch and duck as the terrifyingly loud explosion rips through the air. Rene turns her back, protecting Clark from the debris flying around us. I shield my face briefly, afraid to take my eyes of Harper lest I lose her.

She staggers and falls down, landing awkwardly.

And then chaos reigns.

* * *

I am at Harper’s side in seconds. I stifle a cry as I see the damage done to her beautiful face. Ignoring the blood, which coats her skin and hair, I gently lift her head up and slide my legs under her, cradling her in my lap.

She moans and tries to reach for her face. She stops, however, and hugs her wrist against her stomach. It looks broken. I remember what my wrist looked like when it was broken earlier this year. Harper’s is a mirror image. It’s not funny but I stifle a laugh when I realize I’ll have to keep her from beating herself with her cast. Why do you think strange things when you’re in the middle of a crisis?

The sound of her groaning brings me back into focus. I look down at her again. I feel the tears in my eyes but I push them back and refuse to let them fall. She doesn’t need that right now.

Oh baby. I stroke her hair, afraid to cause her any more harm. Her face is pitted with debris from the bottle rocket, the gunpowder burned into her skin in patches. What concerns me most is the blood pouring out of her right eye. So much blood.

Please, God, let everything be all right. We’re just starting out. We have two babies on the way. We have so much to live for now. Please don’t take her away.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. "She’s going to be fine," Robie whispers, his voice thick with emotion.

"Papa, what’s wrong with Tante Harper?" Christian asks.

"Let me take him in the house," Rene offers and she leaves with the two boys.

"Ambulance is on its way!" Jean shouts across the yard. I can hear lots of activity around us. The kids are being hustled inside, all of Harper’s family are doing something to help out.

Katherine kneels beside me. "Kels, I need you to help me."

Help. Help Harper. That I can do. "How?"

"Eye injuries are worse when they aren't treated immediately. We need to flush out her eyes, get out whatever is in them."

I nod. There’s so much blood. I want it washed away.

"Here’s how to hold open her eyes." Katherine quickly demonstrates. As I follow her instruction, she hands a bottle of water to Robie. "Pour it slowly over her right eye, I’ll do the left."

The moment the water hits her eyes, Harper begins thrashing.

"Gerrard!" Katherine calls out. Immediately, large hands are on Harper’s hips, holding her still. Her eldest brother begins whispering in French, reminding her of a time when they were children and she was pushed out of the tree house. She broke her arm that day.

"Hurts," Harper protests, breaking my heart. "Burning."

"I know it hurts, baby, but try to relax and let Robie and Katherine help you." It takes all my willpower to keep my hands where they are. I don’t want to cause her any more pain. But, I trust Katherine with Harper’s life. "Okay? Just relax. I’ve got you. I’ve got you."

"Kels?" Harper asks, almost uncertain. "Christian?"

"Christian’s fine, sweetheart." I bend over and press a kiss to her hair, tasting her blood on my lips. "He’s inside with Rene. He didn’t get hurt. You saved him."

Robie tosses aside the bottle of water and accepts another one put in his hand by Lucien. He begins pouring it immediately, following Katherine’s example as she opens a new bottle as well. Harper twitches under the onslaught. "Can’t see."

I feel my heart leap to my throat. Please God, let it be the water that’s keeping her from seeing. I cough softly, to jumpstart my voice once again. "It’s gonna be all right, sweetheart. You’re gonna be fine."

Sirens blare as the ambulance arrives in front of the house. I hear Papa directing the paramedics around back. Hurry!

"Help is here, baby."

The first paramedic takes in the scene quickly and looks to one of us for an explanation. Katherine begins rattling off a series of medical terms I don’t care to understand. I am grateful when I am no longer required to hold Harper’s eyes open, the medical personnel taking over.

I immediately begin stroking her hair, desperate to remain in contact with her and not bringing her any more pain. I continue to murmur nonsense phrases, promising her everything will be all right. It will be all right. It has to be all right.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. It’s Robie. "They need to move her, Kels."

Well, they’re moving us, not just her. I move only as far away as I need to for them to load Harper on the stretcher. We all begin moving to the front, my hand slipping into Harper’s as we do so. I feel her fingers tighten around mine and it brings tears to my eyes.

They load her in efficiently and I start to climb in the back. "Ma’am, I can’t allow you to come," the first paramedic says even as he closes one of the doors. I nearly scream with rage. I don’t need a homophobic, ignorant jackass in my life at this moment. I open my mouth to launch an attack when he holds up a hand. "Ma’am, you’re pregnant. We’ll be running lights and siren. I can’t allow you in a situation where you might get hurt."

That takes the wind out of my sails immediately. With Harper injured, I will do nothing to hurt our children. Even if I can’t be with her for a few minutes. I spin around and see Robie behind me. I grab him and push him toward the open door. "Take her brother then. You tell her I’m right behind you," I instruct Robie.

He jumps inside and nods. "I will."

Mama is at my side as the ambulance pulls away from the sidewalk. "Ma petit, come with me. Papa has the car brought around."

I head straight for it, willing myself to be strong with every step.

Harper needs me.

That is enough.

<to be continued>

<fade out>

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