Parental Advisory Rating: L, N, AC

Break out those V-Chips, everyone!

Credits:

Created, Produced, Directed and Written:

Fanatic and TNovan

Papa drives quickly to the hospital, only a few minutes behind the ambulance. I can tell he’s being careful because of my condition. I want him to hurry, but I couldn’t handle it if something were to happen to our twins right now.

When we do reach the hospital, I run into the emergency entrance as quickly as I can. The nurse at the reception counter jumps to her feet when I arrive. "Harper Kingsley was just brought in. How is she?"

"Ma’am, are you all right?" the nurse asks me, looking at my shirt which is covered in Harper’s blood and soaked from the water we used on her eyes.

I nod, dismissing her concerns. "I am fine. Harper Kingsley?"

"Over here, darlin’," Robie calls, emerging from behind double doors leading to the trauma rooms.

"How is she?"

He takes me by the hand and leads me to the room where Harper is being taken care of. He holds me back, letting the team of doctors work on her without interference. One is standing at the end of the bed, examining her eyes, speaking in a language which is incomprehensible. I just want to hold her and pretend none of this happened.

"Can you hear me?" the doctor asks, the first question I can understand.

Harper responds weakly, "Yeah."

I feel myself clutching at Robie, willing her to be all right.

"What’s your name?"

"Harper Kingsley."

"What happened?"

"Fireworks," she rasps. "Kelsey?" she calls out, louder.

"I’m here, sweetheart," I reply, breaking free of Robie’s restraint. I find free spot at her side and reach through to hold her uninjured hand. "You’re going to be all right."

"Can’t see." She turns her face in my direction and I gasp. Both eyes are blood red, reminding me of something out of a horror movie.

"Everything is going to be fine, baby," I promise. I will make it so.

The doctor looks down at our joined hands. I am afraid we’re about to encounter stupidity, but am pleasantly surprised. "Can you squeeze her hand, Harper?"

Harper does so. I look at the doctor and nod.

"Can you stick out your tongue?" Check. "Move your eyebrows?" Check. "Open your mouth?" Check. "Say ‘what time is it?’"

"What time is it?"

"Good." He squeezes Harper’s shoulder reassuringly. "Give her 5 milligrams of morphine and start up a bag of saline. Also get 1 gram of vancomycin in her. Who’s the ophthalmologist on call?"

"Radson."

"Get her in here." He moves down her side and examines her right hand and wrist which have swelled to twice their normal size. "Looks like the wrist is broken. How far away does Radson live?"

"We have a half hour or so," one of the other medical personnel replies.

"Let’s get a film series on the wrist then. Also, I want to continue the irrigation for another fifteen minutes." To Harper he says, "We need to keep running saline over your eyes. It’s the best course of treatment until Dr. Radson arrives. Eye injuries improve significantly with early irrigation."

"We did that at the house right after it happened," I inform the doctor.

"Good," he smiles in my direction, "all the better."

"Hurts," Harper protests.

"It won’t very soon," he promises even as he injects the morphine into the saline drip. "We’re gonna get you taken care of, Ms. Kingsley."

"I can’t see," Harper repeats.

"Relax, Dr. Radson will be here soon."

Well, that was noncommittal.

With that, the doctor leaves, the two others trailing after him. We have a moment alone, even Robie steps outs to give us our privacy. I hope he’ll go out and update Mama and Papa on Harper’s condition. I grab one of the nearby stools and drag it over, glad to relieve the strain on my lower back. I manage to do this without ever losing contact with Harper. If she can’t see, I want her to know without a doubt I’m here. I press a kiss to the back of her hand.

"You okay?" she asks.

Am I okay? I’m worried sick about you. But I don’t say that. "I’m fine, the babies are fine." I pull her hand down to my stomach.

Harper rubs it softly. "Thank God. Robie says Christian is okay. Is that true?"

"He’s perfectly fine," I assure her, willing my voice to be upbeat. "He wasn’t even touched by the … it. That was some toss there, Stud."

She chokes out a laugh. "How bad is it, Kels?"

It looks so bad it’s ripping my heart out. "Honey, I’m your wife, not a doctor. You get a hangnail and I get nervous. So, let’s wait for the doctors to tell us what’s up."

"That bad, eh? God, I must be a sight."

"You’re hurt, you know that." I lean in, close to her ear, wanting her to not miss a word of what I have to say. "But you are still my love and my heart and we’ll get through this just like we’ve gotten through everything else. Only this time, I’ll be the one sneaking you Mama’s sweet potato soup."

The door swings open and an orderly enters. "I need to take her to radiology for a minute. The doctor said you could wait for her here."

I lean in and press a kiss to the corner of Harper’s mouth, acutely aware that she did not see me coming and didn’t turn her head for a real kiss. "I love you." I walk beside the gurney to the doorway but remain behind in the exam room.

God, I hate not being with her.

I sigh and look down at my hands, seeing them tinted with Harper’s blood. I want it off. I want to be clean again. I go to the sink and begin scrubbing, the antiseptic soap harsh against my skin.

The bottom of the sink pools with pale pink liquid and I gag at the sight. That’s Harper’s blood. From her eyes. Those beautiful, baby blue eyes that make me fall in love with her again and again. To think that she’s blind.

And her blood is on my hands.

I scrub harder. I can’t seem to get it off. It’s permanently stained my skin.

I want it off.

Blood on my hands.

Like I have Bill Danes’ blood on my hands.

So much blood.

"Hey, hey, Kels," Robie’s voice breaks into my thoughts, his hands reaching under the running water and covering mine. "You’re rubbing your hands raw, sweetie." He takes my hands and wraps a paper towel around them. The rough paper stings. "Are you all right?"

"No," I cry, and throw my arms around his neck, holding him tight.

Robie wraps me up in his embrace and holds me gently, letting me cry against him. "Everything is gonna be all right. Harper is one stubborn cuss. She’s going to be fine."

I nod against his chest, willing it to be so.

Mama enters the room next. "Ma petit!" she cries and hurries over to us. She rubs my back as I let out another cry, glad to relieve the stress of the evening so far. Our babies are doing somersaults in my stomach. They know something’s wrong.

Mama, Robie and I cling to each other for long minutes before I calm down. Robie releases me and helps me sit down.

"Let’s get you in some clean clothes, ma petit," Mama says, noting the sorry state of my attire. She leaves the room in search of clothing.

Robie presses a glass of water into my hand. "Drink this."

I do so, trying not to spill any of it.

The door opens again and this time it’s Harper being brought back in. I wipe my eyes, to make myself presentable so I don’t worry her more. Then it hits me: Harper can’t see me. I take a deep breath. "Welcome back, baby. How are you feeling?"

"Hurts less."

The orderly indicates the saline drip. "The morphine is kicking in." He puts two X-ray slides up on the light box. "The doc will be right in."

I retake my seat, replacing Harper’s hand on my belly.

True to his word, the doctor comes in immediately, a nurse trailing behind him. She goes to Harper’s head and begins setting up an eye irrigation protocol. Harper flinches at her touch. I scowl. I don’t like her not telling Harper what’s going on. Hell, if she won’t, I will.

"It looks like she’s going to flush out your eyes again, sweetie. She’s reaching for your right eye and is about to hold it open." I give the blow by blow descriptions, irritated that the cow isn’t following my not too subtle hint.

The doctor finishes studying the X-rays and comes over to the bedside. "Harper," he says, gently touching her upper arm, "you have a broken wrist. The head of the radius is broken from the shaft. I’m going to have to set your wrist and put it in a cast. Nurse Delacourt is doing the eye irrigation."

Harper nods. "I know. Water in my ear."

I chuckle, glad for the humor. "I’ll take care of that in a moment for you, sweetheart." The ear in question is out of my reach. All I want is to take care of her, make her feel better.

"Thanks, baby."

The nurse switches to the left eye without warning. Okay, I’m making a list and checking it twice. This bitch is gonna get a lump of coal. And before Christmas too. I begin describing what is going on for Harper.

Mama steps inside. Bundled in her arms are some hospital scrubs. She hands them to me and looks at Harper, her eyes filling with tears looking at her baby. "Mon Coeur, comment sa va?"

"Mama?" Harper’s voice breaks a little.

I take Mama’s hand and guide it to Harper’s. "I’ll be right back, darling," I promise, stepping out in search of a bathroom in which to change.

Hopefully, that nurse will step outside the room before I get back. I’d hate to kill her in front of Harper.

* * *

I can’t see.

My eyes are on fire. Although, they feel like they’re smoldering now. I never realized how painful water is. God, it hurts so much every time they do that irrigation stuff. Feels like my eyes are being peeled back when they do it. They put some drops in before they started the last time. It helped some, but not enough.

My wrist hurts like a son of a bitch. I can wiggle my fingers, but it pains me to do so. Now encased in fiberglass from the base of my fingers to the top of my elbow, arm bent at a ninety degree angle, it rests on my stomach. This gets to be a part of my wardrobe for the next two months.

This has not been a good night.

Except that Christian is safe.

The doctor is removing debris from my face and spreading anti-burn cream on it. Apparently, the firecracker was homemade and filled with gunpowder and metal bits. This explains why I feel like I have hundreds of little nicks on my arms, legs and face. I do. It feels like a hundred angry bees stinging me.

I must look terrible.

Mama is holding my hand, but I miss Kels. I miss her touch. God, I’m going to miss seeing her smile.

I’m never going to see our children.

This thought causes me to begin weeping causing a renewed flood of pain.

* * *

I re-enter the trauma room feeling a bit better. I look like a walking advertisement for the OB-GYN department with my burgeoning belly and blue hospital scrubs. I feel better being free of Harper’s blood. I never want to see the soiled clothing ever again.

I look over and see Harper crying on the table. I feel my heart shatter. I rush to her. Mama moves, allowing me to take my place there. I draw Harper’s hand against my cheek. "What’s wrong, sweetheart? Do you need more pain medication?"

She shakes her head, unable or unwilling to tell me.

I run my fingers gently through her hair at the top of her head, careful to avoid her face. I simply don’t want to do anything that’s going to increase her pain. Not only are her eyes a horrible red color, but her face is cut and reddened from the metal fragments and gunpowder. It looks as if she has been subjected to a cheese grater.

I know she must be in horrible pain and scared to death. I need to get her to talk to me and tell me what she’s thinking. I need for her to tell me what she’s feeling so I can find some way to make it better. I will make it better, baby. I promise. Just talk to me.

I am about to try to reason with her when we are joined by a new doctor. The woman is a little taller than I am and a few years older. I find it appropriate that, as an ophthalmologist, she wears glasses. She is looking at Harper’s medical file as she approaches. "I’m Patricia Radson." Touching Harper’s shoulder, she says, "Are you in a lot of pain?"

She nods. "A bit," she gestures vaguely, "my eyes burn, my face … I can’t see."

"We’re going to find out what’s happening to your eyes. Can you sit up for me?"

Harper nods and starts to push herself up by her elbows. I immediately assist her, swinging her legs over the side of the table. I keep my hand on her lower back to balance her. And because it’s all I can do to keep myself calm.

The doctor pulls over a machine and maneuvers it in front of Harper’s eyes. "This is a slit lamp. It will allow me to examine your eyes. I’ll need you to sit forward and rest your chin here." She helps guide Harper into position. "You may see a bright light while I’m examining you. It may be uncomfortable, but please try to keep as still as possible."

Having said that, she begins the exam. She works for a few minutes in silence, occasionally making a "hmm" sound, driving me insane. This is like a Chinese water torture. Why is getting information out of these people like pulling teeth? Which I may end up doing if she doesn’t start talking to us real damn soon.

Finally, she pushes the machine away and turns to face us both. I note that she sits close to Harper, allowing her knees to brush against Harper’s legs. "Okay. You have a few things going on with your eyes, a couple which are more worrisome than others. First, you have a lot of debris in your eyes from the blast, and you know that. It appears a tiny piece went through your right eyeball and is sitting inside, in the back, near where the nerve enters your eye."

"Oh my God," escapes my lips before I can censor myself.

Harper blows out a deep breath. "No wonder it hurts like a son of a bitch."

The doctor continues, "This piece of debris appears to be sitting on the very edge of the outside of your nerve, and is probably the reason you can’t see very well out of that eye."

"I can’t see at all," Harper corrects.

"What I need to do is get a better look, to see if there’s any obvious damage to the nerve, and remove the debris. This means I’ll have to do surgery on your eye. The good thing is that we’ll put you to sleep, and you won’t feel a thing."

My heart and stomach lurches yet again. The thought of someone operating on Harper’s eyes, her beautiful eyes, is upsetting in the extreme. Harper is taking it better than I am. She chuckles softly and asks, "I hope you don’t mean put to sleep in a pet doctor kinda way."

Dr. Radson allows herself a soft laugh. "No, not at all. While I’m there, I can perform a more thorough and less painful examination of both your eyes. You also have some lacerations and abrasions on the outsides of your eyes, and that’s what’s causing most of your pain right now."

"Will that go away, Doctor?"

"It should, yes. The sooner the surgery is performed, the better. I will have an anesthesiologist come and see you as soon as I have the operating room set up for the surgery."

"What about my left eye?"

"It looks as if it’s received a concussive injury. That is a pressure injury from the close-range blast, and there’s some bleeding in the back of your eye, where a bunch of veins run. You can’t see the blood, but I did when I examined that eye. The blood is causing some swelling and is likely the reason you can’t see out of your left eye."

"What’s the prognosis?"

Dr. Radson spreads out her hands, then runs them over her jacket. "What we need to do is remove that foreign body, get a better look, and clean up and repair any lacerations to your eyes. I can’t tell you right now what will happen in terms of your vision. We’ll have to see how things go after the surgery. Have people regained their sight after such injuries? Yes, but it’s really an individual thing, Harper. I’m going to have to see what we’re dealing with when I operate and during your recovery. The plan is to fix what we can, give you antibiotics to prevent infection, and after surgery, patch your eyes and give you drops to minimize your discomfort."

"Thank you, doctor."

"I’m going to take good care of you, Harper. I promise."

Oh, you better. Otherwise you’re on my list, right after Nurse Delacourt.

* * *

I close my cell phone and toss it into my briefcase. Gerrard and Katherine were kind enough to bring it to me with fresh clothes of my own. I’ve changed and everyone has been notified, from work to my Dad. I think I’ve done everything I need to do. Except, of course, figure out how to make this nightmare end.

I know one thing for sure, without having Harper in the room to keep me focused, I’m beginning to feel every little ache and pain. It’s been a long night. A very long night.

I look over to my left. Mama is dozing in Papa’s arms. This is the first time I’ve ever really seen her upset. She is devastated right now. Boy, when things settle down, the manufacturers of fireworks are gonna be in for a hell of a surprise and it’ll be headed their direction in the form of Cecile Kingsley.

Katherine and Gerrard are talking quietly in the corner. I don’t know how I’m ever going to thank her. If Harper stands any chance at all of getting her sight back, it’ll be because Katherine was so quick on the uptake and treated the injuries right after they occurred. I didn’t know she studied nursing before marrying Gerrard. I am so thankful she did.

Jean and Elaine and the older children are babysitting the younger ones. Elaine called a few minutes ago to assure us that all the children are fine, just worried about their Tante Harper.

Luc and Rachel have gone out for food. They made me promise I would eat something when they got back. I’m not particularly hungry, but I’m sure the babies need it.

I’m just getting so tired.

Robie settles onto the couch next to me. He places a pillow on his lap and without a word pulls me down so my head is resting on it. "Why, Mr. Kingsley, what would your wife say?"

He snorts. "Who do you think got you the pillow? She has now gone off in search of a blanket."

"Thank you." I feel his hand brushing through my hair in exact imitation of his sister. I wonder if he knows that. Is this a genetic trait of all Kingsleys?

I shouldn’t sleep. I should wait until I hear how Harper is doing, but my body is so heavy and Robie’s hand in my hair is so relaxing.

Maybe a quick nap. Five or ten minutes.

"Robie…"

"Shhhh … go to sleep, Kels. We’ll wake you as soon as Harper comes out of surgery. We’re all here and we’ll take care of you both. Rest. If not for yourself, for Harper and the twins."

Harper and the twins. I’d do anything for them.

My eyes close.

* * *

Robie awakens me with a gentle squeeze to my shoulder. I am instantly alert, my heart hammering as I fear the worst. "Harper?" I ask, struggling to sit up, looking at my watch, I see four hours have passed.

"Harper is fine, Kelsey," Dr. Radson answers from her spot next to the couch. "She’s in the recovery room right now. She’ll be there for about an hour and then we’ll be moving her to a private room. You’ll be able to join her there." She answers that question before I can even ask.

"How did the surgery go?" Papa asks. Mama is still too upset to speak. She doesn’t look as if she rested at all.

"I was able to remove the debris from Harper’s right eye through a small incision. It was just on the edge of the optic nerve as I'd suspected. I didn't see any obvious damage to the optic nerve, which is a good thing. The bleeding in her left eye also appears mild, which is good. We're going to have to wait, though, to see how her vision improves."

Okay, I have to ask. I need to know so I can help her. "Could Harper be permanently blind?"

"That’s possible."

I hear Mama begin crying.

"But, we need to wait and see. The body is an amazing thing, able to recover from even devastating injuries. I’ve done everything I can at this point. The main priority now is to avoid any infection and for Harper to rest."

* * *

I feel like I weigh a ton. Someone has parked a tank on my body because I can’t move my limbs. Everything feels stiff and unused for a year. And cold.

I try to open my eyes, but find it impossible. They hurt like hell and have something pressed against them. I’m wearing goggles?

What in the hell?

Then it hits me. The explosion. The pain. My eyes.

I’m blind.

I gag.

Someone touches me and I jump, not expecting it.

"It’s me, honey," Kels voice is soft in my ear. "Good morning."

"Cold," I whisper. I can’t talk, my teeth will start chattering.

"Let me get you another blanket." She squeezes my hand and leaves me for a moment. I hear her move around the room and then I feel another blanket being laid over me. That’s better. "I love you," Kels whispers, once again at my side.

I try to reply, but my mouth feels like cotton. Finally, I manage, "Water?"

"Sure thing." I feel a straw pressing against my lips. I open enough to wrap my lips around it and take a long drink. God, that feels good. I suck down the water like a man found in a desert. "Take it easy there, darlin’," Kels whispers.

"Thank you," I reply. "What’s going on?"

"You’re in your room in the hospital. The surgery went well. You have patches over your eyes and your right arm is in a cast."

That explains a few things. "How are you?" God, let nothing have happened to her or our babies.

"I’m fine. I have my little nest built right over here and I’ve been resting while you were sleeping."

"You should take care of yourself. Be in bed." I hold out my hand. "Get in here." I don’t know how much room there is here, but there’s more than enough for the two of us. I’ll make sure of that. I need her near me.

Kels laughs and takes hold of my extended hand. "There is nothing I would like better, Tabloid. But let’s wait until we get home. I think most of the staff would stroke right out around here if they walked in on a scene like that."

I am being turned down? I must really look bad.

Or she doesn’t want me anymore.

Blind. Who knows what else. "I look that bad? Besides my eyes, what happened?"

"No, you don’t look that bad. You’re as beautiful as the day I married you. I simply want you to rest and get better so I can take you home."

I take a deep breath and try to keep from losing it. "What does the doctor say?"

"She says there’s a very good chance you’ll regain your sight, but that it’s going to be a couple of weeks before we’ll know."

"Chance?"

"Yes. You’ve been injured, honey. You need time to heal and get over the surgery."

That’s doctor speak for ‘you’re blind.’ I am never going to see my family again, my wife, my children. It’s always going to be dark and black and … I take in a shuddering breath. How am I ever going to take care of my family now? A fat lot of good a blind producer is. Unemployed. Unemployable. Two house payments. Twins. Oh God.

My stomach tightens and spins. I am going to be sick.

I feel Kels’ hands on my shoulders, the gentle weight of her leaning over me. I can smell the sweetness of her breath, the lingering scent of her perfume. "Everything is going to be fine, Harper. You are going to be fine. We are going to be fine."

Her nearness soothes me in a way that nothing else can. With my good arm, I reach up and grab hold of her, pulling her as close to me as possible. "I love you so much, Kels. I’m so sorry about this."

"Don’t you be sorry about anything. You saved Christian’s life yesterday. This was an accident. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Stay with me?" And I don’t mean just right now.

"Oh, you’d better believe it. We are together, Harper. I’m not going anywhere. I’m with you here, now and forever."

"Then get in this damn bed with me so I can sleep."

The most beautiful sound in the world meets my ears as Kels laughs gently. I hear her lower the side rail and I feel the depression of the mattress as she climbs in beside me, curling up against my uninjured arm. "Fine. Pushy little thing, aren’t you? But you have to behave and rest. I’d like to take you home soon."

"Just one kiss then."

"Boy, Tabloid, you’re pushing the ‘being good’ limit." She protests but the next thing I feel are Kels’ lips on mine.

Home.

"Happy?"

More than before. I nuzzle her neck, pretending for a moment that everything is fine. "You call that a kiss?"

"I do," Kels whispers, running her fingers through my hair. This is the best medicine in the world. "Didn’t you say something about sleeping?" she asks, placing a kiss to my ear. "You must be exhausted. Or was this all a ruse to get me in bed with you?"

"Like I have ever needed a ruse with you, chér."

"True. And you never will. I love you, Harper."

We take a few minutes and settle all our limbs. Kels’ stomach is so big now it presses into my side. For the first time in hours, I feel relaxed and the pain is not as intense. My left arm is curled around her side, keeping her as close as possible. I feel her breath on my neck. Holding on to Kels makes things better.

I am almost asleep again when I feel something poke into my side.

Kels gasps and I feel her hand travel to her stomach.

Oh my God.

"Was that," I almost hesitate to ask, lest I add disappointment to my day, "the babies?"

"Definitely one of them. Probably the one that’s going to be on the Tulane football team. Place kicker, I bet."

"You think football? That felt more like a soccer player to me. The next Mia Hamm."

Kels practically pounces on me. "You felt that?"

Another swift kick.

"Yes." I laugh. "And that too." I am about to speak again when my lips are otherwise occupied. This will take some getting used to. But, I return the kiss eagerly.

* * *

"I don’t want it," she protests again, turning her head away from the spoon. "Can’t you sneak me in a burger?"

I sigh and drop the spoon back into what I think was supposed to be lime Jell-O when we started this a half hour ago. Not that I blame her, I hated hospital food too. "Tabloid, I promise you, I will see to it that you get some solid food very soon but for right now…" It was hard enough getting her to even agree to letting me feed her. Her prior hospital gown had to be exchanged after a few unsuccessful attempts on her own. Finally, her hunger won out over her pride. That and I promised to make little propeller noises for her like she does for Clark. Humor always helps my spouse cope.

My argument is brought to a halt when Robie and Rene come through the door. They both gasp, getting their first good looks at the damage done to Harper’s face by the explosion. Rene turns her head and buries her face in Robie’s shoulder as his arms go around her.

"What’s going on?" Harper jerks upright slightly, her head tilting from side to side. She’s already learning to compensate and use her sense of hearing.

"Sorry, sweetheart." I take her hand. "Robie and Rene are here."

"Can’t be." Harper smirks. "Robie’s big mouth enters a room at least two minutes before he does." She’s baiting her bother.

"Harper," Robie says very quietly.

"That sorta sounds like him, but still not quite." She turns her head toward the sound of his voice. "My older brother would never be that damn quiet." She turns back to me. "I hope you have my wallet." She grins unrepentantly.

"Big," Robie says a little louder, "big brother."

"Older, you little wimp," Harper torments.

Rene is trying desperately to stop the flow of tears down her cheeks. She finally gets them under control and moves toward the bed, resting her hand on Harper’s shoulder. "Thank you isn’t enough, Harper," she whispers, leaning in to give Harper a kiss on the forehead. "You saved Christian’s life. That awful thing would have torn him to pieces."

"Ren, I did what I had to do," Harper answers honestly. "I love him like he’s my own."

"He loves you too. He’s been asking about you ever since last night."

Harper shudders. "Let me heal up a bit. No matter what Kels is telling me, I know I look awful right now. I wouldn’t want to scare him half to death. I’m sure I look like a Class A freak."

Robie draws a deep breath, determining to play with her like always. "Nah, you’re not that good-looking. You’re a Class B freak, at best."

"Bite me," Harper growls.

We all enjoy one of those stress-relieving bursts of laughter that seem to be required in these situations.

"Personally, I think," Harper scoots up in bed, trying her best to do the mock intimidation thing she and Robie always do, despite her current limitations. They always puff up and do their cock-of-the-walk thing every time they get together. "This was a setup to keep me from beating your ass next year atMadi Gras for the doubloons. I can’t catch them if I can’t see them. You cheating bastard."

Robie laughs and wraps his arms around Harper’s neck. I watch the tears start flowing from his eyes and he doesn’t try to stop or hide them. "God, I love you. Thank you, Harper. Thank you for saving my boy’s life."

Her good arm moves to his back and she hugs him tightly. "Love you too, big brother." They hold each other for a long moment, then Robie stands.

"Do you two need anything?" He wipes the tears from his cheeks, Rene catching any he misses.

"A Whopper," Harper croaks, her own voice full of emotion. "I’m starving here. And Kels won’t leave me to get food."

Rene laughs. "All right. We can get that for you."

"Actually, Ren, why don’t you take Kels with you? She’s been cooped up in here with me since last night. Get some fresh air. I’ll have one of the nurses help me get cleaned up." She squeezes my hand. "I stink. You must have been holding your breath earlier. Robie will keep me company, won’t you?"

Robie looks to me for permission before agreeing. I nod, understanding Harper’s need to be with her brother for awhile. I often wonder how she survived in LA without him. "Sounds like a plan, Tabloid." I tilt her jaw so that I can kiss her properly. "We won’t be long."

* * *

Robie steps out of the room momentarily and returns with someone in tow.

"Hi there, hero," Katherine greets me, coming over to kiss my cheek. "I hear you’re looking to get cleaned up a bit."

I flush bright red. Oh God, Robie, what are you doing to me? "Uh, well, yeah …"

Katherine chuckles at my discomfort. "You don’t have anything I don’t have."

Robie clucks. "I don’t know about that, Kat. I mean, this is Harper we’re talking about."

I groan. Hoping for sympathy. I find none. I hear Katherine in the bathroom, running water. Robie comes over and ruffles my hair. "I will go get us some soda."

"Robie."

"Yeah?"

"Hurry back."

"Will do."

* * *

Ten minutes later, I am now smelling – and feeling – much better. Katherine used her prior training as a nurse to get me cleaned up with a minimum of embarrassment and a maximum of efficiency. Though her comment ‘Kels didn’t mention that little scar on your butt’ did not do much for my peace of mind. I think my Little Roo and I need to have a chat later.

Now Robie and I are alone in my hospital room. At least, I think we are. "How bad is it, Robie?"

"The smell is gone," he teases.

"You know what I mean." I reach up and gently feel the outline of the patches over my eyes. It’s like I am wearing goggle sunglasses. In the middle of an eclipse. "They still hurt."

"It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Give it time, Harper."

"What if it doesn’t get better, Robie? What if I am blind?"

I imagine him shrugging before he realizes I can’t see him. He then clears his throat nervously and moves his chair closer, its metal legs scraping against the floor tile. "What if you are, Harper?"

I press my damp hair into the pillow. "I don’t want to be."

"I don’t think anyone does."

"I don’t want to never see Kels again, Robie. I can’t stand the thought of that. To not see her is like not being able to breathe. And to think I won’t see our children." The tightness in my chest consumes me, forcing me to gasp for air. "I’ll never know what they look like."

Robie takes hold of my hand, gripping it tightly between his two. "Yes, you will, Harper. This is temporary. I know it is. God wouldn’t repay you this way for saving Christian’s life. I know it."

I have no such faith to fall back on. "Bad things happen to good people, Robie."

"Well, you’re safe then."

I am so surprised at his response that I bark out a laugh. "Jesus, Robie." I immediately sober, though I am grateful for his diversion. My emotions are too raw to be brought out again. I feel like one exposed nerve from my eyes down to my toes. "What if," I have to ask, "what if Kels doesn’t want to be burdened by someone like me?"

"What are you talking about?"

He knows damn good and well what I’m talking about. "Robie," I warn.

"No, what are you talking about? Because you don’t sound like someone who has lived with the Kelsey Kingsley that I’ve known for the last nine months." He emphasizes the Kingsley aspect of Kels’ name.

"Things change."

"Yes, things do change," he sighs. "But her love for you isn’t one of them. Anyone with brainstem activity can tell that about her."

"It’s gonna be hard enough on her as it is. Having twins. Demanding job -"

"Stop it, Harper." Robie’s tone is sharp. "Don’t even go there."

"Where?"

"The noble, self-sacrificing, martyr role. It’s bullshit. You and I know it."

Damn him.

"You’re scared. And you have every reason to be. I would be scared too."

It’s so dark.

"Kels is scared too, I bet."

"See," I protest. "All the more reason -"

"Be quiet, I’m not finished. She’s scared that you might have this type of bone-headed reaction." He leans closer, the scent of his aftershave reaching me, giving me a better idea of where he is at. "You married her, Harper. You stood before God and your family and you made promises. Not one of them was running when things got tough."

"I’m not running. I’m trying to do what’s best."

"Again, bullshit."

I scowl, wanting to be mad at him, knowing I can’t be. "You know, if Kels were here, you’d owe a lot of money to the twins’ education fund."

"And she’d be hitting you upside the head."

We sit in silence for a few long minutes, absorbing the conversation. I start to say a hundred things and stop each time. Finally, "I want what’s best for Kels and our children."

I feel his hand wrap around mine. "You are what’s best."

* * *

"Oh, Rene, do me a favor: stop in there for a second." I point at a toy store. "I want to get Harper something."

"You buy her real toy toys too?"

"Oh yeah, you should see her Pez candy dispenser collection. She has the entire Star Wars line," I joke. "I just want to find some silly little thing or some silly big thing. Let’s see what catches my attention once I’m in there."

"We can do that." She steers the Jeep into a parking space and shuts down the ignition. She turns to me with a very serious expression on her face. "Kels, you know that no matter what happens the entire family is here for you both."

"I know. But everything is going to be fine. Harper is alive and that’s all that matters. That’s all that truly matters. The rest of it is simply another hurdle we have to get over."

"What if her sight doesn’t return?" Rene asks gently. I know she’s feeling me out, ready to protect Harper, if need be. That’s part of why I love Rene so much.

"Then we get her accustomed to functioning without it and we move on."

"Do you think she’ll…"

I cut her off, not wanting to think of anything but a positive outcome. "I’ll make sure she does." I turn to my sister. "I don’t care if she can’t see. There are lots of things she can do. I’ll help her find one of those things and support her through the process from sighted to blind. Rene, all that matters to me is that she’s alive. There’s been so much death in my life, I never would have survived if Harper had been taken from me too." I sigh, my fingers playing with the handle of the door. "These babies need her. They’re going to need her love and understanding while I get a grip on becoming a mom."

Rene pats my hand. "Kels, I know you have issues, but trust me, hon, you’re already a mom and a damn good one. Those babies are so lucky to have been given to you and Harper."

"Thanks." They truly are a gift.

"Hey, let’s make a pact right now though, okay? It’s all right if Robie and Harper want to challenge each other until time stands still. But in a few months we’re going to have five children between us. We have to keep them from competing with each other or we’ll never make it. Besides, if they ever decide to gang up on us, we’re doomed. You and I have to stick together in the Mom Department here." She offers me her hand.

"Agreed." I take it with a laugh. "So it’s you and me against the two orneriest of Mama and Papa’s children."

"They don’t stand a chance. We’re far more devious than they are. I mean, Robie is a man after all and…"

"And some days Harper may as well be. You wouldn’t believe what she said to me the other day…" I relate as we climb out of the truck.

<fade out>

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