"Take it out!" Gabrielle cried, as she strained at her bound hands.

"Why?" Lynchia asked.

"Because, it's evil." Gabrielle said.

"And...so?" Lynchia prodded.

By the gods, Callisto had nothing on her. "Just take it out please." Gabrielle asked nicely, her own stomach tightening from the thought of it.

"No." Lynchia snapped. "Stop interrupting, I've been preparing this little speech all the way back to the castle. Anyway, so I was thinking to myself, what could I take from her that would mean as much to her as what she took from me. You understand?"

"I'm beginning to." Gabrielle said quietly. "Take it out."

"You're incessantly irritating...do you know that?" Lynchia growled but relented and removed the sword. "It must be the sex."

"Excuse me?" Gabrielle asked as she relaxed somewhat now that the doll was okay again, though she wasn't quite sure why that mattered so much to her.

"The sex, why she keeps you around. I've never seen anything like it. It's almost, superhuman. You two." Lynchia said turning to the bard. "I mean really."

Gabrielle swallowed, she was beginning to feel very sick. How in Hades did she know about that? She didn't even want to find out that answer. Super human, well, she supposed that was a compliment, sort of. She began working the binds of her hands, slowly, and persistently. She had to get out of here. She had to really get away from this madwoman.

*******

Xena breathed out slowly and stood. By the gods, the pain was fading. She wiped back the wet strands of hair that clung to her face, and looked up. She could feel Gabrielle close and she began to take the stairs in twos. Please be okay, please be okay, gods please be...

*******

"Of course if I'd killed you in the hot springs, I see now, she would not have continued on, though that would mean I would never have ended up like this, but then Pan would have surely not been happy, and I would have ended up in some tartarus hole anyway. A deal's a deal, after all. But then I would have still been beautiful. Now look at me." Lynchia said evenly as she walked over to the bard who was gazing at the ceiling again. "Look at me."

Gabrielle complied as she slowly worked her hands behind her back, she couldn't believe her luck, the binds were loosening. This woman obviously had no experience in basic warrior skills.

"Why? Knots coming undone? Actually, I sew. Badly." Lynchia admitted as she walked around behind the stool to re-tighten the bard's binds. She tossed the doll on the floor.

Gabrielle looked down at the doll as she felt Lynchia pull her hands even tighter than they had originally been, and they now dug deeply into her skin, her fingers beginning to go numb already. Her heart tightened as she gazed at the tiny version of her love, discarded, like an old toy, long since forgotten. Now why, was she getting emotional over a doll? Because it was Xena, of course, and she meant everything to her.

"Yes, my little bard, just as you're everything to her, there is nothing else in that heart of hers, other than darkness." Lynchia stepped away inspecting her handy work.

"That's not true." Gabrielle cried. "There's love, understanding, excitement, wonder...challenge." Definitely challenge as she caught herself picturing Xena grinning madly as she slammed the last Trojan down on the table in triumph. Tears began to form in her eyes, gods this was not the time to get emotional, or perhaps it was.

"You see white, I see black." Lynchia sighed, "We're very different."

"I'll say." Gabrielle retorted and then stifled a yelp as Lynchia grabbed her hair hard.

"Almost time." Lynchia sighed as she guided the bard into a standing position by pulling on her hair. "Let's go. Baby steps. Wouldn't want to fall on that pretty little face now would you?"

Gabrielle nearly stumbled as she tried to follow Lynchia's lead. Her feet were bound very close so this made for careful maneuvering. They were making their way painfully slow towards the open window and Gabrielle was beginning to get a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, and it had nothing to do with the sights and smells of Lynchia, or her hangover.

"Hades!" Lynchia cried as she tried to hoist Gabrielle up onto the ledge of the window sill. "You're too bloody heavy." Lynchia leaned the bard against the curved wall and headed back over to the foot stool, pulling it back towards the window and inadvertently dragged a wooden leg over the xena doll. "Whoops." Lynchia chuckled as she pulled it up and over and finally clear of the figurine. "Now that had to hurt." She smiled as she propped the wooden stool below the sill. The seat height was less than a foot to the opening, creating a makeshift staircase to Tartarus. It couldn't have been any more perfect if she'd planned it. "There, now, jump up."

Gabrielle wasn't paying attention, she was still staring at the doll that Lynchia had just run over and she had a sinking feeling that it wasn't any ordinary doll. Lynchia's quip had been too biting. Her eyes widened as she worked over the possibilities, far fetched mind you, but then Xena had said if it wasn't possible, it prob...

"Jump up now!" Lynchia commanded and finally got the bard's attention. She wanted to kill her on the spot, explode that tiny little heart, tear it up into tiny little...Calm, calm, calm. Lynchia breathed out. Now where would be the fun in that, if Xena wasn't there to see it.

The bard hopped up onto the wooden stool, it teetered on its legs as Gabrielle's heart leapt into her throat, she was going out the window. She caught a glimpse of black sky and then ground and vertigo swept across her but then Lynchia's arm grabbed her hard and steadied her.

"Not yet, we have to wait for Xena." Lynchia purred. Dum dum dum...da dum da dum da dum....

*******

Pain pulsed across her legs like none she'd ever known, as she slowly tried to work her way round the stairs. She'd had a momentary reprieve and then an agonized shard of pure lightening had tore across her thighs. Now she was forced to drag herself along like some broken doll, using her sword as a crutch. She steeled herself to wipe out the pain and concentrate on walking, step, after Tartarus step, the sound of the steel tip of her blade echoing through the turret walls, as she neared her destination. She rounded a corner and looked up shakily, through tear streaked eyes. She blinked them away just to make sure she wasn't hallucinating again. It was the door to Rapunzel's room, and she had arrived.

"Hello Xena." Lynchia smiled as the warrior collapsed into the room, the door swinging open and banging against the curved wall.

The warrior looked up from her knees, and took everything in all at once.

"You're looking a little worse for wear tonight, though still as gorgeous as ever." Lynchia purred from the window. She had one hand on the bard's arm, ready to push her out should the warrior attempt anything stupid. The other held the doll.

Xena nodded, she'd yet to find her voice. She tried to reassure Gabrielle with her eyes. The bard was looking terrified, or perhaps it was concern for the warrior. Just how bad did she look? Well she was sure she had nothing on Lynchia. By the gods, just the sight of her was reawakening the snake in Xena's belly. She had to think.

"You think too much, that's your problem." Lynchia sighed. "If you hadn't gotten thinking so tartarus much we wouldn't have ended up in this mess! And I would have ruled the universe!" Lynchia began to squeeze the doll tighter, subconsciously. "But Nooooo! You had to go and start thinking, instead of just being, and now you've ruined everything!!!"

The air left her lungs as a terrible vice gripped her chest, her eyes beginning to bulge in her head, she collapsed to the floor clutching herself.

"The doll!" Gabrielle cried at Lynchia. "You're squeezing it too hard!"

"Oh." Lynchia looked over at her hand, relaxing the grip slightly. "So I am." She chuckled. "No matter, it's going out the window right after you, my precious bard."

Gabrielle's eyes widened. Would that work? If she threw the doll out? Who knew these things?

Xena breath came in gasps as she refilled her lungs and stared at the impossible distance between her and the bard, though it was only a few feet away. Every fiber was aching, it was almost blinding in its intensity. She slowly worked her hand towards her chakrum. She was going to kill that witch, if she could only get ...

Oh Xena.." Gabrielle stifled a cry, as Lynchia began to cackle loudly by her side, as if something had become insanely funny to her. Xena's eyes were beginning to roll in her head and she was shaking so hard Gabrielle thought she was going to die. Then she saw Xena's hand moving towards her chakrum and she looked into the warrior's eyes, a silent exchange passed between them and she readied herself.

Lynchia gave the doll one more squeeze for good measure, as she tried to control herself, she was laughing too hard. She finally slowed to a smile. "Say good bye, Xena, to your, what was it again? Your heart?, soul?, heart & soul? Something like that." And she shoved the bard out the window.

Gabrielle was ready and turned at the last moment as Xena's chakrum flew through the air and released her bound hands just in time for her to reach out and grab the ledge as her body swung out into the night.

Lynchia screamed in rage and peered over the edge, doll in hand. She came down hard on Gabrielle's right hand with the doll and the bard's grip loosened, but then she reached up and grabbed the doll from Lynchia's hand and the tug of war began. "You little bi.., let go!" Lynchia screamed as she pulled hard backwards, stepping up onto the foot stool.

Xena pitched forward, as her body fought the urge to pull back and forth, as if large invisible hands controlled her. She lunged at the window and crashed into the stool and Lynchia flew out into the night still fighting for control of the little figurine.

Gabrielle's heart seized as she watched Lynchia fly up and over her head, her hand still gripping the legs of the doll, Lynchia the body. She held on tight and braced herself for the weight of Lynchia. And it came hard and fast, and as Lynchia crashed against the outer wall the doll threatened to slip from Gabrielle's outstretched hand but she refused to let it go. But the weight was too great and her hand that held the ledge slipped and she was falling but then a powerful arm wrapped itself around her and held her strong. She looked up at Xena, now hanging over the edge and holding on to her with everything she had.

They were a string of bodies, swaying in the starlit night. Xena half out the window, one arm holding fast to the bard, the other braced against the frame of the stone windowed opening, the bard's other outstretched arm, clinging desperately to the figurine, the only tether that held Lynchia from plunging into the blackness below.

Xena was gasping from the exertion of the weight she was holding. It was too great and the bard was beginning to slip from her grasp. That and a terrible pulling from within her, as if she was being torn apart. "Let it go." Xena cried at the bard that was looking at her with pleading eyes.

"I can't." Gabrielle gasped as she looked up into her love's eyes. "I just can't." But she could feel the tiny legs slipping from her fingers, even as she fought hard not to accept this to be true.

"I guess we're all going to Tartarus then. Misery loves company." Lynchia cackled from below as she held strong to the doll. Oh this was all too perfect, too perfect a design, too perfect... A frown covered Lynchia's face, something was giving way...something was giving way.... and then she felt the tiny little suit start to tear from the doll's body. Oh no, this was not happening...this was not the way it was supposed to go, this was not the way, and then it did give way, as the little cape tore from the shoulder armour and the rest of the suit and Lynchia began to fall.

She spiraled down as the world rushed up around her. She had a vague idea that she was seconds from death. But sadly, she spent her last few pondering the little cape that had tore from the rest of the doll far too easily. It was not a perfect design, and she should have seen that. In fact, she should have seen everything, but she had been too concerned with the larger picture, she'd always prided herself on the details, but she'd never been good at sewing, and it had cost her dearly. Lynchia plunged into the black moat, her body hitting the water as hard as stone from the height of her fall. Her body broke through the surface and disappeared immediately. She was vaguely aware as silky black snakelike creatures worked their way around her body as she plunged deeper into the black depths. And as they consumed her, she held strong to the little cape, that ironically enough, should have never been there.

"Hang on Gabrielle." Xena gasped as she pulled hard, bracing herself against the window and hoisting up her lover onto the ledge.

Gabrielle wrapped herself around Xena and climbed over top of her and slid into the room taking the warrior with her. She still was clutching the doll tight as they landed entangled in each other on the floor of Rapunzel's room. Gabrielle immediately wrapped her arms around the warrior hugging her fiercely, and inadvertently squeezing the doll.

"Gabrielle!" Xena gasped. "Watch the doll."

"Oh, gods Xena.." Gabrielle looked over at the doll she still clutched. She relaxed her grip. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright.." Xena smiled as she hugged the bard tighter. She had never felt so good in her arms as she did right now.

Gabrielle examined the little clothing that was torn badly, she lifted it up. "Hey!"

"What?" Xena asked through a tired haze, her head still nuzzled into Gabrielle's shoulder.

"The shift....it's not removable! What a rip off!" Gabrielle cried.

"Give ME that!" Xena growled.

"Just... wait a minute!" Gabrielle slapped Xena's wrist away and she examined the doll further. Her eyes widened. "Uh oh."

"What?" Xena asked as she turned to look at it.

"I think the legs have stretched." Gabrielle whispered. She looked over at her lover's legs.

"Do they look alright?" Xena asked with slight trepidation.

"As gorgeous as ever." Gabrielle smiled. She fondled the doll. "I'd say this is a keeper."

"Keep me in line, should I stray." Xena asked.

"Exactly." Gabrielle grinned up at the warrior and leaned in for a kiss.

Epilogue

-----------

Melissa Etheridge

"Well, you take care of yourself, alright?" Xena grinned as she slapped Mensor on the back. "Watch out for those Trojans!"

He winced. Everything hurt this morning. Everything. He wasn't sure what was worse, his hangover, or his broken nose, or his bruised groin, or his...

A ripple of pain tore through Xena's head as she slapped him. But there was no way in Tartarus she was going to let on that she felt like absolute shit. Not on your life. Xena gazed up at the turreted tower, that looked even higher under the bright morning sunshine. Very bright, huge brightness. She had to look away. She gazed down at the moat, was that the a tiny cape floating on the black surface, slick and...gods she was going to throw up. She looked away hurriedly before it was too late.

"Well, it was really nice meeting you." Gabrielle smiled as she held her hand out to Gallion. He was gazing at her with puppy eyes. Gods.

"Yes. If you're ever in town.." Gallion looked at the gorgeous beauty that had the softest hands. So unbelievably soft. He sighed.

"Sure...I mean...sure I'll, we'll, that is, Xena and I, we'll be sure and stop by." Gabrielle stammered. Gods.

Xena came up behind her, putting her arm around her shoulder, squeezing her hard, and extending her hand to Gallion. "Take care, and stay out of trouble."

He nodded and shook her hand. Such an affectionate woman, for a warrior.

"Ready?" Xena asked Gabrielle, as she looked into those beautiful green eyes, that sparkled in the sunshine. She forgot all her pain when she was in her arms. The bard nodded and wrapped her arm around her waist. They turned and walked down the path, arm in arm, lazily, as they had all the time in the world. And they did. Finally, they were on vacation! Xena rested her head on Gabrielle's, more than likely for the remainder of the day, as she gathered up Argo's reins and the mare joined the lazy stroll. Today, was not a riding day, too dangerous.

Mensor came up behind Gallion that was watching the two women. "Cute couple, don't you think?"

"What?" Gallion asked with a puzzled expression.

"Gallion old boy, I think it's time you and I had a talk about the facts of life..." Mensor chuckled as he watched them disappear over the hill and on to another adventure.

The end

-----------

Phopas cracks a beer and passes out.

Xena passes out. Gabrielle props her on the horse and they ride away.

Melissa Etheridge

Incessant Little Irritating Details, nits, and Notes:

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Heart and Soul - First, I have many people to thank for trying to track down the lyrics to this irritating tune. Everybody knows the humming of it, few know the words. And I drove a few people crazy as it took days to get it out of their heads. In case you didn't recognize it, it's that evil tune that everyone that can't play the piano, can play. You know who you are. It is evil only to those that can play, mind you, to the others it's some form of torturous payback to those that endured piano lessons long past when you

guys threw in the towel. It's the price you pay, to play. It has an evil twin, named Chopsticks.

Zeus's temple. You may have asked yourself why Pan used it? I was prepared for this and did track him down to cover my butt, and he was quoted as saying, "Mine isn't big enough, it's not fair!"

The blow up version of Xena is no longer available as it was sold out immediately after this story. The Gabrielle miniatures are still on order though Gallion has already purchased the entire stock, so you're out of luck there, and has first dibs on the blow up version as well.

The Ritual. Hmmm. I have no ties with Satan, in any shape or any form, just in case someone who actually knows anything, recognized something familiar about it. Of course, that wouldn't explain how I could tell, if you could tell, if there was something familiar in there. Yeesh. Enough said.

Pan, again. Pan was one of the only gods to have been reported to have been killed in real times. Something to do with his cult goings on, too many women...? I had to mention this as I was quite excited that I actually did research on this one. And if you can get past the old herc cartoon version of him, he was actually one of the first symbols of the devil. Hey, I don't have that book either. Hmm.

The Old Ones - well, they're just really old ones.

Arcadia, I realize is a region, not a city, but I couldn't find an appropriate location to house the king so I decided that the capital of Arcadia, was in fact, Arcadia, and I can't believe I'm even pointing this out as now everyone knows there never was a city called Arcadia and I feel like an idiot.

Xena's drinking habit and the Trojan drinking game. After I irresponsibly decided to get Xena drunk I sat and pondered just how much it would take. I almost turned the Trojan drinking game into a full blown, front line, back line, side flanks, and reserves all out assault, but it just didn't flow as nicely. I was at least respectful enough, in my out of character experience, to ensure she never slurred - because Xena just wouldn't. Of course she'd never get that drunk either, but that's beside the point.

Oh, and Callisto's leathers are sold out as well, though I have a sneaking suspicion Xena bought them for the bard.

This would not be complete without a comment on our anti heroine, Lynchia. Evil thing. Anyway. This is in regards to Lynchia's unfortunate, dare we say, rather gruesome appearance in the last scene. I was so grossed out by my description of her that I couldn't continue with it. And I thought it might freak people out too much, including myself. So really, when she was talking she probably would have been having difficulty, without lips and all, perhaps some canine gnashing of teeth and such, but I just couldn't describe her any further. I just had to point that out as I didn't want anyone thinking I had failed to take that particular detail into account. And we all know how Lynchia is a stickler for details.

Well, that's all she wrote. I'm heading on vacation..thank the gods! However, Xena is refusing to let me board the boat. We're having a minor discussion over this right now. If I can get my hands on the doll, that is, if Gabrielle would stop fondling it and pass it over, we'll get to the end of this matter tout de suite.

Copyright 1997 Trish Kerr (Phopas)

Comments and criticisms are gladly accepted - my email is pkerr@interlog.com