Chapter Twelve

The narrow one-way street was packed wall to wall with people, mostly couples holding hands, meandering aimlessly along the sidewalks, walking in and out of the many shops. Funny, she had expected to feel a little intimidated by the overtly gay and lesbian community, but somehow it felt comforting. Maybe it was simply a gut reaction, seeing so many people here comfortable being themselves and not afraid of someone ridiculing who or what they were. The young doctor’s mind drifted to her brother and she wondered if he had felt this way when he came here in the past.

Regina found a seat on one of the empty benches along the crowded street and sat sipping the lemonade she had bought earlier at one of the cafés.

"Hey, did you lose your girlfriend, sweetheart?"

"What?" Regina jerked her head up and shielded her eyes from the brightness of the sun through her sunglasses. She found herself looking at a tall, athletically built woman wearing a bikini top and running shorts. "No, I’m fine."

"You look pretty far away from being fine," the red-haired woman said. "My name’s Emily. Mind if I sit?" She settled down next to Regina, draping her arm casually over the back of the bench. "You come up here often?"

Regina groaned inwardly. It didn’t matter what shape or form it came in, a pick up line was a pick up line. "No, actually this is my first time on the Cape."

Emily shifted on the bench so she was facing Regina. "So, are you up here alone?"

"No, I’m here with someone."

"Oh." Her voice was filled with disappointment. "Well, if things don’t work out you can come find me. I’m at Gabrielle’s." The woman stood up. "Listen, you look too nice to have someone trampling on your heart. Whoever it is, cut them loose."

Regina stared up at Emily, watching as the woman flashed her a grin and turned away, sauntering off down the street and disappearing into the crowds. She shook her head, feeling rather self-conscious about the woman’s blatant attempt to pick her up. Regina had never been one to get involved in casual relationships and the whole interaction just now made her uncomfortable.

She made a face as she thought of her relationship with Derrick. Maybe Jeffrey was right about her being a little naïve and sometimes not seeing something coming at her until it was too late. Why else had she allowed herself to get that involved with Derrick and not seen him for who he truly was? Yeah right, Regina, you were just too damn afraid to admit to yourself that you were attracted to women in the first place.

She stood and looked up and down the crowded sidewalks wondering what to do next.

Regina spent the rest of the day ambling through the various shops. She stopped at one particular store and browsed through the books. She picked up a couple of non-fiction titles she thought would be helpful in dealing with the teenagers who often came into the emergency department and were struggling with their own identities.

Regina started to turn away from the shelves of books lining the walls but stopped as she passed the section for romance. She hesitated for a moment before she finally gathered her courage, walked over and allowed herself to look at the various titles.

The young doctor pulled out a couple of books and read the back cover. Not sure if she would like them or not, she put them back and found two other books that looked promising. Flipping through the pages, she stopped and read a couple of pages out of one of them; her pulse quickened and a shudder ran through her as she read the words.

She quickly shut the book, acutely aware that her thoughts had drifted quite unexpectedly to one blue-eyed, dark-haired woman as she stood there reading the passages. Get a grip will you, Regina? Feeling the warmth recede from her face she slipped the books underneath the ones she was already carrying and walked over to the counter. She could hardly make eye contact with the woman standing on the other side as she waited for her to ring up her purchase, afraid she could read the jumble of emotions running through her mind.

Regina walked out of the store feeling incredibly unsettled at her response to what she had read. It stirred something in her she hadn’t really given much thought to until now. Yeah, she’d had the stupid crushes on a couple of friends in the past, but she had always shoved those feelings aside. All it took was remembering the awful fights Jeffrey had with her parents and everything he gave up when he came out to them.

Regina shook her head; she knew she liked Alex as a friend. That was obvious enough, but a physical relationship certainly hadn’t crossed her mind before now. Regina gave herself a stern reminder that it had been her own impulsiveness of running out to the truck to check on the injured woman that had gotten her and Alex into this situation to begin with. If she’d just left well-enough alone Alex wouldn’t be here and neither would she for that matter. A fine mess you made of everything, Regina.

The young woman walked toward the small park that sat below the Pilgrim Monument on Bradford Street. She looked up at the tall stone tower and watched as clouds swept by overhead, turning away as the motion of the white, billowy puffs made the tower look like it was swaying above her. Regina sat on one of the stone benches and pulled out her cell phone, dialed the hospital’s main number, waited for the operator to answer and then asked for Dr. Mitchard’s office.

A moment later the line clicked and a harried female voice answered. "Office of Medical Affairs. How can I help you?"

Regina leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Hi. My name is Dr. Kingston. I’m calling to find out about when the medical review committee is meeting."

"What is the meeting for?"

Regina shook her head. "It’s about the Martin family." She cringed, knowing that by now, half the hospital had probably heard all the details and that, thanks to the grapevine, they were most likely gravely distorted.

"Let me check. I don’t see it on her calendar." Regina listened to the DMX system playing music as she waited on hold.

"Dr. Kingston," the voice came back on the line. "That meeting is scheduled for next Monday."

"A whole week? Why so long?"

"Apparently Dr. Jameson isn’t available until then."

Wonderful. "Oh. What time is it scheduled for?" She asked, brushing her hair behind her ear.

"Ten in the morning. It’s in the fifth floor conference room. Is there anything else, Dr. Kingston?"

"No, no there’s not. Thank…" Dial tone. "You." Regina looked at the phone and snapped it shut in disgust. She wondered why the meeting wasn’t on Dr. Mitchard’s calendar and why her assistant had been so short with her. Her brain ran through a myriad of possibilities. Great, maybe it’s just a formality and they already know they’re going to revoke our privileges -- and you think Alex is mad at you now, ha!

Regina leaned back against the cool concrete wall and looked up at the sky. She could still see the angry look on Alex’s face when she had asked her about the store. It was obvious she had hit a raw nerve with her; now all she had to do was figure out why and how she could undo some of the damage she had done.

Regina decided she would walk along Commercial Street one last time before she headed back to the apartment. She walked several blocks lost in her own thoughts, then stopped and turned around, looking back down at the row of shops she had just passed. She recognized the tall figure standing underneath an awning of one of the stores. Regina hesitated, and then started walking toward the doctor.

"Alex?" Regina saw her back stiffen as the woman heard her name and looked warily in her direction. As she got closer, she realized that Alex had a ring of keys in her hands and had been trying to figure out which one opened the door she was standing in front of.

"Alex, I didn’t mean to upset you before. Please don’t be mad." Regina stepped closer, looking up at the guarded expression on her friend’s face.

Alex hung her head and sighed. The last thing she had expected was to run into Regina down by the store. Idiot, what the hell did you think she was going to do, disappear? She fiddled with the ring of keys she was holding.

"I’m not mad at you Regina. I -" She dropped her hand to her side and looked up at the window. "This is Lana’s store. It’s not open today, so I figured I’d check it out and see what Dana was doing with it."

Regina looked inside the window and back up at Alex, seeing the mix of emotions on the taller woman’s face. "A lot of memories tied up in there, huh?"

You don’t know the half of it. "Yeah, something like that," Alex said, trying desperately to come up with an idea to keep Regina from coming in with her.

"Let me come with you. I promise I won’t get in the way."

Alex lowered her eyes. "Regina I don’t know what I’m going to find in there. I really don’t want you to be here."

"Why?"

"I’ve done some things in the past I’m not proud of and I’d rather not have you be a part of this."

Regina turned and looked up into the blue eyes that were staring off into the distance. "Alex, I don’t know too many people in this life, including myself, who haven’t done some things that they wish they could change or do over."

"No, Regina you don’t understand. I’ve crossed boundaries most people wouldn’t think of crossing." Her voice was quiet and resigned.

"Alex, you don’t owe me any explanations. We’re friends and I’m not going anywhere."

"God, are you always so damn stubborn?" Alex groaned.

Regina just smiled and nodded at the door.

Alex unlocked the door, pushed it open and stepped up into the darkened interior of the store. She wrinkled her nose as she inhaled the strong scent of recently burned incense. A new age melody was playing softly on the stereo system. The doctor flicked the light switch up on the wall, and the store was illuminated with the soft glow from the recessed lighting overhead. Alex stood still as a wash of memories ran through her; a hand touched her back and she opened her eyes.

Regina had an odd sense that Alex was deeply troubled standing here and it worried her. "Are you ok, Alex?"

She took a breath and forced her shoulders to relax. "Yeah, I wasn’t sure how it would feel to be back here after all this time." She looked warily around the store.

Dana hadn’t changed it much, she had to give her that. Lana’s tastes were always somewhat eclectic and that was what her store had been centered around. Alex walked over to a glass shelf and trailed her fingers along its edge as she looked at the jewelry and gifts that adorned this corner of the store. There were candles of every shape, color and size scattered along the shelves, and long thin envelopes of incense were stored in the wooden bins that were built into the wall. In the center of the store, Dana still maintained a small collection of artwork from the local artists that she sold on consignment for them.

Alex turned around to find Regina quietly studying her. "What?"

"I always enjoyed stores like this. They have such a warm feeling to them."

Alex shook her head grimly. "This wasn’t the part of the store that I had much to do with." She walked past the counter with its register sitting at the end of it. Long strings of beads still hung in the opening to the cellar. Alex felt her gut start to churn as she stepped closer, remembering the long dark hours spent in the room below, making deals, and losing a part of herself that she wasn’t quite sure she would ever get back.

She closed her eyes, putting a hand up to the wall to steady herself as a vivid memory flashed by in her mind.

She walked on unsteady legs back out to the living room and looked down at the table strewn with drugs and other paraphernalia. Alex sifted through the contents, feeling her heart race as she confirmed her fears and stared hopelessly at the single syringe lying next to the bag of cocaine.

Alex let the painful memory fade and opened her eyes, gazing around the room. "Just as I remembered," she muttered quietly to herself.

"What’s that?" Regina walked up to stand beside Alex.

Alex started, almost forgetting that Regina had been standing there. "These candles." The doctor shook her head and pointed with her finger. "Left to right." She ran her hand across the wooden shelf. "Marijuana, Cocaine, Heroin, Ecstasy and Amphetamines. All you had to do was light a candle. That was Dana’s code so no one else in the store knew what we were doing."

"We?" Regina looked up at her, realizing for the first time what Alex had meant when she said she had done things in the past that she wasn’t proud of. She felt her gut twist in reaction, wondering how involved Alex had been in Dana’s world.

Alex looked down at Regina. "I don’t think you want to be here, Regina."

"No, I want to stay, Alex."

"All right. I’m going downstairs. Stay up here." She parted the strings of beads with her hands, listening to them click softly against each other as they swung in the air, and reached to her left and found the switch for the light. A small circle of pale yellow light filled the darkened space below. Alex cocked her head as rustling and then a high-pitched whimper reached her ears. She walked down the narrow wooden steps, bending forward to see farther into the cellar.

"What is it?" Regina asked, standing on the landing above her.

"A puppy."

"Ooh, let me see," Regina said.

Alex made a face and stepped down as Regina squeezed past her. The clatter of little claws on the metal tray of the crate became frenzied as the puppy danced and whined while Regina knelt down to investigate.

"It’s a German Shepard. Alex, look its ears aren’t even standing up yet." Regina had her fingers on the crate and was laughing as the puppy eagerly nibbled on them.

Alex shook her head and walked over to the crate. "She must have bred Thor," she commented as she recognized the familiar markings.

"Thor?" Regina looked up at Alex.

"He was the guard dog that Dana kept in the store. I’d recognize these markings anywhere." She knelt down beside Regina and slid the latch over and let the puppy out. He scrambled out of the crate and playfully jumped up, grabbing a lock of Alex’s hair in its mouth and tugged on it. "Hey." She pulled the now wet strands of hair from its mouth and swept it back over her shoulder. "So what’s your name?" Alex asked, lifting the squirming bundle of fur up into her arms.

Regina reached up and scratched between its ears. "He’s cute."

"Yeah, he’s going to be huge. Look at the size of these paws." She picked one up and squeezed it with her hand.

Alex stiffened as she heard the sound of a key turning in a lock. "Take him." She shoved the puppy into Regina’s arms.

Whirling around at the sound of hinges creaking behind them, Alex tucked Regina behind her, backing her up into a darkened corner of the room. She pressed her fingers to Regina’s mouth, silencing the question that she was about to ask. Alex brought her fingers back to her own lips, motioning for Regina to stay quiet. Squeezing Regina’s shoulder quickly to re-assure her, Alex glided silently in the shadows, along the back wall. She grabbed a wooden dowel off the table, listening as the heavy wooden door groaned as it was slid open. Alex stepped closer, waiting as a shadow wavered and then moved forward into the room.

Grabbing a fistful of shirt, Alex spun the intruder around and pinned them up against the wall with the dowel pressed hard against their neck.

"Damn it Alex, get off me."

"What are you doing here, Dana?" Alex demanded, shoving the dowel hard into Dana’s chest.

"I might ask you the same question," Dana snarled.

"It’s my store now. I’m just checking out the inventory," Alex replied smoothly, slowly releasing the pressure off the dowel.

Dana rubbed her neck and glared at her. "Bullshit. Hey, what is she doing here?" Dana jerked her head Regina’s direction.

"It is my store. I can invite who I want."

Dana looked over at Regina, letting her eyes roam over her and licked her lips suggestively. She burst into laughter as Regina shifted her feet and found the puppy at her feet much more interesting.

"Really Alex, I just don’t understand what you see in her. After all, I know what you like in a woman." Dana pushed off the wall and reached out, running a hand down Alex’s side and resting it on her hip suggestively.

Regina felt her gut clench as she watched from where she was standing. The touch was one of possessiveness and ownership; it reminded her of how Derrick acted toward her. She felt a wave of anger, followed instantly by a cold trickle of fear down her spine as she wondered what it was that Dana held over Alex that she would tolerate the way Dana was treating her now.

"So, let’s get down to business here." She walked behind Alex, letting her hand fall away. "How much are you making a week Alex? Two thousand? Four thousand?"

"I make enough, Dana. I already told you: I’m not interested." Alex crossed her arms over her chest and turned to face Dana. She could feel Regina standing off to the side watching her. Alex wanted to scream at Regina to get of there. She didn’t want her to hear this, not like this, not from Dana. Shit, why did I let you come in here with me? She looked back at Dana and her eyes narrowed as she saw the hate that this woman felt for her reflected in her eyes.

"Really? Well, that’s too bad Alex. You see, business is booming. Lana bailed you out just before things got interesting." Dana circled around her. "What was our largest take in one week? Do you remember? Oh yes, I see that you do. I see that glint in your eye. What was it now?" Dana leaned across the table and pointed at Regina. "Say it, Alex. I want to hear you say how much we sold in one week, so that little miss innocent over there understands who you really are."

Regina knelt down and picked up the puppy and held him in her arms, as she watched the two women facing off in the center of the room. From where she was standing she could see flecks of dust highlighted in the beam of the overhead light bulb. The glare hurt her eyes and she stepped back away from it.

Alex lowered her head, wishing desperately that Regina wasn’t with her. She decided there was no sense in lying; Dana knew the truth and would only make the situation worse if she did lie. She looked over at Regina and swallowed. "We pulled in fifteen thousand dollars in cocaine and heroin in a week."

Regina felt her chest constrict as the words sunk in. The puppy squirmed out of her arms and jumped to the floor, sniffing around her feet. Regina stared at Alex, as the enormity of what she had done hit her. "Jesus, Alex."

"How do you feel about your dear doctor friend now, love?" Dana pulled a pocketknife out of her pocket and walked to the back of the cellar. She unlocked a pad lock and pulled the metal door open, then disappeared inside. When she re-appeared she was holding a plastic bag in her hand. Dana dropped it on the table and slipped the pocketknife through the plastic.

She leered at Regina and licked her finger and plunged it into the white powder. "Do you want some candy, little girl?"

"Leave her out of this, Dana. This is between you and me." Alex stepped closer to Dana and blocked her view of Regina.

"Who knows Alex, maybe she’d like it." Dana glanced around Alex’s shoulder. "Want to try some sweetheart?" Dana pulled her powder-covered finger out of the bag and sucked it into her mouth, running it over her gums. Withdrawing her finger slowly, she fixed her eyes on Regina and leered at her.

Regina stepped back. In that moment, she knew what evil was as she watched Dana toying with Alex. Her mind warred with the conflicting images she had of Alex now, the doctor who she knew and the woman who had existed in a world terribly foreign from anything Regina had ever known. The doctor she’d spent long, countless hours working with in the emergency department, watching and learning from as they treated hundreds of patients. The successes were sweet and the losses, tragic. They had shared them both and Regina was beginning to realize why Alex had always worked so hard, trying to outrun this, her past. Regina’s attention jerked back as she heard Dana’s taunting voice again.

Dana dug into the bag again and walked over to Alex. "How about for old times sake Alex? Do you remember what we used to do?" She raised her fingers up to Alex’s mouth.

Alex caught her hand and twisted it painfully away from her. "Go to hell, Dana," Alex growled, as she increased the pressure on Dana’s wrist.

Dana cried out in pain and grabbed hold of Alex’s hand, trying to pry it away. "Stop. You’re going to break it."

Alex curled her lip in a feral grin and shoved Dana away from her, knocking her to the floor. She walked over to the open door of the walk-in closet and stood at its entrance looking in. "So, this is where you keep it now."

Dana reached for the dowel and scrambled to her feet, charging Alex from behind.

"Alex look out!" Regina shouted, realizing what Dana intended to do, as she swung the dowel over her shoulder.

Alex spun around and with her arms up in front, blocking the dowel with her hands. She twisted it hard, breaking Dana’s hold and kicking her hard in her gut. Dana cried out as she tumbled to the floor. Alex stepped forward, reached up, felt for the short chain just inside the door and pulled on it turning the light on.

The narrow room was lined floor to ceiling with wooden shelves. A few of them were filled with wooden crates that were unmarked. Dana sat in a heap on the floor clutching her ankle. "You son of a-"

"Shut up, Dana," Alex cut her off.

Regina walked up beside Alex and peered into the room. "My god, Alex."

Alex looked quickly at Regina. Her voice was hoarse when she spoke. "Yeah, now you know. Still like what you see?"

Regina stared up at Alex trying to come up with something intelligible to say to her.

Alex jerked her eyes away before Regina could respond. "Get out of here, Regina." She stepped into the room and picked the ring of keys up from the sawdust-covered floor. She pulled a crowbar off the nail in the wall and walked to the nearest crate; wedging the teeth underneath the lid, she pushed down on the bar with her hand. The wood creaked and splintered under the force as the lid opened, Alex reached into the crate, pulling out a plastic bag.

"You want it, don’t you, Alex?" Dana asked, nodding her head at the bag. "Go ahead and take it. I’ll give it to you on the house. What do you say?"

Alex laughed and knelt down in front of Dana. "I don’t want this crap. I don’t want any of it. In fact, what I do want, is for you to get this shit out of here before this week is over."

Dana sat back on her hands and laughed at her. "That’s rich, Alex. And what if I say no? What are you going to do? Call the police? That’s a laugh. The title of the store is in your name Alex, or did you forget that minor detail? So guess who’s going down if they find out what’s in here?" Dana spat at her.

Alex stood up and threw the bag of powder at Dana in disgust.

"You can’t stop me, Alex."

"That’s what you think, Dana." She turned and bumped into Regina who was still standing there behind her. Alex quickly dropped her gaze to the floor and brushed by her.

******

Alex walked along the pier with her hands shoved in her pockets. Lost in her thoughts, she was hardly aware that the blonde was at her side, until she felt a tug on the back of her shirt. Looking over her shoulder, Alex saw Regina looking up at her.

The young doctor saw that same look of ragged emotion pass over Alex’s face she had seen the night they had been sitting in Regina’s apartment after Justin had died. As quickly as it was there, it disappeared and that cool outer façade that Alex kept wrapped tightly around her slid back in place. Regina felt a twinge of pain as she saw the door shut firmly, keeping her at a distance.

"Alex," Regina said her name, not quite sure what she could say to her.

Unable to face Regina, the doctor turned away and looked out over the water. She walked over to a vacant slip and sat down, leaning heavily against the wooden pilings. Regina sat down next to her, dangling her legs over the edge of the pier.

"Go home, Regina. You shouldn’t be here," Alex said, looking down at her hands.

"Why, because you’re afraid of what I might think about what happened back there?" Regina asked, picking up a piece of wood and toying with it.

Alex was quiet for so long that Regina wasn’t sure she was going to answer her. She pulled one leg up, shifting her weight, trying to decide if she should just leave. Regina looked over at her dark-haired friend and saw the pained expression on her face as she stared out over the water. She dropped her leg back down and leaned forward on her hands, trying to make sense of what she was feeling inside.

It would be easy enough to walk away and leave Alex here to deal with her own problems, but she really didn’t want to. Her rational mind told her it was because of the kind of work they did, that made her feel connected to Alex. Most everything they did in the emergency department was characterized by intense short-lived periods of crisis that required quick thinking, totally committing all your resources to what you were doing at the moment. Maybe it was just a reaction to the intensity of their work and the emotional stress of the past few weeks that had brought these feelings for Alex to the surface.

Alex lowered her head and sighed. "Why are you still here, Regina?"

It was Regina’s turn to look down at the water and be silent. "Do you really want me to leave?" Please say no, Alex.

"I don’t want you to be here. I know what I have to do to stop Dana. She’ll just try to hurt you again if you stay," Alex insisted, still staring out at the water.

"I can handle myself, Alex."

"No, you can’t, not with Dana," Alex snapped. "Don’t argue with me about this, Regina."

"And you think that you can handle her? I saw what she did to you back there." Regina leaned forward and grabbed Alex’s arm. "Alex, you’re not the same person you were before." You can’t be. "I’m not going to leave knowing that Dana is going to do everything that she can to drag you back into that life."

Alex jerked her head around and stared at Regina. "What do you know about my life? What do you care anyway?"

Regina turned, facing Alex, sitting cross-legged next to her. Her fingers worked loose a piece of bark that was curling up from the wood she held in her hands. She watched as it fluttered down into the water below, spinning slowly in the current of water washing around the wooden piling.

She had the same feeling in her chest now as she did standing by the window in her apartment the night she told Derrick she wouldn’t marry him. She was scared, but for a totally different reason. Regina realized as she was sitting here, if she was really honest with herself that her feelings for Alex over the past couple of months had slowly started to cross that invisible line between friendship and something much deeper.

Regina tossed the rest of the wood out into the water and looked up at Alex’s tense profile. Taking a breath, she tried to put her thoughts into words. "I’m not sure I know what to say to you to convince you that I do care, Alex." She looked back down at her hands and laughed nervously. "You intimidated the hell out of me that first morning in the ER," Regina sighed. "I came out to talk to you later that day after Derrick showed up. I was afraid, I didn’t want to start out on the wrong foot with you."

Regina looked up at Alex. Her eyes were closed and she wasn’t sure if Alex was even listening to her. "You’re right, I don’t know about your life, Alex, but I do care and I’m here if you want me to be."

Regina watched as Alex lowered her head, her shoulders rising and falling as she let out a heavy sigh, seeming to reach a decision. "I do want you to be here Regina, but you promise me," Alex met her eyes, "you won’t go anywhere near that store. I need to convince Dana that I want to go back with her. That’s the only way I’m going to be able to stop her."

"I don’t understand. Why do you have to do this Alex? Isn’t that what the police are for?"

Alex nodded her head. "Ordinarily, yes."

"So what’s not ordinary about this? Why are you so willing to throw everything away because of Dana?" Regina leaned back and stared at Alex, waiting for an answer.

Alex slowly raised her eyes to look over at Regina.

She had a fleeting vision of kneeling next to Lana’s bed and holding her hand the day that she died. "It was the last thing that Lana asked me to do. After everything, I owe her at least that," Alex whispered.

Regina reached out a tentative hand and cupped Alex’s chin in her fingers. "Alex, let me help you."

"I can’t let you do that, Regina. This is my problem, not yours." Alex closed her eyes and turned her face away. "Regina, I know what I am. I sold drugs and benefited from getting people hooked. Every time a kid comes into that ER strung out on drugs, I see what I did. There’s not much you can do that’s worse than that, so I guess when Derek called me trash, it was an appropriate description."

"No, it’s not." Regina shook her head and reached out, taking Alex’s hand in hers. She smiled tentatively, seeing the startled expression on Alex’s face. "Alex, I know you did some really awful things, but that’s not who you are now. You wouldn’t have bothered to help me, if you were still that person."

Alex shook her head and turned away. "Regina, I know who I am."

"Do you? I see someone who’s a good person. You went way above what anyone would have expected when you helped me these past few weeks." Regina moved closer to Alex. "I won’t lie. I don’t like what you did, but I didn’t know you then," and then spoke more softly. "I know you now and I’m glad I do, Alex."

Alex hung her head, incredulous as she heard the words. God knows, I don’t deserve this. "I’m glad I know you too, Regina."

Any other words seemed meaningless, so they sat beside each other listening to the water lap up against the sides of the pier. She could sense Alex’s vulnerability lying exposed and raw just beneath the surface. Regina watched as Alex drew her knees up and leaned her head back against the piling, closing her eyes.

Regina kept seeing images of Alex as she sat beside her. That first day in the ER when she came storming out of one of the rooms, and how incredibly intimidated she had been of the doctor. She remembered the day that Alex drove her home, when she’d been so sick from the medication and the night Justin died and Alex held her in the pouring rain; that was the person she knew, the one she wanted to believe Alex was now. Regina squeezed Alex’s hand and leaned closer to her. "Alex?"

"Hmm. What?" Alex had been quietly soaking up the warmth of Regina’s hand on hers, afraid if she opened her eyes, she would find that this moment was just a figment of her imagination.

"Let’s go back to the apartment." Regina stood up, and slipped her hand under Alex’s chin, lifting her face to hers. Regina couldn’t help herself as she pressed her lips gently against Alex’s forehead. Alex blinked her eyes open and looked up at Regina as she pulled away.

Regina smiled at her, stepping back as Alex pulled herself up to her feet and stood facing her. "Come on," she said, as she turned and started to walk back down the pier.

Alex stood staring after Regina for a long moment, before her brain finally got the message to her legs that she needed to start walking; she jogged a few steps to catch up with the shorter woman. The two walked quietly alongside each other, Alex trying to make some sense of the complicated emotions running through her. Oh chill out, you idiot, she’s just trying to be nice. Don’t go reading anything into that kiss. Besides, you know exactly what you have to do tomorrow…just let it go.

Alex couldn’t let it go because Regina had kept gently reminding her what it felt like to be able to trust someone again with those emotions that she had locked safely away deep inside of her. She promised herself she wouldn’t let anyone get that close to her again.

Alex felt a smile tugging at her lips as she walked behind Regina. She really was glad she knew Regina. She admired her strength and intelligence; her stubborn resilience and gentle sense of humor drew Alex to her, and she realized that she enjoyed having Regina as a friend…or even a lover. Lover? She tripped over a piece of slate as they turned into the driveway, mercifully caught herself and looked down at Regina’s questioning look.

"Alex?"

"What?" She blinked, trying to reign in her errant thoughts, realizing she hadn’t heard her name being called the first time.

"The keys. You know, those things on your key chain, so we can get inside." Regina smiled up at her impishly.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry," Alex mumbled and unlocked the door. She followed Regina up the stairs and into the apartment. She desperately needed something to occupy her mind, so she walked over to her bag and pulled out a pair of scissors and tweezers. Standing up, Alex turned around to find Regina watching her.

"Uh, what are you doing with those?" Regina pointed to the instruments in her hands.

"I’m taking my stitches out." Alex walked over to the couch, sat down and pulled her sneakers off.

"It hasn’t been ten days yet."

"I know, but it’s healed," Alex awkwardly tried to reach the spot on her ankle with the tweezers where the stitches were.

Regina sat down beside her. "Let me take them out."

Alex stopped and looked up. "Why?"

"Because you couldn’t reach down there, to put them in. You’ll just cut yourself," Regina pointed out, and took the tweezers from her hands. Several minutes later, Regina sat back and looked up at Alex, realizing she had been watching her the whole time.

Regina set the tweezers down behind her on the table. "That was simple, wasn’t it?"

Alex nodded her head slowly. "Thanks."

"For what?" Regina asked, feeling her mouth go dry as she felt Alex studying her intently.

"For caring about me." Alex’s voice was quiet as she leaned forward, reaching out a hand and tracing her fingers down Regina’s jaw. "And for being my friend." Alex cupped her fingers underneath her chin, raising Regina’s face to hers, searching her eyes.

Regina felt like her heart was going to hammer its way through her chest, as she looked back at Alex.

Alex leaned closer, pressing her lips to Regina’s, tentatively at first, then slowly deepening the kiss as Regina’s lips parted in invitation. She traced the curve of her lips with the tip of her tongue. Pulling back, Alex looked into Regina’s green eyes, so close she could see the starburst of color around her pupils.

Regina looked back at Alex through slightly unfocused eyes. She circled a trembling hand around Alex’s neck, feeling her silky hair flow between her fingers as she drew Alex’s mouth down to hers.

They kissed slowly, again and again, exploring and tasting each other. Alex slipped her arm around Regina’s waist, easing her back onto the couch. Lowering her body onto the smaller woman, Alex watched the blonde woman’s eyes, as their bodies came together. She felt Regina shudder beneath her at the contact and buried her face in Regina’s hair, inhaling the fragrance of her, as she kissed her throat and nuzzled the skin beneath her ear.

"Oh god, Alex," Regina whispered, as she felt a powerful stirring of desire deep inside her. The intensity left her feeling vulnerable and she pulled back, looking up uncertainly into Alex’s eyes.

"It’s all right," Alex whispered, holding onto her.

Regina pressed her body against Alex, slipping her arms around her waist, sliding her hands up over her back and pulling her tightly against her.

Pressing up on her elbows, Alex raised her hands to Regina’s face, running her fingertips over her eyebrows, tracing the gentle contours of her cheekbones, memorizing each detail as she went. She tilted her head and grazed her lips along Regina’s jaw, sending tiny electric shocks racing up and down Regina’s spine. Alex heard the woman moan softly and wrapped her arms tightly around her, pulling her close and feeling the heat between their bodies as they touched.

She lowered her mouth to Regina’s, tasting her, as she kissed her way across her lips. Alex tugged gently on her lower lip, pulling it into her mouth and running her tongue across it.

The taller woman shifted her weight and unfastened the buttons on Regina’s shirt; she ran her fingers down Regina’s throat and brushed the cotton shirt back off her shoulders. Her tongue followed her fingers and Regina arched against her, moaning into Alex’s throat.

Regina tugged Alex’s shirt from her jeans and slipped her hands underneath, running her palms over her back, feeling the strength beneath her hands. She let her hands trail down over her ribs, as Alex raised up and looked down at Regina.

Alex moved her hands over Regina’s body, gently caressing her hips and thighs. She ran her hand up her inner thigh and pressed her palm against her, through the fabric of her jeans, watching as Regina gasped and closed her eyes, arching against her hand and whimpering at her touch. When she opened her eyes and focused on her, Alex leaned over her.

"What’s wrong?" she asked, seeing the flicker of fear in them. She rested her hand on Regina’s hip.

Regina bit her lower lip and turned her head away, closing her eyes. "I’m sorry, Alex." She took a breath, trying to control her pounding heart. "It’s just…" Regina lowered her head, pulling her eyes away from Alex and giving herself a moment to collect her thoughts. She remembered the bloody needle piercing her skin, the pills she’d forgotten to take today and her desire ebbed away as she looked up at Alex and realized what they were about to do. "Alex, we shouldn’t do this."

"I thought you," Alex stopped, thinking. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" She finally asked, pulling her hand back and looking seriously at Regina.

Her voice was a whisper. "No. Its just, well, I don’t know what’s going to happen with the rest of the tests. I know six weeks is a good sign, but that could change. We both know that, Alex."

Alex hung her head and took a breath, letting it out slowly, feeling the desire in her body fade painfully into a vague ache. "It’ll be alright as long as we don’t," she hesitated, "have oral sex." She lay down beside Regina and looked at her.

Regina nodded her head. "I know." She closed her eyes. "I’m sorry, Alex. I just, I can’t." Her gaze traveled back up to Alex’s face. "I don’t want anything to happen to you," she said, wondering if Alex believed her or thought she had just strung her along. Regina rolled away from Alex and sat up. Her hands trembling, she buttoned her shirt and leaned against the arm of the couch, staring out the window into the darkness.

Alex watched as Regina turned away from her. Truth be told she hadn’t even thought about the damn needle stick. She ran her finger over the cushion tracing an abstract design as she lay there on her side thinking. Damn. You’re such an idiot, Alex. Maybe next time you should ask before you leap. First, she finds out you used to deal drugs and then you come on to her like that. What the hell were you thinking?

Alex looked up at Regina, sitting with her back to her. She pushed herself up and sat next to her on the couch; she hesitated, then leaned over her and brushed a tear from Regina’s cheek. "Hey, it’s ok, Regina. I didn’t even think about it. Some doctor I am, right?" Alex joked, trying to get Regina to smile without success. Oh boy. You really messed this up Alex. She reached for Regina’s hand, interlacing their fingers together.

"Regina?" She leaned forward to see her face.

The blonde stood up, walked over to the sliding door, pulled it open and stepped outside. Alex followed and stood quietly beside her. "Regina, are you all right?"

"Yes." Her voice was hardly more than a whisper.

"No, I don’t think you are."

"I’m ok. Really." Regina turned away from Alex. Her emotions were raw and she swallowed, trying to push down the tears that threatened to start falling.

The doctor stood very still behind her. Tentatively she reached out a hand and rested it softly on Regina’s shoulder.

The touch completely undid her resolve. Regina took a breath and a sob escaped unbidden from her throat. The floodgates opened and her shoulders shook with the intensity of the emotions running through her.

"Come here." Alex turned Regina around and pulled her into a hug. "I’m sorry. I thought you wanted…I’m sorry. "

Regina nodded her head against Alex’s chest. "No Alex, it is what I want." Regina said, fingering the front of the tear-stained sweatshirt covering Alex’s body.

Alex moved her hand over Regina’s back in a comforting motion, holding her until she felt her breathing return back to normal. "Feel better?" She bent her head forward, brushing her lips against Regina’s hair, feeling the smaller woman relax against her.

"Yeah, I do, thanks," Regina whispered, feeling the barest pressure against her head as she closed her eyes.

"We should get some sleep." Alex hesitated, looking down at Regina standing pressed up against her. "I’ll hold you while you sleep if you want me to."

Regina tightened her arms around Alex’s waist. "I’d like that, Alex," she said, and let herself be led into the apartment.

Regina disappeared into the bathroom to change, while Alex slipped into her tee shirt and crawled into bed. She lay on her back with both arms behind her head, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what twist of fate brought them together. Alex turned her head as Regina lay down beside her and smiled shyly. "I’m sorry, Alex."

"No, don’t say anything, it’s all right, Regina." She waited until Regina was settled and then reached up and turned the light off on the nightstand. "Goodnight, Regina."

The bed shifted and Regina slowly nestled in against her, resting her head on Alex’s shoulder. "Goodnight, Alex."

They lay that way, both slowly drifting off to sleep.

Chapter Thirteen

Alex’s mind slowly roused her from her slumber. Opening her eyes, she blinked and groaned inwardly as she saw the sun streaming in the through the sliding glass window. She had every intention of getting up and going running this morning, figured it would be a good way to give her some time to think before she needed to face the realities of the new day. So much for that idea, Alex thought, as she reached out and groped for her watch lying on the night table. Staring at it, she realized that it had been a long time since she slept this late, let alone through the night.

Shifting her body, aware of the comforting warmth pressed up against her side, Alex glanced down at Regina, lying nestled against her shoulder. After last night, she wasn’t sure how Regina would feel if she woke to find her body draped over Alex, one arm wrapped snuggly around her waist and her leg thrown intimately over Alex’s thigh. Not that she minded, Alex thought wryly; nope not one bit at all, the rest of her body gladly chimed in.

Oh quit that. She knew that her own feelings were deeper than just physical attraction. She really did like Regina. That was the problem. Hell, Regina was involved with a man before she met you. No, she’d been with straight women before. Huh uh, no way, been there, done that, moved on. You’re not making that mistake again. It was safer for her to tell herself that it was nothing more than a fleeting interest and the feelings she had would pass with time. Alex quickly decided as Regina shifted in her sleep that neither of them needed to deal with the fact that they had quite comfortably curled up around each other during the night. As gently as she could, trying not to wake her, Alex disentangled herself from Regina’s snug embrace and sat on the edge of the bed.

She looked over her shoulder at the blonde and shook her head, wondering what in hell it was that the younger woman saw in her. Yes, she managed to get her life back on track, barely. She knew she was a good doctor, but that certainly didn’t change who she was or what she’d done in her past. In fact, based on the little that she knew, she and Regina were about as opposite as two people could get. With a shake of her head, Alex stood up and stretched. She walked into the bathroom to take a shower - a nice, long, cold shower.

A few minutes later, Regina woke up to the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. She stretched and yawned, rolling over onto her stomach. Yesterday seemed like it happened an eternity ago. She pulled a pillow under her shoulders, crossed her arms over it and buried her face in its softness, as she stifled another yawn. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, and the scent of Alex’s perfume filled her senses. The memory of sitting on the couch as Alex reached out and touched her face, her eyes looking right through her, replayed in her mind and made her shiver involuntarily.

The intense feeling that flowed through her and settled in the pit of her belly as her body remembered Alex’s gentle touch and soft kisses startled Regina. Ok, obviously you’re attracted to her.

It wasn’t a foreign concept to Regina. She knew that she could love a woman. She’d been attracted to other women in the past, and endured the usual assortment of crushes on some of her female friends growing up, but she never acted on any of the feelings that she experienced. When she thought about a relationship with a woman in the context of how it would impact her family, friends, plans for her career, indeed every facet of her life, she found herself holding back; until now, that is. Despite everything that she was afraid of and everything that she knew about Alex, Regina still found herself irresistibly drawn to the doctor.

The blonde lifted her head up and let her gaze fall outside the window, as she remembered Alex lying there beside her in the bed. It was so easy to just curl up next to her and fall asleep once she got over her initial shyness. She hadn’t even given it a second thought when she felt the older woman slip her arm over her shoulder and pull her closer.

Thoughts of Alex, her now familiar gestures, the strength that carried through in her every movement, and an image of her crystal blue eyes, lit up by that dazzling smile when she let it cross her lips filled Regina’s mind. She shook her head and flopped over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Well, you certainly don’t have a wealth of experience in this department Regina, she thought wryly, and your timing couldn’t possibly be any worse.

"You’re up." Regina lifted her head to see Alex dressed in jeans and a white shirt standing at the foot of the bed, watching her, as she towel dried her hair.

Alex shook her head and draped the towel over her shoulder. Her damp hair framed her angular face and her eyes sparkled in the morning sunlight that was streaming through the window.

"Uh, yeah." Regina realized she was staring and pulled her eyes away, wondering how long Alex had been standing there at the foot of the bed before she said something. She quickly pushed herself up and sat over the edge of the bed, staring down at the floor.

"Alex, I’m sorry about last night." Regina brought a hand up to her throat and rubbed the front of her neck. It was a nervous gesture that she did automatically, but she stopped as she felt an uncharacteristic tenderness on both sides of her neck, just under her jaw. Her heart fluttered in her chest and she sat very still as her world suddenly closed in on her.

"You don’t need to explain anything to me, Regina." Alex walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I understand." You’re probably the first person I’ve ever met who’s worried about that. Doesn’t say much for me. With all I’ve done, you have more to worry about from me than I do you. "Listen." Alex stared down at her hands. "If you want to talk later Regina, let me know." She looked over at Regina and smiled faintly. "Hey, are you ok?" She looked closely at Regina’s face. "You’re as pale as a ghost."

Regina nodded her head absently, dropping her hand down into her lap. "Yeah, yeah I’m fine," she said, glancing quickly up at Alex.

"Ok, well," Alex stood up and turned around, "I have to go over to Dana’s store."

Regina shifted her attention outward and looked up at Alex. "Why?"

"Regina, I told you what I have to do." Alex looked down at her. "I’m probably going to be gone most of the day." She dug into her pocket and held out her hand to Regina. "I’ll leave the keys to the truck, if you want to go down to the beach or something today."

Regina stood up from the bed. "Alex, let me come with you."

"No." Alex shook her head and stepped back. "You’re not coming with me Regina, so don’t even try and argue with me about it."

"But-" Regina tried again.

Alex cut her off. "No. You promise me you won’t go there today. I don’t want Dana to be able to hurt you Regina."

"What about you, Alex?" Regina asked, suddenly wondering if Alex just didn’t want her around because of what happened between them last night.

"I’ll be fine," the taller woman assured her, before she left the apartment.

******

Regina sat in the silence of the apartment and stared at the wall. After Alex left, she took a shower and forced herself to eat something so she could take the AZT and 3TC that she was taking in the hopes of reducing the chances that her body would develop the HIV antibodies. She tried so hard not to be angry with Marcus, realizing that it was an accident, but right now she wanted to scream at him and if he had been standing in front of her she would have beaten him senseless with her fists.

She walked out of the bathroom and grabbed Alex’s keys off the table. Running down the stairs, Regina hopped into the truck and squealed the tires as she pulled out of the driveway. In a daze, she followed the signs to Race Point Beach.

There were a fair number of people at the beach already, so Regina walked for a long time until she found a deserted place far away from the sounds of people playing touch football and generally having a good time. Regina slumped down on the sand and leaned back against a large piece of driftwood and stared out at the waves, watching them swell and curl, breaking on the beach in a wash of foam. So this is how it starts. If she ever felt lower in her life she couldn’t remember.

"Son of a bitch. I can’t believe this is happening," her voice cracked and the tears started to fall. She covered her mouth with her hand and rocked back and forth. The raw emotion passed after a time and she wrapped her arms tightly around her body. Maybe I’m just getting a bad cold. It was possible, right? Yeah right, Regina. Seven years of college, three years of residencies and you haven’t missed one goddamn day because you’ve been sick.

All right, come on, be rational. You’re a doctor. So what! You’re twenty-nine years old, her mind screamed back. This can’t be happening, oh god, please don’t let this happen!

Regina pulled her legs up to her chest and closed her eyes. Twenty-nine and it felt like her world was spinning wildly out of control. Her life was completely out of balance and there wasn’t one facet of it that she felt she was in control of right now.

Her family? If they were still talking to her it would be a miracle. She’d left in the middle of the night after an ugly fight with her mother, leaving a note, telling them that she couldn’t stay. Who knew what her mother told to her father. She hadn’t meant to say anything to her mother about her feelings. There was no reason to, except that she was tired of living up to her mother’s expectation’s of who she thought her daughter should be.

Professionally, she was standing on a tight rope until Monday. It was anybody’s guess what the board would decide. She hoped Jeffrey was right about the hospital not wanting to make them into scapegoats.

She stared out at the water as another sudden realization came to her making her heart skip a beat. Derrick. He had been driving up to her parent’s house and that meant he knew she had left there. Would he try and find her here? Could he find her?

Regina looked up, realizing for the first time that the sun was beginning its descent into the western sky. She’d been at the beach for hours and run the gamut of emotions, which left her exhausted as she walked back to Alex’s Jeep. She slid into the driver’s seat, settled back into the leather and closed her eyes, wondering if Alex was back at the apartment yet. She said if she wanted to talk to let her know. Regina shook her head. She did, but she wasn’t even sure she knew what she would say to Alex, knowing what she did.

******

Alex walked along the street heading toward the West End of town. She needed to make one stop before she went to the store. Even though it surprised her that Regina didn’t put up more of a fight, she was glad that she hadn’t. The truth of the matter was she couldn’t bring herself to do the things she would have to do if Regina was with her. She didn’t want her to have to see that side of her. It was bad enough that Dana slipped something into her drink the other night. No, she couldn’t let Regina get any closer than she was already. Maybe it was better that nothing happened, leaving no tangled emotions to deal with later. Best to just get the kid home.

Alex turned down a narrow side street and stopped in front of the gray two-story cape that sat at the end of the cul-de-sac. She walked up the worn concrete steps to the front door. The doorbell was broken and exposed wires poked through the faded shingles. Alex knocked loudly on the door with her knuckles and waited. When there was no answer, she banged on it again with her fist. She stepped back off the front porch, and looked up at the second story window; frowning, she climbed the steps again and turned the doorknob. It was unlocked so she pushed the door open.

The brunette stepped inside, shutting the door quietly behind her. She looked warily around the first floor of the house. All the shades were pulled down and the downstairs was hidden in a blur of gray shadows. She wrinkled her nose as stale beer and the heavy scent of marijuana reached her nose as she walked through the living room. stepping over a pile of dirty laundry.

Damn it Richard, why did you have to tie one on last night? Well, I hope you’re not too hung over because I’m coming up there anyway. Alex checked out the rest of the rooms on the first floor. They were all empty. You must be getting old Richard. In earlier years, it wouldn’t have been just dirty laundry lying scattered on your floor.

Quietly, Alex walked up the darkened stairwell to the second floor. There were two bedrooms at the top, one to the left of the stairs and the other to the right. Both the bedroom doors were closed. She opened the door to the one on the left and looked in. Empty. Come on Richard. Be here.

She turned the knob to the door of the other room and found Richard sprawled naked on the bed. Alex shook her head and walked over to him. She clamped a hand on his shoulder and shook him roughly.

"Wake up, Richard."

He grunted and rolled away from her. "Come on, Richard. I don’t have time for you to nurse your damn hangover." Alex nudged him roughly in the middle of his back.

The sleeping man moaned and rolled onto his back, his hand reaching up for her. She slapped his groping hand away. "Open your eyes you idiot. I’m not your damn boyfriend."

"Jesus." He blinked his eyes open and realized he wasn’t alone. "Don’t you knock, Alex?" Richard scrambled up in the bed and pulled the covers up over his waist.

Alex folded her arms over her chest. "I did. You were passed out, so I let myself in." She watched as he fumbled around for something else to throw on his naked body. "Do you need a moment to uh, get yourself together, Richard?" She couldn’t keep herself from smirking at his obvious discomfort.

"You’re such a bitch, Alex," he whined.

"Really, and you’re just figuring that out now? I’m disappointed, I thought you were quicker than that, Richard." She pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket and shoved it in his face. She waited as he read the words scribbled on it. "Do you have it?"

He looked up at her and tilted his head. "I didn’t think you were into that kind of stuff, Alex."

She ignored his remark and repeated her question. "Do you have it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Give me a minute to put something on. I’ll meet you downstairs." He pulled the comforter off the bed and wrapped it around himself as he stood up and walked over to his closet.

Alex rolled her eyes, walked downstairs and waited in the kitchen, staring out the window into the tiny yard; as Richard entered the room, she turned her head, pushed off the wall and walked over to him. She reached her hand out to take the glass ampoule and the syringe he was holding.

"How much?"

"A hundred dollars."

Alex pulled her wallet out and handed the money to him.

"So, what are you doing with this Alex?" He asked, as he tucked the money she handed him into his pocket.

"None of your business, Richard."

His eyes gleamed and he leaned closer. "What’s wrong, the little blonde one not submitting to your charms, Alex?"

Alex carefully set the vial down on the table and slowly turned around. Her eyes were dark with anger when she faced him and instinctively he stepped back. "You pathetic, piece of shit." She grabbed him around his throat and shoved him up against the wall. "Don’t you ever talk about her that way."

Richard’s eyes bulged and he clutched at Alex’s fingers trying to pry them away from his throat. "I was only joking," he croaked, as she let him go. He slumped against the wall, gasping for air and rubbing his throat.

"You would joke about it, Richard. Sex is just a game to you, it always has been." Alex grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her. "Regina knows more about caring for someone than you’d figure out in three lifetimes."

He stared at the dark-haired woman for a minute and then smiled. "Go to hell, Alex. You’re no better than I am."

"I didn’t say I was." She pushed him away from her, picked up the vial from the table and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind her. She could hear glass shattering against the door as he threw something after her.

******

It was late afternoon by the time Alex walked down the alley that bordered the store Lana had left to her. The brunette leaned against the side of the building, hidden in the shadows, waiting until several couples that had been walking behind passed her by. Nervously, she slipped the syringe and vial out of her pocket and twisted the cap off, holding it between her teeth as she tipped the vial and filled the syringe with the clear fluid. Alex recapped the syringe, slid it into her back pocket and walked up the alley.

The store was empty when Alex opened the door and slipped quietly inside. She immediately spotted Dana perched on a stool behind the counter, reading a paperback. A pack of Marlboros lay open on the glass counter top and several partially burned cigarette butts already littered the ashtray.

Alex let the door shut behind her, not bothering to keep it from banging as it did. "Slow day, Dana?" She asked, walking slowly over to the counter, keeping her eyes trained on Dana the whole way.

Dana looked up over the cover of her book and raised an eyebrow. "Well, well, look at what the cat dragged in." Dana tilted her head to the side and peered behind Alex. "So, where’s the little blonde?" She asked, setting the book down on the glass counter top, regarding Alex with feigned disinterest.

Alex shrugged her shoulders, stopping on the other side of the counter directly in front of Dana. "Not here." She leaned an elbow on the glass. Alex picked up the pack of Marlboros and shook one of the cigarettes out into her hand. "You’re smoking again."

"Yeah. So what?"

"You shouldn’t be, not after Lana."

"Give it a rest Alex, you are not my keeper." Dana snatched the pack of cigarettes back from her.

Holding the cigarette between her lips, Alex lit the end, and took a drag, slowly exhaling the smoke into Dana’s face. "You didn’t need to slip that pill in Regina’s drink the other night. That was a pretty stupid thing to do."

"Like I give a crap, Alex? Quit the lecture, already." Dana waved her hand in irritation. "Why are you here?"

Alex leaned forward, resting her elbows on the counter and tapped the ashes from her cigarette into the ashtray. "I was thinking that maybe we could discuss the store." She ran a finger up the bare skin of Dana’s arm. She lifted her head and looked into Dana’s eyes. "See if we could come to some sort of an…equitable solution."

Dana eyed her suspiciously. She pulled her arm away from Alex’s touch and slid off the stool. "Don’t bullshit me, Alex. The only person you were ever good about looking after was yourself." She looked Alex over and crossed her arms in front of her.

Alex pushed off the counter and walked over to the shelf at the back of the room. "Well, you did extend the offer of a private party, Dana. So, I’m taking you up on it." She picked up a book of matches, ripping one off from the cover and dragging it across the black strip. It flared, and the smell of sulfur dissipated as the small flame sputtered to life. Alex turned, casually leaning back against the wall and looked at Dana with a smile on her face. She twirled the lit match back and forth between her fingers. "Or did you change your mind?"

She waited as Dana walked out from behind the counter. "Business is slow. Why don’t you lock up for the day?" Alex turned back to the shelf and lit the second candle from the left. She smiled to herself as she heard the latch click in the lock and the lights dimmed at the front of the store. Now we’ll see how you like it when the tables are turned, Dana.

She was aware of Dana walking up behind her, as she pursed her lips and blew the match out. Alex turned around and looked at her for a moment. Dana was a good-looking woman, but the years of abusing her body were beginning to show. Short, spiky blonde hair framed her small face and green eyes sparkled back at her, as the candlelight flickered from behind Alex’s shoulder. Alex took Dana’s hand and led her up the stairs to the small apartment above the store.

Dana slipped the key into the lock and opened the door; Alex let her walk past her and followed her inside to stand in the middle of the small kitchen. The brunette slipped her jacket off and hung it on the back of one of the chairs. She watched as Dana walked over to one of the kitchen cabinets and fished around in the back of it, pulling out a mirror and a razor blade. The woman then sat down at the small table and poured some of the white powder onto the mirror, efficiently cutting a few lines of cocaine.

"Come on, Alex, you know you want it. Go ahead, take it." Dana slid the mirror over to Alex and smiled up at her. "I won’t tell."

The doctor recognized the look as one of those sexy and seductive smiles that Dana used on her so many times before when she let herself be lured in. The line was clearly drawn and Alex could feel the old demons rising and tugging at her, inviting her to cross over again. For a few seconds, she held Dana’s gaze, then slowly reached a trembling hand out and pushed the mirror away from her.

"No, that’s not why I’m here, Dana." Alex leaned away, closing her eyes, forcing herself to breathe slowly. You don’t need this. Just get done what you need to do and get the hell out of here.

"Oh what – is the good doctor all reformed now? Maybe it’s just all an act for Regina to buy until you’re finished with her," Dana sneered, enjoying the fact that Alex was still tempted by the lure of the drugs.

Alex’s eyes snapped open at the mention of the blonde’s name. "No. I don’t need that stuff anymore, Dana. It almost killed me last time."

"Yeah, whatever, Alex." Dana pulled the mirror back to her, bent forward and quickly snorted the lines of crystalline powder.

Alex felt like someone hit her across the back of the head with a two by four as memories flooded her mind. She stared at Dana’s face, seeing the white powdery residue around the outer edge of one of her nostrils.

"So why are you here, Alex?" Dana leaned forward on her elbows and stared at the woman sitting across from her. She sniffed and wiped her nose with her fingers; reveling in the intense high she was experiencing.

"I already told you." She stood up and walked around the table toward Dana. Reaching for her hand, she pulled Dana to her feet and slipped a hand behind her neck; she pulled her mouth to hers and kissed her roughly. Dana moaned and pressed into Alex, responding to her own body’s rising desire.

The doctor led Dana down the short hallway and into the bedroom, where she wrapped her hands around the blonde’s waist, turned her around, backed her up to the bed, and let the mattress buckle the smaller woman’s knees. She lowered the woman onto her back and pinned her underneath her weight, as she continued to kiss her.

Alex pressed her body into Dana, spreading her legs and sliding her thigh up against her. She felt Dana clutch at her shoulders and rise up against her body, and in response Alex ducked her head and nipped at the skin on her throat.

Alex quickly tugged Dana’s shirt free from her pants and without hesitation ran her hand up the soft skin of her stomach and over her breasts, eliciting a moan from the woman. Dana tried to reach down to pull Alex up to her for another kiss, but the brunette grabbed her hand and pushed her arm back down to the mattress roughly.

"No."

The blonde growled in frustration, bucking her hips as Alex reached down to undo the buttons on Dana’s pants, bending over her and kissing the sensitive skin beneath her navel. Dana moaned and rolled her head back and forth, clamping her hands down on Alex’s shoulders in response.

Alex ran her hand down Dana’s thigh. Then calmly, she reached behind into the back pocket of her jeans, pulled out the hypodermic needle and twisted the cap off easily with her fingers. She distracted the woman easily by ducking her head, to kiss her neck again, pressing her thigh up in between her legs and rubbing against her.

Alex raised her body up and looked down at Dana – the woman’s eyes were closed and her neck was arched, burying her head back into the pillow. It was so easy.

The doctor ran her palm up the inside of Dana’s arm, stopping at her elbow and circling the sensitive skin with her fingertips; Dana grunted as the small needle penetrated expertly into the vein. Alex smoothly depressed the plunger, then watched with satisfaction as Dana’s body relaxed into the quick effect of the drug.

Alex carefully pushed herself back off the bed, picked up the cap from the sheets and quietly replaced it on the used needle. She slipped the hypodermic into her jacket pocket and scowled at Dana’s prone form. That’s for Regina, you bitch.

The dark woman walked out of the bedroom and over to the sink in the kitchen where she leaned heavily against it, her legs trembling from the adrenaline running though her system. She turned the cold water on and cupped her hands under the stream to bring a drink to her mouth; instead of drinking it, however, she sucked the water into her mouth and spat it back out into the sink, attempting to spit out Dana’s taste. She then washed her hands and her face, trying to rid her skin of the stench of Dana’s perfume. But she curled her lip in disgust when she raised her arm to her nose and smelled the perfume clinging to her clothes, assaulting her senses and refusing to let go, just like Dana.

The brunette turned and walked back to the bedroom, to stand at the door looking in at the woman sleeping obliviously on the bed; Alex studied her briefly, watching her chest rise and fall in a normal rhythm. Now, all she needed to do was find the book that she knew Dana kept hidden in the apartment.

It took her most of the afternoon and early evening to find what she was looking for: the little black book filled with all of Dana’s contacts. One thing about Dana was that she always had connections, and apparently, they had broadened significantly since Alex worked for her years ago. When she finally uncovered the book, she ran her finger down the entries and found a familiar name. Picking up the phone, she dialed the number and listened to it ring three times before the answering machine picked up.

The message was simple and Alex desperately hoped as she set the phone back in the cradle that Dana still set her drug deals up the same way. She walked back to the bedroom to check the passed out woman’s pulse and breathing - she would be fine, if a little groggy when she woke up, and completely devoid of any memory of today’s events.

Alex bent over and untied Dana’s shoes, pulling them off and dumping them on the floor. Well Dana, when Tommy comes to pick up his stuff tomorrow, the cops will be right behind him. They always knew you were dealing drugs out of this store, but could never prove it. One more phone call and it’s all over. Hope you enjoy the accommodations in the state penitentiary.

Alex sat back down at the table. She looked down at the bag of cocaine lying there and picked it up, quietly fingering the plastic baggie that held it. That very subtle base craving nudged at her seductively.

"Come on, Alex you know you want it. Go ahead, take it." She could hear Dana’s voice tempting her and she gripped the bag, throwing it angrily down on the table. Alex stared across the room, wondering if it really was ever going to be over. She lifted her body out of the chair and walked out of the apartment.

As she shut the door behind her, she felt an overwhelming urge to get back to Regina. The thought of just being with her made some of the pain Alex was feeling inside fade away. She ran down the steps and headed back to the apartment.

Regina returned to an empty apartment. Still feeling emotionally dragged out and tired, she collapsed on the bed and fallen into a fitful asleep. It was dark out and raining when she woke hours later, finding herself still alone in the apartment. Regina felt a vague, unsettling feeling that something was wrong as she sat up from the bed.

The young doctor stood up from the bed, walked into the bathroom, and turned the light on. She looked at her face in the mirror and leaned heavily on the sink. "Shit." She could feel fever attacking her body; her face was flushed and she felt like her movements were slow and clumsy. Oh Alex, please get back here. I need you. I’m scared.

Regina gave up trying to be patient, telling herself that Alex would be back anytime now. She paced anxiously back and forth across the wooden floor, then stopped at the sliding glass door to stare at her reflection. She listened to the rain as it pelted the ground outside and watched it run down the outside of the glass.

She sighed heavily. Alex did say she would be gone most of the day. Well the day had come and gone, and she still wasn’t back.

"Damn it Alex, where are you?" Regina asked aloud. Decision made, she turned and grabbed the spare keys off the kitchen counter.

She locked the apartment door behind her and walked down the narrow hallway to the stairs before she heard the hinges of the screen door squeak open and the sound of a key turning in the lock. Thank god. Turning the corner, Regina stepped down onto the small landing.

"Alex, what took you so long?"

Regina stopped dead in her tracks, feeling her heart jump up into her throat. She froze, staring like a deer caught in the headlight of an oncoming car.

"Hello, Regina." Derrick leered up at her from the bottom of the steps. He was a terrifying sight. His hair was plastered to his forehead with rain and his blue sweatshirt from the police academy was soaked and clinging to his muscular shoulders. "Sorry to disappoint you, Regina, but Alex isn’t with me," Derrick drawled, slowly climbing the stairs toward Regina, pinning her down with his eyes.

Regina’s body finally responded to her brain’s frantic message to take flight and run. Pivoting on her feet, she fled back down the hallway toward the apartment door. Her hands shook and she cursed herself as she fumbled for the right key. She finally got it and put it in the lock just as she heard Derrick reach the top of the staircase and call her name out in a singsong voice. Pushing the door open, she stepped quickly through and into the kitchen.

She turned to close the door, hearing the pounding footfalls of Derrick sprinting down the hallway after her. Regina felt the rush of air behind her, just before he tackled her through the open door. The impact against the molding cracked her chin, splitting the skin open; blood welled and began to ooze out. Her legs turned to jelly and she crumpled to the floor, gasping for breath. Rough hands grabbed the keys away from her and tossed them across the room, far out of reach. Regina watched helplessly as they clattered across the wooden floor and slid underneath the couch. She grunted, struggling against Derrick as he pinned her, face down, on the hard floor.

"Did you think I couldn’t find you, Regina? You used your credit card to buy the plane tickets to get here. Stupid, very stupid." Derrick’s breath was hot on her face, as he straddled her body, pinning her arms painfully behind her back. He hauled her to her feet and spun her around, slamming her up against the wall. "You should be thankful I didn’t tell your parents where I found you. You’re mother would be devastated. Is that what you want?" He yanked her face to his.

"Derrick, let me go." Regina struggled against his grip. She winced as his hands clamped painfully down on her wrists in a vice-like grip. Biting back tears, she slammed her foot down onto his instep. He immediately grunted and loosened his grip, just enough for her to wrench herself away from him. She staggered backwards, putting the kitchen table between them.

Regina held onto a chair and pressed the palm of her other hand against her bloody and swollen chin. Dazed, she stared incredulously at the blood on her hand.

Derrick curled his lip menacingly as he advanced on her. "What did she do to you? Give you drugs or something to get you to come to her? What spell does she have you under, Regina?" Derrick asked, as he stepped forward, slowly closing the distance between them.

Regina’s eyes darted to the door. "Stay away from me, Derrick." Her voice trembled, her terror betraying her. She needed to get to the door, but the space between her and Derrick was too narrow for her to get by him.

He edged closer, watching her eyes and laughing as he realized what Regina was thinking. He lunged at her quickly and Regina ducked to avoid him, but got caught as his arm snaked out and wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Not so fast, Regina." Despite her struggles, he was dragging her back to the couch and she knew with frightening certainty what he intended to do to her.

He pushed her roughly onto the couch and pinned her down with his hands. "You never complained when we were together, Regina. Did your tastes change or do you just like it both ways now?" he asked, leering down at her.

"Go to hell, Derrick," Regina snarled back at him, struggling against his weight. A wave of anger washed over her as she saw him working his belt buckle loose. Regina braced her heels against the couch and slammed her knee up between his legs with all her strength. She felt her knee catch him high up on the inside of his thigh.

Derrick yelped and folded over, crumpling to the floor, moaning in pain with his hand clutching his crotch. Regina’s mind screamed at her to move. Pushing off the couch, she stumbled over his grasping hand toward the door.

Fear and adrenaline pumped through her veins, propelling her forward. She ran down the hallway, grabbing the wall and whipping around the corner. She almost lost her balance as she missed the first step, except that she clutched desperately at the railing, catching herself and wrenching her shoulder painfully in the process.

"Regina! Get back here." She heard Derrick shouting from inside the apartment.

Move! Regina found her feet and fled down the steps, slamming the screen door open against the side of the house. She barreled headlong into Alex, knocking her off her feet and into a puddle, onto the rain-soaked ground.

"Hey!" Alex rolled over and scrambled to her feet, catching Regina’s arm and spinning her around. "What the hell is going on?" Her voice trailed off as she saw the fear etched on her face and heard the angry voice from inside the apartment.

Alex let go of Regina’s arm and turned, cocking her head as she recognized the now familiar male voice. She was edgy and in a foul mood anyway. Now, she had an excuse to vent her frustrations.

Alex heard Derrick running down the stairs and slipped up beside the door, standing in the shadows. As he burst through the screen door, she stuck her foot out, sending him crashing headlong into the fence. Alex let out a deep laugh as she watched him roll over and climb unsteadily to his feet. He staggered as he turned around to face her.

"You know, you’ve got to watch that last step, Derrick." Alex smiled wickedly at him. "It really is a bitch." She caught Regina standing on the outskirts of her peripheral vision, clutching the mirror of her Jeep, and breathing heavily. The light from inside the stairwell reflected off Regina’s face and Alex could see the blood staining her chin and the front of her shirt. Her eyes flicked back to Derrick and she clenched her fists as anger welled up and boiled over. "You bastard. What did you do to her?"

Derrick growled and lunged at her. Alex easily sidestepped him and hooked him under his arm, using his momentum to slam him into the side of the house. Derrick pushed himself up and swung blindly, catching Alex by surprise and cracking his fist into her jaw.

She shook her head to clear her vision and blocked his next punch with her forearm. Countering, she punched him hard in the side, doubling him over. Alex smiled as she heard the satisfying crunch of ribs breaking. He grunted and stumbled back, clutching his side. Alex stepped forward without hesitation, unleashing a powerful sidekick into his chest. Derrick stumbled backwards as she planted her foot, pivoting her hips and slamming her heel into his jaw, snapping his head backward.

"You can end this now, Derrick. Just walk away and leave Regina alone." She stood with her hands hanging loosely by her sides and bounced on the balls of her feet. Her nostrils flared and she inhaled the scent of rain and blood.

Derrick lifted his head and glared at her. "Go to hell, you bitch. I don’t know what you did to her, but I’m taking her back home."

Lunging forward, he dove at Alex, tackling her around her ankles and driving her back against the side of the house.

The impact knocked her down, slamming her head to the ground. Derrick picked himself up and looked down at Alex, lying sprawled out on the ground. "Bitch." He kicked her hard in the stomach, before he turned around.

He walked around the Jeep. "Regina?" He said her name, listening for her as he walked on the gravel.

"I’m not going anywhere with you, Derrick. Not now, not ever." Regina walked out from behind the Jeep, having retrieved the baseball bat from inside it.

Derrick turned around and took a step back. "Regina, put the bat down." He smiled at her. "Come on Regina, what are you going to do? Hit me? You wouldn’t do that," he laughed, lifting a hand up to reach out for the bat.

Regina edged back, gripping the bat tightly in her hands. Derrick just smiled and kept advancing on her. "Back off, Derrick. You tried to rape me, you bastard." Regina shifted her hands on the bat.

"Come on, Regina. You wouldn’t hit me. Oomph!" Regina swung the bat down, clipping his ankles and neatly sweeping his feet out from underneath him.

"You bitch. You’re going to pay for that." Derrick started to scramble back up to his feet, but Alex tackled him to the ground. They rolled over each other, with Derrick finally pinning Alex onto her back. She planted her feet and pushed her hips up, knocking him off balance. Using her arms, she shoved him to the ground and pounced on top of him.

"I don’t think so, you bastard." Her fist sailed in, catching him across his face, knocking him senseless.

******

Regina sat on the bottom step, resting her head in one hand and holding a small icepack against her mouth that the police officer gave to her in the other hand. Her head was pounding from the collision with the kitchen cabinets and her lip felt like it would burst if she stuck a pin in it. The flashing lights from the police cruiser alternately bathed the house in red and blue, making her already pounding headache that much worse.

She watched as Alex talked to the officer who arrested Derrick. The woman wasn’t much taller than Regina, but she easily hauled Derrick to his feet and read him his rights as she stuffed him roughly into the back seat.

"This isn’t over, Regina," he shouted as he struggled against the handcuffs. The door slammed shut, silencing his angry voice.

Moments later an ambulance rolled up behind the police car. She shuddered and glanced up as a shadow moved in front of her and blocked out the flashing lights. "Let me take a look at that cut." The paramedic stooped down in front of her and examined the jagged cut.

Regina winced and pulled her head away as he pressed a wad of gauze against the broken skin to stop the bleeding.

"Here, let me do that." Alex reached down, grabbed the gauze from his hands and motioned him to move out of the way.

"B…but," he protested.

"Just go," Alex growled at him. He hesitated and the taller woman curled her lip. "What didn’t you understand? Go, we don’t need you."

Regina watched as the young man backed up and walked away. She looked up at her friend standing before her with a worried expression on her face. "Alex, what’s wrong?"

"You’re already hurt. He didn’t have to be that rough with you." The taller woman frowned as she tilted Regina’s head back. "I can use a couple of butterflies to close that up."

"Shit," Regina groaned.

Alex stepped back and held out her hand. "Come on doc, we need to take care of that."

Regina followed Alex up the stairs and into the apartment. She found herself being led over to the couch. "Sit down." Alex disappeared and returned with a wet washcloth and a tube of antiseptic.

"Oh no, you are not-" Regina backed warily away from her.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "What do you think I’m going to do? Scrub it? Come here." She held the warm cloth in her hand and laid it over the cut on Regina’s lip. "Just hold it there. It’ll loosen the blood so I can clean it."

Regina closed her eyes and tilted her head back on the couch. She felt Alex get up and then return several minutes later. The warm washcloth was lifted off her mouth.

"Cold," Alex warned her, as she touched an ice cube around the edges of the cut. Regina opened her eyes and watched as Alex rubbed the ice cube over her chin and caught the water with the washcloth.

She sat up off the back of the couch and pushed Alex’s hand away, taking the bloodied washcloth from her. "Don’t. I’ll do that," Regina said softly.

Alex frowned as Regina took the bloody ice cube from her. "I…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable." She went to stand up, cursing herself silently, until a hand on her forearm stopped her.

"You didn’t Alex. It’s just, we don’t know." She lifted the bloody washcloth in her hand.

Realization dawned; and Alex looked down at her bruised hands; turning them over, she looked at the bloody cuts on her knuckles. She looked back down at Regina. "I’ve got some gloves in my bag."

Regina shook her head and smiled faintly. "Alex, you don’t have to."

"I know that." She walked away and rummaged through the small kit she carried with her and pulled out a couple of latex gloves. Pulling them over her hands, she sat down next to Regina and took the ice cube back. "Here," she said, and moved the ice over Regina’s lip and chin again. "I doubt anything would happen though, even if you were."

"You don’t know that, Alex."

"You’re right." Alex concentrated on moving the ice over Regina’s lip, avoiding the eyes she knew were watching her. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she struggled to maintain control over her emotions. If I was any later getting back here, God knows what Derrick would have done to you. "I’m sorry, Regina."

"For what?" Regina stared incredulously at the woman sitting beside her.

Alex stared over Regina’s shoulder a far away look in her eyes. "Just…everything. You didn’t have to be here at all."

"No, don’t say that, Alex." Regina shook her head. A hand against the side of her head stopped the movement.

"Did he hit you?"

"No. He tackled me into the cabinets. I didn’t get my hands up in time." Regina cringed as she remembered the sound of the impact.

Alex shook her head, feeling anger course through her once more, wishing she’d done more damage to the bastard when she had the chance. She touched Regina’s lip with her thumb. "Numb?"

"Yeah, I can’t feel anything," Regina stopped talking as Alex applied the salve to her chin and then covered the cut with two sterile strips of tape to hold the cut closed. She watched as the dark woman peeled the gloves off her hands.

The young doctor was aware of Alex shifting her position so that one leg was curled underneath her on the couch. Regina sat very still, running her finger back and forth underneath her chin.

A hand reached up and gently pulled her fingers away from her face. Alex frowned and lifted her hand to Regina’s face. "You’re hot." She shifted closer and looked at Regina’s glassy eyes.

Regina pulled her eyes away and tilted her head back, unable to look at Alex. She swallowed a lump in her throat and sank back into the couch.

"Regina, you’ve got a fever. What’s going on?" There was concern in Alex’s voice.

Regina shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. "My lymph nodes are swollen in my neck." She choked on the words. "The fever started this afternoon."

Alex sat frozen for a moment as her thoughts raced haphazardly in her head. She could see the fear in her eyes and she took Regina’s hand, gently squeezing it.

"Listen to me." She slipped an arm around Regina and pulled her close to her as she saw the tears rolling down the woman’s face. "This could be a reaction to the medication or it could be the flu, or mononucleosis. You need to get it checked. The sooner the better."

Regina nodded her head. "I know," she cried through the tears.

Alex looked at her watch. "We could get to Boston in about three hours. You can sleep while I drive."

Regina looked up at Alex. "Boston?"

"I know a guy, he’s an infectious disease specialist."

"What about Dana?"

Alex closed her eyes and held onto Regina giving herself a chance to calm her racing thoughts. She hated leaving loose ends. She did what Lana asked her to do in the letter, setting Dana up to fall hard. It was a payback for ruining the store with her vile and reckless habit of selling drugs. The store was the one thing, outside of practicing medicine, that Lana loved to do and for Alex it was a chance to put behind her the anger and hate she felt for Dana for having given Lana the injection of morphine that ended her life.

Alex shook her head. "What’s done is done. This is more important."

Chapter Fourteen

Alex ran back up the stairs. "Ok. That’s it." She jogged back into the apartment and rounded the corner, stopping when she saw Regina standing with her back to her, staring out the window. She walked up behind Regina and laid a hand on her shoulder, peering into her tearful green eyes. "Regina, are you ready to go?"

Regina nodded her head. "I guess so." She wiped her face with her hand. It was weird, she thought, that she didn’t feel scared or nervous; it was almost a sense of being on the outside looking in at all this happening to somebody else, not her.

"You can sleep in the back if you want," Alex offered.

"That sounds like a good idea. I feel wiped out."

They walked down the stairs together and Alex locked the door behind them. She waited as Regina crawled into the back of the Jeep and lay down, covering her body with the blanket Alex handed to her. The doctor shut the door behind her, slipped in behind the steering wheel and turned on the engine; she looked up into the rearview mirror and tilted it so it was focused on Regina’s huddled form, lying across the back seat. Just relax. It could be something else, Alex kept telling herself. She pulled out of the driveway and headed west on Route Six toward Boston.

After driving for about ten minutes, Alex dialed a number on her cell phone and waited for the operator to pick up. "This is Dr. Margulies, page Dr. Ivez for me. It’s an emergency."

She waited impatiently for David to pick up as she negotiated through the sparse traffic.

"Alex? It’s been a long time; I can’t believe you’re calling me. What’s up?" It had been almost a year since he had last heard from Alex. The last time he had seen his friend was at the memorial service for Lana. He tried to offer what support he could to Alex but she kept everyone at a distance that day.

"David, I need your help. I’ve got a friend who’s in trouble and I need you to look at her."

"Sure, when?"

"Tonight."

"Well, I’m here all night so come on in."

Two and half-hours later, Alex turned the Jeep into the emergency department parking area at Boston Medical Center. She looked over her shoulder into the back of the darkened interior of the Jeep and could see Regina’s sleeping form curled up on the back seat, underneath the blanket.

"Hey." Alex reached over and touched her shoulder. "Time to get up. We’re here." She watched as Regina blinked and sat up slowly. "How do you feel?"

Regina brushed strands of hair out of her face and looked up at Alex. "I’ve been better."

"A friend of mine I know from medical school works here. He’s going to take a look at you," Alex said, as she held out a hand to her.

Regina nodded her head and let Alex help her out of the Jeep. They walked through the doors of the emergency department where Alex looked over at the desk and spotted the scruffy looking, brown-haired man whom she’d formed a friendship with during her last two residencies in New Jersey. He was thinner than she remembered and his hair was beginning to gray around the temples.

"That’s him over there." She pointed the doctor out to Regina. "David Ivez." She put her arm over Regina’s shoulder as she felt her shiver against her. "Do you want a wheelchair so you can sit down?"

Regina shook her head vehemently and stepped away from Alex. "No. I can walk."

Alex held her tongue in check and led Regina over to the desk. She knew her stubborn streak well enough by now to realize that arguing the point would be futile.

"David?" Alex called his name as they walked up to the desk.

"Alexandra." He smiled as he stood up and walked around the desk. "You always hated when I called you that." He pulled her into a hug.

"I still do," Alex said, as she broke off the embrace.

"So I see." He grinned back at her and directed his attention at her smaller companion standing next to her.

"David, this is Regina."

He frowned and brought a hand up to her face, glancing quickly up at Alex. "What happened here?"

"It’s a long story," Alex offered quickly.

"Well, let’s go in the back, Regina. I’ve got a booth set up for us."

Regina looked back at Alex as David took her arm. "Wish me luck," she said, trying to ease some of the nervousness she was starting to feel inside.

"You’re going to be all right, Regina." Alex stepped forward as if to follow.

"I’ve got her, Alex. I’ll come out and get you when I’m done."

Alex felt a pang of helplessness, coupled with jealousy as David took Regina from her. He glanced back at Alex as he led Regina down the hallway. "Alex, there’s some paperwork she needs to fill out for insurance. Maybe you could do it for her while you wait?"

"Sure." She nodded her head and watched as they turned the corner and disappeared from her sight. So what did you think he was going to do, ask you to go in with them? You asked for his help. Alex stood in the middle of the hallway, staring at where Regina had just been standing a second ago, oblivious to all the activity that was going on around her.

"Hey, lady, get out of the way." A paramedic yelled at Alex as he pushed past her, with a stretcher in tow.

"Sorry." Alex awkwardly stepped back away from paramedics, who ran past with a patient strapped securely to the stretcher. She was vaguely aware of a loud rushing noise in her ears and a hand touching her arm.

"Ma’am are you all right?" a young twenty-something nurse with bright green eyes, asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I’m fine." Ma’am? Shit, I’m not that old. Alex pulled her arm away, irritated by the nurse’s close physical presence. Come on, get a grip here Alex. You work in a hospital, what’s your problem? She turned to the woman. "I, I need to fill out some paperwork for a friend."

"Sure, no problem. Let me get you a clipboard and a pen."

Her heart beat rapidly in her chest and she felt slightly nauseated as she sat staring at the pale blue walls in the empty waiting room. This sucks being on the other side. I hate hospitals. No, face it Alex, you just can’t stand not being in control. The doctor stared at the paperwork and decided she answered all the questions that she knew about her young friend. The rest of them Regina would have to answer later. She stood up and walked over to the desk. The nurse who spoke to her earlier looked up and smiled a little too brightly at her.

"All done?"

Alex shook her head. "No. There are some questions my friend is going to have to answer. Can I go back and see her?" Alex asked, knowing what the answer would most likely be.

The woman’s smile faded. "I’m sorry, but only family members are allowed back to see the patients."

All right, lets try a different attack. "Listen, none of her family is here with her. I brought her in."

"I’m sorry, but the doctor will come out and talk to you when he’s done examining your friend," the nurse said, her tone more official now.

Alex bristled. Ok fine, two can play at that game, sweetheart. Alex smiled at her and took the papers off the clipboard. "Is there a bathroom around here?"

"Sure, first door down on your left."

Alex made a quick detour out to her Jeep and returned with her backpack. She walked down the hallway, found the linen room and picked up a set of scrubs. Five minutes later she emerged from the bathroom dressed in blue hospital scrubs and a lab coat. She clipped on her id badge and flipped it over so her picture was hidden from view.

With her clothes rolled up and tucked neatly into her backpack, Alex headed down the hall to the emergency room doors. She tapped the button on the wall and walked inside as the electric doors slid quietly open and headed directly over to the nurse’s station. "Where’s Dr. Ivez? He asked me to meet him down here to consult on a patient."

"He’s in booth ten with some AIDS patient," the nurse said without looking up from her paperwork.

Her heart leapt up into her throat at the nurse’s response. "Excuse me?" She leaned over the desk and roughly pushed the paperwork away from the nurse with her hand. She barely restrained herself from grabbing hold of the nurse’s scrub top. "Since…when… do…you…give…out…any information on a patient?" The nurse stared back at Alex with a look of shock on her face. "What if someone from her family was here? Then what? And how the hell do you know what’s wrong with her anyway?" Alex asked, bringing her face to within inches of the stunned nurse. "Well?"

The nurse’s jaw worked several times. "I, uh I don’t know. I’m sorry."

"You’re damn right you don’t know," Alex practically shouted at her.

"I’m sorry, really I am." The nurse nervously gathered up her paperwork and backed quickly away from Alex’s hateful stare.

Alex stood, holding onto her desk for a minute waiting for her legs to stop shaking. Goddamn, son of a bitch, I can’t believe she just said that. Regina would freak out if she heard that. The brunette walked to the back of the ER, letting her senses filter out the familiar noises from all the activity going on around her. She heard David’s voice through the curtain as she approached and a muffled response that could only be Regina answering him. She rapped her knuckles on the wall dividing the booths.

"David?"

"In here, Alex." He looked up as she walked into the booth. "No luck getting past the front desk in your street clothes, huh?"

Alex cuffed him on the shoulder. "Funny, very funny, David. Yeah, all it took was a pair of scrubs, a lab coat and a bad attitude." She walked past him, trying very hard not to be angry with him. There was only one way that nurse knew why Regina was here and that was David. She set her backpack on the floor and walked over to Regina. "Hey, how are you doing?" She leaned over and squeezed her shoulder affectionately.

Regina shook her head, trying her best to muster a grin. "Ok. We were just talking…about options." Regina closed her eyes, still feeling like the fever was sucking the energy out of her, and not wanting Alex to see how close to tears she was.

Alex turned around and looked at David. "So, do we have an idea about what is going on yet?"

He closed the chart he was writing in and looked back at her. "We drew some blood, so we’re waiting for the test results to come back. We should know something in the morning. Regina tells me she had a pretty severe reaction to the medication early on, so it’s possible it could be happening again. Obviously we’ll check to see if she’s developing the antibodies." He looked at both of them. "In the meantime, we hope for the best."

"Are you going to admit her tonight?" Alex asked.

David shook his head. "I can’t, Alex. I wish I could, but the hospital is full. We’ve got no beds available." He looked at Regina. "I guess you’ll be bunking in down here tonight. Sorry."

"That’s ok. Thanks for doing this, David." Regina lowered her head to the pillow and closed her eyes again.

"Alex, I can show you where the on call room is if you want to crash there," David offered.

She shook her head. "Thanks, but I’d rather stay here."

"No problem. Besides, I got a chance to trade stories about you. Just between us, right Regina?" He laughed and nudged Alex in the ribs.

Alex rolled her eyes at Regina, who was looking back up at them. "Great, there he goes tarnishing my stellar reputation again."

"Never," Regina said, grinning as she recalled one of the stories David told her.

David snorted. "Yeah, I think that halo of yours needs polishing, Alex."

"Mm, thanks for the reminder, David. I’ll get right on it," Alex replied sarcastically. "David, can I have a word with you?" She motioned with her hand. "Outside."

"Sure." David looked at her uncertainly and walked out of the booth. He turned around. "What’s up?" he asked, holding the chart in front of him as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Alex walked past him. "Not here."

David walked after her, seeing the line of tension in her shoulders. "Alex, what’s going on?"

"You," She turned around and jabbed a finger into his chest, making him flinch, "Breaking Regina’s confidence; is what’s going on." Alex stood in front of him with her hands on her hips. "Some nurse at the desk told me you were in booth ten with some AIDS patient." Her eyes darkened as anger swept through her. "How the hell did she know that, David? The only answer I see is the one standing in front of me right now."

David stepped back against the wall. He started to say something but stopped. "I must have let it slip after you called me." His voice was a whisper. He rubbed his face with his hand. "I’m sorry Alex. I had no idea someone would repeat that, let alone to you."

"That kid has been through hell the past few weeks. She doesn’t need any more bullshit to deal with. You should know better, David." Alex gave him one last cursory glance as she headed back to the booth where Regina was.

"Hey, what took so long?" Regina pushed herself up onto her elbows.

Alex gave her a half grin. "What’s wrong, did you miss me or something?"

"Yeah, I did." Regina looked up at Alex. "David is nice. I like him."

"He’s a good doctor," Alex replied, trying not to let her anger slip through.

"Alex, why don’t you go to sleep in one of the on call rooms? You must be exhausted after everything." Regina could see the dark circles under Alex’s eyes and the normally startling blue color seemed subdued.

"I’m fine." Alex walked out and rolled a vacant recliner back into the booth next to the stretcher. "Do you need anything, Regina?" Alex sat down facing her.

Regina opened her eyes and shook her head. "Can you lower this?" She rattled the rail on the side of the stretcher. "I feel like I’m in jail."

"Sure." Alex lowered the bed rail, resting her hands on the thin mattress.

Regina sat up and rubbed her temples, grimacing at the dull pounding behind her eyes. She looked down at Alex’s hand. "Did you put any ice on your hand? That looks awful." She brushed her fingers over the swollen and bruised knuckles of Alex’s right hand.

"Quit worrying about me. I’m fine." Alex pulled her hand away, all too aware of Regina’s touch and the tingle of sensation that ran up her spine from it.

Regina clucked her tongue. "You need to take care of yourself Alex. It might be broken."

Alex sighed. "It’s not." She flexed her fingers and made a fist to show Regina that it wasn’t broken. Unimpressed, Regina rolled her eyes. "You’re not going to quit on this are you?"

"Nope, go get some ice. I’m not going anywhere with this leash attached to me." She waved her arm that the IV was in. She pulled the blanket up over her shoulder and motioned at Alex to leave. "Go on."

"Fine," Alex groaned with an exasperated sigh. "I’ll be right back." She pushed her body out of the chair and walked out of the booth in search of an ice machine.

Alex returned a short while later, carrying a plastic bag filled with crushed ice. Regina opened her eyes as she heard Alex step into the booth and close the curtain behind her.

"Alex?"

"What?"

"I never got to thank you for um, taking care of Derrick."

Alex looked at Regina as she sat down in the recliner. "Somehow I don’t think Derrick would think of it that way." She gingerly placed the bag of ice over her swollen knuckles, hissing as the plastic and the cold made the raw skin sting. "He deserved it. How did he manage to find you, anyway?"

Regina shook her head. "He checked my credit card and found out I bought an airline ticket."

"Slick. Nothing like using his position to get information now, huh?" Alex asked, settling back into the recliner and closing her eyes.

"It wouldn’t be the first time he’s done it." Regina said, thinking back to the day he confronted her outside the hospital and told her about Alex’s suspension six months earlier.

"He’s an asshole, Regina. How’d you get involved with him in the first place?" The words were out before she could pull them back. Shit. Alex looked up and saw the surprised look on Regina’s face. "Ah, I’m sorry, Regina," Alex apologized. "I, uh, I don’t censor what comes out of my mouth very well sometimes."

Regina shook her head a sad expression covering her face. "It’s alright. He is an asshole." She was quiet as she lay back, looking up at the ceiling. She let out a sigh. "I’m scared, Alex."

Alex looked at Regina lying on the stretcher. I am too Regina. Damn, I wish I knew what to say to you. She tossed the bag of ice on the recliner behind her and moved over to sit on the edge of the stretcher next to Regina. She was used to being able to do something - change a medication, order a test, or recommend surgery. In this case, as much as she hated to admit it, she could do nothing except wait and hope, neither of which she was very good at. Alex touched Regina’s face and brushed her hair back over her shoulder. She sat quietly for a moment, looking at Regina and rubbing her hand over her back. "Your parents don’t live far from here, right?"

Regina nodded her head. "Why?" She was enjoying the comforting touch of Alex’s hand and the question brought her back from her quiet reverie.

"Do you want to call them and let them know that you’re here?" Alex inquired. She immediately regretted her question when she saw the look on Regina’s face. She’s not a kid, Alex. If she wanted them here she would have called them herself.

"They wouldn’t understand, Alex. They think HIV and AIDS are only something that my brother Jeffrey could get."

"What do you mean?"

Regina glanced up at Alex quickly. "He’s gay."

"Oh." She was beginning to realize some of the pressure her young friend was getting from her family about her lifestyle. "Does he live around here?" Alex asked, probing carefully. She wasn’t sure by Regina’s response if she was uncomfortable about her brother’s lifestyle or her parent’s rigid beliefs.

"No, he’s in San Francisco. He hasn’t lived at home since he was seventeen. My parents," Regina looked over at Alex and shook her head, "they’re not very liberal - minded. When he told them he was gay, it was like world war three. My mother threw him out of the house and told him never to come back."

"That must have been pretty awful," Alex said, feeling badly that Regina had seen that happen to her brother.

"It was. I still keep in touch with him, but my mother acts like he never existed. Pictures, awards, clothes, books - she threw all of it out." Regina recalled the fight she had with her mother only a couple days ago. She’s probably filling up the trash bags with my stuff as we speak. "I miss him."

"Can I ask you a personal question, Regina?" Alex looked down at the floor. "You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to."

"Yeah." Regina rolled onto her side and fiddled nervously with the sheet. She had an idea where Alex was going with this and she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to answer the question.

"Well, the other night in the apartment, when I kissed you, and we, um," Alex looked up at Regina. Just ask her will you? "Have you ever been with a woman before?"

Regina ran her fingers over the sheet and shook her head slowly. "No, I, I haven’t. I, um, when I realized I was attracted to women, I was in college." She looked up at Alex nervously. "I mean I knew before then, when I was in high school, but after what Jeffrey went through with my parents, I just pushed it aside. I couldn’t deal with it or what it would do to them."

"Yeah, I can see how you might not want them to know." My parents hardly cared what I did when I was younger. Dad was too busy drinking himself into oblivion, and my mother wanted to pretend that everything was fine. She pushed the errant thoughts out of her head and looked back up at Regina. "But, what about you? How come you never got involved with anyone, Regina?"

"I had some friends who were gay in college that I hung out with, but I wasn’t interested in anyone." Regina shook her head. "Besides, some of them went through relationships like water and I didn’t want that, I don’t want that."

"I know what you mean." Alex had a feeling that she fit those particular criteria Regina was referring to at one point in her life. There had been a time, Alex remembered, when she thought she would find that one person she could share her life with, but then things happened that altered what she always thought she would believe in, and she gave up hoping that she could find someone who she could spend her life with.

Regina flopped back down onto the pillow and covered her face with her hands as she flushed a deep red. "I can’t believe we’re having this discussion here," she groaned, in embarrassment.

"I’m sorry, Regina. I shouldn’t have brought it up." Alex stared at the cuts and bruises on her hand.

"No, it’s all right." Regina rolled over and looked at Alex. "I’m glad we have a chance to talk. This week has been crazy; so much has happened since we left the hospital."

"Regina." Alex leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees. "It can stop right here if you want it to. I shouldn’t have pushed you, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable the other night."

"Alex, you didn’t push me." Regina reached out and touched Alex’s face, stroking her cheek with her hand. "And…I don’t want us to stop," she lowered her head, "unless you want to."

Alex swallowed and shook her head, speaking quietly. "No, I don’t want us to stop, Regina." Despite all the reasons why she thought she shouldn’t get involved - having lost Lana just less than a year ago; the differences between herself and Regina and the reason they were in the hospital tonight - Alex realized with startling clarity that she didn’t want to lose the bond that was starting to grow between them.

Regina flicked the IV tubing in disgust. "This sucks." Tears ran down her face.

Alex was still absorbing what Regina had said to her when she realized what Regina was trying to do. "Regina, hey, don’t do that." Alex tried to take hold of Regina’s hand but the woman yanked it away from her.

"This…fucking…sucks!" Regina cried through her tears. She started ripping the tape off of her arm.

"Oh no you don’t." Alex jumped up, grabbed her arm and stopped her from pulling the needle out.

Regina struggled against Alex, trying to shove her away.

"Let go of me, damn it." Regina struggled as the taller woman held her hand firmly over the IV. "All because of some stupid needle stick," Regina cried as she finally gave up struggling and leaned against Alex.

Alex held onto Regina as she cried in her arms. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes. Oh God, please, please, don’t let this happen to her. She doesn’t deserve this. She felt a flash of panic rising in her chest that left her feeling weak-limbed as it passed. Alex hastily wiped her eyes with her hand. She placed Regina’s hand over the IV line. "Easy now. Hold this for me, Regina. I just want to re-tape it so I don’t have to get Nurse Sunshine to come in here." She turned away to look for tape.

Regina held her arm out as the doctor re-taped the IV. She looked up at her and laughed softly through her tears. "You mean the one with the green eyes that lit up when she saw you when we first walked in here?"

Alex shot her a look. "You noticed?"

"I’m sick Alex, not dead – of course I noticed. It was kind of hard to miss her reaction when we walked up to the nurse’s station before."

"Yeah, well somebody can tell her to save the effort." Alex smoothed the tape down over Regina’s arm, idly stroking her thumb over the soft hairs on her skin.

Regina shifted on the stretcher and groaned. "Ugh, I’m going to get bed sores lying on this damn stretcher all night."

"So switch with me. This lounge chair is pretty comfortable."

After a minute of finagling with the IV pole and moving it around in the crowded booth, Regina settled herself in the chair with Alex’s help. She closed her eyes and dozed fitfully for a few minutes. The waiting was awful and for as tired as she was, Regina couldn’t stay asleep. Oh, somebody needs to invent an off key for the brain, she thought to herself as she shifted in the chair.

So much had happened this week - between their suspensions, Alex almost committing suicide and Derrick’s attack, it hardly seemed real. Regina turned her head and looked at the brunette stretched out on her side, head propped on her hand with her eyes closed.

"Alex, are you sleeping?"

A slight grin crossed the dark-haired woman’s lips. "No. Why aren’t you sleeping? It’s late," Alex chided her as she looked at her watch and shook her head. "It’s two in the morning. Go back to sleep, Regina."

"I can’t." Regina huddled down into the chair and drew her legs up to her chest. All the sounds she hardly noticed when she was working in the hospital seemed magnified tonight. She heard every beep from the IV pumps, the nervous whispering of the patients and families around them in the other booths, and the soft buzz from the fluorescent lights overhead.

Alex reached out and felt her forehead. "How do you feel?"

Regina burrowed farther under the thin blanket. "I keep getting chills."

Alex looked down at the blonde from her perch on the stretcher. "Gee, I wonder why? Let’s see, we’ve got cold IV fluid running into you, a fever, and a flimsy gown, in a lovely shade of faded blue, I might add. Too bad they don’t have it in green, it would bring out your eye color."

Regina’s shoulders shook as she stifled a giggle. "I’m glad you’re here with me, Alex."

Alex stifled a yawn. "Me too. Do you want me to get you another blanket?"

Regina nodded her head and shivered again under the blanket she already had. Alex slid off the stretcher and disappeared, returning several minutes later with another blanket and a pair of scrubs. "Here, I thought these might make you feel warmer instead of that gown." She handed the blonde the bundle.

"Oh, thanks." Regina sat up in the chair and slid the pants on over her bare legs. The blonde stood up, fumbled with the ties on the pants, then reached back and undid the tie holding the gown closed.

Alex backed up, realizing that Regina was going to just drop the gown onto the floor. "Uh, let me step outside while you do that." She hastily slipped out of the curtain and leaned up against the wall.

She heard Regina snicker. "What are you laughing at?" Alex realized that Regina was enjoying her obvious discomfort with this.

"Alex, you’re a doctor. If you’ve seen one set of breasts, you’ve seen them all."

"Uh, not quite, Regina." Alex rolled her eyes and banged her head back against the wall. We almost made love the night before and I really don’t need to see you half naked now, Regina, because I’ll never get to sleep tonight. Shit, what is wrong with me? I shouldn’t be thinking like this. She’s sick. "Are you decent yet?" Alex growled through the curtain.

"Yes, I’m decent, Alex." Regina pulled the blanket back up over her body as she sat in the chair.

Alex walked back into the booth, feeling Regina’s eyes following her as she sat down on the stretcher. She slipped her lab coat off and draped it over the front of her as she lay back on the stretcher and closed her eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"I’m going to sleep." The woman crossed her ankles, folded her arms over her chest, then turned her head and opened one eye. "Which is exactly what you should be doing."

"I know. I always have a hard time sleeping in a strange place."

Alex could hear Regina shift in the recliner as she settled down. Well, this is about as strange of a place you can be in. She opened her eyes and looked over at Regina’s huddled form under the blankets. Bright fluorescent lights that don’t turn off, loud noises, strange smells and not even a decent bed to sleep in. Hmm, I think I will take David up on his offer of using the on call room. He owes me at least that.

Alex slipped quietly off the stretcher and went in search of the doctor. She found him in the staff lounge working on a pile of charts. "David."

"So, you’re still talking to me, huh?"

"Yes, I am." Alex ran a hand through her hair and sat across from him. "Can I still take you up on that offer for the on call room?"

"Sure, let me get the key." David stood and walked past Alex, hesitating as she grabbed his arm.

"You know, I never thanked you for being there – at the service."

He smiled sadly at his friend and patted her shoulder. "I know. I…I didn’t know what to say to you. You were hurting so bad." David turned his head away as he saw the tears in Alex’s eyes.

He pulled the chair around the table and sat next to his friend. "You didn’t break your hand did you?"

Alex smirked and shook her head. "No."

"You were always quick with your fists. Hit first, ask questions later."

"I guess deep down I’m still that angry, pissed off, kid you met in college."

David leaned closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "That angry, pissed off, kid saved my life from a bunch of thugs that night."

Alex hung her head, refusing to meet his gaze. "This woman, Regina, she means a lot to you."

Alex smiled sadly. "You know, I’ve never met anyone in my life like her. She’s special."

David nodded his head and stood up. "Let me get you that key."

A short while later, Alex returned to the booth where Regina was now sleeping. She knelt down beside her and brushed her hair back behind her ear. "Regina?"

"Mmm. What? I just fell asleep." Sleepy green eyes peered up at her.

Alex put a finger to her lips. "I’m sorry. I got you a room to sleep in," she said, and helped Regina into the wheelchair.

"Where are we going?" Regina blinked at the bright lights overhead and pulled the blankets up around her shoulders.

"You’ll see." Alex wheeled her down one of the hallways and stopped in front of an unmarked door. She unlocked it and pushed the door open. The room was small; the size of a closet in fact, and there was just enough room for a single bed. She flicked on the light next to the bed. "I thought you might be able to sleep better in here. It’s quiet and you can turn out the light," Alex explained, as she helped Regina out of the chair and into the room.

Regina sat down on the single bed and smiled up at Alex. "Thanks."

"I’ll come back and check on you later. Get some sleep." Alex turned and reached for the door.

"Bu…wait."

"What?" Alex turned back around.

"Don’t go. Stay with me."

"You sure? That bed is awfully small."

"Please, I don’t want to be alone." Regina held out her hand.

Alex looked down at Regina, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Alright, let me get in behind you, that way you’re not up against the wall." Alex crawled onto the bed lying down on her side, stretching out next to the concrete wall. "There’s not a lot of room Regina, are you sure you want me to stay?"

"Yes." Regina lay down and snuggled up with her back pressed tightly against Alex. "Thanks for taking care of me today again, Alex."

"Anytime, my friend." Alex pulled the blankets up over the both of them. "Are you warm enough?"

Regina mumbled something Alex couldn’t understand then reached behind her, finding Alex’s hand and pulling it forward over her stomach.

******

Several hours later, Alex woke before Regina and lay next to her, listening to her breathe. The smaller woman stirred slightly as Alex lifted herself up on her elbow. Neither of them moved during the night, which surprised her because she was always a restless sleeper. She removed her hand from Regina’s grasp and felt her forehead. Good, it feels like the fever broke while she slept. That has to be a good sign.

She reached up and felt for the light switch, turning on the light. From the hallway she heard a voice coming through on the paging system. Might as well get up, she thought, and slipped out of the bed. She looked down at her rumpled scrubs and shrugged her shoulders. Oh well, at least I’ll fit in. I’ll look like any other resident in the hospital who was on call last night.

"Alex." She turned to see Regina rolling over and stretching out onto her back. "What are you doing?"

"I figured I would try and find us something to eat that resembled real food. Any requests?" Alex ran a hand through her tousled hair.

"No oatmeal. I hate lumps," Regina mumbled.

"No oatmeal," Alex repeated. "Just sit tight. I’ll be back in a little while." Alex leaned over and pulled the blanket away from Regina’s face and shook her head when she saw that the resident had already fallen back to sleep.

The doctor negotiated her way through the maze of corridors, following the signs that led the way to the hospital cafeteria. It was still early so only a few employees that worked the early shift were wondering around and looking at the possibilities for breakfast.

She picked up a tray. "Let’s see what’s safe in here." She walked past the counters of hot food and stopped at the grill. She ordered two cheese omelets, figuring that was a safe bet since she wasn’t sure what Regina liked. While she waited, the doctor selected a couple of bananas, two muffins, and milk and juice for both of them.

She paid at the register and headed back towards the on call room where she left Regina sleeping. Alex opened the door, slipped inside and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Regina?"

"Mm. I’m awake." Regina rolled onto her side and curled her body around Alex. She closed her eyes and snuggled against the taller woman, causing Alex to catch her breath at the sudden surge of heat that flowed through her belly.

"Sure you are. Wake up sleepy head. David said he would come down and talk to you before he starts rounds."

"Oh, why can’t mornings start later?" Regina grumbled from beneath the covers.

"It’s the best time of the day. Come on, you need to eat."

"Its the best time of day for who, the birds?" Regina protested.

Alex regarded her in silence and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh god, don’t tell me you’re one of those morning people." Regina untangled herself from her cocoon and sat up. "Boy, I must look awful." She brushed her hair back behind her ears. Hey, I think my fever broke."

"No, you don’t and yes, it did." Alex told her. "Here, eat this." She handed her the paper plate with the omelet on it. "I hope cheese is ok. I wasn’t sure what you liked."

"This is fine," Regina said in between bites. She scooted back so she was leaning against the wall and set her plate in her lap. "Ugh, I’m eating too fast."

"Slow down, nobody’s going to steal it from you," the doctor teased gently. She eased back so she was sitting next to the blonde.

"You never ate a meal with my brothers. They were awful when they were teenagers. If you turned your head they’d swipe something off your plate."

"You’re kidding me." Alex laughed.

"No. I got them back though."

"On no, what did you do?"

Regina sat up straighter and snickered before she started to tell Alex the story. "My parents weren’t home one night so I made the age old brownie recipe Ex-lax. It was easy, all I had to do was tell them not to eat them because they were for school the next day."

Alex stared at Regina silently for a second and then broke into laughter. "Oh my God. That is cruel."

"Yeah, but they never touched my food again after that."

They sat side by side both eating in silence. Alex stole a couple of glances at her younger companion and wondered how Regina felt about her. We’re so different, Regina. I wonder, do we really have a chance at being together?

"That was good." Regina reached in front of Alex, and snatched one of the muffins off the tray.

Alex stared at her empty plate with an amused look on her face. "I guess you were hungry, huh?"

There was a knock on the door. They heard David’s voice on the other side.

Regina stopped eating. "Oh, I think I just lost my appetite," she said, her face paling slightly.

Alex tenderly squeezed her arm with her hand. "Whatever it is, we’ll deal it. You’re not going to have to go through this by yourself, Regina."

Regina nodded her head. "Thanks, Alex. You don’t know how much that means to me."

"Come on in, David."

The door opened and the scraggly-looking doctor stepped into the cramped room. "Boy, I forgot how small these rooms were." He leaned up against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "Not bad, room service. I wish I were that lucky." He cocked his head, looking at the blonde thoughtfully. "How do you feel, Regina?"

"Better. My fever broke during the night. Did you get the results of the test back?"

"I did. The good news is there’s no sign of the antibodies yet in your system."

Regina leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. "Thank god. So, what’s going on with me then?"

"Well, that’s where the problem is. The drugs you’re taking to prevent your body from developing the HIV virus are doing some bad things to your system. For one, your red blood cell count is low. That’s one of the side effects of the drugs you’re on. The other problem is that your white blood cell count is drastically low as well. That concerns me because the drugs which are protecting you from developing the antibodies are essentially killing you’re ability to fight off any infection you might get."

"So, what should I do?" Regina asked, looking first at Alex and then at David.

"If it was me, I’d stop taking the drugs, Regina. I know what you’re thinking." He held up a hand to stop her sentence. "It’s a calculated risk. You’ve been on the drugs almost three months now. There’s a better than sixty percent chance you won’t develop the antibodies."

Regina stared down at her hands. "How much better than sixty percent? Sixty-one, seventy percent?"

"I don’t know Regina. I’m sorry I can’t give you a better answer."

"David, what’s the bottom line if she stays on the drugs?" asked Alex.

David shook his head. "Here, look at the lab values yourself."

She took the papers from him. Running her finger down the list of numbers she frowned, not liking what she saw.

"What do you think, Alex?" The blonde leaned closer to read the lab values.

"You’re liver function tests are up. That’s not good. And look," she pointed farther down the page, "your kidneys are being affected too."

"If I stop taking the drugs will my liver and kidneys start to function normally?"

"If you stop now I would say they probably will." David replied cautiously. "The other issue, Regina, is if you stay on them, they could make you infertile. I don’t know if that’s a concern for you or not but that’s something you need to think about as well."

She stared up at him. "So if I stay on the drugs I could have permanent liver and kidney damage, be prone to infections, and possibly become infertile. On the other hand, if I stop taking the medicine I could still develop the antibodies. Great choice." Regina groaned and slumped back against the wall.

"I wish I could have better news for you. The choice is ultimately yours to make. Give yourself some time and think about it, but don’t take too long. I’ll write the discharge order so you can leave whenever you want."

"Thanks for doing this, David. At least now I know what’s going on." Regina replied.

Alex stood up and held out her hand. "Thanks, David. I owe you one."

"Don’t mention it, Alex." He looked at his watch. "I’ve got to go. Listen, stay in touch. Regina, good luck." He slipped out of the room, leaving the two of them alone.

Alex turned around and looked at Regina.

"It could have been worse, right?" Regina looked back at Alex.

"Yeah, it could have been, but it wasn’t." Alex sat down beside her on the bed, her hands resting on her thighs.

"Do you think I’m making the right decision if I stop taking the drugs, Alex?"

"I don’t think there’s much of a choice. If it was me, I’d stop taking them, Regina."

"I wish I had been able to stay on them longer before I started having the side effects."

Alex turned and faced her. "Do you want me to see if I can find out if there’s anything else you can take? We can check out the internet and look at the latest research if you want."

"No, no more pills, Alex. I’m sick of taking them. You know I forgot to take them yesterday?" Regina shook her head, then looked up at Alex. "How’s your hand feeling?"

Alex turned it over and made a fist. "It’s fine, just a little stiff."

Regina leaned over and looked at it. "Wow, the swelling is almost gone. You heal quickly."

Alex made a face and nudged Regina with her elbow. "Nah, just a good doctor looking after me, that’s all."

Regina couldn’t help the smile that crossed her lips. She shook her head and rubbed her face with her hands. "Ugh, I feel gross. I need a shower and then I have to get my car back." She looked up at Alex and her eyes widened in alarm. "What, why do you have that look on your face like something’s wrong?"

"Uh, with everything that happened last night, I didn’t get a chance to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Derrick had your car towed back to New Jersey and impounded," Alex said, casting a wary glance at Regina.

"Oh, that son of a bitch! How the hell am I going to get home? Ah shit!" She cursed and put her face in her hands.

"Hey, easy, I’ll drive you home. Don’t worry about it. We’ll get your car back on Monday after the meeting."

Regina snapped her head up and stared at Alex. "Wait. Does that mean you’re going back to the hospital?"

A smile tugged at the corner of Alex’s mouth. "Dr. Mitchard won’t accept my resignation so it’s up to the board if they want me back or not."

Regina stared at Alex. "Why didn’t you tell me?" She grabbed the woman’s arm, shaking it in her excitement.

"I didn’t get a chance until just now." Alex smiled at the expression on Regina’s face. "I take it you think that’s a good thing, huh?"

Regina stood up facing Alex, put her hands on her shoulders and pushed her back so the taller woman had to look up at her. "Of course it is." Regina resisted the urge to just lean in and kiss her. "So, any chance we can take a shower before we head home?"

"I think we can find a shower." Alex stood up and reached for the younger woman. "Regina?"

"What?"

"Everything is going to work out." Alex pulled her into a hug, wrapping her arms around her tightly. "Let’s go find the locker room so we can get the hell out of here."

Continued - Part 6

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