Xena's
impatient voice rang out and Gabrielle stopped in her tracks. She plastered an innocent
expression on her face before turning to face her warrior. By the time she turned, Xena
was at her side and grabbed the bucket of mud from the smaller woman's hands.
"What?"
Gabrielle tried to sound like she didn't know that she'd been caught.
"Brie,
this is way too heavy to be lifting. Sartori said that you needed to take it easy. That
means rest, not helping me mortar the foundation."
Xena's voice
was sharper than she intended, but she was trying to make a point. Gabrielle nearly scared
the life out of her when she experienced a bout of painful stomach cramps a few days
earlier. The pains eased up, eventually disappearing altogether. Sartori, the village
healer, examined the Queen and could find nothing wrong with the young woman, but given
the fact that the baby dropped so low, she advised Gabrielle not to do anything that might
strain her abdominal or lower back muscles.
Xena wiped
her hands and pulled her dejected wife in for a hug. "I'm sorry, Brie, I didn't mean
to yell, but I think it's important for you to listen to Sartori. I'm only concerned
because--"
"You
love me," Gabrielle sighed.
Xena
chuckled at the young Queen's pout. "If only your subjects could see you now,"
she teased, touching a clean finger to the lower lip that Gabrielle stuck out.
"Very
funny, warrior. I'm sorry I'm not doing what I'm told, Xe, but I'm going crazy not being
able to lift so much as my own dinner plate."
"I
know, my heart, but think of the consequences. Just do it my way for once, okay?"
Xena asked.
"But,
you're doing all the work on the house!"
"Sweetheart,"
Xena tried to control her laughter, "You are going to give birth to our child. You do
realize that you're doing the hard part, right?"
"I'm
only having a baby. It's not the same as building a new house," Gabrielle replied.
"Tell
me that when your first labor pains hit," Xena mumbled to herself once she turned
away and resumed working.
"I
thought you said it wouldn't be that bad?" Gabrielle looked truly frightened now. She
thought the pain she went through giving birth to Hope was caused by the unnatural
acceleration of the pregnancy.
Damn! Her
hearing is getting better everyday. "I didn't mean it like
that…I was just joking. I mean, it's not going to be painless, Brie, but some women,
especially first time mothers, have their babies so fast, that there's no time for it to
hurt."
"Oh."
Gabrielle said quietly, obviously thinking about that.
"Just
take it easy, all right?" Xena pleaded, slapping another handful of mud in between
the roughly hewn logs.
"Oh,
okay," the dejected Queen finally gave in.
"Promise?"
Xena asked. She knew she was probably pushing it, but Gabrielle and their unborn baby's
safety came above all else.
"I
promise…I don't have to like it, but I do promise to behave," Gabrielle
promised.
"I tell
you what…let me clean all the mud off and I'll take you to the food hut for a midday
meal. How does that sound?" Xena asked, knowing the only sure way to get her wife's
mind off the subject.
Gabrielle's
eyes brightened immediately. "Now you're talking, warrior!" She exclaimed with a
smile.
**********
Gabrielle
drummed her fingers on the table impatiently. She looked around their now spacious
surroundings and couldn't believe they once called this, the Queen's hut. It looked more
like a mansion now. Xena started out intending to only add on a room. Something to give
them a little more space and a place that in another season or so could be used as their
child's bedroom, or their bedroom, depending on how they worked it. Naturally, being the
Warrior Princess, she never did anything in a small way. With some help from Eponin and a
number of other Amazons, Xena was able to build two more rooms and a separate area to be
used as a bathing chamber.
Gabrielle
rose and paced the room.
"She's
not going to a ball, just the food hut. What in Hades is taking her so long?" She
said to no one but herself.
The young
woman began to tidy up. She'd rearranged the bedroom a hundred times already. Xena did
what she promised to do since the day they became lovers. She built a warrior size bed for
them. The baby's cradle sat beside the bed, one corner of their new bedroom situated for
the child's cradle and other assorted items. A large chest already held clothes and
diapers, everything they would need.
Everything
was ready and in place, but Gabrielle couldn't help arranging and rearranging until she
knew she was going to drive her warrior mad. She lifted a small pile of clothes and bent
to place them into the chest, on the floor. The strangest sensation of being watched came
over the Queen, but when she stood, looking around the room, the warrior she expected to
see smirking at her, was not there. She shook her head and grinned at herself, bending
slightly to move the wooden cradle just a little bit more to the left.
A white-hot
bolt of pain seared its way across Gabrielle's abdomen. Her hands fell from the cradle she
was attempting to move and she dropped to one knee from the pain's intensity. She reached
out and clutched the side of the bed, her fingers clawing at the blanket and balling it
under her fist. She finally found her voice enough to gasp, but as quickly as the pain
came over her, it disappeared.
Gabrielle
wiped the sweat from her forehead and slowly eased herself back up until she was sitting
on the bed. She took slow, deep breaths, running the palm of her hand over her large
belly. She could still feel the after effects; small twinges in her abdomen that she knew
weren't normal labor pains. Gabrielle sat and cursed herself for attempting to move the
cradle. She promised Xena she wouldn't do anything like that, yet the first time the
warrior wasn't around she broke her word. She wasn't sure if it was that or the muscle
spasm that hurt worse.
"Hey,
you must be famished by now." Xena strode into the room.
"Y-Yea…you
ready?" Gabrielle asked, rising slowly from the bed.
She knew she
should tell Xena about what just happened, but she also knew that Xena would be angry and
disappointed in her. I swear, I will be more careful from now on, just don't let
anything be wrong, Gabrielle silently prayed to any Gods willing to listen.
Brie? Are you okay?" Xena asked.
More
lies, to cover up the first one. Oh, forgive me, Xe.
"Yes,
of course. Ready to go?" Gabrielle put on a smile and headed for the door.
Xena stopped
to kiss her wife and they walked outside, toward the center of the village. Gabrielle felt
no residual pain and thanked the Gods above for listening to her pleas. The only change in
the young Queen was that she suddenly lost her appetite. Xena knew how that could be. You
had a craving one moment, but once it passed, you were on to something else. The warrior
never pushed or prodded. She simply rubbed her wife's back, watching as the young woman
pushed her food around on her plate.
**********
Gabrielle
felt her abdomen cramp up again and winced slightly. It wasn't the sharp pain that she
experienced earlier, rather the discomfort she often felt when it was her time of the
moon. The pains didn't seem to be increasing in intensity, only frequency. Unable to
ignore her wife's countenance any longer, Xena leaned over to whisper in Gabrielle's ear.
"Brie,
what's wrong? Are you in pain?"
The look of
understanding and concern on her warrior's face caused Gabrielle to rethink her earlier
idea of keeping silent about breaking her promise. Something was wrong and her only
thoughts were of her baby's welfare now, not the fact that this would probably start a
fight between she and Xena. The young Queen decided to tell the warrior exactly what
happened.
"Xe,
I--Oh Gods!" Gabrielle grabbed the edge of the table as a particularly strong spasm
shot through her abdomen.
"Gabrielle,
what's wrong?" Xena looked up sharply.
The others
at the Queen's table were beginning to realize something was wrong and paused in their own
meals or conversations to watch the Queen and her Consort.
"Oh,
Xe…I--I…" Gabrielle willed the words to her tongue, but they wouldn't come.
She needed to tell Xena the truth. She, of all people, knew where lies and half-truths
could bring a couple.
"Gabrielle,
you are in pain, aren't you?"
Gabrielle
nodded. "It's like my time of the moon, at least it started out that way. Now it's
getting worse. Oh, Xe, I--"
"Sshh,
love," Xena slipped her hand inside Gabrielle's shift and placed it, palm side down,
against the lowest part of her wife's belly.
Gabrielle
felt another cramp begin and tensed.
"There
was that it, did you feel the pain just now?" Xena questioned.
Gabrielle
could only nod her head again. She looked up into her wife's blue eyes, expecting to see
fear or worry. Instead, a broad smile broke out across Xena's face.
"Brie,
it's all right. I think your labor pains have started, that's all there is to it. Gods,
your good, woman, almost nine moons to the day."
Are you
sure, that's all, Xena? I mean, my water didn't even break yet."
"It
will, not to worry. How long have you been having them?"
"Since just before we came to lunch."
Gabrielle
finally let herself relax. It wasn't something she'd done at all; it was simply her
labor beginning. There was nothing wrong with her baby. She allowed herself a weak grin in
her wife's direction.
"I
guess it's time, huh?"
"I
guess so, my heart," the warrior grinned back
**********
Sartori felt
Gabrielle's abdomen just as Xena did moments earlier. "Do you two want to go home or
over to the healer's hut?" The healer asked.
"Home,"
they both answered in unison.
"Well,
since the contractions are coming closer together, why don't you two head over there? I'll
go get some things I'll need and Adia and I will meet you there. Gabrielle, who will bless
the child?"
Sartori
asked about the blessing, knowing that Gabrielle's best friend within the village was
Ephiny. It was still a formality that had to be taken care of. This wasn't just any child
coming into the world; this was the Queen's heir. If it was a boy, he would be blessed in
the Amazon fashion, and the Gods thanked. If the child of the Queen and her consort were a
girl, the infant would be blessed in the same manner, but she would immediately be
recognized as Amazon royalty and given Gabrielle's right of caste. The Queen's Consort
would then present the child to Artemis for her blessing.
Xena and
Gabrielle walked from the large food hut. The tall warrior had her arm wrapped around the
young Queen's shoulder, moving at a very slow pace to accommodate the smaller woman. Xena
was nervous now. She'd been through this before when she gave birth to Solon, and she
remembered how difficult and painful her own labor was. It stabbed at her heart to think
of Gabrielle going through that kind of pain. She knew her wife would consider it all
worth it, just as she had when it was over, but that didn't make it any easier to take
right now.
"Oh,
Gods!" Gabrielle paused and squeezed the hand Xena offered. The pains were coming one
after another and suddenly Gabrielle felt the wet warmth that she knew could only be one
thing.
"Great,"
the Queen muttered.
Xena took in
the dark stain on Gabrielle's shift and nodded her understanding. "Your water
broke?"
Gabrielle
nodded and took a step forward. The moment she placed her foot on the ground a pain unlike
any of the others ripped through her body. She screamed and fell back, Xena's arms
scooping her up before she fell to the dirt.
"Brie!"
Xena cradled Gabrielle's body to her own.
"It
hurts…Gods, Xe!" Gabrielle hissed out between clenched teeth. "Something
feels wrong."
Gabrielle
didn't have to explain any more than that. Xena knew that her wife had a sense about
things, being half Goddess; she had abilities that Xena stopped questioning. She turned
away from the path that led to their home and moved toward the healer's hut. She met
Sartori and Adia coming her way.
"Something's
wrong," Xena said in a tense voice.
Both
Healer's stopped and turned to rush ahead of the warrior, carrying the near hysterical
Queen. Ephiny appeared only moments later to find the Healer's hut in a state of
controlled chaos. Adia handed Sartori herbs as she mixed some medicines together, while
Xena tried desperately to calm her wife, who was nearly shrieking in pain.
Sartori
pressed a small piece of root into Xena's hand. The warrior immediately recognized the
plant and knew what to do.
"Brie,
baby, look at me," Xena requested.
Gabrielle
focused terrified eyes on her wife and the calmness that Xena willed into her gaze
infected the Queen. Xena moved Gabrielle forward on the pallet and sat behind her, the
support immediately lessening the lower back pain the young woman was experiencing.
"Bite
down on this, love," Xena said, slipping the small piece of root into her wife's
mouth.
Gabrielle
was in no position to argue. She bit into the soft root and obeyed Xena's further
instructions. She pressed down, swallowing the saliva that tasted like almonds. The
effects were immediate, as Gabrielle felt lightheaded. Her pain was still there, but for
some reason she felt slightly disconnected from it. Xena searched her wife's eyes and
noticed the telltale glazed over look. She also took note that Gabrielle's breathing
slowed down considerably, the undesirable side effect to the medicinal pain-killing root.
"Spit
it out, Brie." Xena commanded, holding her hand in front of her wife's mouth.
When the
young woman spit out what remained, the warrior tossed it away, looking up at Sartori. The
Healer wore a fresh apron and bent down to examine Gabrielle.
"Oh
Gods!" Gabrielle exclaimed, pressing herself into Xena's strong body behind her.
"Okay,
Gabrielle it's a contraction, don't try to fight it or bear down, just try to work with it
the way we discussed."
Gabrielle
closed her eyes to concentrate on going with the flow of the contraction. She could feel
the pressure between her legs and suddenly the cramping sensation was easing up.
"Good…good
job. I can just see the baby's head. You're doing fine, Gabrielle," Sartori
encouraged.
Gabrielle's
scream took everyone by surprise, especially the Healers and Xena, who knew she shouldn't
be able to experience the pain because of the herb's anesthetic properties. The young
woman went rigid in Xena's arms, not even able to breath. The pain was unlike anything
Gabrielle ever felt before. She knew that if a blade sliced her belly open to the core; it
would have felt just like this. She never knew a person could experience or tolerate this
much pain and still be conscious.
"Something's
wrong!" Xena shouted over Gabrielle's screams to Sartori.
"The
baby's nearly here. Gabrielle you have to try, just push once," Sartori shouted back.
Gabrielle
didn't think she could. She didn't think she could even breathe much longer. She could
hear Xena talking to her, but she wasn't able to make out the words…just sounds,
wonderful, loving sounds of strength and encouragement. She took a deep gulp of air and
pushed. The pain was worse when she did, but Gabrielle grit her teeth and willed her mind
to forget the pain for her baby's sake. She felt something like a release, and then the
pressure between her legs was gone, replaced by a warm wetness.
"That's
it!" Sartori cried out. "It's a girl," she held the child up to clear an
airway. Before either the parents or anyone else could breathe a sigh of relief or speak
congratulations, they waited for the cry.
The silence
was deafening.
Xena held
Gabrielle as she watched Sartori frantically clear the baby's mouth and nose, smack the
infants' bottom, rub its chest, anything to induce that first breath of life. Gabrielle
screamed once more as another volley of spasms took control of her body.
"Adia,"
Sartori held the child up for her own wife. "It's the afterbirth," she commented
quickly.
Xena was still splitting her attention between the
woman who writhed in agony in her arms and her child. Adia and Ephiny were hunched over
the baby, attempting to breath air into its lungs, Adia pulled some powders from the shelf
and Xena could see her try one after another on the baby's tongue, all while Ephiny
attempted to breath for the baby, massaging her tiny chest.
Gabrielle
fell still and Sartori looked even more worried than before. Xena felt powerless and was
about to rise from the bed to assist in saving her child.
"She's
bleeding," the Healer stated.
Sartori's
face looked strained yet she moved quickly and without panic. She set the package of the
afterbirth aside, as was the custom for the blessing. She also pushed a handful of cloth
bandages to the floor. Xena looked down at the bandages in uncharacteristic silence. They
weren't just bloody cloths; they were completely soaked in blood. The Healer repeated the
action and Xena could only watch as Sartori pushed large cloths to the floor, saturated in
Gabrielle's blood.
Gabrielle
felt pain free at last, but tired and cold, so very cold. She wanted to close her eyes and
go to sleep, but her baby…she knew something was wrong and couldn't focus on the
chaos around her to know what was happening. She hadn't heard her baby cry. A terrible
fear clutched at her heart and the pain was nearly as great as the physical pain she
suffered from moments ago. She knew now that her labor hadn't been normal. She'd done
something to her baby because of her own stubbornness. Xena would hate her, but she had to
tell her wife that she was responsible for whatever was happening to their child.
"Xe…"
Xena looked
down at her wife's face just as Gabrielle's head hit the warrior's shoulder, slumping to
one side. Gabrielle's eyes fluttered as if she were struggling to keep them open. That's
when Xena heard both voices come at her.
"I
can't stop the bleeding," Sartori's voice was tinged with fear.
"I
don't know what else to do," Adia sighed in defeat.
Xena watched
as Sartori jumped up from her position at the end of the bed. The Healer moved two wooden
blocks over to the end of the bed. The warrior saw that Ephiny continued to breath for the
tiny infant, but Xena knew it was too long. She made the only decision she felt she could
make.
"Brie?
Gabrielle!" Xena gently slapped her wife's face until the green eyes tried to pull
her into focus. "Stay awake, baby. Don't go to sleep." Xena slipped out from
behind the young woman and moved to the end of the bed, lifting it up as Sartori placed
the large blocks under the rear legs of the pallet. The end of the bed was raised up into
the air and Xena quickly returned to Gabrielle's side.
"Brie!
Stay with me, baby."
Gabrielle
did all she could do to muster a weak smile for her wife. "I'm so cold, Xe. Xena,
I've done something…I have to tell you…"
"Sshh…"
Xena calmed the young woman, quickly jabbing two fingers at the area where Gabrielle's
thigh met her hip. "You're cold because you're bleeding too much, Brie. I'm going to
use the pinch on this area to stop the flow of blood, then I'll release it after a few
seconds. That should eventually slow it down, okay?"
Gabrielle
squeezed her wife's hand in response.
Xena looked
up as she repeatedly released the pinch from her wife's artery. She watched with tears
filling her eyes as Ephiny and Adia took turns breathing their own air into her child's
body. She brusquely wiped the tears away, turning back and releasing the ancient hold on
Gabrielle once more. She had to make a decision. She couldn't take her attention away from
her wife, and so, she had to leave her child's life in the hands of competent and caring
friends. She'd lost Gabrielle before, she was determined not to let her beloved's life
slip away again.
When Xena
looked up at Gabrielle, she saw the Queen more alert, looking on the scene of Adia,
Ephiny, and their child. When the Queen's eyes pulled themselves away to look into her
Consort's eyes, their exchanged gaze spoke the truth. Xena and Gabrielle both knew that
too much time had passed. The unspoken acknowledgment passed between them and tears fell
from the Queen's eyes as she laid her head back down. Her eyes held an incredible pain and
guilt so immense, Gabrielle wasn't sure she knew how to overcome it. At the same time,
Xena watched her wife, her own gaze screaming out her frustrated helplessness and
overwhelming anger.
Xena
released the pinch again, silently counting the beats between releases.
"Xena,
it's slowing," Sartori said, tossing more bandages aside. She couldn't look up at the
warrior, her own guilt over the situation behind her apparent.
The second
Sartori spoke those words; Xena shot up and crossed the room to where her child lay. She
knew. She knew when she pushed her friends aside and attempted to breathe life in to her
child's limp and unmoving body, she knew it would do no good. The warrior tried every
healer's trick she'd ever been taught, even using a few herbs that surprised Adia. Time
passed quickly, but to Xena those long moments in time lasted an eternity.
"I'm…I'm
so sorry, Xena…it's been too long," Adia's tears stained her own face as she
watched her friend lean her body protectively over her baby, her large hands stroking the
dark head.
Xena nodded
her head when she felt Ephiny's hand on her shoulder, but she didn't move. She couldn't
bring herself to step away from the child. That would be to admit that it was over. It was
with a supreme effort that she stood and looked at Ephiny.
"Bless
her," Xena said in a voice thick with emotion.
"Xena,
she--"
"Do it!
Please, Eph…it's the only way they'll know." The warrior choked out the rest.
Ephiny
immediately understood why Xena wanted the blessing. Amazon royalty were blessed at birth
as heirs to the throne. This way, their heritage or parentage could never come into
question. The warrior wanted people to forever remember that this child belonged to Xena
of Amphipolis and Gabrielle of Potidaea.
The Regent
nodded and turned to bathe the tiny, still figure.
Xena moved
to the bed where Sartori already stripped the blood soaked sheets from the bed and put
fresh bandages in place. Xena gently sat beside her wife, taking her hand in her own.
Gabrielle's eyes opened, her jaw clenched against what she knew her wife was about to say.
"Brie…"
Xena whispered hoarsely, trying to keep a reign on her own emotions.
"I
know," Gabrielle replied flatly.
Ephiny
placed a tiny feather choker around the baby's neck, smudging herbs across her cheeks and
forehead. She wrapped the child up in a clean blanket and picked the still body up.
"What
will she be named?" The Regent asked, looking between Xena and Gabrielle as the Queen
and her Consort sat gazing at one another.
"Brianna,"
Xena answered without hesitation.
Gabrielle
looked into the blue eyes filled with as much pain and sadness as her own. They argued
many nights back and forth about their baby's name. The young Queen was adamant about not
naming her daughter after herself. Xena, on the other hand, wanted their first child to be
called at least something similar to the name that she loved so well.
The stoic,
dark-haired woman refused to cry, attempting to be strong for her wife. Xena's voice left
no room for discussion, however, as to what their daughter would be named. Gabrielle
looked over at Ephiny and nodded, returning her gaze to the warrior who looked as if the
rug had just been pulled away from her entire life.
Gabrielle
squeezed Xena's hand, acquiescing to her wife's wish. She ground her teeth together
listening to the sounds of Ephiny's chanting. She would not fall apart. Gabrielle would
not allow herself to cry any more tears. She would bear it as an Amazon Queen should,
knowing her wife was in as much pain as she.
Ephiny
turned and held the infant's body in her arms. She wasn't sure either of the women wanted
to actually hold the child, and so she simply stood there.
"The
Princess Brianna," she whispered softly. "Daughter of Queen Gabrielle and her
Consort Xena of Amphipolis."
Gabrielle
took some very deep breaths and Xena could see that the young Queen was trying very hard
not to break down.
Xena could
only look on the sight of her wife, her jaw clenching and releasing as she fought back
tears. This seemed to be the last straw. One last knife in her warrior's heart was the
sight of her tender and compassionate wife, stifling back her own emotions. Xena was
keeping a tenuous hold on her quickly mounting anger, anger brought on by this immense
sorrow. That hold snapped when Xena rose from the bed, holding out her arms for her child.
Ephiny placed the infant in its mother's arms, gazing in concern at the expression in
Xena's eyes.
"Xena?"
Ephiny asked.
"Now
she meets Artemis!" Xena sneered.
The warrior
turned toward the entrance and strode angrily out, slamming the door loudly behind her.