Down Home

By CN Winters

Disclaimers: These characters aren’t mine but Mr. Rob Tapert’s so I’m just borrowing them. As for this story it takes place after Old Ares Had a Farm.


Xena had a grin as they lead their horses down the path. The bard couldn’t ignore it any longer.

"Okay, tell me. What is it?" Gabrielle asked with a chuckle in her voice.

"It’s nothing," Xena smiled.

Gabrielle paused a moment to examine Xena. The grin wasn’t leaving.

"No, it’s something. What is it? Thinking about kissing Ares one last time?"

Xena lost the grin and did a double take. "Noooo," the warrior answered indignant.

"Okay," Gabrielle conceded, satisfied that Xena was being truthful. Still something was up and she didn’t let her eyes leave the warrior.

Xena knew she’d have to give an answer. "I was thinking bout you, me and Ares in bed."

"Oh that’s a lovely thought," Gabrielle answered sarcastically.

Xena did laugh out loud at that reaction.

"You find that funny?" Gabrielle prodded with a playful grin.

"It’s not what you think," Xena sighed with a smile.

"Alright Xena – out with it."

Xena knew the time to be cryptic had passed. "When we were in bed that night you kinda forgot where you were."

"Meaning?" the bard asked utterly confused.

Xena knew there was no turning back now. She had to finish. "Well . . .You rolled over and kinda . . . snuggled . . . with Ares."

"Bull SHIT !"

Xena laughed heartily at the bard’s reaction. "No, really, you did."

"I did?" The bard looked truly horrified but Xena had to laugh in spite of it. "And just what did I do?!"

"Well let’s just say that one hand landed on his forehead and the other . . . well, let’s just say it landed farther south."

Gabrielle paused a moment soaking up Xena’s words before she burst out laughing. "You’re full of it! I did not!"

"Wanna go back and ask Ares?" Xena challenged, pointing behind her toward the farmhouse they just left.

Gabrielle quickly realized Xena was being honest. "Just how far south?" Gabrielle asked cautiously.

"All the way to Egypt sweetheart," Xena chuckled.

Gabrielle closed her eyes and her head hung back in total disbelief and disgust. "Oh Eli give me strength," she sighed.

Xena started to laugh so hard she almost fell off her horse.

"I’m glad I’m here to humor you," Gabrielle said as she took her mare a few paces ahead of Xena.

"Gabrielle," Xena called out as she composed herself. The warrior picked up her pace until she was beside the bard again. "You didn’t know what you were doing. You were asleep. Hell even I rolled over and nuzzled into Ares."

"You did?" Gabrielle asked.

"Yeah but when I felt the stubble I knew - this is not my bard. My bard is not hairy," she chuckled.

"Well you think I would realize that MY WARRIOR doesn’t have that ‘equipment’," Gabrielle chastised herself.

"Not most nights but in that saddlebag back there we’ve got that -."

"Very funny," Gabrielle answered, trying not to laugh.

Xena reached out and gave Gabrielle a light ‘chuck on the shoulder’ that eventually made the bard smile.

"What did Ares do?" Gabrielle asked.

"He said he was in Tartarus," Xena answered deadpan.

Gabrielle threw her head back and laughed. "Good," she answered. "I finally found a way to get his goat."

"You got more than his goat that night," Xena replied, earning her a playful swat from the bard.

"Don’t worry," Xena added, "I ‘extracted’ you before anything happened. I mean you have a habit of cupping me when-."

"Yeah, yeah. I know," Gabrielle answered. "You don’t need to explain." Gabrielle paused a moment. "Wait a second. You mean Ares didn’t ‘remove me’? You did?"

"I think he was in shock," Xena laughed. "And I wasn’t about to let him get any ideas."

"Lookin out for your bard umm?"

"Always," Xena grinned.

"Well I’ll have to do something really special tonight to thank you," Gabrielle answered in a sexy purr.

"Oh really? And what did you have in mind?" Xena asked, a huskiness coming to her voice with the arrival of her arousal.

Gabrielle wiggled her eyebrows. "If we find an inn tonight . . . make sure you bring in the saddlebags."

Xena quivered in anticipation.



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