Is it sex or is it subtext?

Some believe that a delicious meal is as good as sex. If this is the case, then this story contains consensual sex between two women who are in love. If you are under the age of 18, or if eating a delicious meal is illegal where you live, please go to McDonald’s instead of reading this story.


If you are a vegetarian, you may find this story distasteful.




By Djwp



Gabrielle shifted the heavy pack from her shoulder and sighed in relief as she swung open the door to their room.

"Finally!" she breathed, glancing around at the accommodations and smiling as her eyes came to rest upon the bed.

It seemed as though they had been traveling non-stop for an eternity. Xena was determined to get to Thebes by the next full moon and so drove them forward, mercilessly forcing them to swallow countless dusty leagues daily. Day followed night followed day followed night in an endless stream of dirt, rocks, campsites and even worse, dried meat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Quite frankly, Gabrielle didn’t think she could swallow another bite of jerky if her life depended on it, let alone sleep on a bed of rocks and dirt again. When they came upon the next village, the bard stopped in her tracks, turned on the warrior and threatened to knock the princess from her saddle if she didn’t agree to take a room for the night.

Xena had raised an eyebrow and frowned as a steady stream of demands issued forth from her friend.

"I want to stop. Now. I want a room, with a bed and food and not dried meat either. Anything but dried meat … and I want a bath," Gabrielle had stated firmly, holding her staff in striking position should the warrior dare to refuse.

Seconds passed in silence as they regarded one another on the hot and dusty road.

"All right."

Those two words signaled the peace between them.

Without another word, Gabrielle had turned and took off with determined steps for the inn, with only one thing on her mind - a hot bath and bed.

All right, so that was two things.

And one of them was right in front of her.

Gabrielle threw her pack down on the floor, heedless of where it landed and fell back onto the bed with a delighted sigh. She could have stayed there forever, arms and legs stretched out across the soft padding if the heavy steps of a grumpy warrior ascending the stairs hadn’t intruded upon her peace.

"Uh oh. Here, she comes," Gabrielle whispered to herself and then decided she was going to stay right where she was.

The door slammed open as Xena backed into the room, carrying the bulk of their gear. She had stabled Argo, leaving her in the hands of the groom, but was carrying all of their belongings into the inn.

The warrior shot the bard an annoyed look and dropped everything on the floor right on top of Gabrielle’s pack. With a glance, she dared Gabrielle to say a word. The bard purposely ignored her.

"Twenty-five dinars," Xena grumbled.

Gabrielle wiggled on the bed contentedly and made no reply.

"I hope you’re comfortable."

"Very," the bard replied.

"You better be." Xena plopped down into a chair to brood.

Gabrielle sighed and sat up. "It’s a very nice room, Xena." She stood and gestured to the window. "We have a great view!"

"Yeah, of the stable."

"You can keep an eye on Argo."

Xena snorted and looked away. "I'll be smelling horses all night."

Gabrielle chose to ignore the negativity. "The bath is right next door. Hot water. Soap. Clean hair. Remember, how good that feels?" Gabrielle tried to entice the warrior out of her foul mood.

Xena picked a piece of dirt out of her fingernail and flicked it away. "I’m not that dirty."

Now it was Gabrielle’s turn to snort. "That’s not Argo you smell."

Xena’s angry glare fell on the bard’s back as she wandered over to a table. "I don’t know about you, but I’m starving!" Gabrielle’s attention was drawn away from her grouchy partner to a stone tablet proudly displayed as the centerpiece. She picked the tablet up and read, her eyes sparkling as they took in the most welcome words she had ever seen.

"Oh, Xena! Listen to this!" Gabrielle wiped the side of her mouth as she began to involuntarily drool.

"The Tender Loin Inn is proud to present an incredible new service offered only to our guests: the finest cuisine offered in Gastronomia delivered right to your room:

Corinthian Fried Chicken:

Only the most tender and juiciest pieces of chicken, fried in a light, crispy batter, and served with your choice of any two side orders: corn on the cob, mashed potatoes with gravy, coleus slaw, or twice-fried beans."

Gabrielle looked up from the tablet, "That sounds delicious!"

Xena grimaced, "What in Hades is twice-fried beans?"

"Well, how should I know? Don’t order it then, if you don’t want to!"

The bard glared at Xena briefly and then continued to read.

"Then how about this, Xena:

King Burger:

Two king-sized beef patties, tomato, lettuce, pickles, onions, special sauce served on a sesame seed bun. Fetta cheese one dinar extra."

The bard looked up at the warrior expectantly.

"A dinar extra for fetta! That’s footpathway robbery!" Xena grumbled.

Gabrielle sighed and shook her head, "Xena. At least try to get into the spirit of the moment, please? We need this rest and we need food. And, I’m not, I repeat NOT, going to eat your stinky meat tonight!"

Xena shrugged and picked another piece of dirt out of a second fingernail. She took a quick whiff of her armpit and grimaced. Gabrielle was right; she smelled like something, and it wasn't roses.

"All right. Then how does this sound?" Gabrielle flicked a loose strand of golden red hair behind her ear and continued to read from the tablet.

"Taco Tartarus:

Hot and spicy, seasoned chopped mutton topped with shredded lettuce and cheese wrapped in a tortilla shell. Your choice of corn or flour tortilla."

Gabrielle looked up for Xena’s reply.

"Is the cheese extra?"

Gabrielle looked back down.

"It doesn’t say."

"What’s a tortilla? Is it anything like a flotilla?" Xena wondered.

"Hades if I know," Gabrielle replied.

"Hmmm. Taco Tartarus. Sounds appropriate. I better get used to the food anyway."

"That’s not funny, Xena. Come on, aren’t you hungry?"

"No," Xena pouted. "There’s nothing I like."

"Fine then. Starve. I’m going to order something."

Gabrielle looked at the bottom of the tablet, hoping there would be directions on how to order.

"Fill out the scroll order form located next to this tablet and give it to the barkeep. Your order is guaranteed to be delivered in less than half a candlemark or it’s free!"

"Well, that sounds like a deal to me," Gabrielle announced, beaming happily.

The bard retrieved the scroll order form from the table and filled out her order.

"I’m going to get the Corinthian Fried Chicken. Are you sure you don’t want anything?"

The warrior shrugged noncommittally.

"I know you’ve got to be hungry, Xena. I’m going to order you the Taco Tartarus. Will that be okay?"

The warrior shrugged again.

Gabrielle stared at her friend in annoyance and wrote on the form, not taking her eyes from the warrior.

"One order of Taco Tartarus for the Warrior Whiner."

She slammed the quill down on the table and stomped out of the room to give the order to the barkeep. Xena followed her exit and chuckled. She just loved to play ‘bait the bard’. Then she whiffed the air around her. A bath was definitely in order.





Gabrielle opened the door and walked back into the room, momentarily surprised that Xena was nowhere to be found.

"Xena?" she asked aloud, wondering where her partner had disappeared to. Then she noticed the door adjoining their room to the bathing room ajar and heard the sounds of splashing. Gabrielle smiled to herself and moved quietly for a peek inside. Although her back was towards the door, Gabrielle could see that Xena was immersed up to her eyeballs in water and bubbles, thoroughly enjoying the bath.

Gabrielle thought a moment about joining her, then changed her mind.

"Let her enjoy herself. Maybe it will change her mood."

She was too hungry to think about bathing, anyway. The bard set about preparing the table for what she hoped would be a scrumptious meal.

True to their word, less than half a candlemark later, there was a knock at the door.

"Just a minute!" Gabrielle called and rummaged through the pile of packs, bedrolls and pouches that Xena had unceremoniously dumped on the floor to find her own pack. She retrieve a pouch filled with dinars and opened the door.

"Your order?" the delivery boy asked, extending a basket full of food.

"Hmm! Yes!" Gabrielle answered with a grin, grabbed the basket and retreated into the room to place the delivery on the table. She scooted back to the door and the waiting delivery boy.

"How much?"

"Four dinars."

"That’s reasonable." She counted out four dinars into the waiting palm of the delivery boy and smiled. He looked down into his hand and grunted.

Gabrielle appeared confused. "Four dinars. That’s what you said isn’t it?"

The delivery boy stood firm with his hand still extended.

Gabrielle, shrugged, smiled at the boy and closed the door, practically running to the table and the basket of food.

Outside the room, the delivery boy looked down at his hand.

"These new services," he shook his head, "I wonder if it will ever catch on."





"Xena, the food is here!" Gabrielle yelled to the warrior in the tub, "Better hurry before it gets cold!"

Gabrielle started to unwrap the precious bundles in the basket. She displayed them on the table hoping the arrangement would resemble a small feast, further lightening Xena’s mood. She placed Xena’s tacos neatly in front of the warrior’s chair, and then arranged her own chicken and side orders, placing all of her choices carefully and within easy reach. She didn’t want anything to slow down the eating process. It all looked delicious.

Xena walked into the room wrapped in only a towel. The warrior’s beautiful black hair was wet, shiny and clean. Her olive skin glowed with a faintly red tint, kissed by heat of a very hot bath.

Gabrielle’s eyes lit up at the sight of the delectably wet warrior princess. She didn’t know which looked more appetizing, Xena or the food. Gabrielle grinned softly allowing her eyes to follow a path made by tiny water droplets as they slid down from Xena’s temple, slipped along a line across the side of her jaw, down the pulse of her neck and then disappeared into the cleavage of her breast. The bard unconsciously licked her lips.

"It looks delicious," she mumbled.

"Yes, it does," Xena agreed smiling, and sat down looking at the food on the table. She smiled brilliantly at the feast of chicken breasts, thighs, legs, and side orders Gabrielle had spread out for herself and then frowned down at her own meager meal. She had to admit, Gabrielle’s chicken breasts looked much more appetizing than her two lonely tacos.

"Are you finally going to admit you’re hungry?" Gabrielle asked, eyes shining at the sight of Xena practically drooling over her breasts.

Xena nodded slowly and locked eyes with the bard.

"I’m starving," she answered, her voice a growl.

Gabrielle raised her chin in satisfaction.

"I thought so."

She held Xena’s stare and let her lips curve into a small smile.

"Well, you can have whatever you want."

"Anything I want?" the warrior repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Anything," Gabrielle confirmed softly.

"I can have whatever I desire?" Xena repeated, wanting to be sure she had not misinterpreted the bard’s intentions.

Gabrielle did not allow her stare to falter as she responded.

"Anything," the bard repeated, her voice low and soft.

The warrior stood slowly and rounded the table to stand in front of her partner, their eyes still locked together.

"Anything I want?" Xena repeated in a whisper. The bard nodded slowly in agreement.

Gabrielle watched in fascination as Xena's eyes sparkled in anticipation and she extended her hand to slowly capture one of Gabrielle’s breasts. The bard gulped a sharp intake of breath when she realized what the warrior had chosen.

Xena’s fingers felt the shape of the breast without looking away from Gabrielle, reveling at how firm and succinct it felt against her fingertips. She had definitely chosen correctly. She watched the bard’s expression carefully for any sign of protest. Finding none, she bent her head down to bring the breast to her lips.

Gabrielle smiled in pleasure as Xena moaned when her lips brushed against the tender skin.

The warrior’s eyes rolled into the back of her head and she could no longer delay sinking her teeth into the succulent flesh.

The first bite was far better than she had anticipated. In fact, this was the best flesh she had ever tasted. The warrior vocalized her approval and opened her eyes to glance up at the watching bard. The pleasure was reciprocated as Gabrielle thoroughly enjoyed watching Xena ravish her prize.

The bard’s obvious pleasure was all the permission Xena needed to completely decimate the sweet meal at her lips. She attacked it with wanton abandon, not stopping until she had bitten or licked every curve, sucked and chewed every piece of tender, exposed flesh. She ended her assault at the sweet and crusty hard point, savoring this flavorful morsel until the very end.

Xena lifted her head and smiled at the bard, licking her tongue along satisfied lips.

"Would you like more?" Gabrielle asked, knowing that the warrior could never be satisfied by one breast alone.

Xena nodded fiercely. Gabrielle dropped her eyes demurely, giving her consent for the warrior to continue. Xena immediately grabbed the other breast and attacked it with the same fervor as the first.

"You’re leaving me nothing but skin and bones!" Gabrielle laughed huskily.

"That’s my intention." Xena growled back, and pushed Gabrielle down into her chair. The warrior may have finished with the breasts but her voracious appetite was far from satiated.

Xena stood at full height and narrowed her eyes down at the bard, daring Gabrielle to try and stop her. Gabrielle made no objections whatsoever, but leaned back happily in the chair, motioning her approval for Xena to proceed as she wished.

The bard’s consent brought a slight smile to the warrior’s lips and her eyebrow arched as she reached down, this time to firmly grab a leg. Gabrielle’s eyes followed Xena’s hand and she smirked as the warrior roughly pulled at the leg, exposing the tender, delectable meat of the thigh.

Xena smiled in complete rapture at the sight of the succulent juices that flowed out from the center to greet her. It took all of her self-control not to ravage both legs and everything else then and there with all the savageness of an animal. Had she not wanted to savor the experience, she would have done just that, but Gabrielle was watching and the warrior wanted the bard to experience every bite right along with her.

Instead of tearing at the flesh, as the darkness inside of her urged, Xena dipped her tongue with deliberate indolence into every crevice to lap up the luscious juices. Her efforts at control were fully rewarded as Gabrielle eyes lit with obvious delight.

Xena closed her eyes, moaned, and licked again. Then bit, then licked, then bit, alternating her attack between long, luxurious strokes of her tongue and the almost vicious attacks with her teeth.

Gabrielle watched Xena until she could no longer stand it. Her own hunger was welling up out of control as well. She wanted to pull Xena’s mouth away and finish the job herself, but was afraid of the warrior’s reaction should she deny her satisfaction at this point.

Xena seemed to sense Gabrielle’s need. She never wanted to deny Gabrielle anything, but there was no way she was going to let Gabrielle finish this. The warrior paused in the ministrations of her mouth and looked to the bard for consent to use her fingers.

The hunger growing in Gabrielle’s eyes warned that whatever she was going to do, she better do it now and be done with it. Xena’s eyes sparkled as she dipped one finger slowly and carefully into the succulent juices, then pulled out to lick the slickly coated finger with her tongue.

"Hmmm," Xena moaned, pleased when her partner smiled.

Xena returned her finger, grinning at how easily it slipped inside the tender flesh. She drove her finger in and out in an attempt to separate the flesh, until it became apparent that she would need two fingers to finish this job. When Xena brought her thumb into play, Gabrielle realized that Xena’s intention was to devour everything, leaving nothing behind. She wouldn’t want it any other way.

The bard captured Xena’s intense gaze with her own, wanting her partner to know that everything she gave her, Gabrielle gave to her out of love. She could see Xena smile in understanding, even as she continued her onslaught. Gabrielle leaned her head back, closed her eyes and groaned loudly.

When Xena was finished, she had indeed left nothing but the bones.

The warrior plopped down into her chair with a big, satisfied burp and wiped the savory juices from her lips with the back of her hand.

Gabrielle lifted her head to stare at the decimated remains of her meal. She smiled into the twinkling blues eyes of the warrior and waved her hand at the table.

"So, are you satisfied?" Gabrielle asked with a grin.

Xena lifted a brow and began to rummage through the remaining wrappers and plates of her own meal, preparing to pounce on the tacos as well.

Gabrielle slapped Xena’s hand away.

"I guess I’m satisfied." Xena replied with a smirk, noticing the hunger taking over the bard’s eyes, "The question is, are you?"

Somehow, the warrior who hadn’t wanted to stop in the village in the first place, managed to hog first the bath and then all of the food. It was definitely Gabrielle’s turn.

Gabrielle stood menacingly up from her chair and stalked saucily towards Xena.

"Oh, I will be," Gabrielle promised, "After I eat your taco."



The End


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