Staring out into the early morning sky, the young woman sat motionless enjoying the crisp October air. She watched the hues of the sky turn to shades of red as the first hints of a new day dawned. Her mind wandered through a list of nursery rhymes and other assorted phrases that one kept from their childhood, looking for the reference of a red sky at morning. She thought for a few moments, then the fleeting phrases came to her mind. ‘Red sky in the morning shepherds take warning. Red sky at night shepherds’ delight.’ Chuckling to herself she thought aloud. "I wonder if there is any truth to that?"

"Any truth to what, Danni?" The motherly charge nurse was standing a few feet away from her, clutching at her lab jacket to keep the crisp air from invading the warmth of her clothing.

"Oh…Hi Mom! I didn’t realize you were standing there." Her voice was whimsical as she continued. "You know, about the red sky in the morning."

"Sailors take warning," Karen chimed in. "That one you mean?"

"Sailors?" The blonde shook her head. "I thought it was shepherds," she wrinkled her nose.

"Shepherds, sailors does it really make a difference? They are both waiting for the storm that’s starting to brew around them." Mom chuckled, "I guess it was what time period that you grew up in."

"Yeah, I guess so." She gazed out at the deepening hue of the sky, mesmerized by the changing patterns in the morning light. "Do you really think that they take warning?"

"I think there has to be some truth to it, otherwise why would it be passed down from one generation to the next?" Karen walked over to the bench that Danni was setting on. "Mind if I sit down?" She pointed to the other half of the bench.

"No, go right ahead."

The two women sat watching the ever-changing sky turn from night into dawn, each lost in they’re own thoughts. Mom looked intently at the petite nurse; her mood was very introspective. Karen had noticed a change in the vivacious woman. She seemed to keep a little more to herself these last few weeks. She wondered if there was something troubling her. Pondering the thought, she made her decision to act. "Danni, is there anything that you want to talk about? I’ve noticed that you have been in the doldrums lately."

The young woman sighed, leaning forward she worked her hands under her thighs, locking her elbows. She looked down to the ground in front of her and then back to the concerned friend beside her. "I wish there was," she whispered, "then I could do something to help."

Karen was puzzled. "I’m not following you."

"I’m worried about Garrett, Mom. There is something going on and it’s tormenting her. I just don’t know what it is or how to help her."

The charge nurse let the mother instinct in her take over. "You live with her, I’m sure that you would notice before any of us would. Has she given you any clue as to what it might be? Maybe she is just worried about her work or where she will be next year," she offered.

Danni looked at her, "I don’t think it’s her work, Mom. She’s one of the best Trauma Fellows that I’ve seen." The nurse became a little sullen at her next thought. "She could go anywhere she wants next year. A hospital would be crazy not to want someone like her on their staff."

Picking up a note of regret at the possible loss of a friend, Karen tried to change the subject. "What makes you think that something is tormenting her?"

Shrugging her shoulders, she looked back out to the sky’s first light. "I’ve noticed that she hasn’t been sleeping. Last weekend we were both off together. I could hear her mumbling and tossing and turning in her bed," she said showing signs of embarrassment. "It sounds like the same nightmare every time, all weekend long. I almost went and knocked on her bedroom door Sunday night to see if she was all right."

"Have you offered to talk about it?" She held up her hand in a halting motion, "forget that I asked that." Karen smiled, she knew that would be the first thing the young woman would do. She thought about how Danni always looked after her friends; always more concerned about their welfare than her own. ‘Just like the parable of the shepherd and his flock,’ she mused. Karen started to giggle as she thought about that. ‘What a match…the shepherd and the sailor.’

"She says that nothing is wrong. At least that’s what she said when I asked her over breakfast on Sunday morning. I tried to bring it up in the conversation but she just kept changing the subject." Pressing her lips tightly together and inhaling deeply she shook her head. "Mom, she’s been like this since that night she covered call for Rene, when his kids were born."

Karen placed her hand on Danni’s back, letting it move in a soothing circling motion. "Sometimes you have to let people work out their own problems first. All you can do is let her know that you are there for her, and wait." She paused to think about the talented surgeon. "She’s an intelligent woman, she’ll talk when she’s ready." Danni turned her head to look at Karen, her mouth opening to speak. "Shhh!" She whispered stopping the young woman. "Just be ready to listen when she is ready to talk."

Nodding, Danni wiped at the single tear that had escaped her eye, thinking about her beleaguered roommate.

Mom rubbed her arms feigning a shiver, "It’s too cold for me out here, I’m going in. Why don’t you take a minute to pull yourself together before you come back inside?"

Danni nodded, "Thanks, Mom."

The charge nurse got up and moved towards the door. Opening it, she turned and looked at the solitary figure. She thought about the question concerning the truth to the red sky in the morning and considered her two-pseudo daughters. "I hope this time, both the shepherd and the sailor will heed the warning," she muttered to herself as she went inside.

Sitting there in the cool air, the nurse looked up into the heavens and realized that she was just a speck in the workings of the universe. Sighing, she closed her eyes and offered a prayer for strength and the wisdom to be able to help her friend when the time came.

*****************

Sleep had not come easily to her this night. Her dreams filled with nightmarish visions of what she had hoped would be her forgotten past. She cursed her memory, begging for a night of amnesic bliss. Forcing her eyelids open, she searched the blackness of the room for the neon numbers of the digital clock on the nightstand. It read 0437. She snorted in disbelief, "Well, that’s a half an hour more than I had at 0400." She reached over and turned off the alarm before it went off at her usual wake up time: 0445. "No sense in trying to go back to sleep," she mumbled.

Throwing off her covers, she let her long legs slide over the edge of the bed. Pulling her torso up to a sitting position, she stared blurry-eyed into the darkness of the room, trying to get her thoughts organized for the day ahead. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her mind but it didn’t seem to help. She sat there motionless and for the first time since she moved in, she noticed how quiet the house was without the small blonde in the next room. It had felt so comfortable the past weekend with both of them home at the same time. The dead quiet was almost unnerving to her now, making her feel even more alone. ‘What I wouldn’t give to hear Danni stirring out in the kitchen right now.’ Sighing, she planted her feet on the floor, pushing herself up off of the bed and began to make her way to the bathroom down the hall.

Shivering, she felt her body reacting to the cooler temperature of the house, the goose bumps on her flesh reminding her of a plucked chicken. She smirked and thought about how much like a chicken she really was. She had always met any problem head-on, but this was something else. Problems, she could deal with, but the actions of the past jumping back into her life were more than she could contend with. Her mind drifted back to the past weekend. She had hoped for a relaxing one but those damn nightmares would not let up. She was going to have to do something about them, they evidently were not just keeping her from sleep, but Danni also. Garrett thought about the small blonde and how delicately she had tried to open the pathway for discussion about what was troubling the surgeon. ‘I can’t believe her, always worrying about everyone else.’ She remembered the concerned look on the face of the nurse as she sat across from her. ‘You’d think she would have more regard about her life than mine. I just don’t understand her.’ Garrett had remained the same toward Danni, stoic as ever. She didn’t need to pass her nightmares on to anyone. They were hers alone. "Alone," she mumbled under her breath. "It all stems back to the same thing." The surgeon could see no sense in burdening someone else with her demons. What good would that do anyway, except to allow them to haunt more than just her. ‘No, I did the right thing by evading her questions. She doesn’t need to know any of this.’ She tried to chase the image of the blonde imp out of her mind and get on with her morning ritual, but it kept fading into view like it never wanted to let her go. "I definitely need more sleep," as she stumbled into the bathroom doorway.

Squinting to shield her eyes, she flicked on the bathroom light. Slowly her eyes adjusted to the coruscating light bouncing off of the white walls and fixtures. Looking into the mirror she could not believe it was her image; her dark hair stood out from her head in a wild sleep-deprived manner, dark circles around her eyes. ‘Jeez, I’ve got to get some sleep tonight,’ she

thought. "Shit!" She hung her head with a sigh of disappointment, realizing that she was on-call for the next 24 hours. "I guess a little make-up might help me to look a little less zombie-like." She winced at the thought. She seldom wore make-up and was thankful for the good looks to pull it off.

She stepped into the shower and turned it on, hoping that the cold water would wake her body up and stimulate her mind. Realizing that she was hoping for the impossible, she pushed herself to complete her morning ritual.

Stopping in the middle of applying the finishing touches to her make-up, she looked into the mirror and cringed. "Why am I doing this?" It was as though the mirror had a life of its own. Suddenly she saw her own reflection talking back to her. ‘Because you look like a crazed lunatic without it. What do you think your patients would say if they saw you looking like that? Hmmm.’ The eyebrow of the image slowly raised in speculation, daring her to answer. She wrinkled her nose, sticking her tongue out at the mirror. "All right!" She continued the finishing touches mumbling, "but I don’t have to like it." Now she was really worried, the hallucination of her talking to herself only proved how much she desperately needed sleep. She looked in the mirror, appraising her efforts. Not too bad, if she had to admit it, at least she resembled a human being. "Satisfied?" She challenged her image to answer. She waited for a moment, then turned, shutting off the light and left to begin her day.

She paused at the door, taking stock of the possessions that filled her arms. Her mind was in such a disorganized quandary that she knew she would have to make a determined effort with any task she did. She ran down the list of items necessary to sustain her for the next 24 to 36 hours, checking to make sure that they were packed. "Daily planner, toiletries, change of clothes, money, car keys, house key, pager, I.D. badge. Check!" She sighed, "Now, all I have to do is to get through the next day without any trouble." She crossed her fingers, figuring that it couldn’t hurt, and made a silent wish. She then left the house and made her way to the Chevy Blazer parked at the curb. Loading her necessities into the open tailgate, she marveled at the gorgeous red hues of the morning sky. ‘Just my luck, looks like there is a storm brewing on the horizon. It figures.’ "So much for a good day." With that thought in mind, she climbed into the driver’s seat and set her course for the inner city trauma center.

*******************

The daylight shift had begun to receive report on the remaining patients in the emergency room when the loud shrill beeps of the trauma pager went off. With a sigh of relief, Rosie handed Steve the pager saying, "Here’s your report. It’s the only thing I was handling last night." She smiled and began to walk away.

"Trauma page, trauma page. Level 1 trauma, MVA car into pole. Female unrestrained driver complaining of shortness of breath. ETA to your facility is 4 minutes. Level 1 trauma page."

Steve closed his eyes murmuring, "It’s going to be one of those days, I can tell." His eyes drifted over to the assignment board to see whom he would be working with. "Dr. Trivoli! Well, it can’t be that bad now." He took off down the hall to the trauma room to get ready.

Rosie waited for her friend to finish giving report to the oncoming nurse as she watched the activity around the desk. Out of the corner of her eye, the nurse saw a flurry of excitement. In the center of it was the E.R. Attending, Ian McCormick. He was trying to fight his way through the gathering of staff clogging the hallway. Without warning, he stopped, throwing his hands up in the air. "Will everyone please clear the hallway!" His face grew red as the decibels raised with his thundering voice. As if by magic, the sea of human bodies parted and a clear path was made the entire length of the hallway leading to the trauma rooms in the rear. Seeing that his words were heeded and a little embarrassed about the fact that he yelled, Ian sheepishly repeated his appreciation for the path as he made his way hurriedly to the trauma room. Reaching the area, he quickly searched for the formidable Dr. Trivoli. He had made his mind up after that first day never to let her beat him to the O.R. without seeing a trauma patient in his emergency room first.

The door at the end of the hall opened and the tall surgeon emerged, her presence immediately was felt in the hallway. The hectic ritual of dressing for the trauma became a relaxed routine when she was there. The staff had come to respect and appreciate her quiet but commanding demeanor.

Ian eyed her closely as she made her way towards him, flustered that he had been caught wiping his baldhead with a handkerchief. He thought of her as strikingly beautiful as well as a damn good surgeon. She definitely didn’t need to be someone’s ‘little woman’ to feel good about herself. He thought about that for a moment and considered his own choices in the women that had adorned his past. None had been strong or self-sufficient like Garrett Trivoli. Instead, they had all looked up to him as the great and all-knowing doctor. Well, that was until they divorced him. He frowned as he thought about his three failed marriages and the huge amount that was missing from his paychecks each month as it was divided between the alimony payments and child support. The only thing he had to show for the few short years of combined marriages was a son, Jonathan who lived with his third wife in New Jersey and a daughter, Elaine, in Florida now attending college. He hadn’t been a strong fixture in her life but was proud that she was following in his footsteps with a major in Pre-Med.

He thought about his first wife and how she had been so frail and quiet until the night she caught him with another woman, walking into his office at the hospital. She had packed and taken the small baby girl with her before he could get off of his shift. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Perhaps, if he were different, he would not be a three-time loser in love. You learn from your mistakes, and now, Ian realized that marriage for him was nothing but that, a mistake. What he needed was someone who didn’t need to be in a committed relationship, or who didn’t have time to worry about the infidelities of a partner. He wondered about the tall surgeon, his mind questioning if she played just as hard as she worked. His eyes twinkled with delight at that thought, and he decided to find out the answer for himself.

She strode past the Chairman of the Emergency Department and over to the rack of lead aprons. Choosing one, she began putting it on as she walked over in his direction. She said, smiling coyly at him, "So, I see you come a little faster these days, Dr. McCormick." She adjusted the Velcro closure to secure the apron in place.

He tipped his head in her direction, a slight smile tugging at his lips. "I like to get the most out of my efforts, Dr. Trivoli. Sometimes that means you have to adjust your approach." He watched her pick up a gown and thrust her arms down into the sleeves. "Perhaps we could discuss it over lunch."

She looked at him with an eyebrow hovering upwards, as her hands secured the gown. She opened her mouth to speak, but the overhead page alerting everyone that the trauma was in the department broke the silence. "Maybe another time, I’m a little busy at the moment."

He watched her smile become masked by the protective shield that she tied in place. He was fascinated by the agility with which her hands eased into the gloves, his mind wondering what they would feel like on his body. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed the smirk on his face, but the arrival of the trauma patient had captured all of their attention.

*************

Steve sat blurry-eyed, staring down at the papers in front of him. It was late afternoon but he felt as though he had been there in the trauma room for days on end. The constant bombardment of injured patients from various scenarios of accidents was taking its toll on him. He was glad that his shift would soon be over and the remainder of the night would be his for rest and relaxation.

The nurse looked over to the tall woman leaning against the wall. Her body begging for its support to keep her upright. She had seen every patient that Steve had taken care of and the four others that had been picked up by the back-up trauma nurse, Lori, when he was unavailable. It seemed to be taking its toll on her as she started to be a little on edge and quick to snap with a reply when asked a question. He wondered what made her do it, to willingly punish her body with the long hours and grueling conditions. Then he remembered the look on her face when she was able to tell the patient that the injuries would heal and not to worry. That was the driving force behind the surgeon, the patient’s recovery. He admired her for her unselfishness, her urge to put the welfare of others above her own.

Steve rubbed his eyes in an attempt to see the writing better, to complete his paper work before yet another trauma patient could come in. The beeper was engaged in alerting the team again before he could finish compiling all of the needed paperwork into the trauma folder. It was as though some god was playing a cruel joke on them. The nurse dropped his head, breathed in deeply, and then with an exaggerated sigh, pushed himself into an upright position. He staggered over to the rack of lead aprons and began the process all over again.

Steve spun around to see Dr. Trivoli next to him, reaching for a lead apron. "Looks like we are going for a record today."

The surgeon looked at him, her eyebrow raising, "Just my luck, too." She was tired from lack of sleep and by the looks of things, the prospect of her getting any shut-eye tonight was nonexistent. For once in her life, Garrett wished that there would be nothing more to do; no patients in need of her skills. Mindlessly she dressed in the gown, mask, and gloves, waiting for the traumatized patient to arrive.

"Trauma’s in the department, Trauma’s in the department."

The squawking of the overhead voice brought her back to the present. The surgeon shot a questioning look at the nurse next to her.

Noting the bewildered look on her face, Steve leaned in toward her jogging her memory with the whispered words. "Multiple stab wounds."

She nodded her head, now remembering the report that was given with the trauma alert. Mentally she prepared herself for another grueling session in the O.R. suite. She looked up at the clock on the wall, it was only 1752. ‘Only twelve more hours to go,’ she thought. ‘How many more can we possibly get?’

*****************

Danni lingered at her computer, reading through her E-mails. It was close to the time that she should be leaving for work, but she wanted to leave a note for Garrett just in case the night became too hectic. She thought about her roommate and her troubled sleep, wanting to help her in any way that she could.

Danni

"There, that should make it sound like I need the rest and relaxation." Her nose wrinkled as she smiled. "The only way to get her to take it easy is to make her think that I need it. Well, so be it." With only her friend’s best interest at heart, she struck the enter key, sending the E-mail on its way.

Danni noticed the time on her computer, it was 1815. "Damn, I’m going to be late if I don’t hurry." She quickly shut down her terminal and gathered her knapsack and keys. She walked briskly through the house as she pulled her coat on. Opening the door, her eyes scanned the horizon. ‘Well, it doesn’t look like any storm hit today while I slept. Hmmm…I wonder if it passed us by.’ The small woman shrugged her shoulders, then made her way to her car parked several spaces down the street. She entered it, and turned the key in the ignition. Using the moment to check her appearance in the vanity mirror, she let the engine warm up. Securing her seatbelt in place, the young woman looked up and down the street then hastily pulled out of the parking space on her way to work.

*************

Rosie stood adjusting her scrubs as the door opened and a small blonde figure darted in hurriedly, making her way to the locker that housed her apparel for work. The nurse had finished putting the stethoscope around her neck when she eyed her friend’s rushed mannerisms. "You running late or just that anxious to get in to work?" She shook her head. "You got time. Besides, I understand that Garrett just took a trauma patient up to surgery about a half an hour ago."

"Oh!" She cleared her throat. "You are just coming on, right?" Danni wondered how Rosie had known about Garrett’s whereabouts.

"Yep, but I ducked in and looked at the assignment board first. That’s when I heard them talking about how bad it’s been with traumas today." She closed her locker door and turned to face her friend. "You and me in trauma, it should be a good night," she smiled.

The petite nurse quickly dressed, pulled her necessary accessories off of the shelf, and closed the locker. "So, I guess I’m Trauma One, huh?"

Rosie laughed, "You better believe it. I was that last night, remember?"

Danni slide into her shoes. "Yeah, I hope the night isn’t too busy." She hoped with all her heart for her friend’s sake. She stood upright and made a final adjustment to her pants, "Well, let’s get out there."

The taller nurse sauntered over to the door, holding it open she motioned for the woman to advance through it. "Age before beauty…er…I mean…after you," she joked. Danni just smiled and shook her head.

They went down the hall through the main entrance of the E.R. where a stern-looking charge nurse met them. Karen sat at the desk peering over her reading glasses at the two nurses. She motioned to her watch and gave a dissatisfied frown. That was all she did, words were not necessary to convey her meaning.

"We must be a minute late," Rosie whispered.

"Shh! She’ll hear you," Danni turned and whispered back. "Sorry, Mom." Her face full of innocence as she watched Karen begin to smile, causing them all to giggle.

"You two like to push it to the last second, don’t you?" Karen shuffled the papers on the desk. "I’ve been waiting to see you two."

The bewildered nurses looked at each other, each one trying to think of what they could have possibly done wrong. They approached the older nurse cautiously. "You wanted to see us about what, Mom?" Rosie always used the term of endearment, hoping that it would lessen any possible problems.

The charge nurse sighed. "Why do you always think that it’s something bad? Hmmm? Is there something you need to worry about?" She eyeballed the taller nurse, waiting to see if she offered any information.

"No, nothing to worry about. Honest!" The answer came back quickly from the small blonde.

"Yeah, right. What she said," the auburn-haired nurse said, pointing to the blonde. The look on her face was one of complete, forced innocence.

Karen rolled her eyes, "You two are going to be the death of me." Each of the nurses smiled trying her best not to laugh. "I just wanted you to help Steve finish up his paperwork on the traumas, so that he can get out of here at a reasonable time. He’s had a pretty busy day." She used her hands to shoo them along. "He’s in the back, now go. Danni…"

"I know, Mom, I’m Trauma One, I’ll get report too." She smiled at the older nurse, then turned and headed down the hall.

Karen winked, "That’s my girls!" She watched them with the loving eyes of a mother.

They rounded the corner to see Steve sitting at the long desk, mounds of papers stacked in neat piles lining its length. The male nurse looked as though he had waged a long and tiring battle with the gods that controlled the flow of traumas. The expression on his face was one of relief when he saw his co-workers coming over to him. "Thank god!" He clasped his hands together in mock prayer. "My prayers have been answered. Finally this day from hell is over." He made no attempt to conceal his disdain for the last 12 hours of work.

"I’m your actual relief. Anything I need to know about?" The petite blonde studied his face. It was drawn and tired looking. Danni wondered how badly her roommate looked at this point. She accepted the trauma team pager from him and clipped it to her scrub pants after she cleared the previously issued pages.

Exhausted, Steve shook his head. "Nothing coming in at this time. I just have to send off all of the paper work." He motioned to the desk full of piled papers. "It’s been so busy, I haven’t had the time to get to it." He sighed deeply. "I hate to stick you with it."

Holding her hand up, Danni spoke. "We’ll take care of it. You just go and head home."

Steve got up to leave. "Thanks, I appreciate it." He slowly started down the hall to the locker room.

"Hey, Steve! Be careful on your way home, we wouldn’t want you coming in as a trauma now, would we?" Rosie yelled after him to get his attention. The tired man just kept on walking, glad to have a chance to go home to relax. She turned to her fellow nurse, "I guess he can’t take a joke." They laughed openly and started in on the task at hand.

***************

The tall surgeon trudged from the doctor’s lounge with a cup of dark, black coffee in her hand. She slowly brought it up to her mouth, praying with each sip that it would keep her awake. She was amused that last night when she could sleep, she hadn’t been able to, and now when it was imperative that she be awake, able to function at a moment’s notice, she could barely keep her eyes open. She could try for some shut-eye but she was afraid that she would not wake up when the trauma pager went off. "By the gods!" She looked down at the beeping pager. "Not again!"

The crackling voice began its recital. "Trauma page, Trauma page. Twenty-year-old male patient unrestrained passenger involved in a minor MVA. Level 2 trauma page. ETA 5 minutes to your facility via ambulance."

Glancing at her watch, she shook her head and wondered when it would all stop. It was only 1953 and already she had seen a total of 15 traumas since 0600. She could feel herself becoming tired and irritable. ‘Perhaps this night will be over soon,’ she thought. ‘Yeah, fat chance of that.’ With that thought in mind she chugged down the remainder of the coffee, praying that it would do the job. She paused only long enough to dispose of the now empty Styrofoam cup before making her way down to the Trauma Room to await the next patient’s arrival.

The team was moving sluggishly as they donned the trauma apparel. The lead aprons seemed to weigh twice as much as when they had started thirteen hours ago. The medical school students appeared to be the ones showing the lack of energy the worst. It was their inexperience with the long grueling hours that was their undoing.

Garrett had dressed at her usual pace, and took her position on the left side of the empty stretcher. She leaned stiff-armed on the bed, trying to take some of the weight off of her back and legs. She closed her eyes in an effort to summon all of her strength to make it through the remainder of the night. She could hear the lively talking and joking of the fresh set of nurses as they waited for the patient to arrive. The only energy in any abundance seemed to be held by them. She thanked the gods for sending her a team of nurses that she knew and worked well with. As she saw it, this would be the only saving grace to the rest of the night.

Danni studied the surgeon intently as the patient was wheeled into the room, the medics giving their hasty report. She could see the deeply furrowed brow that shadowed the lusterless blue orbs of her roommate. This was so unlike her friend. Her eyes had always held an air of excitement about them. She thought back to the first time she had gazed into those crystal blue pools of emotion and the feeling of Déjà vu that had come over her. For some reason, the spark in those eyes had set off a feeling so powerful that it had caused the young nurse to stand in awe of the figure in front of her. Somewhere in time she had known this woman before. Where or when, it didn’t matter. What did matter was that there was an undeniable bond between them, a bond that would become recognizant to them both in time. Danni put aside her thoughts when she heard the familiar tones of the surgeon signaling the transference of the patient to the hospital stretcher.

"Ready? On my count, one, two, three." The tall woman stepped back allowing the ambulance stretcher enough clearance to be removed, as the rest of the team converged on the patient, each with their own task to perform. The initial examination assuring the patient’s airway, breathing, and circulation was completed to the surgeon’s satisfaction. She then began her secondary survey of the young man before her. She explained what she was doing to him as she moved from body part to body part to ascertain whether or not he had sustained any injuries in the minor MVA. Working her way down his long body, it became obvious to her that the medical student on the right side was standing motionless with his hands resting on the young man’s groin. She followed the arms up until the face of the student was clearly visible. His eyes were closed and if she didn’t know better, she would have to say that he was asleep. It couldn’t have been worse if he had been a sentry caught sleeping on guard duty. He was going to be made an example of. There was no sleeping when duty called! No, not in her book there wasn’t.

"You," she pointed to the resident standing next to the dozing team member.

"Take him out into the hallway." Her voice was low as it rumbled across the room, commanding immediate obedience. "Then step in here and take his place."

The surgeon finished her examination of the injured man, finding only a few broken ribs to be the reason for his breathing problem. The chest x-ray had confirmed it. She felt justified in ordering the patient a twenty-three hour observation bed. She wanted to watch him overnight just to make sure that a pneumothorax did not develop.

Danni called in a report on the patient to the assigned floor that would watch him. Then the nurse readied his chart and made arrangements for him to be transported to his designated bed while Garrett addressed the medical student.

The raven-haired woman removed her mask, gloves, and gown as she stormed out of the room. The rest of the team had disbursed, leaving the lonely-looking figure standing in the hall. His face grew pale as the surgeon came closer to him. She motioned for him to enter the conference room ahead of her. She followed him in and closed the door. Pacing back and forth as she removed the lead apron, she gathered her thoughts. Relieved of its weight, the surgeon stood to her full height, slowly inhaling before she spoke. Her eyes surveyed the form before her.

"I’m sorry…I was trying to concentrate…" his thoughts were in pieces as he nervously tried to excuse his actions. "I didn’t mean to…I haven’t stopped all day."

Her brow raised as she listened to his jumbled attempt to justify his action. Each attempt only adding to her anger. Her feelings were screaming deep inside of her to rid the medical profession of this poor excuse for a doctor wannabe before he truly endangered a patient’s life. She held up her hand trying to put an end to his ramblings. "You’d do yourself more of a service if you would stop talking now." Her voice was low and unwavering.

His mouth dropped open as he stared at her menacing form.

"And just what field of specialty is it that you propose to be interested in, when and if you become a physician?" Her steel blue eyes were narrowed at him.

He gulped. His throat was dry, and he found it hard to speak. "Radiology, like my…my father," he stammered.

"I should have guessed as much!" She thought about the cushy job of a radiologist, where, once out of residency and fellowship years, the only tough subspecialty was that of an angiographer. They were often referred to as the "bankers" of medicine in their comfortable 9 to 5 work hours, where every night was filled with sleep. "You’ve got a long way to go before you can enjoy that life style. I suggest that you not fall asleep again in my presence during a trauma or I’ll personally see to it that you never get that title of Doctor." Her words were harsh and without feeling, like the metal of a sword cutting deep to the bone.

He opened his mouth but thought more wisely not to meet her threat with a rebuttal, simply nodding his head in understanding. Disgustedly, she waved her hand, dismissing him from her presence. After he had left, the tall surgeon leaned on the conference table, hanging her head in disbelief.

The petite blonde nurse had kept a cautious watch of her friend through the large glass panels that lined the hallway, allowing her a view of the conference room. She could see the tension on the surgeon’s face and in the movements of her body as she addressed the medical student. She waited until the confrontation was over before getting her patient underway to his final destination for the remainder of the night.

***************

Danni arrived back to the trauma room to see Rosie restocking the supplies that were greatly depleted from the overabundance of trauma patients. She put the stretcher in place and readied it with fresh linen. By the time she had replaced the heart monitor batteries with new ones, the trauma pager was again crying for attention.

"Trauma page, trauma page. Twenty-five year old female assaulted with a brick. Severe facial damage. The patient has an unsecured airway at this time. ETA four minutes via helicopter. This is a Level One trauma page."

The two nurses flew out of the room, grabbing lead aprons and securing them quickly to their bodies. It was as though the two were in a race, as each moved efficiently to dress in the trauma gowns and masks. The overhead page now was breaking their concentration. "The Flight Crew is requesting a Physician on the helipad for intubation."

Danni grabbed a set of gloves and made for the door leading to the helipad. Converging on the door from the opposite end of the hall was the E.R. Attending for the evening, Dr. Potter, with her coat tails trailing behind her. Marianne, the Aide, had met them at the door with the bright orange intubation supply bag that they would need. Without hesitation, the door slid open and the trio stood outside, watching the helicopter gently touch down on the ground. Crouched over and shielding their eyes from the dust and debris that the propeller blades kicked up, they made their way to the aircraft. The long, red hair of the physician whipped wildly about her head as the crew door opened to the ship. Battling to keep the hair out of her face, Dr. Potter quickly climbed onboard.

The blood-soaked, swollen face of the women was barely recognizable as that of a human. The nurse and aide worked hastily to assemble the necessary equipment out of the bag. Jamie positioned herself as she pulled on a pair of gloves. She held out her hand in anticipation of the laryngoscope and the endotracheal tube. The blade on the handle was snapped into place producing a bright white ray of light to guide her once inside of the patient’s mouth. The welled-up pool of blood visualized inside of the oral cavity was making it impossible to place the tube.

"Give me some suction," the physician yelled above the noise of the slowing overhead blades. The flight medic immediately complied, evacuating the bright red liquid.

Knowing that time would be short before the build-up would occur again, Dr. Potter acted with confidence as she positioned the tube into the woman’s trachea and inflated the cuff at the end of it, securing the patient’s lungs from further liquid impingement. The flight medic attached the ambu bag to the end of the tube, enabling the patient to be oxygenated with artificial breaths. Danni offered the physician her stethoscope to assure the proper placement of the tube inside of the patient’s trachea. Jamie listened intently for the sound of air rushing in and out of the patient’s lungs. Checking both sides of her chest, the physician gave a thumbs-up sign and the tube was secured in place.

Marianne hastily repacked the equipment into the orange bag and found herself breathing a little bit easier now. She was relieved that the patient was successfully intubated but she was even more ecstatic that the blades of the helicopter’s propeller were slowing down to a stop. The whirling "blades of death", as she thought of them, had always scared her from the first day of the flight safety class. She loved the emergency medical setting but she didn’t want to lose her head over it either.

The physician climbed out of the crew area. She was concerned about the patient and the possible long-term effects the difficult intubation could have further down the road in the patient’s recovery. She handed the stethoscope back to Danni as they made their way to the rear of the helicopter to assist with the unloading of the patient. The pilot had already opened the doors and begun the removal of the stretcher onto the hospital gurney, which the security people had standing by. Dr. Potter quickly fell into the position at the head of the patient and accepted the ambu bag as it was handed out to her. Falling in step as the flight crew made their way to the trauma doors with their precious cargo, Danni offered up a silent prayer on the injured woman’s behalf.

Inside, the team of trauma personnel awaited the arrival of the patient, each going over the duties of their positions and praying that they would be able to do everything right. It was evident to them that the night was going to be a long hard battle of conscious effort if the traumas continued to come in the way they had all day long.

Once again, the blaring of the overhead speakers broke the silence of the emergency room. "Trauma’s in the department, Trauma’s in the department."

The Trauma Fellow rolled her head from shoulder to shoulder, trying her best to loosen the tense muscles of her neck and upper back. "Okay, people, let’s just do our jobs and sooner or later this night will be over." Her gaze passed from one to the next around the roomful of people. As if on cue, she turned and looked at the entrance to the trauma room just as the assembly of Flight Crew and E.R. staff came into sight. An arched eyebrow appeared on her face at the sight of the unruly red hair of Dr. Potter.

Looking up from her position at the patient’s head, their eyes met in a moment of silent communication, transmitting the concern that Jamie had for the patient she was administering to. As fast as the gaze had locked with the surgeon, it was now gone, as the Flight Crew turned the stretcher to advance into the trauma room headfirst.

The well-rehearsed ease with which the patient was transferred onto the trauma room gurney was not lost on the unsuspecting eyes of the social worker, which waited patiently outside of the room in the hall. It would be her job to try to find the family or a friend of the battered woman. Alex sighed as she thought about the pain and suffering that the patient would go through to recover from the assault. Absent-mindedly she shook her head at the sight of the intubated woman as her clothing was efficiently removed to allow the trauma team to examine her body for any further injuries.

Alex quietly accepted the remnants of discarded clothing and began rummaging through them with her gloved hands in search of any form of identification. The only clue to the woman’s identity was the small nametag that simply read, ‘Sunshine’. The social worker closed her eyes and sighed in disappointment, then turned to find the members of the Flight Crew.

"Do any of you know her name?" Alex prayed that they could help her find a starting ground for the search into the woman’s relatives or friends.

They looked at each other and slowly shrugged their shoulders, almost in unison. "All we can tell you is that she was found next to a building in a small alley in Washington County. We picked her up at an "LZ" a couple of blocks away. Sorry, but there was nobody that recognized her and we didn’t find a purse either." The Flight Medic hung his head slightly, "They were questioning whether it was a simple assault or a possible rape at the scene."

The social worker’s eyes opened wide at this last revelation. "Thanks for you help," she hastily returned and propelled her body back toward the trauma room. "Dr. Trivoli…Dr.Trivoli!" She gasped for a breath as she waited for the surgeon to look her way. In a low voice that was professionally driven, Alex stated, "There is a question of rape at the scene."

The tall surgeon closed her eyes momentarily, in self-condemnation. ‘Damn, I should have thought of that possibility!’ Regrouping her thoughts, Garrett began firing off orders. "Can you put each article of clothing in a separate bag?" The social worker nodded in agreement. "Thanks, Alex." The surgeon turned to the right getting the attention of the nurses, "Rosie, Danni, we’ll need to bag her hands for possible evidence. Mom, we’ll need a rape kit and camera."

"Gotcha one already coming," Karen replied.

"Dr. Potter, did you suction her mouth before you intubated?" The surgeon was looking steely-eyed at the E.R. Attending.

"Why…yes, there was too much blood and fluids to see the cords." The look of realization flashed across her face. "It could have contained possible evidence," Jamie rubbed her forehead in thought. "I’d better get the Flight Crew to retrieve it from the helicopter and label it." She left to find the Flight Medic who had handled the task of suctioning for her.

Garrett’s attention now turned back to the exposed body before her. The skilled eyes of the observant surgeon slowly studied the woman’s body, noting any small scrapes, lacerations, or signs of discoloration that she could find. Burning into her memory anything that could possibly be a sign of force, she verbalized what she saw for the videotape that recorded the events in the trauma room. The upper torso appeared to be pristine until she gently raised the woman’s voluptuous left breast to see all aspects of it.

"Shine that light over here." The surgeon motioned with her head to the lateral aspect of the body. Rosie quickly reached up and positioned the large operating room light to illuminate the area. Moving closer to get a better look, Garrett began to describe what she saw. "There appears to be a faint purple discoloration in the shape of a semi-circle…no, make that two semi-circles opening to each other. I get the impression of a possible human bite mark with no visible opening in the skin." Out of the corner of her eye she could see the medical student fussing with his gloves as he began to go toward the patient’s upper thigh. "Everybody freeze right where you are!" Her low, throaty growl was ominous. She straightened to her full height as she turned to stare directly at the medical student, "And what are you about to do?" Her eyes were like a swirling blue ocean readying to unleash a raging storm at the thought of a man invading this patient’s private area once more. "Answer me!" The anger in her voice was evident as the people around the medical student now edged away from him, trying as they might not to evoke her rage on them also.

His eyes grew big, as he became aware of the attention he had drawn to himself once again. He had pissed her off but good this time. He tried to swallow, but he was so scared that his mouth could produce no saliva. He looked down at his hands, then back up to the surgeon. "I…I …was just going to put in the …the Foley Catheter," he stuttered meekly. Then he defended his action, "It’s my job."

"Get out of my eyesight! I want you to think about what you were about to do!" Her voice was cold and edged with disgust. Her steely-eyed gaze followed him as he slowly retreated out of the trauma room. Once out in the hallway, he snapped off his gloves and reached for the mask covering his face, ripping it off in anger. Then, grabbing the gown with both hands at his chest, tore it from his body, and cast it to the floor as he strode down the hall, away from the menacing surgeon.

"Any more bright ideas here?" Garrett looked around the room at the shocked team.

"Rape kit is here, Dr. Trivoli," Karen’s soft-spoken words seemed to put an end to the tense situation. She handed the package to Danni.

The surgeon paused to review the electronic monitoring devices showing the patient’s vital signs. The woman was holding her own. "Karen, call CT Scan and see how long before we can get in. We’ll need a head and abdomen scan." She let out a breath as she tried to calm herself.

"Already did. It will be another 20 minutes before there is an open scanner."

Garrett nodded her head, "Danni, set up the Rape Kit." She stripped the gloves from her hands, and walked over to the waste receptacle for hazardous materials by the entrance where she disposed of them. Reaching for the curtain that shielded the trauma room from the rest of the E.R., she bowed slightly, showing the way out, "Now, if you will excuse us…." The team of medical people filed out into the hallway, not wanting to see a replay of the surgeon’s wrath.

The last one in line was the intern who paused and questioned the dismissal. "How are we supposed to learn, this way?" He motioned to the group standing in the hall.

The surgeon’s eyebrow raised in warning, "By reviewing the tape at Trauma Conference," her voice barely above a whisper. She looked down on the smaller stature of the man, "Think about how you would feel if this were your mother, daughter, or significant other. Hmmm?"

His eyes registered the terror of the thought as he looked back to the patient lying on the gurney, then, nodding to the surgeon, he joined the group in the hall.

The trio of nurses and the surgeon proceeded to take samples from the various orifices of the patient’s body, making sure to label them appropriately. Each one was silently standing vigil to the serious nature of their job. The act of the rape alone was degrading and demoralizing to a woman, but now, to have to emphasize each area of possible contact or penetration for clinical inspection and sampling could be just as traumatic. The surgeon kept a professional demeanor in her voice as she stated her findings for the videotape to record.

The entire time Danni spoke softly into the injured woman’s ear, advising her of what they were doing and soothing her of any fears of a repeated attack. It seemed to be working, as the monitors showing the vital signs never wavered from the her normal with each new probing of her exposed body. She watched intently at the actions of her friends. She could see the tired and drawn look in the surgeon’s face.

The last intrusion into the patient’s privacy was the combing of any body hair for stray pieces of evidence. The surgeon carefully ran the comb over the sensitive body parts, gathering any loose strands of hair or fibers into the plastic bags that Rosie held open. The nurse sealed the bag and marked it with the site of the collection. Having completed the examination and evidence gathering, Garrett finished the trauma protocol by placing a urinary catheter and probing the patient’s rectum with her gloved and lubricated digit for any signs of internal bowel trauma and bleeding.

"Hemoccult negative," she reported for the record as she disposed of the soiled gloves and testing kit. She turned to see Rosie unfolding a fresh, warmed blanket over the patient’s body as the sound of the respirator kept a steady rhythm in the background. The curtain had been opened and the exiled trauma team now ventured into the room. The touch on her arm caught her attention, turning to see the petite nurse standing next to her.

"Don’t you think you were a little rough on that medical student?" She wrinkled her nose and looked up into the blue pools of the surgeon’s eyes. "He was only doing what he thought you wanted him to do..." the nurse was trying to smooth over the earlier confrontation, "…after all, it’s not like he fell asleep again."

All eyes were on the pair, watching for the tall surgeon’s response. Garrett finished removing her mask and gown, letting the full impact of Danni’s speech sink in. Graciously looking around the room at the many shocked faces staring back at her in awe, the surgeon smiled politely. "Ah…Danni, could I see you in the conference room, please?" Her voice was sickeningly sweet, as the smile never left her face. "Rosie, can you keep an eye on the patient?" Garrett looked over to Rosie enlisting her approval.

"Yeah, go ahead. I got you covered here." The nurse made herself busy, preparing the patient for the upcoming CT Scan.

"Thank you." The surgeon started out of the trauma room into the hall, only to stop suddenly and lean back into the room, "You know where I’ll be if you need me for anything. This should really only take a minute or two." Turning briskly, her determined stride carried her into the conference room.

The petite nurse stood, looking dumfounded. She quickly gazed from Karen to Rosie, as if looking for some kind of answer to Garrett’s behavior. Each one shrugged at the other as their eyes made contact, not knowing what to expect from the surgeon. ‘Why do I feel like I’m a sheep being lead to the slaughter?’ Taking a deep breath, Danni walked into the conference room as she quietly exhaled, trying as she might to settle her nerves.

The surgeon stood facing the large audio-visual cart at the opposite end of the room, her face, a stoic mask, as she looked blankly out of one of the windows that lined the hallway. Sensing that the young nurse had stepped into the room, the surgeon turned just slightly, "Come in. Oh, and close the door will you?" The nurse obliged and moved further into the room, her eyes never leaving the tall woman’s figure.

Garrett didn’t like what she was going to have to do, but she could not afford a breach in command, not in front of the team. She sniffed as she thought of how military her thoughts were. ‘By the gods, I guess some of the Navy actually rubbed off on me over the last three years.’ She swept her tongue over the front of her teeth as she readied herself, her eyes closing momentarily at the thought of disciplining a friend.

"Danni," she started then turned to face the nurse. "What were you doing in there just now?" Her face remained a stoic mask as she waited for an answer.

The petite nurse looked into the face of the woman in front of her. "I…I just thought that maybe…" she now stared at the floor, "…maybe you were a little tired and didn’t realize how the medical student felt."

"No, what you don’t realize is you tried to use our friendship in a professional setting." Garrett sighed, and positioned herself on the opposite side of the conference table. "I can’t have that outside bond invade and undermine my chain of command."

Danni looked at her friend in a different light as she locked on to the steely gaze coming at her.

Each time, the surgeon emphasized her involvement and responsibility by stressing the singular pronoun louder than the last one. "I’m dealing with a patient’s life in that room and my words have to stand as the bottom line. Not only does that one single patient rely on me to make the correct decisions now, but every patient that any member of that team treats in a latter trauma setting depends on me, and what I was able to teach them in there today."

Her crystal orbs had not left the shimmering green eyes of the nurse. Garrett leaned over the table with both her tightly fisted hands resting on it. The hard lines of her face gave her stare even more intensity to the words that she spoke. "If you were in the Navy, I’d be having you up on charges of insubordination. Damn it! I’d have to do it, too! You questioned my authority in front of my team."

At first Danni had tried to make excuses for the actions of her friend, but with each new acclamation of total responsibility, the nurse became more defensive with both her posture and thinking. This was not the friend and roommate that she knew, but rather some egotistical tyrant that had descended from some lofty throne to lay claim to her territory. ‘How dare she think that without her, we would not be able to treat this patient or the ones to follow. By the gods, how does she think we took care of the patients before she came here?’

Garrett sighed heavily. "Do you think I like the idea of singling out that medical student for his actions? Someone has to show them what the reality of this profession is. If they can’t handle the job now, then they need to think about getting out before they waste their lives and a lot of everyone else’s time trying to teach them. And let’s not forget about the patients and the lives that they could really screw-up now can we? It’s easier to get a bad seed out now, than to wait until they become a licensed physician. I can’t see him going into debt, trying to be something that he was never cut out to be."

By now the young nurse had crossed her arms over her chest and begun tapping her foot nervously, waiting for the verbal rampage to end. She bit the inside of her lip so as not to blurt out a rebuttal, until the surgeon had ended her litany of self-exoneration for her earlier actions.

Momentarily, Danni’s gaze had been distracted by the figure of Dr. Potter as she walked down the hall past the window behind Garrett. It had given her enough pause to think of her co-workers over the years and of all the people who had been seen as patients through the trauma suite. She was more determined than ever to let this newcomer know just how she thought. Her green eyes turned into a churning sea of emotions as she narrowed her gaze into the surgeon’s blue pools.

Not being one to yell and scream in anger, Danni initiated her rebuttal in a calm, orderly fashion. Letting her hands go down to her sides, the young nurse asked, "Can you spell the word ‘trauma’ for me?"

This had completely taken the surgeon off her guard. "What?" Her eyes expressing a puzzled look as she regarded the nurse.

The petite woman smiled coyly at her adversary; "I asked how you spell the word ‘trauma’." She paused waiting to hear the answer.

"What does that have to do with…"

"No, I want to see if you spell it the same way as we do. Please, humor me."

The tall woman grimaced, rolling her eyes and curtly replied, "T-R-A-U-M-A. But I don’t see…."

"HMMM, just as I thought." The nurse crossed her abdomen with one arm as she allowed her chin to rest in a thoughtful pose with the other arm. "You know how to spell the word, but you really don’t see what it’s all about, now, do you?" Her pose once again relaxed at the startled look on the surgeon’s face.

"What do you mean by that? I know all about…." The surgeon’s gaze narrowed as her eyes took on an ice-like appearance.

"NO! You think you know all about trauma, but let me tell you what trauma really means." The nurse placed her hands on her hips in a defiant manner. "Let me spell the word out for you in the manner that we understand it here." Her right hand began ticking off the letters as she said them. "T stands for Teamwork in a tense setting. R stands for Respect of not only the patient’s life and privacy, but also that of the staff you’re teamed with. A takes into consideration the feeling of Achievement in the patient’s physical and emotional outcome. U reminds us of our need to be in Unison when dealing with the matters at hand. M brings to mind that the Mortality of the patient is as fragile as our own." Her right hand being completely used she brought her left one up extending her thumb. "And finally A leads us to Anticipate the needs of the family in response to the patient’s injured state." The young woman’s face tightened into a hard and calculating stare. She had gradually made her way closer to the table as she had spelled out the list of letters in the word.

"There doesn’t seem to be any ‘I’ in the word trauma when you think of it in that respect, hmmm, is there?" Before she knew it, the nurse was leaning on the table giving the appearance of a mirror image of Garrett’s aggressive stance.

The face-off arrived much to the surgeon’s surprise. She had never considered that the young woman would be so adamant about the surgeon’s possessive and controlling nature. It was something that had always come so naturally to her that she had never given it very much thought. Besides, everyone had always assumed that she would take charge just by her physical appearance alone. ‘What is it about this slip of a girl that makes her think she can stand up to me?’ She fought hard to control her raging anger at her friend. ‘No. Friendship had no place in this argument,’ she thought, ‘this is totally on a professional level.’ The ice blue of her eyes turned even colder as she smashed her fist against the table. "Damn it, Danni. You’re going to make me do this, aren’t you?"

The nurse caught the motion of the surgeon’s arm as it brought all the force that it could muster into the downward slam, impacting the table. She never flinched at the sound or the vibrations that emanated throughout the piece of furniture advancing up into her hands. She had made her stand. There would be no backing down now. She thought of how her mother had always warned her when she was growing up that her stubbornness, in the defense of others, would be her downfall.

"Do what you have to…You will anyway." The spitfire of a nurse spat back at the menacing figure before her, the turmoil of emotions building deep within her small frame.

Garrett’s voice lowered an octave and the rumble of it over her lips caused the hair to raise on the young woman’s neck. "You’re out of my traumas starting now!" She inched even closer to the blonde’s face with her own. "I don’t care if you go home, go to lunch, or just hang out for the rest of your shift." She audibly filled her lungs with air. "I…don’t…want…to… see…you," saying each word singularly for emphasis, "in my trauma rooms for the rest of the night." She paused. "Do you…" she drew the word out,

"understand me?"

The electricity of the moment charged the air around the pair, as they faced nose to nose across the table. The hair on their arms was standing on end as if they had been in close proximity to a lightning strike. They were in their own microcosm, unaware of the stunned expressions on the faces of the people that lined the hall outside of the trauma room, staring in at them through the window.

The Charge Nurse made the sign of the cross on her body, praying that one of her pseudo-daughters would not be the next trauma as she headed toward the conference room’s closed door. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, especially from her non-confrontational friend.

As if to add further emphasis to her proclamation, the raven-haired woman gritted her teeth showing the stark whiteness of them saying, "I call the shots here, not the nurses."

Seeing that they had reached a standoff, Danni acquiesced, "Fine!" Then turned with the speed of a tornado and stormed out of the now opened conference room door.

Karen stepped back releasing the doorknob, her mouth agape. She watched as the blonde spitfire brushed past her and headed down the hall, cutting a wide path from all that she passed by.

Without stopping or slowing down, the young nurse called back, "I’ll be going to lunch now, Mom." The tasseled blonde locks of hair moved with the shaking of her head. She had left, walked right out of the area before she would regret anything she may do. She needed time to think and definitely to cool down her hot temper. It didn’t manifest itself often, but when it did…well, she’d rather not think about that. She may be small but her mind could hold its own against the likes of anyone ten times her size, whether that was stature or ego.

Garrett knew that the older nurse was quietly studying her solemn figure, which still occupied the room. The drain of energy from the surgeon’s spent emotions was evident as she hung her head in disbelief at what had just transpired between her and the person she had thought of as a friend. ‘If only she hadn’t pushed me so hard.’ The surgeon closed her eyes and shook her head; ‘It wouldn’t have come to this.’ The woman brought her eyes up to see Karen standing in the doorway. "Yes?" she inquired distractedly.

"They’re ready for your patient in CT Scan now," she struggled to keep her voice calm.

Garrett nodded her head, "Tell Rosie that she’s now Trauma One for the rest of the night. Oh, …and Mom," she paused to look directly at the Charge Nurse. "You’re going to have to find someone else to take up the Trauma Two position."

"Okay," the nurse speculated for a moment. "Dr. Trivoli," the older nurse deliberated about offering help, but then thought better of it as she saw the distant look in the surgeon’s eye. "We’ll take the patient down to CT, you can meet up with us there."

The tall woman raised her hand in a motion of her approval, and then stood with her eyes closed, just trying to reign in her feelings toward the emotional outburst that she had just been a part of. She knew that the sleep-deprived state she was in had helped to set her on edge. Her furry had rapidly turned into a full-fledged, "batten down your hatches" storm front. Now, she would just have to ride out the swell of the waves that were sure to be gathering around her. It would be imperative for her to keep on course, especially in the state she was in. "By the gods, I hate emotions!" She mused, ‘I never felt like this when I didn’t let anyone get close to me.’ Then she sighed.

The Charge Nurse looked down at her wrist, noticing the time, she smiled in recognition as she jotted down 2210 in the patient’s chart as the time of departure for the scanner. It was still the same day as when she and Danni had watched the magnificent red hues in the morning sky. ‘I guess neither one heeded the warning,’ she mused, as if in answer to the earlier question.

The small office reverberated with the sounds of muffled snores as the dim light, afforded by the screen saver, cast a dancing rainbow of colors from the rippling bezel pattern that illuminated the monitor. Next to the computer terminal the slumped-over form lay sprawled across the metal desktop, the head nestled into the long muscular arm folded around it as if it were a cradle, its face covered by cascading lengths of raven hair. It certainly was not the most comfortable of places to choose to sleep, but when the realms of Morpheus did finally entreat the weary surgeon, she could barely refuse. The depleted body needed to rest and heal the wounds that the previous weeks of unsatisfying sleep had languished on her. It didn’t matter where or how, just that sleep was the ultimate goal. She hadn’t fought it when it came but instead gave into it willingly letting her mind embrace it, allowing it to soothe her tortured soul.

The subdued noises coming from the beeper that rested on the waist of her scrub pants was all that was needed to cause a half-lidded eye to stir. The covering slowly rising with each reminding tone until the entire eyelid had retreated from sight. It took several minutes, but gradually the blurred perception seen out of the lone eye began to clear, bringing her vision and mind into focus. She hesitantly pushed her body off of the desk, allowing the muscles in her shoulders and back time to work out any kinks found along the way. ‘Jeez, I feel like I’ve done battle with an equally matched opponent.’ Her mind flashed with thoughts of Danni standing her down across the conference table. Once sitting fully erect, she stretched her long arms out to the sides. ‘Well, I guess that’s one friend you can say you lost before you knew them. I can’t believe that I can be so bull-headed.’ As if to grasp something that was passing her by, she contracted her fingers, then hands and arms crossing her chest trying to hold on to what had been a moment ago evading her. ‘You’re just never going to learn are you, Garrett. Empty as usual.’

"BEEP!" There it was again only louder this time. The surgeon took the pager off her waistband and pressed the button revealing the numeric message. She breathed a sigh of relief, seeing the symbol for the alarm across the tiny display screen. ‘Well, at least its not another trauma,’ she thought to herself. ‘Rounds in half an hour with the new team and then just two O.R. cases with Dr. McMurray,’ she thought.

She looked around at the contents of the small room to gently jog her mind. This was not a room that she cared to hang out in, the walls always feeling as though they were closing in on her. Scrubbing her face with her hands, Garrett thought about the previous day’s events and how they had played out. The hours after midnight had finally ended the onslaught of traumas and she had stolen away to her office to catch up on some paperwork. She chuckled at the thought. ‘Paperwork, huh!’ She laughed, ‘It’s all computerized now.’ "Hmmm…Let’s see what I was working on," she spoke aloud trying to jar her memory.

Long sinewy fingers caressed the mouse moving it slightly. The monitor screen quickly changed from the roaming bezel pattern to one of letters and words. To her surprise it was E-mail! Most of the correspondence she received electronically was work related, but this one was different. Her eyes quickly read over the lines of text, as a smile began to tug at the corners of her lips. It read:

Danni

She contemplated how nice it would be to spend some much needed time relaxing with her friend. Then, with a sudden feeling of urgency, the surgeon looked desperately to the date and time that the E-mail was sent. Seeing that it had been dated yesterday before her friend had come on shift, the tall woman cursed under her breath. "Son of a…" she let her head hang as the instant replay of the prior evening was rapidly viewed in her mind. She closed her eyelids tightly and shook her head, but the images would not stop. Her fingers nervously raked through her raven hair. Finally resigning herself to the inevitable, she sighed. "What were you thinking?" She chastised herself. "Hmmpf! Maybe that’s the problem, you weren’t thinking."

Her mind gave a fleeting tally of all of the wonderful moments that she had encountered in the presence of the small blonde. In less than four months, there were more than she could count using both hands. This surprised her, considering that during the last twenty years of her life she could barely come up with five or six memorable times shared with another person, and even all of those were not shared with the same person. She thought about the fact that for the first time in her adult life she let someone get close enough to her to have finally made a friend, only now to have possibly thrown it all away with one tyrannical outburst.

Her thoughts turned to her young companion and wondered if Danni would be able to discern the professional reprimand, not taking it personally to heart. The surgeon bit down on her lip as she thought about the force with which she had repelled the young nurse, banning her from trauma rooms for the rest of the night. It had to be the lack of sleep that had caused her to act the way she did. ‘The best Trauma Nurse I’ve ever met and I throw her out of my traumas.’ She shook her head in disbelief. ‘I must not have been thinking clearly at all.’

She replayed the scene of confrontation with Danni, cringing as she remembered her words. The surgeon sank back into her chair, her shoulders slumping in defeat. ‘Well, that’s what you get for letting someone get close to you.’ She taunted herself even more, ‘Hurts, doesn’t it?’ She closed her eyes as she remembered the anger and frustration that had been written all over the nurse’s face when she locked into that nose to nose standoff. Garrett wasn’t sure what had upset her more last night, the fact that she was snapping out at every little thing because of her lack of sleep, or that Danni knew more about her than the surgeon knew herself. ‘Danni was right. I did lash out at him unmercifully.’ The corner of Garrett’s mouth twitched into a smirk when she thought of how much courage her non-confrontational friend had shown. "I like that," she mindlessly said aloud.

"Like what?" The accented voice came from the direction of the open door, an almost inaudible knock was heard as he stuck his head into the room.

Startled at the sound of another voice, the surgeon’s eyes opened wide as she looked up from the screen that she had been absently staring at, while she was deep in thought. "I…I…" she stuttered. "I like the sight of my relief," she said, trying to quickly reorganize her thoughts, grasping at the first thing to come to her head. "You just startled me, that’s all."

She glanced at her watch. It was 0545 and as always, Dr. Rene Chabot was in early, ready to begin a new day. "I guess I lost track of the time."

The thin man looked cautiously around the tiny speck of an office that the three Trauma Fellows shared. "I’m not disturbing anything, am I?" His face took on a hopeful look that he had interrupted a private moment. He often worried about the all too serious surgeon, and had even casually dropped hints about her finding someone to share her life with. He had always been a good judge of character, that was why Rene was able to see the gentle, loving heart of the woman most people steered clear of.

"Rene, you expect too much," she shook her head at his implied thought. "I’m a Trauma Surgeon. Nobody wants to put up with that kind of lifestyle, not even for a little while."

"Ah, but you forget, I’m the one with newborn twins and a loving wife at home. Things like that don’t happen overnight. Eh?" A sly smile crossed his lips, "So, you see, it’s not impossible. You just have to open yourself up to the thought. I’m sure that there is at least one someone out there that would enjoy the chance to know you and share a life with you. Or are you so terrible that no one would have you? I think not." He answered his own question.

"You’re never going to give up, are you?" Garrett’s hand moved the mouse into position letting the cursor find its mark and closed the window of the

E-mail from sight, not wanting to give the man any more ammunition to use. ‘Besides,‘ she thought, ‘I probably lost that thread of friendship with Danni after last night.’

Shaking his head he smiled saying, "I have the rest of the year to still work on it. You will see, one day it will happen. Then you will think back on ol’ Rene and smile." He winked at her as he held out his hand for the pager sitting on the desk.

The woman smiled at his conviction to her happiness. "Why is it that all happily married people think about is getting all of the unattached people around them paired up?" She handed him the pager. "If I didn’t know better, Dr. Chabot, I would guess that you have a little Jewish Yenta in you," she teased him knowing all too well of his French-Canadian ancestry.

Rene cocked his head to one side, "If it will help to go visit a Synagogue, or wear a prayer shawl, then perhaps…"

Garrett held up her hands in quiet protest. "All right, enough." She chuckled at the thought of her colleague wearing a prayer shawl just to ensure her happiness. "I get the idea. I promise to leave myself open to the thought, how’s that? Okay?"

He looked deep into her eyes, seeing the crystal blue pools reflect the melancholy of her soul. He wondered what troubles had befallen her in the past to render such a deep hurt. He thought to ask her, but realized that he had probably pushed her far enough for one day. Nodding in acceptance of her offer, "For now, Garrett, but one day you will see that someone will step out from behind you and capture your heart. It happened to me," he said proudly. "But let’s get down to business. You look worse than me with two babies to take care of during the night." He had only now noticed her haggard appearance. "You look like you haven’t gotten more than a couple of hours sleep in the last week or so," he teased her.

She looked at the man who felt comfortable with her, knowing that she probably looked worse than what he was letting on to. ‘I have to remember to put some make-up on before meeting up with McMurray.’ She made a mental note, not wanting the Chief of Trauma Surgery to think her unable to withstand the long, grueling hours that the job dictated. She had fought long and hard for this chance to accomplish her life’s goal, and she wasn’t about to let anybody think that she wasn’t capable of doing the job, whatever it took.

"Come on, Rene, I’ll tell you all about the patients while we make our rounds." She pushed herself away from the desk and got up heading for the door. "After you," she motioned with her hand toward the open door behind him. He nodded and turned, advancing into the hall from the tiny room.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Karen watched as the petite nurse finished stocking the last of the specialty carts that were used by the different disciplines of medicine that frequented their area. She wondered where the nurse was getting all the energy. Not only had she busied herself with most of the aide’s duties, but she had also volunteered to take every transport from the regular emergency room to the floors during the remainder of the night. Each time, making sure not to pass anywhere near the trauma rooms if she thought that the raven-haired surgeon would be in attendance. It was almost like she needed to be working off her pent-up emotions.

Finding nothing more to use her energy on, she took a seat next to the charge nurse. "So, Mom, anything else that I can do?" The blonde tried to hide her emotions from the older nurse.

Playing along with the game, Karen feigned a disinterested attitude as she studied the computer screen in front of her. She so wanted to help the young nurse deal with the emotions that plagued her, but knew that if they were not dealt with in the proper manner, she would never get the nurse to bare her soul.

"Mom, did you hear me?" Danni tugged at the Charge Nurse’s sleeve. "Anything," she reiterated, "just tell me anything and I’ll do it."

The older nurse smiled to herself, as the opening that she was waiting for had just jumped into her lap. "Anything?"

Without hesitation, the petite nurse nodded her head in mock eagerness, "Yes, anything!"

Karen cleared her throat as she turned toward the impish figure next to her. "You could let me know what that was all about earlier with you and Garrett. I mean, so that if I’m called on the carpet by Nan, I’ll have some idea as to at least what it was about." She watched as Danni’s nose wrinkled up at the realization that she had been tricked.

"I guess you got me there." Her words were slow and thoughtful as she tried to find a way out of this. "I…I…" she tossed her head from side to side, "I guess I thought that she was being too hard on that poor medical student. I realize now that I let my self-righteous pride step into it, when she told me that it was her trauma to run as she saw fit." She shrugged her shoulders. "I just kept thinking that we had always done our best with the traumas, working as a team before she came. I assumed that I knew better and questioned her authority."

Raising a skeptical eyebrow at the young nurse, Karen waited.

"Okay, I was wrong. I flew off the handle and just let my emotions take control. I’m sorry, Mom." She sighed, "I know that it wasn’t very professional of me but…"

"But you were determined to show her just how strong-willed you were. Right?"

"Yeah, you’re right." Her fingers nervously played with the cord on the nearby phone. "Do you think she’ll listen to an apology?"

"I think that depends on what your apology will be for, stepping on her authority or your concern for her as a friend." ‘The way I saw it, you were right in trying to get her to admit that she wasn’t thinking clearly with that medical student.’ The older woman reached over and patted the small hand with her own. "If you believe your disagreement stemmed from something other than a personal nature, then treat it that way." She smiled at the thoughtful expression on Danni’s face. "She’s a professional, I’m sure she will listen to reason."

"I don’t know, Mom. We weren’t exactly on speaking terms when I left that room." The nurse shrugged her shoulders, "Maybe…"

Karen caught sight of the first daylight employees entering the doors to the emergency room. "Maybe," she interrupted, "you need to go home now and sleep on it for a while."

"Thanks Mom, I will." Danni pulled her emotionally drained body up from the chair and started making her way to the locker room, contemplating the thought of sleep. In a passing moment, she prayed that the gods would look after her sleepless friend for the rest of the day until Garrett also, made her way safely home.

*********************

The make-up did little to keep her dulled senses from showing to the Chief of Trauma Services. She blinked repeatedly, trying to keep from falling asleep as she assisted the burly "Ol’ Cutter" as he called himself. It was nearly 1100 and she still had the other O.R. case to assist him with.

"Rough night, Dr. Trivoli?" His speech was mellow, conversing with her as he continued to request instruments from the Scrub Nurse. "Hemostat. Thank you."

"I think we were trying for a record, Sir." She sucked in a mouthful of air trying to stimulate her mind. "Twenty-one in all, and we didn’t lose a single one."

"Suture." He sniffed loudly. "Thank you. Not any patients, but I understand that by midnight, you were down two members of you team. Care to tell me about those?" He looked over his half spectacles at the tall surgeon across from him. "Gauze. Thank you." His eyes shifted back to the opened abdomen that was before him.

She sighed as she considered that the medical student had probably waited for him at the door of his office this morning. ‘That would account for one that he would know about, but how did he find out about Danni? Surely she hadn’t….’

"Dr. Trivoli, if you are trying to figure out how I know about what goes on in my service after hours, I’ll tell you." He continued working on the patient. "After Mr. Keithe came to me this morning, you do know who Mr. Keithe is, don’t you?" He shifted his eyes to catch her nod of affirmation to his question. "I watched the tape from the trauma room. I noticed that after you asked to speak with Nurse Bossard, she never reappeared in the room for the rest of the night. Although I did hear her voice, quite loudly I must admit, state that she was going to lunch."

The tall woman prepared herself, waiting for the ranting and raving to start. Much to her surprise, it didn’t. The "Ol’ Cutter" just kept on course with the operation as they had previously discussed.

"Seems like you know just about everything already, Sir." She held the retractor steady as he finished examining the glistening junction of the small intestine with the larger bowel.

"Count," he demanded, signaling that he was ready to close. "Sometimes those nurses take care of us and our patients more than we care to think about."

Garrett thought about what Dr. McMurray was saying in his unique cryptic fashion. ‘That’s what Danni was trying to do last night…take care of me.’ It startled her to think that someone would be looking out for her.

The high pitched voice of the Circulating Nurse offered, "Sixteen gauze, and three needles."

The Scrub Nurse countered in response, "Correct, sixteen gauze and three needles used. Clear to close Dr. McMurray."

The gruff voice took command once again. "Okay," he winked at Garrett, "Let’s get this operation over with before I grow too old to sew in straight lines anymore, and have to turn it over to you young snips." He chuckled.

Garrett nodded in approval and thought about the interesting lesson that the wise "Ol’ Cutter" had taught her during this all but mundane appendectomy. She had heard him loud and clear, letting his words of wisdom impart upon her. She knew what she needed to do. "Thanks, Dr. McMurray." She looked at the surgeon busy at his work. "I’ve learned a lot from you today."

His eyes glanced up at her, "And the year’s not over yet." He winked and continued on with the suturing. "Wait until we get a really tough case, Dr. Trivoli, then we’ll see how quickly you can learn."

***********************

Her day was finally over. The tall surgeon slid the key into the lock on the office door and opened it. She walked around the desk and sat down in the chair. Gathering her things from her one allotted drawer that each of the Fellows were granted, she thought about the E-mail from Danni.

Looking up at the sound of the soft knocking, her eyes met the flash of blonde hair as it pushed in through the door that had been left ajar. A lopsided grin painted itself on her face as she recognized the features of the nurse that she had just been thinking about. "You’re in early, aren’t you?"

The small blonde wrinkled her nose up, "Yeah, I was hoping to catch you before you left for the day." She motioned to be allowed in, "May I?"

"Oh, excuse me…come on in. Have a seat, Danni." The surgeon was befuddled by her roommate’s appearance at her office.

There was a moment or two of uneasy silence, each of them trying to muster up the courage to address the issue of last night. Their eyes avoided each others gaze by looking all around the small room so as not to settle on the other. Without warning, they both started to speak at the same time.

"I want to…"

"About last night…"

Then both looked at each other as the nervous round of giggling began.

Garrett was the first to regain her composure, "Please, you first." She bowed to the nurse.

Danni held a single index finger up in the air as she drew her giggling to a halt. She thought about how different her roommate seemed now, as opposed to last night. It was almost as if the surgeon was two completely different people. This one was definitely the Garrett that the nurse had looked upon as a friend.

"I want to tell you that I’m sorry for questioning your judgement in front of the team last evening." The nurse held her hand up to stop any rebuttal from her friend. "I was wrong. I should have talked to you in private. I’m sorry for not doing that." She let her hand come down to rest at her side. "I’ll understand if you don’t want me to be on your team."

The azure pools searched the young blonde’s face until they met the quiet green orbs, locking on to them. The words came from her mouth, but the feeling was spoken directly from her heart. "If I had to pick only one Trauma Nurse to work with, Danni, it would be you." The surgeon shifted her gaze, not wanting the nurse to feel uncomfortable. "I guess I fell into the "God Trap" last night."

Squinting, she allowed the wrinkles to play across her nose, "God Trap? I don’t understand."

"In medical school they warned us about "The God Trap", it’s when the doctor feels that the world is revolving around him. That he is the center of all necessary attention." She dropped her head, feeling the guilt of her actions. "My lack of sleep made it easy for me to become confused about who was really the center of attention. It should have been the patient. I’m sorry for rattling my saber so loudly." Looking up into a sea of green, "I’m sorry for everything that I said to you. You didn’t deserve it."

"That’s okay, we both learned from our mistakes."

"Yeah, only I like your version of the word Trauma, more then the one that they taught us."

The blonde raised an eyebrow at this acknowledgement, "How was yours spelled?"

"Well, remember, they were teaching us to be doctors." The tall woman shrugged her shoulders and began, "Tyrannical, Rude, Abrupt, Ubermensch, Meticulous, and Arrogant. That’s what they told us we had to have in order to become a good Trauma Surgeon. Honest!" She quickly crossed her heart, then held her hand up with two fingers crossed.

Seeing the laughter in Danni’s eyes, the surgeon let her smile settle in for good. She marveled at how good it felt to laugh with this person, even if it was just about some silly nonsense phrase. She decided right then and there that it was a feeling that she wanted to have more often.

Garrett was mesmerized as the small slip of a girl let the most beautiful smile come across her face. Her eyes felt as though they were transfixed on that smile for an eternity. Suddenly, the tired surgeon became self-conscious about the reason her friend was smiling. Looking over herself quickly and briefly into the monitor screen to see her own reflection, the surgeon could find nothing out of place. "What…?" Her eyes were searching still for a clue.

"I was just thinking. You’re the best Trauma Surgeon that I know, but you still don’t meet all the designated attributes."

"Huh?" The surgeon felt awkward for the first time in many years. A small amount of color started over the woman’s face as she began to blush.

"It’s just that you’re not rude. I can definitely say that at times you can be tyrannical, abrupt, ubermensch, meticulous, and arrogant, but rude is not one that I’ve seen, at least not just yet."

"Thanks, I think," the surgeon let her eyes roll and ever so slowly let her characteristic lopsided grin show.

Danni closed her eyes and bowed her head in acceptance. "You’re welcome." It was nice to see her friend respond to her in this manner, especially after the words that they had exchanged the night before. She had gone home this morning thinking that all hopes of a friendship with the woman had been thrown right out the window. Now it felt like the bond of their friendship had just grown, tenfold. They had weathered the storm and the outlook ahead was one of clear sailing.

There was a moment of quiet, acceptable peace that both of the women felt comfortable with, their eyes drinking in the other’s warm, silent outpouring of love.

Garrett knew now what it felt like, when she had seen that look so many times on her mother’s face as she watched her children play. It made her a little sad to think that finally, after all these years; she knew just how much her brother and she had been loved.

Not wanting to bring the moment to an end, but realizing that her time was short, Danni hesitantly began to speak. "Did you get my E-mail?"

Shaken out of her thoughts, Garrett cleared her throat. "Yes, I did. I have the entire weekend off so…are you still interested?"

"You better believe I am! Let me plan the weekend, if that’s all right with you, I mean." The young woman waited for approval. "After all, I’m not the one who’s been up and on-call twice this week. Okay?"

"Be my guest," she chuckled. "All that I’m interested in right now is going home and sleeping until tomorrow morning." The surgeon stood up grasped her small duffel bag and daily planner in hand. "Come on, I’ll walk you down to the E.R. on my way out." She tapped her coat pocket in search of her keys and followed the nurse out of the small office.

Seeing her colleague, Dr. Chabot, coming down the hall, she held the door open for him to enter the office. "I’m going home Rene, the office is all yours." She smiled at him politely. "I hope you have a good night."

"Thank you for the kind thought," he tipped his head towards the two women as he passed by and partially entered the open office door. He turned and watched as they made their way down the deserted hall. He studied the relaxed stature of his tall, fellow surgeon and enjoyed the friendly banter that he could hear coming from the pair as they waited for the elevator. A smile slowly crept across his face as his mind thought, ‘Let yourself be open to the thought, my friend, love will find its way in.’ But his whispered words were in his native language, " Ouvre toi a l’idec, mon amie, l’amour trouvera son chemin." He stepped back so as not to be seen watching. "You will see, love always finds a way in," he said under his breath, as he resumed his journey into the office.

*****************

The auburn-haired nurse had just caught up to Karen, as she reached for the door leading into the hospital. "Gee, thanks Mom!" She smiled and walked into the lobby bustling with visitors at this hour.

"Don’t mention it," the older nurse came back with, as she entered the building. Her eyes roamed over the activity of the lobby and stopped dead at the sight of a certain pair coming off of the elevator. "Look!" She tugged at Rosie’s sleeve and once getting her attention, motioned with her chin in the direction of two women. "I hope everything went all right," she whispered.

After watching for a few seconds, she witnessed the close proximity of her two pseudo-daughters. As their steps brought them closer to her, she could hear their gentle banter.

Putting her stern, motherly face on for the occasion, Karen waited only a few seconds before calling out to her fair-haired nurse. "Well, you going to come to work or lollygag with friends all night? Hmmm, young lady?

You’ve got a job to do, you know."

Danni scanned the lobby filled with moving bodies for the source of the familiar voice. Upon seeing Karen and Rosie, both in a crossed-armed glaring stance, the petite nurse could feel the flush rise up her neck and spread across her face. "I should have known it would be you," she aimed her speech at the Charge Nurse.

Garrett altered her course to go in their direction, gently nudging Danni along with her. "Hi, Mom, Rosie!" Her voice sounded playful as she continued. "I’d make her be Trauma One for the rest of the week if I were you, Mom," she winked, "especially for the way she bailed out on us last night." The surgeon coughed as Danni slapped her stomach with the backside of her hand.

"That’s enough out of you, my friend." The blonde countered. "It’s time for all good surgeons to go home and get some sleep." Her tone turned full of concern. "Garrett, be careful and call me when you get in, okay?"

"What…" The surgeon looked at the trio of concerned faces staring back at her. "What am I…five or something?" Seeing that she was outnumbered, she tipped her head from side to side, "Oh, all right." She kicked her foot at an imaginary stone, "but I don’t have to like it." She looked at them again and found that each one in their own manner was shooing her towards the door and home. "Okay, I get the picture. See you guys in the morning."

The nurses stood there daring her to head anywhere but home.

"And we’ll be timing you. We know where you live." Rosie voiced as the surgeon turned to walk away. Garrett nodded in assent and raised her free hand to wave weakly, as she walked out through the door and into the chilly fall air.

When the tall surgeon was no longer in sight, the sound of laughter filled the air around the trio of friends.

"I guess she accepted your apology," the older nurse inquired, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Well, we accepted each others’ and decided to learn from our mistakes." She smiled and looked back to where she had last seen her tall friend. "It feels good not being at odds with her." She turned and looked at Karen.

"Thanks, Mom, for your advice."

The Charge Nurse winked at Danni. "Any time, little one." Glancing at the huge clock in the lobby, she attempted to hurry them along. "We’d better get moving or I’m going to have to have a talk with all three of us for being late." With that thought in mind, the three women scurried into the locker room.

*****************

The week passed by rather quickly with each of the roommates anticipating the relaxing weekend awaiting them. Garrett had no idea of what to expect from her friend, but was sure that it would be delightful for them both. After all, Danni had grown up around this part of the country and probably knew some very interesting and picturesque places. The tall surgeon found herself willing to follow her friend just about anywhere, especially if it didn’t have beepers or a paging system involved. She definitely knew that she needed a break from her routine and hoped that this weekend would help her regain control of her life.

It was almost a month now since that night when the past had come rushing headlong back at her. The taunting dreams that crept into her mind while she slept would never let her go on with her life. They always reminded her of her inability to hold on to anyone that she cared for. For the longest time, she had given up and chose not to allow her heart or hopes to be placed on any one person in particular. That had seemed to work for the most part, but proved to take its toll, as the surgeon walled off the exposures of her heart. It had made her a better surgeon, being so independent of others and able to stand on her own two feet when those around her seemed to be floundering. But the skills that she lacked because of it would take a long time to nurture.

She had thought enough about her past. It was time to live in the present and dream of the future instead. With that thought in her mind, Garrett threw back the covers and greeted the new day. The chill of the early morning air inside of the house exhilarated her as she made her way around her room, taking the time to cover her naked form with her long silk robe as she headed toward the bathroom.

The small blonde was already busy in the kitchen getting things ready for the day that she had planned. By the time she was done packing the cooler with the necessary supplies, the tall surgeon was standing in the doorway dressed and ready to go. Looking up from her position seated on top of the large cooler, the nurse first noticed that she was being watched. "Hey! You been standing there long?"

"Just long enough to see you sit on the lid to get it to close." She shook her head in disbelief. "I hope that is not just for lunch." She teased the small woman, knowing her ravenous appetite.

"Nope, it’s our food for the weekend, two lunches, one dinner and one breakfast." She fastened the latch on the cooler to keep it closed.

"I take it we are spending the weekend somewhere that food is not easily obtained," she questioned.

The blonde woman lifted her head from her task and winked at her friend. "You’re just going to have to come along for the ride to find out, now aren’t you?" A sly smile shone across her face. She stepped back and looked at the cooler. "Hey, Gar…do you think we could take your Blazer? I don’t think this is going to fit in my car."

"Sure, but you are going to direct me, aren’t you?" She teased. "Do I need to take anything with me? Clothes, toiletries, anything in particular?"

Danni stood beaming, "Nope, already taken care of. I hope you don’t mind, but I packed your stuff yesterday when you were at work."

One dark eyebrow of the raven-haired woman rose at this tidbit of information. "So let me get this straight. I’m driving my Blazer to some place I don’t know, taking enough food to feed a small army, wearing outfits that you have chosen for me, leaving myself at your mercy for an entertaining weekend, and that’s suppose to help me to relax. Right?"

Nodding her head up and down emphatically, "Yep, you got it."

Garrett shrugged her shoulders. Putting her complete trust in the younger woman, she stated, "Sounds like a plan to me."

******************

Garrett felt like she was on shore leave, setting her sights for new and foreign lands as she made her way up the twisted road. The scenery was beautiful and intrigued her just as much as any port that she had seen during her time in the Navy. The only thing that was different was that, for the first time in her adult life, she was sharing the ride and looking forward to sharing the entire weekend of living and laughing with someone that she could call "friend." It was funny now, but the word no longer brought a dreaded fear to her. Instead, it felt like a breath of fresh air that had seeped into her world.

Stealing glances as she drove, she saw glimpses of the awed expression on her companion’s face as each turn in the road opened up another new world of color and whimsical fantasy in the showcase that Mother Nature was presenting to their very eyes.

Even though the young woman had planned out the course of travel the beautiful colors and her good fortune to pick the peak time for viewing, the seasonal changing of the foliage stunned her. Danni silently thanked the gods who were watching over her and her ‘Amazon,’ for not only giving them this beautiful and wondrous day to enjoy, but for allowing their friendship to weather the storm that had swept over them in such a fury.

The petite nurse had opened her heart to many of the doctors as they drifted through her work area during the course of their duties as interns, residents, and or fellows, but none had ever touched her in such a way as this one in particular. It was as if she had some hidden bond with the tall surgeon, tying the two together.

"So, we almost there?"

The question brought her back from her revelry. She looked down at the piece of paper in her hand, her eyes going over the cryptic notes that were scribbled on it. "Yep," she agreed, "just one more turn and we should be there."

"Is that turn in this state or the next?" Garrett teased her companion.

"Hey, you were the one that wanted to be far away from any beeper or paging system. I can’t help it if this was how far we had to go to get out of the hospital’s range." The blonde’s retort was filled with easy flowing laughter. "I think that’s it! Up there on the left, where the sign is." Her attention was directed from the road, as she leaned forward again, checking the note. The Blazer moved steadily forward as the seconds clicked by, each one bringing them closer to their destination. With an assured smile on her face, Danni pointed to the small dirt road just passed the sign saying, "Turn here."

The surgeon studied the rutted, dirt path that her friend had been calling a road, as she stopped before crossing the two lane black top to turn onto it. "Hmmm…I can see why taking my SUV made good sense. Hang on, it looks like it maybe a little bumpy."

The half-mile trek on the trail had been well worth it. There, ahead of them, in an area of cleared out trees, was a small cabin nestled into the midst of the forest. Pulling up to the structure, Danni was eager to get out, undoing her seatbelt before the vehicle had come to a complete stop. Her eyes flashed with the light of recognition, as she surveyed her surroundings. "It hasn’t changed one bit. It’s just like I remembered it," she declared. She opened the passenger door and sprang from the seat. She ran up to the porch steps and turned around with both her arms outstretched.

The sight of the young woman, her blonde hair being tussled by the breeze and an incredible smile showing from her radiant face, made the surgeon think she was intruding upon some long-lost, private memory. The surgeon’s keen eyesight followed the dancing figure as it glided from one point to the next, spinning and laughing until she finally stood very still and hugged herself, trying to hold on to those things she had just experienced in her mind.

The small woman looked up into the distant calming azure pools, a soft shade of crimson now spreading over her skin, as she realized she was being watched. It was as though she was a young girl caught playing at make-believe, but this time it was different. This time it was for real and she had the friend with her that her heart had always longed for, who would be the one that touched her very soul to its hidden depths. Danni could not help but be a little embarrassed at her unbridled actions pouring forth from her childhood, manifesting now in front of her friend.

She slowed her pace to a standstill and gazed back at the tall woman emerging from the opened driver’s door of the vehicle. The long, raven locks moving gently with the forest’s natural air current, beckoning to them as she moved away from the vehicle and closer to Danni. The small woman stood mesmerized as she watched Garrett come to within just a few feet of her. Reaching out to her friend, she touched her arm, just ever so lightly to make sure that this was not just another of her dreams. Wrinkling her nose, she cocked her head to one side and spoke softly. "I guess you think that I’m silly."

"Nope," the word was deliberately drawn out. "I think you look cute." She looked around the clearing and then back to her friend. "You must have had some wonderful times here in the past to feel this way."

The blonde was speechless at the surgeon’s words, nodding in agreement. Closing her eyes, she willed her emotions to yield once again to her control.

A warm smile tugged at her lips as she began to speak. "I used to spend time here with my grandfather when I was growing up. My brother and sister never really enjoyed it like I did." A single tear rolled down her check as she remembered. "I haven’t been up here since I was sixteen, right before he died." She wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. "By the gods, I don’t know whether I missed him or this place more," she confided.

The older woman was curious about what had kept her friend from coming back sooner than now. "So why did you wait so long to come back?"

Reflecting inwardly, she sighed. "I guess I just got too busy with school, friends, and all the stuff that goes along with becoming an adult. Besides, my uncle inherited it but never spent more than a week or two here each year." She shrugged her shoulders, "No one to enjoy it with mostly. It was never one of the "in" places to go when I was a teenager. You’d say Sandy Lake to someone and they would look at you like you were from Mars." She was quiet for a moment before continuing. "There is something about the beauty of nature that you just can’t enjoy unless you share it with someone."

"But surely you had friends that you could bring…"

"I’m friendly, Garrett, but that doesn’t always mean that I had friends to share quiet moments with, or who would understand and appreciate the solitude of the forest."

Her words seemed profound to the surgeon’s ears. She looked at her companion, as if seeing her for the first time in this new light. Here, in front of her, was not the social butterfly one thought that she was originally, but rather the lone pine tree that stood ever-vigilant against the changing weather patterns, offering shelter to all who sought it. A sense of pride came over the woman, realizing that she was thought of as someone special and deserving to share in the beauty of this place. It felt good to be thought of in that way and she let her small friend know it by the lopsided grin stretched across her face. She choked on the words at first, but finally got them out. "Thanks for thinking enough of me to share this with you."

Danni smiled back at her, too scared to let her know what she was thinking.

****************

The remainder of the day, after unpacking the supplies, was spent on exploring the area and enjoying the natural beauty of the land. The two grown women frolicked and played like children in the piles of fallen leaves that had accumulated on the ground, first gathering them and then taking turns jumping into them. Anyone watching would not have considered them capable of holding the highly disciplined and demanding careers that they had. The sounds of laughter and giggling were like music to their ears, as each delighted in the closeness of this budding friendship.

With the light of day drawing to a close, thoughts of food and a warm fire soon came to their minds. Each one chipped in to the common goal. Garrett stacked the small branches and kindling, starting a fire in the fireplace, as Danni prepared their food for dinner. By the time they were done eating, darkness had fallen outside making the glowing embers of the fire even more inviting. They sporadically conversed about the day’s events; their thoughts often left long moments of comfortable silence as they sat in front of the fireplace, soothed by its warmth and their full bellies.

The fresh country air had taken its toll, as Danni began to find it hard to keep her drooping eyelids from closing almost completely. Shaking her head to try to fight off the ensuing sleep, the blonde yawned as she slowly made motions of getting up from her chair. "I guess I’m more tired than I thought." She stretched and yawned again. "I better turn in before you have to carry me to bed," she teased innocently.

The dark-haired woman looked into the fire studying it. "Hmmm…sounds like a plan to me." She smiled at the young woman. "Maybe I should bank up the fire so it will last ‘til the morning."

Danni nodded, making her way over to the beds. "Does it matter to you," she pointed to the two bunk beds against the wall, "upper or lower?"

"You take what you want," she chuckled, "I’ll sleep in whatever is left empty."

The small woman grabbed her nightclothes out of her bag and headed for the bathroom to change. Stopping at the door she looked over to Garrett who was strategically placing more logs on the fire. "Hey, Gar, I couldn’t find your pajamas when I looked for them yesterday, so I packed a pair of sweats for you to sleep in. I hope that’s okay?"

She held onto the log she was about to place and began chuckling, "Yeah, that’s okay." She watched the perplexed look on the blonde’s face.

"Where do you keep them anyway?" She shyly asked, then offered, "for future reference, I mean."

"Ahh…Danni, I don’t really have pajamas per say, that’s why you couldn’t find any."

"Oh! A boxer and T-shirt kind of girl, eh?"

A lone eyebrow arched as she answered with all sincerity. "Not really, I sleep in the buff when I’m not on call."

Mouthing the word ‘Oh!’ she went into the bathroom with visions of a tall, raven-haired, stalwart, unencumbered body being carefully caressed between the sheets on the bed. She closed the door and fell back into it. She fanned herself with her hand in an attempt to cool her raging thoughts. "That was more than I needed to know," she said under her breath as she contemplated taking a cold shower.

*************

The pristine sound of silence was deafening to the ears of the city dwellers as each lay in their bunk. The combination of full bellies, a day full of fresh air, not to mention the warmth and smells of the wood-burning fireplace, had quickly dulled their senses enough to allow each woman to drift off happily into the land of slumber.

Thinking back about her younger days spent here, Danni had prayed that her strong friend would easily succumb to the deep and relaxing sleep that she had always experienced. The mountain air was different than the city air. It had a way of cleansing your thoughts of worries and troubles, at least that is what her grandfather had always told her. The small blonde had surfaced from her sleep just long enough to hear the slow, rhythmic breathing of her friend. She smiled, then turning onto her side she pulled the blanket under her chin as she nestled into the pillow, drifting off swiftly once again.

The occasional popping and crackling of the logs on the fire had given way over time to the gentle even glow of burning embers. The night was edging over the apex of its nigritude into the softening light of early morning when Danni could feel herself being slowly aroused from sleep by the irregular rocking sensation of her body. Her mind strained to make sense of it, thinking that she had just relived a somewhat humiliating ambulance ride that she had once had in her now-forgotten dream. The harder that she tried to bring order to her mind, the more she was able to actually feel the rocking and bouncing of the bed beneath her. Her external senses were now coming to life with the surging adrenaline that sped through her body. The audible noises of thrashing and turning from the bed underneath hers filled her ears.

"What?" She mumbled sleepily as she tried to push her head up off of the pillow. "Garrett, do you feel that?" She was now leaning up on her elbow, rubbing her eyes with her fingers. "Are you all right?"

The sudden movement of the body below had sent a rippling tremble throughout the bed frame as she quickly sat up, throwing her long legs over the edge and on to the floor. She sat there with her fingers clenched tightly on the mattress, her body rocking back and forth as she tried desperately to regain her breathing.

The sounds of gasping sent alarms through the nurse’s brain as she scurried to the end of the bed and started down the ladder that was attached to the frame. Blinking her eyes in rapid succession to accustom them to the dim light, she stepped around from the bed and gazed at the sight before her. Seeing the long hair draped forward on the downcast face hiding it from view and the tall body tense with fear, the young woman reached out to place a gentle hand on her shoulder. The soft touch on her skin drew an abrupt, uplifting turn of the shadowed head, allowing large, pleading eyes to be seen staring back at her in the dim glow given off by the smoldering embers. The look touched the very depth of Danni’s soul with its need to be comforted. Words were not exchanged as the small woman stepped closer, wrapping her arm around Garrett’s shoulders, pulling her in toward her welcoming body.

With her head resting on her young friend’s chest, the surgeon let the tears slowly find their way out, escaping the prison that housed them for so long. Soon, it became a hard, soul-cleansing cry that had overtaken her. Her fingers released the mattress, only to allow her long, muscular arms to wrap themselves around the small waist of the nurse. The gentling touch of Danni’s hand stroking her friend’s dark hair was accompanied by the soothing sound of her voice. "It’s okay…I’m here…I’m with you now…nothing can hurt you," she whispered. Brushing her lips against the top of the crying woman’s head, she tenderly rested her cheek on it, her eyes closed in meditation. "I won’t let it."

She found herself being comforted with tears rolling down her face as her mind fought to regain control. The vulnerability of the normally strong, stoic woman had been shown to the petite nurse without any reserve. There for her to see, the surgeon subconsciously had bared herself, both body and soul, for scrutiny.

The effortless ease that the pair had in their friendship was evident, as both the comforted and the comforter relished in the moment. Each soul either getting or giving what was needed most, unselfishly.

With her tears subsiding, the once-thought-of strong woman began to speak, her voice quivering as she tried to get the words out. "I…I…can’t change a thing." She shook her head in defeat. "It just keeps coming…keeps repeating itself over and over again." She bit her lip to stop it from trembling, "I can’t prevent it, or change its outcome."

Maintaining a soothing voice, the younger woman asked, "What can’t you change, Gar?" Then offered, "Maybe I can help you."

Crystal blue eyes pierced through the dimly lit room with such intensity that they shook the very soul of the young nurse. The hurt and pain transmitted between the two was immeasurable. With that single gaze, Danni had become privy to the driving force of the surgeon’s life.

Her mind began gathering the parts of the puzzle, searching desperately for the one key element that would tie it all together. The sounds that had awakened her this night were the same as the ones she had heard on their nights off together for the last several weeks. She thought back, trying to remember exactly when the surgeon had first shown signs suggesting her lack of sleep. Green lamps blazed with realization that it had all started around the time of the birth of Rene’s children, the night of the horrific family tragedy and the days of dealing with the single family member that had been left.

Danni closed her eyes tightly and prayed. ‘Please, don’t let me be right. Don’t let that have happened to her.’ Her mind raced for any reference that her roommate had ever made as to family, and came up empty. It was as though they had been wiped out of the surgeon’s memory. Images of a serene-looking Garrett entered her mind. The scene quickly playing in her head, they were talking to Diana Morgan about how she wanted to remember her brother, Brad. Then the nurse could hear the sound of her friend’s voice talking in the distance. It was a conversation she had had with Danni, enlisting her aid in the situation. ‘…It could affect her for the rest of her life. I don’t want to let her feel any remorse about what has to be done. She doesn’t need to be haunted with this tragedy any more than she is already.’ She could still see the pained look on Garrett’s face from that day.

"By the gods!" Danni exclaimed under her breath. She had found that elusive piece that tied the puzzle together. Tears began to roll down her cheek as she felt the rage of her anger build within her. The fates could be cruel indeed. Had it not been for Rene needing to be off that night, her friend would never have been in a position to see history repeat itself first hand and all too personally. Her heart cried out in anguish for the surgeon.

With renewed concern, the young woman held on to her friend. "I’m here…shhh, I’m right here with you." Sensing the chilled touch of the skin under her hand, Danni reached down to the rumpled ball of blankets, pulling one around to cover the trembling form. "I think we better get you warm," she whispered into the sulking woman’s ear, proceeding to rub her hands on top of the blanket to hasten the warmth into the shivering body. "Garrett, I’m going to put some more wood on the fire." She tugged at the surgeon’s hand that was now clutching the blanket together in front of her. "Let’s get you closer to the fireplace. Come on…you can sit up here in the chair."

Blue eyes raised to meet the warmth of the loving green that acted like the beacon of a lighthouse, guiding the ships away from the rocky traps of a jagged shoreline. The promise of safety guiding her motions, she nodded her head and rose to follow the smaller woman. There was shelter in those eyes and the sailor was sure that for now, she had found her safe harbor.

Danni patiently waited, not wanting to push her friend before she was ready to share her past life experiences. She made herself busy replenishing the wood in the fireplace, and coaxing the glowing embers into igniting the kindling. Her mind tried to think of how her friend had been able to live for so long without having anyone close to her. The young woman thought about her siblings and how much she enjoyed and took pride in their lives and loves. Danni looked over her shoulder at the ghastly form that filled the chair; she could feel her heart tugging at her to give comfort, but knew that what her friend needed now was warmth and time to deal with her feelings.

She got up from the fireplace and ventured into the small kitchen area of the cabin. She had provided warmth for the exterior of the tall woman, now it was time to think of something for the inside. The blonde rummaged through the bag of provisions that they had brought with them until she found the box of tea bags. A slight smile came across her lips as she remembered her mother’s favorite saying when troubled times had reached one of her offspring, ‘Share some tea with me and I’ll share in your troubles.’ She had always marveled that by the time the cup or two of tea would be gone, the troubles seemed to be also. Sighing, she reverently whispered as if it were some kind of prayer, "Well, Mom, let’s hope that I paid attention all those times." She reached for the teakettle on the stove and filled it with water, placing in it back on the now-lit burner. An occasional gaze in on her friend only prolonged the task of readying the cups for the steaming liquid that would steep the tea of its flavor. Sooner than she anticipated, the teakettle began to whistle, drawing attention to its timely readiness. Stealing a brief look in Garrett’s direction proved only to be disheartening, as the bleak woman sat unaware of the shrill whistling that the excited teakettle was producing.

Carrying the two cups over to the fireplace area, she placed one down on the table next to the empty chair. The nurse gently placed the other cup next to the surgeon’s sinewy fingers, "Garrett, I made us some tea. Would you like to have a cup?"

She waited to see if the words would get any type of response from her friend. They didn’t. The huddled figure still clutched on to the blanket, her eyes staring straight ahead of her. The petite blonde wasn’t about to give up on her friend, though. Instead, she carefully pried the fingers of one hand away from the blanket, replacing it with the handle of the cup. "Careful now, it’s hot. We got to get some warmth going on the inside, Gar. Take a sip or two for me, will you?" The blonde watched patiently as the cup slowly made its way to the lips of her friend. With each sip a little more of the warm liquid reached its destination. The combination of the warmth both inside and out was beginning to soothe the ragged woman, easing her with as much gentleness as was being shown by her small friend.

Danni took solace that her words were getting through to her sullen friend. The simple act of sipping tea had been as long awaited as a baby’s first step. The nurse smiled, knowing that it was the first step for her friend in her battle to learn to love and be loved. Pleased that she was a part of the healing that was beginning to take place, Danni lavished in the thought. She bent her head to gently brush her lips on top of the contemplative woman’s head, then slowly moved away to tend to the fire.

The petite woman stood before the fireplace, her mind consumed with thoughts of her friend as she absently watched the flames dancing along the logs. After a few moments, her train of thought was interrupted by the sound of a voice coming from behind her. Startled by it, she turned to see her friend, still mesmerized but slowly moving her mouth in speech.

"You need to know…." The words were rough in coming out. "I never wanted," her eyes fell on the woman tending the fire. "I never needed…"

Danni rose, moving closer to her friend. "Garrett, you don’t need to explain anything if you don’t want to."

The firelight that reflected in the tortured globes made them shimmer as they followed the movement towards her. "Please, I want to tell you. You deserve to know what’s going on." She got a far away look in her eye as she thought for a moment. "I never dreamed that I would want to talk about it, ever again."

The nurse braced herself for what was about to unfold. Pulling the empty chair closer to her friend, she sat down, calmly waiting for Garrett to begin.

The surgeon pressed her eyelids closed as she concentrated on her breathing, trying to slow it down to a rhythmic pattern. Biting her lip, she jerked her head into a nod, before turning to look directly into the love-drenched green fields that were her friend’s eyes. Pursing her lips, the woman cautiously began her tale.

"I know exactly what Diana Morgan is going through. I’m a lone surviving family member, too." She held her hand up, not wanting to be interrupted. "I was out with a group of school chums at a movie when it happened. My parents and my younger brother were coming home from one of his baseball games when the accident occurred. They were going through an intersection when they were broadsided and pushed into a telephone pole. I didn’t find out until I came home. The house was empty when I arrived, I thought that they were just out for a celebratory ice cream cone after Lucas’ game. Then the phone rang, changing my life forever. I got the next door neighbor to drive me over to the hospital and that’s where, in no uncertain words, I was informed that my parents were dead." Pausing momentarily to choke back a tear, the woman continued. "They told me that my brother was critically injured and that it would be better if he were to die. He was so badly hurt that it would be impossible for me to take care of him then, or possibly even for the rest of my life. They had me sign a release for the bodies, they told me it was necessary to let them be removed by the funeral home. I found out years later that what I had really signed was the consent to remove Lucas from all life support." She gazed deeply into the misting green reflection pools of her friend. "I trusted them, Danni, I didn’t know any better."

The nurse could feel her heart breaking for Garrett. How she wished she had been there beside her then. But it was the present now, and she would do her best to comfort and support her in any way that she could. "You were just a child then, you weren’t expected to know any better. Why, I wish I knew who that physician was today. I’d like to give him a piece of my mind, taking advantage of the situation and you." She could feel her anger growing, deciding that now was not the time to explode.

"I was devastated with the loss. I had no one to really look after me and since I was only seventeen, I was still considered a minor in the eyes of the law. I was shuffled between the three relatives that I had left in the world, for the next year and a half until I went to college." She sniffed back a tear that was trying to escape. "I never realized how much I took them for granted until they were gone. That’s when I vowed never to let anyone hurt me again…that’s when I decided to not let anyone get close to me. The hurt was just too much when they were gone. I pretty much succeeded," she looked away, shyly admitting, "until I came here to Pittsburgh and couldn’t help myself." The dark haired woman coughed trying to clear her throat. "I told myself that I could make a difference and not let what happened to me, happen to someone else. I found out that I was wrong…dead wrong."

"Gar, there was nothing you could have done to prevent the accident. In fact, you did everything within your powers to give that family a fighting chance," she sighed. "It just wasn’t in the cards. Don’t let yourself think that you can stop the fates in their tracks." She reached out to touch the surgeon’s cheek, catching an isolated tear in its path. "I realize that it wasn’t your original call night, but everything happens for a reason. I think the Chabot twins chose that time to come into the world so that you could be in the right place, at the right time."

"I just know what that girl is going to live through, the torment, the wondering, the pain." The surgeon bit down on her lip in anguish. "I’ve been there, Danni, it’s not a nice place. You wonder if you had been in the car with them…if it had taken another minute longer to leave…would your family still be intact."

She closed her eyelids, letting the tears flow as they may. She was in too deep to try pulling back into that stoic protectiveness that she had used for so many years. She felt the gentle cupping of her cheek by the small hand of her friend and leaned into it. She could not believe that she was doing this, talking about her life, her family, after all these years. The events of the past few weeks had really shaken her world into the realization that she could no longer hold everything inside.

The comfort that she felt with the petite nurse was undeniable, she had felt it from the first day that she talked to her. It was as if she had known her for years, but yet only met her then. The only other person that she had ever felt that close to was her brother and look what had happened to him. For a moment she was seriously scared to let the young woman into her private arena of emotions, or anywhere near her, terrified that some horrible tragedy would befall her also if left to become too close to the ill-fated surgeon.

Sensing the grief and turbulence in her friend’s soul, Danni felt compelled to speak. "I know what you’re thinking, Garrett, and I don’t accept it. You are not responsible for the fates of the people you love." She raised the forlorn woman’s head so that their eyes met. The radiance of the gaze filled her soul and overflowed into the azure pools, giving new life to the still and murky waters of her soul. "You have done nothing but treat people with kindness and love. I see it every time that you’re in the trauma rooms. There is a special aura around you, I know, I can feel it. You have a wonderful gift to give, Garrett, don’t shut the world out. Please…don’t shut me out, not now."

The voice was almost inaudible, "How can you say that? The people I love only end up dead."

"We all will die someday, it’s just a matter of time. Why not enjoy life and each other until that day comes and then be thankful for the chance to have known that kind of bond?" Her eyes stayed pinned to the surgeon. She was not about to let go of this friendship, not now. It took too long to find.

"I still can’t do anything to help Diana…" she countered.

"You could be there for her, let her lean on you." She winked, "I bet she’d jump at the chance to have someone in her life that she could relate to right now. Think of how you would have felt if you would have been able to talk to someone years ago." Danni paused, gauging the effects of her words on her friend. "You could help each other to heal."

The surgeon contemplated the idea. It would have been nice to talk to someone, anyone, before she had so completely walled herself off from the closeness of people in general. "Maybe, you’re right. Maybe I could help her adjust to life or just be there for her." She looked at the blonde in front of her with renewed interest. "Thanks for helping me turn this around. I appreciate that."

She reached out. Yes, for the first time in so many years, Garrett Trivoli reached out and actually embraced the person who had slipped right under her defenses and into her heart.

Danni wiped a tear from her own eye with the back of her hand, the outer corners of her lips turning up into a smile as she tried to hold back her body’s need to cry. "That’s okay, Gar, that’s what friends are for, to help in any way they can. You’ll see, just give it a chance, give us a chance."

The tall woman nodded her head, "I think I just may." She winked and both women proceeded to giggle in acceptance of the newfound bond between them.

Garrett looked around the cabin; the soft rays of morning’s first light were gently creeping in through the windows. "I guess we didn’t get too much sleep last night. I’m sorry that you…that I kept you awake."

"I’m not. I’m glad that I was able to be here for you. You might as well get used to it, Dr. Trivoli, you’ve got a friend here in Pennsylvania." The last part was a direct mocking of the state motto, and they both knew it as the laughter began. "I don’t know about you, but I sure could use a few more hours of restful sleep, what do you say?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." Garrett raised up out of the chair and started over towards her bunk. "First one up makes breakfast, right?"

"Right! Now let’s get back to sleep." The nurse watched as the bundled woman straightened out the remaining covers on the bed and settled herself under them. It had been a long night, but if it had helped her new friend, it will have been worth it.

*************

The outcome that the last few hours of sleep had on her was in effect, a cleansing of the soul. The normally stoic woman woke up feeling a sense of inner peace, for the first time in her adult life, she welcomed it with open arms. Letting her eyes take in their surroundings, she let her senses imbibe in the warmth and friendliness of the cabin and it’s furnishings. The comfortable rustic appearance had a charm and pleasantness all its own. She put her head back down on the pillow, staring at the underside of the bunk above her. Her thoughts drifted to the young blonde, who was becoming so much more to her then just another passing acquaintance. Her life had been filled with acquaintances, now it was time to make a friend. No, rather to be a friend.

She wondered when the walls of thick black stone had been removed from around her heart. She contemplated over the past night of soul searching, gut twisting, stare you in the face reality of her life, and concluded that she knew exactly when the wall had disappeared. It was when she had gazed into those wondrous green eyes, filled with nothing but love.

With a creak from the wood frame of the bunk beds, tussled blonde hair that was attached to an upside-down face come tumbling over the side of the bed.

"Hey, you’re awake!" Her eyes lit up seeing that the surgeon was lying silently in bed. "Get enough sleep?"

"Hmmm," the dark-haired woman let one eye open wide. "Guess so, I’ve been up for a few minutes."

"What do you say to getting up, now? I’ll make breakfast right after I use the bathroom, okay?" Danni scampered down from the upper bunk. She started walking in the direction of the bathroom when her body was captured by a long drawn-out yawn; her arms stretching up and out as far as they could. When the yawn had dissipated, she shook her head, rubbing her upper arms with her hands to chase the chill away. "I’ll be out in a minute or two," she stated as she entered the small room, closing the door.

The surgeon was caught completely off guard, her voice allowing small chuckles to rise from her mouth. Her life was definitely not going to be the same as before, that was for sure. Garrett threw back the covers and slid her long legs out of the bunk, reaching for the sweats that Danni had packed; she began pulling them on. ‘I bared enough for one morning,’ she thought getting the sweatshirt over her head. ‘I don’t think she could take much more.’

The breakfast had been a simple one that was shared by the two women, easy conversation being interspersed along the way. No mention was made to the tormentuous early morning hours by either one. Each thinking only of the other’s comfort levels with the past events, knowing that when the time was right, they would breech the subject again.

"If we hurry, we’ll have time to hike down to the lake," the small blonde offered. "You like to fish?" Her eyebrows jumped up and down in anticipation.

"Fish? Yeah, I like to fish." The surgeon stopped, thinking back to the last time that she had been fishing. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "I haven’t been fishing since…" she gulped, paused and then continued on. "Since the last vacation with my family." She looked over to the gentle face of her friend, taking comfort there; she was able to speak about them for the first time in many years. "Lucas and I would fish all day long, dad would clean them and mom would fry them up for the family dinner that evening."

Danni could feel her emotions surfacing. Thinking that she was going to cry the nurse blinked back the tear forming in her eye. She couldn’t believe that the stoic surgeon had just let her in to the secret world of her youth. This small gesture of sharing was a definite sign that the healing process for her friend was becoming a reality.

"Do you think we could do just a little fishing today, I mean, the two of us?" Garrett looked at the petite woman, hope written all over her face.

Speechless, the blonde hair moved freely on top of the nodding head, while a dazzling smile swept across her face. Her voice was unsteady at first, taken aback by the emotion of the moment. "Sure thing! I’ll get the rods and gear." She pushed back from the table and went to the small closet on the far wall. "Grampa always had them ready to go. I bet…yep! They’re still here." She pulled out a rather dated set of rods and a small tackle box. Holding them up, she proceeded to ask, "Shall we?"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

They hurriedly grabbed their jackets and took off with thoughts of fishing both now and in the past racing through each of their minds.

************

The day quickly sped by as they filled it with exploration of the area that Danni had grown up in, falling in love with it all over again. The petite woman was amazed at how natural it felt to have the surgeon at her side as they roamed the many trails she had used as a girl. The pleasure brought to them in the time spent fishing had been soothing to both of their souls. Garrett was finding it easy to open up to the younger woman, while Danni lavished in the acceptance of herself by another living being, one that would willingly share with her unconditionally. Any scars remaining from the past days of loneliness in her youth now became insignificant.

With the sun now slowly starting it’s descent, the pair packed up their belongings and readied themselves for the ride home. The relaxed feeling of quiet camaraderie allowing each occupant of the homeward bound Blazer to reevaluate her outlooks on life in the light of the newly, bonded friendship.