Impulse: Book
Two
IT’S JUST
THE BEGINNING
By Mezzo
“This
is Book Two in my series called Impulse.
If you haven’t read Book
One: AFTER ALL IS SAID, you might want to start
there.”
DISCLAIMERS: (see
INSTALLMENT
ONE)
Copyright
© 2002 by Mezzo All Rights Reserved
Visit
and join http://groups.msn.com/MezzosMelodramas
for installment previews.
Comments
and feedback are welcome at mezzosmelodramas@msn.com.
*****************************************************************************************
INSTALLMENT ELEVEN
The Crawfords sat down on the couch and Tori
sat in the chair next to them. Paul had made them all a drink. Making themselves
comfortable, they tried the best they could to make Tori feel
at ease.
“Well
dear. What is it that has gotten you feeling so hesitant?” Paul and Diane sat patiently giving Tori time to collect her thoughts.
“Well,
let me start by saying that the two of you have been so wonderful to me through the years. You have always made me feel like one of the
family. And for that, I will always be grateful. I
cherish my relationship with you and Cole. He
is very special to me.” She stopped and
gave them each a smile.
“We
feel the same way Tori. You know you will always have a
special place in our hearts. Cole feels the
same way.”
“Thank
you. That really means a lot. I know that you’ve always held hopes that
maybe Cole and I would get back together. But I’m afraid that isn’t going to
happen…..especially now.” Tori paused to gather her thoughts.
“Tori, whoever this person is I’m sure they must be
wonderful.” Diane was getting very
concerned. Why was Tori being so secretive?
“Well
let me preface what I am about to say first…. It has taken years to come to terms
with this. This is not a phase and it is not
going to go away. This has nothing to do with
my relationship with Cole. We share an
incredible relationship and I have always wanted the best for him. Unfortunately, that does not include me. You see I used to watch my parents when I was
younger. I came to believe that love was something that you never compromised
on….that when true love exists, there is nothing like it. I want that for Cole. And I want that for myself. Unfortunately when love hits you, you can’t
choose the package that it comes in. And to tell you the truth, I wouldn’t change one
iota of the person that I have fallen in love with.” Tori
waited to see if the Crawfords had anything to say.
“Tori dear…..is this person a criminal or something? Why all the mystery?” Diane did not want to rush Tori
but she was really getting anxious.
“No
this person is far from a criminal.” Come
on Tori…. sometime today. You love Brett…….and
that’s all that matters. Who cares what
other people thin? “She’s very
kind hearted and very beautiful. She’s
Brett Montgomery.” There I said it. Tori waited for the
fall out………. But it didn’t come. Looking
at Diane and Paul, Tori could see that they were in a bit of
shock. And something else.
What that something else was she wasn’t quite sure.
The Crawfords sat there stunned. This
was not what they expected and yet, when Tori mentioned Brett,
everything seemed to make sense. They did
after all witness the two women’s relationship since youth. In recollection, Diane and Paul remembered their
connection. Drawing the correct conclusion, Diane thought about the look on Tori’s
face as Brett walked away. That was it; the peace that she saw on Tori’s face
was actually one of love. The love she held
for Brett.
Paul
Crawford on the other hand, though he comprehended what Tori was saying, was a little uncomfortable with the idea. He didn’t quite understand the attraction. Victoria and Brett had grown up to be beautiful
women. They could have anyone they wanted. Why would they choose this lifestyle?
“Tori, you know I understand that you and Brett are very close. You always have been. But how can you possibly say
that Brett is the one? I mean, don’t you want to have children? Won’t you miss
the company of a man?” Paul truly wanted
to understand this but wasn’t knowledgeable about this subject at all. All he knew was he was losing a really great future
daughter in law.
“Uncle
Paul, let me first answer your question by saying, I do want to have children and I have
known many wonderful men. All of those things
I can do if I choose to. But my love for Brett
was something I did not choose. For as long as
I can remember, my love for her was just there. I
can’t stop it anymore than I can stop breathing.
For so long I denied what I felt for Brett because I thought it was wrong. But that didn’t make it go away. It just made it even the more intense.” Tori stopped, remembering the loneliness that she felt when Brett
wasn’t in her life. Has it really only
been two days since Brett and I revealed everything to each other?
“Just
think about it Uncle Paul…. Everyday you go around and take breathing for granted.
It’s always there or else you would die. Now
one day someone comes along and tells you ‘you can only breathe half the air that
you’re used to’. But you can still exist. Since you’re only getting half
the air and you’re aware of it, now you’re need becomes even more intense.
It’s all you can think about. Everywhere
you go, all you can think about is the air you’re not receiving. Nothing you do can stops that need. You try
everything you can. But the air can never be replaced.
It‘s that important. Soon you come
up with ideas to use even less of the air that you are receiving so you can conserve it. You stop exercising because you use too much air,
so you end up out of shape. Your self-esteem becomes less and less because it was the air
that made you feel whole. Soon the people around you start to get mad, because your lack
of air has made you angry, bitter and unbearable to live with. You then feel tired and
lethargic and soon you are not going to work. You
become less and less the person that you’re proud of because you don’t have the
other half of what you’re body needs.”
Looking
around the room, Tori took in the pictures of the
“That
is what it has been like for me without Brett for the last 16 years. Since Brett and I
were young, there was no limit to our bond. We
shared one hundred percent of our hearts as children. One day my heart told me that I had
to stop my feelings for Brett because I was taught that what I was feeling was wrong. At first, I tried to just be friends. But my
feelings would not go away. They just got more intense.
When I no longer could control my feelings, I tried to limit my time with her and
it did nothing but break both of our hearts. When that failed to dampen my feeling for
Brett, I decided to try and completely erase her from my life. I tried to replace her with other things and other
people but she could not be replaced. Soon I
started to loose faith in everything because the love I received from Brett was what gave me hope, gave me strength. I started to close off, become bitter, and angry because I could not have what I needed most. I
started to become less and less a person I could live with.” Tori paused to get back
her composure. Any thoughts of the years spent in separation conjured up very painful
memories for her. Once she felt calm again,
she continued.
“Then
one day I decided I needed the other half of my soul. Brett is the air that I breathe and
I cannot live without her. I don’t love
Brett because I choose to. I love Brett
because I have to. I’m sorry to have to say this.
It really is not and has not been my intention to hurt anyone. If there was any way
I could have what I have with Brett with Cole, there would be no way on Earth I could have
walked away. But I don’t. And I pray that he will someday find what I have found.
Because the moment Brett came back into my life, I could breathe again.”
Tori finally finished her explanation and hoped that somehow this
helped them understand how truly important Brett was to her.
As the three sat in silence for a few minutes, tears began to form in Tori’s
eyes. Their silence made her think ‘they
did not understand’ and she was saddened by the thought. How could love not be understood?
Diane
and Paul had never heard such a heartfelt declaration of love. They shared a look between
them and nodded. They both got up and went to
Tori’s side.
“Well
honey, I guess we have a new member in our family. Brett
is a very lucky woman and if you love her, we love her, although we already do since all
of you kids are like our own. The fact that
she can produce such a love in you Tori, only increases our
love for her. Although we will be hard pressed to find another like you, and Cole
definitely has his work cut out for him, we are happy for you. Be happy sweetheart. You
have our support. What your parents shared
when your mother was alive was nothing but spectacular. And watching you and Brett grow up
kind of helps us to understand what you two share. It is
special indeed.” Diane stated and then
looked at her husband.
“Absolutely. I may not totally understand
what you and Brett share. But I can recognize love when I see it. You are very lucky to have each other.” Paul reached down and pulled Tori
to her feet. Taking his wife and Tori in his arms, they shared a group hug.
“Well
what do you say we get back to the party?” Paul
said with a smile that matched his son’s and one that Tori
had grown to love throughout the years.
“Um yeah. But I’m going to have
to ask you to keep this between the three of us. Nobody
really knows about Brett and I yet and we would rather break it to them slowly. I only told you because I didn’t want you to
hear it from someone else.”
“Thank you sweetheart. That was very thoughtful of
you. We would be glad to keep this to
ourselves. But I have a feeling everyone’s going to be very happy once they do find
out. You and Brett somehow fit together. Once the shock of it wore off, it somehow made
sense. Don’t you agree dear?” Diane
looked to her husband.
“Yes,
yes, I have to agree.” Paul was glad to
see the happiness in Tori’s eyes. There
was no denying what he saw there.
“Thank
you. That really does mean a lot. So come on
I’m starving.” Tori
felt her heart rate return to normal. She had been nervous about the conversation and was
relieved to have another seal of approval. Things were definitely falling into place.
TO BE CONTINUED. Installment Twelve
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