Although Gabrielle had asked Thesocles if they could use the area outside Kesan’s cemetery for the funeral, he graciously insisted it take place in one of the city’s gardens. There was a short discussion among the Amazons about this, and eventually it was decided to build the pyre within Kesan’s least-cultivated area, where the trees were old and tall. Dressed out in her full Amazon garb, Gabrielle gave a short benediction, and together the Amazons and the five Guardians who wished to be Amazons sang the last rites for their sister, lost in battle.

Gabrielle stood next to Xena as the flames were lit. Seeing the tightly controlled expression on her warrior’s face, the bard leaned over. "Hey," she said quietly, "You OK?"

Xena gave a wry half smile. "I’m all right. Just can’t shake the feeling this won’t be the only funeral on this trip."

"Something you’re not telling the rest of us?" the bard asked.

The warrior stared at the pyre. "I don’t think Pollux is just going to walk away," she said gravely. "We hurt him, and he’s a professional. He won’t take it lying down, and Race will likely follow him. They’ll want revenge…" Xena paused. "That’s how I would’ve felt anyway. I don’t think this is over yet." Plus you took an eye … That probably wasn’t smart. Now it’s personal.

Gabrielle thought for a moment. "So why did you let Lilith pay them off?"

Xena shrugged. "It got rid of the slavers. She was right, they just wanted money. Stophacles and his men are gone. That … wasn’t ideal, but it worked. Now it’s just wounded mercenaries. By the numbers we’re about even, maybe even have the advantage – and I know how mercenaries think."

Gabrielle slid her arm around Xena’s waist. "We should have a meeting about this."

The warrior put an arm around her bard’s shoulders and pulled her close. "Yes we should, but tomorrow … late. We’re all still pretty tired. Another day or two here won’t make any difference in the end. Let them rest."

The young Amazon Queen turned away, solemnly watching the pyre, but keeping her arm in place. "So then, any plans for the next couple of days?" she asked innocently.

"A few," the warrior replied evenly.

"Such as?"

"Have to get this armor repaired, first off," Xena said matter-of-factly. "Look at it … the breastplate is a wreck. Argo’s tack is looking pretty bad too…"

"OK. I give," Gabrielle said, pouting. "Xena, do any of your plans actually include me?"

The warrior tried to raise an eyebrow, then gave in and just smiled. "Actually, I think most of them. Is that all right?"

Gabrielle pressed the side of her head against Xena’s shoulder. "Merciful Artemis … Xena, you have no idea how ‘all right’. I’ve been wishing for this for so long…"

"Gods Gabrielle," the warrior breathed back. "You’re … you’re all I think about…"

Solari cleared her throat. "Queen Gabrielle?"

"Of course," the bard replied, breaking away from her warrior and pulling herself up regally before stepping forward. "Sister Amazons, Tanith was a scout and warrior to whom we all owe a great debt…"

Gabrielle recounted Tanith’s deeds, not shying away from the scout’s killing of the two slavers a few days earlier, casting it in light of the woman’s concern for the caravan she was charged with protecting. With the bard’s skill, Tanith’s heroism would be remembered by the Amazon nation, worthy of a place in their history.

Her speech finished, Gabrielle returned to sit next to Xena, warmly taking the warrior’s hand in her own. At length, the pyre burned down, and the Amazons left two and three at a time towards the funeral tent, which housed food and wine in the Amazon tradition of making a party out of any occasion.

"Come on Warrior Stoic," Gabrielle urged, standing. "Eat drink and be merry, and all that stuff."

Xena raised her eyebrow. "Quit quoting the classics," the raven-haired woman warned.

"You could learn a lot from the classics," Gabrielle replied.

The warrior raised her eyebrow even further. "Didn’t know you were that … hedonistic."

Gabrielle sobered suddenly, looking thoughtful. "Xena, The Amazons are here because I asked them to be here. Now one of them is dead … If we can give that death meaning –"

"Stop," the warrior replied, more forcefully than she intended, rising to her feet and taking Gabrielle’s shoulders in her hands. "Don’t you dare blame yourself. It was my plan –"

"Which I agreed to," Gabrielle insisted, cupping Xena’s elbows. "And don’t you dare blame yourself either. Blame the mercenaries, blame those damn slavers … They’re the ones responsible, not any of us. Tanith was killed protecting a belief, a way of life. She knew the risks and she volunteered anyway. If tomorrow it’s me or you or Solari or Meleager, it’s by the whim of the Fates. People fight, and sometimes they die, but it’s what they fight for that counts, makes them heroes. Don’t you know that by now?"

Xena smiled again. "Yeah," she said, "I guess I do … You remind me of it often enough."

"Come on, warrior mine," Gabrielle smiled back warmly, turning to wrap an arm around Xena’s waist. "Tanith would want us to celebrate that she lived, not dwell on our sorrow that she died. I prescribe a little song, a little dance … and a lot of romance."

"Sounds like a good plan," the warrior replied, settling her arm over the bard’s shoulders.

The tent itself was just a shelter for the tables of food, wine, and ale. Most of the group were gathered around a series of small fires, amusing themselves with conversation to begin with, then some of Lilith’s followers began to play music, and a number of women started to dance. Adrea had begun the afternoon surrounded by a small group of Amazons, but at some point they all drifted away, leaving her alone with Dulith. The blonde guardian held the scout’s head against her shoulder, and they talked quietly.

Gabrielle nudged Solari, nodding in the couple’s direction. "When did that happen?"

"You got me," the Amazon replied, slowly shaking her head. "Rumor has it blondie there had a big, fat crush on Juna while they were in Amazonia. Juna didn’t say much about it of course, but I’d bet my left tit it was mutual. Hope this doesn’t mean trouble when we get back."

Gabrielle rolled her eyes. "Well, Juna wouldn’t be the first strong, silent type to miss out because she was too stubborn to – Ow!" The bard swung around to fasten an accusing stare on Xena, who had both hands around a pheasant leg and was innocently munching.

The warrior raised an eyebrow. "Something bite you, oh bard of mine?"

Gabrielle narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips, then just shrugged with a light chuckle. "OK, I guess a few strong, silent types get lucky."

Xena licked her lips, then tossed the pheasant bone into the fire with a smile. "Hold that thought … been a while since I got lucky."

Gabrielle turned five different shades of red in rapid succession. She opened her mouth briefly, then closed it and looked away with a stifled groan. Xena continued to smile warmly, shaking her head, then stood. "Come on my speechless bard," she said warmly, holding out her hand. "Dance with me."

"Oh, Xena, no," Gabrielle stammered. "You know I … uh … I mean, I was born with two feet but they’re both left ones…"

"Hey," the warrior teased, "what happened to ‘a little song, a little dance’?"

"That was … poetic license," the bard replied, a note of desperation in her voice. "Besides, Solari and I have some, uh, gossip to catch up on."

"Actually," the Amazon said, standing and trying unsuccessfully to suppress a smile. "I gotta go. Have a date with the innkeeper’s son."

"Solari!" Gabrielle practically shouted. "He can’t be more than seventeen. Isn’t he a little young?"

"Oh yeah," Solari grinned. "Big for his age though. Just the way I like ‘em … Don’t always know what they’re doing, but they can do it a lot." She winked.

Gabrielle buried her face in her hands and made a sound like a dying woman. Just then, one song ended and another began, this one much slower than the last. Xena grabbed the smaller woman’s upper arm and hauled her bodily to her feet. "Gabrielle," the warrior said with mock sternness, "there comes a time when we have to face our fears. This is one of them." Then, more gently, she added, "Please?"

The bard finally looked into her warrior’s eyes, caught the seriousness beneath the teasing. "This means a lot to you, doesn’t it?" Gabrielle asked.

"Yeah," Xena admitted quietly. "It’s not something I’ve … had a chance to do very often. Not for a long time. And I want to, with you … very much."

Gabrielle felt like she was melting. She touched the back of her hand to Xena’s cheek. "How can I say no?"

Solari shook her head, but her grin was from ear to ear. "Take care you two. See you tomorrow."

Xena wrapped an arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders, the bard snuggling close. "See you Solari," the warrior said, leading the smaller woman away. "And good luck."

The Amazon nodded. "You too," she mouthed silently, then strode off.

The area in front of the musicians was scattered with couples, mostly Amazons and Lilith’s followers, although there seemed to be more than a few folk from Kesan, and Lilith herself was wrapped around Meleager at the edge of the crowd, the two of them slowly spiraling towards the center. The sun was just beginning to set, the trees throwing long shadows. Light from surrounding torches and campfires glowed around the dancers, soft and warm, and the delicate scent of incense hung in the air.

Xena smoothly led Gabrielle to a spot right in the middle of everything. The tall warrior lovingly embraced her bard, heedless who might look or care – noting, strangely, that no one really seemed to. With a surreptitious glance around, Xena smiled, then simply relaxed. With Gabrielle holding her, everything was right, and good, and wonderful … why would it be anything else? I love you Gabrielle.

Together, they parted slightly, Xena settling her hands on the smaller woman’s hips even as she felt Gabrielle’s settle on her shoulders, fingers edging under the armor. The raven haired woman began carefully moving them both, slowly at first, in time with the sensual rhythm of the music. Gabrielle was a little self-conscious, but for all her insistence on her inability, she had little trouble following the simple steps, and soon gave herself over to the wonder of it all, pulling her warrior in, losing herself in the dance.

This is … nice, Gabrielle thought. Just the two of us … moving … together…Nice.

A delicious warmth began spreading through Gabrielle, holding this woman she loved so close as they danced, running her hands slowly over her warrior’s body, feeling callused hands running over her own. She recognized her growing arousal for what it was, but it was somehow different from what she was used to when she was alone, or even during her single night with Perdicas, lacking the urgency she usually associated with it. This desire was simple, slow, and sweet … like a warm stretch in the sun.

Xena was breathing in her ear. "You know," the warrior purred, sending a tiny shiver through her small partner, "I really love you in that Amazon outfit…"

"Oh you do huh?" the bard breathed back, nuzzling her warrior’s neck, then suckling along it gently.

"Uh-huh," Xena groaned, loving the gentle fire her bard’s lips were igniting within her. It felt like falling. Gods, I love you Gabrielle… She leaned her head forward, flitting her tongue across the smaller woman’s ear.

"Mmm…" Gabrielle felt lost, her power to put words into sentences slipping away. They moved together, to the music. Just her warrior and herself … moving … together … Nice … Words into action. I do words, she does action … Gods how I love her…how I want her…

Gabrielle bit her lip. She looked up until she was sure she caught her warrior’s eyes. "Make love to me Xena," she said, slightly breathless, melting again at the warm expression of love and desire, so clear on her warrior’s exquisitely beautiful face. "I’ve wanted you … for so long … I love you Xena … I want to make love to you…" She stopped herself from rambling, then tried to stifle the slight tremble that passed through her as she spoke. "Let’s go, back to the inn…"

Xena’s smile grew even warmer, if that were possible. She nodded, taking Gabrielle’s hand in her own, lovingly kissing the inside of her bard’s wrist. "I’ve made, um, other arrangements."

The bard looked into her warrior’s eyes. "How’s that?" she stumbled, her skin where the warrior had kissed it tingling, trembling. Her mind was having trouble with even the simplest of words.

Xena leaned her head down and kissed the smaller woman lightly on the lips. "Come on," she said, softly. "Let’s go."

Hand in hand, the two women silently left the party, Xena leading them away from the town and towards the castle. There was an air of delicious tension between them, but also a strange sense of peace, an easy warmth they both felt just as clearly as their mutual desire, and although Gabrielle was curious about where they were going, she felt no need to ask, or even say a word. They entered the castle through the main gates, crossed the courtyard, then the warrior led them through a side entrance where they climbed a series of steps, finally coming to a halt in front of a set of large, oak double doors.

With a sly grin, Xena scooped up Gabrielle so the smaller woman was curled up in her strong arms, then kicked out with one booted foot, flinging the doors wide. The bard giggled and pretended to swoon as her warrior carried her across the threshold.

"Well," Gabrielle said finally, looking around, still carried in Xena’s arms, "it’s definitely bigger than the room at the inn, but why?"

"More private," the warrior explained. Then she turned slightly, so the smaller woman was facing further in, and added, warmer, but with a slightly embarrassed edge, "And … the inn had no rooms with a fire."

The bard noticed the nice little blaze which crackled in the large fireplace across from the bed, and felt like she was falling in love all over again. "Oh … Xena…" she breathed, hugging her warrior close.

Never losing Gabrielle’s embrace, Xena gently set her partner back on her feet, holding her close for a timeless moment, breathing in the scent of her hair, running her hands over Amazon leather and warm skin, trying to imprint every sensation in her memory. So many of Xena’s experiences had been purely physical, driven mostly by lust. Lust she understood, knew how to control, but even that had rarely been her own. Giving in to the more intimately emotional side of things wasn’t something that happened to her very often, and letting herself be that vulnerable was in many ways uncertain ground.

But with the young woman in her arms now, she would risk anything. "I love you Gabrielle," she whispered softly.

"I love you Xena," the bard answered, biting her lip to keep from crying.

For a time they simply held each other. Gabrielle felt so filled with so many different things it took her a moment to sort them, but as her heart stopped pounding and she began to feel slightly less overwhelmed, her desire began to grow again.

"Xena," she whispered at length, "could we, um, lose the armor?"

"Good plan," the taller woman chuckled. Blue eyes looked down into green. "Do you want to help, or…"

Gabrielle looked thoughtful. That would be something familiar … assuming I can keep my hands from trembling. "Yeah, I would. Come on."

Taking her warrior’s hand, the bard led her partner over to the furs and cushions in front of the fire, urging her to sit, then began removing the armor with practiced ease. This was a good idea, the young woman mused, feeling some of her anxiety lift. Her relative inexperience had been quietly preying at the corners of her mind ever since she’d found the courage to ask Xena to leave the party. Carefully casual talks with her Amazon sisters over the last few days and her own imagination gave her a general idea of how things might go – and she figured Xena would take the lead anyway – but she still harbored a tinge of fear that she might be a disappointment.

This was a big step – a really big step. Xena was so much more experienced, had even had a god or two that she knew of. How could a village girl possibly compare?

But one look in Xena’s eyes as she undid the clasps banished all her doubts. By all the gods, she wants me too. Lilith was right – every time is like the first time. I love you Xena, love you more than life, and I’ll do everything I can to show you I love you … you deserve to be loved.

Once the brasswork had been neatly set at the foot of the bed, Gabrielle paused briefly to slip the feathers and other ornaments from off her own Amazon garb, then stood and gathered the crystal flask of wine and pair of goblets from the table. Settling down next to her warrior, she poured the wine and offered one to the taller woman, then they snuggled close.

"So," Gabrielle began, still a little breathless, "what happens now?"

Xena looked thoughtful. "Do you want to … talk about it?"

The bard pondered this for a moment, then looked into those incredible blue eyes. Believe it or not, that’s the last thing I want right now. Her heart pounding in her ears, Gabrielle replied, "I’d rather you just kissed me."

Xena smiled and slid her arm around the smaller woman. The warrior took a sip of wine, then set her goblet aside and leaned forward, pressing her lips to Gabrielle’s, letting the wine flow into her lover’s mouth before gently slipping her tongue in after it, the strong tang of the wine mixing with the warm sweetness that was just Gabrielle.

The bard’s hands ran through raven hair and she pulled Xena closer, pushing her tongue past the warrior’s lips in a slow exploration of her own. She swallowed the wine, which went straight to her head and fueled her desire, sucking on her warrior’s tongue, hardly believing anything could be so sensual. It seemed like her whole mouth was alive with tingling nerves she hadn’t ever guessed were there, and her whole body responded – even the roots of her hair seemed to move.

With a last sliding contact, Xena slipped her tongue from her lover’s mouth, sucking on the bard’s lower lip. Gabrielle gasped and fell away, laying back on the cushions, breathless. The taller woman caught her own breath and smiled, licking away the drops of wine that had spilled down her lover’s chin.

"Gods," Gabrielle gasped, "gotta watch what I ask for … where did you learn that?"

"Mmm, I have –"

"Many skills … yeah, yeah … hoo…" The bard took a few moments, mostly spent remembering how to breathe properly as she caressed her warrior’s face. As the blood rushing in her ears subsided, she broke into a grin. "Well, now, warrior mine," she purred, "I have a few skills too."

"Do tell."

"Yup," the bard growled. She raised herself up, pushing the other woman over onto her back, then lowered her lips to Xena’s neck where it met her shoulder. She slowly nibbled along Xena’s collarbone, pulling aside the shoulder strap of the warrior’s leathers, caressing with her lips and tongue as she went, then began working back. The intimate contact she had dreamt of for so long was hers to enjoy, and the young woman reveled in it, fastening on Xena’s throat, sucking hungrily before rasping her teeth across it, biting down gently at the pulse point, feeling her warrior’s heart thrumming under her lips.

Caught up in her own desire, she couldn’t see but she could feel her lover respond. Hearing Xena moan as the warrior threw her head back to give better access made Gabrielle grow even bolder. Shifting slightly, with deliberate slowness Gabrielle ran lips, tongue and teeth across the exposed skin of her lover’s breasts above the bodice, then pulled the leather down a tantalizing couple of inches, coming oh-so-close to giving the nipples the same treatment before once again sealing the warrior’s mouth with her own. Tongues intertwined, caressed each other, were sucked on by soft lips.

Xena took Gabrielle’s head in her hands and broke the kiss. That her young lover could be this hungrily passionate took the warrior by surprise. Every nerve and muscle in the black-haired, ex-warlord’s body was thrumming with desire. It took no small amount of self-control to keep herself from flipping the smaller woman over on her back and … conquering her.

That thought made Xena blink. Go easy warrior. She fought to breathe more evenly, then smiled. "A few skills indeed," she growled huskily.

Gabrielle’s head was spinning, but she found she rather enjoyed the sensation. She could feel the pulsing heat growing out from her center, and suddenly felt like her Amazon outfit was much too confining. She stared into the pale blue eyes beneath her. "I could, um, always use a few lessons though," she said, gasping just a bit. The bard traced a finger along her lover’s jaw before leaning in and following the same trail, gently, with her lips. So beautiful. "Teach me," she whispered into Xena’s ear, honestly. "Show me what you want, Xena … how to please you…"

Xena blinked again. It was the simple request of a young lover to her more experienced partner, had doubtless been said between couples since the dawn of time. But the ex-warlord had heard similar words before, from other partners, under very different circumstances. Easy Xena … this is Gabrielle. No one else. She’s here because she loves you. No other reason. And you love her. Now … love her.

Exhaling slowly, Xena wrapped the young woman in her arms and gently rolled her onto her back, covering the smaller body with her own, kissing her warmly, trusting in the strength of the bond they shared – a trust she’d given so rarely, it felt strange, frightening, and wonderful all at the same time.

"One catch, my bard," Xena smiled. "Show me how to please you too."

Gabrielle nodded, taking the other woman’s hand and kissing the palm before pressing it down over one of her breasts. She moaned quietly as the warrior gave it a firm but gentle squeeze. "Mmm … let’s get out of all this leather first," the bard pleaded. "Then I’ll … see what I can think of."

Xena hummed along her lover’s neck, flicked her tongue across an earlobe. "Deal."

The warrior took her time removing Gabrielle’s Amazon clothes, lovingly brushing her lips and tongue over every newly exposed expanse of skin. When her partner was finally completely undressed, she knelt back on her heels and took a moment to simply drink in the sight, seeing her as if for the first time, with the eyes of a lover. She felt her heat rising, taking in the wonderfully round breasts, the supple hips, the rippled abs and the light patch of hair between her bard’s legs that was exactly the color of the hair that framed her wonderful face. Every inch of Gabrielle was taut, rounded muscle under pale, soft skin, just slightly flushed with desire. "By the gods," Xena breathed, lightly running her fingers down a sculpted arm, "you are so beautiful…"

Gabrielle blushed slightly and smiled. "Hey, that’s my line…" she said softly, tugging playfully at her warrior’s skirt. "Why not give me a chance to say it, huh?"

Xena smiled back, then stood, deftly pushing aside the shoulder straps of her leathers and letting them fall to the floor. As she stepped forward, Gabrielle rose up on her knees, wrapping her arms around Xena’s waist, kissing the warrior’s stomach again and again, earning a few soft sounds of pleasure as she caressed the small of her warrior’s smooth back. Pulling away slightly, the bard took hold of Xena’s breeches, hesitating just a moment before tugging them down, tossing them somewhere as she sat back and stared up at the bronzed goddess before her.

"By the gods…" Gabrielle breathed, as if in a daze, then caught herself and smiled around another blush. "It’s still true. I could never say it enough." She took her warrior’s hand, pulling the other woman back down onto the furs.

"Then I guess I’ll have to find some way to stop you from talking," Xena grinned as she covered her lover’s smaller body with her own, scraping their hardened nipples together. She stifled Gabrielle’s response with a passionate kiss that went on and on as it moved down the bard’s throat, teased her collarbone, captured her breasts.

Gabrielle ran her hands through her lover’s dark hair, fighting the urge to knot her fingers in it as one of her nipples was sucked deep between soft lips, swirled over by a warm tongue for forever before it was sawed at lightly between teeth, drawing a moan. Then her warrior turned and lavished the same attention on the other breast.

The young woman had always thought her breasts were highly sensitive, and this was almost too much. She arched upward, feeling the sensation spread everywhere – she was so wet between her legs she thought she could feel it dripping, and realized with a thrill that Xena’s warm sex grinding slowly against her thigh was just as slick with desire.

The young woman gasped and arched her body even harder as a finger brushed lightly across her swelling nether lips. This is going to be fatal … Elysian Fields, here I come… "Mmm … Xena does, um … moaning count as talking?"

"Nah," her warrior grinned up at her. "In fact I want to hear that … a lot of it…" she said, voice rumbling as she continued working her mouth down over the bard’s taut abs, pausing briefly to dip a tongue playfully into her lover’s navel before moving lower still.

"Good … ‘cause…" What’s she … oh gods she’s… "Ohhh…"

Xena took her time, making slow, honest love to someone for one of the few times in her life, and it was everything she could have hoped for, and more. Xena thought she’d never had such a responsive lover, and delighted in every pleasure she could give her bard, both great and small, found herself pulled along into her own climax almost immediately every time with even the slightest of contact to her sensitive core, or even to her nipples, and once, just by a having an earlobe tenderly sucked into her bard’s warm, wonderful mouth, which had never happened to her before.

This was love, shared and powerful. It thrummed inside Xena with every tiny whimper and loud moan Gabrielle made. This young woman who had touched her heart brought shivers now to her body with even the lightest touch.

Towards the end, Gabrielle seemed barely aware of her surroundings, and only Xena’s iron will allowed her to keep some sense of sensibility. She held her precious lover close, so close, gently stroking the red-gold hair, whispering soothing words into the young woman’s ear, bringing her down slowly until Gabrielle rewarded her with a warm, loving smile and snuggled against her. Finally, exhausted, their mutual passion spent, the two of them mumbled heartfelt whispers of love, embracing each other tightly and drifting off into a deep, contented slumber.

* * *

Xena opened her eyes. Gabrielle was leaning over her, stroking her face, humming a gentle song.

"Oh, you’re awake," the bard said, a little startled. Then she smiled and bent in for a quick kiss. "Hey," she murmured quietly before laying back down and snuggling close, red-gold head pillowed on the warrior’s shoulder, pulling the furs back over them.

Xena held the smaller woman. The fire had burned low. The moon had set. In the light of the dimly glowing embers, she could barely make out anything. What … happened? "I was…" She paused. "I was having a nightmare."

Gabrielle stiffened for a moment, then just nodded. "I know," she said quietly. "Go back to sleep. It’s OK."

Xena nodded back, closing her eyes. Then her brows furrowed. "What do you mean, ‘I know’?" she asked quietly.

The bard caressed the line of her warrior’s hip for a moment before answering. "I mean," she said slowly, "you’ve had them before. I figured you … knew."

Xena considered this. "No, I didn’t," she said simply, the thought disturbing her for some reason. "I had one when I woke this afternoon. I remember that." She thought for a moment more. "How often does it happen?"

Gabrielle raised her head, bit the inside of her lip. "Sometimes more often, sometimes less. Lately not much at all really." She shrugged, seemed embarrassed. "It … scared me at first, then I … well…" Her voice trailed off.

Blue eyes stared into green. "You’ve been working me through them," Xena said with quiet realization. She gently touched the younger woman’s face, tracing her thumb lightly across the pale cheekbone. "You sing, or hum … stroke my hair," she said, pulling at tiny fragments of consciousness, barely remembered. "That’s what you were doing when I woke up, wasn’t it?"

Green eyes regarded blue. "Yes," the bard spoke finally, then gave a rueful chuckle. "Guess I had a little trouble waking up in time – you did kinda wear me out."

Xena nodded absently. And that’s why the one this afternoon woke me – after days without sleep she was too knocked out to notice. "How long have you been doing this?"

Gabrielle kissed her warrior’s shoulder before uncertainly laying her head back down on it. "Pretty much since we started together, I guess … You, um, remember saving that one village, the one with the silver mine?"

"Obportus and his raiders," Xena replied, the memory coming back all too quickly. "Yeah, I do." The taller woman gently extricated herself from her bard and sat up. "Gods Gabrielle – I could have taken your head off. What were you thinking? Why’d you do that?"

The bard sat up as well, placing her arm around Xena’s tensing shoulders. "You needed it," she answered, simply, softly. With her free hand she stroked her lover’s jawline, brushed her fingers slowly over the planes of Xena’s face. The young bard’s voice dropped to nearly a whisper. "I don’t like seeing you in pain."

Xena caught her bard’s hand in her own. "Gabrielle, in the last week I’ve killed … what? Sixty, eighty men? I enjoyed killing them. Maybe I deserve a few nightmares."

Gabrielle looked away for a moment. "Maybe," she nodded. "At least I’m sure that’s why you have been having them. Whether you deserve it … I don’t know. You say you enjoy the killing … Gods," she turned back, making sure she caught her warrior’s eyes again. "Xena, I’d be lying if I said there weren’t things about you that frighten me. I don’t always understand you, but, the simple truth is it does bother you … it hurts you, somewhere deep inside, where only your dreams can reach. And that … matters."

The bard rested her head on Xena’s shoulder. She paused, then said quietly, "Years ago, I came to understand that it’s the people who kill and don’t have nightmares that are the real monsters."

Xena stared out the window. "Gabrielle, I’ve done … so many horrible things."

"I know," Gabrielle agreed, simply. She gently twisted her hand so now she held the warrior’s, then lifted it and pressed it against her face. "But I’ve seen you do extraordinary things, Xena. Wonderful things. Not a day goes by you don’t do something that makes me so proud to know you, I think my heart will burst."

Xena looked down. "I’ve said it before Gabrielle – that darkness has never gone away. I don’t know if it can … Sometimes I don’t even know if I want it to…"

"Shhh…" the smaller woman soothed, tears forming in her shining green eyes. "I’ll let you in on a secret, my love: We are what we do. Not what others think, not even what we think of ourselves."

Gabrielle kissed the palm of the hand, let the kisses trial up the inside of her warrior’s arm. "I could never love a monster, Xena … a monster couldn’t love me back."

Gabrielle pressed the hand to cup her breast, moved and straddled her warrior’s muscled thighs. She took her warrior’s face in her hands, looking deep into those pale blue orbs. "Love me, Xena. Hold me. Let me love you…" She brushed her lips over the eyes that closed in pain, gently pressed her warrior down onto her back. The bard kissed her warrior lovingly for a few moments before her mouth and hands began to roam, aimlessly at first, then more deliberately, tracing the curves and hollows of warm and hot, soft and firm.

"I love you Xena … let me be a part of you … like you are of me…"

With infinite gentleness, the young woman made love to her warrior, softly brushing aside the taller woman’s attempts at giving anything back, whispering, "Let me love you Xena … let me hold you…"

Fingers slid within the dark woman, a gentle intrusion that waited for a response, reaching for a rhythm driven only by Xena’s own growing desire. Lips and tongue kept time, moving over her throat, her breasts. The warrior had felt pleasure in a thousand ways, but never with such devotion, such caring, such honest desire to love and have that love returned as openly. Beyond her body it reached into her heart, her soul, frightened her beyond measure, and yet was impossible to resist. Some part of the warrior fought against her release. To release meant surrender, and the warlord that still howled inside never surrendered.

But another part, that deep part of her that was still vulnerable and locked in everything that could hurt, that part of her couldn’t hold back. Didn’t want to. It ached with the desperate need to let go, to reach out and be held by something outside herself.

"Open to me Xena … I’m yours … give yourself to me … I need you, so much … come to me … I’ll hold you … I love you … I need you…" Simple words, sweet words, spoken by the voice that filled the warrior’s dreams, that calmed her anger, that soothed her pain … the voice that had called to her in Tartarus.

The voice she had followed back from the dead.

The rhythm built, surging powerfully, dangerous in its intensity, bringing tears to Xena’s eyes as it slowly worked its way into every cell of her body and every dark corner of her soul, grew toward an inevitable peak…

And finally, shattered her strength. "GGGG – Gabrielle!" the warrior screamed.

It was like drowning in fire and ice. It was like shaking apart at the soul.

It was like dying and being reborn.

Xena sobbed openly, willingly folding herself into the embrace that surrounded her. "I’m here Xena," her lover soothed, stroking her hair. "I’m right here. I’ll always be here. I love you Xena … love you … all of you…" The young bard simply held her warrior, rocking her back and forth.

In time, the shuddering sobs began to subside. The warrior was by turns embarrassed, touched, and grateful, and underneath it all was a deep current of simple love – emotions she had little experience with or use for in more years than she cared to remember, and realized she had only ever truly felt in the presence of the small woman who held her in her arms. Xena clung to her lover like an anchor, let the bond between them guide her back to herself, regaining strength enough to say, quietly, "I love you Gabrielle."

Finally, the two were able to sit up against the cushions, both staring into the embers of the long dead fire – Xena, for once, with her raven head cradled on Gabrielle’s shoulder. The bard managed, somehow, with one arm still around her warrior and the other trembling, to pour a goblet of wine. She took a brief swallow, then passed it to Xena, who gratefully accepted it and downed the rest in a single gulp. They lay together for a while longer, the bard continuing to stroke Xena’s hair, the warrior tracing back and forth along Gabrielle’s thigh.

A time later, Gabrielle kissed the warrior’s head and spoke softly. "Thank you Xena."

The warrior sniffled. "For what?"

"For everything. For the fire, for the wine. For letting me stay with you, even when I must be a real burden sometimes." Gabrielle sniffled lightly, stroked the raven hair. "And for loving me. And for … letting me in like that." Gabrielle pressed her lips against the top of Xena’s head again, let it linger. "I know that must have been … hard."

Xena paused for a moment. "It was," she admitted. "It was also … It was important."

Gabrielle chuckled in spite of herself. She held her warrior closer. "Gotta admit Xena, you really know how to talk to a girl."

The warrior raised an eyebrow, then sighed. "All right. How about ‘intense’? How about ‘wonderful’?" She paused, then said, slowly, "That’s … never happened before."

"Uh, Xena?" Gabrielle started, honestly puzzled for a moment. "I mean, even I’ve managed it a few times. Even if, you know, I was alone for most of them … before tonight anyway…"

Xena snorted and slapped her bard’s thigh playfully. "I don’t mean that. I’ve had orgasms before, thank you." She shook her head, then took a breath. "I meant I’ve never … let someone else be in control. Just … gave in."

The warrior sat up, slipping an arm behind Gabrielle’s head, gently touching her lover’s face. "I’ve never trusted anyone like that, Gabrielle. I … I need you to know that." She paused. "Seems like I’ve always held something back, but I can’t with you … and I knew … that I couldn’t, and that…" She shut her eyes, "I know I’ve been cold with you sometimes, I … I think…"

Gabrielle gently placed her fingers over her warrior’s lips. "Shhh … It’s OK Xena. I know." She ran her hand over her lover’s jawline and smiled. "For the record, I was scared too. We’ve both done some dumb things. None of that matters now."

Xena smiled back. Leaning in, she kissed the smaller woman lightly. "I love you Gabrielle."

"I love you Xena," Gabrielle responded, raising her head and kissing her warrior back.

The kiss deepened, slowly grew more insistent. Their tongues sought each other, soon chased each other in a sensuous dance. Almost on its own, Xena’s thigh slid between Gabrielle’s, pressing against the surprising wetness there as the smaller woman moaned into her lover’s mouth.

"Hmmm," the warrior teased, flexing her muscled leg, "Right now though, would it be all right if I gave something back?"

Gabrielle gasped. "Uh-huh," was all she could manage.

Xena rolled fully on top of her wonderful lover, nudging her thighs apart until the warrior had her hips between them, felt the soles of Gabrielle’s feet pushing against her buttocks, pulling her in closer. Xena twisted her hips forward, pressing her mound onto Gabrielle’s, was rewarded by a low moan which she stifled with another kiss before raising her lower body slightly, then slipping an arm between them.

Many, many exquisitely heated minutes later, as Gabrielle arched and shuddered against Xena’s skillful lovemaking, the young woman deliberately stared into her lover’s eyes, sharing her release.

Sharing her surrender.

* * *

The morning found them where they began the night before. The two of them curled up together under the furs in front of the now dormant fireplace. They awoke at nearly the same time, a quick glance in each other’s eyes causing a fit of giggles neither could explain, followed by warm snuggling, then a light doze.

Later, somewhere in the corner of the room a bell tinkled quietly. Two pairs of eyes reluctantly opened, then fastened on each other – the green ones curious, the blue ones resigned.

"Told Thesocles to have someone ring us around mid-morning," the warrior explained. "Said if we didn’t ring back to just not bother." The green eyes held their curiosity. Xena shrugged. "I thought breakfast, maybe a bath … seemed a good idea at the time."

Gabrielle smiled. "Actually, yeah, I guess it is. I could um, use a little something to replenish my energy … Gods know you pretty much sucked – Uh, that is, sapped me dry…"

Xena grinned, holding her bard closer as she raised her own leg slightly. "I dunno about that … seems like you’ve still got a little moisture tucked away there…"

Startled at the contact, Gabrielle knew she should blush brighter than the dawn, but somehow all she did was groan and roll her eyes – along with her hips. "I’m saving that for later," she quipped, then kissed her warrior firmly on the lips before sitting up. "Come on – I could use breakfast and…" She sniffed experimentally. "A bath wouldn’t be a bad thing either … Although…" She sniffed again. "Hmm … that’s…"

The warrior raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Gabrielle shook her head. "Nothing."

Grinning, Xena looked away, then shrugged slightly and turned back. "Um, Gabrielle? You remember asking a while back about how it was different with other women?"

Now the young woman did blush. "Um, let me guess … the way it smells the next morning is one of them?"

"You got it," the warrior nodded idly, unable to stop grinning if she tried. Gods it’s been a while, Xena chuckled to herself, then stretched and gave an uncharacteristically happy sigh. But even then it wasn’t like this. It’s never been like this. And the last time was… Her brows furrowed. Marcus. Of course, he was dead by then. Not his fault he wasn’t in top form. She chuckled bitterly. Oh yeah, then I got pretty close with Ulysses – why’d I do that anyway? The answer was quicker than she expected. That’s easy – after almost losing Gabrielle and nearly going blind you were on edge and crazy with wanting her, then wouldn’t admit it and fastened on him because he was handy … Hades, Palaemon was lucky Vidalis had the hots for him, or it could’ve been him. Plain dumb, that was. Any more mistakes in there? Oh yeah big warrior, plenty: What about big ol’ dependable Hercules? Practically threw yourself at him, but in the end we both left each other hanging, didn’t we? Served you right though, for treating nice little Iolaus like that. And while you’re at it, why not go waaay back – can’t ever forget about leaving Lao Ma high and dry, as they say…

"Xena?" a tiny, insistent voice called. "Xena, you OK?"

The warrior opened her eyes, met a sea of green she wished nothing more than to lose herself in. "I’m all right," she answered, reaching out to touch her lover’s face. "I’m very all right … now." She smiled. "Stuck in the past for a moment. Nothing new."

Gabrielle knelt down, smiling back. "Someone told me once to never forget the past but learn from it, and never regret the present, because together they shape who we become in the future." She ran her fingers through her warrior’s hair, then gave a self-deprecating grin. "OK, so it sounded good at the time."

Xena chuckled. "Well, I sure as Helios can’t forget my past." She pulled her lover into a tight embrace. "And I don’t regret a moment of my present. Guess I just have to hope my future stays this good."

"It will Xena, if I have anything to do with it," Gabrielle assured, kissing her lightly. "Now come on, let’s get some breakfast," she grinned wickedly. "’Cause I do want some energy for later."

"And if I have anything to do with that," Xena grinned back, brushing her knuckle down her bard’s nose playfully, "you’ll need it. Go on – I think the bell rope is over in the corner."

Breakfast was quiet and surprisingly playful. They fed each other in between smiles and light caresses, neither feeling the need to say much at all. They followed the meal with a bath, gratefully lowering themselves into the steaming water of the room’s sunken tub, scrubbing each other a little too carefully and sensually, which led to another round of kisses, which led to even more.

It was by turns careful and slow, then heated and rushed – Gabrielle’s fierce passion once again surprising the warrior as the taller woman found herself being lifted up out of the bath and sprawled back on the tile, the strawberry blonde head dipping between her legs when the bard’s need to taste her lover again simply wouldn’t be denied. Xena bit her lip. Gods she learns fast, she thought wickedly, but then her mouth and tongue are the tools of her profession … Gods, what a bard… was her last clear thought as she raised her hips, simply giving herself over to the young woman’s loving attention, losing herself in the sheer pleasure and joy of it without a single care.

When Xena had recovered enough to slide back into the water and Gabrielle’s arms, she then surprised herself by starting again, taking her time. Wrapped in each other, bard and warrior moved together towards an easy, mutual climax that left them both feeling satisfied, warm, and very, very loved.

"Hmm," Gabrielle quipped a short while later, seated in Xena’s lap and examining their intertwined fingers, "I think maybe it’s time we vacated this tub, my Warrior Raisin."

Xena raised an eyebrow, but glanced at their hands as well. "Yeah, good plan."

After toweling each other dry, Xena stoked the fire again, and they once more snuggled together on the furs. The warrior stared into the crackling flames, her arms around Gabrielle’s shoulders with the bard reclined warmly against her chest. Xena rested her chin on the top of the strawberry blonde head, breathing in the wonderful scent of her lover’s clean hair. "Are you … happy, my bard?"

"Very," Gabrielle sighed. "I’m going to remember this moment, this room, the look in your eyes, for as long as I live. When I started traveling with you I thought I was the luckiest woman in the world. Now, I know I am." She turned her head around, kissed her warrior lightly. "And you, love? Are you happy?"

Xena watched the fire thoughtfully for a moment, then looked down into her lover’s eyes. "Yes," she whispered, "I really am. I don’t remember ever feeling this … content."

"Well," Gabrielle said warmly, "I think you deserve a little contentment."

Xena smiled. "Ah Gabrielle, when I’m with you I can believe it too…" Admit it Xena, you’ve fallen hard … and you love every minute of it. Their lips met once again, gentle kisses becoming more passionate as the warrior lowered her arms, caressing the soft swell of Gabrielle’s breasts, loving the feel of the nipples growing hard against the palms of her hands.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

* * *

Solari tapped her foot, as much nervous as she was impatient. She’d found the room earlier, then had been stopped just at the brink of knocking by a series of loud moans from within, audible even through the heavy oak panels. Gods you two, it’s well into the afternoon here – give it a rest will ya? She’d puttered around the courtyard for a while, then came back and listened very closely before finally rapping her knuckles against the wood. Hope they’ve finished, she chuckled to herself. I’d hate to wind up gutted because I interrupted a certain Warrior Princess at the um, wrong moment.

A spare minute later, the door opened and the Amazon was confronted by all six feet of said Warrior Princess, wrapped in a linen robe. "Yes?" Xena growled, cocking an eyebrow.

Solari held her ground. "Just making sure you’re both still alive," she responded, suppressing a smile. "We were getting worried our Queen might cross over from exhaustion."

Xena gave up the pretense, genuinely surprising the Amazon by rolling her eyes and breaking into the closest thing to a dopey grin Solari had ever seen on the warrior’s face. "Whatever," Xena glanced over her shoulder, then turned back to the Amazon and pushed the door fully open. "Come on in Solari," she said, walking back into the room and settling down at the table. "As you can see, your Queen is still among the living – though the gods only know how I managed…"

Gabrielle was tightening the sash of her own robe, blushing lightly at the last comment. "Hey Solari. What’s up?"

"Well, in case you’ve both somehow forgotten," the Amazon began, "you did call for a meeting this afternoon about dealing with the remaining mercenaries."

"Oh, is it afternoon already?" Xena replied with perfect seriousness, popping a grape into her mouth.

"Yes it is," Solari shot back with mock sternness. "And we all had a big argument over who would come up here and fetch you – wound up flipping dinars over it actually."

"So," the warrior raised an eyebrow, "does this mean you lost, or won?"

Solari shrugged, pulling on every lesson on Amazon stoicism she had ever learned to keep from giggling. "Won, in point of fact." She glanced around the room, trying not to be too obvious about it, taking in the clothes scattered over the floor and the volume of water that had been splashed out of the tub. Hera’s tits! And she had the gall to call me incorrigible, the Amazon mentally snorted, noting the undisturbed sheets. From the look of things, they never even made it to the bed.

Solari crossed her arms. "So, can we expect you in, say, half an hour or so?"

Xena smiled, nodded. "Yeah…" She glanced back at Gabrielle, who had walked up behind her chair and rested her hands on the warrior’s shoulders. "Actually, I have to drop by the armorer and see about getting my breastplate fixed – it is a one-of-a-kind, after all."

Gabrielle gave an impish grin. "Yeah, well, so are what it protects."

That earned her a raised eyebrow and a wicked grin as Xena covered one of the bard’s hands and squeezed it. "Wasn’t much help, was it?" she practically purred. "Worst danger they’ve been in since…"

Solari cleared her throat, rolling her eyes, suppressing a grin. "Uh, excuse me, but we have a job to do here?"

Xena shrugged, then smiled and kissed Gabrielle’s hand briefly. "Yeah, I guess we do." She turned back to the Amazon as the bard moved around the chair and seated herself in the warrior’s lap.

"You go ahead Solari," Gabrielle urged. "We’ll be along soon."

"A half hour," Solari warned, "or I come back here with the entire corps and we drag you down there – naked if we have to. Got it?"

"No problem," Gabrielle smiled back, settling an arm around the warrior’s shoulders, waving with the other. "See you then."

The Amazon huffed and walked out, pointedly leaving the door open. As she headed down the corridor however, she distinctly heard her Queen give a loud, giggling yelp, followed by the door slamming shut.

Solari paused and stared at the ceiling, half seriously pondering whether thirty-five Amazon warriors would actually be enough to separate those two if it came down to it. Probably, she decided, but casualties would be unacceptably high… She mentally shrugged. "OK, they’ve got a half hour," she muttered, but grinned as she continued down the hall. "Guess what they do with it is their business."

By the time she reached the courtyard, she was laughing out loud. "I am truly sorry, my Queen," she said to herself in between belly laughs, "but after I get back to the Nation, you will never live this down."

The caravan left Kesan early the following morning. A smiling Thesocles and his entourage saw them off at the city gates, politely declining any payment or gifts. "Meleager served this city well," the old councilor explained. "Our defenses would never have been this secure without him. It’s a debt we can never fully repay. Any friends of his are friends of the city – especially such a … charming group of holy women," he chuckled. "I bid you peace on your journey. Kesan welcomes any of you whenever you wish to return."

Xena couldn’t help glancing at her bard. "Might just take you up on that sometime."

Thesocles grinned and winked up at the warrior. "I’ll keep the room open for you – in fact, I invite you to spend every anniversary here. It would be an honor to host Amazon royalty."

Gabrielle blushed, but Xena just smiled. "Thanks," the warrior replied, "I’ll keep it in mind."

"We’ll both keep it in mind," the bard added. "Although we’re not married," she cleared her throat, "yet." Xena rolled her eyes, smiled, looked away.

"Speaking of Amazons," Solari spoke up. "I have to admit, we’ve taken a shine to this place. Thank you Thesocles, for making us feel welcome – not many do."

The old man smiled. "Believe it or not, you’ve all been much less trouble than some – and I know Kero’s son wouldn’t mind having you back."

Solari laughed. "Found out about that, huh?"

Thesocles shrugged. "It pays to keep informed."

"Well," Solari grinned, "if – and I mean if – he’s still unattached when I get a chance to pass by here again, tell him he’d better be ready, because…"

"Thanks Thes," Meleager broke in, smiling at his old ruler, squeezing his shoulder as they shook hands. "It felt damn good to stay here for a while – like old times."

"Actually," Thesocles shook his head, grinning, "it was much more peaceful than old times, as I recall them anyway."

Meleager chuckled. "Hey, speak for yourself."

Thesocles chuckled back. "Yes, yes, I heard about your daring raid – risking life and limb and all that." He leaned in, whispering, "Sobriety suits you, young man. Proud of you for getting back on the right track."

The aging warrior smirked. "Aw Thes, I think you’re one of the few people in the Known World who could call me a young man. But thanks."

Thesocles nodded, smiling. He gestured with his head slightly, still whispering, "Listen, you and the High Priestess, you’re an item?"

Meleager gave an embarrassed, "Yeah."

"You’re a lucky man Meleager," the councilor assured. "Let her know that sometime, huh? You always were bad about that sort of thing." Then he stood straight again, announcing loudly, "An easy road to you Meleager, and to those who travel with you. May the gods favor you all. Take care."

The caravan resumed its journey west. The day before it had been agreed that the main danger from slavers was likely over. Crossing the Bosphorus had been the obvious part of the route, but after that no one outside the group knew where they were headed, which made further random ambushes improbable. And when word began to spread of what had happened to as large a force as Stophacles had put together, it would be even less likely.

The main threat now was a band of mercenaries who were no doubt bent on simply massacring them all. Still, there was nothing for it but to continue traveling as before, trusting the scouts to spot the enemy in time. The route had been altered slightly, taking a narrower road which kept them surrounded by dense forest, a terrain which favored Amazon training. It meant slower going, but would be somewhat safer.

Gabrielle was by turns distracted and frustrated. She and Xena had spent the better part of the last two days being constantly together, and much of that time spent making love. Yet far from helping to sate the passion which had grown inside her over the last couple of years, Gabrielle found it only made it worse. The things she and Xena had done together had fueled her imagination about other things they might try – some quite romantic, others downright naughty – and while she tried to stay focused, her mind was constantly wandering.

The worst thing, she realized, was there was no practical way to be with Xena as they traveled – the warrior was constantly riding off to check on various reports or to scout ahead herself. As the caravan halted for the noon meal, the two of them had managed to find a little time for themselves, but that was brief and not terribly private.

Gabrielle groaned. "Gods Xena, this isn’t fair. All I want is to be with you…"

"I know," the warrior soothed, an arm draped around her bard’s taught shoulders as they reclined together against a tree. "I feel the same way, but we have other things to think about right now."

"But it’s so hard to…" Gabrielle groaned again. "I mean, it’s like discovering a new continent or a third arm or something. Every time I see you I can’t think of anything else … merciful Artemis, even when I’m don’t see you I can’t think of anything else."

Xena smiled. "It’s not exactly easy for me either." She kissed the top of the strawberry blonde head. "Look, three or four more days and we’ll be in Lilith’s valley, then we’ll be by ourselves again. We’ll take some time off somewhere, see if we can … well, work some things out."

"Like what?" Gabrielle asked, with just a hint of apprehension.

"Like you, me, and this life we have together," Xena replied slowly. "Constant danger and love, remember?" She squeezed her bard a little tighter. "Look, now is not the time. Just know that I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you, and that means figuring out how to make that last as long as possible, for both of us, all right?"

Gabrielle looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yeah," she nodded, "I see what you mean."

The warrior stood, pulling her partner up with her. "Right now though, it’s time to get this caravan moving. We’ll be together tonight, all right? Keep Lilith company until then … and try to talk about something other than me?"

The bard rolled her eyes. "OK, I’ll try."

The warrior squeezed Gabrielle’s shoulder. "That’s my girl."

The bard took her warrior’s hand and kissed it. "Bet your chakram I am."

Xena grinned, then leaned in and said quietly and suggestively. "And Gabrielle, listen – if it gets really bad, I want you to know it’s all right with me if you grab one of the Amazons, or even one of the Guardians and, well…"

The bard’s eyes narrowed, and she asked suspiciously, "Yes?"

"Get in some staff practice," the warrior answered, lightly kissing Gabrielle on the nose. "A good workout always does wonders for me when I’m … tense."

The bard gave an exaggerated groan, then gave Xena a playful poke. "OK, OK … I admit, you got me."

Xena broke into a warm smile and stroked her lover’s hair. "I’d bet my chakram I do. Come on."

* * *

The sound of wood on wood reverberated through the small clearing. Gabrielle spun and swung the end of her staff at her opponent’s legs, only to have her strike neatly blocked. She countered instantly, rotating the staff around and attacking from the other side, then found her own feet going out from under her before she could connect.

Landing on the soft grass with a loud grunt, Gabrielle just lay back. "By all the gods," she gasped, "I swear you’re worse than Xena! Go easy on a simple village girl for a change, would ya?"

Lilith leaned on her own staff and smiled. "I believe it was you who said not to, young one."

Gabrielle raised her head. "That’s because you said you hadn’t used a staff in three hundred years. Augh," she groaned, laying her head back, "guess I should have expected it – ‘never forget the past’ and all."

The Priestess chuckled. "Actually, you have little to be ashamed of, Amazon Queen. Your technique is unconventional yet quite excellent. Perhaps in the future you should measure yourself against less … demanding opponents?"

Gabrielle looked at the sky, grinning. "Yeah well, I get plenty of chances with them too, but there’s only one person I really care about, um, besting."

Lilith smiled. "I believe in many ways you have already done so." The immortal looked thoughtful for a moment. "How are things between you, young one?"

The bard sat up, blushing lightly. "Better than I could’ve hoped for. Xena’s been … very giving." She looked away, her blush deepening. "I’ve only ever … been with one other person, so I guess I don’t have much to compare it to, but the things she does … what we do together … and she’s so soft … Uhhh, I get goosebumps, you know?"

Lilith smiled. "Pleasure given is pleasure shared, young Gabrielle. I have little doubt Xena feels the same. Any fears you have about not being adequate are quite groundless."

The bard blushed. "That did kind of worry me at first … guess it still does, kind of. Does it show?"

The immortal chuckled and shook her head. "Not exactly, but it is a common concern, and one I know well. All the priestesses and their acolytes – who are mostly priestesses in training – feel this fear at some point."

"Anything I can, um, do?" Gabrielle asked uncertainly. The bard was well aware that the High Priestess was almost unnaturally casual about the most personal of topics, which sometimes helped but was just as often intimidating in its own way.

Lilith cocked her head. "I have scrolls you may consult, if you wish, on various sexual techniques, styles and approaches. However, I have little doubt your own imagination will serve you well in that regard." The immortal smiled, then seemed suddenly thoughtful. "In truth, I think you have no need of anything more than you already possess."

"What’s that?"

"Love," Lilith replied, "and with this, openness, desire, and above all, trust. With these, no pleasure offered can ever fail to touch a lover’s heart, or bring joy to their body. Only that which is taken or demanded in selfishness can hurt or repel. Indeed, this is true of all things between lovers, and not merely in the coupling of physical bodies, but in their spirits as well. With these feelings shared, all things are possible."

Thinking about what had passed between herself and Xena, especially the time her warrior had broken down in tears made Gabrielle pause. She stared straight ahead for a moment, a sober expression on her face. "You know, we’re closer than we’ve ever been," she began slowly. "And … making love is wonderful, but I know there are parts of her I … I can’t reach, and maybe never will." She sighed. "But I have to keep trying. I love her too much to do anything else."

Lilith nodded, sitting down next to the bard. "In my dark time, it took the unconditional love of the Goddess to heal me. In the ages since, I have at times spent untold years lost to despair, believing only there was no clear path, no way to steer the world from its own darkness." One hand began gently caressing the younger woman’s back and shoulders. "And yet, always it is the love of another that has brought me back, showed me again why I must never lose hope." The Priestess caught Gabrielle’s eyes with her own. "Be her Goddess, young one. She will heal, in time."

Gabrielle brushed her hair back. "Sometimes I wonder if I can be that strong. I’m no hero."

Lilith draped an arm across the bard’s shoulders and pulled her close. "Ah but you are, Gabrielle," the immortal said softly. "You most certainly are. There is a depth to you I have rarely seen, a core of selflessness and wisdom that spreads such peace and joy to those you touch."

"Well, for someone so wise I can be awfully stupid." Gabrielle sighed. "You know how many times I’ve gotten us into trouble? How many times I’ve been in the wrong place, or said the wrong thing?" She blinked back a tear, turned to meet Lilith’s eyes. "I was married once, did I tell you that? It was a really dumb thing to do, but I did it anyway, and it got him killed. And then I watched Xena die because I was too weak to get her to Niklio fast enough. I know it wasn’t my fault she got hurt but that never makes me feel better – next time it could be."

Lilith sighed. "Gabrielle, there are many kinds of heroes, and while some fight with force of arms, darkness is often fought best by those who never hold a weapon. Some counsel with words, others simply lead with the fullness of their hearts, and I tell you true that you are one of the most important. Trust in your heart and it will always be so." The immortal smiled. "And never confuse inexperience with a lack of wisdom, young one. True enough, you have much to learn on this path, yet so does Xena in her way, and so even do I in mine. A life, no matter how long, is never truly complete, for there is always something yet to be discovered."

Gabrielle sighed, but she smiled back. "Guess I should know better than to argue with you, huh?" She pressed her head against the immortal’s shoulder. "Thank you Lilith. You’re a good friend."

"As are you Gabrielle … and that is a truly precious thing." She gave the bard’s shoulders one last squeeze. "But now I think we should make haste to catch the caravan, yes?"

"Yeah," Gabrielle chuckled. "I’ve been sitting around too much the last week or so – want to jog?"

The Priestess stood, smiling. "As you wish."

* * *

The caravan had stopped for the night, and Xena, as usual, was taking first watch. Gabrielle hid her disappointment as the two of them parted for a few hours more, taking solace in her warrior’s obvious disappointment as well – in fact, Xena’s open feelings surprised and touched her.

"I just wish this were over," Xena sighed as they hugged each other a temporary goodbye.

The weight of her words was not lost on the bard. Redemption. "I’ll be here Xena," Gabrielle assured her partner. "When you get back tonight, and forever, understand?"

The warrior smiled, looking into her companion’s loving eyes. "You really have no idea how much that means to me, Gabrielle." Her smile grew rueful. "When I get back though, we should talk – it’s nothing bad," she added quickly, "I’m not having second thoughts. It’s not like that at all, but my life is … complicated, and…"

"Our life is complicated," Gabrielle corrected her, chiding. "Now will you just kiss me and go do your job?"

Xena chuckled and shook her head. "Sure thing … boss."

The kiss was quick but no less heartfelt, and with a final embrace, the warrior walked off through the trees. Gabrielle took a moment to collect herself. Merciful Artemis, she sighed, I just hope I get used to that … I can’t go swooning every time we have to say goodbye for a couple of hours. Then again…

Gabrielle made her way to the central fire, but found it strangely deserted except for Meleager and Svetla. "Hey Meleager," she waved. "Where um, is everyone?"

"Oh, hi Gabrielle," the aging warrior started. "They’re all off doing some priestess thing or another. Have to anoint five new ones to replace the ones who stayed with the Amazons – twenty-four being twice the phases of the moon or some mystic thing like that. Lots of extra scrolls to dig out and memorize and whatnot. Started while we were in Kesan. Xena’s on watch?"

"Yeah," Gabrielle nodded, sitting herself down. "Hey, Svetla," she said, addressing the slim blonde, "are there any of those layered pastries left – you know, the honey and tahini ones?"

"Want something for your warrior when she gets back?" Svetla replied, winking.

Gabrielle blushed in spite of herself, then just nodded. The slim blonde was one of the camp’s … well, Gabrielle hesitated to call them "servants", but they helped with the cooking, cleaning, and other day-to-day tasks. As they traveled, Svetla had been one of Gabrielle’s most faithful audience members as the bard told her nightly stories. Afterwards, when Gabrielle hadn’t remembered to store something away or it had simply been inconvenient, she’d always been able to count on Svetla for the odd sweet leftovers. Gabrielle hadn’t guessed the blonde had known who they were for.

Then again, it seems like everyone knew it before we did. "It’s OK, Svetla…" she began, standing up, hating the thought of anyone doing something for her she could do herself.

"No, no," Svetla said with a wave of her hand. "Please, just make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back."

Gabrielle took a step forward. "Svetla…"

"Gabrielle, you are a Queen," she smiled back. "This is good for me … Just let me enjoy it?"

Gabrielle couldn’t help blushing a little more. "Go on." The bard resumed her place in front of the fire next to Meleager, and for a time, they both just stared into the flames.

Finally, the bard couldn’t help talking. "Love is great, isn’t it?"

"Yeah," Meleager replied without thinking. Then he blustered. "I guess … I mean, I don’t know much about it."

"Me neither," Gabrielle replied evenly. "But I do know one warrior who can fit it into her life – all the gods know it wasn’t easy to get her to admit it, but she did. So what’s holding you back?"

"Gabrielle…" he began.

"I mean, I’m just sort of curious," the bard continued, staring into the flames and ignoring his response. "What exactly is it you’re waiting for? You know she loves you – you’re even sleeping together. What were you planning on doing anyway? Get them to the valley and then ride off into the sunset?"

"Something like that," Meleager replied curtly. "I’ve got things to do, you know? The whole ‘helping people out thing’? I spent too long looking at the world from inside a bottle – it’s time I got back out there."

The bard looked up at the aging warrior. "Meleager," she said quietly, "how many years do you think you have left? Do you really want to spend them alone, then die somewhere on a battlefield with no one to care?"

He sighed, shrugged. "That’s the path I chose Gabrielle. I knew what I was getting into – Hades, some days I’m surprised I lasted this long."

"Which is why you should maybe quit while you’re ahead," the bard replied. "You’ve already done the world a lot of good Meleager. I heard the stories growing up. You were my hero, remember? Not a half god like Hercules, or showered with gifts from them like Jason. Just a man who put his life on the line for the greater good."

He blushed slightly. "Well, I never really thought about it like that."

"I think the world owes you one," Gabrielle smiled. "What’s so bad about wanting to be happy?"

"Hades, Gabrielle," Meleager grunted, "it’s just not that … simple."

"Meleager," Gabrielle began, trying to keep her frustration from showing, "how is it complicated? She loves you, you love her. Just take her in your arms and say something like, ‘I love you Lilith, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.’ It should be easy."

He shook his head. "Look Gabrielle, it’s just … Sooner or later I rub everyone the wrong way. I’ve never had a relationship that didn’t end badly, no matter how good it started. So, after a while, I just, kind of … quit trying. I don’t want her to get hurt, or watch her … grow to hate me. I’d rather just take what I can get and have a lot of fond memories to look back on, OK?"

Now we’re getting somewhere. She put an arm around his shoulders. "Warriors! I’ll never understand them," she chided, chuckling softly. "You’d rather charge single-handed into an army of barbarians than risk getting your heart broken. Listen up, Meleager the Mighty – Xena thought it was worth trying again, and most of her relationships ended with someone getting killed, or her almost being killed. For that matter, so have mine. If we can do it, you don’t have much of an excuse."

Meleager pursed his lips and gave her an annoyed look. "You’re not going to let this go, are you?"

"Let’s just say I have a tough time seeing someone I care about miss a chance at being happy."

He grunted, then sighed, looking at his hands. "OK," he said quietly, nodding. "OK. Three days at most and we’ll be in the valley. I’ll uh … I’ll make up my mind by then."

Continued...Part 6 of 6

Return to The Bard's Corner