Jamie really had to pound it to catch her mischievous partner, but she finally tracked her down about four miles outside of the lunch stop. The blacktop of Highway 101 was beginning to heat up, and the temperature was rising quickly. Ryan had shed her jacket and Jamie had to consciously slow her heart down when she saw her in her new sleeveless jersey. It was a bright orange with vivid yellow designs that looked like little whirlpools. It flared just a bit where it skimmed the waistband of her shorts, accentuating her thin waist. Jamie intentionally lagged a bit to watch her muscles move as she pedaled up a slight incline. In addition to her recent discovery that she was most definitely a breast woman, Jamie had been surprised to discover that she was a back woman as well, and, luckily for her, Ryan had the nicest back she had ever seen. Every one of the muscles was fully developed and they popped out when they were under stress. But even with the impressive musculature, the back was not at all bulky looking; it was sleek, and firm, and taut when stressed, but when relaxed it felt smooth and soft. Jamie thought that it was Ryan's best feature, but she decided that she should reserve judgment until she had seen all of the assets properly displayed. She started to let her mind wander to their upcoming honeymoon, but her reverie was interrupted by the lunch pit stop.

They were pleased beyond words to have the crew misting them with cool water as they pulled in for their meal. Ryan spotted a man she knew, and took Jamie over to say hi. She greeted him warmly and introduced Jamie. "Jason, I want you to meet my partner, Jamie." She went on to explain that she had met Jason and his lover, Eric, when they were part of her training group for AIDS Ride 4. She looked around as she asked, "Where is Eric?"

"He's riding solo this morning. He should be along soon, though. Have a seat and join us for lunch," he offered.

Ryan looked a little confused, but she sat down and waited for further explanation. Just then a woman approached, holding her lunch bag in one hand. Her other hand was encased in a substantial cast. "Ryan, Jamie, this is Ellen. She's riding with me this morning, and Eric is on her bike."

Ryan looked at her wrist with a questioning glance and Ellen explained, "I took a tumble yesterday and landed right on my wrist. I fractured it, but the medical team got it casted for me. It didn't feel too bad today, so the crew helped me find all the tandem riders, and they all agreed to let me take a shift on the back where I don't have to use my wrist. Jason took the first shift; I think it went pretty well. What did you think Jason?"

"I think I'm going to trade you for Eric permanently," he laughed. "You pedal just as hard, but you're a lot lighter."

They enjoyed their lunch together, exchanging stories of the ride and little things they had seen. Jamie snapped a few pictures as they prepared to leave, then they rode through the cool mist one last time.

It was quite warm now, and as they went up a small hill, Ryan unzipped her jersey. The deep zipper stopped just above her navel and it clearly exposed her yellow sports bra to Jamie's very interested eyes. The vision of the dark woman straining as she pedaled up the hill, sweat flying from her body, and all of that luscious, exposed, tanned skin was almost too much for Jamie's heart to take. She forced herself to take the lead for the first time all day, just to regain her focus.

As they pulled into pit stop four Jamie noticed a man pulling a little child carrier, just like Caitlin's. "Ryan, can you bring a child on this ride?" she asked, rather dumbfounded.

"No, he's not carrying a child, Jamie. He pulls that empty carrier as a memorial to all of the children who've died of AIDS. See the little 'Positive Pedaler' flag on the back of the carrier?" she asked, indicating the flag that some people with AIDS displayed.

"Oh, Ryan, that's so sad," Jamie said, her eyes welling up with tears.

Ryan just slipped her arms around her and held her for a few minutes. "So much loss," she said quietly as she shook her head.

After their stop they rode in reflective silence until they reached the last stop of the day, Mission San Miguel Archangel. Located just twelve miles out of camp, this beautiful 200-year-old church had been beautifully restored and lovingly maintained by the Franciscan Friars. The friars had generously offered their grounds for the pit stop and had even set out hoses for riders who wanted to cool down. After they sat in the shade for a while, forcing fluids, Ryan said that she needed some time to go into the church. She didn't ask Jamie to accompany her, so the blonde remained outside to stretch her back on the shady ground. After a good fifteen minutes had passed, Jamie went in to the gift shop to buy some postcards. She peeked into the church and saw Ryan, deep in thought, sitting on a chair in front of an imposing statue. It dawned on Jamie that it must be a statue of St. Michael, and that Ryan's late cousin must have been named after him. She paid for her cards and went back outside, leaving Ryan to her prayers. After another 15 minutes, she went inside to check on her partner.

Ryan was in the exact position she had been in earlier. She was sitting in a straight-backed chair that she had pulled up in front of a very large marble representation of a battle-clad-angel who held a massive sword against the neck of the groveling devil that was curled up at his feet. She was leaning forward, with her torso braced by her elbows, which rested on her thighs. Head slightly bowed, eyes closed. Moving to her side, Jamie gently placed her hand on Ryan's dark head and pulled it against her hip. Ryan nuzzled against her, indicating her acceptance of the touch. "Mind if I join you?" the smaller woman asked softly.

"Please," Ryan nodded, opening her eyes to gaze at her partner.

"Feel like talking?"

Her bottom lip stuck out for a moment as she considered her answer. A short nod followed and even though that wasn't a rousing 'yes,' it was enough to assure Jamie that she wasn't interfering.

"I was just thinking how ironic it was," Ryan said as she turned her gaze back to the statue.

"How ironic what was, Honey?"

"How ironic it is that I feel his spirit so strongly here," she related after a moment. Turning to Jamie she explained, "He was no fan of the Church."

"Really?"

"Really," Ryan said clearly, smiling a little at her memories. "I was still a kid when he died, but I recall him talking about it quite a lot—especially in his last year."

"What did he say?" Jamie asked, wanting to share some of Ryan's memories.

"I think he held back a little with me, to tell you the truth," she recalled. "I was still in choir and I was an acolyte so I was really connected, and I think he was afraid of harming my relationship with the Church.

His father, my Uncle Charlie, couldn't come to terms with Michael's sexual orientation. They fought—a lot—and it made the whole situation so much worse. My uncle was very old school about religion. He had been taught that homosexuality was a sin and he was not going to let Michael die without doing his best to get him to repent. But Michael didn't buy into that at all. After a particularly nasty fight one afternoon, he looked at me and said, 'Ryan, I always want you to remember that God loves you just the way he made you.'"

"That's sweet," Jamie said. "Do you think he knew…about you?"

"Oh yeah," she laughed. "He never said anything, of course, but I was a baby dyke from the time I was in diapers. Anybody who was sensitive to gay kids would have known. But he said something else that day. He said, 'God is with you everywhere, Ryan, although he seems to be mysteriously absent in the Catholic Church.' "

"Hmm," Jamie mused. "Do you think he grew disenchanted with the Church when he discovered he was gay?"

"No, I think it was before that. Actually, I'm sure of it," she related. "He was a very bright guy, very much into philosophy and theology. Theology was actually his major in college. He kept a journal from the time he was 16 or so, and a couple of years ago Aunt Maeve let me read them. Wow," she said with a laugh. "He was more than a little disenchanted, but it got worse when he came out, and much worse when he contracted AIDS. He thought the Church was a willing participant in the genocide of gay men worldwide because of its rigid stance against using condoms. Plus he was angry with the Church for refusing to ordain women, not allowing birth control, and a dozen other issues."

"That does sound like he was more than a little disenchanted," Jamie laughed softly. "Did his feelings influence you?"

"No, not at the time," she mused. "I needed the security of the Church at that point in my life. And Michael was usually very gentle in his criticism around me. By the time I read his journals, I had reached my own conclusions," she smiled. "My feelings now closely follow his, but I still enjoy going to Mass. I just look at it in a different light now."

"Tell me how you look at it?" she asked, intensely curious.

Ryan grew pensive for a few minutes. When she spoke again she turned to Jamie and related, "Now I view going to church as a chance to be with other people who are seeking some spiritual answers. I like singing the songs, and the prayers are nice too. It makes me feel very connected to our ancestors," she mused. "I sometimes get an image of prehistoric man, trying to make some sense out of his life, looking to the stars or the moon or whatever it was that they worshiped. I don't think we've made much progress from that point, to tell you the truth," she laughed. "But it's somehow reassuring to be with other people who are trying to answer some of their own existential questions."

"So you don't feel like a Catholic?" she asked.

"I would have to say that I believe about one percent of what the Church considers dogma, so I'm sure the Church doesn't consider me Catholic," she explained. "But it is the faith of dozens of generations of O'Flahertys and Ryans, so I feel culturally Catholic."

"Did you make that term up?" she asked as she patted Ryan's leg.

"Probably," she admitted. "Some people refer to 'Cafeteria Catholics' as the people who pick and choose which parts of the faith they believe. But I believe so few of them that I'm basically fasting!"

"But it doesn't bother you to go to Church, given how you feel about it?"

"No, not really. I actually enjoy myself most of the time. It feels very familiar and usually quite reassuring. I like to recall my childhood, when I believed every word. It was a very peaceful feeling, and going to Mass sometimes lets me recapture that."

"I want to go with you sometime," she offered.

"I'd love to take you," Ryan stated as she gave her a very generous hug. "Thanks for coming to get me." A shy grin crossed her face as she squeezed Jamie's thigh. "It helped."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

After the stop Ryan seemed in a much lighter mood, and they tossed teasing comments back and forth as they rode the last 12 miles. Jamie would occasionally try to zoom ahead, putting on as much speed as she could generate. Of course Ryan could easily best her, no matter how concerted her efforts. But the effort was always worthwhile when Ryan passed her, pedaling furiously, her muscled rear high off the seat, twitching with effort. Mmmm, maybe that's my favorite body part, Jamie thought as Ryan blew past one more time.

They pulled into the Mid-State Fairgrounds in Paso Robles just before two p.m. This was considerably earlier than they had finished the previous two days, and they decided to shower and nap before dinner. Jamie showered first, as had become custom, while Ryan set up camp. After her shower, Ryan slipped on a white tank top and a pair of vivid blue print running shorts. When she returned to the tent she tried to quietly crawl in to join her lover, whom Ryan expected to be sound asleep. She was a little surprised, but enormously pleased, to find her wide awake, wearing only a light blue cotton tank top and matching panties. She was lying on her side, her elbow firmly planted, her head resting on her open hand. "Hi," she said in a sultry tone as she wiggled one eyebrow.

Ryan was a bit taken aback, but she rallied quickly, assuming a similar tone. "Hi, yourself. You look like something's on your mind, " she said as she crawled up right next to her partner, mirroring her pose.

"Something is," Jamie replied with a small nod and a gentle smile. "Wanna guess what it is?" she asked as she started to trace light patterns on Ryan's arm.

"I think I have a pretty good idea," Ryan purred as she closed her eyes to soak in the sensation.

"Tell me," Jamie teased as she continued to play with Ryan's sensitized skin.

"I think you want to move our honeymoon up a few days," Ryan finally replied, as she shivered involuntarily at the delicate touch.

That response seemed to jolt Jamie back into reality. She shook her head a little as she moaned, "God, Ryan I don't know what I want! I mean, I know what I want, and I really want it now. I really, really want it now. I...I...I've just never felt like this. Sleeping with you at night and waking up in your arms just makes me want to touch you...everywhere," she said shyly. "I think about it all day long," she groaned as Ryan moved closer and cradled her in her arms.

"Shhhh, it's okay, Jamie. It's okay," she said soothingly, as she lightly patted her back.

"I just feel so confused," she mumbled into Ryan's chest. As she pulled her head back, she added sternly, "And you're not helping matters in that tiny little outfit." As she ran her hands up and down Ryan's back she moaned again in frustration. "No underwear, either?!"

"I thought we were going to sleep," she replied innocently. "Would you like me to put some more clothes on?"

"No," she muttered, "you're a total hottie no matter what you're wearing."

"Um...I'm sorry?" Ryan teased.

Jamie looked at her seriously and finally asked, "Can you help me figure out what I want?"

"I think I can," she replied confidently. "Let's go back to when you decided you wanted to wait until our vacation. Why did you want to wait?"

Jamie looked a little embarrassed, but she gamely replied, "I know it's kind of silly. But I've built this up in my mind, and I really want it to be special. Does that make any sense to you?" she asked timidly.

"Of course it does," Ryan said reassuringly. "This means a lot to me too, Jamie. I want to look back and remember our first time together for the rest of my life."

"So you don't think I'm just being silly about this?"

"Not at all," she said vehemently. "I want this to be an experience that will be burned into your memory."

"But what do you want, Ryan? I feel that all of our discussions about sex focus on my needs."

"To be honest, when you first told me of your feelings I was worried that it would be too hard for me to wait. I mean, I had been with Tracy for three months by then, and I was really getting twitchy," she gave a little embarrassed chuckle. "But I think waiting has really been good for me. With Tracy I wasn't sure of my feelings, so I was pulled in both directions. But with you, I'm absolutely certain that you're the woman for me." She sat up to better organize her thoughts. "This might sound weird, but it's been a little like Lent for me." Jamie gave her a quizzical grin, encouraging her to go on. "During Lent you deny yourself some things that you like, and you really try to focus on the important lessons of the season. With you, I've had to deny myself some things I really, really like." Here she laughed a bit. "But that self-denial has made me focus on my feelings for you outside of the sexual arena. I know that I'm more in love with you than I was in March. And I really think that keeping our relationship less sexual has helped those feelings blossom." Now she leaned in and wrapped her arms around Jamie again as she whispered right into her ear. "Even though I want you with a passion that I've never felt for another human soul, I'm glad we waited."

"So, you agree that making love in a tiny tent in the middle of three thousand people isn't the most memorable setting?"

"It might be memorable," she grinned. "But I want the memories to be ours alone. I don't want our neighbors to remember our first time as well as I do."

"Well, you do have a point there," Jamie said as she listened to the people come and go in the surrounding tents. "Besides," she teased, "I'm kind of proud of being your first tent-mate on the AIDS Ride to resist your charms."

"Okay, you've got me there," she agreed happily. "Now can we take that nap?"

As they snuggled up together, Jamie abruptly sat up and asked, "You had sex with every other tentmate on the ride. Didn't people hear you?"

"Oh yeah," she said with a chuckle. "I always tried to wait until it was quiet, but I'll admit that I got a lot of knowing looks from my tent neighbors."

"But you don't want to do that with me?" she asked.

"No, definitely not," Ryan said firmly. "It was just sex with those women, and having people hear us was no big thing. Actually," she said with a rakish grin, "since my neighbors were usually guys, it was kind of a competition. I was just doing my part to show that lesbians like sex too!"

"That might be fun next year after we need a little spice," she said with a chuckle. "But right now I agree that some nice quiet romance is in order."

"Romance it is," she said with a few delicate nibbles of Jamie's tender neck. "But until then how about a nice quiet orgasm?"

"Not a bad idea," Jamie said, after a moment's thought. "Give me fifteen," she demanded, jerking her thumb in the direction of the tent opening.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

After her forced exile, Ryan crawled back in and snuggled up behind her physically satiated lover. When they awoke an hour later, Jamie was half sprawled across Ryan, with her thigh wedged between the long, muscular legs. Her right hand had strayed up under the white tank top, resting on her rib cage, just below a tempting breast. They laughed a bit at their position as Jamie said, "My subconscious has a mind of its own."

"I think I'm gonna like your subconscious," Ryan whispered in a sultry tone as she leaned in for a kiss.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

They were already waiting in line when dinner was served. Ryan was jiggling her foot and generally looking anxious for some minutes when the line began to move.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jamie asked.

"Yeah, I'm just really hungry. I normally eat a bigger lunch than we get here, and it's starting to catch up with me, I guess."

"Why don't you go back for seconds at lunch?"

"It's kind of a delicate balance. I need to get enough fuel, but if I eat what I normally do, I'd feel too heavy. So I just try to make sure I'm getting enough calories, even if I still feel hungry."

"You look like you've lost a couple of pounds," Jamie said as she ran her hand up Ryan's tummy. "Try to make sure you get enough tonight, okay? It's early enough so you'll have digested it before we go to sleep."

"I'll do my best," she happily agreed.

After Ryan had tucked away more chicken burritos, rice, beans and salad than Jamie thought possible, they went for another stroll around the campgrounds. They stopped by a group of UPS drivers who were still handing out gear bags to riders who had come in late. Jamie asked, "Are they volunteers, too?"

"Yep. Not only are all of the drivers volunteers, they take their personal vacation to do this. UPS donates the trucks, which is no small thing, but the drivers really make this ride happen. They cart all of the food and water to all the pit stops, and they transport all of the gear from site to site. It's really a remarkable contribution."

They continued on their little stroll, meeting a few of Ryan's old friends in the process. When they were at the farthest point of the campground, they found a quiet spot and grabbed a picnic table. "I really like how you introduce me as your 'partner'," Jamie said as she cuddled up against her partner's warm side.

"Well, since you're my first real significant other, I had to think about your title," she admitted. "Lover is way too one dimensional. Girlfriend doesn't sound serious or permanent enough. That left me with partner, mate, wife and spouse." She pursed her lips and cocked her head a little as she continued. "I kind of like spouse, and I really like mate. But they both seem more appropriate if we had a public commitment to each other. So partner seemed the best term for us right now. What do you think?" she asked.

"I think it is so sweet that you spend time thinking about things like this so carefully," Jamie replied as she wrapped her arms around Ryan's neck and kissed her soundly.

"I looked them all up in the dictionary," the grinning woman added with a hopeful little eyebrow wiggle.

"Then you clearly deserve more kisses," Jamie replied solemnly. When she was finished bestowing the reward, she asked, "Would you like to have a public commitment ceremony?"

"Absolutely," Ryan said decisively, clearly having given the issue some thought. "I'd like to tell every person I've ever known how much you mean to me." She placed a few sweet kisses upon her partner's lips as she added, "When we get back I'm going to write a long letter to my very traditional grandparents to tell them the good news."

"Do they know you're gay?" Jamie asked, realizing that Ryan rarely spoke of her Irish relatives.

"We've never formally discussed it, but I think my Aunt Moira may have indicated that I was. Neither of them has ever asked me a question about who I'm dating or if I'm going to get married, so they must know something, since my granny is always on the boys about it."

"How old are they?"

"My grandmother is 80 this year, and my grandfather is 85. They still live in the little town where my great-great-great grandfather was born. They're not very wise to the ways of the world, but my grandmother knows people. So I don't think they'll be overjoyed, but I think they'll come to accept it. My Aunt is very cool about it and all of my cousins know, so my grandparents can vent to them if it really bothers them."

"When did you see them last?"

"My Aunt and my cousin Aisling were here just last summer—about a month before you and I met. But my grandparents won't leave County Mayo for love nor money, so I last saw them two summers ago. I try to save up to go at least that often since they're getting up in years."

"So you should go this summer, huh?"

"Yeah, ideally I would, but I think I'm going to be terribly busy with a little blonde I know."

"Likewise, I'm sure," she said with a grin. "Did you go to Ireland often when you were young?"

"Yeah, I did. After my mother died, Da had a heck of a time keeping track of me during summer vacation. He enrolled me in every kind of sport, and gave me every kind of lesson to keep me busy, but summers were always hard for him. I always had too much time on my little hands, and I was always in some sort of trouble. So he would send me to my grandmother for anywhere from one to three months. I think he did it partly to give Brendan a break, actually," she laughed at the memory of her brother tracking her down all over the city.

"Wasn't it hard for you to leave your father for that long?" remembering how hard it was for her partner to say goodbye to Rory.

"Yeah," she reflected. "The first time I went was the summer after my mother died. That was tough, but Brendan went with me, which helped a lot."

"Wasn't there any other option?" she asked timidly, hating the thought of her tiny partner being sent away so soon after such trauma.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Jamie, I wanted to go," she said quickly. "It was my idea. My Aunt Moira was here a lot during my mother's last year, and I grew very close to her. And my cousin Aisling is my age, and it was cool to be around my only female cousin for a whole summer. Plus I think there was a bit of me that craved to be in my mother's country, in her childhood home, with her family. It made me feel closer to her somehow," she said with a small voice.

"I'm glad you could go," Jamie said softly as she draped an arm around her back. "But what did you do all summer?"

"Oh, lots of stuff. That first summer, both Brendan and I were pretty depressed. We spent a lot of time going through our mother's things that my grandmother had saved. It was sad in a way, but it let Brendan and me get closer. My mother was buried in the small church cemetery, and I made Brendan walk me down there every day, just to talk to her. My grandmother didn't like it, and she tried to dissuade us, but you know how determined I get," she said with a wry chuckle.

"That I do," she said fondly as she patted Ryan's back. "So what about subsequent years?"

"Well, Brendan was in high school the next summer, and he didn't want to go. Rory didn't want to miss a summer of music lessons, and Conor never had much interest in the small town life, so I went alone."

"God, you were only eight!"

"Yep. The plane ride was kinda scary, especially since I had to change planes in New York," she said with wide eyes.

"I thought they had rules about little kids flying alone!"

"Oh they do, but I looked twelve when I was eight and they didn't require I.D.," she said lightly. "The flight attendants kind of took to me, and they made sure I was okay. I had an escort to the connecting flight, so it was safe and everything."

"Jeez, that still must have been freaky!"

"Yeah, it was, but it taught me that you had to make some sacrifices to get what you want. I wanted to go, and I had to put up with some scary things to get there. I really have to hand it to Da for letting me go. It must have been hard for him, but I really wanted it, and he let me."

"So did you just play with your cousins all summer?"

"Ha! I wish! No such luck when my grandmother's in charge. I had to take Irish lessons every morning at the National school. Aisling took them with me, so it wasn't too bad, but those masters would not put up with any nonsense! The schoolmasters in Killala closely follow the 'children should be seen and not heard' dictum. Then we had to take Irish dance lessons three afternoons a week until we were in high school!"

"Irish dance?"

"Yep. Aisling would never have done that on her own, but Granny force-fed me Irish culture the whole time I was there. She always said she had to make sure I didn't turn into a heathen, which in her view, is anyone from outside County Mayo!"

"God, school every day! Did you have any fun?"

"Yeah, I got to play lots of sports. The competition was much better in soccer than I got here, so it really helped me as a player. Plus I got to play Irish football, which is kinda like soccer but you can use your hands. And when I was a little older, Aisling and I joined a hurling team, and that helped me with a lot of skills. I'd say that most of my skills as an athlete came from my time in Ireland," she reflected. "But it took months to get rid of my accent every year. I sounded like an immigrant until Christmas!"

"I bet your family was wild to have you back," Jamie said fondly.

"Oh, they were glad to have me back—for about a week," she laughed. "I ran them all pretty ragged, to tell you the truth."

"You really must have been a terror, Ryan," she said lovingly. "I can't imagine you with the energy of a little kid."

"It was frightening. Luckily, Da didn't think there was anything wrong with me. One of my teachers tried to convince him that I needed medication for my hyperactivity, but he told her I was just very high spirited, thank you very much."

"Good for him," Jamie said decisively.

"When I was ten, I switched from staying with my grandparents to staying with my Aunt. The last extended time I spent there was right after the debacle with Sara. I went for the whole summer that year, and believe me, I was a mess. I didn't have the guts to tell my aunt then, but I finally told her what had happened and she was totally great about it. She's been very supportive ever since. I know you'll like her," she said confidently.

"I like everyone who loves you, Ryan. That's the litmus test," she replied firmly.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

They walked back to the main stage to watch the evening's entertainment, settling down to watch as a very funny comic amused the crowd. Ryan was leaning back on her hands, and Jamie was nestled between her open legs with her head resting on her abdomen. Finally, she turned around and ordered, "Don't laugh so much, you're making me seasick."

Ryan put her index finger up to her lips, dramatically making the sign for quiet. But she was unable to keep her promise, and Jamie finally got up and sat next to her. After a minute she said, "Need more contact," and she scooted over behind Ryan to wrap her legs around her. Ryan leaned back against her chest, completely content, while Jamie slid her arms around her torso and leaned over to whisper, "Perfect."

Since everyone was already laughing non-stop, Jamie leaned over and began to tickle Ryan unmercifully. She had finally found two very sensitive spots on each side, about halfway between her waist and her armpits. Ryan writhed on the ground, trying to keep from screaming over the comedian, and Jamie finally relented. Ryan quickly got her revenge by stooping down and flinging her giggling partner over her shoulder, carrying her like a sack of potatoes over to the Porta-Potties for their last pit stop of the evening. Unbeknownst to them, every move they made was watched by a pair of very angry dark brown eyes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Just before dawn Ryan blinked her eyes open to the delightful sensation of being almost completely covered by Jamie's sleeping body. As she lay on her back, she reached down to run her fingers through the soft blonde hair that tickled her chin. Somehow, Jamie had wound up nestled between Ryan's spread legs, lying mostly on her side. The blonde head was resting on one plump breast, and her hand covered the other. Her hand twitched periodically, providing a nice gentle sensation that helped ease Ryan to full awareness. She softly stroked the golden head as she felt her begin to stir.

Jamie shivered and stretched as she slowly woke, looking up finally with a sly little grin on her sleep-creased face. "Do you think we make love while we sleep?"

"I think it's a distinct possibility," Ryan replied in her slightly raspy morning voice. "We do wake up in some pretty compromising positions."

"God! I wake up horny, I ride all day horny, I go to sleep horny. Then we roll around all night like bunnies, and I'm asleep! I miss all the fun!"

"Maybe this is the lesbian equivalent to wet-dreams, like we just have to let off some steam, so we touch while we're asleep."

"Speaking of dreams," Jamie said shyly, "have I told you about the dream I had on my birthday?"

"No, I don't remember you telling me about a dream that day."

"Oh, I wouldn't have told you then," she said with a blush.

"Oh...one of those kinds of dreams," Ryan mused as she nodded her head. "Do you want to tell me about it now?"

"Um...I don't think telling you about it in detail is a very good idea. I think I'd be too tempted to act it out," she admitted with a shy little glance up at Ryan. "Suffice it to say that it was the most erotic, sensual dream I had ever had in my life, and you, my love, were the featured player."

"How did you explain that to yourself? I mean, didn't it bother you that you were dreaming about a woman like that?"

"I have excellent powers of denial," she replied proudly. "I just convinced myself that seeing all the other women at the bar flirt with you put the idea in my mind. But I do remember feeling bad that I'd never gotten that hot with Jack." She looked up at Ryan with a crooked grin, "Do you think I had enough clues?"

"I think your mind just processes what it can handle, a little at a time. I really think it's a good thing that you can be in denial a little bit. It makes things less overwhelming for you."

"Speaking of overwhelming, we've got 95 miles to do today, so we'd better get shakin'," she said as she gingerly extricated herself from Ryan's body.

Ryan hopped up and started to get her gear ready. As she exited the tent, she looked over her shoulder with a sexy little smirk. "Don't forget your swim suit today. You might need it."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

They were both feeling pretty good and the first few miles were quick ones. The initially flat terrain quickly became a long succession of hills and mountains, all leading to the coast. After the first pit stop they turned onto Old Country Road. They rode up and down some quick little hills, but Jamie was surprised by the three-and-a-half-mile, very sharp, very steep downhill that ended in a treacherous hairpin curve. Even Ryan took her time on this one, keeping her speed under control, staying just in front of her lover. As they leveled out they passed the Whale Rock Reservoir. They hopped off their bikes and spent a few minutes just enjoying the magnificent view. Jamie asked another rider to take their picture, and she carefully posed Ryan sitting on top of one of the rocks, then climbed up and sat between her legs. Ryan draped her arms around her neck, and leaned forward so their cheeks brushed as they smiled for the camera.

A short time later they came to another steep hill. They fought their way up and were rewarded with the pit stop being at the top of the hill for a change. Every day the crew at pit stop two had a different theme. Today's was White Trash Trailer Park. Everyone was cross-dressed in truly tacky clothes, with cigarettes dangling from overly made up mouths.

After the stop they reached the largest of the morning hills. They climbed steadily and were greeted at the top by Scott, a famous AIDS Ride cheerleader. He had made a large sign that read, "Halfway To L.A." which he hoisted up every time a rider crested the hill. Jamie got out her camera and took a picture of Ryan standing next to Scott with the glistening blue Pacific in the background.

After another hilly 12 miles, they came to the lunch stop. It was located in the parking lot of a typical mini-mall. The grocery chain located there had provided fruit and other snacks as a generous donation, but the most amazing thing to Jamie was the large number of local residents who had come out just to greet them. Three little girls walked around shyly with plates of home made cookies for the riders. Their mother watched from a distance as the girls were fussed over by everyone they encountered. Ryan, of course, got down on her haunches and spoke to each of the girls, asking them how old they were and thanking them for their gifts. Jamie snapped a picture while Ryan wasn't looking, thinking that her little gesture captured her personality perfectly. As Ryan stood, a woman approached her, reached into her purse and handed her a wad of bills. Ryan's mouth dropped open as the woman said, "It's all I have, but you people are worth every dime," and she leaned over and gave Ryan a kiss on the cheek.

Ryan turned to Jamie, her mouth still open, and a stunned look on her face. Jamie helped her organize the money, and they found the crew chief to ask her to hold the donation until they could give it to the ride staff later at camp.

Ryan was still a bit dumbfounded by this unexpected gesture, and as they ate their lunch she said, "One thing this ride does for me every year is that it lets me store little things like that in my memory. When people are jerks or worse during the year, I pull one of these little events out and think about it. It always makes me feel better, and it reminds me that most people really are nice."

"I'm going to have a nice surplus of sweet memories, too," Jamie readily agreed.

Leaving lunch they headed back inland to San Luis Obispo, a lovely little town that Ryan sometimes stopped in for a break. But this year she had other ideas in mind. After leaving S.L.O. they headed back to the ocean, but the typical cool breeze was absent this calm day. It was beginning to warm up, and as they reached the outskirts of town, Ryan asked over her shoulder, "Would you like a little break?"

Jamie knew that all of Ryan's breaks included some form of pleasure, so she happily agreed. To her eternal satisfaction, this stop proved to be far more pleasurable than most. They exited onto Avila Beach Drive and rode for just a few blocks before Ryan signaled and turned into the Sycamore Mineral Springs Spa and Resort. Jamie's eyes anticipatorily widened in pleasure as she gamely followed her partner. She pulled alongside and grinned up at her, saying, "Have I ever told you that you have the best ideas on earth?"

"I don't believe you have," Ryan mused. "But I guarantee that this will be one of the best hours of your life." She bent and kissed the tip of her nose, adding a happy grin as she asked Jamie to hold her bike while she went inside.

Curiosity got the best of the smaller woman, and she quickly secured the bikes and walked into the office after her partner. Ryan was deep in negotiations when she sidled up next to her. "A view is nice," the dark-haired woman mused, "but I'm more interested in tranquility today."

"The most tranquil spot we have is probably Oasis," the clerk opined. "But it's a big one. It can hold forty people."

"Sounds good," Ryan decided as she extracted a few folded, and quite damp, bills from the hidden pocket of her shorts. "You might want to let those dry out before your touch them," she politely informed the clerk, as she grasped Jamie's hand to lead her to their tub.

The smaller woman was bubbling with excitement as Ryan led her to the path that caressed the hillside. They climbed up a short distance into the dense undergrowth that nearly obscured the wooden steps leading to the individual tubs. Towering oaks and massive California sycamores fringed a lovely small garden, filled with roses and star jasmine. The beautiful plants emitted a sweet scent that diminished quickly as they continued to climb. By the time they reached the platform that held their tub, the strong, acrid scent of sulfur filled the air, and Jamie cocked her head and asked, "Natural springs?"

"Yep," Ryan agreed. "A hot sulfur mineral spring lies about 1,000 feet down." She opened the redwood door that guarded their haven, and Jamie gasped in surprise and elation.

"Honey, it's wonderful!" she enthused as she took in the gently flowing waterfalls that cascaded into the pool. The little room could have been lifted right from a tropical island with its in-ground rock walls and lush green plants. Jamie tossed her arms around her partner's neck and leaned back in the embrace, smiling up at her sweetly. "Wanna go naked?" she asked with just a hint of a flush covering her cheeks.

Ryan's slowly shaking head and gentle smile answered her question.

"No?" Jamie asked, perplexed that her bold partner would want to wear a suit.

"No. Definitely not," Ryan insisted. "That would be like taking a child to Disneyland and making her stay outside the park. Looking at your beautiful body without being able to touch it would be torture of the highest degree."

"You say the silliest, sweetest things to me," Jamie replied, standing on her tiptoes to bestow a kiss.

"All true, Hot Stuff, all true," she insisted as she patted her butt.

They modestly turned their backs to change into their suits and when they were ready they held hands to climb into steaming tub. Simultaneously, they let out a hiss of pleasure as they sank in up to their ears. "Ohh, God, this is heaven," Jamie purred as her eyes fluttered closed, and she dropped her head back against the wall.

"If this is what heaven is like, I can see why you have to be good to get there," Ryan agreed completely in a lazy, relaxed drawl.

The water was a little deep for Jamie so she eventually sat on Ryan's lap. Practicality quickly gave way to passion, and soon they were engaged in a torrid make out session that they were barely able to control. Leaning heavily against her partner, Jamie finally moaned, "Can you imagine the awesome sex that we're going to have?"

Ryan closed her eyes, letting her mouth quirk into a little satisfied smile as she slowly nodded her head. "I imagine it several dozen times a day," she murmured softly. "When I'm awake; when I'm asleep…"

"You don't have to imagine for much longer," Jamie whispered. "Monday will be here before you know it."

"The minutes will seem like years," Ryan gently corrected. "Maybe decades."

After they had soaked for a good long time, Ryan hopped out and laid a towel on the redwood deck. She reached into her little pack and pulled out a bottle of massage lotion. One eyebrow wiggle had Jamie climbing out of the tub, ready to be rubbed. Ryan worked on her partner's thighs, butt and lower back, effectively removing all signs of fatigue from the overstressed muscles.

Jamie just grunted in pleasure all through the session. When Ryan was finished, the smaller woman summoned all of her strength and managed to give Ryan a similarly thorough rubdown as grateful repayment. When her muscles were nice and loose Jamie lay down next to her, drawing her into her arms and kissing her for a few more minutes. They were deep into their enjoyment of each other when Ryan's watch alarm chirped. "Five minutes before our hour's up, Hon," she regretfully informed her blissfully relaxed partner.

"Buy us another hour," Jamie begged pathetically.

"Okay," Ryan dutifully agreed as she hopped up, but her progress was stopped by Jamie's hand gently grasping her ankle.

"We can go, Honey. I'm just…I'm so relaxed I can't imagine having to hop back on that bike."

"I know," Ryan agreed as she extended a hand to help her up. "You don't regret stopping, do you?"

"Regret? How could I regret the most wonderful hour of my life?" she asked with a wide grin. "You, a steaming hot tub, you, a tranquil tropical setting…did I mention you?"

"Yes, you did," she grinned. "I feel very appreciated."

"Well, you should," she reminded her. "Because I appreciate you more than words can express."

"The feeling is decidedly mutual," Ryan pronounced as they turned around to shimmy back into their bike clothes.

When they were finished, Jamie stood still for Ryan's chronic re-application of her sunscreen. "This little pink skin is too precious to burn," she said as she kissed her on the nose.

When they left the springs, they headed back inland. The terrain was very flat in this agricultural valley, and they were chatting contentedly until Jamie spied a very steep hill in the distance. "What's that?" she asked as casually as possible.

"That's Little Agony," Ryan replied with a grin.

"Um...where's Big Agony?" she asked nervously

"You'll see," Ryan said smugly. "I do want to warn you though, Jamie. This is a very, very steep hill. It's almost impossible to go more than five miles an hour, so I want you to consider just walking up it. It's only about a quarter-mile long, but it's narrow and heavily traveled."

"What are you going to do?" she inquired.

"I'm gonna bust my thighs," her buff partner said with an evil grin.

Ryan was right about the hill being very steep. It was about a 20% grade, the steepest by far of any they had encountered. The vast majority of the riders had chosen to walk up the hill, given the traffic and the narrow shoulder. But Ryan just put her head down and powered right up it. She actually didn't go a whole lot faster than the walkers, but her slow pace let Jamie ogle her for a while, so they both ended up happy.

At the top of the hill, many riders had gathered to cheer on their compatriots. Ryan was smiling broadly when Jamie finally crested the hill, and she gave her a kiss for her caution.

After the hill, another quick descent brought them to the last stop of the day. The sight of an entire Girl Scout troop that had come out to greet them charmed them both. Jamie caught an adorable interchange with Ryan and a whole group of the kids with her camera and then submitted to Ryan's order that she also pose. "Good thing you guys have on your uniforms," Ryan joked. "Or I wouldn't be able to tell which of you was my friend."

"Very funny," Jamie scowled as the nine-year-olds who surrounded her ineffectively tried to suppress their giggles.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The last 15 miles of the day were flat and blissfully quick. The girls pulled into the park to the cheers of hundreds of riders, crew, local residents, and community leaders all acknowledging their efforts. It was the largest welcome they had experienced yet, and neither could resist adding to the ranks. So, as tired as they were, they joined the crowd to welcome home their fellow riders, cheering them on for a long time.

They joined yet another of Ryan's old teams for dinner. This group, of almost 20 people from San Francisco General Hospital consisted of nurses, orderlies, technicians and a couple of doctors, all of whom kidded and teased Ryan unmercifully for finally finding a lover. During a fantastic tortellini dinner, they debated strategy for the next day. They only needed to cover 55 miles--quite a short distance compared with the usual 90+ miles--but 11 of those miles were devoted to just one hill. They also had to face "The Wall," a really steep climb, right at the end of the day. "So do you want to power through the day and get to the camp really early, or would you rather take it easy and slow?" Ryan asked.

"Are there any cool places we could spend an hour or two?" Jamie replied, knowing that if such places existed, Ryan would know of them.

"Yeah, we actually stop for lunch at the Zaca Mesa Winery. It's a beautiful spot with lots of trees and shade. We could go on a tour if you want. But I don't think we can afford to sample the fare," she added with a grin.

"What's tomorrow night's camp like?" Jamie asked, trying to gather all of the pertinent info before she made up her mind.

"It's the nicest one on the whole trip," Ryan said confidently. "Real showers and real toilets. And it's a beautiful setting, too. A gorgeous lake called Cachuma."

"Why don't we try to do both? Let's leave as early as possible, stop for a while at the winery, and then ride hard for the rest of the day. Then we should get back early to get one of those real showers."

"You are a genius," Ryan said reverently, giving her a sweet kiss.

"Don't eat my dessert," Jamie ordered, as she got up to stand in line for a Porta-Potty.

"Oh-oh," a nurse named Barbara said under her breath as Jamie walked away.

"What?" Ryan asked idly, still concentrating on Jamie's rear.

"Here comes trouble," she said a little louder.

The object of her concern made a beeline for Jamie, falling in right behind her in the slow-moving line. "Does your girlfriend know about your…uh…past?" Barbara asked Ryan as tactfully as possible.

"She knows the truth," Ryan nodded. "But my version of the truth and Tiffany's probably don't have many similarities." She turned to Barbara and said, "I think I'll have to do some damage control later. I'd better go get some more cookies. I might need my strength!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The purposeful woman slipped into line behind Jamie and tapped her on the shoulder. "Tiffany Grable," she said, as though the name should mean something to Jamie.

The blonde regarded the confident-looking woman who stood before her. Dark wavy hair, cut to just shoulder length; very dark, almost black eyes that radiated heat but not warmth; attractive but sharp features that curled into a smirk as Jamie extended her hand. "Jamie Evans," she said.

"Are you the girlfriend of the week, or did you buy the line about going for a longer ride?" she asked, with sarcasm dripping from her words.

"Uhh, Tiffany, is it?" Jamie asked sweetly.

"Yes."

"Don't dis my lover," she snapped, green eyes flashing. She turned on her heel and stalked back to the table where 21 pairs of eyes tried not to let her see they were watching her. She flopped down heavily onto the bench and shook her head. "She must have had me confused with someone who gives a damn," she pronounced as she looked at the empty plate in front of her partner and demanded, "Where are my cookies?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

After a stop to replace the purloined cookies they strolled around the camp grounds, walking near a large duck pond in the center of the site. They sat on the ground and watched the ducks forage for dinner for a long time. They didn't speak much, being content to just be in each other's presence.

They hadn't discussed Tiffany's display, since there were so many other people around, but Ryan knew it had to be bothering her partner. "Wanna talk about it?" she asked gently.

"What, that idiot?" she asked, as she cocked her head.

"Yeah, didn't that bother you?"

Jamie sat and contemplated her reply. Finally she turned to Ryan and said, "Not really. I mean, to be honest, I'd be pissed if you made love to me and then dropped me as soon as the ride was over."

"But I never led her on…" Ryan began, but Jamie cut her off.

"That's how you are, Ryan. You weren't invested, and you told them the truth. But most women aren't that way. They believe your signals more than your words. And knowing you, your signals were pretty encouraging," she said with a smirk.

"So are you angry with me?"

"No, of course not," she said quickly. "I know how you behaved before we got together. I know you were honest, but I also know that a lot of women must not have believed you. I feel sorry for them because I know how easy it is to fall in love with you," she said as she gave her a sweet smile. "But just because someone is mad at you is no reason to get in my face," she said decisively. "That's completely uncalled for."

"She didn't know who she was tussling with," Ryan agreed as she gave her partner a squeeze.

After several moments had passed, Ryan lay down with her head in Jamie's lap. As the nimble fingers began to slide through her long black locks, giving her a little scalp rub for good measure, Ryan warned, "You'd better be careful, there, Jamie."

"Why, is this one of your erogenous zones?" she teased.

"Well, it can be," she admitted. "But it's a surefire knockout when I'm tired."

"This puts you to sleep?" she asked as she continued the rub.

"Like a blow to the head," she replied knowledgeably.

"And just how many blows to the head have knocked you out?" she teased, tapping her skull playfully.

Ryan silently counted in her head, finally replying, "Five, I think."

"Jesus, Ryan!" she nearly shouted. "How did they happen?"

"Gee Jamie, it's really not all that hard to knock yourself out," she explained logically.

"Ryan, I don't know another person who's been knocked out once! So how did you get so lucky five times?!"

"Well, let me think now. I got a doozy of a concussion when I was about ten. We were skateboarding down Lombard, and somebody cut me off. I flew over one of those little flowerbeds and landed right on my head. If I hadn't had on the helmet that Da made me promise to wear, I would have bit it."

"My God!" she said as she tenderly rubbed the skull lying in her lap. "Did you have to go to the hospital?"

"Oh yeah, paramedics, ambulance, the whole nine yards. I don't remember any of it, of course, but Da and the boys have never joked about it, so they must have really been scared."

"How long were you in the hospital?"

"Just overnight, I think," she mused. "But I was pretty out of it for a while. I had headaches and vertigo for a couple of weeks. It was really pretty scary. But the worst thing was that Da wouldn't let me use my skateboard for months! I had to run like the dickens to keep up with my buddies."

Jamie shook her head and rolled her eyes as she considered that Ryan's perspective and hers were quite different regarding the worst part of the incident. "When did he relent?" she asked.

Ryan chuckled as she related, "I had been saving up for something special, and I bought one of the first pairs of rollerblades sold in San Francisco. I really wasn't very competent on them, and he caught me trying to go down Noe on the darned things. He went right into his room and handed me back my skateboard! He said at least on a skateboard I could jump off and be on solid ground."

"How many sleepless nights that man must have gone through," Jamie muttered, patting Ryan's grinning cheek. "Now I'm afraid to ask, but what were the other times?"

"A couple of years later I took a flying kick to the head in karate class. That laid me out for a few minutes, but I didn't tell Da, so I didn't have to go to the doctor," she said proudly.

"We're definitely adopting," Jamie scolded. "Tell me the rest."

"I got kicked in the head playing soccer in high school. It wasn't that bad, and I didn't even lose consciousness, but the trainer wouldn't let me back in the game just because I didn't know what day it was," she grumbled. Jamie shot her a disapproving glance, but she added, "We were behind, Jamie," as if that explained everything.

"Okay, that's only three. Were the others from sky diving or cliff jumping?"

"Ooh, I've never sky dived, but I'd love to," she said with wide eyes.

"Number four?" Jamie scowled.

"I was playing basketball, and a girl from the other team was on me all night. I don't know what her problem was, but she was really harassing me. Near the end of the game, I got the ball and went right over her head for a basket. As I turned around, she took the ball and heaved it right at me. It hit me in the back of the head, which would not have been so bad, but I didn't see it coming and it knocked my head into the basket support. They said I fell like the building had dropped on me," she laughed at this image, but Jamie saw no humor in it at all.

"Hospital?"

"Yep. Just overnight for observation, though."

"Okay, give me number five."

"You sure?" she asked cautiously. "It's kinda bad."

"Yes, I'm sure, Ryan. If it happened to you, I want to know about it."

She took a deep breath and blinked slowly a few times, causing Jamie's heart to pick up in anticipation of the obviously distressing story. "I was gay bashed," Ryan finally said, her voice just above a whisper.

"What?!!" Jamie cried, her shocked gasp seemingly a hundred times louder than Ryan's small voice.

"About a year ago," she continued. "Actually, it was the week after Gay Pride, so that would make it the end of June. I was on a date with a woman I was just getting to know. We were down in SOMA, going to a bar. We'd taken my bike, and she had her arms around me, just holding on—nothing sexual at all. As we got off, a group of guys came out of the alley and started hassling us. We were only about a block from the bar, but there was nobody around," she shook her head sadly as Jamie began to rub her head again in comfort.

"I would have gotten back on the bike and run them over if I could have. It was obvious that they were going to hurt us if they could. But I knew I couldn't get Kelly on with me, so I tried to talk them out of it. She was a lot smaller than I was, so they tried to push her around first. Things started to get out of control, and I made a mistake that haunts me to this day," she mumbled. "I showed my trump card too early. I took out the guy who was shoving her, but when I went to get the second guy a third one pulled a knife and put it to Kelly's throat. He said he'd kill her if I didn't back off. Of course, I had to, so two of them grabbed me and made me watch while they beat her senseless," she closed her eyes and tried to blink back the tears.

"When they finished with her, they started on me. One of them had a pipe and they broke some of my ribs and bruised the rest, then they hit me on the head. That was the only time I was happy to be unconscious," she said as she shivered slightly at the memory of the pain.

"What happened then?" Jamie asked with a tremulous voice, terribly afraid of the answer.

"Luckily they found us too repellant to rape, so they left us lying in the street. Somebody called an ambulance, and we were both taken to the hospital." She shook her head as she added, "It was so hard to see Da's face when I woke up. I don't think I'd seen him that upset since my mother died," she said softly.

"How bad were your injuries?" Jamie asked, with a pale, frightened face.

"I had two black eyes, a small fracture to my skull, three broken ribs and a bruised kidney. They were afraid that my spleen was ruptured, but luckily it wasn't, and I didn't have to have surgery. I don't think there was a part of me that wasn't bruised. I looked like I'd been hit by a bus, and it took me most of the summer to really be pain free. That's when my Aunt and cousin Aisling came to see me. It was pretty bad, and they were all worried, so they came to reassure themselves that I was going to be all right. I was just getting back to normal when I met you."

"What happened to Kelly?" Jamie asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"She was okay. She had tons of bruises, too, but nothing was broken. Obviously, it really freaked her out, and she wouldn't go out with me again. Not that I blame her," she added bitterly.

"But you tried to defend her!" Jamie said indignantly.

"I know," she said, in a comforting tone. "But I think I reminded her of what happened. Besides, I didn't feel like seeing anyone for a long time. I was afraid to let anyone touch me…well, no, that's not true," she amended. "I was afraid to relax enough around people I didn't know to let them get close to me. It really bothered me emotionally, so I finally had to see a therapist for a while. She helped me see how it was just a random act, and that there was nothing I could have done differently to prevent it."

"Now I understand why it was so hard for you when I was attacked," Jamie said quietly.

"Yeah, it was only about five months after this happened, so it was still pretty fresh."

"Your poor little head," Jamie murmured soothingly, stroking her hair again. "How could anyone hurt such a sweet woman?" she said, as she leaned over and kissed her all over her face.

"I don't know the answer to that, Jamie. Some people are just filled with rage. There's not much you can do except stay out of their way."

"How long were you in the hospital?" she finally asked.

"Three days. They did every test known to humankind on my head. I had to tell them the truth about how many times I had been unconscious. Boy, Da almost knocked me out again when he found out that I didn't tell him about those other times," she laughed.

"What did they find?" she asked a bit tentatively.

"Nothing much. There were a couple of spots that they could see had been damaged, but they're pretty confident that I won't have any future trouble. But I really try to protect my head now when I do anything risky."

"You'd better," Jamie said. "I love every little synapse in that pretty little head." She leaned down again to kiss her forehead. "But Ryan, I want you to promise me something," she said seriously.

Ryan sat up and looked at her squarely. "What is it?"

"Please promise me that you'll never keep things like that from me. I don't want to see you hurt, but if you ever do hurt yourself, promise me that you'll tell me."

"I promise I'll tell you, Jamie. And I already made that promise to Da, so I really have to keep it, or I'll have both of you on my tail," she said with a little grin.

"I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to be laid-up for so long," Jamie said, unable to imagine her hyperactive partner sitting still for very long.

"Yeah, it was hard in some ways. I spent a lot of time in Lincoln Park, just looking at the water. I couldn't walk much because of the ribs, but there are some great spots out there where you can sit and contemplate life. When I could move around without too much pain, I started to go out to Land's End. I love it there—I think it's the wildest place in the whole city."

Jamie smiled to herself, acknowledging that her partner would logically seek out the wild parts of any locale. "What did you think about?" she asked softly.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess I thought about the randomness of life—and how lucky I am."

"Lucky?" Jamie asked, thinking she would probably not feel lucky to be beaten half to death.

"Yeah...lucky," Ryan mused. "I can think of 50 countries just off the top of my head, where every day is a struggle just to survive. I could have been born in Bangladesh and been sold into slavery as a young child. I could have starved to death in a Rwandan refugee camp. I could have been shot or crippled in any number of ethnic or religious civil wars. I was hurt...both mentally and physically...but I've been so blessed to be born in this country, in this age, and to my family, that I just couldn't let myself wallow in that pain. That's what got me through it, Jamie. I just counted my blessings."

They both grew quiet then, letting the story settle a bit. Jamie still ran her fingers through the dark hair, but her touch was even more loving and gentle than before. Ryan blinked up at her and asked, "What are you thinking?"

A heavy sigh preceded the answer. "I was thinking of how many times you've been hurt in your life. How often terrible things have happened that you did not deserve," she said as she shook her head.

"Bad things happen to everyone, Jamie," she assured her. "Nothing you can do about it."

The small hand stilled completely as her rough voice choked out, "There is when I'm the one who hurts you."

"What?" Ryan cried, jerking into a seated position. "What are you talking about?"

"I hurt you, Ryan. I hurt you worse than the people who beat you up because I knew you and loved you. I hurt you by going back to Jack," she gasped out between wracking sobs.

"Jamie, we've been over this," she soothed. "That was a hard time for you…"

"And it wasn't for you?" she asked with a bitter tone. "How does that make up for how I hurt you?"

"It wasn't easy," she agreed as she pursed her lips together in memory of the pain it had caused her. "But I'm glad you did it," she insisted.

"You can't be!" Jamie replied forcefully. "No one could be glad to have someone jerk them around like I did you!" She shook her head forcefully, eyes closed tightly. "I'll never forgive myself for doing that to you, Ryan. I used both you and Jack, and I did it only to make myself more comfortable. It just makes me sick when I think about it!"

"Jamie," she soothed, pulling the resisting body into her embrace. "Granted, you did hurt both Jack and me, but I don't agree that you did it with any malice. You were doing exactly what I told you to do," she insisted.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Look, Honey," Ryan said clearly. "I would rather be hurt that way before we got too involved, than to have you have doubts about your choice. Lesbianism wasn't a choice for me, Jamie. I was either going to have sex with women or be celibate. But you probably could have stayed with a man and been reasonably fulfilled sexually. If you had a guy who pleased you in every other way, it would have probably even made up for the spark that you lacked physically."

"And?"

"And your short time with Jack showed you in the most compelling way that you were willing to take the risk to be exactly who you are…with no compromise. I honestly think that if you hadn't given it another try, you might regret your choice when things get tough—and I guarantee that things will sometimes be tough, Honey. It's not always easy to be different, as my poor fractured skull can tell you."

"You're really not disappointed or angry with me?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"Are you disappointed or angry with me for inadvertently leading women on?"

"No, I'm not, Ryan. It bothered me at first, but I'm okay with it now that I really know you."

"I'm definitely not angry or disappointed in you, Jamie. I was hurt, but sometimes you do hurt the people you love. Forgiving is part of loving, Honey. They both have to exist to make any relationship work."

"And I so badly want ours to work," Jamie agreed fervently.

"It will, Baby, it will."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

While they lay in bed that night, Jamie traced the tiny knots on her lover's torso that marked her broken ribs. She bent and kissed each bump, then placed Ryan's head on her chest and began to rub it gently, soothing her to sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

As the first rays of sunlight hit the tent, Ryan woke in a comfortable little nest. She was spooned up against Jamie with her face pressed against her back. Her left arm was behaving itself, nestled between their bodies, but her right arm had snuck down across her partner's torso where her hand was firmly wedged between Jamie's legs. She slowly extracted her hand from its little haven and placed it on the much less dangerous terrain of her waist. The movement caused her partner to stir, and moments later green eyes looked up at her in question. "Is it time to get up?"

"If you want to get going early it is," Ryan replied as she nuzzled her neck.

"Okay, I'm up," she said as she struggled to her knees. "Hey, c'mere," she said, as Ryan turned around to crawl out. Ryan crawled back over, and Jamie ran her hand up and down her torso. "You are losing weight. You're all concave here," she said as she patted her tummy. "We've got to get some more food into you."

"I'll have an extra bagel for breakfast. And I'll bring some GU today. They'll give me another 500 calories."

"What's GU?" Jamie asked.

"They're little tubes of a flavored energy replacement. Each one is 100 calories, and it's fat free. It's just an energy source that doesn't upset my stomach, but gives me some easy calories."

"Do you like them?"

"Given how much I love food, I'd prefer to get my calories the old-fashioned way. But I'm really sick of energy bars, so I haven't been eating enough of them. And too much lunch really upsets my tummy, so this is my only option."

"You'd better take care of yourself, because you're going to need every ounce of energy you can get your hands on next week. This ride is nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you," Jamie purred.

"You really are a little sex maniac, aren't you?" Ryan teased.

"You're just going to have to wait and see," Jamie said as she kissed Ryan right on the tip of her nose.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ryan was already well into her breakfast when Jamie finally joined her. She was chatting with an Irish couple who had come from Dublin just to do the ride. She introduced Jamie, and they all chatted for a while. The couple got up, wishing them both a 'good ride,' giggling as they left. "Why was that funny?" Jamie asked.

"We were just joking about that before you came up. "Ride" is slang for making love, and they just find it funny that people are always wishing them good sex."

"Do you know a lot of Irish slang?"

"Yeah, I do. My cousins always had to give me a crash course every summer to teach me the current terms, and I'm sure a lot of what they taught me goes in and out of style just like here, but I can figure most things out when I hear them in conversation."

"Will you take me to Ireland with you sometime?" she asked with a big smile.

"I can't imagine ever going without you," Ryan replied solemnly.

They got started really early, pedaling out of Santa Maria just before 6:30 a.m. The first 15 miles were a breeze: flat road, good pavement, and no traffic. They pulled into the first pit stop just as a huge truck from an L.A. television affiliate did. "We're getting close, Jamie. The media's here," Ryan observed.

"I couldn't imagine saying this before this week, but I don't want this to end, Ryan," she said with a catch in her voice.

"I know just what you mean," Ryan said, as she gave her a hug. "I always start to feel like this by day five, but this year it's worse. I just feel like we're in such a blissful little cocoon. People take care of all of our needs, we're together twenty-four hours a day, and we can be as affectionate as we want...it's really been idyllic."

"I can't think of a better way to start our life together," Jamie reflected.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Ryan proved to be correct when she described the Zaca Mesa Winery as a gorgeous little place. They ate their curried chicken salad sandwiches in a beautiful setting, surrounded by vibrant grapevines, then found a spot under a small grove of tall trees, where they decided to take a little nap. Ryan had brought a shiny metallic space blanket that they spread out after they had cleared the area of rocks and twigs. Ryan rolled up their jackets and made an adequate pillow for herself while Jamie was perfectly content to use her favorite human pillow—namely, Ryan's shoulder.

Moments later they were both sound asleep. Jamie soon had her leg thrown over Ryan's pelvis; an arm draped across her torso was next. By the time Melanie saw them, they looked as though they were welded together. She reached into her fanny pack and snapped a few pictures of them, grinning the whole while.

They slept for over an hour in the cool shade. They were both a little groggy when they woke, but the rest had done them good, and they started off again around noon. Heartbreak Hill was their first real obstacle of the day. It was just over a half-mile long, but was about a 12% grade, so it was challenging. They both rode up without stopping, and Jamie felt a good bit of satisfaction as she powered up the last fifty yards.

They zoomed along for another four miles or so until The Wall. This little beast was a full one and a half miles of at least a six percent grade. Ryan knew that Jamie was tiring a bit, so she offered her an inducement. Jamie was constantly begging Ryan to sing to her, and while she usually indulged her requests gladly, she had yet to sing a note on the ride. "I'll make you a deal," Ryan said mischievously, as they took a water break just before the hill. "I'll stay behind you and sing a song. I'll keep a nice, steady pace. But you'll only be able to hear me if you stay in front. So I'll serenade you up the hill, but I'm not repeating any of the verses, so keep moving," she said as she poked her in the butt.

Jamie took off, trying to keep an even pace. Ryan began her song, a long, lyrically dense story about a young maiden who is seduced by an old flame who intentionally gets her lost on the back of Rare's Hill and has his way with her after they drink a nip or two. Jamie missed an important verse as Ryan passed her at one point, but she pressed her lips together in concentration, lifted her butt from the saddle, and cranked for all she was worth until she was back within earshot. They crested the hill to the cheers of many other riders and crew, and as they pulled over to join the crowd for a bit, Jamie gave Ryan a heartfelt kiss for trying so hard to make the hills fun for her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

As they approached the campsite, Jamie mused to herself that Lake Cachuma was one of the most glorious sights she had ever seen. She knew that the place was actually not the stuff of postcards, but the lure of real showers made it seem like a showplace. The only drawback was that they weren't allowed to swim, but that was a small sacrifice, given the lovely setting. Their first stop was not to look at the scenery however, it was to find that porcelain and take a real shower. They were among the first in line, and they soaked up the hot water like manna from heaven. They were both careful not to use too much, since they knew everyone else needed a turn, but every drop was delicious to their dirty bodies.

They got into the tent in their t-shirts and panties and fell into a deep sleep in a matter of minutes. As they woke, Jamie thought that nothing had ever felt quite so good to her as snuggling together with their clean, shower-scented bodies and fresh clothes. A light breeze blew through the open tent flap, and Jamie could not resist tasting the toothpaste-fresh mouth right next to hers. She kissed and nibbled and sucked on that sweet mouth for many minutes. Ryan tried her best to control the escalation of passion, but as usual, she failed miserably. Jamie wound up straddling her hips, grinding against her with overwhelming need. Ryan took pity on her and whispered, "Do you want me to leave you alone for a while?"

But Jamie merely pressed her lips together and shook her head in frustration. She rolled off her hips and once again started kissing Ryan deeply. The dark woman eventually came up for air as she again whispered, "Honey, you seem so frustrated. Are you okay?"

But Jamie held steadfast--frustrated beyond belief--but steadfast. She bent down again for another round of frantic kissing, seemingly trying to physically merge with her partner. After a long while she rolled over onto her back, panting deeply. Ryan leaned over and asked solicitously, "Is there anything I can do to help you, Honey?"

Jamie blinked up at her and shook her head, a tiny smile finally gracing her lips. "I'm gonna assume that was rhetorical," she chuckled. "Because we both know that you could help plenty."

"Well…" Ryan drawled, "I don't like to boast, but I do have some experience in these matters."

"Save your experience until Monday," Jamie said, as she flopped down onto her back. "I can use all the help I can get."

"Don't think I'm laughing at you," Ryan insisted as she chuckled deeply. "But I think you're gonna prove to have a certain natural gift." She placed a few final kisses on Jamie's swollen lips and added, "I predict that you're going to be a real phenom."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

After they loaded up on dinner, they walked around the lake. They found a deserted little spot near the banks of the placid lake, and sat down to chat. After a while Jamie asked, "Have you given much thought to our living situation?"

"Yeah, I have," Ryan replied. "I don't think I can live without you, even for one night, so whatever we do, I really need for you to be with me."

"I agree completely," she replied as she gave Ryan a kiss. "But what would you be comfortable with? Would you consider moving in with me?"

"That makes the most sense," Ryan agreed. "But I'm a little worried about moving out completely. I know Da probably seems really independent to you, but I think he'd be lost without me around. So I'm kind of torn."

"Well, we have the house to ourselves until September. I want to go to summer school, so it makes sense to stay in Berkeley during the week. But I'd be willing to go back and forth on the weekends if he's serious about letting us sleep together at your house."

"Would you really do that for me?" Ryan asked with a look of wonder on her face.

"Ryan, I'd carry you back and forth to Berkeley if it would make you happy. I love you, you big goofball," she teased.

"Okay, okay," she laughed. "It does make the most sense to stay in Berkeley during the week since I have to work every day. But we could go to my house on Friday evening and stay until Monday morning. Would that be okay with you?"

"Yeah, then we can see Caitlin, and have Sunday dinner with the boys," Jamie happily agreed. "I would really miss Sunday dinner, Ryan," she said seriously.

"You really do understand my connection with my family, don't you?"

"Yes, I do, but I have a connection too, and it's important to me to spend time with them also."

"You know, if I were to design a girlfriend, she wouldn't be a perfect as you are," she said contentedly, as she gave Jamie a brilliant smile.

"Well, that settles the summer. Let's see how it goes and then decide later what we want to do during the year."

"Okay," Ryan agreed. "Let's just make this the best summer we've ever had."

"It already has been, for me," Jamie said as she kissed her tenderly.

"This does bring up one little tiny issue, however," Ryan said.

"What's that, Hon?" Jamie asked lazily.

"I think your parents are going to have a few questions. Have you given any thought to telling them about us?"

"Uuhhhh…no," she admitted. "I've been so focused on the ride and everything that I haven't really thought about it. But I guess I do have to do it at some point."

"Yeah," Ryan drawled. "And given your mother's visit, I think that point might be soon. You really should think about how you want to do it…and when," she added.

"Okay, as soon as we're back from our honeymoon, I'll start discussing it with Anna. At least then it'll be too late for them to protect my lesbian virginity," she said with a giggle.

"It certainly will be if I get a vote," the dancing blue eyes agreed wholeheartedly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Day Five was the night of the traditional rider talent show. Jamie pestered Ryan to sing, but she firmly refused. "I'm saving my voice for the woman I love," she replied. "I only perform for an audience of one."

They had a great time watching the show; several people had marvelous voices, and a few professional-quality drag acts had everyone howling. One guy was a terrific juggler, and a few really talented guitar players rounded out the high quality talent. A few people with more enthusiasm and guts than talent really made the night fun, though. It was great to see people feel so much a part of the community that they didn't mind exhibiting their foibles.

They were in bed by nine and asleep by 9:01. The next day was going to be a tough one--emotionally, it was their last night of camping; physically, the Gaviota Pass awaited them.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

A sharp, tingling sensation woke Ryan just a bit after dawn. She groggily tried to focus but quickly gave up, and settled back into sleep. "Ouch," she said moments later, as her eyes flew open, and she found the source of her discomfort.

Jamie's hand was lying on her breast, thumb and index finger curled around a very hard nipple. As her hand twitched reflexively in sleep her fingers compressed, sending a wave of sensation through the tender nub.

Ryan was about to remove the offending appendage when the hand flattened out, changing the sensation from pain to comfort. Jamie was sprawled across her body, her golden head resting on her chest. Ryan did a quick inventory and found that one of her own hands had strayed into forbidden territory, and she slowly extracted it from its resting place inside the back of Jamie's panties. Just as she slid out green eyes locked onto her "Caught ya," she said mischievously.

"You'd better check on your own hands before you go throwing stones," was the gentle reply.

Jamie did so, blushing deeply as she removed her hand from its soft pillow. "Sorry," she said sheepishly.

Ryan lifted her chin with two fingers. "Jamie, you never have to apologize for touching me. Don't ever be sorry for expressing your love, or your desire," she said fervently.

"I...I...I'm not sorry that I touch you, I'm just sorry that I tease you. I know this is hard for you, Ryan. God knows it's hard for me, too," she added with a laugh. "I had no idea how hard it was going to be, though. I almost exploded yesterday afternoon."

"I hate to admit it, but this is one thing the nuns were absolutely correct about."

"What's that?" Jamie asked, wondering how nuns figured into this discussion.

"They said that the easiest way to get into trouble was to be in a compromising position with someone. They said it was just too easy to go that next step. They called it 'avoiding the near occasion of sin.' "

"I don't think there is anything sinful about how I feel for you," Jamie said sincerely.

"I couldn't agree more," Ryan said as she gave her a tender good-morning kiss. "Although some of the things I want to do to you are positively wicked," she added with a leer.

After they had packed up they sat down to breakfast, where Jamie was quite surprised that Ryan ate only a bowl of oatmeal. "Are you feeling okay?" she asked solicitously, as she gently placed her hand on Ryan's tummy.

"I feel marvelous," she replied brightly. "I'm just saving room for something," she added mysteriously.

"Well, if you're saving room for something, I know it's gotta be good," Jamie replied confidently.

Minutes later they left Lake Cachuma, and enjoyed a relatively flat, quick pace. They had not even reached the first pit stop when Ryan signaled that they had reached their destination. They had just entered Solvang, a terribly cute little Danish-style village. Nearly every shop was open, even though it was just after six. There was a constant stream of riders going into a sporting goods shop, and Ryan pulled up in front. "Watch my bike for a minute, okay?" she said over her shoulder as she walked inside.

She emerged moments later, carrying an aerosol can of bike polish. Jamie looked at her quizzically and said, "This is what you saved room for? Petroleum-based solvents aren't really good for you, Honey," she joked.

Ryan shook her head solemnly and said," No," as she pointed at a little bakery with a faux windmill on the roof. "That's what I saved room for."

Jamie's eyes lit up as they walked their bikes over to the little shop. The aroma was overpoweringly good, a mix of coffee, cinnamon, sugar and just about everything else Jamie loved. The display case was packed with freshly-baked goods of all varieties. Most were familiar to Jamie, who had spent some time in Denmark two years ago. She searched her memory for which of the pastries had been her favorites, finally deciding that, judging from the aroma, she couldn't go wrong no matter what she chose.

Ryan was leaning over the case and Jamie was actually afraid that she would drool on the clean glass. She sidled up to her and said admiringly, "You manage to top yourself almost daily in the surprise department, Ms. O'Flaherty."

"Shhh, I'm concentrating," Ryan said with mock severity. "I've only got ten bucks on me, and I don't want to make a mistake."

"Ten bucks! Ryan, most of these pastries are only a dollar! Are you really going to eat ten of them?"

"Unless I can get you to create a distraction while I grab an armful, yes, I'm only able to eat ten of them," she said dejectedly.

"You know, I can never tell when you're kidding about things like this," she said good-naturedly. "But if you are serious, I've got some major cash on me, so have at it."

As it turned out, Ryan was kidding, but not by much. She ate a cheese and a cherry Danish, two cinnamon crisps and a light little cream puff, while Jamie limited herself to a cherry Danish and a cinnamon crisp. They each had a delicious cup of coffee, their first of the trip. After they had finished, Ryan jogged off in search of a bathroom; Jamie got back in line and bought three more pastries for her lover to snack on later in the day. She was hiding them in her bike bag when Ryan returned, energized and ready for the day.

They rode only a few more miles until the first pit stop. They spent a few minutes drinking water, as Ryan advised Jamie of the impending problems climbing the Gaviota Pass.

"This next one is kind of tough," she warned. "It's a long seven miles with anywhere from a two to a five percent grade. But the real problem is the narrow shoulders on a couple of bridges. I get off the bike, turn around, and make sure that no trucks are coming. If it's clear, I ride across if it's a long bridge, or I sprint across if it's short. Promise me that you'll be careful, okay?" she asked seriously, placing her hands on Jamie's shoulders and looking intently into her eyes.

"I promise I'll be careful. I don't have the thrill-seeking gene like somebody I know," she replied, as she found her favorite tickling spot and gave it a few good twitches.

Ryan's prediction was accurate. The climb was not really all that bad, but Highway 101 is terribly busy, every hour of the day. Jamie hated having the semi's fly past her on the narrow road, but she summoned all of her concentration to focus just ahead of her, knowing that Ryan would keep an eye out for the road ahead.

They dismounted and walked their bikes across two of the small bridges, then rode across a longer one, after waiting for traffic to break. When they reached the top of the pass, there was a brake test area for trucks, so they knew that a big downhill was coming. For a change, Ryan didn't go down at breakneck speed. She stayed just in front of Jamie, all the way down the four-mile drop.

They reached the second pit stop at mile 44. Today's theme was Bath Time, and all of the crew wore shower caps, towels and slippers. They rested for a while, since the stop was later than normal because of the pass. They were now right on the ocean, and they would stay close to it for the rest of the ride. The cool ocean breeze and cooler temperatures were terribly refreshing, but Jamie knew that they came with a price--they would be riding into that breeze for most of the rest of the ride.

They pedaled through the wind, and finally arrived at their lunch stop--the University of California at Santa Barbara. As they rode along the beautiful eucalyptus-lined streets of the campus, they were greeted by dozens and dozens of elementary school kids, college students and local residents who came out with signs and banners welcoming them to Santa Barbara. Jamie fought tears every time they encountered a spontaneous display like this. She knew that Ryan really appreciated it too, from the adorable little grin that she always had when she waved back.

The cycling team from the college was on hand to welcome them at the lunch site. "Jeez, look at the thighs on that woman," Jamie said in awe as they sat on the grass eating lunch.

"Her calves aren't bad either," Ryan said with an appraising glance that began at the woman's head and slowly traveled all the way down to her feet.

"Hey," Jamie said as she poked her in the ribs. "Keep those looks for me, kiddo."

"Everything I have is for you, Jamie," she said sweetly. "My interest is purely professional."

After a moment Jamie turned and faced Ryan squarely, "Do you really think I'm going to be enough to keep you interested for the rest of your life?"

"Where did that question come from?" Ryan asked, slightly perplexed by the unexpected query.

"I don't know," Jamie replied a little defensively. "I just didn't like the way you looked at that woman."

"Then we need to talk about this," Ryan declared. She sat up straight and put her hands on Jamie's knees. She closed her eyes for a moment, to compose her thoughts, and when she opened them she gazed deeply into Jamie's eyes. "I pledge my fidelity to you alone, Jamie. I will never touch another woman in a sexual way. I swear to that, and I would never make such an important promise that I couldn't keep."

"I know, Ryan," she said as she wrapped her arms around her neck. "I'm sorry. I'm just feeling a little sensitive today."

"No, don't brush this aside, Jamie," she insisted. "I really want you to understand this. I think you and I are different in this area, and I want you to understand me." She pulled back from Jamie's embrace and held both of her hands. "I love women. I love just about everything about women. I get a lot of pleasure out of seeing a beautifully built woman. But I look at other women like works of art. My pleasure comes from seeing their bodies, and the way they carry themselves. I don't objectify them or think about having sex with them any more though. I just admire the female form. I don't think I can stop doing that, Jamie. And I'm not sure that I would, even if I could," she said resolutely. "But you're the woman I want to be with. You're the woman I want to touch intimately. You are more than enough woman for me, and you always will be," she said fervently. "I find everything about you beautiful. Not just your face or your body. It's your spirit that I love, and that will always be the same, even as we grow old," she slid her arms around her partner and kissed the tears coursing down her face. "You're the last woman in my life," she whispered as she bent to kiss her tenderly.

"Oh Ryan, you are so sweet to me," she said through her tears. "Thank you for putting up with my insecurities."

"I don't understand why a jewel like you is insecure, but I don't consider talking about things like this 'putting up' with you. We're still getting to know each other, Jamie. And I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know you...at the cellular level," she said with a crooked little grin.

"Only you could weave biology into an expression of love," Jamie said teasingly, kissing Ryan on the nose. "And I hope you know that I don't doubt your love. I just get insecure when I think of the other women you've been with. I just worry that I won't measure up," she added with an embarrassed little look.

"Jamie, Jamie, Jamie," Ryan said, hugging her close. "I've been eating from McDonalds and Burger King for all these years. You're the finest five-star restaurant in the world compared to those other women. I could never miss those empty calories. Each meal was indistinguishable from the next." She rocked her slowly in her arms and added, "You, and only you, are what gives me true sustenance."

Jamie fought back the tears again as she kissed Ryan's face, "I truly think that you are the sweetest woman on earth," she said adoringly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

After lunch, they rode on the lovely system of bike paths that traversed Santa Barbara. Ryan explained how far the system went, and showed Jamie some of the spurs that cyclists could take to cross town. "How do you know so much about the system?" Jamie finally asked.

"I was down here a couple of years ago for a tournament, and I stayed on campus. I borrowed a bike, and rode all over when we weren't playing."

"What kind of tournament were you in?" Jamie inquired.

"Basketball," she replied simply.

"I didn't know you played basketball," she said with surprise.

"Sure you did. I told you one of my concussions was during a game."

"But I didn't understand that you played on a real team. I thought you were just fooling around. Was this in high school?"

"Nope. College."

"You played college-level basketball?" she said suspiciously. "And you've never mentioned that you play?"

"Guess not," she said over her shoulder as she took off with a laugh.

It's gonna take me years to get all of her secrets out, Jamie thought. But I'll get 'em eventually.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Their next stop was the town of Carpinteria. The Rotary Club, the City Council, several hundred residents, a radio station and a large group of local merchants were there to greet them. Big boom boxes provided loud music, and as people milled about waiting for massages and food, a number of people danced energetically to the booming sounds of the music. They were right on the beach, and they watched paragliders, surfers and body boarders work the waves. Jamie was happy to just plop down and take a rest, but Ryan was buzzing with energy. She spotted her old friend Karen, and motioned her over. They chatted for a while; when it became obvious that Ryan was wired, Karen asked, "Hey Jamie, do you mind if I work some excess energy off your girlfriend?"

"I guess that depends on how you plan on doing that," was the dry reply.

"Just a little dancing is all," she replied innocently.

"Be my guest," Jamie said with a flourish.

"Do I get a vote?" Ryan asked

"Nope," Jamie and Karen replied simultaneously.

Karen took her hand and led her over to the largest boom box. They started to jump around energetically, bleeding off energy. Jamie watched with fascination thinking, I don't know what's better, dancing with her or watching her dance.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

After they were back on their bikes, Jamie said, "You know, it was fun watching you dance. You and Karen really look cute together."

Ryan cocked her head at her as she replied, "It didn't bother you to see me with her, did it?"

"Not at all. I meant what I said. It was cute." After a beat she added, "Why didn't you want to date her seriously? She really looks like your type, now that I've been around her."

"She's too much my type," she admitted wryly. "We would've driven each other crazy. She has more energy than I do in some areas, and she had even less interest than I did in settling down with one person. She slept with someone else on the ride!" she said indignantly.

"Why did that bother you?" Jamie asked, really curious.

"Because we were having sex every night! I'm not used to people looking elsewhere while I'm actively bedding them," she said with a twinkle. "And it was in our tent! I had to go sit on a picnic bench, and wait for them to finish so I could go to bed. Then, to add insult to injury, she still wanted to do it with me later that night!"

"And you, of course, said no, right?" Jamie asked innocently, as she batted her big green eyes.

"Well, she obviously wasn't satisfied, so I had to show her what she had missed," Ryan explained with a wry chuckle.

"It doesn't bother you to talk about your old flames, does it?" Jamie asked.

"No. Does it bother you to hear about them?"

"No, it doesn't," she said reflectively. "I like thinking about what a player you used to be. And I stress the 'used to be' part of that statement," she warned.

"My membership in that group has been voluntarily and irrevocably terminated," she replied, in complete agreement.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next 12 miles were torturously slow ones. The wind had freshened and blew in their faces the entire time. It seemed as though they had done the entire ride in one day rather than six, and the remaining miles loomed ahead of them like an unbreachable wall. Ryan rode directly in front of Jamie, trying to be a foil, but it really did not help much. Several times during the worst of it, Jamie rued her decision to take on this adventure, but after a few minutes of grousing she would look up ahead and see her determined partner, grinding away, and her mood would improve immediately. They rested much longer than normal at the last pit stop, dropping to the ground under the shade of a small tree after they had consumed two bottles of sports drink. Neither spoke for the entire time they lay there, and after a good half-hour's rest, Ryan stood and extended her hand, pulling Jamie to her feet. They headed out for the last ten miles of the day with grimly determined faces.

They arrived at Buenaventura State Beach significantly later than normal. Both felt more tired than sweaty, so they skipped their evening shower and took a quick nap. The nap was actually more like a quick coma than anything else, since neither heard their boisterous neighbors setting up camp, singing Barbra Streisand tunes at full volume.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Almost as soon as they left the tent, Jamie could sense that the mood over the camp had a different feeling than every other night. They stood in the longish line observing the assembled riders; after a few minutes Jamie tilted her head up and said, "I've been trying to think of what this reminds me of. I think I've got it."

"What's that, Hon?"

"It feels like the last days of high school," she decided. "You know, you're all aware that it's almost over, and you know that even though you claim you'll stay close, it will be the last time you will see some of your acquaintances."

"Yeah, I guess it does," she agreed halfheartedly.

"It's not like that for you?"

"I didn't have any friends by the time I graduated from high school," she said flatly. "And the thought of never seeing most of my classmates again was pure bliss."

Turning in her direction, Jamie placed her hands flat against Ryan's chest. The look on her face was one of sheer incredulity. "Ryan, everyone loves you!" she insisted. "I know you had troubles, but surely…"

"No. No one," she declared, her face impassive, but her eyes reflecting the lingering hurt.

"But how…"

"Not now, Jamie," she said firmly. "This night is hard enough for me without dredging that stuff up."

For the hundredth time, Jamie mentally rebuked herself for her unerring ability to find topics that greatly upset her partner. Quit prying into her past so much! she chided herself. She tells you plenty, but she only does it when she's ready. Leave the poor thing alone!

Trying one of the two things that always seemed to brighten Ryan's mood, she peeked down the table and commented. "Mmm, brownies for dessert."

"Where?" Ryan asked sharply.

"Right over there," she pointed, indicating a large platter nearly filled with the treats. "I'm not really in the mood for chocolate tonight," she said with a casual dismissal. "You can have mine."

A sweet smile and a little squeeze of her hand greeted her offer. "It's okay, Hon. I'm not mad at you for asking about my life. You don't have to give me cookie reparations."

"Would you like my brownie?" Jamie asked with her own smile.

"Mmm, let's just say this for the record. When I turn down a brownie, it's time to take me to the emergency room."

"It makes me happy to make you happy, Sweetie. So do us both a favor, and accept my peace offering, okay?"

"Hrumph! The lengths I have to go to please you!" she muttered, trying to hide a grin.

"St. Ryan of Mayo," Jamie decreed. "It's got a ring to it."

"Mmm, I think I prefer St. Ryan of Killala," she decided. "The town could use the tourist business my shrine would bring in."

"Yet another saintly act," Jamie insisted. "Always thinking of others."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

After they received their food, they were searching around for a place to sit when a voice called out, "Hey, 'O' ".

Ryan looked around and identified the speaker, then turned to Jamie to ask, "Mind if we sit with the wild girls?"

"Ahh, no, I think I've shown that I have a soft spot for wild girls," she grinned.

They walked over to a table of six women. Jamie guessed they were a little older--in their late 20's to early 30's-- and they clearly knew Ryan well. She went from woman to woman, kissing each on the lips, before she began to introduce her partner. "Jamie, this motley crew is a small part of The Lavender Menace, one of the teams I trained with a couple of years ago. Everybody, this is Jamie Evans, my…" she cast a devilish grin at her partner before decreeing, "fiancée."

"What?" the women responded, almost in unison.

"Yep. We're tying the knot on Monday," she related. Ryan caught the shocked look on Jamie's face, but she just beamed a smile at her and gave her shoulder a little squeeze.

The assembled women spent quite a while dragging the whole story out of Ryan. Jamie sat at her side, responding to direct questions, but finding herself very happy just to watch her partner interact with the group. She recognized at least one of them from the off-road ride Ryan had taken her to up on Mt. Tam, and as she regarded each of them, she had to admit that they were the most stereotypical looking lesbians that she had seen Ryan with. They all had very short hair, much shorter than her own, and two of them had hair of a color rarely found in nature. Their casual poses allowed her to detect that at least three of them didn't shave their legs, and all of them had some type of body ornament, either tattoos or a visible piercing.

Even though she hadn't met a lot of Ryan's friends, she decided that, based on looks, her partner would not have a lot in common with these women, but there was some deep bond that reflected her connection to them. She was a little more boisterous and a lot more full of herself—boasting about her conditioning, and her preparedness for the ride--but it was all done with such a teasing, playful sense that it was very well received. It took a minute for the realization to dawn on Jamie, but she finally recalled what it reminded her of. It's like any group of jocks, she mused. They build themselves up and tear each other down, but it's done with an affectionate teasing that's really cute, she decided. Yet another side of the enigmatic Ms. O'Flaherty, she thought affectionately as she watched her perform.

"So, Ryan," a woman named Cathy said. "I hear Tiffany's been looking for you. Hey!" she cried when her neighbor poked her in the ribs. "O's cool with it, aren't you?"

"Yeah, it's fine," she agreed with a bemused chuckle as she slung an arm around her partner. "Jamie already told her to take a hike."

"Good for you, Jamie," a woman named Brenda opined. "She's trash!"

"Oh, she's not that bad," Ryan said, always trying to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Six pairs of eyes rolled at that comment. The women struggled to their feet, patting Ryan and Jamie on the back as they passed. "We'll see you two over at the stage," Brenda said. "We want to catch all the announcements about tomorrow."

"Okay, see ya," Ryan said as they departed.

"Tying the knot?" the amused voice at her side softly wafted up to Ryan's ear.

"Yep. That's exactly how I think of it," Ryan said confidently.

Jamie snuggled close and snuck her arm around her partner's waist. "Why haven't you told me that?" she asked. "I mean, I know we've both been looking forward to next week, but I didn't know…"

"You didn't know how much it means to me emotionally?" Ryan asked as she turned to look at her.

"No, no…I guess I do know that," Jamie mused. "I'm not sure what I mean. Maybe it just surprised me to hear you talk about it in those terms."

"Just because we've not planned a formal ceremony doesn't mean that it's any less meaningful for me, Jamie," Ryan insisted as she grasped her hands. "This is our honeymoon, Honey. I'll admit that I didn't spend much time thinking about my wedding day when I was young, but the commitment still means a lot to me. You've held my heart for a very long time. But on Monday I'm giving you my body also. This means more to me than I can say."

Once again her partner's ability to take her breath away had Jamie struggling to calm her heart. She found herself unable to answer at the moment, her words uncharacteristically abandoning her. So she turned her head and leaned heavily against Ryan, letting the emotion pass between them for a long time.

She jerked into an upright position, however, when Tiffany passed right in front of them, chortling with some comrades as she did so.

Jamie smoothed her hair into place and passed her brownie over to her partner along with a kiss on the cheek. "I think it's so sweet that you don't trash people," she said, very pleased that Ryan had not even commented on the woman's presence.

"Oh, I do," Ryan laughed. "I can be positively wicked. They just have to hit a hot button. Tiffany didn't ever do that."

"Do you have any idea why she's so angry with you?"

"Yeah, a pretty good idea," Ryan mused, as she nibbled on her gooey brownie. "Part of it is that's just her personality. She's very confrontational—always ready to pick a fight. She works at San Francisco General now, with a lot of the people we met the other night, and she's never been well liked there. I met her on one of the bike rides up in Marin. She wasn't at the hospital when I trained that group."

"So she hangs out with the women we met tonight?" Jamie asked, trying to fit the snotty woman into the friendly, relaxed group that she had just been introduced to.

"Kinda. She doesn't really fit in with this crowd, but she was in the group when I volunteered to train them for the ride."

"You trained the whole group?"

"Yeah. Nothing like I did with you, though. I just helped them with the actual riding part. Many of them were mountain bikers, and they were unfamiliar with road bikes and how to get ready to do a long trek like this. We used to go on long rides on Saturday and Sunday, and then get dinner together. Tiffany knew how I was—without a doubt," she insisted. "Everybody knew that I was sleeping with Alisa. Remember her?"

"Yeah," Jamie smirked, the image of the lovely Latina kissing Ryan after the off-road ride on Mt. Tam still burned into her brain.

"Right. Anyway, Tiffany knew that, but she still tried to get me to go to her apartment after almost every dinner. I went a few times—really—just a few times," she insisted. "I was still seeing Alisa, and she knew that, and everything seemed fine. When we got our registration packets for the Ride she asked if we could bunk together. That seemed fine with me; I actually didn't care who I slept with. Well..." she blushed a little and added, "You know what I mean. But she obviously thought it meant something. The night before the ride ended she told me that she wanted to be exclusive with me. I didn't feel the same way at all, and I tried to explain that in a gentle way, but she was furious! I actually thought she was going to hit me! I went to watch the entertainment, hoping she'd cool down, but when I got back to the tent all my stuff was lying in a heap outside the flap. Luckily, they let me sleep in the medical trailer, or I would have had to sleep on a picnic table!"

"Wow, she was furious," Jamie agreed, her brow furrowed slightly. "Did you ever talk to her again?"

"I tried to," Ryan explained. "When we got home, I called her several times, but she never picked up, and she never returned my calls."

"Her loss, Sweetie," Jamie decided. "If you didn't love me, I'd still want to be your friend. I'd take whatever little piece of yourself you'd give me."

"I give you everything, Jamie," she said with a very serious look on her face.

"I know you do, Love," she agreed completely. "And it's the best gift I've ever received. Someday I hope I'm worthy of it," she added, leaning in for a gentle kiss.

"I don't give myself away to someone who I don't think is worthy of my love," Ryan assured her. "You're the woman I want…heart and soul."

"That's just what you've got," Jamie agreed, tasting the rich chocolate that lingered on her partner's smiling lips.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

They began to make the rounds, saying goodbye to everyone they recognized. Each stop took a few minutes, as Jamie snapped photos of people she hadn't yet captured. They had all obtained their commemorative booklets for the closing ceremonies, and they had their new friends sign the booklets as a keepsake. The stop at Karen Joncas' table took quite a while as they chatted companionably. Jamie got a particularly cute shot of Karen sitting on Ryan's lap, giving her a big kiss on the cheek, as her grinning lover smiled right into the lens.

When they got up to leave, Karen said, "I hope you can cook, Jamie, because 'slim' here is down about 15 pounds by my estimate." She gave her friend a pat on the butt to test her theory. Grabbing a handful she amended her estimate, "Maybe 20!"

Ryan laughed and admitted, "I am a little low. I've been having a tough time getting filled up, especially in the mornings." She was about to add something to her statement when she caught the glint in her former lover's eyes. "Don't even go there!" Ryan ordered, playfully cuffing her on the head.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

When they had spoken to everyone around the dining area they made their way to the stage. Ryan loved this night, as they were all able to say thank you to the volunteers and organizers of the ride. But it was always very bittersweet, and she knew this year would be worse than most, since she had been so emotionally vulnerable throughout the week. The tears flowed freely when the various crews were introduced for a rousing thank you. Jamie's hands were sore when they had finally thanked the hundreds of men and women who had made the ride the wonderful experience that it had been.

They walked around the camp perimeter one last time, hand in hand, silently soaking up the experience. When they returned to their tent, the emotion was still too high to speak, so they held each other for a long while, each reflecting on the experience. Finally, Ryan gave her partner a chaste kiss on the cheek, mumbling, "It's too tempting tonight," before she rolled over with her back to her Jamie and went to sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Her eyes opened slowly as dawn broke over the mountains. Disoriented, she shook her head to try to get her bearings; nothing felt familiar as she tried to fully open her eyes in the still-dark tent. Her face was resting on something smooth and warm, but it didn't feel quite right. She knew she was intertwined with her lover, but the parts didn't seem to be in the right order. Finally adjusting to the light, she could begin to make out where her head lay-- on a firmly muscled thigh--and she felt with her hands until she could discern that Jamie was indeed facing in a different direction, with her head resting on Ryan's abdomen. That's why I have to pee so badly, she thought absently.

As soon as this thought hit her cerebral cortex she shot straight up, causing Jamie to do the same. They sat, wide eyed, facing each other for a few seconds, trying to make sense of their strange positions. Finally, Ryan just shook her head, as she struggled to find her shower gear. "I need a honeymoon," she grumbled, as she crawled out of the tent into the misty dawn.

When Jamie had packed up the tent for the last time, she stood in line to put their gear on the correct truck. They were going to the closing ceremonies, but a number of people were not, so there were different trucks for the different destinations. Since their things would be delivered based on last names, they decided to put Jamie's name on everything. That way, when Mia came to find them, their gear would be together.

Ryan came back from the shower looking a little grumpy. Jamie pulled her aside and sat down with her at a picnic table. "You know, I think Mia would understand if we just went home tonight. We could be in Pebble Beach by midnight," she said optimistically.

Ryan just shook her head, still wearing a little frown.

"We could go to a really nice hotel in L.A. We could stay for a couple of days if you want," she offered. "That would be a perfectly acceptable compromise."

The frown remained, as the head shook again.

"Tell me what you want, Sweetheart," she cooed, running her fingers through the dark tresses.

That brought a smile to the grumpy-looking face. "You've never called me that before," Ryan said shyly as she looked up, blue eyes twinkling through dark bangs.

"Well you are my sweetheart," she soothed as she pulled Ryan's head down to kiss her thoroughly. "Now tell me what you want, and I'll do my best to give it to you."

"I want to be with you, and I want to wait," she moaned as she leaned into the contact. "My head's all clouded. I don't think very well when I'm turned on all the time. I don't have enough blood going to my brain," she pouted.

"You poor baby," she murmured softly. "Your head's all cloudy and confused, huh?" she asked, gently kissed the cloudy head.

Ryan just nodded slowly, still refusing to meet Jamie's eyes.

"Are you all grouchy 'cause you're horny?"

Another little head nod.

"How can I help you? I'll do anything you want," she soothed into her ear.

"Anything?" she said as she pulled back and allowed her blue eyes to search Jamie's carefully to determine her sincerity.

"Anything."

"You'd go back in the tent and have sex until they threw us out?"

"Absolutely," she said sincerely. "And when they threw us out, I'd take you to the first motel we passed and do you until you begged for mercy."

"Okay, you don't have to do anything," she said rather happily as she stood and stretched.

"What?" Jamie asked, truly confused.

"I feel better knowing that you take me seriously. As long as I know you would go out of your way to make me feel better, you don't have to," she said, as though this was an obvious answer.

"Has anyone ever told you that you were a little quirky?" Jamie teased.

"Get in line," Ryan said as she narrowed her eyes in a playful glower.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

They left the campground later than they would have liked. Today's ride was only 70 miles, but it was fairly hilly, through lots of traffic, and they expected the wind to be in their faces the whole day. Ryan was still feeling a little out of sorts, and her demeanor was off enough to cause Jamie some serious concern.

When they approached the first pit stop, Jamie came over and put her hands on the broad shoulders. "Ryan, tell me what's wrong," she demanded.

She looked down at the ground for several minutes. Jamie wasn't sure if she would answer her at all, but she finally looked up. "I don't know," she said as she shook her head.

"Something must be wrong, Ryan. You've barely said a word to me since we left camp. Now tell me how you're feeling."

"I really don't know what's wrong," she replied with just a hint of an edge in her voice. "But I don't like to feel like I'm under a microscope, so just give me some space, will you?" Jamie's head jerked back at this totally unexpected rebuke. Her feet didn't want to move, so she stayed right where she was, still grasping Ryan's shoulders. But her grouchy lover shrugged out of her hold and stalked over to a group of trees, dropping to the ground dejectedly.

Jamie sighed heavily, shook her head just a bit and walked over to the line for the Porta-Potties. Ryan stayed where she was, just looking miserable. After she was finished, Jamie hopped on her bike and took off without even looking for Ryan. I really don't want to snap at her, she thought as she pedaled along, and I'm afraid I will if I stay close. It's obvious she's cranky about the ride ending…I guess she just doesn't deal with this much emotion too well. She had gone about two miles when she paused at the top of a small rise and saw Ryan, back in the distance, riding alone. She must just need to have some time alone to get a handle on how she feels, she thought. She'll probably be better by the next rest stop. And by then I can give myself a little pep talk so I don't get angry with her if she's not.

She didn't see her partner for the rest of the 16-mile trip to pit stop two. After getting a power bar and some Gatorade, Jamie sat down to wait. She felt a lot better than when she had left the earlier stop. She knew that Ryan was just having an off day, and she felt much more able to be supportive after giving herself a little talk.

After twenty minutes she began to worry. She looked all around the incoming riders, finally spotting the one familiar face that she would have preferred not to see. Nonetheless, she approached the woman who had taunted her about Ryan at the opening ceremonies. "Hi um…Carly, isn't it?"

"Yeah, hi…"

"Jamie."

"Right, hi, Jamie," she replied pleasantly.

"Did you happen to see Ryan on your way in?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"You know, I think I did," she admitted. "I saw someone off the side of the road by that hill by Point Mugu. I kinda thought it was Ryan, but that just didn't make sense for her to be taking a break there, so I didn't stop. Do you think she's okay?" she asked with real concern.

"Yeah, I'm sure she's fine," Jamie said with much more confidence than she felt. "Thanks for the info, Carly."

"I'm feeling really good today," Carly offered. "I'd be glad to ride back there and check on her."

Jamie was touched by this generous offer. "That's totally sweet of you, Carly, but if she really needs it she can catch the SAG van."

"They'd have to hog tie her to get her in that van, Jamie. If she's not here in a few minutes, I'll go back."

"Thanks," she said, as she let out a relieved sigh. "That's very generous of you."

"Hey, no big deal," she brushed off the compliment. "I should apologize to you for being bitchy on the first day. I was just jealous that you nabbed her."

"I understand," she said sincerely, as she grasped Carly's arm. "No hard feelings. I'll go look for her and let you know if I can't find her."

Ten minutes later Jamie spotted her in the distance. Carly was just getting on her bike to go back, so she thanked her again and sent her on her way. Ryan pulled in looking worse than Jamie had ever seen her. She was the color of chalk, her skin was sweaty and cold and she was shaking so badly that she could hardly stay upright.

"My God, Ryan!" she gasped as she helped her off her bike. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she moaned. "I just don't feel good."

"Let me help you sit down," she offered, placing her hand on her waist.

"I don't want any help," she snapped, her temper in good shape even though nothing else was.

"Ryan, we need to go over to the medical trailer," Jamie said as she tried to drag her along.

"Uh-uh," she said firmly as she stopped walking and dug her heels in to the dirt.

"What do you mean 'uh-uh'?" Jamie cried, incredulous that her normally reasonable partner was being so unreasonable. "You're going over there Ryan, and then we're gonna get SAG'd the rest of the way."

"Uh-uh!" Ryan said, sounding much more like Caitlin than herself. "I'm riding, and that's final."

With a heavy sigh the smaller woman sat down on the ground and looked up at her wobbling partner. "Sit down right here and tell me exactly how you feel," Jamie ordered, her patience beginning to flag.

Ryan heeded her wishes and allowed herself to collapse right at Jamie's feet. She hit the ground with a thump and immediately stuck her head between her raised knees, obviously struggling not to vomit. Jamie began to lightly run her fingers down her spine, trying to reassure her. It took quite a few minutes, but Ryan finally gathered herself enough to begin her story. "I just didn't feel right from the time I woke up. I'm tired and listless, and my stomach is upset. I threw up everything I had for breakfast just after the first pit stop." She paused to stare at the ground, "When you ditched me," she added quietly.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I didn't ditch you!" Jamie cried. "I felt like I was irritating you, so I just tried to give us both some space. You didn't act like you wanted me there, Ryan, but I'm so sorry you felt like I had left you."

"I was sick, and you didn't even care that I was sitting on the side of the road barfing my guts out," she said with a pout weighing down her lower lip.

"I couldn't be sorrier, Ryan," she soothed as she cradled her face with her hands. "I hope you can forgive me," she said. "I feel so bad that I wasn't there for you the one time that you needed me."

"I need you all the time, Jamie. I just needed you a little more than normal today," she said, her lower lip starting to quiver.

It felt like a vise was tightening around her heart, and Jamie struggled not to burst into tears. Her normally stoic partner was so terribly fragile and vulnerable that she just wanted to cradle her like a child and rock her until she felt better. "What can we do now?" she finally asked.

The fragile child remained for just another moment or two. Then Ryan's analytical mind kicked in, and she began to try to identify the needs of her usually responsive body. "I need a pretty long rest, and I need to force as much fluid down as possible. I really screwed up my electrolyte balance when I threw everything up and then had to ride without any fuel," she admitted glumly. "But if I can suck down some GU and keep it down I should be okay in a half-hour or so."

"What do you think happened?" Jamie asked as Ryan leaned back on one arm and sucked deeply on a bottle of Gatorade.

"I think I just woke up on the wrong side of the tent," she said with a wan smile. "The last day of the ride is usually hard, and I think I just let it get to me. I was feeling out of sorts, and I didn't pay close attention to what I was doing. But I think my big mistake of the day was drinking that energy drink they had at breakfast. I should have checked the carbohydrate level, but I'm guessing it was over the maximum I can tolerate, which is eight percent. If I drink anything higher than that, I always get sick to my stomach." Jamie checked her skin again and found that it now felt normal to her touch. "So I think I'm kinda bonking from not getting enough calories, plus add the too-sweet drink and you've got trouble."

"Well, you're looking a lot better now. How do you feel?"

"I feel better. I don't feel sweaty and clammy any more. But I knew I was in trouble when my bike shorts felt too big today. I don't know how much weight I've lost, but I couldn't really afford to lose any. I know that's the biggest problem."

Jamie put her arms around her and hugged her tight. "Are you mad at me for not being there for you?"

"No, I was being kind of a jerk. I don't blame you for wanting to be alone," she said as she stared down at the ground.

"Please don't think that Ryan. I thought you were right behind me. I just assumed that we needed a little break from each other. I would never leave you if I thought there was a chance that you needed me."

"Okay, let's just put this behind us and try to get through the rest of the day. I think I can go again."

"No, not yet," she insisted. "I want to make sure that drink settles in your tummy before you try again. I screwed up once today, and I'm not going to let that happen again."

Ryan leaned her head back and gazed at her lover with an appreciative glance. "You didn't screw up, Jamie. I'm kinda hard to be around when I don't feel well. It's really not your fault."

"You're never hard to be around, Sweetie. I just have to learn your cues a little better," she declared confidently.

"Well if you figure me out, be sure to tell my father," Ryan said with a small smile. "He's been trying for 23 years."

After another 20 minutes, they decided to give it another go. "I'm going in front of you to try to block a little wind," Jamie declared. "We'll get through this, Ryan. You and I.... together."

Ryan looked up at her with her first real smile of the day. "I know we will, Jamie."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The pace they kept was much slower than normal, but Ryan stayed right on her tail all the way to lunch. When they pulled off, she dropped right to the ground and stayed there until Jamie brought her lunch back. Jamie pulled her up just enough to be able to eat, and propped her up against her outstretched legs. Ryan got all of her lunch down, albeit slowly, and then she drank her own sports drink mix, getting down two full bottles before she announced that she was ready.

As they left lunch, Jamie looked around at the assembled crowd. This was their last meal together, and she felt a lump in her throat just thinking about it. Ryan noticed her expression, and she leaned over and said, "I'll miss this too," hugging her firmly.

"It's like the world's biggest family," she said as a few tears escaped. "There are the relatives you love, the ones you're not so crazy about, and the ones from out of state, who you don't see much, but you're all connected in a deep way. I never want to lose this feeling, Ryan," she said helplessly.

"You don't have to," Ryan insisted. "Some of these people are my closest friends even though I only see them once a year. Your family will be here next year and the year after that. There will be some new faces and some will be absent, but the feeling remains, Jamie, I promise you that."

She closed her eyes for a minute, reflecting on Ryan's words. "Thanks," she murmured. "That helped."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

They only had 30 miles to cover after lunch. On a normal day Ryan could do that in an hour and a half—max, but they stopped frequently—very frequently--along the way to drink from their water bottles and eat a power bar. Jamie was nearly obsessed with making sure her partner was well, checking her temperature at every stop and forcing her to drink until she needed to use the facilities. She was so focused on checking her mirror to make sure Ryan was following that she nearly gasped in amazement when she realized they were cruising down Ocean Avenue in Santa Monica. Turning away from the beach they headed towards Brentwood. Jamie had been to this area several times with her parents since they normally stayed in Bel Air when they visited Los Angeles, but she had always been in a car or an airport limo when they had traversed the winding, tree-lined streets on those trips. This was an altogether different experience, and she found herself smiling widely as they powered down the street.

Since the distance to be covered was short, the riders were bunched closer together than normal. A steady stream of riders passed them, quite a few turning in the saddle to give them questioning glances at the slow pace they were maintaining. But Jamie responded to each look with a smile and a thumbs up sign and the riders continued on their way. As they followed the pack her heart started to beat a little faster as they approached Century City.

This small, neat section of Los Angeles boasted a dozen high-rise office buildings, many restaurants, and a nice outdoor shopping mall—but that was all. It was really quite tiny, not more than four blocks square. Nearly every major law firm was either headquartered here or had an office in one of the high rises, and she could see the tower where her father's L.A. office was housed. She had learned on an earlier visit that the neighborhood used to be a part of the 20^th Century Fox back lot. Many productions had been filmed on the property, but when Fox overspent on Cleopatra, the Richard Burton/Elizabeth Taylor film, they found themselves in such a cash crunch that they had to sell the lot to developers just to stay solvent. The lot was cleared and the buildings went up quickly, transforming a quiet little tree-lined neighborhood into a bustling business district filled with BMWs and Mercedes.

Just shy of Century City they took a quick turn and headed towards the staging area—Beverly Hills High School. So here we are in 90210, she smiled to herself.

As they drew near, they were greeted by hundreds of family members and local residents, but the people were spread out over a very large area, and she struggled with her disappointment for a while. I thought it would be more special, she thought with a mental pout. It's really nice that some people came out though…I guess it's just to hard to get jaded Angelenos out of their own swimming pools on a lovely June day. Looking into her mirror she saw that Ryan looked pretty normal, although her fatigue was evident. This must be what she expected, she reminded herself. This is her sixth ride after all.

As they rolled into the athletic fields to park their bikes she did her best to put her disappointment aside and focus on Ryan. She never mentioned what the last few miles were like, Jamie recalled. And if it were going to be special, she would have teased me with it—just to keep me going.

Ryan actually allowed her to help get her off the bike, and it was evident that even the act of swinging her leg over the frame was an effort. They parked their bikes with all of the others and found a quiet grassy spot to lie down. It was only two; they were not due to begin organizing until three, so Jamie propped herself up next to the bleachers on the football field and Ryan put her head in her lap. She ran her fingers though the shiny tresses for just a few minutes before Ryan was sound asleep.

She studied her lover like a precious work of art, watching her steady intake of breath, seeing the little twitch of her eyelids, the slight pursing of her lips. She watched in annoyance as her dark eyebrows furrowed when a passerby was speaking too loudly and nearly woke her. Quiet! She wanted to yell, but that seemed a little counterproductive, so she held her tongue and just gave a small scowl to people who had the nerve to come too close.

Continuing to run her fingers through the dark hair, Jamie thought of how sad Ryan had looked when she felt that she had been deserted. If I've learned one thing on this ride, it's that my sweetheart needs a lot more care than she'll ever let on. I swear that I'll never ignore her again if she seems under the weather. She had learned a valuable lesson, and even though it was painful for both of them, she was grateful that she had been shown this vulnerable side of her stoic partner. She had learned that Ryan was truly a terrible patient. She knew her body better than anyone Jamie had ever met, but when it started to fail her she fell into an intense state of denial. Jamie vowed that she would pay better attention to the small signals and not let Ryan's brusqueness cause her to turn away.

Glancing around idly, a shiny object hidden inside Ryan's helmet caught her eye. She pulled the helmet over and tilted it to get a look as a laminated photo fell out. Jamie reached down and turned the small, concave photo right side up. Gazing back at her was a very attractive young man who looked to be in his mid-teens. A broad smile graced his friendly, open face. He looked fit and strong, and appeared to be on the verge of growing into a powerful body. His hair was a deep auburn, and the sun showed deep red highlights in the straight, medium length locks. His muscular arms were raised in a classic weight-lifter's pose; fists clenched, biceps tensed. He was standing with his legs slightly spread to support the weight that he carried upon his shoulders. That beaming weight was a young Ryan, no more than five or six years old. She mimicked the young man's pose, showing off her smooth, thin arms. They looked like they were having a marvelous time, and both wore the untroubled, carefree faces of youthful innocence.

Jamie stared at the photo for a long time, realizing immediately that the young man in the picture was Ryan's cousin, Michael. This must have been taken before Ryan's mother died, Jamie mused. And before Michael contracted AIDS, she added grimly.

There was something so terribly appealing about the twosome, that Jamie could not stop looking at the photo. It was hard to pin it down, but it was obvious that these two were more than cousins, more than friends. I don't think I'll ever really understand what this young man meant to her, she thought. But I know that he was one of the biggest influences in her life. Looking down at her sleeping partner she thought, I'm so sorry you had so much pain at such a young age, Sweetheart. She continued to run her fingers through the dark hair, wishing for nothing but peace and joy and love for the precious woman lying in her lap.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Ryan did not move from her position for a solid hour. At a little after three, they began to hand out special long sleeved t-shirts. The riders would parade down the street in groups, separated by color, so Jamie had to extricate herself from Ryan to fetch the same color t-shirts for them both. She lifted her head to wake her, but not a muscle in the tanned face flinched, so Jamie placed the dark head on the ground, jogged off to grab the shirts, and was back before she stirred.

She looked down at her and decided to do the one last thing that Ryan was obviously too ill to do for herself. Struggling through the assembled bikes, she found Ryan's and performed the simple task with love.

There was a lot of noise from the nearly three thousand people assembled and the plethora of announcements over the public address system, but still Ryan did not move. Jamie was beginning to worry when she finally stretched and groaned at 3:30 on the dot.

Jamie had replaced Ryan's head on her lap, and the blue eyes finally looked up at her groggily. "Where are we?" she asked through a parched throat.

"We're at the high school. Don't you remember?" she asked with concern.

"Oh, yeah, I remember," Ryan said as she closed her eyes again.

"We're going to be moving in a few minutes, Ryan. Can you get up?"

"Yeah. I just need another drink," she said as she smacked her lips together audibly.

Jamie scrambled up and fetched a water bottle for her. She sat up and drank the entire thing down without stopping. "I feel better now," she said sweetly. "Thanks for taking care of me," she added as she rested her head on Jamie's shoulder. "Last year's tent-mate would have kicked me as she walked over my unconscious body."

"Well your current and future tent-mate loves you completely," she vowed.

The ever-cheerful crew called them to order and organized them by t-shirt color. There were about 450 people in each color of the rainbow flag: blue, red, green, yellow, purple and orange. They had been assigned purple, and they lined up on their bikes with the others. "I've never been part of a flag before," Jamie said with a grin.

"I think you look adorable as a little rainbow stripe," Ryan pronounced, bending to kiss her. Her eyes were twinkling again, and her color was completely normal by the time they hopped back on their bikes.

They rode slowly--extremely slowly--until they reached the Avenue of the Stars. "What's the holdup?" Jamie asked, as the crush of riders around them became a little claustrophobic.

"Can't say from here," Ryan remarked casually. "I guess we'll find out when we round this corner."

As they negotiated the last turn of the ride, Jamie nearly fell from her bike at the sight before her. Their slightly elevated position at the crest of the street showed the massive throng below them, and as soon as they saw the crowd, the cheering and applause assaulted them. The six-lane major thoroughfare was the main road through Century City, and the nearly three thousand riders filled the massive street from curb to curb. The wide sidewalks were absolutely packed with well-wishers and family members. They were about three-quarters of the way back in the procession, and Jamie could see all of their fellow riders slowly pedaling up the street with the cheering crowd waving and clapping. The noise was overwhelming, and the emotion from the crowd fed the weary riders and brightened the spirits of every single one of them.

Turning to her partner with her heart thumping in her chest she cried, "You knew!"

"Yep. I knew," she replied with a blinding white smile. "But I wanted you to savor it for yourself."

"I love you, Ryan O'Flaherty!" she cried out as she threw her head back and howled with delight.

When they were no longer able to move forward, the street was filled with the multicolor jerseys looking very much like the world's largest rainbow flag. The announcer asked the crowd to welcome them home, and the noise grew even louder as Ryan turned to her and said, "Remember all those exercises I made you do on your pecs?"

Jamie nodded, a bit confused.

"Well, here's why!" she cried as she and every other rider picked up their bikes and held them high over their heads. Jamie fought back the tears as she grabbed her bike by the frame and powered it over her head. The emotion that flowed through the crowd was so strong that it was almost palpable. Ryan gave her a luminous smile, leaning forward just a bit, kissing her soundly, bicycles held high over their heads. "I'm so proud of you, Jamie," she said as the tears rolled down her beautiful cheeks.

Jamie just had to lower her bike to the ground. She had to wrap her arms around this wonderful woman right this moment. She hugged her with every ounce of her strength as she murmured, "You're my hero, Ryan," as she kissed her again and again.

Moments later they were drenched by all of the riders squirting their filled water bottles up into the air. Jamie had wondered why Ryan had insisted on throwing away their energy drink and filling their bottles with water, but once again she was glad for her preparedness. They squirted each other and shot their extra bottles high into the air, blowing off some of their excitement in the process. The cheers of the crowd were almost deafening as the sound reverberated off the towering high rises that surrounded them on every side. The applause seemed to rise in waves, flowing over the now energized throng like a gentle caress.

Ryan looked at Jamie with tears in her eyes as the speakers began to address the crowd. "You polished my bike," she choked out in a mixture of delight and gratitude.

"Of course I did. It was important to you," she assured her. "And anything that's important to you is important to me."

The crowd grew quiet, and Jamie saw the riderless bike being led forward by representatives from the various crews. She did not want Ryan to have to watch or listen to this in her weakened state, so she wrapped her arms around her and whispered right into her ear the entire time that the tribute was being read. She whispered how proud she was of Ryan for struggling through a very, very hard day. She thanked her for all of her help and encouragement in getting her ready for the ride. She thanked her for all of the tips she had given her on the way. She thanked her for the nightly massages that she had received. She thanked her for being such a good friend, and most of all, she thanked her for just being herself.

She pulled away as the speech ended. Ryan was crying hard, her shoulders shaking from the effort, but she perked up as they joined together to thank the crew who had made this ride happen. They all chanted "Crew, Crew, Crew," as the smiling men and women ran down the raised center platform, filling it for nearly two blocks.

A few more quick speeches, and they all joined together to sing 'America the Beautiful'. Jamie was sure that some people were not crying, but she did not see any of them. When the song was finished, everyone struggled to regain their composure for a few minutes, and then they started to mingle, trying to find friends and relatives who had come to welcome them.

Ryan was struggling to get her emotional bearings but as friends and former teammates approached them from all sides Jamie could actually see her normal mood return. After just a few minutes, Ryan was joking and laughing with the near-constant stream of people who stopped to wish them well and pledge to see them again next year.

They moved forward very slowly in the crowd, finally finding themselves about 100 feet from the huge stage that stretched across the wide street. Out of the corner of her eye Jamie saw a woman dash across the stage and yank the microphone from its stand. Tugging on Ryan's sleeve, she asked, "Isn't that your friend?…"

Ryan turned her attention away from the man she was speaking with and looked up to where Jamie pointed. "Yeah, that's Brenda all right. I wonder what she's up to?"

The impish-looking woman was hard to ignore even among all of the distractions. She had followed the style for the last day, decorating her bike helmet as many others had. But Brenda's look was quite distinctive. She had two Barbie dolls attached to her shiny black helmet, engaged in an act that Mattel clearly had not intended for the little plastic figures. Jamie had a hard time prying her eyes away from the happy-looking identical lesbian twins on Brenda's head, but her amplified words finally yanked Jamie from her musings.

"HEY!" she yelled at full volume. "Is this on?"

The bemused crowd yelled back, "YES!"

"Okay! Most of you don't know me, but there's a very special pair of women out here today. One of these girls has been a tremendous inspiration to me and to dozens of other people who are here today. She and her partner are tying the knot on Monday, and I want you all to join me in wishing Ryan O'Flaherty and her lover Jamie the very best from everybody connected with AIDS Ride 6. Come on guys, let's show 'em that we love them!!"

As Jamie stared at Ryan in amazed silence the rest of the Lavender Menace ran onto the stage. Seconds later they were joined by each of the teams Ryan had trained over the years. By the time two women from the crowd grabbed the stunned lovers and dragged them up to the stage, there were at least 75 people packed onto the platform.

Jamie had never seen her partner so overcome with surprise. Ryan actually looked frozen as she was pushed along the group, receiving a hug and a kiss from each of her friends and training partners, but as the minutes wore on she loosened up a bit and started to enjoy herself.

The crowd still packing the street was thoroughly taken with this spectacle, and even though most of them did not know anyone on the stage they quickly joined in the fun, clapping and yelling out their congratulations.

Someone found the musicians that had played 'America the Beautiful' and convinced them to come back up on stage, instruments in hand. A few instructions from Brenda, and they launched into the requested song. As the crowd heard the opening chords, they began to join in until everyone was singing:

Brenda knew Ryan rather well, and she shoved the microphone into her hand, urging her to sing the lead. Ryan hesitated for just a moment, but when she saw Jamie's dancing green eyes looking up at her she accepted the microphone and sang:

The crowd joined in for the chorus once more, the ranks of singers swelling as more and more people got in on the fun.

"Yeah…yeah…one more time," Ryan sang soulfully, sinking to one knee in front of her blushing lover.

Jamie dropped onto Ryan's leg and tossed her arms around her neck, leaning in for a very public, very enthusiastic kiss. The crowd cheered loudly, demanding more. As Jamie pulled back slightly, Ryan's dancing blue eyes twinkled impishly as she said, "Can't disappoint the crowd now, can we?"

The beaming smile and little head shake were precisely the answer Ryan wished for. Several more joyous kisses followed, with Jamie finally leaning against her partner as she vowed, "I've never been happier in my life."

"You ain't seen nothing yet, Love!" Ryan promised as she wrapped Jamie in her arms and gave her a kiss that satisfied both the cheering crowd and her beaming lover.

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