Full of Grace
Part III (Conclusion)

With the sun just waking and shining brightly, Jean Howard pulled up to her daughter’s house. She stretched within the confines of the car, feeling the tiredness due to the early morning hour. It looked quiet from the outside, but looks can be deceiving. The woman had learned that the hard way over the past few months. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the unexpected and switched off the car with a flip of her wrist.

With a blanket wrapped around her small frame, Gabrielle sat on the couch, mesmerized by the glare of the TV but not really seeing it. They were both early to rise, tired but snatched from the arms of further sleep by the familiar nightmare. She burrowed her nude form deeper into the blanket and yawned as her sleepy mind went over the events of the day before. The tiny voice inside, telling her that she wasn’t worthy of happiness, was silenced by Tara’s touch, at least for a little while. Still, the nightmare remained. It had to be a sign, letting her know that she couldn’t run or hide behind love that she didn’t deserve any longer.

‘She told me that she understands now, but I haven’t earned anything that she’s given me. I treated her like shit and pushed her away. In return, she held me; loved me; touched me; and God, took me to heaven and back. If revenge is what he wants from me, then he’s sure as hell getting it.’ Emerald orbs closed as waves of tiredness and pain lapped against her body. Balling her hands into fists, she tried to beat down the rush of tears that she could feel coming. They stung her nose and eyes as they came anyway, making her feel lost and alone. The petite woman longed to shout the injustice of it all up into the sky, but she settled for a discreet whimper. These feelings felt as though they were never going away.

Hot water beat down upon supple skin, and Tara scrubbed vigorously at her flesh as if trying to make it new. However, the water didn't penetrate it and neither did the soap. Guilt made her feel sticky and unclean. She hadn't traded one guilt for the other. They had been combined, making her feel all the dirtier. So, she scrubbed on. Fat droplets of water fell in her face from her dripping hair and pulsating shower head as she bent to rub clean new flesh.

Like an eerie echo, a disembodied voice whispered in her ear. 'Cheater. Traitor. You've never been there for her. Never!

"No!" She whispered huskily.

The weight on her shoulders became overbearing, pushing her to a kneeling position in the shower stall. The stinging hot water pummeled her back like little punishing fist, and soaked wet blackness covered her face as tears mingled with the droplets already falling. She was tired of crying; tired of hurting; and tired of hurting others. Sobs racked her frame. In between the tears she whispered into the water.

"So selfish. . .got to make it up to her."

She covered her knees with her arms and tried to stave off the shivering that shook her frame, despite the heat. Finally, reaching out, she grabbed the bar embedded into the wall and pulled herself up. On wobbly legs, Tara blinked the water from her eyes and hiccuped as the tears and sobs dried up. Switching the knobs off, she continued to stand in the damp stall.

"Just wanna hold her. Gonna make it all up to her," she said, barely convincing herself.

Tara stood there gathering courage as water dripped from her hair and body.

Angrily, Gabrielle wiped away the tears. Her philosophy had always been that 'things happen for a reason.' She almost snorted. 'If that's true, then someone should tell me what and why the hell this is going on, and I don't want to hear that bullshit about making us stronger.' She wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. After all they had been through, the fears and her parents, this could bring them down. A man bringing down a lesbian relationship, and it had to be a man she hardly knew. Her strawberry blonde head shook in disbelief.

Jean stood outside the door, rubbing her hands together for warmth. After squelching a yawn, she took a couple of deep breaths and decided to just dive in. Knocking softly on the door, she took a step back and waited.

Russet colored eyebrows scrunched at the ringing of the door bell. She didn't try to rack her brain to figure out who it could be. Wrapping the blanket around her naked form, she got up to answer it. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Mom?"

Jean smiled at her oldest daughter. "Hi, honey. I thought that it wouldn't hurt to come early."

Pulling the older woman into a fierce hug, she answered in a thick voice, "No, it doesn't hurt at all." Stepping back, she grabbed the bag at her mother's side. "C'mon in." Something akin to relief flooded her body. Maybe this is what they needed, a mediator of sorts.

They sat on the couch. Jean looked over her daughter. She saw the sunken cheeks and droopy eyes with hidden pain. Her heart cringed in empathy. Never did she want to see Gabrielle hurt for any reason. Turning to face her daughter, Jean reached out a hand to caress a soft cheek. Her chest contracted when the younger woman leaned into her touch. "It's bad isn't it sweetie?"

Closing green eyes, Gabrielle nodded. "I love her mom, but it hurts so much. What I did. . . Can you help?"

She continued to caress her daughter's skin. "I'll try sweetie." Jean reverberated with understanding. 'Whatever had happened has torn them apart. She doesn't even look whole anymore. They need to be together. They belong together.'

Gabrielle covered her mother's hand with her own. "Thanks mom." She gave the other woman a slow, small smile. "Um, let's get you settled in the guest room, and let me get dressed." She stood up and readjusted the blanket once more.

"Okay, but where's Tara?"

"I think that she's getting dressed."

Gabrielle grabbed the bag again, indicating silently for her mother to follow. They got to the front of the hall way before one of the bedroom doors opened.

With a squish under her wet feet, Tara walked out into the hallway intending to head toward the living room. Not bothering to look up, she closed the door quietly. Hearing a gasp, her eyes spotted two pairs of feet. With her gaze slowly moving up, she finally saw two women standing a few feet in front of her with flaming red faces.

Two of the Howard women had seen her naked. One was by proxy. Now, all of them had been initiated into the naked world of Tara. With her somber mood forgotten in the mean time, she sighed and decided to play it by ear. It was a good thing that she didn't embarrass easily. After all, this could be quiet the ice breaker.

Not daring to look at her lover, she looked at her lover's mother instead. Jean Howard's eyes looked everywhere but directly into baby blue. Finally, it seemed as if she decided on bare feet. Tara swallowed and decided to not even bother covering herself. "Uhm, Hi?" She said her voice a little higher than usual.

Jean took in a deep breath. 'Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! She's----' The older woman couldn't even say the word in her head. It wasn't like she hadn't seen naked women before. There were movies, and she was after all. . .a woman. But, this wasn't a naked woman before her. It was her daughter's naked lover, who she had se--- 'Ohgodohgodohgod!' She glanced over at her daughter, noticing for the first time the blanket wrapped around her form. 'She's nak---- too!'

Her eyes rolled in her head as she looked from one to the other. 'Okay, Jean get a hold of yourself. C'mon, yes they have sex. See, I knew you could say it.' She shook her head and realized the silence that had surrounded them. 'Did somebody say something?' Running back in her memory, she distinctively remembered a hi.

"H-hi?" Deciding to try to relieve some of the awkwardness, Jean tried to change the subject. "My goodness it's cold."

Tara raised an eyebrow. Then peered down her body and followed droplets of water down the slope of her breasts to her nipples that stood out to pert points. "Uh, yeah," she remarked before looking up again. The raven-haired woman cut her eyes toward the form of her lover, watching her do a guppy impression. She tried to get her brain to send signals to her body to move, but it was rooted to the spot.

Gabrielle shook her head in disbelief as her mouth snapped shut. 'Well, this day is starting off weird. I went from crying to, to---this. My MOTHER is standing here looking at the woman I sleep with, who just happens to be naked. I could go to a psychologist for this alone!' An ungraceful snort exited her lips, causing two sets of eyes to glance her way. She covered her mouth to keep another one from coming out and glared at the tall form of her girlfriend. With a nod of her head toward the direction of the bedroom, she silently told her to move, but she didn't budge. It was clear other tactics needed to be used.

"Um, T? The bedroom is that way." Gabrielle pointed to the closed door and almost smirked when blue eyes narrowed in her direction.

The familiar voice galvanized the taller woman into action. 'Is she making fun of me?' Her head turned looking at the closed door, and she decided to play along.

"Oooh, you mean that door, but I was coming out. . ." She looked from one Howard to the other, and they didn't seem to be laughing. "Yeah, uhm, that room." Turning and giving the other women a prime view of tight buttocks, she walked quickly into the bedroom.

Gabrielle turned to her mother. "Ah, Mom? You know where you're sleeping. I'm gonna go put some clothes on." Just as quickly as Tara left, the younger woman followed, behind the bedroom door.

Jean stared at the door then glanced down the hall. Walking slowly toward her destination, she murmured to herself, "Well, I'm certainly up now."

Gabrielle looked around the room for Tara and finally spotted her against the far wall with a chagrined look on her face. Dropping the blanket, she walked up to her lover, trying to keep the look on her face even. Inquisitive blue eyes looked down at her.

"Uhm, I was coming to talk to you. I didn't know. . ."

She was silenced by a shake of the strawberry blonde head. The petite woman leaned into her lover, burying her face into the fragrant neck. Her body shook. Tara's eyes widened in surprise, and she rubbed her lover's naked back in an attempt to comfort. That's when she heard it, the snort. Pulling away from her body, blue eyes peered into a face streaked with tears and a mouth slightly open with laughter. Green eyes opened and looked into the taller woman's face. It only made her laugh harder.

Tara gathered her lover in her arms again and chuckled despite herself. After a few moments, the laughter died to a giggle.

"Oooh boy, so what did you want to see me about?" The strawberry blonde asked with a voice still filled with mirth.

Tightening her arms around her prize, Tara answered, "I just wanted to do this." She squeezed her lover fiercely but gently.

Her breath hitched with emotion. "You say and do the sweetest things. I don't know if I deserve you." Gabrielle wrapped her hands around broad shoulders, returning the hug before familiar feelings pushed her away.

Tara swallowed as guilt tried its best to choke her. "No baby, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you."

Feeling the stiffness in the younger woman's body, Tara let go albeit reluctantly. "Um, we'd better get dressed before your mom comes looking for us."

Gabrielle stood her ground, staring into azure eyes. She touched a sculpted cheek with a finger before saying, "Yeah, we'd better."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jean got comfortable on the couch. Hearing a door close, she looked up to see two forms heading for her. They sat on opposite sides of the older woman. She looked over at Tara and couldn't resist the urge to smirk and meddle.

"Now, that's the Tara I know." An impish part of her enjoyed the way the young woman's eyes widened. She heard her daughter give an exasperated sigh before the obligatory, 'Mom!', came out of her mouth. "Oh, shush Gabby. I was only teasing the girl." She was relieved to see a smile light the darker woman's face. "Well, now that we've got the morning started, how about breakfast? Banana pancakes?" Not waiting for an answer, she got up and made her way into the kitchen.

The two woman blinked, turned toward each other, then blinked again. "Banana pancakes it is," Gabrielle quipped.

Tara pursed her lips before asking, "Should we go help her?" She got a green glare in return. "I'll take that as a no."

After a brief moment, silence lapsed between them. Neither one had moved. Before this all had happened, they gravitated toward each other. Now, the empty cushion lay between them. Tara reached for the remote in hopes of filling the quite gap. They had nothing to talk about because all things seemed to lead back to the subject her lover didn't want to discuss.

She had told her that she now understood. Part of her did, but it still hurt, seeing the walls go up. 'It doesn't matter how I feel because she's the one in trouble, in pain. I can't continue being so selfish. Look at what I almost did.' She wanted to get the better of the voice that mocked her earlier. 'I will be here if she needs me, and even if she doesn't, I'll still be here.' With all this in mind, she still didn't move to touch or hold her, knowing eventually that the other woman would stiffen and pull away.

Gabrielle scanned her tall lover's profile from the corner of her eye. The camaraderie that they used to share was there if only for a moment. She couldn't remember feeling so light in a long, long time, but it wasn't right. Grief weighed down her blighted soul, and she tore her eyes away. None of this felt quiet right anymore.

Jean stood in the doorway unobserved by the other two women. It left her free to watch them. They didn't touch like she had seen them do at her house a while back, and they barely glanced at each other when before the taller woman's eyes seldom left her daughter. Something was terribly wrong between them. It was as if the real Tara and Gabrielle were hiding somewhere behind emotion that she had yet to put her finger on.

Announcing that breakfast was ready, the older woman continued to study as the other women ate silently. There were forced smiles and obligatory comments but nothing of substance showed itself.

The silence was broken when Gabrielle announced, "We'll take care of the dishes mom." Jean watched on, as one behind the other, they entered the kitchen, carrying the dirty dishes. A few minutes later under the pretense of taking more dishes in, the older woman entered the kitchen quietly. What she saw broke her heart.

A large hand found purchase at her daughter's back, and she could only guess that it was a gesture of comfort and needed contact. She continued to observe as the muscles in her daughter's back stiffened, and the hand fell away. She thought that she saw the raven head hang in defeat as a sigh traveled through the air. Deep down, she knew now that her daughter had to be in intense pain to spurn the touch of the woman she loved.

Gabrielle had always been the strong one, looking out for her sister and even her mother when she thought it was needed. Still, at this moment, Jean realized that her eldest needed someone to be strong for her, listen to her, and see her pain for what it was. The only question was would she open up to her where she obviously wouldn't to Tara?

The day was filled with gaping silence and mock conversation with comments from the weather, the drive from Gary, to the state of the world. The two women played at conversation, despite the closeness that had been shared the day before. That was until Jean had enough of the superficial banter.

"I talked to Lil, Gab."

A pair of green eyes shot to hers as a pair of blue ones shined with questions.

Never being one to beat around the bushes a lot, Jean pushed the door opened wide. "She said that you almost fell apart over the phone. Something about Tara hating you and not being able to take the pain."

Tara sucked in an audible breath and looked at the shocked face of her lover.

Jean waited, knowing the pain she was about to cause but also knowing it all had to get out in the open.

Gabrielle's breath rattled in her ears along with the quick pace of her heart. She tried to retreat into herself, but she couldn't break away from her mother's penetrating stare. Sweat trickled down her back, and small hands felt clammy against each other. She rubbed them against her pant leg. Licking her upper lip, she answered. "Uh, mom, I really don't want to talk about this. Please?" She added with it sounding like a heartfelt sob.

"Gabrielle, honey. You must see that you can't handle this all by yourself. It's okay to lean on someone. It's okay not to be the strong one for once."

"No! You don't know----"

"Then why don't you tell me?"

"Please no, I can't," she sobbed through quivering lips.

Tara watched on, feeling helpless. She went by instinct and reached out to grasp a small hand in her larger one. Gabrielle smacked the hand away, refusing to acknowledge the comfort. Crystal blue eyes turned to her lover's mother. 'Help me. Help us, please,' they said. Jean nodded her head in answer.

"Gabrielle, please?"

The strawberry blonde covered her ears with her hands. "No, don't touch me. Just-just leave me alone!" Getting up clumsily, she ran for the bedroom.

Tara looked from Jean to the retreating form with her heart in her eyes. Blue eyes were lost as they looked around for some sort of inspiration, and then she felt a hand on her knee.

"Give it some time. I know she needs you."

"Oh, God." She whispered as new tears started to fall. Lunging forward, Tara took the older woman in her arms and cried on her shoulder. The older woman's eyes rounded like saucers. Never did she think that the woman she saw so determined and strong willed some months ago would fall apart in her arms, shaking in her vulnerability. Curling her hand in the raven head, she shushed the crying woman.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's too much for her to deal with Tara. It's going to spill out because she doesn't have a choice. We need to work together and get her some help."

"I've been so stupid. Should of been there for her. So, stupid," she cried.

Jean closed her eyes and wondered what type of pain this woman was dealing with. She could only imagine. "You can talk to me. I'm here, and it may make it easier to talk to her. I-I know we've had our ups and downs, but I know that she loves you and that you make her happy. I would do nothing to ruin that. I am here for you too, Tara."

With the new tears, some fissures had formed; within Jean's arms, larger cracks opened; and within minutes, the dam of emotion broke, and she spilled all. Jean listened with an unbiased ear as the woman told her about the tingling feeling that she got when her Red was in trouble, the fights, and her step away from infidelity. She listened to it all. They talked through most of the night, while a lone figure huddled in the bed, a prisoner to her own thoughts.

Gabrielle re-wrapped the covers around her clothed form. Her body rocked back and forth, and her teeth chattered from the cold coming from the inside out. 'I thought she of all people would understand, but none of them do. I murdered him dammit! To be with her! How do I know it was the right thing to do? How do I know? I wish they could just understand.' A little voice way back in her head whispered, 'How would they know if you don't tell them. How?'

"Ohgod, ohgod!" She breathed hotly into the empty room.

Sometime during the night, Tara joined the still form in the bed. Words reverberated in her head, 'You're only human. Hold her, no matter how hard she fights. She wants you too. You love her what did you expect to feel? Don't tell her about the bar right now, just wait until she sees past this.' With these thoughts in head and many more, she feel into a restless sleep.

In the early morning hours, Tara was awakened by a scream in combination with knocking at the bedroom door. She yelled, "Come in!", and reached for the thrashing, screaming form beside her.

Gabrielle fought her invisible attacker then grabbed her abdomen as she screamed one last time. Then blissfully, she felt strong familiar arms wrap around her. She sighed and sagged her body into the one holding her. Her breathing refused to quiet as she sucked in breath after breath, and on one breath, she breathed in a familiar spicy scent. Knowing instantly who the arms belonged to, she fought the embrace. "No! Let me go!"

Tara looked at Jean from the vantage point of the bed. It stung to feel the woman she loved fight her, but she saw the older woman nod her head. Remembering the words, she held on. Jean watched on, wanting so much to go comfort her daughter, but she relented for the sake of Tara.

Tara held on for dear life, whispering in her lover's ear and rocking the fighting body back and forth. Gabrielle hiccuped as her breathing returned to normal. She was so tired of fighting, of holding it all in, of everything. Her body caved in, going limp in Tara's arms, and her mind released the self-imposed trap that it had around confessions about one dark day if only just a little. She whispered huskily, "I killed him. Don't deserve you. I don't."

Tara glanced toward Jean with surprise, relief, and confusion shining in her eyes. She gave the dark-haired woman a small smile, spurring her on. Tara continued to rock her lover as well as whisper, "I love you, and I'm here for you. Talk to me." Still, the strawberry blonde whispered the same litany of words over and over again. It was a small one, but it was a breakthrough nonetheless.

Quietly, Jean went back to her own room, wiping away her own tears and murmuring, "It was something, if only a little."

For the second time in as many days, Tara felt small arms wrap around her as the slight form in her embrace fell back to sleep. She whispered a thank you to any god who was listening and sent up a prayer for the woman in the room down the hall.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Each passing day in the coming weeks were filled with equal parts awkwardness and revelation. Gabrielle revealed a bit more of her tortured soul, but Tara held silent only wanting to be there for her lover. They became closer as touches became more commonplace as did smiles and long looks. Jean got a front seat view of the link between them, and she reprimanded herself for initially denying her daughter such happiness. Tara was obviously good for her. They obviously belonged together no matter what the Church said.

Jean knew from the get go that she needed to get to know her daughter's lover. However, a lot more than that had happened. She learned to respect, endear, and care for the other woman in their combined effort to help Gabrielle.

She broke herself from the reverie and glanced toward the cuddled couple on the couch as they giggled at some antics on the TV. She smiled inwardly. For an old woman, she had come here and learned a lot from these two. Love and strength came in different forms, and she believed she had just about witnessed them all here in this house alone. Hating to interrupt the closeness between the couple, she did anyway by saying Tara's name.

Two sets of eyes glanced toward her. "Tara can I talk to you in the kitchen?" She looked down at her lover and kissed her on the forehead before turning to nod her head in acquiescence. Getting up, she waited for the other woman to follow.

The entered the kitchen. Tara hopped up on the counter and waited for the other woman to speak.

Jean rubbed her hands together. It looked as though she had a little confession of her own. "I hated to tear you away from her, but this needs to be said. I didn't come here to but in. I came here to help my daughter, and I ended up doing so much more. Again, I need to apologize because I was so wrong about you, but my eyes are open now."

Tara hung her head, trying to hide the rising blush. "I-it's okay Mrs. H. It was normal to act the way you did, but I'm glad you came around for Red's sake. If you hadn't, I wouldn't have had your help here, and I don't know what I would've done without you."

"Well, I can see that you love her and want to take care of her. What mother wouldn't want to help that along?" She chuckled lightly.

Tara offered her a smile. "Still, thank you."

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Yeah, anything."

"Have you told her how you're feeling about this whole mess?"

Tara rubbed her hands against her legs before looking up. "Uhm, I can't worry about me. She's the one in so much pain. This all happened to her not me."

Jean sighed. "Tara, don't you know by now that what you two do effects each other? I bet she hasn't even scratched the surface of what happened that day, so don't think it's all over. I still hear her crying in the early mornings. She needs to get help. You both do, so tell her how you feel. It could go a long way in helping her see that this can't be fixed with a snap of a finger."

She put busy hands in her pockets and chewed her lower lip. "Mrs. H, I want to, but I just don't know where to start. I figured by helping her the guilt would go away a little, but deep down I know it really hasn't. I just don't know."

"Would you be willing to go with her and see somebody about this?"

Panic rose, making her flush again. "You mean a doctor? I don't think I can. I've never—"

"Listen, do you see how you two are now?" She saw Tara nod her head. "But, I saw how you were a few months back remember? It's nowhere near that. Don't you want to get it back maybe even make it better?"

"Oh God, yeah I do. It just scares me a little y'know?"

"I know it does, but you've got to be strong. You've shown me how strong you can be, and all it would take is a little more. Just think about it."

"Kay, I can do that and maybe more"

Assuming that they were finished, Tara jumped down from the counter, but she had to do something before the went back to the living room. Grasping the retreating woman by the shoulder, Tara pulled her into a strong hug. "Thank you so much. She means so much to me."

Jean pat her on the back. "I know sweetie. I know."

Getting back to the living room, Jean kissed her daughter goodnight and made her way to the spare bedroom. Before sitting, Tara reached down to pick up the remote. She switched the TV off then turned on a nearby lamp. Smiling down at green eyes looking up at her questioningly, she finally sat in her abandoned spot.

Gabrielle scooted over a little to peer into her lover's eyes. She scanned them, looking deeply for unmentioned information and found apprehension. Taking a hand that she had slapped away so many times, she asked, "What's wrong? Did I do something? I'm trying and at least it's something that we can touch now. I mean isn't it?"

Tara swallowed before answering. "Yeah, we have come a little ways, but we need to talk Red, and I mean really talk."

The soft, small hand slipped from her grip. "Kay, I'll try."

Tara hung her head, trying to gather courage from deep within. She took several breaths in preparation then looked up into green and almost lost her nerve. That was until she got a nervous smile from her lover's lips. "Um, you know I've been trying to be patient with you, and I understand that you need some time. B-but in a way, I've been hiding from you." She moved her cupped hands between her legs in a nervous gesture. "I hurt too, and I've been giving to you thinking it will make my pain go away. But, it hasn't." A hand met her cheek, and she leaned into it.

"I-I should have been here. I felt it when it happened I think, and I knew something was wrong. If I had stayed home, I could have protected you from him. I could have been the one to stop him, not you. You seem so strong sometimes, but I know you Red. You wanna let go sometimes." She sniffed as tears began a slow trickle, making her voice thick, husky. "I should've been here to keep you from going through all this." The same hand traveled upward and wiped at the spilling tears.

Gabrielle listened on, silently as tears of her own threatened to come. 'How could I not see it?' She was brought back by her lover's continuing words. "I was such an asshole. I argued with you and tried to drag information from you to make myself feel better. I was so stupid. You don't know how stupid I was." She sniffed again. "I needed to tell you all of this because we need help baby." Gabrielle opened her mouth, about to speak. "No, no let me finish okay?" She got a nod in return.

"I'm sure you've told me a lot about what happened, and I know you think you murdered him. I know you think that you don't really deserve to be happy now. I know this, but I also know that there is so much more that you haven't or can't tell me. I can't help you with all of that Red. The only thing I can tell you is that I love you and that you killed him in self-defense. You hear it, but you don't hear it here or here." She reached over tapping her chest and head. "We need to go talk to somebody about this. The both of us." Tara took the hand from her face and brought it to her lips, kissing it lightly.

Gabrielle hiccuped, loving the sweet gesture. Eyes met and held, refusing to lose the connection that had been so recently rediscovered. Letting the silence stretch between them, she finally spoke. "You know I love you, so much, and I thank you for sticking around when I was making it so hard. Because if you had left, I would have fallen completely apart." Her small, wiry arm snaked around her lover's neck to tangle in dark tresses. She pulled Tara's head closer to hers with their lips barely touching. Tears that she had held at bay started to fall. Whispering, "I'm so sorry that I didn't see. So sorry. I'll do whatever needs to be done. I just want you back. I want us back."

Tara laughed happily as she pulled the smaller woman into her arms. She crushed their torsos together, trying to absorb her in one swoop. "I love you. You'll see. We'll get the help that we need. W-will you call tomorrow?" Gabrielle said a muffled 'yes' into her lover's neck.

They talked into the night even managing to laugh a little bit about old times, but finally, sleepiness got the better of them. Not wanting to break the contact, Tara let her sleeping lover use her as a pillow until her body started to protest. It was then that she scooped the still thin woman up and carried her to bed.

Later the next morning, Tara was awakened with the help of a muffled scream. She sat up quickly and wrapped the shaking form in her arms. Gabrielle clung to her, sobbing into her neck. She pulled away slightly and looked up into baby blues. "C-can you get me a phone book?"

"Um, you sure?" The auburn head bobbed a yes. Getting up out of the bed, Tara opened the bedroom door to find Jean waiting outside the other one. She gave the older woman a soft smile. "Uh, phone book." Jean smiled back and re-entered her room as the younger woman made her way down the hall. She smiled to herself. It was almost time for her to head back home, but there was one more thing she had to see through.

A few days later, Tara drove Gabrielle to her first therapist appointment and held her while she cried outside in the parking lot. She wanted to go in herself, but the doctor had insisted on seeing Gabrielle first. So, Tara drove home and waited for the phone to ring.

It finally did a little over an hour later. Not wanting to make her lover wait outside in the cold, she went into building to get her. Swallowing, Tara steeled her nose against the overly clean smell and the butterflies in her stomach. 'I'm gonna have to come soon and tell all. Might as well get used to it.' She spotted her strawberry blonde talking to the receptionist. A wave was enough to catch her eye. Gabrielle walked slowly toward her then sped up into a light jog. Tara could see the ashen face as she got closer. Reaching out her hands, she met her halfway. Concern colored her features.

"Hey Red, you alright?"

Before answering, Gabrielle leaned forward, planting a small kiss on her lover's lips. Pulling back, she nibbled on her own bottom lip. "Uh, I'll be okay." Seeing the doubt nest in the crystal gaze, she gave the other woman a smile. "No, I mean it this time. I will." Hand in hand they left the office. "Oh, she wants to start seeing both of us in about 2-3 weeks."

Blue stared down into green. "Okay," Tara said quietly.

Jean waited and watched out the living room window. Seeing the car drive up, she leaned back a little, not wanting to be seen. Still, she saw enough as the couple got out of the car and immediately linked hands. From her perch in front of the window, she could see the beginning of happiness in faces that held pain not too long ago. Turning, she headed out of the living room to the hall way. 'I need to get packed and find out what's going on with my youngest.'

The End for now.

Well, I told you to watch out for the angst didn't I? This one was hard for me to write, but I'm glad I did. Tara and Red, as you can see, will be okay. It's not over yet so don't get antsy. Alright, you know the drill. Feed me people. I just fed you. Drop me a line at Minerva.