Tempus Fugit

By Mavis Applewater

For disclaimers see part one.

Thanks to my beta reader Mary! Who I forgot to thank for working herself to the bone with the first two installments.

As always this is for Heather.

Part Three 1958

            We were still dancing to Elvis and Ricky Nelson along with Fats Domino and the Big Bopper. The big change in my life was that I now slowed danced to Doris Day with girls at Mabel‘s which pretended to be a little café, but everyone in town knew it was a gay girl bar.  The hot movies to see were Vertigo and Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I still had the hots for Elizabeth Taylor. I was happy at school, hated going home and I was beginning to wonder if my budding friendship with Connie might be a mistake.

            That first year away from home was the best thing that ever happened, and the first summer I went home sucked the life out of me.  I drove home full of life and bravado only to feel suffocated the moment I walked into my parent’s home.  Even if my high school experience hadn’t ended the way it did I would have felt the same way. I was no longer a part of this world. After that summer I either stayed up in Northampton for summer classes or I opted to do a little traveling; anything to avoid going home.

            During the early part of my sophomore year Ginny was becoming more and more persistent about my needing to get on with my life. There was a change in her tone. It was no longer self sacrificing. She began dropping not so subtle hints that she didn’t always sleep alone at night.  It hurt at first, but it also helped me with a growing dilemma. Connie and I were becoming closer and closer. Things were happening between us our emotions growing in a direction that neither of us had planned. I think I started to realize that I felt more than friendship for Connie the night we went to see An Affair to Remember together. Hey it’s a four hankie movie how can you not get emotional? But there was Ginny and no matter how much I was hurting Connie I just couldn’t betray Ginny.

            I resolved the problem the only way I could think of. I wrote to Ginny and told her everything. When Ginny wrote back she echoed what she had been trying to tell me all along. I needed to move on with my life. She practically demanded that I go out with Connie. This was made easier when she confessed that yes there had been others. Well she was in prison just what did I expect?

            Now that all of the guilt barriers had been lifted there was no reason for me not to explore my feelings for Connie. My roommate and I embarked on a sweet romantic and very short lived journey.  Funny thing was once all the angst of forbidden temptation vanished the passion we thought we felt quickly fizzled. 

            It was no small wonder that whenever Ginny’s name came up Connie went into a tizzy. I never stopped trying to help Ginny or writing to her. Just because we agreed that the romance was over didn’t mean I was ready to write her out of my life. My parents still wrote and visited her every chance they got. Dad went so far as to hang a picture of his kids in the barber shop. The picture was of all three of his kids, Sammy, Ginny and Me. No matter what did or did not happen between us romantically Ginny was a part of the family.

             I could see Connie’s point. Ginny, after all, was my first girlfriend and the first woman I had been intimate with. Her being a little jealous was understandable. Still Ginny was locked up in a jail cell half way across the state. I couldn’t even see or speak to Ginny. What did Connie think was going to happen? Did she think that Ginny would bust out, and sweep me off my feet before we started our life on the run?

            I hung in there and tried to balance my class load with Connie’s paranoia.  I was working my butt off to do well in school.  I didn’t need the drama of having to suddenly find a new roommate. Not to mention the talk it would cause. Even though special friendships happened now and then no one really talked about it.  Still everyone knew which roommates really didn’t need that extra bed in the room.  When the school year ended I didn’t want to go home and I didn’t want to spend the summer with Connie.  So I did a little traveling before taking on a summer class and getting a job.

            The break seemed to help the growing tension between us. When Connie returned in the fall things were better except instead of annoying one another we had somehow fallen into stagnation.  I don’t know which was worse the semester before when her fear of my running off with Ginny overwhelmed us or the calm that bored us?  It is never a good sign when you start making love out of habit instead of passion.

            “I love it when it is like this,” I inhaled the crisp autumn air late one evening. Evelyn and I had been studying at the library and I wasn’t in a hurry to return to my room.  “I could just stay out here all night.” I sighed happily.

“It is nice,” Evelyn nodded. “Can’t help wondering if your interest is in the stars or if you’re just avoiding spending time with your roomie.”

“Uhm,” I curled my lips knowing that as much as I trusted people I could never be certain how they would react if I told them the truth. Instead of answering I just kicked a few leaves about.

“Ellen?” She challenged with mischievous grin. “I thought things were better after taking a break over the summer. And before you start hemming and hawing. I’m not going to rat you out.  I know some of our classmates would be troubled. I must confess a few years ago I would have been included in that group.”

“Yeah, so what changed?” I carefully tested the waters.

“My sister,” she smirked. “Turns out she butters her bread on the same side. I was shocked at first. But it didn’t change who she was. I still love her. So, back to Connie.  Everything okay?”

“I don‘t know,” I glumly confessed. “For months we drove ourselves crazy. Or rather I drove her crazy.  Then when I finally gave in, it wasn’t all that.  First she was all jealous over Ginny. I even had to take down that picture of my family just because Ginny was in it.”

“Well in her defense, I can understand her point,” Evelyn nudged me. “I’m sorry but your ex-girlfriend is very hot.  And Connie is attractive but,”

“She’s very attractive,” I debated. “I don’t judge things on the physical level.”

“Are you sure you were a rah-rah?” Evelyn teased me.

            “I’ve got the pom-poms to prove it, Baby,” I boldly reassured her.  “I get Connie’s insecurity. That’s why I’ve done everything I could to reassure her. I took the picture down. I don’t bring Ginny up in conversation. I’ve been skating on thin ice ever since we started dating. What I won’t do is forget Ginny. I’m not going to stop writing to her or trying to help her just because things between us didn’t work out. I’m still her friend.”

“Good for you,” Evelyn complimented me. “Must make it hard though.  If the two of you had just broken up that would be one thing.”

“I get it,” I sighed wearily. “Trust me I get it.  Still the break over the summer helped. It’s just now; I don’t know how to explain it. There’s no spark.  Maybe I just need to try harder.”

“How much harder?” Evelyn shook her head.

“Beats me.” I groused shaking my head. “Come on we should head back. So did you ever find out why Helen bailed?”

“No,” Evelyn scrunched up her face. “I can‘t understand it. Ever since I was in junior high I’ve been working my butt off to get into one of the seven sisters. Smith wasn’t even my first choice. I wanted Bryn Mawr.  Kind of worked out that I didn’t get in there. My sister did and we were determined to attend different colleges.”

“Why?”

“We’re twins,” she shrugged. “And sick of being lumped together.”

“My God they follow me everywhere,” I stammered.

“What?” Evelyn shook her head. “Didn’t I mention Erika is my twin?”

“No,” I cringed.

“And you have a problem with twins because?” She prompted seemingly a little disturbed by my attitude.

“I don’t,” I quickly asserted. “Well just one. Ginny’s sister. The one she took the fall for.”

“That hottie is a twin?” Evelyn gaped.

“Are you sure Erika’s the lesbian?” I teased her.

“Positive,” she laughed heartily. “I don’t like to see myself naked much less another girl.”

“Would you have done it?” I questioned seriously. “Gone to jail for Erika?”

“In a heartbeat,” she answered without question. “Then again she would have never allowed it to happen. I have two other sisters and I have to say I’d do anything to save them. Again, I seriously doubt they would have allowed me to make the sacrifice.  Didn’t Ginny’s sister try and stop it from happening?”

“No,” I grumbled as we approached our house. “Laurie was the one who set her up. Now she pretends she never had a sister. She doesn’t even write to her.”

“That’s so twisted,” Evelyn cringed. “Like something out of Alfred Hitchcock. I thought Helen was a screwball.”

“No kidding,” I shook my head. “Bust your ass to get in here and then just drop out. Doesn’t make sense.  I mean I was a little thrown when I got here. Suddenly I wasn’t one of the brightest. It’s hard to keep up. Frankly it is one of the things I love about college.”

“Where else did you apply?”

“Penn, Syracuse and Stanford,” I shrugged. “This was my first choice.  I was a little miffed that Stanford didn’t accept me.”

“California would have been nice,” she theorized.

“I only applied because Ginny had applied there,” I confessed. “My parents made it painfully clear that attending college on the opposite of the country was out of the question.  Doesn’t matter they didn’t accept me and my reason for wanting to go there ended up in prison.  So are you and Erika identical twins?”

“Yes.” She drew out.

“Ever trade places?” I questioned as we took a seat out on the front porch.

“All the time,” she laughed. “We use to drive our babysitters crazy.”

“Ever do it with a date?” I was truly curious about that one.

“A couple of times,” she frowned. “That wasn’t as much fun as tormenting the babysitter. What’s up you want me to fix you up with my sister? You’re too late she’s madly in love. Supposedly so are you.”

“Yeah,” I groaned. “What to do?”

“I’d say break it off,” she volunteered.  “You don’t look happy. It’s not like you can’t meet someone else. I know that most of the girls here are straight still there is that percentage.”

“Oh trust me I’ve met a fair share of lasses around here that share my interest,” I confided resting my head in my hands.  “It just doesn’t seem right. I made her wait. And now that I’ve finally made my choice I can’t just dump her.”

“Is she the one you really want?” Evelyn pushed.

“I don’t know,”  I confessed with a halfhearted shrug.  “Thanks for letting me bend your ear.”

“No sweat,” she patted me on the shoulder before we finally dragged ourselves inside.

            The semester was great except for my constant worrying that my girlfriend was going flake out at any given moment. One afternoon just before Christmas break she was in a tizzy. “Where have you been?” She demanded when I entered our room.

“Trying to get my copy of Breakfast At Tiffany’s back from Blair,” I calmly explained holding the book up for emphasis.  “I hate loaning her things it takes forever to get them back.  Why did I miss something?”

“No.” She blurted out a little too quickly.

            “Okay,” I shook my head making my way over to my side of the room. I know it bugged Connie, but I needed to keep my space. Granted it was a small space but it was mine.  Connie was spazzing about something and she was lying to me. I hated it.  I just wanted her to say what was going on instead of making me guess.  There was nothing I could do. I just had to wait until she poked and prodded before demanding an explanation.  Ever since we became a couple Connie really did become less and less appealing.

“So have you thought about Christmas?” She threw out trying much too hard to sound casual.

“I told you that I’m going home,” I sighed sensing that my refusal to go home with her was just the tip of the iceberg.  “I haven’t seen my family much.”

“You could have visited them anytime you wanted,” she fussed.  “They don’t live that far away.  And you do have that car.”

“Connie I’m not in the mood,” I tried to dissuade her.  “I’m going to see my family for Christmas and that’s final. If you have a problem with that we can talk about it. But I’m not up for this game.”

“Game?” Connie fumed. “I only want to spend time with you over the holidays. I’m your girlfriend.  Or are you still waiting for little Miss Perfect to get sprung?’

            ‘Round four hundred and fifty seven of the same fight,’ I silently groaned.  “I’m here with you.” I stressed.

“And she’s up for parole in a few months,” Connie whined collapsing on her bed. “What are you going to do when she gets out?”

            ‘Finally!’ I silently screamed. Ginny’s coming up for parole in a few months and Connie’s worried. ‘I get it. What I don’t get is how Connie knows Ginny’s first parole hearing will happen sometime around next June? It isn’t like I’d bring it up in conversation.’  I blew out a terse breath deciding to deal with the matter at hand.  I sat down beside her placing a comforting hand on her shoulder before I began. “If and when she gets out I’ll be her friend,” I surmised.  It wasn’t the truth. I had no idea, what I was going to do when Ginny got out.  “She knows about you.  Hell she was the one who insisted that I go out with you in the first place.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Connie scowled. “You waited until she gave you permission. You have no idea how that makes me feel.”

            “No, I don’t,” I readily admitted hoping that she would just tell me how she felt.  She didn’t; she just stomped out of the room.  For a brief moment I felt a sense of relief. Maybe she’d just break up with me. Then I felt the familiar stirrings of guilt. The same feelings I felt back in high school when I needed an out with some guy. She came back several hours later pretending nothing that had happened.  She never brought up our holiday plans again.  Foolishly I let it slide.  I went home for Christmas, had a great time with my family.  The only curious thing was apparently Ginny had been writing to me only I hadn’t received any letters from her since October.  I wrote it off assuming that the prison staff hadn’t released her letters. It happened from time to time.  All the while I had a sinking feeling that when I got back to school it might be in my best interest to pick up my own mail. 

            Honestly my introduction to the world of lesbian dating had been unique to say the least.  My first girlfriend loved me enough to let me go. My second girlfriend was smothering me with her love.  I was curious to say the least to see what the future held.

Part Four 1959

            This was the year Fidel Castro became the Prime Minster of Cuba and my father saw it as the end of civilization. Of course this was the same man who believed the government pamphlet that said we could survive a nuclear attack by hiding under a table. The upside was Xerox had introduced the first paper copier. Truly a life saver for a young college student. Only trouble was finding one. Alaska and Hawaii became States and I was excelling in my classes. And February 3^rd would later be known as the day the music died. The only other dark cloud looming over me was the dull lake Connie and I were still paddling down.

            Connie was right I had no clue as to how she felt about things.  I begged her to tell me. She thought I should be able to figure it out on my own.  Then she just seemed to give up.  We settled into a routine.  It was weird, I no longer felt guilty. I just stayed with her.  I think my guilty feelings dissipated when I returned to school in January.  Ever since I started insisting on picking up my own mail, I got a lot more mail.

            I never confronted Connie over it.  Never flipped my wig. I didn’t want to know if she was bagging my mail.  School was great even if I felt as if my romance had been produced by Xerox. Every romantic moment we shared was just a photocopy of the day before. Some small part of me hoped that it would change.

            The really freaky thing was that before we started dating Connie was a blast and a half to hang out with.  The second we slept together it was like someone flipped a switch and she was a whole new person.  The person she became was a sneaky candy ass whiner.  It drove me up the wall. Yes, I was still friends with my ex. Yes, what happened to her inspired me to try and get into law school but for the love of God, it wasn’t like Connie didn’t have a past.  I made the mistake of mentioning that only once.  She wigged out and I boogied out of the room so fast I left skid marks. I never brought up her ex or the fact that she had been cruising Mabel’s long before we ever hooked up.

            “Hey Druette your major is Government isn’t it?” Tina, who was the newest member of our house, called out while I was hiding in the common room one night.

“Last time I checked.” I shrugged looking up from my book.

“That’s always surprised me,” Blair interrupted. “I would have guessed English by the way you just devour books. Speaking of which?”

“No, you can’t borrow anything.” I flatly refused tired of chasing the pesky brunette down for my stuff. “Tina you were saying?”

“I’ve been working on this paper and it just seems so far fetched,” she timidly began handing me the draft she had been toiling over.

“No, this looks good,” I complimented her after quickly scanning the paper.

“So, it’s true?” Tina gaped. “John Hancock was a rum runner?”

“Absolutely.” I confirmed still glancing at her paper.

“He was one of the founding fathers of our country!” Blair tried to argue appalled by the notion.

“It is why he became one of our founding fathers,” I laughed. “See you got it right here. The British were taxing him. He kept sneaking in wine and other spirits to avoid paying the tariff. Eight years before the revolution his sloop, the Liberty, was seized by customs officers.  He didn’t want to pay the tax and became a revolutionary.  You got it all in here. We fought the war because of taxes. After we won the country was in so much debt that our government started taxing things like alcohol which led to bootlegging.”

“So our country was founded on,” Tina almost laughed.

“Hooch.” I beamed brightly. My smile slipping when Connie entered the room.  “Among other things.”

“I swear the more I learn the more disillusioned I become,” Blair shook her head.  “But speaking of hooch.” She wiggled her brow.  “Anyone interested in a night out tomorrow?”

“Uhm,” I hesitated casting a glance over at Connie.  I hated that I just couldn’t say yes or no without checking with her first.

“We’re under aged,” Tina sputtered.

“Ah freshman,” Blair giggled. “It seems like only yesterday.”

“Or just last year.” I snickered. “There are places that we can go where they won’t care, Tina.”

“So, who’s up for a little road trip?” Blair encouraged.

“Sure,” Connie answered for the both of us.

            I didn’t end up going out the following night.  I had too much studying to do. The rest of the gang including Connie went out.  I found it odd that I rarely studied in my room.  The only time I had felt comfortable in my own room was when Connie wasn’t around.  “This isn’t good.” I groaned after I finished my studies and climbed into bed.

             I was still pulling my Nancy Drew act. I tracked down two women that I really needed to talk to. The first was an eighteen year old waif named Dotty Mazier. After seeing her mug shots and the photos from the hospital of the hard edged youngster I wasn’t prepared for the young woman who agreed to meet with me at the Blue Dinner in between her shifts. I was expecting the street thug I had seen in the grainy black and white photographs. Dotty’s age was the only thing I could give Laurie the slightest hint of slack for. At the time she didn’t look like she was a teenager.  When I met her she still failed to reflect her youth. Still the edginess was vacant.

“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” I offered sipping my coffee.  It was evident that her years on the street were behind her. Still there was a hint of bitterness lingering around her.  It had been an arduous task in tracking her down. I was more than a little surprised when I got a letter from her agreeing to meet with me.

“I have to be honest; when I got your letter I was ready to tell you to pound sand,” she coolly addressed me lighting up a cigarette.  “So what are you studying? Trying to be one of those do gooders who try to keep kids from ending up like me? Cause if you are then God bless you.”

“No,” I confessed stirring my coffee. “I’m trying to help a friend.”

“God Bless you even more,” she took a long drag on her cigarette while I lit my own. “If I had one friend looking out for me then maybe I wouldn’t have ended up on the streets. How can I help you?”

“All I am asking for is that you be completely honest with me,” I carefully began. “I hate bringing this up.” I apologized since it was more than apparent that this woman was trying to get her life together. “Could you tell me what happened back in December of ‘56?”

            “It was cold that winter,” she began seeming to drift away. “I hate the cold. I’m saving my tips so I can relocate to maybe Arizona or someplace like that. I had been on the streets for a few years living with my boyfriend.  Or should I say the bum who said he loved me, while he kept me high and sent me out to earn his paycheck.”

            I was shocked.  In my little cloister I never imagined that a child so young could have been forced into such depravity.  It was one of those times I realized I knew nothing about the real world.

            “So Clyde, that was his name, sent me out even though it was colder than a witch’s tit cause he needed money,” she continued her voice devoid of emotion. “When that fancy car pulled up I thought I had scored and could call it an early night. When I saw that the John was a woman I was thrilled. I figured I could let her fondle me a little bit and then I’d rip her off. I was a little afraid she might be some holy roller who wanted to talk some sense into me. Like that would have worked.”

“But she wasn’t there to save you soul,” I grimly noted.

            “Not this one,” she frowned. “She was a piece of work.  She wanted the full cookie ride. Fine I needed the money. I already had my hands on her purse not that she noticed. That chick was a freak show. She didn’t want to make out or anything just gropes me then out of the blue she cold cocked me. She was pissed off at someone. Lucky me I got to be her substitute punching bag. I didn’t even fight back; it wasn’t like it was the first time. I was just worried that Clyde would be pissed cause my face had gotten messed up.  In the back of my mind I thought good maybe I’d get a night off. She wailed on me like there was no tomorrow. I was hoping that there wouldn’t be. She started choking me and that’s when the cop showed up.  I figured little Miss Butter won’t melt in my mouth could talk her way out of it. That’s when I tucked her purse under my arm and reached for the door. I could have made a quick get away but the cop was concerned and came over to check on me. She was out of there.  That cop wasn’t half bad he even took me to the hospital; most would have just arrested me or kicked me to the curb. The judge sent me to Juvie. Met a nice lady there, Sister Steven, she was the one who helped me get my act together. That’s the whole story.”

“Thank you,” I nodded as I began to lay out my photos. “I just need to ask you a couple more questions then I’ll get out of your hair.  Could you pick out which girl attacked you and which car she was driving?”

“The girl is the same in both pictures,” she shrugged before tapping her finger on the photo of Laurie’s car. “That’s the car. Saw the dent from my spot across the street. Kind of twisted but seeing a nice car like that messed up it kind of made me smile.  I figured serves that freak right.”

“Just one more question,” I promised laying down a sizable tip. “The person who attacked you did you notice if they were right handed or left handed?”

“Right handed.” She instantly confirmed.

“Are you sure?”

“If someone wrapped their hand around your throat would you forget which hand they used?” She offered without a blink of an eye. “What gives? I mean so far I’ve just confirmed what that snot nosed Detective said happened. How is that gonna help anyone.”

“These two women are identical twins,” I explained holding up the pictures. “The one who went to prison for what happened to you is left handed.”

“Son of a bitch,” she snarled. “What can I do?”

“A signed statement, preferably notarized explaining everything you just said might help.” I pleaded.

“You got it just tell me where and when.”

            When I got back to school Connie asked how it went which was a little odd. Whenever Ginny came up in conversation Connie was less than interested in the subject of my former flame. I told her and even she was amazed at how poorly Ginny’s case had been handled.  My next step was to try and track down the other victim. It was hard.  The report was sketchy as to how this woman and Laurie crossed paths.

            When I finally tracked her down I was giddy. She was just a little older than me and a graduate student at Columbia. Connie was ticked off when I didn’t invite her along for the road trip. No matter how many times I explained to her it wasn’t a pleasure trip she just didn’t get it.

            I contacted Miss Patty Markham and was relieved when she agreed to meet with me. I drove down to New York the following weekend.  “Miss Markham.” I politely greeted her at the coffee house she had suggested.

“Patty.” She corrected me as I took my seat.

“Ellen,” I smiled in response while extracting my notes and photos. “Thank you for talking to me. I know this must be unnerving having all of this brought up now.”

“Don’t sweat it kid,” she reassured me with a warm smile. I paused thinking that this woman was positively enchanting. I shook my head reminding myself that I had a girlfriend. “So this is about what happened in ‘56? Talk about a nightmare.”

“Could you tell me what happened?” I encouraged.

“It was Thanksgiving break,” she began with a soft sigh again I reminded myself that I had a girlfriend. “I had enough of my family and snuck out to hit the Kit Kat in Boston.”

“The gay bar?” I choked before smiling.

“Does that shock you?” She teased me with a knowing grin. “I wouldn’t think that it would.”

“No it doesn’t,” I confirmed her suspicions. “You were saying?”

            “Yeah the Kit Kat, great place,” she said. “Well I was there for about a half an hour when this total hottie comes in. She looked a little young, but still you never know. I had been watching her since she waltzed through the door. Then she sends me a drink. I thought I just found my ticket to heaven. She introduced herself we drank a little more and then she invited me for a drive. I knew what it meant. But hell where else could we go. We ended up parked in her Chevy down by the Charles. Everything was just dandy until . . . I never saw the slap coming.  After that she just went wild. At first I thought she was a closet case who hated all of us because she couldn’t accept who she was. I thought she was going to kill me. For the first time in my life I was happy to see the cops pull up. Not that they were any help.  They pulled their usual routine pulling us out of the car checking our ID’s, questioning us over and over again and writing down the plate number and our names. They didn’t care when I told them that she attacked me. They just told us to hit the bricks adding a few choice words about us before driving off leaving me alone with that psycho. I could still see their taillights when she demanded I get back into the car. I told her to fold it into three corners and shove it where the sun didn’t shine. I took off running; thankfully the hospital is just over the hill.  The doctors called the cops. This Detective Jarworski shows up and treats me like a criminal. I felt like dirt. I took  a taxi back to club, got my car and tried to pretend that it had never happened. A couple weeks later the same Detective shows up at my parent’s house. Suddenly he’s interested. I wasn’t. I just wanted to forget until he threatens to tell my parents what happened. He took me to the station and made me sign a statement. I kept waiting for him to show up again, but I never heard from him again. Until I got your letter. Kind of freaked me out.”

“I’m sorry that you went through that,” I choked out placing the pictures before her. “I just have a few more questions and then I’ll leave you alone. You said the girl introduced herself what was her name?”

“Virginia.” She sneered.

“Could you look at these photos and tell me which one of these girls was Virginia and which car you were in?”

“Are you telling me that there are two of them?” She shivered. “I can’t tell one from the other but the car I remember a big ass dent in the back.”

“One more question I promise,” I sighed wearily. “The woman who attacked you do you know if she was right handed or left handed?”

“Right handed,” she confirmed. “I’m left handed and I always notice which hand people use. Kind of hard to miss when it is slapping you in the face. Where is this going?”

“This is Virginia Swenson,” I explain holding up Ginny’s picture. “And like you she’s left handed. She was also my girlfriend and at the time you were attacked she was at my house after having Sunday dinner with my family.”

“What were her lawyer’s smoking?” Patty spat out.

            During the winter of ‘59 right before Connie and I were ready to call it a day, I knew we had reached the end as one night we invited two friends from the poetry club back to our room. Blair and Tina were like minded souls. We opened a couple of bottles of cheap wine. When we emptied the first one I suggested a game of spin the bottle. Our guests were a little stunned, but since Connie didn’t object they went along with it. After our little party Connie and I realized that during the impromptu get together neither of us possessed a desire to touch the other, and it was the happiest we had been for almost a year.  So after the mini-orgy we decided to stay friends, but we weren’t meant to be a couple.

            We did end up becoming really good friends even after I met and hooked up with Carrie.  Carrie and I lasted almost two years and discovered what it was like to be in a real relationship, and I discovered more about life in the gay bars. A wonderful world I never knew existed where I could go dancing with women and when single could meet women.  I discovered dating and all the fun and pitfalls that went along with it. College not only provided me with the thirst for knowledge I had been seeking but also sated the long time craving to discover who I was. 

            During my four years at Smith never once did I sever my connection with Ginny.  We stayed constant pen pals and dear friends through thick and thin. At times I think I got to know her better than I knew myself. She would always be special to me. The only time I got angry with her was when she got into trouble.  It happened twice, once for having alcohol in her cell. I never found out what the second infraction was but it sealed Ginny’s fate. She was forced to serve the full five years.

TBC

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