Caeneus turned and grabbed Xena's arm to pull her from under the entryway. "Xena, this is my dear friend, Myrrah.

Myrrah's mouth dropped open, and she appeared stunned. She quickly recovered herself and extended a hand.

Xena assumed the woman knew her reputation, so she relaxed her shoulders a little, managed a crooked smile, and gripped her hand easily, hoping to present a less threatening image.

Myrrah's eyes twinkled at Caeneus. "This is XENA??!" Caeneus blushed and nodded. Myrrah put her arm through Xena's. "Nice to meet you, Xena. How did you manage to persuade Caeneus to stop here? We beg him to visit, but he so seldom does."

Xena gave Caeneus an irritated and curious glance. "It was his idea... I'm not into begging." The warrior couldn't remember the last time a woman's arm was curved around her own.

The woman glowed at Caeneus and seemed to melt with mysterious awareness which Xena couldn't fathom. Myrrah led Xena to a table. "Please... make yourselves comfortable. You'll be having dinner, of course... and will you stay the night?" Xena and Caeneus swapped looks, but, before they could answer, Myrrah's attention was drawn to a gorgeous, dark-skinned woman who came from the kitchen. She looked to be the same age as Myrrah.

"Philyra! Look who's here!" Myrrah cried.

Recognition and happiness blossomed on the second woman's face. She deposited her tray on the nearest table, to the surprise of those seated there, and sailed into Caeneus with as much enthusiasm as the first woman had. She kissed Caeneus resolutely and then looked deeply into his eyes.

The Warrior Princess smirked and looked around expectantly at the other women seated in the tavern. 'Whose next?!' she grumbled silently. 'Anyone else on intimate terms with him?!'

Philyra finally stepped back. She moved beside Myrrah who wrapped an affectionate arm around Philyra's waist. The women exchanged loving glances.

Xena's frown switched to puzzlement, and her eyebrow shot up again. Something inside her stirred.

Philyra spoke. "Caeneus! How wonderful! Just yesterday, Myrrah and I were talking about you!"

Caeneus looked at Xena. "Were my ears red??"

Xena scrunched her face, not yet certain of the dynamics at play here.

Caeneus took Xena's hand. "Xena, this is Philyra..." He chuckled. "She taught me how to fish."

Philyra slapped Caeneus fondly on the cheek. "It only took one lesson... some people come by it naturally."

Caeneus lowered his jaw and winked at Xena. "Yeah, some people do."

"Why are you two still standing? Sit down! What would you like to drink?" Myrrah pushed them both into their seats.

"I'll have port," Xena stated.

"And, I'll have..."

"Yes, we know... you'll have milk." Philyra tousled Caeneus's hair and hurried to the bar.

Myrrah sat down right next to Xena. The warrior could smell her perfume. "Caeneus, please say you'll stay long enough for us to catch up. It has been two winters since we saw you last. Let us prepare your favorite dinner... and we'll fill baths for you both."

Caeneus saw Xena's eyes widen, and he tried to read her expression.

Myrrah continued. "I'm afraid we only have one room still vacant, but it is our finest room. You're welcome to it... at no charge, of course."

Xena's eyebrow hardly moved. She waited for Caeneus to meet her gaze and let the corners of her mouth communicate her willingness to accept the offer.

Caeneus reached across the table and squeezed his friend's hand. "Thank you, Myrrah. Your hospitality is as warm and comforting as always." He seemed to reflect on Xena's face for a moment, then lowered his voice toward Myrrah in pretended secrecy. "But, if I may impose upon you, I have a request..."

"Anything, Caeneus." Myrrah's eyes sparkled, and Xena wondered at the depth of the friendship between them.

"Will you lend me the use of your kitchen so that I may prepare XENA'S favorite meal?"

Xena did a double take at him.

Myrrah smiled and extended her hand toward the kitchen. "Be my guest! I'll keep Xena company while you work." She rested her hand on Xena's arm.

Xena tried to stop Caeneus, buy it was to no avail. He winked and was gone.

Philyra brought mugs of port to both Xena and Myrrah. She sat down across from them. "Where's Caeneus?" She grinned at Xena when Myrrah explained what he was doing. "You're in for a treat," Philyra remarked. "Caeneus acquired his skills by studying with one of the most accomplished chefs in Athens."

"He studied cooking?!"

"Sure... Actually, that's how I met him. I taught dance at the Athens City Academy, and he was attending the Athens Culinary Institute." Philyra's eyes fogged over. "It was long ago. He was so young and comely and sweet and..." Myrrah cleared her throat. Philyra seemed to catch herself. "Well... he was somewhat different then. One day, my dance troupe performed at the same celebration which his class catered. We met when I snuck into the kitchen to pinch some of his delicious trifles. He caught me red-handed and made quite a fuss about it. But, he gave in and even let me have more when I gushed about how excellent his cooking was."

Myrrah leaned very close to Xena and said in a conspiratorial tone, "He can't resist flattery, you know."

Myrrah's warm breath against her hair caused the warrior's lips to part. Xena skipped a beat and said, "No, I didn't know." Flattery wasn't something the warrior had ever needed to resort to.

Philyra grasped Myrrah's hand. "Hush, Love. Don't disclose all his secrets."

The blonde frowned. "One piece of the puzzle can't hurt."

"Knowing you, Xena'll have them all before Caeneus brings the first course." Philyra released her lover's hand and pointed a warning index finger at her playfully. She returned her eyes to Xena and said, "Let me finish my story... That same summer at school, Caeneus taught me enough about cooking that I was able to open this tavern a few winters ago when I couldn't dance any longer. He made me pay for the lessons, by the way."

"That doesn't surprise me," Xena grinned.

"He agreed to give me cooking lessons, if I'd teach him how to dance. Somehow, he also talked me into teaching him about fish." She paused thoughtfully and looked up at the ceiling. "I don't think he ever paid me back for that lesson, come to think of it."

"Oh, I'd say he did!" Myrrah said sarcastically.

Xena wasn't following them. It occurred to her why she didn't spend much time with women. They talked in trivial, nonsensical circles. Still, she did find their melodious voices very soothing. And, their full lips were pleasing to watch. When was the last time she'd spoken to a woman other than to order supplies at the market or a mug of port in a pub? Her world had been focused on men for so long now... leading them, conquering them, hating them, seducing them if necessary. She was brought back to the table when she felt a warm hand on her arm. She was surprised to find that it was Caeneus's rather than Myrrah's. The smoothness of his fingers still amazed her; it made her quiver pleasantly.

Caeneus placed an appetizer before her. He sat down with them long enough to see that it was to Xena's liking, then disappeared into the back room again. The warrior shook her head. "He cooks, he fights, he fishes, he doctors, he dances... Is there anything he doesn't do?!"

Myrrah and Philyra traded serious glances. Myrrah lowered her eyes. Philyra stood and said evenly, "There are still a few things he's never been persuaded to do."

"You mean WON'T do," Myrrah corrected.

"No. I mean he just needs some forceful persuasion." The dark-skinned woman grinned at Xena. "The Warrior Princess, here, might prove to be influential enough." With that, she walked off toward the kitchen.

Xena dropped the appetizer onto the plate and turned to Myrrah with a huff. "What are you two talking about?! Is everything in Caeneus's life a riddle?!" Myrrah didn't respond, but she looked at Xena with sympathetic eyes. The warrior pursed her lips. "I suppose you're going to tell me YOU met him while doing volunteer work together with your local chapter of Hestian virgins!"

"He told you about that?!"

Xena's jaw dropped.

"So, he didn't tell you. I wouldn't have thought so." Myrrah relaxed back against the bench.

Xena sat back too. She was confused, irritated, delighted, and stimulated all at the same time.

Sensing her bewilderment, Myrrah took Xena's hand in both of hers and held it on her lap. "Xena, Caeneus is such a complex, marvelous, wondrous person. I wish I could explain everything." She hesitated. "I can tell you he's gone through so much to become who he is today... He went from being a gentle, vivacious individual to a hard, blood-seeking monster and then back again into a kindhearted, passionate soul." Myrrah looked up to see Caeneus coming through the door with their dinner. She grasped Xena's hand tightly and whispered, "You know... he's loved you for such a long time." Xena tried not to gape. Myrrah rose, patted Caeneus's back, smiled, and left them to their meal.

Wearing only her shift, Xena reclined against the bed's headboard and watched Caeneus return to their room from his bath. He was wearing a night shirt of sorts. The warrior expected him to blush when she raised her eyebrows at his attire, but he didn't.

He latched the door and grinned at her. "You like it?" He didn't wait for her to reply. "Myrrah gave it to me earlier this evening. She made it for me." He smiled appreciatively and ran his hand over the fabric. "She said it's a belated Solstice gift... But, I know better... She's always making up reasons to give me things." Now, Caeneus blushed. "She is such a wonderful woman."

Xena followed Caeneus with her eyes as he began to arrange a bedroll on the floor. The bath Philyra prepared had helped ease the warrior's emotions considerably. Though she was still bothered by a thousand questions about Caeneus, she had so enjoyed their dinner together that she'd convinced herself to wait until tomorrow to make him explain. No one had ever spoken as kindly to her as he had while they ate. She'd forgotten the definition of 'kind.' She hardly knew how to act. The feelings she was experiencing were so foreign to her... but somehow not.

Caeneus stood. "Do you want me to start a fire?"

"It's already hot in here."

He neared the bed. "How's your... breast?"

She gave him a crooked grin. "Much better." She hoped he might sit next to her and have a look at it.

Caeneus smiled and walked to the window. He looked up and said, "Too bad there's not a balcony... the stars are beautiful tonight." After a few moments, he sighed. "...Clouds are moving in though." He continued looking out into the night. "We'll have to rise early in order to make it to the wedding on time. Do you like wedding festivals, Xena?"

"I'm not much for festivals and such."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really." Xena frowned and wished Caeneus would come nearer.

His voice was very low when he spoke again. "Some of my fondest memories are of festivals."

"I'm not much for memories either."

When Caeneus turned from the window, Xena thought she saw sadness in his eyes. He seemed to force another smile and then walked to his blankets. "Good night." Caeneus blew out the candle which had lit the room.

Xena heard him lie down. For the fourth night in a row, Caeneus left her wanting... for what, she wasn't sure. After the closeness they'd shared during the past days, she was craving... something. If he were another man, she might have pounced on top of him in an attempt to satisfy this curious yearning. But, she knew his body wasn't necessarily what she longed for... it was something else altogether... an intimacy that she couldn't describe. After some time, she thought of an excuse to bring him close to her. She called into the darkness. "Caeneus?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm thirsty. Would you bring me a drink?"

Caeneus sat up slowly. It was too dark for Xena to see it, but a tear brimmed in his eye. He pushed himself up and stepped to the bucket of water Myrrah had left them. He filled the dipper and made his way to Xena through the now moonlit room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he watched as she drank.

"Thanks," she murmured, pausing between gulps.

"Thank YOU," he said softly.

"For what?"

"For the very great courtesy of ASKING me to bring you a drink..."

The warrior gave him a warm smirk. "Don't make a big deal of it." She lifted the dipper again. The moonlight reflected off a trickle of water which spilled from her mouth, then on a tear which threatened to fall from Caeneus's eye.

Xena suddenly felt like time slowed as she watched his hand come to her face. She looked at his eyes and saw them concentrate on his finger which wiped the water dripping from her chin. His eyes rose to meet hers as he touched his finger to her mouth. A rush pulsed through the Warrior Princess. Her lips parted, and she fell headlong into his eyes. A long-forgotten memory wracked its way through her body. She began to tremble with realization. All at once, everything made sense... too much sense. She could barely comprehend what was unfolding. Remembrance and feeling came thundering down around her. With her own, she took his hand from her cheek and sat up straight, still staring at him. Her breathing became shallow. For many long moments she searched his eyes. Finally, she took a quaking breath and whispered, "It's you!"

"Yeah..." Caeneus smiled and swallowed hard. "...it's me."

Xena looked down at his hand which she yet held and then again into his eyes. She caressed his wet forefinger absently and then, with a far away look in her eyes, moved her hand to touch his lips. "By the gods... How??"

"You had it right... by the gods."

Tell me..." she breathed.

Caeneus hesitated and frowned. Xena's expression urged him to speak. Several times, he started but balked before uttering a word. With what Xena could tell was an effort of will, he finally began.

"It happened that summer on Skyros. After you left me on the beach that evening, I was walking barefoot through the surf, watching the stars... wishing that you were still with me." Caeneus smiled but didn't look up. Then, he became very sullen. "Unbeknownst to me, I had drawn Poseidon's attention as I strolled though his waves."

After a few moments, he went on. "I suppose I appealed to Poseidon... Anyway, in mortal form, he approached me. He wasted no time telling me who he was and exactly what he intended to do." Caeneus took a deep breath. "I was terrified and pleaded with him to look elsewhere for another who would surely be a more satisfying lover. After all, I had no comprehension of what pleased a man... or a god." Caeneus bit his lip. "Despite my begging, Poseidon was determined. He took me to the cliffs. He laid me down... so near the edge I could grasp it with my outstretched hand. And, he raped me. Seven times over the next three days... he forced himself on me."

Xena saw tears come to Caeneus's eyes, and she felt them stinging her own.

"I didn't contest him. I knew it would be futile and would only provoke him. Finally, Poseidon's appetite was sated." The Lapith curled his lip. "As if I deserved a reward for tolerating his attacks, he promised to grant anything I wished." Caeneus sneered again and shrugged. "I immediately said I wanted to become a man. Poseidon was startled by this and asked why. I made up an excuse about having been bored as a woman... a change might be nice. Poseidon didn't care much about my reason... He said, 'You have been the most exquisite lover I have yet encountered. I will grant your wish so that you will always be mine alone. No other man shall ever enjoy your pleasure.' And, so, he changed me. In the twinkling of an eye, my body became masculine. I didn't feel any different... I still saw the world through a woman's eyes. But, I was satisfied to know that I would never again suffer at the hands of any man."

Caeneus clenched his jaw and sat silently for several moments. Then, he spoke again. "Before Poseidon left, he reached out and put both hands on my shoulders. He said, 'You know nothing of a man's world. Therefore, I will make you invulnerable to all weapons so that you may survive.' I felt a surge of energy flow through my body, and, then, Poseidon was gone."

Xena's mouth fell ajar.

After a very long pause, Caeneus went on. "During those three days with Poseidon, I had to fight the urge to hurl myself over the edge of that cliff. But, Xena... do you know how I was able to go on?... what kept me from throwing myself onto the rocks?"

Tears spilled from Xena's eyes when she shook her head.

"You. Each day, as I looked down from the cliff, I saw you when you came to that spot on the beach. I knew you were looking for me. Thinking about you was the only thing that kept me alive." Caeneus wiped his tears with his sleeve.

"After Poseidon left me that night, I was so filled with anger that I went straight into the nearest village and murdered five innocent men. Then, too ashamed to go to my family or to you, I boarded the first boat to the mainland. I spent the next five winters stumbling through southern Greece in a blind rage. I killed every man who looked sideways at me... or at any woman."

Caeneus took a very deep breath and seemed to relax somewhat. "Then, I just stopped." He frowned. "I happened to catch a glimpse of my reflection in a pond one day... I was shocked by the image of the man who stared back at me. I looked pathetic... my vengeance had worn me almost to death... And, it hadn't made any difference. No number of dead men will erase what happened... nothing will ever dilute the memory..." He glanced at her. "...short of drinking from the Lethe." Caeneus grimaced and went on. "I looked at myself, and I woke up. I saw I had become the very evil which I battled against. I beat my hands on my chest and mourned for the girl I was... regretted the choice I'd made. Of course, there was no going back... but I resolved to stop my rampaging."

Xena stared at him, her mind reeling. After a long while, she touched his cheek.

He took her hand. "Don't feel sorry for me, Xena."

"Oh, I don't," she whispered. "I admire you." Xena lifted his hand and touched her lips to it. She saw him swallow his emotions, and she struggled to blink away her own. Drawing him back with her on the bed, she shifted so that his head lay on her bosom. She stroked his hair and felt him fight to maintain his composure.

_____________________________

Xena lay awake long after Caeneus fell asleep against her. Though she hadn't slept, she felt as if she'd been awakened from a long, fuzzy dream. What cursed blindness had concealed this truth from her for so long?! Waves of realization crashed down upon her at irregular intervals as she held Caeneus in her arms.

She had suddenly become very aware of two singular things.

First, she realized her relentless pursuit of revenge hadn't and wouldn't make any difference to her pain. Like Caeneus, she had been retaliating against the anguish within herself. Conquering the whole of Greece was not going to alleviate that torment, as much as she liked to tell herself it would.

Second, she discovered what had been hidden in her soul for so very long.

'I have been yearning for a woman...' she mused. 'I am... in love... with a woman.' Shaking her head at herself, she looked down at the lovely face which rested so near her heart. She ran her fingers through the longish hair, remembering the time, many summers ago, when she'd done likewise and been rewarded with a tender kiss on the cheek. 'How could I have forgotten this feeling?'

She paused as she grasped what she just admitted to herself. A few times previously, she'd thought she was in love. But, it hadn't felt anything like this. It had probably just been an infatuation with power. She remembered what Lyceus had told her once when he was teaching her to listen for danger. He'd said, 'You may mistake a dog's growl for Graegus's growl, but when you hear Graegus growl, you known damn well it's Graegus!' It was that kind of certainty she felt now... she may have thought she had been in love before, but now she knew this was real. It was the exact same extraordinary splendor she'd felt all those years ago on Skyros. But, it was even more so. The experiences she and Caeneus had lived through were so similar... united them significantly more then the innocent erotic desire and curiosity which had drawn them together as teenagers.

Trying to not disturb Caeneus, Xena slid herself down from where she'd been leaning back on the headboard. Caeneus stirred as she adjusted her body next to him, and he opened his eyes. She touched her fingers to his lips and then caressed his cheek. He smiled sleepily and lay his head next to hers. They looked into one another's eyes. The warrior found his hand and laced her fingers through his, no longer in awe at the softness of his fingertips.

Xena marveled at how she could have failed to see this. It was so obvious that Caeneus was Caenis... her first love... Caenis... the woman who had affected her like none other before or since. She let her eyes roam the features and the body before her. This WAS Caenis lying next to her. Yes, it was a Caenis who was many winters older... a Caenis with a stronger jaw and broader shoulders... a Caenis with more muscle... But, otherwise, it was Caenis... the same beautiful person she had so long ago lain next to under that wonderful cow.

"What are you thinking?" The question was a whisper.

Blue eyes returned to brown ones and remained locked there. For the first time since Calydon, she felt as if she were seeing clearly. Tears from some long-sealed well of emotion brimmed in the warrior's eyes. She let herself bask in the warm gaze that held hers. "Myrrah was right..." she said at last. "...I can SEE you."

"I so hoped you would eventually."

Xena almost gasped at the breathy reply. The soft voice was Caenis's... just as she remembered it. "When you whisper, I can hear you as well."

Time stood still again, as it had the night they watched the stars. Xena wasn't sure how long they were joined in a dance of moonlight in their eyes.

The dance came to an abrupt halt when the moon was suddenly covered by what must have been a cursed cloud. Xena sighed with the severe disappointment at having lost this contact with Caenis. It was now pitch black in the room. She could barely perceive the outline of the body lying next to hers. The warrior needed to reestablish a tangible bond between them. At the same time that she reached to touch the lips in front of her, she felt warm fingers on her mouth. This now so familiar gesture caused a surge of passion to course through to Xena's core. She urgently moved her hand through silky hair to draw those lips to her own. The kiss was the purest, most sensuous Xena had ever experienced. It was more pleasing than the most luscious cherries she had ever tasted. Indeed, even if she could enjoy cherries year round but never again tasted a kiss such as this, she would nevermore be satisfied. The ripe tongue which met hers spoke to her in a voiceless language she had forgotten she understood. It revealed secrets which could never have found expression in mere words.

After an infinity, Xena pulled back breathlessly. She wished for the moonlight to reveal those gorgeous eyes to her again. Instead, she heard the patter of rain outside. As the warrior moved her fingers over a smooth arm to a waiting, welcoming hand, she decided perhaps it was better that the clouds were veiling the moonlight. The darkness allowed her to more vividly sense the essence of the woman with her.

It was surely a woman who made love to her then. Xena had never known human hands could be so tenderly expressive. She was fascinated to discover that velvety lips could create such exquisite sensations on her skin or cause her breasts to heave with such eagerness. The warm mouth that so knowingly explored every part of her body gave her pleasures she'd never dreamed of. She wouldn't have imagined someone could so patiently arouse her to this level of emotional desire. Feeling as if she were being utterly worshipped by her lover, she began to lose herself in time and reality. Arms of absolute caring held her shoulders, her waist, and then her hips, which were now undulating of their own accord. As her hips rose off the pallet, magnificent lips brushed against her, lingered over her and then with her on the edge, and an agonizingly marvelous tongue took her to another existence... a place she'd never been before... a place she was then allowed to dwell so much longer than she had ever done. She was certain she had ascended to the heavens and was now blazing among the stars. As she floated through the dimensions of reality, the warrior reached for the moist fingers that rested on her thigh. Needing to have her lover's breath mingle with her own, she grasped the hand and pulled its owner up and over her.

The hardness pressing on her abdomen caused her eyes to open wide with the reminder of the gender of her lover's body. She felt a slight thrust against her, almost as if it had been involuntary, and then they were both very still.

"Xena... no..." The voice was tortured and ragged.

The warrior was surprised to feel her partner quickly slide off of her to lay quietly next to her. Xena rolled onto her side. It took her a few moments to gather her thoughts. She could hear the short breaths, sense the heat of her lover's restrained passion, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to receive it unto herself.

Xena raised herself on an elbow, found the curve of a still slick chin with her fingers, and leaned over into a slow, sensuous kiss. "Let me love you, too." She spoke in a low rumble against the lips and ran her fingers down over firm abdominal muscles until her hand was just above the growing intensity of the love between them. She felt the sharp intake of breath beside her and heard a moan. She pressed herself closer so she could kiss her lover more deeply. As their ardor continued to build, Xena couldn't help herself. She slid her leg over and moved to straddle the body beneath her. An insistent hand on her wrist interrupted what she started to do.

"No, Xena... Please... I can't... I've never..."

The warrior's eyebrow arched in the darkness. "What are you saying?" she breathed. Xena heard several hard swallows and a barely audible reply.

"I've never been able to bring myself to... not after what happened... It reminded me too much of what he did to me."

"You've never...?! In all these years?!" Xena was incredulous.

"Never. I couldn't." The voice was still strained. "Besides... I never wanted to be with anyone... except you."

Xena's eyes welled with tears. She leaned fully into a desperate kiss. Once again, a hand tightened on her wrist as she raised her hips and began to slide onto her lover. She heard a gasp when she lowered herself and felt the resistance melt away.

Under their labored breathing, she heard, "Xena... I've never done this... I don't know..."

The warrior hushed the soft lips with her fingers. "It's okay... I have." Between fiery, wet kisses, she murmured, "Just love me."

Xena's tears fell to mix with her lover's as their smoldering fervor ignited and consumed them fully. They rocked together with a combination of unhurried sweetness and famished urgency that Xena hoped would last forever. She now felt as if she had plunged from the sky into the current of the deepest, fastest river. She was amazed that she didn't drown in the waves of passion which crashed over her. Left with barely the strength to inhale, Xena relaxed as they both rode the ebbing flow and laughed silently at Poseidon.

Much later, the Warrior Princess fell asleep knowing that she was more awake than she had ever been.

"And, THAT is the story of the first time I made love with a woman, Gabrielle." Xena took a long breath and waited for the bard's reaction. She expected Gabrielle to say something like, 'That doesn't count... Caenis was in a man's body.' When the bard didn't immediately respond, the warrior turned her head to look at her lover.

Tears streaked Gabrielle's face. She smiled through them at the warrior. "Xena... That was..." The bard shook her head. "There isn't any word for it..."

Xena stiffened her chin and blinked in acknowledgment.

Gabrielle wiped away another tear with her forearm and then frowned. She touched the warrior's hand. "But, Xena, whatever happened to Caenis?

The warrior paused. Her eyes returned to the night sky and became unfocused again. "The next day, we rode to Pirithous's village." She smiled at the memory. "We had a wonderful time at the wedding festival... until..." Her smile disappeared.

"Until what, Xena?" Gabrielle knew her lover so well. She could tell from Xena's expression that the rest of the story would not be happy.

"As usual, the Centaurs consumed far too much alcohol. One of them became uncontrollably drunk and molested Pirithous's bride. Of course, Pirithous was beside himself with anger. And, Caeneus..." Xena took in a deep breath. "When Caeneus heard what happened, he was incensed. I joined him as he flew at the Centaurs. We both killed many of them. Pirithous's people and the Centaurs engaged in a gruesome battle." Xena closed her eyes tightly for a moment. "The Centaurs realized Caeneus was invulnerable, but they found a way to stop him. At the expense of more Centaur lives, they lured him into a trap near the logging site outside the village. While he was fighting one of their largest, the others released a large hold of tree trunks onto Caeneus. The logs crashed down from where they'd been stacked... burying Caeneus beneath the weight."

Gabrielle took Xena's hand in her own while she waited for the warrior to continue.

"Pirithous and I got to him too late. I screamed for Pirithous's men to help me lift the logs. When we finally pulled the last few away, it was obvious he was dying. His body was crushed. Caeneus was impervious to most weapons, but even he couldn't withstand the tremendous, suffocating weight of those massive logs. I was out of my mind, but there was nothing I could do. Everyone knew he had but a few moments to live. Pirithous said 'goodbye' to Caeneus, then he and his men left to pursue the Centaurs again." Xena winced. "I stayed there with his head in my lap... He kept trying to talk. At last, I made out the word he was saying... It was 'Artemis.' Then, I realized he was staring at someone. I looked up, and there she was... Artemis."

"Artemis?!" The bard was in awe.

"Yes." Xena smiled at Gabrielle's admiration of the patron Amazon goddess and squeezed the bard's hand. "Artemis said to Caeneus, 'You know you're dying.' He tried to nod. She said, 'You have fought bravely in my name. You are among my favored. Therefore, I will grant your wish. If you still desire to forego an eternity in Elysium, I will instead place you among the stars to shine down upon those you have protected and those you have loved.' She looked at me and smiled. This time, Caeneus did manage to nod his head. Artemis looked at me again and said, 'Say your last, Xena. I must take Caenis before she dies, or she will belong to Hades forever.' With that, she waved her hand over Caeneus, and then Artemis was gone."

"When I looked back down at Caeneus, I was stunned to see Caenis lying there. Artemis had transformed her. She was just as I remembered, and she took my breath away. She smiled weakly and whispered, 'Xena... don't forget.' I nodded and placed my lips on hers. She had barely enough strength to kiss me back, but she tried desperately to do so. I let my lips linger there until I felt her begin to drain away. She smiled again and murmured, 'It's time... Xena, will you sing for me as I go... that song?' She meant the one I said was my favorite while we dined at that tavern on Skyros. I didn't know if I'd be able to sing through my sobs, but I did my best. I'd only sung one verse when her eyelids fell, and she was gone."

Gabrielle reached over and brushed a tear from Xena's cheek... then wiped away those from her own.

After many long moments, she said, "Xena... What did Caenis mean when she said, 'Don't forget?'"

The warrior's brow creased. "I've often wondered about that, Gabrielle... As I kneeled beside her, after Artemis took her, I was sure she meant not to forget what had happened there in Thessaly. Of course, I couldn't... I was crazy with cold rage at what the Centaurs had done. I was blind with wrath and pain. Everything that Caenis taught me about vengeance was erased by the fury that coursed through me when the Centaurs killed her. What they did to her spurred the long string of battles I waged against that Centaur village. It wasn't a full moon later that I returned with my army and began vicious attacks. It was only because I was badly injured that we finally withdrew." Xena grimaced.

"How long did the fighting go on before you were hurt?" Gabrielle stared at her intently.

"About five moons, I guess. Why?"

"I was just curious. Please go on."

"A few winters later, after I'd met Hercules, I thought about Caenis's words again... And, I decided what she must've meant was for me not to forget the difference between SEEKING vengeance and taking it when you're COMPELLED to. That thought helped me to see what Hercules was trying to teach me." Xena let her sparkling blue eyes come to rest on her lover. "And, much later, when I met you, I wondered if she meant not to forget about the passion that burns in my heart of hearts."

Gabrielle lay propped on an elbow for some time. Her eyes roamed the night sky. "Xena..."

"Hmm?"

"Do you know which star she is?"

"I think I do. I noticed a new star in the sky that same night she was taken."

The bard's eyes widened, and she turned her head expectantly toward her lover.

Xena smiled warmly, then moved her eyes to the sky. "See that group of stars just above the horizon..."

"The group that looks like two fish?"

"Yeah... See the very bright star in the group..." Xena stretched her hand out and pointed. "...right next to that small one."

"The bright one which joins the two fish at the tails?... Yes... I see it."

"I believe that's her... And, I believe the fish represent the two lives she lived."

Gabrielle smiled at the brilliant star and then at the Warrior Princess. Her eyes brimmed with tears. She looked deeply into Xena's eyes. "You know, Xena..."

"What, Gabrielle?"

"I've heard that some stars are actually unborn children... those babies who are lost before they're carried to full term."

Xena's eyebrow arched very high, and she looked down at the bard curiously. At last, she said, "I've heard that too, Gabrielle."

The bard smiled long and lovingly at Xena, as if she were waiting for her to speak. When the warrior remained silent, Gabrielle touched her face gently, lightly kissed her lips, and then laid her head down on Xena's shoulder. She heard Argo snort and stomp her foot in the distance, and she grinned against her lover's smooth skin. "You know... I always wondered how Argo got her name."

Xena chuckled and slipped her arm around the bard.

After a long while Gabrielle sighed and hugged her very tightly. "Xena?"

"What now, Love?"

"Will you tell me one more story?"

Xena rolled her eyes. "Gabrielle... I don't KNOW anymore stories."

The bard didn't relent. "Xena... when was the first time...?"

"Get off it, Gabrielle."

"No, no... I mean the first time you made love to a woman in a woman's body."

"You already know that story." Xena closed her eyes.

"I do?? I don't remember it... Tell me again."

"You've forgotten?!" The warrior bolted upright and stared down at her startled lover. A small grin pulled at the corner of her mouth.

After several long moments, Xena's meaning sank in. The bard's eyes became wide. "Oh, Xena!..." she whispered. "Really?"

Xena smiled affectionately and touched Gabrielle's cheek. "Yeah, really." She kissed the bard tenderly, lay down again, and circled her arm around Gabrielle.

Gabrielle beamed, wrapped her arm over Xena's waist, kissed her cheek, and snuggled close.

"I do remember, Xena. But, tell me anyway."

The warrior grinned. "Okay..." She sighed deeply. "It happened the summer after we traversed that canyon..."

"What canyon?"

"You remember that gorge, Gabrielle... it took us moons to get across that cursed rift."

"Oh... yeah." The bard's eyes became sad at the memory.

"Actually, it started long before that..."

"It did?" Gabrielle looked up curiously.

Xena placed a soft, warm kiss on her forehead. "Yeah... It all began that summer I stumbled upon a group of Potidaeans who were in trouble... From the very first, there was something about you..."

______________________________

A candlemark later, the duo still lake awake, watching the stars. Xena reached to pull a blanket over the bard's body. The warrior lay back, and her eyes came to rest on Caenis's star. Silently, she thanked Caenis, as she had on many a night, for awakening her to this glory that lie in her arms. She had never been happier than she was now with Gabrielle. She cringed with the memory of how she'd almost lost the bard at Thessaly too. She knew she couldn't live without Gabrielle, and she often lost sleep over the dreaded possibility that the bard might be taken from her.

The warrior suppressed her pessimistic imagination and renewed her hold on the sweet woman against her. She concentrated on the sky and once again felt very grateful. If it hadn't been for Caenis, she might yet be a maddened warlord. Who knew if Hercules would have been able to break through her walls of hatred if Caenis hadn't already weakened the most solid of them. If it hadn't been for Caenis, it probably would've taken her many winters to discover the rapture that was the love between two women. The Warrior Princess sighed as she tried to fathom the mystery of two women coming together to make a life. This miracle still amazed Xena every time she looked at the bard. It amazed her every time she looked at Caenis's star. And, it amazed her every time she looked at that little star which was nestled next to Caenis in the heavens. That tiny celestial body had become visible there five moons after Caenis's star appeared.

The warrior smiled with bittersweet emotion and focused once again on that bright star. The star glowed more radiantly and then sparkled in such a way that Xena was certain Caenis had winked at her.

NOTE: This story is based on the actual mythological tale of Caenis. I didn't invent her or her remarkable story... Look it up yourself if you don't believe me.

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