Liaisons Ridiculeuse
Parts 5 to 5 by Alexiares and Rachel Hahn
DISCLAIMER: RenPics owns theirs, we own ours. This story is only written for fun, we
didn't make a penny. There's not too much violence... not too much swearing... not too
much sex... but they turn up, this being a X:WP alt fiction piece and all. If you have any
problem with two women being together, this story is really not your thing. Feedback can
be sent to Barderella@aol.com or alexiares@excite.com.
NOTES: Yet another change in plans, folks. Part five will be the final
chapter of Liaisons for me. Rachel will continue the story for Ephiny,
Callisto, Solari, and Eponin as soon as she is able. I'll post the next
story for me soon. - Alexiares, 00-06-22
PART 5
"Ah, whoa... tubular as this is, babes, I'm the one who has a problem."
Aphrodite interrupted.
"Perfume." Cyrene and Artemis said in unision.
Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "Like NOT. This is a special batch that I've been wearing
using, and people are always swooning around me. Why, Prince Charming did it just
yesterday."
"Can I? Please?" Artemis pleaded with her lover.
"Actually, I'd really like to have a go at this one." Innkeeper and Goddess
gazed at each other for a long moment. Cyrene grinned. "Pity pass?"
Artemis laughed, as she remembered where that had first come from. "Sure, pity
pass." The genesis of the pity pass, as Artemis liked to put it, had come from her
third, and she had believed then, final visit to Amphipolis, and its alluring innkeeper.
Just, something to get, whatever it was out of her system. Whatever
it was that drew her feet and her gaze to Amphipolis repeatedly, even when she should have
been thinking about something else. Whatever it was that led her to beat Ares senseless
when he suggested that maybe he would go bed the woman, just to spite her. Whatever it was
that led her to sitting on a rocky point on her island of Aretias, aching to have a woman
she knew damned well was already married. Whatever it was.
And now she was standing in front of the bulk of the inn, in very different clothing from
anything she had worn here before. No one knew her, and it was no wonder. No particoloured
juggler's gear now. Instead, black leathers and solid armour that gleamed a metallic night
sky blue. A long cloak curled about her ankles, and whispered in the wind. Artemis' pale
eyes gleamed almost completely silver in the moonlight, and she looked like nothing so
much as a hungry wolf. Which she knew, and that wouldn't do, would it?
So she stabled her mare, and pulled out her pack, and exchanged armour, cloak, and
leathers for wool trousers and tunic, although she kept her boots. Under the tunic was a
white linen shirt, only its collar and cuffs visible, marking a sharp contrast to the
black wool and its blue trim. Three earrings in one ear, and the careful removal of every
weapon she usually wore, and Artemis felt all but naked. A few moments thought, and then
she sighed. Wearing armour to ward off painful truths was irrational, but it did seem to
work.
A quiet walk to the front of the inn, and now eyes were lighting on her, not only with
surprise or admiration, but recognition.
"She's back again!"
"What's Admetus here for this time, I wonder?"
"Why don't she stay, that's what I'm wonderin'. Atrius'll never come back."
Once inside the inn door, Artemis took a deep breath. "By my teeth... I've gotta snap
out of this, you'd think I was going to the gallows... and it's not even the right time of
year." she muttered. Boosting a hip onto a bar stool, she ran long fingers over the
polished wood, brushing away water marks and nicks. An exquisitely minor miracle, homely
almost. She laughed softly. Now that was better.
"Tell me, what's a gorgeous woman like you doing in a rotten place like this?"
Cyrene grinned at the Goddess, and poured her a mug of ale.
"Being rotten, mostly." Artemis replied, grinning recklessly.
"Oh, I can't believe that... gorgeous women are never rotten. Foolhardy on occasion,
maybe." Cyrene leaned closer. She had made up her mind. Admetus was going to tell her
who and what she actually was, and why she was here again. After that, Cyrene had a few
things of her own to deal with. All risky. Admetus wasn't the only foolhardy one tonight.
"Foolhardy. Well, I don't think I have ever been that before. I'm not entirely sure I
like it."
"Nobody likes it. Sometimes you have to be foolhardy anyway. It's like
gambling."
"Gambling."
"I'm gambling."
"Are you?"
"Yes, aren't you?"
A long silence. "I always gamble, and I always win."
"But this time you think you'll lose." Cyrene refilled her mug.
"What! No... why would you suggest such a thing?"
"Because Admetus, if we beat around the bush much longer, there will be no leaves
left on it." Cyrene chuckled wryly. "Come into the kitchen, I think we need
privacy."
Artemis rose slowly to her feet, and followed the innkeeper. "I do not beat around
the bush." she muttered sulkily, picking the ludicrous to go on about rather than the
obvious. Cyrene laughed softly, and bumped her with one hip.
"Quit, I think this is supposed to be serious, even though other times I prefer your
comedy."
"Oh, all right... if you want." Artemis hesitated. Where to start, when as far
as she could see there were a thousand possible beginnings... and one rear end, which was
incredibly distracting. She took a long breath, watching Cyrene as she closed the doors
and made sure there would be no unwanted interruptions.
"I'll start... Admetus, why are you here?"
"Ummm..." Damn, that was the key question, and she couldn't explain that one.
Artemis cleared her throat. "I... came... to... well, I mean..." 'I knew it, I
knew it, I knew I should have written a speech!' she chided herself mentally. 'At least
then I could beg off for medical reasons... terrible papercut, Cyrene, I think it needs a
healer...'
Cyrene raised an eyebrow. Okay. Time for the big crossbows. "Right, you're wasting my
time. Get out of my kitchen!" Artemis' eyes got round. That had come from somewhere
in right field. She struggled to say something, anything, which of course just made
matters worse. "Some days, the things I have to put up with from people..."
Cyrene stomped up to the Goddess, and seeing that she had finaly trumped both Admetus'
reserve and her guard, slipped both arms around her waist and kissed her.
Quite awhile later, Cyrene let her go, and stepped back. "Well, that answered my
question." Artemis opened and shut her mouth a couple of times in disbelief. It felt
like Cyrene had given her an electric shock with her lips.
'Now how am I supposed to talk! You've stunned my mouth senseless! What if I start
drooling!' She took a stunned step back, and bumped into the counter. She leaned back,
trying to catch her breath and her equilibrium, which was running around in little
circles, yelling happily. "Your question?" Admetus croaked.
"Mmmhmmm... at some ridiculous point in our very short acquaintance, at the very
least I've fallen quite seriously in lust with you."
"Oh." What did you say to that? Me too? It might be true, but would you say it?
"That being the case, could you at least tell me who you really are?"
Oh, horse shit. Sometimes perceptive mortals were a real pain in the butt, and the heart.
Artemis thought to herself, and jerked in surprise. "Okay..." she said finally,
sitting on the counter. "I didn't expect this to happen, at all... usually... I
mean... this... usually, I avoid this."
"Then it's like a guided arrow, I'm afraid." Cyrene smiled ruefully.
"Heh... yeah, I guess it is, huh?" Artemis took a breath. "I'm a
Goddess." Cyrene nodded. That didn't surprise her too much. She had watched the
phenomena of disappearing water rings and hunks and scratches from her tables and bar.
"Artemis, mortals usually call me." The innkeeper sat down slowly in a chair,
head spinning a bit in spite of herself.
"I kept telling myself, I shouldn't... I shouldn't come back, but I did anyway...
it's the full Moon, sometimes it gets to me... look, I can just..."
"No," Cyrene interrupted. "No, you can't. It's not just you, now. We've got
to think, both of us."
"I know." Artemis sighed. "I just don't like what I think. It all leads to
the same spot, and there's no honest way among people like yours now, to do that."
Cyrene laughed sadly. Poor Artie was beating around the bush again, and this one
represented her absentee husband, who was off drinking and whoring somewhere, never giving
a thought to the woman he married, or the son he had. And she couldn't see a way out of
that, yet. But there was one thing she could see.
"Why should he have all the fun?"
Artemis blinked at her in confusion. "You heard me, why should he have all the
fun?" Oh... oh, that was a different story.
"Look, I'll just... go. I shouldn't have come around. My head must be back at
Aretias. Yeah... ummm.... see yah." Artemis turned, her hands automaticallygrabbing
something she almost knocked over, then mechanically tucking it under her arm. "Here
I go." she smiled weakly, and headed for the door.
"Artie?"
"Ye-es?"
"Where are you going with that pot of stew?"
"Stew? What?" Artemis looked at the crook of her arm, and stared in confusion at
the pot she had wound up with. "Ummm..."
"You're hungry?"
'Ooooooh, Gaia and Rhea and Cybele help me!' Artemis groaned inwardly, as entirely the
wrong sort of hunger came to mind.
"Artie?"
"Pass."
"What?"
"Pass."
"Artie, are you asking me for a pity pass?" Cyrene grinned broadly. Artemis
laughed.
"Yeah, I guess I am."
"Put that pot down, and I'll help you with those hunger pangs."
"Cyrene, I..."
"We can have one night. It isn't going to hurt anyone." Logically speaking,
Artemis knew she should say no. This wasn't the sort of thing she did. She was a rock,
like at Aretias, like her statues in a thousand temples, and nothing, nothing touched her.
But logic is rarely the foremost quality of a comedienne. So she set down the pot, and
tangled her fingers with Cyrene's, and let the innkeeper lead the way, to many places.
******