Personal Disclaimer:
I must apologize for the incredibly long dry spell in my updates since
May...applying to and deciding which college to attend, as well as
completing my senior year of high school was quite...um...hectic. All
excuses aside, though, I thank those who have been kind enough to stick
with me and I will try my absolute best to post more regularly and finish
this thing up soon. :) also, this part is mainly unedited so please
excuse the untidiness of my language and any spelling errors you may encounter.
I'll patch it up later and repost (MaryD willing). Feedback is
always welcome. Thank you
all out there, FreeBard "do the bard thing" ~Xena in "The
Furies"
The Mind of Love
by FreeBard
lima@fas.harvard.edu
Chapter 4- Part II
‘This is not good,’ Xena rolled
around in her mind. She snorted a
little, ‘Hmm…under statement…’ She shifted, moving to her side
to watch
the shallow breathing of her friend deepen as she relaxed into the warm
embrace of an actual sleep. ‘On the other hand, *that* was good. Boy,
does she need it. How could I not have noticed? Then again, things
haven't been the same since, well, since Chin. Which was my fault, I put
in her in a difficult position. And after Britannia, it’s a damned wonder
she even hangs around with me anymore.’ She missed the closeness and the
unending trust that the bard used to place in her. With a rueful sigh, she
placed a hand gently on the bard’s shoulder, and then lifted the fur-lined
blanket under the smaller woman’s chin. Gabrielle, unconscious to the
troubles plaguing her in waking life, simply snuggled into the warmth with
a guttural "Hmm." Xena grinned in spite of herself, and kept her arm
slung over Gabrielle’s shoulder as the bard relaxed further into sleep
under her touch. Xena turned her thoughts to finishing the brutal self
analysis and criticism, but found couldn't concentrate on it, her focus
falling instead to the bard's gentle and very rhythmic breathing, which
eventually did the trick and lured her away to a comfortable doze. Her
last thought before drifting off was, ‘I have to tell her.’
Chapter 5
Birds chirped, brooks babbled and the world awoke. A golden mare
snorted in a patch of grass, seemingly commenting on the equally golden
haired woman, still snoozing well after dawn. A cheery fire was already
toasting some fish, captured from the aforementioned babbling brook.
"Hmm…hmph," the woman shifted in her bedroll,
enjoying some kind of
dream, her face animated suddenly with a little smile. Her companion a
whole lot darker, and a whole lot taller sat on a nearby log, working on
an intricate piece of armor, humming lightly. She looked up at her
friend's shifting and grinned a little, a dazzling white flash of teeth
appeared briefly and then was gone, and a shaft of stray sunshine broke
through the clouds.
"What do you think Argo, do we wake her up?" Xena
offered to her
horse as she came grazing up, bumping the warrior on the shoulder. Argo
snorted. "Oh, come on Argo, she’s not that bad…she just slept late
today.
Besides, it has been good to relax for a few hours. You certainly
haven’t been minding all the sweet grasses you’ve been munching on, right
girl?" The horse did an excellent impression of a sheepish grin and then
nuzzled the warrior, as the human started chuckling. The sun took the
opportunity to glint off of her intensely blue eyes, as little wrinkles
from her laughter framed them. The sleeping girl shifted again and Xena
crossed to her, after giving the horse a slight pat.
"Gabrielle.." she offered softly. The bard’s
intentions of staying
asleep seemed a bit more firm than this rousing. She stayed, then, firmly
asleep. Xena gripped her by the shoulders. "Gabrielle…" her
voice
dropped in tone and rose in volume. She shook her a little bit, feeling a
twinge guilty and even scared to handle the bard roughly. The girl
finally began to wake up, "Hi Xena," she mumbled.
"Hey, how are you?" she asked, a part of her
wishing for a very
detailed explanation of everything that had been troubling the bard,
another part being polite, and still another part hoping the bard felt as
great as she did on this beautiful morning.
"Hmm…good." The bard replied, still in the
hazy state of dozing. "I
had a dream. A wonderful dream." The warrior recognized a distinct air
of babbling coming on in her friend, which may have annoyed her at one
time, but she prepared herself for a story.
"Why don’t you tell me about it Gabrielle?"
The warrior said
lazily, an amused smile appearing.
"So glad you asked, I was going to tell you anyway,"
the words were
slightly slurred in contentment. Her eyes remained closed as she began
the tale, though she seemed to be envisioning the scene before her eyes.
"I dreamt that I was walking along in the forest and it was very dark.
Well…it was awful, and wet. I started crying and just feeling lost. I was
holding something, I think it was a water skin, but it was poisoned.
Anyway, I was running when I was crying, blinded by tears, or was it
rain?…and I tripped and fell."
‘This doesn’t sound like such a great dream,’ Xena
thought to
herself as the bard paused to gather breath. It was a little
familiar to her, just throw in a lot of dead warlords and villagers from
the past, and she could recognize it as her own.
"When I got up, I ran smack-dab into a bear."
"A bear?" Xena asked, "What happened
next?"
"Hmm…He gave me a hug, and I held on to his soft fur.
He smelt
good. Anyway, I feel asleep when he was hugging me. I woke up, and we
were near a little stream. He had caught fish for me it was cooking on a
little fire…he was very sweet for a bear…then we danced and then we ate.
That was wonderful…"
"I’m not surprised you think eating is wonderful,"
Xena teased. "No,
no…the *dancing* was wonderful. He was very agile.
Oh, yeah
the fish was good too. Anyway, then he started
laughing and saying ‘Gabrielle’…maybe he was trying to get me to
understand the joke he was laughing at…then…then I woke
up." The bard began to mumble more and more towards the end of the
story, her eyes still unopened. She began to drift back
into a deeper sleep.
Xena smiled once more, "That was very lovely dream Gabrielle."
"Oh, you say my name just like he did…" she
sighed.
‘So you’re a bear now Xena…not bad, you’ve
been called a lot
worse.’ She thought, amused, but determined to finally
wake the bard, who had already snuggled down again.
"Come on…time to get moving," Xena slapped her
lightly on the left
cheek.
"Hmm? What?" Gabrielle sputtered as she awoke, this
time fully.
"Hey!" she said, smiling a little. She looked up at the sun
and grimaced. "Gods," she replied at the brightness and then made
another face as she realized the sun’s position. "Eek!
Xena! How could you let me sleep this late?"
"Um…It’s no big deal, besides, it looked like you
could use it," she
cuffed the fairer woman’s arm playfully, losing herself in the sunny
morning. "A few hours delay isn’t going to decided the fate of
nations."
Gabrielle stilled at her words and cringed slightly when Xena hit
her, remembering her meeting the previous night, and her…assignment. Her
face darkened as she began to retreat into herself once more.
Xena watched the change in the face before her. Heavy
clouds
rolled in front of the sun, casting a shadow over them both.
She saw the distance return to her friend’s green eyes, she assumed
Gabrielle was pulling back from the absent-minded
playfulness of her sleepy state. It was as if they remembered
themselves, and what had happened in the past months. And
consciously remembering this smothered the need for their friendship
that lie firmly unconscious. Xena, at that moment
would’ve done anything to pull the bard back from the dark place she was
headed for, but she found she couldn’t. ‘What can it say?’ rolled
around
her head. ‘Well…I’ll be damned if I’m going to back down from
this fight,
not when there is so much to lose.’
"Gabrielle.." she began.
"Yeah?" She replied weakly, her face cheery but her
eyes hooded.
"Um…are you okay? I mean, is there anything you
what to talk
about?" ‘Chicken…’ her mind scolded her.
"I’m just…great, a little sleepy and…"
Warning bells began to ring
despite the bard’s casual inflection.
"Gabrielle-" Xena cut in, "I had a visit from one
of our ‘favorite’
gods yesterday and-"
Gabrielle saw the concern and the admission in the clear clue
eyes
before her and resolved herself to leaving her distrust and more her fear,
in the past where it belonged. "Ares wants me to deliver a scroll
to
his army," Gabrielle supplied, a little darkly.
"He was here last night," more of a statement rather
than a
question.
"Yes." ‘And I lied about it..’
"You knew," her voice cracked a
little as she lowered her tone.
Xena saw the self-derision creep into Gabrielle posture, lowering
her
head and shoulders and the bard swallowed a little. She shook her head
slightly, "Gabrielle, I knew because he graced me with his presence
earlier, in the village…"
"When I had gone to get water."
"Yeah, so don’t you go trying to blame yourself for
everything," she
paused, thinking of the past months, "any of it."
"I will make that promise on one condition," the bard
replied,
beginning to brighten, but still very serious.
"And that is?"
"You do the same. We both made mistakes. I
forgive you," she
paused and half-smiled, "Now you have to forgive
yourself."
Xena stayed silent for an achingly long moment.
"Xena you have to do this, it’s the only way you can
really go on.
The only way either of us can."
Xena, former Destroyer of Nations, simply nodded after a quiet
pause, and surrendered to the most important treaty of her
life. "I’ll try," she managed to whisper.
"I’ll hold you to that Xena."
"You had better."
The End