Vineyard by the Sea

by

Mayt

Mayt@aol.com

Disclaimer: Xena: Warrior Princess, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the syndicated series Xena: Warrior Princess, together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices

Background: This story builds on characters introduced and events that occurred in Mediations and Natural Causes.  It is strongly recommended that Mediations and Natural Causes be read prior to proceeding with Vineyard by the Sea.

Acknowledgements:  My gratitude to Cath for her extensive edits/comments and to Tana for her faithful encouragement and beta review.

Comments:  Comments always encouraged and appreciated.

Subtext: This story portrays a loving relationship between two women.  If you are under 18 or if it is illegal for you to read this text please do not continue. 

Part Two

Xena and Eve rode onto Amazon land.  Eve observed her mother's tense form. She prayed that soon their journey would end. 

"Mother, Gabrielle will understand."

Xena held back her rising apprehension.  She felt nothing of her bond to Gabrielle.  Though she had reopened her heart she feared Gabrielle had closed hers.  The only other explanation was unthinkable.  Xena could not contemplate the possibility that Gabrielle had passed to the other side.

Xena turned to her daughter.  "Get ready, Eve."

From the trees six Amazon warriors led by Jamine descended.  The Captain of Guard stepped forward, keeping her weapons sheathed.  It was, Xena assessed, a good sign. 

"Xena, we're here to escort you and your daughter to the village."  Jamine recognized Eve with a nod of her head.

"Thank you, Jamine."  Xena steadied her rising emotions.  "How is Gabrielle?"

Jamine was nonplused by the question.  "Queen Karis will speak to you."

Xena vaulted off Argo and walked with determined strides to Jamine.  Jamine braced herself.  Her confidence waned.  Xena stopped an arm's length away from the Captain.  Her muted voice carried a hint of a plea.  "I need to speak to Gabrielle.  I owe her…. an explanation."

"I wish I could help you but Queen Gabrielle did not return to the village after she left to meet you and Eve."

"She didn't…"

"Lael and Ciara returned alone.  They have spoken only to Queen Karis."  Jamine gathered up her courage.  "Xena, what happened?"

Xena stared out into the distance, seeing nothing, as her mind tried to wrap itself around the news of Gabrielle's unknown whereabouts.  "I need to speak to Karis."

"That is her order.  I have sent a runner ahead.  Karis will be waiting for us."

Xena turned back to Eve.  "Gabrielle's not at the village."

Eve leaned forward in her saddle.  "We'll find her."

Karis stepped out of the Council Chambers upon being notified of the escort's arrival.  Ciara and Lael followed two paces behind.  Without hesitation Karis silently offered Xena her arm.

Xena gestured toward the woman standing beside her.  "Karis.  This is my daughter, Eve."

"Welcome."  Karis acknowledged Eve with a smile.  "Jamine.  Would you have the horses stabled?"  

Jamine took the reins from Xena and Eve's hands and led the animals away.

"Come.  We need to talk." 

Karis led the others to the Council Chamber taking a place in front of the head table.  The two young warriors stood guard near the entrance.  Eve stood by her mother who took a stance in the middle of the room. 

Karis directed her words to Xena.  "I've been given a disturbing account of what happened between you and Gabrielle.  In that account you told Gabrielle that you sent Eve away, but I see that Eve is very much here with you.  I also see no man on a black stallion."

"He's dead."  Xena had difficulty maintaining her composure.  She turned away from Karis toward the young warriors, meeting their hard stares.  She could not subdue her shame and walked away from them to an open window.  She felt herself suffocating.

Eve watched her mother with concern.  She knew it was for her to explain. 

"His name was Bedros.  He was one of my Lieutenants in the Roman army.  Bedros decided that he could do better leading his own mercenaries.  He also had a vendetta against me, and a perverse desire to prove that he was able to conquer the greatest warrior in Greece.  He once believed I was that warrior.  He later realized that it wasn't me.  It was my mother.  Bedros took me captive after intercepting my message to Gabrielle.  He made sure Xena learned where I was being held and offered one of my traveling companions her life and virtue if she spied on me.  He made sure Xena and I spoke and he used the information he learned against…"  Eve paused, "…us." 

"What did he learn?"

"That Xena was going to meet Gabrielle at the ridge."

"Why would he care?"

Eve paused.  She was unprepared to continue without consent.  Eve turned to Xena.  "Mother?"

Xena spoke, keeping her back to all.  Her voice was strained.  "Tell her."

"He didn't want to beat Xena with a sword, at least not right away.  He wanted to force her to share his bed."

Karis studied the beleaguered warrior.

Eve continued.  "Bedros had his crossbow men positioned around the ridge while his best assassin held a knife to my throat.  Xena had instructions to send Gabrielle away.  If she spoke and he couldn't hear her or if she allowed Gabrielle near her, his men had orders to shoot."

"But he had already gotten what he wanted."  Karis turned to Lael and Ciara.

"No, he hadn't."  Eve countered.

Lael spoke up.  "But he told Gabrielle…"

"It was a lie.  He wanted to break Xena and Gabrielle apart.  Not even Ares had the power to do that.  Bedros knew that if he did…"

Karis had heard enough.  "I understand."

Having her story told, Xena was more willing to face the Amazons.  She went to Ciara.  "What happened after I left?"

"We washed Queen Gabrielle's wound and made sure she was warm.  She wouldn't look at us, let alone speak to us.  When dawn broke she saddled her mount and rode away."

Eve questioned.  "She said nothing?"

"She thanked us."

"Why didn't you try to stop her?"

Xena interrupted.  "Eve.  It's all right.  They respected Gabrielle's wish to be left alone.  I can't blame them for that."

Lael conjectured.  "I don't believe she'll return to us."

Xena's gaze traveled from Lael to Ciara.  Ciara agreed.  "Nor do I."

Karis approached Xena.  "What can we do to help?"

"Nothing.  Eve and I will search for her."

Wanting to infuse a modicum of hope, Karis granted Xena's advantage.  "True.  With your bond you should be able to find her."

Lael squelched any possibility of misplaced optimism.  Her words carried across the room as a harsh accusation.  "How did you break the bond?  I know she felt it even before you arrived."

Xena was dispassionate, presenting a cool, detached guise.  "I willed every ounce of love from my soul.  I needed Gabrielle to believe everything I said to her.  She is too good at reading me, I couldn't take the chance that she would see through the lie."

"It was a terrible thing to watch."

Ciara stepped up to Lael, physically placing herself between her friend and Xena.

The warrior snapped.  "You don't have to tell me that!"

Karis sought to calm.  "Xena.  Will you and Eve stay the night and rest?"

Eve spoke for both of them.  "Yes.  Thank you."

"I'll walk you to your quarters.  Lael.  Ciara.  You're dismissed."

Ciara was thankful for the opportunity to separate Lael from Xena.  "Yes, your Majesty."  She took Lael by the arm and not so gently nudged her from the room.

Karis waited until a new stillness overtook the space before going to Xena.  "I am truly sorry."

Xena calmed her anger.  "I'm grateful for the chance to explain."

"There have been times in the past season that my belief in you and Gabrielle kept me going when nothing else could.  I wasn't going to turn my back on either of you easily.  Anyway, it was Gabrielle who reminded me to judge with compassion."

"Thank you."

"Come on.  You look like you could use some rest.  I've arranged guest quarters for Eve."

Xena nodded.

The three left the Council Chambers and walked across the courtyard to Gabrielle and Xena's hut.  After bidding Xena a good night, Karis escorted Eve to her nearby lodgings.  "You never received my message.  I had asked Gabrielle to tell you that I appreciated the fact that you did not assume your welcome."

"I'm not proud of my crimes against your people.  Queen Varia was generous in her sentencing.  Not all who were present at my trial agreed with her decision."

"And the new Queen might feel threatened by your right of caste," Karis added.

Eve stopped.  "What do you mean my right of caste?"

"From Queen Gabrielle.  You didn't know?"

"No."

"Soon after you were born, Gabrielle bestowed her right of caste to you.  Other than formally adopting you, I don't think she could have declared her love for you in any stronger way.  Xena was not the only one cheated in raising a daughter."

"You don't know how much I wish they had raised me."

"Your destiny carved a far different path for you.  And yet you share Queen Gabrielle's love of peace."

"She still tries to use words before the sword?"

"Yes, and she uses them well."

They continued to walk.  Eve broke the silence.  "Right now it's hard to talk to my mother about Gabrielle.  She did say Gabrielle had recovered from her illness."

"A few days before leaving to join you, Gabrielle gave our warriors a Master's lesson in the quarterstaff.  It was a sight to behold."

"Is it true?  Was she near death?"

"It was painful to watch her get weaker with each passing day.  I have never seen Xena….  it was torture for her.  And now this…"

"Maybe I shouldn't leave her alone tonight."

"Eve.  One thing I've learned about Gabrielle is that ultimately she lives in a world that is only for Xena.  And, because of that there are times when her solitude is more important than any outside friendships.  We simply cannot understand, no matter how good our intentions, and by trying to force ourselves into her world we are only being selfish.  I believe in regard to Gabrielle, the same is true for Xena."

Understanding that her words could be interpreted in a way she did not intend, Karis offered consolation  "Xena's love for Gabrielle doesn't speak any less to the love she holds for you."

"I know.  My mother was able to let me go.  She knew I had my own life to live and she was happy for me.  I've always wondered if she could ever know happiness without Gabrielle."

Xena opened the door to her quarters with trepidation.  For many moons it have been her home, a home shared with Gabrielle.  The memories it housed were both wonderful and heartbreaking, testament to a life shared with love, honesty and passion.  It was a life she put at risk.  Whether she could mend the breach was in question.  She hated the uncertainty and feared the outcome.

Their belongings remained undisturbed.  Gabrielle had left all in familiar order waiting for their joint return.  A number of Gabrielle's scrolls lay upon her desk, two quills and a small, covered ceramic inkpot beside them.  Xena's own saddlebags hung over the desk chair.  She assumed courtesy of Jamine.  On the bed lay the woven blankets that kept them warm during the cool spring nights.  To the far side their extra clothes set in the tall, open shelves.  All awaited her, all but Gabrielle. 

Xena walked to the shelves.  Side by side lay her and Gabrielle's sleep shirts.  She reached out and felt the soft fabric of Gabrielle's shirt against the surface of her hand.  She took possession of it, walked to their bed and sat down. Leaning her elbows upon her thighs, she held the cloth with reverence.  Slowly, she raised the sleep shirt up to her face.  She could smell the sweet scent of the bard.  Her fists tightened their hold on the cloth.  Having lost her ability to arrest her fear and loneliness, her body trembled.  She buried her face into the cloth and cried freely.

She had not expected Gabrielle to leave the Amazons, at least not so quickly.  Gabrielle's decision to seek solitude affirmed the depth of her injury.  They stood on equal ground.  No one could console them, no one but the other.  Xena knew that as great as her pain was, Gabrielle bore the greater burden.  Gabrielle believed herself betrayed and abandoned.  She carried the mark of Xena's violence across her face.  She did not know the truth.

Though Xena knew the truth, though her actions in the clearing were motivated to save the bard's life, she knew that all was a consequence of her miscalculations.  She had error upon error to account for.  She had been willing to pay what she believed was the price.  What she believed was the price and what she now faced was irreconcilable.  The bitter price, made known to her in total during the passing days, was unjust.  The price should have been hers to pay alone.  It was not.  She saw the toll in the dark shadows falling behind Gabrielle's eyes as the bewildered bard looked up to her trying to make sense of her senseless, vicious rejection. 

Knowing the bard as she did, Xena's greatest fear was that Gabrielle would blame herself.  In spite of their years together, in spite of Gabrielle's extraordinary maturation, she still harbored a trace of the youthful girl who entered somewhat naively into a friendship with the warrior.  As flawed as Xena knew herself to be, as flawed as Gabrielle recognized Xena to be, it had never stopped the bard from looking to Xena for guidance, from giving Xena the benefit of the doubt, to placing Xena before herself. 

The absence of her connection with Gabrielle left Xena hollow.  Spent, she leaned back onto the bed.  Gabrielle's sleep shirt remained at her side.  Xena's body was numb from an abuse she was unwilling to acknowledge.  Her soul retreated into an elemental protective shell; one that in the past only Gabrielle's healing touch had the power to penetrate.

Inconsolable, Xena closed her eyes.  Her mind was capable of holding to only one image.  Xena recalled Gabrielle's easy smile as they bade farewell before she left to meet Eve.  She recalled how they stood silently beside Argo, Gabrielle taking Xena's hand, intertwining their fingers.  How with the years, silence was no longer an indication of disunion but of union, words becoming less necessary.  Moments of parting, no matter how brief were both painful and reassuring.  They loved so deeply, so completely that not seeing one another, not being able to share a word or a smile or a touch made life incomplete. 

Xena needed to find Gabrielle if only to tell her the truth.  If Gabrielle could not find it in her heart to forgive her, Xena resolved to leave the bard without protest.  That very real prospect bore itself into Xena's marrow.  She felt the ensuing fracture.  Her body's bone collapsed as she held herself like an injured animal unable to care for its own wounds. 

The young healer carried a breakfast tray.  She knocked lightly on the Queen's quarters.  She heard neither an invitation nor a rebuff.  She opened the entrance door slowly.  The morning light cut across the interior darkness.  She spied the warrior asleep in her bed.  Julian placed the tray upon the desk.  She then went to the window, opening the shutters.  Xena awoke to the infusion of light. 

Julian went back to the breakfast tray.  "I brought you something to eat and some tea."

Xena sat up in the bed wordlessly.  Her exhaustion was evident in her failure to sense Julian's entrance.

Julian took the mug of tea in hand and offered it to her Queen's Champion.

"Thank you."

"I don't know what happened to Gabrielle…or to you.  Ciara won't speak of it… I thought you would want to know that in Gabrielle's scroll case there is a black leather satchel.  When she was very sick she wrote a number of scrolls for your eyes only.  If she had died before you returned to the village I was to give them to you.  The one with the blue ribbon is the one she wanted you to read first."

Xena set the mug of tea on the bedside table.  She placed her feet on the floor but doubted she had the strength to stand.  Her gaze went to the wooden chest on the floor near Gabrielle's desk.  What awaited her was sure to cut her frail heart further.  There was no choice.  She drew in a deep breath then pushed herself up with her arms.  Xena walked the three necessary steps to reach the case.  She knelt down on one knee.  Her uncertain hands opened the chest.  The black satchel rested against the left corner.  With one hand she traced the leather with her fingertips.  The satchel was new to her.  She raised it up with great care.  Xena held Gabrielle's heart. 

"Should I tell Eve to meet you in the dining hall?"  Julian spoke in a hush.

"Yes.  I'll try not to be long."

Having done all that she could, Julian took her leave.

Xena returned to the bed.  She removed five scrolls from the satchel.  Her eyes traveled from one to the other.  Although she did not know what was written upon the parchment, she valued each scroll as priceless.  At center lay the one scroll wrapped with a blue ribbon.  Xena took it in hand and undid the tie.  She then carefully broke the Queen's seal.  Her hands trembled as she opened the scroll and began to read.

My love -




Yesterday was a difficult day.  I'm frightened that I won't be here when you return.  After all our years together, after spending countless days and nights with you there is still so much I want to say to you.  Sappho's words were true…

There's a moment when I look at you

And no speech is left in me.

My tongue breaks.

Then fire races under my skin and I tremble.

And grow pale for I am dying of such love

Or so it seems to me.

You would think that being a bard I'd have my own words, but I don't.  I've never had the words to describe your courage, your honor, your beauty, your grace or your intelligence.  I've never been able to describe how deeply your touch moves me or how I've never stopped longing to hear your voice - the way you say my name, the way you laugh - your song.

I will never understand why you let this peasant girl from Poteidaia into your life.  You have given me memories beyond my imagination.  Together we have known great joy and great sorrow.  Together we learned to forgive each other and to forgive ourselves.  Together we have reached out and helped others for the greater good.  Together we found our individual Ways.  Mine always the Way of Friendship.  And yours, always the Way of the Warrior.  As we fulfilled our destinies we've delved the depths of Tartarus, experienced Paradise, and walked much of the known world.

Xena, know that you complete me.  Without you I have no home.  Without you I would wander the earth unable to feel the warmth of the sun or see the magnificence of the stars.  You have been a gift to me.

Please find it in your heart to forgive me once again.  I did not choose to leave you.  My place has always been by your side. 

Until our eternity begins anew, carry my love in your heart as I carry your love in mine.

Gabrielle

Xena's heart stilled, a stunned silence.  Her mind staggered trying to place Gabrielle's words within the context in which they were written, in which Xena was meant to read them and not within the present state of events.  As she read the scroll she heard Gabrielle's voice behind every word.  Gabrielle's low throaty voice embodied the bard's essence.  Here was the bard stripped naked.  Gabrielle's fear, her self image as a Poteidaian peasant girl, her yearning for a place in the world, a home that had become inseparable from Xena, all that Xena cherished in the bard lay in the words, in the voice.  Gabrielle gave of herself in complete trust. 

Xena was overwhelmed.  What she felt, the thoughts in her mind -- all were too much for her.  By her will she closed her heart and mind.  Her mission remained unchanged.  She had to find Gabrielle.  Nothing else mattered.  Her own feelings were inconsequential. 

Fully armed, the Warrior Princess left the Queen's quarters, with her saddlebags over her shoulder and a black satchel in her hand.  Her confident gait and vigilant gaze radiated a determination only a fool would doubt as artifice.  Her steadfast reticence in place, outsiders had no chance of breaching her guard.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Eve and Xena traveled a half moon cycle before encountering anyone who recalled seeing a woman of Gabrielle's description.  Their confidence rose when the merchant mentioned the stranger's white stallion.  He had little more to offer other than to confirm that Gabrielle seemed to be in good health except for a subsiding bruise on her cheek.  They followed the road east toward the coast.  Another half moon cycle passed with one frustration after another as guidance received led to nothing.  Gabrielle seemed to have chosen to stay on the less traveled roads, wandering with no specific destination in mind.  Those who said they might have seen a rider on the white stallion said they did so only in passing. 

Eve had refused Xena's entreaty to return to Indus.  Eve argued that she traveled to Greece to see Gabrielle and she had no intention of leaving until she did.  What remained unspoken was her growing concern for her mother's well being.  Xena had been pushing them both relentlessly.  She had not been eating and her sleep was fitful.  The few raiders they had met on the road were given no more than a heartbeat to move aside before they met the end of Xena's sword.

It was late morning when they reached a crossroad.  From their first day on the road Eve had yielded the decision making to Xena.  "Which way?"

"I'll go north.  You take the south road.  We can meet back here tonight."

Eve hesitated.  "I don't think that's a good idea."

Xena argued with her usual decidedness.  "We need to pick up our pace.  It's only a few candlemarks to the coastal villages.  Eve, it's not like we haven't split our search before."

"Do I have your word that you will come back and wait for me?"

"What else would I do?"

"I don't know… I'm worried about you.  You've hardly said a word since we left Vólos."

Xena considered her daughter with affection.  There were some things that they understood about each other without need for words.  Their common violent youth and living with the consequences of their actions being one of them.  There was, however, a limit to their empathy.  Xena would never hold the reverence for the divine that had so clearly touched Eve's heart.  In turn, Eve never experienced a great mortal love for man or woman.  Knowing this left Xena to speak in the simplest terms.  To say more contributed nothing.  "I miss her."

"All right."  Eve emphasize her next statement.  "We'll meet here tonight."

Xena nodded.  "Be careful."

"I will.  You, too."

"Well lass, I think I might have seen her," the innkeeper offered.  His name was Jacek.  He had a kind way about him.  He was an older man, a hand taller than Eve.  His thin, ruffled look and easy smile had a charm of its own. 

Eve leaned over the serving counter.  "Do you know where she went?"

He wiped his hands on his apron.  "Don't know if she's still at the vineyard.  A young widow by the name of Karin took your friend on as a field worker.  Your friend helped her load some supplies on her wagon.  They struck up a conversation and Karin offered her the job.  It's hard work.  Your friend might already be on her way."

"Is the vineyard far?"

"Not too far.   Take the east road and keep going until you hit the coast.  Go south down a ways and you'll see the vineyard.  Can't miss it."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, lass."

In their travels, Eve and Xena had learned little about the stranger on the white stallion.  Much that defined Gabrielle had been kept from those who had seen her.  Gabrielle was said to be of few words, solemn, reclusive.  The descriptions caused Eve to fear for Gabrielle.  She feared that the bard was losing the essence of her soul.  "Jacek.  Can I ask you a question?"

The innkeeper was accommodating.  "What is it?"

"Did my friend tell any stories while she stayed here?"

"Stories?  Why no.  What kind of story would a girl like her tell?"

"She's a bard."

Jacek was skeptical.  "Can't be.  She hardly said a word.  Came into the inn to get out of the rain.  Ate quiet in the corner and then went off to her room.  I didn't see her until morning and then it was only to let me know she was on her way."

"What was she wearing?"

"Lass, I'm not much for fashion."  He paused in thought.  "But then your friend is a pretty thing.  She had a green tunic and a black cloak."

"Thank you."

"Lass."

"Yes."

"It's my turn to ask a question."  He offered Eve his compassionate regard.  "What happened to her?"

"What do you mean?"

"She's a sad one, isn't she?"

"She has reason to be."

"Well, that's too bad."  The man's gentle eyes consoled.  "I hope you find her."

"So do I."

The road wound at the crest of the seacoast cliffs.  Below, the Aegean Sea crashed against the natural stone wall.  Above, seabirds flew calling out to one another as they rode the wind.  Eve made her way onto the vineyard.  A two-story house stood before her, to her right, across a small yard a stable and to the right of the stable a large work and storage shed.  The buildings and grounds were well kept.  A little girl about seven seasons old ran laughing from the shed to the house.  She had long sandy brown hair and a dark complexion.  A boy another four or five seasons older followed her.  His hair matched the little girl’s in color.  It fell down covering his ears, tapering longer in the back until it touched his neck.  They were healthy looking children.  Eve assumed they were sister and brother. 

Eve dismounted and led her horse forward.  Beyond the buildings lay the heart of the vineyard.  Hooding her eyes from the sun with her hand, she could see three workers, one man and two women.  Eve moved closer, her hope of having concluded her search rising with each step.  As she passed the stable she hitched her mount to a post.  She quickened her step toward the trellis where the smaller, blond woman worked training the vines.  Eve paused a few paces from the worker whose back was to her.  The woman wore a loose, muted red shirt and gray pantaloons.

"Gabrielle."

Gabrielle heard her name spoken by a familiar voice.  She turned, hesitant in her demeanor.  "Eve."  Gabrielle glanced over Eve's shoulder before returning her gaze to the young woman. 

"Mother and I have been looking for you."

Gabrielle did not articulate her first thought.  She did not ask why, after being discarded, she had been sought.  All hope set aside, she could not imagine a reason that would not cause her further pain.  "How did you find me?" 

"The village innkeeper told me that you might be here."

Gabrielle had gathered her thoughts sufficiently to pursue her first concern.  "Why are you here?"  Her tone was not meant to be unkind but neither was she inviting.

Eve felt the absence of Gabrielle's usual warmth.  The bard had changed.  "I'm responsible for what happened between you and Xena at the ridge."

Gabrielle was incredulous.  "How could you be responsible?"

"The man's name was Bedros.  He was once one of my Lieutenants.  He took me prisoner and sent a message to Mother to come and get me."

"Without me?" 

"I'm sure she thought she could handle him alone."

Gabrielle felt a familiar disappointment.  "But she couldn't, could she?" There was an accusation in Gabrielle's question, one motivated by injury.

"I can tell you what I know.  I think there's more but Mother hasn't spoken to me about it."

Gabrielle's tone softened.  "I'm listening." 

Eve gave Gabrielle a complete account of the events, as she knew them.  Gabrielle listened, absorbing every fact.  She tried to find the truth in light of the new information.  There was something wrong with Eve's telling.  Gabrielle did not know why, but though she would not challenge the veracity of Eve's story, she was certain that as Eve's own words suggested, there was more, and only Xena knew what that more was.

Having completed the telling, Eve waited.  She did not receive the response she had hoped for.  Gabrielle was impassive.

"Thank you for finding me and telling me."  Gabrielle spoke with gentle sincerity.  She tried to separate Eve from the tumult of emotions she felt toward Xena.

"What are your plans?"

"I promised to stay through summer and the harvest."

Eve searched for a trace of Gabrielle's tie to her mother.  "What will you do after the harvest?"

"I don't know."  Gabrielle had not thought about the future.  The future offered too little promise to cause her care.

For Eve, there was no more time for subtleties.  "Gabrielle, may I tell Mother I found you?"

Gabrielle remained silent.

"Please."  Eve implored.  "She was certain you went back to your tribe.  When we learned you hadn't been seen, we went to Poteidaia.  If Lila knew where you were she didn't tell us."

"She doesn't know."

"We've been combing the countryside.  I've watched Mother carefully.  She's trying to be strong but I don't know how much longer she can stand not knowing where you are.  She needs to see you.  Please don't ask me to lie to her."

Gabrielle set aside the possibility of having Eve withhold the knowledge of her whereabouts from Xena.  "You don't have to lie."

"Thank you."  Eve's waning hope renewed.   "I should go.  Mother expects me back by nightfall.  I'm going to be late."

"How far do you have to travel?"

"At best I won't reach the crossroads until midnight."

Gabrielle said nothing.  She had time to consider what the morrow would bring.

"We will be back.  Do you have a message for Xena?"

Gabrielle shook her head.

Eve took a step back.  She paused and debated whether to pursue her own questions.  "May I ask you something?"

With a nod of her head Gabrielle gave her silent consent.

"Why didn't you tell me you gave me your right of caste?"

The question was unexpected.  Gabrielle recalled the babe she held in her arms during the Amazon initiation.  How different the babe was from Livia, later Eve.  "Because when we found you it didn't seem very important.  You were on a different path.  Your life took you to Eli not to the Amazons."

"It wasn't because of what I had done?"

"You know I couldn't ignore your crimes against the Amazons.  But that wasn't the reason.  It was a moot point.  After twenty-five years I felt I had no legitimate claim to the throne.  The only reason I claimed my rights as a Queen was so I could defend you at your trial."

There was no mention of Joxer's murder.  In that, Eve took solace.  "But why did you give me the right in the first place?"

"Because you were…  because I had so little to give you."  Gabrielle recalled those brief days when both she and Xena had dared to hope that they could live as a family of three.  "I wanted you to always have a home to come to….and because I wanted to love you as my own daughter and Xena ….and Xena approved."

"I'm sorry."  Eve had always approached Gabrielle as her Mother's life partner.  Forging a relationship with Gabrielle hovered in the space between friend and parent.  It was difficult to define.  "I knew it hurt Mother not to be able to raise me.  I didn't think what it might have meant to you."

"There was so much we wanted to give you."  Gabrielle felt the loss anew.  "It wasn't meant to be."

"No, I guess it wasn't.  But some things are meant to be and they are worth fighting for."  Eve exuded her mother's determination. 

Gabrielle watched Eve depart.  She mused that, in Eve's heart, fighting for love did not conflict with the Way of Love.

The widow stood patiently aside, watching the interaction between Gabrielle and the stranger.  The widow was five to seven seasons older than Xena.  Her hair was a darker shade of brown than her children’s.  She wore it braided and held up in a tight bun.  She had strong arms and legs from years of hard work.  Her hazel eyes were bright, capable of conveying both compassion and unyielding determination.  She stood the same height as Eve but carried considerably more weight.  Karin came to Gabrielle’s side.  "A friend?"

Gabrielle went back to her work.  "Yes."

Karin was intrigued.  "Will she visit again?"

"Tomorrow.  And she's bringing someone with her."

"Will they stay for supper?"

Gabrielle retreated back to her aloneness.  "Not as my guests."

The harsh statement surprised the widow.  "Is that how you show hospitality, Gabrielle?"

"Karin.  I'm here as hired help.  If you expect anything more than a good day’s work from me I'll be on my way."

"No.  You're right."  Karin tried to ease the tension.  "I don't know what I would have done without your help.  Tobias and I couldn't manage the vineyard alone."

Gabrielle said nothing.  She returned to her task.

Karen hired Gabrielle not only because she needed the labor but because there was something about the young woman's mien that stirred the widow's compassion.  Karin observed how Gabrielle took refuge in the sea cabin. She ate her meals in solitude.  She spent her free time alone by the sea, leaving the sea only to exercise her stallion, which she did regularly.  Though the children had hinted at riding with her, Gabrielle had not consented.

Karin knew little about Gabrielle.  Only that she had been looking for a place to live, was willing to work hard and that not long ago she had been ill.  The extent of her illness was one of Gabrielle's many mysteries.  During her first days working, she had difficulty completing a full day’s work.  Within a half-moon Gabrielle's growing stamina enabled her to work steadily.  It was then left to Karin to remind her young work hand to rest. 

Now, a second stranger had come.  Another young, beautiful woman obviously not of the same ken as Gabrielle.  Predictably, Gabrielle did not offer an explanation.  Karin had experienced more than one awkward exchange, similar to that which just transpired, where her attempts to break Gabrielle's silence had failed miserably.   Each time Gabrielle closed herself to all.   Each time Karin felt like an intruder in spite of her best intentions.

The widow would welcome a friendship.  Instinctively she knew a friendship with Gabrielle was not to be.  She suspected her lost opportunity was great.  The children felt it too.  They were left confused by the limits to Gabrielle's gentleness and kindness.  There was an invisible line they could not see, but was all the same real.  It was a line they were not allowed to cross.  Gabrielle kept them always at arm's length.

Karin recalled the recent evening when Aric had spoken to her in confidence.  He had gone to the beach hoping to spend the remaining evening hours of daylight fishing.  He stumbled over his own feet upon seeing Gabrielle sitting on a tall boulder, crying.  Gabrielle heard him and looked over to him, steadfast in her silence.  Uncertain of what to do, he turned back home.  Karin consoled her son as best as she could.  She could not explain Gabrielle's pain; only confirm that the young woman carried an unknown burden, one that she was unwilling to share.  The boy wanted to help.  Karin saw her own frustration reflected in Aric's eyes.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Xena sat up against Argo's saddle, her bedroll laid underneath her keeping the dry, dusty soil from her skin.  A small fire burned.  Her day's effort had been for naught.  She waited impatiently for Eve's return, speculating reasons for her daughter's delay, debating whether to break camp and follow her trail.  She decided to wait another candlemark before beginning her search.

In the interim Xena allowed her memories of the bard release.  Being alone granted Xena the freedom to open her mind and heart, to let her thoughts carry her where they might, without concern of whether her private journey would be observed.  The sorrow and the brief wisps of joy the memories granted her were not meant to be shared with anyone other than her soulmate.

Xena reached back and lifted the black satchel from the saddle.  She had yet to read the remaining scrolls.  She could not imagine leaving them behind, but at the same time to read them was to intentionally broach Gabrielle's realm, leaving her own protected fortress.  The first scroll's effect had been crushing. 

Xena missed the bard and sought the comfort only the bard could give her.  'Let the Fates have their cursed way,' she thought to herself as she reached into the satchel and removed a scroll.  She broke its seal.  A small, loose piece of parchment separated from the scroll.  She read it first.

My love -

There is so little for me to give you, but as it always has been, what is mine is yours.  This scroll is meant to make sure that your rights are honored.  If there is a difference of opinion, I don't want you to be troubled by Lila or my Amazon sisters.

My wishes have not changed.  If you still plan to be buried beside Lyceus and Cyrene in Amphilpolis, please lay me with them. If not, let my ashes go to the wind. 

Trust that I shall keep my promise.  Wherever on the other side I find myself, I will wait for you.

Gabrielle

Xena set the loose parchment aside and read the scroll.

To the ruling public authorities of Greece and to the Amazon Nation-

Let it hereby be known that I, Gabrielle of Poteidaia, bard and Queen of the Greek Amazons, bequeath all that I own, all that I have title or rights to, to Xena of Amphilpolis. 

I also give Xena of Amphilpolis authority to my remains to be buried or burned as she sees fit.  May she sing her song over me.

Gabrielle

Xena reread Gabrielle's simple will.  The bard was wise in nuance and Xena understood that Gabrielle had bequeathed her formal standing with the Amazons, something that Xena had never asked for and that the Amazons had never openly invited.  That Gabrielle once again reaffirmed her desire to rest beside Xena and Xena's family was no surprise.  It had been a constant request and one Xena was humbled to grant.  The warrior rolled the scroll and held it in hand.  She closed her eyes and called her heart to open completely.  In the moment she gave her Champion's oath anew. 

Gabrielle, Queen of the Amazons.  My Queen.  I pledge my sword to defend your majesty before all that would do you and your nation harm.  If ever I betray this pledge, if ever I do you harm, I grant you leave to take my life with my sword.  Without your faith in me my life has no value.

Xena opened her eyes and stared down to her right hand.   It was that hand that struck Gabrielle.  She broke her oath.  In grief, Xena questioned whether she still had the right to be the Queen's Champion.  She was ready to offer her sword to Gabrielle.  She felt having the sword used against her would be a merciful fate compared to having Gabrielle deny her as she had denied Gabrielle.

Xena was in the process of saddling Argo when she heard an approach, a single rider on horseback.  She took it for Eve and released a sigh of relief.  Eve came to the light.

"Hey, I was worried.  Problems?"

Eve dismounted.  "I found Gabrielle."

Xena stared at Eve in disbelief.  She looked back into the dark searching for the bard even though she knew Eve had come alone.  "Where…how is she?"

Eve chose not to answer the latter question.  "She's working in a vineyard by the sea."

"You saw her?"

"Yes.  I told her what happened."

"She didn't come with you."  The enormity of Gabrielle's decision struck Xena at her core.

"No.  She said she made a commitment to work through harvest."

Xena's doubts rose.  "Will she see me?"

"I told her we would be back tomorrow."  Eve had watched as the breadth of human emotion crossed Xena's face.  "Mother, Gabrielle is… distant and sad."

Xena had not known what to expect.  Eve just gave her a first glimpse to what she would be facing in the coming day.  Xena isolated her greatest hope, her surest dreams, and secured them protectively inside her heart. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Xena observed from a distance.  Gabrielle wore a simple sleeveless gray tunic girdled with a black leather belt.  Her body was well tanned.  She had maintained her weight, much of the lost muscle in her arms and legs regained.  Notably, she was weaponless.

Gabrielle felt a familiar sensation.  She had felt the same sensation during the previous evening.  It was a sensation she had not felt since encountering Xena on the ridge.  Her eyes closed, she concentrated, blocking the sights, sounds, and smells of nature, focusing on her shared sixth sense.  Gabrielle no longer felt the sun against her skin, heard the sea birds or tasted the salt air upon her tongue.  She struggled to discern whether her sense of Xena was real or a play of an anticipating mind.  By Eve's statement she knew she would soon see the warrior.  She stood and looked toward the house, using her arm to block the blinding sun.  Argo and Eve's mount were standing at the hitching post.  A dark figure approached.  Though the details of the individual were impossible to recognize, Xena's identity was unquestionable. 

Gabrielle's emotions clashed within her.  She took a steadying breath.  With the parceling of her grief to a corner of her heart came a renewed calm.

"Gabrielle."

Before her stood Xena dressed in a loose blue shirt and black pantaloons.  The bard could not find her way to saying the warrior's name. 

Xena stopped a few paces away.  "How are you?"

The bard spoke softly.  "Eve told me what happened.  You didn't have to come."  

Xena fought to stay the impact of Gabrielle's resignation.  "I wanted to…  Eve doesn't know the whole story.  You deserve an explanation."  Xena took Gabrielle’s silence as consent to continue.  "I had to make a choice." 

"You chose to go alone."  A spark of Gabrielle's spirit rose to the surface. 

"Yes, I did."

"Why didn't you send word to me?"

Xena remembered the layers of deceit she sensed surrounding her.  "It was hard to know who to trust.  I didn't want to take the chance of having the messenger intercepted."

"You could have come yourself."  Gabrielle insisted with more passion than reason. 

"I was fighting time.  I wasn't going to risk Eve's life."

"You risked both Eve's life and your own by going after her without backup.  Why wasn't I with you?"

Xena swallowed.  "I almost lost you."

Gabrielle refused to accept the justification.  "Not in battle."

"It wasn't a risk I was willing to take."

"That was your first mistake.  The risk was mine, not yours.  Maybe I couldn't have made a difference, but I have a tribe of Amazon warriors that could have."

"This was my fight, not the Amazons."

"Since when is Eve not a part of my life?"  Gabrielle was vehement.  "This was our fight.  And you can't separate me from my tribe."

"I'm sorry."  Xena's apology was heartfelt.  "I misjudged Bedros."

"This has nothing to do with Bedros.  It has to do with you and me.  I thought we were beyond your unilateral decisions."

The warrior defended herself with a sharp retort.  "Is it wrong to want you safe?"

"Is it wrong for me to want you safe?"  Gabrielle did not stand down.  "It goes both ways.  It always has."

Xena yielded.  "I know." 

Silence fell between the two.  Gabrielle broke the stillness heeding her need for a complete accounting. 

"Why did you break our bond?"

"I needed you to believe me.  I didn't want you to fight my decision."

"How could you think I would just let you walk away?"

"I couldn't have you follow me.  Bedros had his men trained on you.  Their orders were to kill you if you made a move to stop me or if you tried to follow me.  I never…"  Xena drifted into silence.

Gabrielle suspected that there was indeed more to be said.  Something inside her feared the truth.  Still, she would have the truth.  Nothing less.  "You said Eve didn't know the whole story.  What haven't you told me?"

Xena secured every insecurity she harbored.  "What Bedros said to you..."

Gabrielle's insightful gaze pierced the warrior.

"I wanted to kill him on the spot for lying to you, but then it didn't matter in the long run because at the end he got what he wanted.  I didn't plan to…It wasn't…"  Xena took a breath reining in her emotions.  She chose her words carefully.  "He kept Eve far enough away from me that I couldn't make a move without risking her life.  I'm a patient woman.  I told myself that I would just cut the life out of him the first chance I had.  And I did.  But, not before…" 

Gabrielle shook her head in a meager effort to negate the veracity of her nightmares.  "No."

Xena saw a vestige of Gabrielle's most profound violation.  It was a terror not to be revived.  She made a choice.  Xena steeled herself as she looked Gabrielle directly in the eye.  "I use my body every day to defeat scum like him."

What Eve believed to be a lie, was the truth.  The truth as Gabrielle believe it to be was once again supplanted. She was hurled back to the ridge, back to a stroke of crushing pain more injurious than any physical strike Xena had the power to inflict upon her.  Gabrielle's anger broke through.  "No!  Not in that way.  Not anymore.  Not since we've been together."

Xena strove to minimize the impact of her truth.  "I can go through the motions without feeling…"

"You had no right!"  Gabrielle's anger turned to rage.  "Your body isn't yours to give.  You gave me your pledge.  You belonged to me."

"Gabrielle.  It's done."

Gabrielle was stunned by Xena's simple, direct closure of the argument.  She was unwilling to accept the merit of Xena's action without question.  She could not set aside Xena's deeds as if they were meaningless.  The bard turned and walked away toward the sea.

Forsaken, Xena watched Gabrielle's departure feeling herself gutted of all that was sweet in her life.  She looked down to the dirt.  Was it pride that had demanded the price she found herself paying or was it self-preservation?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Karin had left the house and gone out to the porch to introduce herself to Eve.  Eve offered little information other than that she was waiting while Xena spoke to Gabrielle.  Karin silently joined Eve in vigil.  Together they watched Gabrielle walk away from Xena.  Together they watched, as Xena stood alone in the field, her head bowed. 

Karin knew that she was witness to two conflicted souls.  It was her first true insight to Gabrielle.  She was certain that Xena was the key to her young field hand's sorrow.  Karin assessed the tall, dark woman as she walked toward the house.  She was a woman of unique presence.  More than beautiful, she was commanding.  Karin would not have been surprised to learn that Xena was of royal blood.  As formidable as the woman seemed, Karin saw too her vulnerability and pain.  With each approaching step the vulnerability and pain was subdued.  Upon reaching her and Eve, there was no trace of what had been perceptible only a moment before 

Eve did the introductions.  "Karin, this is my mother, Xena."

Karin disguised her surprise well.  Xena did not strike her as being old enough to have a child Eve's age. 

"Good day to you."

"You have a nice place here."

"Thank you.  I do my best.  Having Gabrielle work this season has been a blessing.  Tobias, my other hand, is more a wine maker than a laborer.  You wouldn't be interested in some work would you?  The both of you, of course."

Eve spoke up.  "I need to be leaving soon, but…"  She looked toward her mother giving quiet encouragement.

Xena studied the vineyard and its buildings.  "Your stable and shed look like they could use some roof repair."

"Yes, indeed they do.  If that's the kind of work you prefer… I can't pay you much."

"A place to sleep in the stable and meals plus board for my horse is all I need."

Karin was pleased.  "If you work half as hard as Gabrielle, I will be getting a great bargain."

"Then we have a deal."  Xena turned to her daughter.  "How long will you stay?"

"I want to say good-bye to Gabrielle first."

"Give her some time."

Karin offered.  "Gabrielle stays at my sea cabin at the cliff edge.  She values her privacy, doesn't she?"

Xena answered.  "Yes, she does.  What did Gabrielle tell you about herself?"

"Not too much.  We met in the village.  Since my husband died I've learned to depend on myself and no one else.  Gabrielle offered to help me load my wagon while I was in the village.  I was too tired to protest.  I think she thought I was ill.  We spoke a little.  She told me she had been ill and how hard it had been for her to let others care for her.  She said one of the lessons she learned was that she could give to others by letting them give to her.  It helped her friends not feel so helpless. So, I accepted her help and offered her a place here.  Gabrielle told her story well.  She was quite convincing.  "

"She can be."

"If Gabrielle wasn't so quiet, I'd say she’d make a good bard."

Xena could not help but quip.  "You don't get too far from the vineyard, do you?"

"Maybe not, but I know a good bard when I hear one.  She may not be a Homer or a …" Karin was struck with an impossible thought.  "Gabrielle of Poteidaia."  Karin assessed the woman in front of her.  "Xena… You're not dressed like a warrior."

"I thought it might be better if we kept a low profile."

"How can it be?  Why would Gabrielle choose to spend the season in a vineyard?  Why would you?  I don't understand."

"Karin, I can't explain, but trust me.  Gabrielle is where she needs to be.  I won't leave her and I'm not in a position to ask her to leave the vineyard and break her promise to you."

"Is it true she's an Amazon Queen?"

"Yes."

"The legends…" Karin looked over to Eve.  One question was answered.  "They're true aren't they?"

"Some are."  Xena understood that Karin had found herself in the midst of more than she had bargained for.  "Look, I know it's one thing to have Gabrielle here and its another to have me.  If you don't want me to stay I'll find another way."

"What does Gabrielle want?"

Xena was frank.  "I'm not sure Gabrielle will welcome having me around.  I do know she needs time to think things through."

"And you're going to stay until she does."

"I need to be sure."

Karin weighed the possibilities.  "It would probably be better if you stay here than go back to town.  Less people to talk."

Xena was grateful.  "Makes sense."

"Well then, let me show you where you can sleep."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Xena-

I've been thinking about how and why a peasant girl becomes a warrior. 

Your Way has always been the Way of the Warrior.  Trying to protect your home you fought Cortese.  The loss of Lyceus, Caesar's betrayal and Alti's temptations shaped you into the Destroyer of Nations.  And then La Ma mentored you, a child touched your heart, you survived the gauntlet, felt Hercules' belief in you and crossed paths with a peasant girl from Poteidaia.  The Destroyer of Nations became a woman who fights for the Greater Good.  From the beginning to the end you have been a warrior.

I was a girl who enjoyed telling stories and who felt she didn't belong in her small village.  I was seeking adventure.  When I met you I knew I wanted you to teach me everything you knew.  I wanted to be a warrior like you, or so I thought.

You didn't want me to fight and one of the first lessons you taught me was that by carrying a sword I became a target.  You also taught me that if ever I took a life all would change. 

The staff was my weapon of choice.  I knew it was less deadly than the sword but there was never a doubt in my mind, given Ephiny's lesson, that in skillful hands a staff is a weapon that can maim and kill.

I lost my blood innocence in my ill judged attempt to save Khrafstar.  It was neither an act in reflex or an act in malice.  I wasn't wise enough to save myself and paid the price.  That day, your fear that I would lose my light almost came true.

When Eli entered our lives I thought his message was meant for me.  You were patient.  You tried to understand my Way though you didn't always agree with it.  I relied on your support, more than you may have ever suspected.  I was not being honest with myself or with you.  How could I profess to a Way of Peace when I relied on your use of violence to keep me from harm?.  I wonder now how many times you kept silent in deference to me.  There had to have been more times than I can count.

I faced my moment of truth and my greatest regret was that you held yourself responsible for my choice. 

It was my choice.  My Way from the day I met you has been our friendship.  And from that first confrontation with an angry crowd in Amphipolis to this day, I can do nothing less than try to protect you.  In Amphipolis I used words.  I used my ability to persuade and argue.  It was not the only time I used my bard's skills to keep you safe in spite of your determination to willingly accept punishment for your past wrongs.

My moment of truth did not offer the option of words.  In Caesar's prison courtyard I had to try to save your life.  It was a selfish act.  I valued your life over my own and in that moment my ideals were easily reconciled to what had to be done.  I don't remember how many soldiers I killed.  It didn't matter then.  It doesn't matter now.

Our destinies had been written.  We were both forewarned that we would be crucified.  I died with you and as terrible as my death was, I was consoled by the knowledge that I would never again live my greatest nightmare.  I would never again know life without you.

I knew no greater peace than when we waited for the angels.  I wish to this day that moment in time hadn't been so short lived.

Upon reawakening my path was clear.  I was given the charge to protect you, first because you were lost to your true nature and later because you were with child.

When I told Lila I was leaving Poteidaia to follow you, to become a warrior, I had no idea what that meant.  I was ridiculously romantic.  When the day came that I was acknowledged as a warrior, in my own right, I felt as if I had lost a part of myself.  I wondered where the part of me that held to the words; that searched for a way without force, that was committed to break the cycle of violence and hate had gone.

My illness has stripped my strength from me.  I have returned to being a woman only of words.  I don't deceive myself.  I know my tribe respects me in part because I have proven myself in battle.  I have met their standard of courage even as I have failed to live up to values I hold most dear.

I don't miss my ability to fight with my sais half as much as I miss my mastery of the staff.  I believe the staff is closer to my nature, at least in this lifetime.  For now my staff has another purpose.  I can no longer sustain any measure of a walk without it.

I don't know how I will be remembered.  I don't know if the warrior Queen will overshadow the peacemaker.  I hope there is an honorable place in Amazon history for a Queen who cared enough for her people to take up the sword but only after all alternatives were exhausted.  I also hope that the story of this particular Queen speaks of her love for her Champion, the woman who taught her how to be a noble warrior.

This has been my journey.  I became what I said I would become.  And though at times I felt lost, my doubts were always inward facing.  I never doubted you.  I just had to learn by the living.  For the lessons I had to learn, words of instruction could never be enough.

So, my love, never question whether you did all that could have been done to keep me from the sword.  The Fates had their plan for me.

Looking back at the years I have my regrets, but I also take pride in having the ability to defend myself.   I take pride in knowing that I was able to help many because I had my staff or my sais in hand. And finally, and most importantly, I take pride in the fact that I was able to stand beside you in battle, as a fellow warrior who you trusted with your life.

That has and will always be my Way - the Way of Friendship.

Gabrielle

Xena returned the scroll to the satchel.  She walked the night finding herself drawn to Gabrielle's seaside cabin.  It stood on a breathtaking location at the peninsula's point garnering access to the Aegean to the east and a gentle cove to the west.    She stayed to the south, respecting Gabrielle's privacy.  As she neared the cliff edge her gaze searched the eastern horizon.  There was a peace to be found in the ocean, a peace she wished she could entice inland.  At the foot of the cliff she caught sight of the flicker of firelight.  On a large bolder sat a shadowed figure looking out to the sea.  Xena allowed herself the bittersweet knowledge of Gabrielle's presence.  She turned back to the vineyard and recalled a brief bending of time, a rewriting of their destinies and what Gabrielle came away with because of it.  She wondered if Gabrielle had recalled that time and, if she had, Xena wondered what it meant to Gabrielle now.  Maybe Gabrielle could find reason to move through the pain and sorrow Xena had caused her.  Xena would not leave Gabrielle until she had given back a modicum of what she had destroyed.  She would leave only when she had a sense that the bard's spirit could sustain a steady fire.  Xena was unwilling to admit that she held on to a slender thread of hope that Gabrielle would grace her with an invitation back into the bard's life.

Xena took a deep, steadying breath before taking to the trail down to the beach.  As she did she stopped and picked up pieces of wood to fuel the fire.

Gabrielle sensed the warrior in the distance.  She kept her eyes to the forefront.  She felt no movement, no approach nor retreat, just observance.  Her thoughts lingered back to Eve's farewell.  Gabrielle could still feel Eve's final embrace.  She saw in Eve's eyes the desire to create a closer bond between them.  They both knew it was not the time to build the bond.  They shared one thing above all else and that was their love for Xena.  Their bond, however weak or strong it might be, was anchored in that love. Eve had done what she set out to do.  Whether Gabrielle was ill or whether she had separated from Xena, Eve's primary goal was to ensure that Xena was able to live with the loss.  By Eve's own words, she knew better than to interfere.  It was for her mother and Gabrielle to find their way.  Whether their way was together or apart was something they had to determine for themselves.   

The question consumed Gabrielle.  She remembered waking on the ridge and the days that followed.  There had been no question; there was no possibility of reconciliation.  Within her there was only a void.  Her body numb, her mind strained to regain clarity. 

She was familiar with a cave a half-day's ride away.  Traveling southwest she avoided both Xena's assumed trail and the path to the Amazon village.  Upon reaching the cave she unsaddled Gavan and set him to graze.  She placed her belongings within the cave and hunched her body into a corner against the wall of cold, dry stone.  It was only then that her mind allowed the reliving of the events that took place on the ridge.  It was only then that she acknowledged the breach of their bond, Xena's words, Xena's strike against her, and the man on the black stallion.

Xena's words mercilessly echoed against the cavern walls.  She had been willing to wait.  Gabrielle was now healthy.  Those words left Gabrielle to question all that Xena was to her; to question what was the truth and what was a lie.  She questioned her capacity to judge the difference between one and the other.

She remained in the cave for two days and nights.  A fever assaulted her body and mind.  She lay down on the dirt floor seeking a refuge from the world's brutality.  She was tempted never to move again.  The second night in a dream state she walked an unfamiliar beach.  She was alone.  She was alive.  Gabrielle woke with the memory vivid in her mind.  It was joined by the memory of her sojourn with Xena upon the beach prior to traveling to Sparta.  Those days and nights on the beach had been joyful despite her fatigue.  It had been an easy and passionate time.  What Gabrielle saw as her future melded with her past.

She did not know how she could live but she did know she would live.  In her heart Gabrielle did not want to condemn Xena.  Counter to her greatest desire she now knew she was no different than the others who had crossed paths with Xena.  No one could place a claim on the warrior - not Marcus, not Borias, not Lao Ma. 

On the ridge, Xena had tried to keep her at a distance.  She had warned Gabrielle.  It was Gabrielle who had chosen to disregard the warning.  The blow was a consequence of her actions.  She had driven Xena to break her promise never to strike her again.  It was Gabrielle who, by her ceaseless challenge of Xena, had triggered the violence. 

As Gabrielle's fever subsided, the memory of the sea did not waver.  Its constancy moved Gabrielle to leave the cave, saddle Gavan and ride east.  She traveled day after day with little rest.  She reached the sea at dusk.  The overcast sky darkened, a storm forming.  Gabrielle stood oblivious of the gathering forces.  The winds a tempest, the tidewaters rose.  In the midst of the squall she felt the might of nature against her and she welcomed it.  She felt every inch of her body come to life, breaking free from its benumbed state.  Wind carrying rain and sand pelted her.  She closed her eyes and raised her head feeling the assault against her skin.  The sea crested at her feet.

Her thoughts journeyed back to the Amazon village where Xena had, upon returning from a hunting trip, retrieved her in the middle of a rainy night from Isra's quarters.  Cradled in Xena's arms, covered by a blanket, she had felt warm, safe, loved.  She was in the embrace of the only home she had ever known.  Death imminent, she felt a pure moment of happiness even as she sensed Xena's distress.  No one, not even Xena, could take the memory from her.  No one, not even Xena, could taint the memory.  Gabrielle reclaimed Xena to the extent that Xena had been hers.  Gabrielle reclaimed her soulmate as the first act of accepting her loss.

And now as she sat peering at the darkness over the sea, all that she had tried to come to terms with, all that she struggled to accept had changed.  A new telling of the events was presented.  Xena had not rejected her, but Xena had made the choice of returning to a tactic that Gabrielle believed long buried in the warrior's past, never to be resurrected.  It was an act Gabrielle found morally reprehensible.  Xena's calculated bedding of Bedros trivialized the intimate realm of their shared lives.  Xena's dismissal of the act's importance dismissed Gabrielle's importance.

Gabrielle did not set aside the value of Eve's life.  She would have made the same decision Xena made if there had been no other choice.  Here the means to the end could be justified if the place of measurement began at the ridge.  It did not.  The measure of the means began before the events at the ridge had become necessary.  It began with Xena's decision not to call upon her for help.  That decision caused Gabrielle's soul to quake.

Gabrielle felt a shift.  The sounds of the water against the shore and the sweep of the tall grass' undulation as the sea breeze passed over, all layers of sound were stripped away from her consciousness as her ear captured Xena's footsteps over the sand and stone.  Each weighted step pressed down against the earth causing the small nearby creatures of the earth to scurry away.

Gabrielle turned her head toward Xena's direction just as the warrior broke through the dark of night to the light of the fire.  Xena paused at the perimeter wishing beyond hope for an invitation.  There was only Gabrielle's silence.  The bard dropped her eyes as she turned back to the sea.  Xena braced herself as she stepped forward.  Upon reaching the fire she went down to one knee.  Having fed the fire with a few of the pieces of wood she had gathered, she placed the remainder to the side.

Xena stood, keeping a half-dozen paces from the bard.  She would not trespass farther into Gabrielle's space.  She stepped parallel out toward the water until she stood in line with Gabrielle.  She looked up to the clear sky, painted with a brilliant array of stars.  She was flooded with all the things she wanted to say.  The first word that came to her was Gabrielle's name.

Gabrielle heard the hesitancy in Xena's voice.  She could not ignore it.  She turned and held her gaze to her partner, waiting for the next thought to break free from the warrior's self containment.  Xena kept her gaze fixed to the sea.

"When Eve told me you were staying in a vineyard by the sea I couldn't help but think about the time Caesar changed the Fates' loom.  How you had come to live in a vineyard by the sea to write.  How you became such a well-respected playwright that you were invited to Rome."

Xena's voice drifted with the sea breeze.  She waited, exercising all her patience, hoping for a scrap of conversation to be gifted to her.

"I haven't written a word since I left the north ridge."

Xena dropped her head, the break of heart sharp and quick.  Had she taken everything from Gabrielle?  Heartbeats passed between them in a renewed silence broken only by the crackle of the fire. 

Xena dared to try again.  "It has always helped you in the past."  She turned her gaze to her beloved bard.  "I hope you can find your way back to picking up your quill."

Gabrielle nodded.

"Maybe this vineyard was always meant to be part of your destiny."

"It's different this time.  The other time I didn't know love."

"I remember…"

"The only thing I'm sure of is that no matter how the Fates have thread my life string, that one way or another you have been my destiny."

Xena was hopeful.  "And you are mine."

"Once I thought the only thing that would separate us would be death.  And then I understood that we… our souls were destined to come together through eternity.  Learning about Shakti and Arminestra I realized that what we are meant to learn from age to age would be different.  I hope we don't have to repeat our mistakes.  I don't want to carry the hurt with me from lifetime to lifetime."

"I'm sorry."  Xena did not have the courage to face Gabrielle.

"So am I.  I'm not the girl from Poteidaia anymore.  I haven't been for a long time.  She believed blindly in love and goodness.  Life has a way of teaching a different truth.  It's a truth you knew all along.  You wanted to protect me from it.  Even if you could have protected me from the world, you couldn't protect me from myself.  The truth was always inside me.  It was only a matter of time before I discovered it."

Xena protested. "Gabrielle."

"You are and will always be my soulmate."  Gabrielle's simple assertion cut through the noise in Xena's mind.  Gabrielle continued.  "I can't change that."  She paused and looked out to the sea.  "I don't want to.  Our friendship has been the most important thing in my life, even more than…"  Gabrielle's voice trailed off.

Xena stirred, a sharp panic rising with Gabrielle's use of the past tense.

"Wherever I am.  Whatever the future brings, I want you to know that I don't regret my life with you.  Being with you is the one right choice I made.  It's a choice I have never regretted."

"Why are you saying this to me?"

"I made a promise to work through the harvest.  I plan to be on my way afterward.  This may be the last time I see you.  I wanted you to know…"

"I'm not leaving.”  Xena was adamant.  “Karin offered me a job and I accepted."

"Why?"

"I can fix things around here."

"There are some things that even you can't fix."

Xena's hope buckled along with her ability to stand.  She walked back to the cliff wall and leaned against it for support.  "Will you go home?"

Gabrielle felt a surge of grief.  Xena realized what she had said and would have recalled the words if she could. 

"I've lost my home."  Gabrielle spoke the shared thought.

Xena took a step forward, only one before Gabrielle caught her eye, stopping her.  Xena sought to console.  "The Amazons… You're their Queen.  Karis would welcome you….With time you may come to call your tribe home.  Gabrielle you are not meant to be alone."

Gabrielle looked away.

"Don't let what I did… "

"Xena."  It had been such a long time since Gabrielle had spoken the warrior's name that it gave her pause.  "I'm tired."  Gabrielle got to her feet.

Xena felt the press of Gabrielle's depression and fought not to surrender to it.  "I'll take care of the fire."

"Thank you."  Gabrielle hugged her cloak close to her body and made her way toward the cliff path.

Xena watched Gabrielle's departure.  She was not prepared to leave the bard.  Gabrielle had healing to do and Xena knew she was the best person to help her mend.  Xena also knew her staying had a less altruistic reason.  She had healing to do and Gabrielle was the only person who could help her mend.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Xena's strong strokes cut through the water as her legs rhythmically kicked her forward.  She felt better for the exercise.  She needed to find an outlet for her frustration.  Near a moon's cycle had passed since her arrival.  She had yet to find the key to reaching Gabrielle.  The bard kept her distance, spoke few words not only to her, but to Karin and the children.  By her own admission the bard was not writing.  The break in Gabrielle's spirit had been more severe than Xena anticipated. 

She had tried to minimize the impact upon herself.  She buried the horrible memory of Bedros' touch upon her.  With each stroke she reaffirmed her physical strength and freedom.  What she could not deny was admitting a tactical error.

It was hard to admit that Bedros had outmaneuvered her.  The game of manipulation was epitomized by Bedros' self-satisfied grin, an image burned in her mind's eye.  She remembered the consuming conviction that she was done with games.  She wanted everything over, to go back to her life with Gabrielle.  She could still see the fear in his eyes as she gutted him, slowly, mercilessly.  Fair warning to others who would dare come against her and her own. 

Xena slowed and began to tread water.  She had swum further out into the sea than she intended.  She shook her head trying to clear the most disturbing thoughts from her mind.  She looked up to the cliff edge where Gabrielle's cabin stood in singular relief.  She longed for the day when she would be invited into the bard's haven.  Xena knew time was limited.  The bard was steadfast in her decision to move on after harvest.  She gave no hint to where she would go.  Although the Amazons would welcome her return, Xena doubted Gabrielle would choose to rejoin the Nation. 

As Xena kicked to begin her swim to shore she cried out in pain as a jellyfish's tentacles grazed her abdomen.  The sting was sudden and intense.  A burning sensation cut through her.  Reflexively Xena made an immediate motion to distance herself from further contact.

She knew she had to get to the beach.  The risk of a toxic reaction overrode the pain.  She forced herself to take a stroke and then another driving the pain from her consciousness.   She lost track of everything but her next breath.

Xena felt her hand scrape the ocean floor.  She shifted her legs, gaining firm footing and raising herself out of the water.  She looked down to her stomach.  It was covered with three red strips, each the width of two of her fingers, extending without interruption from side to side.  She felt lightheaded as she continued to walk onto the shore.  Halfway to the cliff path Xena fell to one knee.  There lay her tunic.  She struggled to wrap it around her body, seeking warmth.  The cloth touched her wounds redoubling the pain.  "Got to get help."  She tried to rally herself forward.  Her voice was low and weak, her breathing shallow and rapid.   Even in the warmth of the summer morning her skin remained cool.  "Shock."  She diagnosed herself.  Her body was failing her.   Only her will to live got her back to her feet.  She continued making her way to the cliff path, a rising nausea slowing her.  She reached the path and began the climb up.  She was only a few paces from the top of the cliff when she began to cough.  Each cough magnified the pain across her abdomen.  The jolts were too much for her.  She collapsed just below the cliff ledge.

Aric had secured permission from his mother to spend the afternoon fishing.  Earlier, after a productive morning of work, he had watched his mother gently order Gabrielle to let her tasks wait until the morrow. Living by the ocean, the hot Grecian summer is only moderately tamed by the steady sea winds.  On this day the winds offered little relief from the stifling heat.  With pole in hand he happily made his way through the vineyard.  Aric's experience told him a storm could and probably would form later in the day so he did not hesitate in promising his mother that he would return before evening meal.  As he walked he took note of the quiet.  Xena had not chosen to work the stable roof.  He hadn't seen her all day.  Argo was in his stall so he knew the warrior had to be somewhere nearby. 

He jumped down from the ledge to the cliff trail.  The body lying upon it halted his momentum.  He dropped his pole and bent down to the warrior.  She was still breathing.  He shook her at the shoulder saying her name repeatedly.  She remained unmoved.  He stood up.  His eyes went to the sea cabin.  He began to run with all his might, calling out Gabrielle's name as he did.

Gabrielle was sitting outside her cabin on a bench facing the sea.  She had emptied herself of all thoughts.  During the early morning she had felt a vague nervous dread.  She suspected she knew its source.  Having her connection to Xena, weak as it was, return in such a fearful way left her disorientated. 

She approached her work with a disguised desire to see Xena, to confirm that the warrior was well.  Xena was not to be found.  Neither Karin nor the children had seen her.  Wherever she was, Gabrielle knew Xena had gone by foot.  She allowed herself some measure of peace as the sensation all but disappeared.  Their bond was a gift.  It had given them a means to emotionally share themselves to a depth that transcended all earthly bounds; it was also a key to safeguarding each other in times of illness or injury.  The worry that came with it was its only price.

Through their weakened connection Gabrielle had felt fear, Xena's fear.  And she wanted to know the source of it.  She wanted to confirm that her soulmate was unharmed.  Having willed the termination of their bond Xena proved that the bond was organic to them.  To a certain extent either could choose whether to consent to its presence.  Whether consciously or subconsciously, it was Gabrielle, who prevented Xena from using their bond to find her.  Gabrielle was left to ponder if Xena had reached a point where she too would rather not have their bond affect her as it had in the past.

Gabrielle heard Aric calling her name.  His distress was evident.  She got to her feet and ran to meet him.

"Gabrielle!  It's Xena.  She's hurt."

"Aric."  Gabrielle took the boy by the shoulders trying to calm him.  "Show me."

He turned and ran back to the cliff path.  Gabrielle followed in silence.  Upon reaching the trailhead, Gabrielle went to her knees.  She could hear Aric speaking in the background. 

"Is she all right?"

Gabrielle felt Xena's weak pulse.  She scanned the warrior's body looking for a sign of injury.  She opened Xena's tunic enough to see the red welts.  White lesions had formed on them.

Aric breathed out a grievous sigh.  "Jellyfish."

Gabrielle looked over to him.  "You know what did this?"

He nodded.  "Momma says not to touch."

"Aric.  I need you to run and get your mother.  Tell her what happened.  Tell her I don't know how to help Xena."

"Momma will know what to do."  Aric began to back-step.  He then turned and ran at full speed.  "I'll get Mama!"

Gabrielle looked back to the warrior.  She swept Xena's long strands of black hair from her ashen face.  With Aric gone she renewed her examination carefully trying to determine if there were any more injuries.  The three lashes from the jellyfish's tentacles were all that she found.  She was stunned by the reality that the sea creature had taken the warrior down, leaving her vulnerable to the elements.

Gabrielle hated the feeling of complete helplessness.  She held Xena's hand but found little comfort in its iciness.  The bard leaned down to Xena's ear.  "Xena.  Listen to me.  We are not done yet.  We've got unfinished business between us so you can't leave me.  Not yet.  I won't let you leave me this way.  So hold on, damn it!  Karin and I will take care of you and then we’ll talk."

Karin and Gabrielle struggled to carry Xena to the sea cabin.  Aric led the way carrying a bundle of supplies his mother had given him.  He opened the door and removed any obstacles between them and Gabrielle's bed.

"Lay her on her back."  Karin directed.  Exhausted, they made one last strenuous effort to lay Xena on the bed.  Karin spoke gently to her son.  "Aric.  Go see to your sister."

The boy gave his mother an unhappy look.  Karin reached out and placed her hand on his arm.  "Please, son."

"Can I bring her here?" 

"Yes.  But wait outside."

He nodded.  "Here."  He gave his mother the bundle of supplies.

"Thank you."

Aric stepped away, out of the cabin.

"What do we do, I've never worked with this kind of wound?"  Gabrielle's eyes rested on Xena's quiescent form.

"Vinegar.  We need to rinse the small strands of tentacles still on her body with vinegar and then remove them without touching them.  We'll rinse the wounds a second time and cover them with a light bandage.  We'll need cold compresses to numb the pain."

"She's chilled."  Gabrielle looked to Karin for verification.  "Shock?"

Karin began to work.  "I think so.  Some jellyfish have strong venom.  It could kill her.  One way or another she's going to need time to heal."

"Xena heals quickly."  Gabrielle's murmured, seeking comfort in the well-proven fact.  Gabrielle watched as Karin removed the few small bits of tentacles off Xena's body with a cloth.  The skin around her injury had taken a dusty, bluish-purple look.  It was an ugly sight, a rainbow of haunting colors.

"That's the easy part."  Karin put the vinegar and cloth aside.

Gabrielle unfolded two blankets from a storage chest and draped them over Xena's lower body.

"It may be sometime before she comes to."

"I'm not going anywhere."  Gabrielle stood at the foot of the bed.  "What should I expect?"

"You'll need to clean her wounds at least three times a day.  Use cold for the pain.  Keep the rest of her warm so she doesn't fall back into shock.  The poison in her system may make her confused and restless.  She may also have problems keeping food down.  Give her plenty of water.  I'll be back with some soup and bread for both of you."

"Anything else?"

"Gabrielle.  The worst kind of reaction might cause her mouth, tongue and throat to swell.  If that happens she will suffocate."  Gabrielle paled.  Karin tried to reassure.  "I don't think that will happen.  Usually it’s the first thing.  I got a feeling Xena was out in the sand a good part of the morning.  I just want you to know."

"I'm not new to healing.  You've treated this type of wound before.  How would you measure Xena's?"

"Living by the sea there are some things you learn.  One of them is that each wound is different.  I don't know what more to tell you."

"Karin. I need Xena's healer's kit.  It should be with her things."

"What's in it?"

"Herbs Xena uses.  I want to make sure we keep her fever under control."

"I'll send Aric over with it.  Is there anything else you need?"

"No, thank you."

It was late evening and Xena had yet to waken.  Karin had come by with the promised soup.  She found Gabrielle sitting in a chair beside the bed.  The fear in the bard's eyes was an unsettling contrast to her exterior calm.  Karin directed Gabrielle to take a walk and get some fresh air.  After a volley of protests, Gabrielle relented.

The bard stood by the cliff path.  Her eyes peered out to the darkness over the sea.  She always had respect for the sea.  It easily conquered her physical well-being when she sailed.  She was more comfortable swimming inland lakes.  She knew them to be far less dangerous.  Karin told her that a jellyfish is not apt to attack a human.  Still, she could not fathom how Xena's instincts had failed her.  The warrior had the uncanny ability to sense danger's approach.  Xena's wound gave all indication that the jellyfish had been large.  Yet, it seemed that she had been taken unaware.  Reason again to be wary of the sea.  Even at its calmest, death was only a not-so-innocuous touch away.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Karin's call.  Gabrielle ran to the cabin.  She was faced with Karin straining to hold a disorientated Xena down flat to the bed. 

"By the Gods, Gabrielle, this woman is strong!"

Gabrielle went to the opposite side of the bed.  She kneeled on the bed beside the warrior.  She placed one hand across Xena's far shoulder and another on the warrior's brow.  Her voice a salve. "Hey.  Come on Xena.  You need to relax."

"Gabrielle?"  The movement caused Xena pain.

"I'm here, love.  You have to lie down."

Karin was surprised by the endearment.  Xena began to calm.  Her muscles relaxed.  Gabrielle nodded her approval. 

"That's my girl."

"Don't go."  A delirious request.

The bard stroked Xena's brow with her thumb and fingers, soothing the tension under their touch.  "Easy."

Karin observed.  "You do have an effect on her."

Gabrielle and Karin exchanged a knowing glance.  Xena's moan called Gabrielle back to her beloved.

"You'll need to keep her still."

"I know what to do."  Gabrielle was resolute.

"Would you like me to stay?"

"No. We'll be all right." Gabrielle turned to Karin. 

Karin rose to her feet confident that Gabrielle could manage alone.  "Yes.  I'm starting to believe you will."  Karin smiled with renewed optimism.  The distance between Gabrielle and Xena had collapsed; realizing the promise the widow had suspected had been waiting patiently to be given breath.  "I'll be by in the morning.  Try to get her to eat something if you can."

"I will.  There is still plenty of soup."

"I noticed."  Karin felt comfortable enough to voice maternal concern.  "Gabrielle, you need to keep up your strength if you're going to care for her."

"I'll eat."  .

"I'm holding you to your word.  Good night."

"Good night."

Gabrielle waited to hear the cabin door close before shifting her body to its full length to rest beside Xena.  She couldn't take her usual hold of the warrior because of the wounds.  Instead, she placed her hand on Xena's bicep and rested her head beside Xena's, continuing to stroke Xena's brow to comfort.  The warrior drifted back to sleep.

Xena felt her self easing out of a deep darkness.  She didn't know where she was or where she was going.  Ahead of her she felt a warm sensation.  It pulled her forward.  For reasons beyond understanding she trusted that moving on, leaving the darkness behind, was the right thing to do.  She opened her eyes to the light of a lone candle.  She tried to focus; looking about she had difficulty identifying the space.  A dull pounding in her head made movement painful.  She felt a warm breath tickle her neck and turned to confirm its source.  She knew deep in her heart it could only be Gabrielle.  And so it was that she found the bard sleeping at her side.  She was in the sea cabin and she was obviously hurt. 

Xena closed her eyes trying to remember the cause.  An attempt to move her arm over to Gabrielle resulted in an overwhelming wave of fire across her belly.  The memory of the man-of-war's tentacles sweeping across her body came to her mind's eye.  She remembered the effort to swim to shore and to climb the cliff trail.  There her memory ended.  She had been found and cared for.  She picked up the tart scent of vinegar.  Xena sighed, knowing that what little could be done for her had been done.  She smirked.  If she had known that the injury would grant her Gabrielle's touch she would have deliberately swam out into the ocean seeking harm.

From the open window Xena could tell that night had fallen.  The ocean's song lulled her to return to sleep.  She surrendered to it with a renewed hope that morning would bring her a far better day.  She gave the bard a gentle kiss on the forehead.  "I love you."

Karin sat on the chair beside the warrior.  "Her fever is down.  That's good.  What did you give her?"

"A combination of herbs.  I can show you later."

"You do know the arts."

"A little.  What Xena has taught me through the years."

"She is skillful."

"Yes."  Gabrielle smiled.  "She has many skills."

"Has she wakened?"

"No.  She slept through the night."

"You do have a calming influence on her.   Has that always been true?"

"Yes.  I guess I've always been able to reach her when others haven't."

"Gabrielle.  I know I shouldn't ask, but what happened that made you leave her?"

Gabrielle tried to gather her thoughts.  "What makes you think I left Xena?"

Karin was now the one to pause.  "But… because she came for you."

Gabrielle said nothing.

"I'm sorry, Gabrielle.  It's just that from the day Xena arrived here all she has wanted is to…   I don't know what I'm talking about."

"Xena did something to save my life that was hard on me.  I didn't know why at the time."

"She must have great faith in you… to believe that you would understand."

The press against Gabrielle's heart multiplied ten-fold.  She felt a resurgence of a private accusation, one that held an intolerable culpa.

Karin watched as, once again, a familiar mask fell across Gabrielle's face.  The bard had shut down and Karin was puzzled by what had caused the change.  She replayed their conversation in her mind without any new insight. 

Gabrielle sat on the windowsill.  She turned her gaze to the horizon.  As much as she wanted to isolate herself, she knew she had to stay.  Her duty to Xena required no less of her.

A candlemark had passed.  Xena began to stir.  She felt the cool cloth against her brow.  She could sense Gabrielle nearby; however, it was not Gabrielle's hand that cared for her.  She took inventory of her body.  The fire remained, her fever subsided and she was thirsty.  The warrior opened her eyes, taking in Karin's concerned expression.  Her caretaker smiled.  "Good morning."

Xena's voice carried a low, gravel tone.  "Where's?"  She glanced across the room searching until she found the woman she sought.  Their eyes met.  Gabrielle looked away.  She had a painful, still quality about her.  She had changed.  Something was once again terribly wrong.

Karin broke the silence.  "Aric found you mid-day yesterday.  You need to keep still.  Your belly has a great many lesions that need time to heal."

"Water," Xena requested, keeping her gaze upon the bard, a plea for Gabrielle to come to her.

"Yes, of course."  Karin offered Xena a water skin.  "We need to get some food into you.  I've got some vegetable soup.  Do you think you might manage?"

Xena closed her eyes gauging her ability to keep down any nourishment.  She reopened her eyes.  "Soup is good."

"All right then."  Karin stood up and went to the fire.

Gabrielle could feel Xena's scrutiny.  She could not bear it.  She spoke to Karin.  "I've got work to do.  You've got everything under control."  She swung her feet to the outside of the sill and quickly walked away. 

Karin watched the bard abandon the cabin.  She focused on warming the soup in an attempt to control her disappointment and rising anger.

For Xena, having Gabrielle leave was more difficult to withstand than the searing burns upon her flesh.  Karin returned with a bowl of soup.

"Karin?"

"Yes."

Xena spoke with difficulty.  "I know the poison can make me hallucinate.  Last night…maybe I was dreaming, but I swear I woke up and…"

Karin wondered if a lie would be more charitable, less heartbreaking.  "You didn't imagine…I found Gabrielle sleeping beside you this morning.  She was able to keep you calm and get you to drink herbs for your fever.  She dressed your wounds and refused to leave your side."

"But..."

"I don't know.  I wish I could give you an explanation."

End of Part 2

Continued - Part 3

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