I Found My Heart In San Francisco

Book 14

Nurture

By SX Meagher

Part Seven

By seven o’clock on Saturday evening, Mia was nearing Jordan’s neighborhood. The two had spoken four times so far, with Jordan calling twice to check on her progress, and Mia calling just because she was too excited not to. Once again, she dialed her lover’s cell phone, smiling when Jordan answered on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, sweetie. I’m close to that shopping center you told me about, so I should be there soon. My next challenge is to figure out how to get around your apartment complex. Why couldn’t you guys live on a nice, normal street?"

"’Cause it’s cheaper to live in an ugly, industrial-looking, poorly-built dump that looks like a motel."

"Good point. But it’s not easy for your guests."

Jordan laughed. "We don’t get many. But don’t worry, I’ll run down to the main entrance and meet you. Besides, I can’t stand still for ten more minutes."

"You don’t mind?"

"Mia." Jordan's voice was soft and soothing, and Mia felt it wrap around her like a gentle hug. "I would have come to Berkeley to drive with you if I could have gotten out of practice. I’m so excited about seeing you that my roommates have been threatening to nail my shoes to the floor. I’m wearing a path in our cheap carpet."

Mia laughed, fully able to appreciate how hard it was for her lover to sit still when she was anxious. "Okay. I’m getting off the highway now. I should be there in about ten minutes."

"That’s what it’ll take me to run to the gate. See you soon."

"Bye," Mia said, but Jordan had already hung up.

Mia pulled up to the main entrance of the Castle Pines Apartment Complex and smiled when she saw Jordan sprinting down the macadam. In the second it took her to slow down, three cars pulled up behind her, and two of them were honking their horns. She pulled over to the side of the road and started throwing everything from the passenger seat into the back, clearing the seat for Jordan.

The blonde started to head for Mia's side, but she thought better of the idea when cars started whipping around the vehicle. She made a slight correction and skidded to a stop, spraying gravel into the air. Jordan grasped the door handle and slid into the seat in one smooth move. Smiling brightly, she reached for Mia, but the car started to move when Mia turned to meet her embrace. "Brake!" she called out, laughing at Mia's short but colorful explosion of profanity. "Kiss me, you crazy woman."

Mia nearly melted into her arms, feeling the stress and strain of two full days of driving disappear when her lover cuddled her into an embrace. Their lips met, then pressed tenderly against each other’s. The kiss lasted for a long time, the soft sounds of lips touching and touching and touching filling the small car. Mia let her head drop back onto Jordan’s arm, and she gave her a lazy smile. "Has it really only been six days?"

"Seems like a thousand." Jordan dove back in for another lengthy kiss. They stayed right where they were for almost ten minutes, neither woman wanting to let the other go long enough to drive to the apartment. "My room is more comfortable than your car," Jordan eventually murmured.

Mia pulled away and pushed the curls from her eyes. She took a breath and asked, "Do you have anything to eat? I’m starving."

"Mmm … not really. I ate at the training center. But there’s a lot of stuff around here. Let’s go get something right now, so we don’t have to leave again."

"Ha! Like I’ll let you leave once I get you inside," Mia said, laughing.

"Then let’s get you some dinner, ’cause you’re not getting away from me, either."

* * * * * * * *

They went to a nearby restaurant and settled into a booth. The place wasn’t fancy, but it had a wide selection, and Mia quickly found a salad with grilled chicken that sounded perfect.

Jordan didn’t order anything, which earned her a scowl from the server, but she didn’t seem to notice. The look on her face showed such perfect contentment that Mia guessed not many things could upset her lover at that moment.

Mia studied Jordan’s face. "Are you losing more weight, honey? You look even thinner than you did last week."

Jordan looked down at herself. "Yeah, I lost about a half pound this week. It’s not by choice, though."

"Jordy, order some food if you’re hungry!"

"No, no, I’m not hungry. I’m fine, really. I’m getting lean, which is good for me."

"You were lean before," Mia said. "You’re starting to get skinny."

"Maybe you won’t think that when you see me naked," Jordan said, batting her eyes.

"Change the subject or we’re bolting," Mia said, not kidding a bit.

While they waited, Mia gave her lover a run-down of the day’s activities, which consisted mostly of driving and stopping for gas. The salad was delivered, and Mia concentrated on her food for a minute. When she looked up, Jordan was gazing at her, a surprisingly serious expression on her face. "What?" the brunette asked.

Jordan’s expression gentled. "I was just thinking of how big a deal this all is. It’s still hard for me to believe you’ve chucked everything to be here with me."

The fork was halfway to Mia’s mouth, but she cocked her head and asked, "Wouldn’t you do the same for me if the situation were reversed?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I would," Jordan said. "I guess I’m still having a hard time getting used to the idea that I’m important enough to you to have you do this."

Mia put the bite into her mouth and gave Jordan a scolding look. She chewed for a moment, then said, "You’re the last person in the world who should be insecure. I still have a hard time believing that you picked me when you could have had any lesbian in the country."

"Yeah." Jordan gave her partner a good-natured grin. "That’s absolutely true. I hear from every lesbian in the country—all the time, as a matter of fact—but I keep turning ’em down. It’s costing me a fortune in postage."

"That’s not what I mean, and you know it," Mia said. "All I meant was that you don’t seem to have any idea of how desirable you are, and that amazes me. A woman who looks like you and is as smart and thoughtful and talented as you are should have a huge swollen head."

"That would kinda ruin the looks part of the package," Jordan teased.

"Fine." Mia took another bite. "You don’t have to accept the truth. But you don’t have one thing in the world to be insecure about. You’re a fantastic woman, Jordan, and no one knows that more than I do."

Jordan reached across the table and took Mia’s hand. "No one but you matters," she said, fixing Mia with her pale blue eyes.

"When you say that, I believe it."

Jordan matched Mia’s smile. "You’d better, ’cause it’s all true. Now finish that salad so we can go home."

"I like the sound of that," Mia said. "Home."

* * * * * * * *

They arrived at Jordan’s unit after a drive through a maze of identical apartments. Mia was sure she wasn’t going to venture out without Jordan until she'd learned her way around, and she feared that would take months. They each took a suitcase and climbed up the exterior staircase to reach the second floor.

"How did you avoid breaking your neck when these concrete steps were icy?" Mia panted, her aerobic capacity nowhere near that of her companion.

"It wasn’t easy. Good thing I don’t drink much, huh?"

"Well, I do," Mia said, wheezing through a laugh.

They reached the apartment, and Jordan used her key to enter. "You need to lock the door, even if you’re only going out for a minute. There’ve been a couple of rapes in this part of town, and the police think the rapist might live in the neighborhood."

"Nice," Mia said. "Any ax murderers?"

"Not that I know of. I don’t think most murderers use axes any more. Too cumbersome."

They went inside, and Mia was pleased to see that the living room was empty of people, but dismayed that it was also nearly devoid of furniture. "Minimalist. Nice."

"Cheap," Jordan said. "We hardly ever use this room." She lowered her voice and said, "We’re with each other all day. At night we want to be alone."

Mia noted that there wasn’t a television or a stereo in the room, and the single overstuffed chair didn’t hold much appeal. There was a collection of brightly-colored floor pillows that looked like they might be comfortable, but since there wasn’t a television, Mia guessed she'd have to use them to stare at the ceiling. "Maybe I should’ve brought some of your furniture from the garage."

"Nah. You’ll be here alone during the day, so all you’ll need is the chair. At night, we’ll be in my room. This is enough."

Mia nodded, an unspoken "We’ll see" held back.

A door in the hallway opened, and one of Jordan’s roommates emerged. Mia recognized her as the woman who’d expressed an interest in Jordan during the tournament in Florida. "Hi," the tall, dark brunette said. "You must be Mia."

Mia smiled and extended her hand. "Yeah, I am."

While they shook, Jordan said, "Mia, this is Jill Hennings. This is her second Olympics, so she’s an old hand."

She'd better keep her old hands off my Jordy, Mia thought, trying not to let her antipathy show. "It’s good to meet you," she said. "I hope having me here isn’t going to be a problem."

"No, no problem," Jill said. "This isn’t much of a home, anyway. It’s just a place to sleep."

Mia felt a twinge of discomfort, realizing that it was going to be her home, even if the other women didn’t think of it as theirs. "You don't eat together?"

"No," Jill said. "None of us can cook, and we can eat for free at the training center." She paused for a second and made a face. "Ooo … you won’t be able to do that."

"Don’t worry, honey," Jordan said. "I’ll come home as soon as I can. We’ll have dinner together."

Mia smiled at her partner, knowing that Jordan would do anything in her power to make her feel comfortable in this new situation. "I’m not worried. I know it’ll all work out."

"It’s good to have you here, Mia. If you need any info about the city or anything, I’m your woman. I’ve lived here, on and off, for six years."

"Wow … that’s a long time," Mia said, feeling unsettled at the thought of living with a bunch of roommates for six days, much less six years.

"Yeah, it is," Jill said. "But Colorado Springs is a nice place, and it’d be hard for me to train at home. Sometimes I wish I’d chosen an individual sport—but I love volleyball, so it’s worth the sacrifice."

"It’s worth it to me, too," Jordan agreed, giving Mia a worried look. "I just hope you get used to it here. You don’t get the benefit of playing a sport you love."

"No," Mia said, "but I get the benefit of being with the woman I love. That makes everything all right."

Jordan smiled at her for several seconds, her gaze unwavering. Clearly having had enough of the doe-eyes, Jill went back into her room. Jordan didn’t react to the other woman’s leaving. She looked into Mia’s eyes and blinked away the emotion that was building. "I’m not sure how I’ll do it, but I’ll do anything in my power to make sure you never regret coming here." When she held out her hand, Mia took it and pulled her close.

Automatically, Jordan's hands rested on Mia’s shoulders, and the smaller woman’s hands palmed the blonde's hips—this stance now a thing of habit. They stared at each other for another few moments, their eyes saying more than either felt capable of verbalizing at that moment.

Jordan tilted her head and started to lean in. As she did, each woman encircled the other’s body with her arms, then their lips met. Gently, tenderly, almost shyly, they kissed, the sweetness of the moment almost too much to bear.

It reminded Mia of their first nights together, when Jordan was so painfully shy and afraid. But this time it wasn’t Jordan who was afraid, it was she. Standing in the living room of an unadorned apartment in a city she’d never visited and having to contend with three new roommates suddenly felt a little overwhelming, and she needed the safety of Jordan’s arms to reassure her.

Jordan was right there with her, seeming to know that Mia was feeling a little shaky. "Let’s go to our room," she whispered. "You can meet the other guys in the morning."

Mia nodded, and they each grabbed a suitcase and headed down the hall. "Jill and Toni are in the first room," Jordan said, nodding at the door they’d passed. "It's Jill’s apartment, so she gets the room with the bathroom. Makela and Ekaterina are across the hall from Jill. We’re behind Makela and Ekaterina and across from the bathroom. We’re gonna have to come up with some kinda schedule, so no one’s late in the morning."

Before the door to the bedroom was fully open, Mia decided they needed to move. The room contained a full-sized bed and a television sitting on the floor—and it was overcrowded. The bed was pushed against two walls, and even with that, the door barely cleared it. "It’s not much, but it’s cozy, huh?" Jordan asked, obviously trying to put a good spin on it.

Mia put everything else out of her mind and focused on the one thing that was worth more than anything in her life. "If we’re together, anyplace is fine." She smiled warmly.

Jordan leaned over to give her another kiss. "I’m so lucky to have you." When she broke the kiss, she stayed in position for a moment, staring into Mia’s eyes, clearly unable to believe that her lover was with her. She finally straightened and recalled they still had work to do. "I’ll go get the rest of your stuff while you start to unpack. I, uhm … don’t have a dresser or anything, and this room doesn’t have a closet, but it has two windows." Her expression showed that was a big selling point. "I keep my stuff in those plastic bins I bought," she said, indicating the neatly labeled blue rectangles stacked against the wall. "We can go get some for you tomorrow, okay?"

"It’s fine, honey. Don’t worry about it. I’ll get my toothbrush out. That’s all I’ll need, right?" She gave her lover a sexy smile while fingering the buttons on her fly.

Jordan’s eyes widened in delighted agreement. "You might need a T-shirt to go to the bathroom, but other than that—you’re set. Be right back."

Mia watched her lover leave, then she walked to the closer of the two windows and looked out, seeing nothing but two-story, flat-roofed, dun-colored buildings. It’s gonna be hard for a while, but someday we’ll have our own home and a couple of kids, and this’ll be the apartment we’ll tell stories about. It’ll be funny—then.

* * * * * * * *

After a thorough tooth brushing and flossing, Mia scampered back to their room, glad that the other roommates hadn’t seen her in her underwear. She wasn’t shy by any means, but she liked to meet new people while she was fully clothed. Her moment of discomfort vanished when she saw her lover lying in bed, her long legs tenting the sheet and blanket. Jordan was wearing a dark turtleneck sweater, her golden hair shimmering in the light of a large candle resting on more plastic storage boxes, this set serving as a bedside table.

"Going somewhere?" Mia asked. She stripped off her shirt and panties and jumped into bed, shivering from the cold.

"Nope. I’m just trying to stay warm. I usually wear sweatpants, too, but I’m gonna let you keep me warm down there."

"Not a problem." Mia snuggled close and buried her face between her lover’s breasts. "My nose is cold," she mumbled. "It’s gonna take a minute for me to warm up."

Jordan stroked her back. "It’s gonna take longer than that, honey. Having two windows isn’t always the perk you’d think it’d be. They’re single pane, and I swear I can feel the wind whistle through the part where they meet."

Mia looked up at the cheap, metal windows, seeing frost covering the bottom half of each. "It’s gonna take some time to get used to the weather. I’ve been skiing a lot, but I’ve never lived anywhere cold."

"I thought I knew what cold weather was, but I didn’t," Jordan said. "It gets kinda mind-numbing after a while. Hard to believe my ancestors came from Sweden, ’cause I don’t have the cold weather gene."

"Sleeping together will make everything better," Mia said, curling her body around her lover even tighter. "Being with you always does."

Jordan tilted her head; she seemed fully content to merely gaze into Mia’s dark brown eyes. Her lips parted, then closed, and she blinked repeatedly. Mia saw that her eyes were dewy, and knew that Jordan was having a hard time putting her feelings into words. But with Jordan, she didn’t need to hear words. She could almost feel the emotion that coursed through her lover’s body, and she knew how much it meant to Jordan for them to finally be together.

Mia tightened her grip and held Jordan so closely that she forced some of the air from her lungs. She ran her hands all over her back, probing the thin layer of flesh that covered her lover’s lean body. After a long while, Mia’s hands were finally warm, and she slipped a hand under Jordan’s sweater, just enough of a chill left on her skin to make the blonde flinch. "Mmm … I love to watch you twitch," Mia whispered. She heard someone walking down the hall, then heard voices coming from the next room.

"Hi," one voice said. "Where’ve you been?"

A voice with a heavy eastern European accent said, "To the movies."

"What did you see? Anything good?"

Mia sat up and stared at her lover, whispering, "What are the walls made of—tissue paper?"

Looking embarrassed and abashed, Jordan said, "I usually have my TV on for background noise. I mean … I knew I could hear ’em, but I guess I didn’t really …" She shrugged helplessly. "I sleep really soundly because I’m so tired, and they usually go to sleep pretty early, so it hasn’t been a problem. I can … I can …"

Mia pressed a finger to her lips. "It’s okay," she soothed, angry with herself for showing her alarm. "We’ll just put on some quiet music."

"I don’t have …" Jordan looked around the tiny room, apparently looking for a stereo system that didn’t exist. "I use my MP3 player."

"We’ll get one," Mia said. "I can bring mine from Berkeley or buy a radio."

Jordan looked crestfallen. "I didn’t think ahead. I should have figured out how hard this would be."

"Don’t worry about it." Mia rubbed her partner gently, her cold hand causing a riot of goosebumps. "We’re together. That’s what matters. That’s all that matters, right?"

With her head tilted down, Jordan looked at Mia through her fair lashes. Her eyes were hooded, and she looked like she expected to be scolded. "Yeah, I guess."

Mia grasped her chin with her fingers. "It’s all that matters. To me at least. Isn’t being together enough for you?"

"Yes, yes! Of course it is! I’m just so sorry that this place sucks so badly. You’re used to your great house. And lots of privacy and your own bathroom and nice furniture."

"None of that matters," Mia said. "Being with you is all that’s important to me. If you don’t believe that, we’re gonna have problems."

"We are?"

"Yes. This won’t work if you’re walking around apologizing all of the time. I want you to understand that I want to be here. I need to be here. Not to be in Colorado Springs and not to be in a nice apartment. I need to be here because of you. Only you. And if you’re here—I’m happy."

Jordan’s face relaxed and she smiled—a hopeful, albeit tentative, smile. "I’m happy with you, too. Very, very happy."

Mia gave her a pinch, then jumped out of bed and ran to her suitcase. "I’m happy, but I’m freezing!" She rummaged through her bag and found a baby blue fleece hoodie and a matching pair of pants. She jumped into the clothes, nearly shrieking when the ice-cold zipper hit her bare chest. She added some thick socks and ran back to bed, letting Jordan rub her body to warm her up again. "Why do you only have one blanket?" she asked through chattering teeth.

"Well, I only own one, and I haven’t wanted to buy another."

"Why? It must be sixty degrees in here."

"I know, but if I’m really warm, it’ll be that much harder to get up in the morning. Now there isn’t much difference between being in bed and getting up."

Mia kissed her partner, their cold lips meeting long enough to begin to warm. "You are one nutty girl."

Jordan laughed. "You get up at 5:30 and tell me how easy it is."

"Thank God tomorrow’s Sunday."

"Uhm … I have to train in the morning. Sunday’s my light weight-training day." Her words came out in a rush. "But I’ll be finished early, and we’ll have the rest of the day together."

Mia looked at her watch. "What time do you have to get up?"

"Uhm … 5:30 … every day. The coach likes us to stay on a regular schedule. We stay on it in the States, even when we travel. So when we’re on the east coast, we get up at 7:30. Of course that means 4:30 on the west coast, which kinda sucks."

Mia gave her a smile that took more than a little effort to fabricate. "I’ll get up with you so we’re on the same schedule."

"Oh, not tomorrow. You sleep late. I know you’re tired after that long drive. Besides, there’s nothing for you to do at that time of the morning. I couldn’t stay awake if I wasn’t lifting weights."

"Can I go with you?"

Jordan shook her head. "No, I don’t think so. There’s a strict rule against having anyone watch us. The coaches are always worried about someone stealing our training program."

"Yeah, that’s what I’m all about," Mia said. "All I want to do is watch."

"I’ll ask," Jordan said, "but I wouldn’t get my hopes up."

Mia hugged her hard. "Get your hopes up for what we’re gonna do when you get home tomorrow afternoon." She pinched Jordan’s firm ass, then filled her hand with the flesh.

"Not now?" the blonde asked, looking disappointed.

"It’s ten o’clock," Mia said, amazed by her own words. "Time for you to sleep."

Jordan grinned at her. "I hate to agree, but this is late for me. I’m usually in bed by 9:00 and asleep by 9:30."

"9:30 it is," Mia said, forcing a smile. She kissed her lover, spending a few minutes luxuriating in her embrace. All too soon she pulled away and kissed Jordan’s forehead, then turned on her side and squirmed around until her butt was firmly pressed against Jordan’s abdomen. Long, thin but muscular arms enfolded her, and for the first time in a long while, Mia felt safe and secure. Chilly on the outside, but warm as toast in her heart.

* * * * * * * *

After a full day at Disneyland, Jamie stayed in their room, putting the finishing touches on her article. When she was finished, she brought up her e-mail program and sent it to her father. Her stomach was in knots, but she knew that delaying wouldn’t make it any easier. She checked her watch, seeing that it was almost 11:00 p.m. in Washington. I hope he reads it and calls me right away. She considered calling him to let him know she’d sent it, but thought better of that. I’ve just got to wait it out.

Ryan and Jennie were having dinner with the team, and Jamie wasn’t sure where they’d gone, so she called room service and ordered a hamburger. She tried to watch TV, but she couldn’t focus on anything long enough to be distracted. She considered calling room service back and adding a drink to her order, but she’d promised herself she wasn’t going to use alcohol to get through emotionally tough periods. So she did her best to focus on a documentary on PBS, wishing with all of her might that her father would read the article and call her soon.

* * * * * * * *

A little after eleven o’clock, Ally Webster slid her key into the lock of an apartment in the marina district. "I’m at your home," she called out, smiling when she saw Sara sitting on the sofa watching a movie. Sara climbed over the back of the piece to get to her lover quicker, making Ally’s smile grow. "Somebody looks happy to see me."

Sara wrapped her arms around Ally’s waist and hugged her close. Few things made her happier than feeling her lover’s strong, sturdy frame press against her own body. "I missed you a lot. I wish we didn’t both have to work on Saturday."

"I wish I didn’t have so many clients on Saturday night," Ally said. "I’d move ‘em, but they’re all long-timers, and they travel a lot for business. Saturday is one day they’re always home."

"Don’t be silly," Sara said. She stood on her tiptoes and puckered up, waiting for Ally to dip her head and kiss her. As always, she was rewarded with a kiss that made waiting more than worthwhile. "You have to structure your schedule to make your clients happy. That’s just business. Besides, it’s nice to sleep late and go into the office in the afternoon. Everyone’s leaving just when I get there. I get a lot more done."

"You keep working hard so you strike it rich and start supporting me," Ally said.

She’d said things like this before, but Sara had always assumed she was kidding. She wasn’t so sure this time. She put her hand on Ally’s chest and looked into her eyes. "If you mean that, you can quit tomorrow. I’ll give this place up and move into your apartment. With just one place, we could easily live on my salary."

Ally grasped the tip of her nose and tugged on it. "I don’t think I’d be a very good wife. But I’d like to start thinking of getting a place big enough to live together."

"Really?"

Sara’s face bore such infectious enthusiasm that Ally’s smile reflexively grew wider. "Yeah, really."

Tightening her hold, Sara rubbed her cheek against Ally’s breast, nuzzling against her. "That would make me so happy."

"Then we’ll do it. Let’s check around and see if we can find a nice two-bedroom. Then you could have an office."

"Mmm … that’d be nice."

"But right now, I’d like to get in bed and kiss you for a while. Up for that?"

Sara took Ally by the hand and led her to the bedroom, not even stopping to turn off the television.

* * * * * * * *

They lay together in Sara’s bed, their limbs so entwined they looked like a puzzle. Ally wore a tank top and panties, Sara just a satin camisole. As they usually did, they spent a while talking about their days and kissing, seeing if their caresses led to sex or sleep.

Ally still wasn’t happy with her progress in therapy, but Sara was so relentlessly enthusiastic about their sex life that it was hard for Ally to complain.

Sara was tracing the pattern the lamplight made on Ally’s bare arm. "Talked to my mom today," she said.

"Yeah? Did that go okay?" Ally tried to get a read on Sara’s mood. Sometimes a conversation with her mother could upset her for a full day.

"It was fine. We didn’t talk about my dad, and that always makes things easier."

"What’s going on with her? Was she just checking in?"

"Uh-huh. I think so. She said she had tea with Ryan’s dad and aunt the other day. She’s happy about getting back into their good graces."

"Mmm." Ally had her own feelings about Mrs. Andrews and the way things had played out with Sara and Ryan’s relationship, but she thought she’d better keep them to herself.

"She got the impression that Ryan’s not doing very well."

Ally sat up a little. "In what way?"

"Emotionally. Maeve said that Ryan still isn’t herself since the carjacking. She says Jamie seems all right, but Ryan hasn’t bounced back the way they thought she would."

"I should call her," Ally said. Both women were a little tentative about discussing Ryan, but Ally thought it was time to try and get past the awkwardness.

"Yeah, you should," Sara said. "I think she feels more comfortable with you. Maybe I’ll call Jamie."

"I think Jamie feels more comfortable with you," Ally said, smiling.

"It’s hard to tell about Jamie. I like her. I mean, who wouldn’t like Jamie?"

Ally nodded, waiting for Sara to continue.

"But she’s not transparent like Ryan is. You can always tell what Ryan’s thinking, but Jamie … Jamie’s hard to read. She’s good at being polite and friendly, but I can’t tell if she really wants to be friends or if she’s just being nice because Ryan wants her to be."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I haven’t been around her much, but I never would have picked her for Ryan. She just doesn’t seem like her type."

Sara sat up. "I don’t think so, either! I didn’t know you felt that way!"

"I don’t think we’ve ever talked about it. Ryan’s been a loaded topic."

"Yeah. But she doesn’t have to be. She’s in my past, Ally. I swear."

Ally patted her side and moved closer to kiss her. "I know," she whispered when they parted. "I know you don’t think of me as second-best."

"Unh-uh." Sara’s eyes grew smoky with desire. "You’re my number one choice. And there’s no second place. It’s you, you and you."

Despite her awakening libido, Ally was intrigued and couldn’t let the issue drop. "Why do you think Jamie’s not the one for Ryan?"

"Ryan seems so much more jaded than she used to be," Sara said, obviously having given the matter some thought. "She’s not the sweet, innocent soul I knew. I mean, she’s still kinder than just about anyone on the planet, but she’s … she’s got more of a shell. She’s not as open. I think she might be that way because of Jamie. I remember the first time I met her," she said, not going into the details of having Jamie almost catch her kissing Ryan, "and I felt like Ryan was almost afraid of her reaction. That’s not the Ryan I knew."

"Huh." Ally was quiet for a minute. "That’s not my impression. I feel like Ryan’s putting on an act when she’s with Jamie. Like she’s trying to be more civilized."

"Civilized?"

"Yeah. The Ryan I knew was a wild thing. She liked riding her bike and having sex and wrestling and having punch fests. She was kinda like a pretty younger brother." She laughed, deciding not to tell Sara about the other side of Ryan—the soft, subservient side that loved to be topped.

Sara looked at her like she was mad. "Ryan was never like that!"

"Sure she was," Ally said. "We used to arm wrestle and leg wrestle and see who could hold out longer when we punched each other in the belly."

"Ryan?"

"Yes, Ryan. She dated everybody I knew, and I knew a lot of women. She liked fast women, fast cars and fast motorcycles. She never drank around me, but she had a reputation at the gym for being able to drink anybody under the table."

"Ryan. Ryan O’Flaherty?" Sara’s eyes were wide, and she was clearly having a hard time believing her partner.

"Tall, black hair, blue eyes. Gorgeous. Ryan O’Flaherty. The Rock."

"You called her The Rock?"

"Most people called her Rock or "O." Not many people called her Ryan."

Sara smiled. "I used to call her Siobhán."

"No one ever … ever called her that," Ally said, laughing.

Sara cuddled up against her lover and lay quietly for a few moments. "Are you sure we knew the same person?"

"Yeah. But we knew her at different times ... under different circumstances. I guess she has other personas, like most of us do."

"Do you have a different side?" Sara asked, looking deeply into Ally’s eyes.

"Sure, I do. I was different with Ryan than I am with you. I didn’t let her in very often. We were pretty topical with each other."

"When you weren’t punching each other," Sara said, unable to conceive of having a punch fest with Ally.

"We were competitive," Ally said. "We just hung out. It wasn’t very deep."

Sara untangled her legs and rolled partially on top of Ally, feeling her chest move up and down under her. "You’re deep with me."

"I love you. I trust you. I feel vulnerable with you."

Sara kissed her, then threaded her fingers through her soft hair. "I feel vulnerable with you, too. I love to have your body pressing mine into the bed, feeling all of those muscles." She ran her hands all over Ally’s body, letting her fingers slide under her tank top to trace the dips and curves of her flesh.

Ally flipped her lover onto her belly and started at her neck, kissing her tender skin with serious intent. It was clear that sex was going to win the battle tonight.

* * * * * *

Part Eight

Mia woke with a start on Sunday morning when Jordan’s shrill alarm rang at 5:30, but after a few gentle kisses and a nice back scratch she settled down again and went back to sleep. Hours later she woke, visited the bathroom, then wandered around the apartment, pleased by the lack of noise. Jordan and her roommates were obviously working out together, so she decided to enjoy a leisurely breakfast.

Her investigation of the kitchen cabinets revealed only protein powder, nutritional supplements, powdered sports drink and vitamins. Hmm … the food has to be around here somewhere … But further exploration didn’t reveal any food—just more performance enhancing drinks, potions and elixirs. My Jordy had better not be taking anything that hasn’t been tested. I don’t want her to turn into one of those women who starts looking like a guy.

She wasn’t in the mood to shower, so she put on her clothing from the day before and ran out to her car, shivering in the crisp twenty degree day. Jordan had assured her that the cold spell they were experiencing was very unusual for that time of year, but Mia wasn’t sure she believed her. Having spent her whole life in California, she thought fifty degrees was time to pull out the down comforter. In her mind, if you needed a coat—it was damned cold.

She was able to scrounge up a pack of Oreos, half of a Twix bar and a Diet Coke, although the Coke was half frozen. Running back towards the apartment, she stopped in her tracks when a man started to dart up the same staircase. Oh, fuck! I didn’t lock the door! She was angry with herself for being careless, but also a little angry with Jordan for making her fear what was probably an ordinary guy going to his apartment.

Since this was the first time she’d seen the place in daylight, she didn’t know how many apartments the staircase served. There were three more sets of stairs, and she guessed there were about twelve apartments on the second floor. She did the math as she walked closer to the staircase, figuring that the case served three apartments. She heard the man quietly open and close a door. Damn, I can’t tell if he used a key or not. It sure didn’t take him long to open his—or my—door. Maybe he was watching me and ran upstairs when he thought I wasn’t looking. She felt in the pockets of her coat and pants, hoping that her cell phone was there. What would you do? she asked herself once she determined it wasn’t. Call the police to report a man walking up the stairs? I’m sure they’d send a dozen squad cars for that.

She was freezing, not so much due to the temperature as to her lack of acclimation. Going from fifty to twenty degrees was a big drop, especially when the bracing wind chafing her bare hands was factored in. She tossed the Coke from hand to hand while she considered her options. Finally deciding that she was too afraid to go inside, she got into her car and turned it on, blowing the heater at full power until the cold air became blessedly warm.

Mia ate the cookies and the candy, nearly breaking a tooth on the frozen Twix bar. She desperately wanted coffee, but Jordan’s neighborhood didn’t seem like an espresso kind of place, and she didn’t have any idea where the latte and biscotti crowd gathered in Colorado Springs. She warmed the Coke up enough to drink it after managing to spray several ounces onto her windshield and dashboard due to its having been shaken during her earlier deliberations.

She never took her eyes off the apartment, but no one exited. She was reasonably sure that if the man she had seen was a rapist, he’d leave the apartment when she didn’t come back in. But she realized that was more wishful thinking than gospel, so she stayed in the car and waited for a good idea to strike her.

Feeling out-of-sorts and a little scared, she looked around the car in search of more food. She surprised herself by finding her cell phone, further pleased to see that it had nearly a full charge. Almost automatically, she called her mother, breathing a sigh of relief when she answered. "Hi, Mom," she said, tearing up at the mere sound of her voice.

"Mia! Where are you?" Anna Lisa’s tone was harsh and angry, but when she heard her daughter suck in a breath and begin to sob, she immediately grew concerned. "Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No," Mia said, her voice shaking. "I’m just sad."

"Oh, honey, I’m sad, too." Then Anna Lisa started to cry, her cries sounding so much like her child’s that no one would have been able to tell them apart. "Please come home so we can talk about this."

"I can’t, Mom," she said, struggling to speak. "I’m in Colorado."

"What?" Now the tears stopped and the sharp tone was even sharper than before. "You’re where?"

"I did what I said I was going to do," Mia said, her own tears evaporating. "Why should I stay in Berkeley and work for minimum wage to stay in school? It was hard enough being there without Jordan when all I had to think about was school. I wasn’t going to have to work every spare minute just to be miserable."

"So you quit school just because you didn’t have money to spend on luxuries? Very mature, Mia. Very mature. I can see what you meant when you told us how much you’d grown."

The young woman took a deep breath, then reminded herself that she had grown up. "I didn’t call to be yelled at, Mom. I know you’re worried about me, and I wanted to let you know where I am. I’m going to be living with Jordan and her roommates until we can afford an apartment."

"And just how do you think—"

"I’m not asking for advice. I’m just telling you where I am and what I’m doing. If you want to talk after you’ve calmed down, you can call me on my cell phone. But I’m not going to let you yell at me. I’m just not." She pursed her lips to steel her courage, then hung up.

Mia leaned back against the headrest, feeling deeply sad and a little lost. Nothing around her was familiar, and she didn’t know a soul except for Jordan. Even though she’d been the one to leave, she felt abandoned by everyone and everything she’d grown used to in Berkeley.

It took a while to regain her composure, but she finally shoved the various junk food wrappers in her coat and got out of the car. Marching up the stairs, she opened the door to her apartment and called out in a loud voice, "I saw you go into the apartment, asshole. I called the cops, but they’re taking for-fucking-ever to get here, and I’m freezing my ass off. So I’m gonna walk back downstairs and give you a chance to escape. If you don’t wanna spend the next few years in …" She searched her mind and realized she had no idea where the worst prison in Colorado was. "The slammer, you’d better run." She ran back down the stairs and hid behind a truck, watching the staircase like a hawk. No one emerged, and after a few minutes, she decided that the man had been going to his own apartment. Nonetheless, she dialed 911, waiting to hit "send" until she got inside. Feeling like the victim in a slasher movie, she left the door wide open, then methodically went from room to room, looking inside the closets like a cat waiting to be attacked. She also checked under every bed, reassured that most of them weren’t high enough off the floor for a human to fit underneath.

Finally satisfied that she was alone, she locked the door and stripped off her clothes on the way to the shower, immediately learning that it was unwise to strip during the winter without fresh clothes nearby. When she emerged from the shower, she heard her phone ringing and dashed to answer it, feeling her heart drop to her stomach when she saw her parents’ number. "Hi, Mom," she said.

"You can’t hang up on me whenever you want," Anna Lisa said, sounding just past irate. "You have to show me some respect."

"I do respect you. That’s why I called you. But you have to respect me, too. I won’t let you yell at my anymore. Period."

"Don’t you dare tell me what—"

Once again, Mia hung up. She got into bed and hugged both pillows to her chest, burying her face into the down while she cried herself to sleep.

* * * * * * * *

Jordan opened the door to her bedroom to find her partner sitting up in bed, dressed in a sweatshirt, her computer propped up on her legs. Mia turned and their eyes met, and both women began to smile. Without saying a word, Jordan started to strip off her clothing and was stark naked in a matter of moments. Mia’s smile grew as the long, lean blonde slid into bed with her.

The computer was lifted and removed, then Jordan’s arms were around her. Suddenly, the world seemed safe and secure and full of promise. Mia took off her shirt, her body feeling the chill immediately. But when Jordan’s skin touched hers, the cold was forgotten.

Few things felt better than having Jordan’s body pressed up against hers, and Mia spent a moment trying to get as close as possible. Her head was nestled between Jordan’s neck and shoulder, and blonde hair covered her face. The hair smelled so good, so fresh and clean that she had no desire to move it.

Their breasts compressed against each other, bellies lightly touching, Jordan’s heat warming Mia’s body and heart. She slid her leg up over the larger woman’s hip, trying to have every part of their bodies touch.

Jordan’s hands danced up and down Mia’s back and settled on her shapely ass. She filled her hands with the chilly flesh, warming it as she stroked.

Mia purred contentedly while nuzzling her face against her lover’s neck. She lifted her head and shook it, letting Jordan’s hair fall back to the pillow. Looking into the guileless blue eyes, she softly said, "I love you."

Giving her a half-smile, Jordan’s lips opened, drawing Mia to them. They kissed. Gently, with an almost leisurely feel to their interactions. Between the kisses, Jordan lifted her head and spent a moment gazing into Mia’s eyes, looking into their depths, their inner fire.

Mia didn’t try to hurry her, content to lie still and let Jordan lead the way. Sometimes, Mia needed to have her world rocked, and they would nearly attack each other, their lovemaking filled with wild abandon. As pleasurable and as satisfying as that always was, that wasn’t what fed Jordan’s primal need. What she needed was connection—touching and being touched slowly, methodically—letting the heat build up between them at a very deliberate rate. She often spend an hour or two studying Mia’s body, kissing every part of it, unconcerned with trying to sexually excite her. It was more akin to worship than sex, but it seemed to fill her up in a way that nothing else did.

Mia was more orgasm-centered than Jordan was, but in their time together, she’d learned to pace herself. Usually, Jordan made it clear from the beginning that she was going to take her on a slow, sensual ride. So Mia stretched her arms out over her head and closed her eyes, silently telling Jordan that she understood and had happily acquiesced to her wishes.

Mia tried to clear her mind and let Jordan take her where she wanted. She knew they’d be touching each other for hours, and that once Jordan set this pace, there’d be no hurrying her. So she tried to tamp down her thrumming desire and open herself to the delightful sensation of being totally and thoroughly loved by the woman to whom she’d pledged her entire future.

* * * * * * * *

The softball team arrived back in Berkeley late on Sunday night. Ryan was tired, finding it much more draining sitting in a dugout watching rain fall than to actually play the game. Jamie had stayed at the hotel, working on a paper for her economics class, and she’d finished it long before the team arrived after their third rainout in a row.

Everyone but Jennie was a little down on the flight home. They all loved the team, but spending the weekend in a motel wasn’t much fun for anyone but a high-school freshman with a serious case of hero worship.

When they dropped her off at the group home, Jennie was as happy as Ryan had ever seen her. She thanked Jamie so enthusiastically for taking her that both Ryan and Jamie laughed about it on the way home.

"Sometimes I feel so old and jaded around her," Jamie said.

"You’re seven years older. That’s a long time during those particular years."

"Yeah, but I feel so parental with her. And she treats us more like parents than peers."

"We’re not her peers. And I’ve always tried to maintain an adult/parental role with her. The last thing I wanted was for her to get a crush on me."

"Yeah," Jamie said, smiling to herself. "That worked out well."

They arrived at their house a few minutes later. It was strange not to have the answering machine filled with messages for Mia, and Ryan started poking around the house in an aimless fashion, as she often did when she was a little melancholy.

Jamie’s anxiety had started to build as soon as the plane landed. Her opinion piece was scheduled to run in the morning paper, and she still hadn’t heard from her father. She had debated whether to call him, but had finally decided against it. Even without knowing his feelings about the article, she felt thoroughly torn about her decision to do it. In her heart, she knew it was the right thing to do, but that didn’t make it any easier to face the consequences. And she knew there would be consequences—with her father and with her personal life.

Ryan passed through the parlor and saw Jamie sitting on the sofa, staring into space. She sat down next to her and asked, "Wanna take a long bath and try to relax?"

"Mmm … a bath does sound pretty good. What are you gonna do?"

"I’ve got a big day tomorrow. I’d better turn in."

"Why don’t you hop into bed, and I’ll come cuddle you when I’m finished."

They got up together and Ryan leaned in to kiss her. "No running off to another bed, okay?"

"I promise," Jamie said, smiling. A little embarrassed, she hadn’t told Ryan the whole truth of why she’d fallen asleep in the second bed at the hotel. "If I wanna watch TV, I’ll put headphones on and watch from our bed."

"Our bed," Ryan said, a goofy smile on her face. "Such a simple, but wonderful image."

Jamie patted her butt. "Go dive in, tiger. I’ll be in to join you as soon as I feel able to sleep."

"I’ll rub your back."

Jamie appreciated the offer, but knew it was for a limited time. Once Ryan was sound asleep, she’d have to shake her to wake her, and she hated to do that. "If I need it."

They kissed, holding each other just long enough to make Ryan sigh heavily and tilt her head to deepen the kiss.

"Mmm … maybe you wanna relax another way," Jamie said.

"I do." Ryan smiled wryly and kissed her again. "But I’m too tired. How old am I?"

Jamie rubbed her back. "You’re younger than springtime. And your energy level is stupendous. You just had a long weekend."

Ryan leaned heavily on her, making Jamie struggle to keep her feet. "I used to be able to stay up until 3:00 a.m. and still make it to class on time."

"You still could. But you don’t have to." She slapped her on the butt. "Now get to bed. I’ll see you soon."

"Okay, but feel free to wake me up if you wanna get rockin’."

"You’ll be the first," Jamie said, giving her one last quick kiss.

* * * * * * * *

Jamie was just about to call it a night when her cell phone rang. Her heart leapt to her throat, and she ran to the table in the entryway to grab the phone. "Hello?"

"Is this a good time to talk?" Jim asked with studied politeness.

"Sure. Of course," Jamie said, miffed at his formal, distant tone.

"Uhm … I read it, then I had Kayla read it," he began. "Just to make sure, I had another aide read it, as well as my press secretary."

"What did the doorman at your hotel think?" Jamie asked, mildly offended that he had to have a quorum of opinions before he could give her his reaction.

He paused then said, "That’s a low blow. It’s one thing to have a difference of opinion with me, and quite another to take your opinion to the San Francisco Chronicle. You can’t play the political game and then be angry when I treat this as a political issue. Your actions affect me as your father and as a senator."

"You’re right," she said softly. "That was unfair of me."

He replied in an equally quiet tone. "Thanks for saying so."

"Even though this affects you in a couple of ways, Dad, I’m really only interested in how my father feels about it."

Once again he was quiet for a few moments. "Well, as you might guess, I have mixed feelings. Just one question: did you write this on your own?"

"Every word," she confirmed. "GLBTQDAAD offered to help, but I didn’t want them to be involved."

"I see," he mused. "Well, I guess my reaction is that this could have been a hell of a lot worse. Most twenty-two-year-olds couldn’t have written something like this, especially when they were really angry. Thanks for that."

"So?"

"I wish we hadn’t fought about this, and I wish you hadn’t agreed to write it. But given that you did, this was the best outcome I could have hoped for." He chuckled lightly. "As your father, I have to add that I’m really impressed with how well you write. You have a real talent for expressing your ideas."

"Thanks, Dad," she said, feeling surprisingly proud. She cleared her throat and said, "I guess I lied. I do want to know how this affects you as a senator. What does your staff think?"

"They don’t think it will be a huge problem. Actually, Kayla’s already figured out a way to spin this; it shows that even though you and I disagree on an important issue, we’re still close. She thinks it’ll make me appear compassionate as well as principled."

"It’s all about appearances, isn’t it?" she asked, trying to keep the sarcasm from her voice.

"It is."

"Well, I hope I haven’t made things too difficult for you." She paused for a moment and corrected herself. "Actually, that’s not true. I do want to make things difficult for you, and for every other lawmaker who tries to keep society from recognizing the validity of my love. But I still love you—even though I strongly disagree with your position."

"I understand that, Jamie. I hope we can continue to talk about this. Maybe, over time, you’ll see why I voted the way I did."

"Or maybe you’ll change your position," she said, smiling to herself.

"I guess one never knows, does one?" He laughed, sounding at ease and relaxed. "It’s past my bedtime, honey. Good luck with your article."

"Thanks, Dad. I’ll talk to you soon."

"I hope it’s very soon," he said. "Give Ryan my regards."

"I will." It was on the tip of her tongue to wish the same for Kayla, but she wasn’t able to do that yet, so she just signed off. "G’night, Dad."

* * * * * * * *

On Monday morning, Mia woke to the sound of voices. She lay still for a moment, hoping Jordan was just in the bathroom, but the front door closed loudly and the apartment was shrouded in complete silence. It was still dark out, and she saw that it wasn’t yet six o’clock. Damn. I’ve got nothing to do, but if I’m gonna go to sleep with Jordy, I’m gonna have to get up with her, too. She pushed the covers away, pleased to find that it wasn’t nearly as cold as it had been the day before.

Having the place to herself was preferable in some ways, since she didn’t have to make conversation with strangers. But it was also lonely, and she once again felt completely adrift, as though she’d lost her compass and couldn’t find true north.

A long shower didn’t help her mood, but it did wake her up. She got dressed and found the coffee pot, but there was no milk and no sugar, only artificial sweetener. She realized that even if she could make fantastic coffee she had a need for some human connection. Logging on to the Internet, she found a Starbucks that was just five miles from the apartment. After writing careful directions, she got into her car and started to drive, feeling better to have some sense of purpose.

The Starbucks was connected to a Barnes & Noble, and she brightened at seeing two familiar stores. She bought a copy of the newspaper and drank two cappuccinos, spending the better part of an hour doing so.

By the time she’d finished her coffee, the bookstore was open, but instead of browsing she went back to the apartment and got her notes and textbooks from one of her classes. She returned to the bookstore, found a comfortable chair, and took up residence, spending the next four hours studying.

* * * * * *

When Jamie woke, she rolled over and found not Ryan, but the neatly folded editorial section of the Chronicle bearing a note that read, "I’m proud of you, R."

Well, that’s always a nice start to the day, although I’d rather have my girl here.

Already knowing the words all too well, she didn’t bother to read the article. She dawdled a little in the shower, not in a rush to get to school. On the walk over, even though she didn’t run into many people on the street, she had the creepy feeling that people were looking at her. You’re being ridiculous, she told herself. You’re on the verge of being a full-fledged paranoid. People are not pulling their curtains aside to look at you.

Not many students read the Chronicle, but the few that did must have told others. By the time she was in the middle of campus, Jamie was getting a lot of looks, and this time it wasn’t her imagination. Her cheeks were burning with embarrassment, and she was so angry with herself for putting herself into such a situation that she felt like running back home and staying inside for a week.

When she entered her classroom, the normal chatter died to a hush. Jamie was certain that people were talking about her, and she was sure of it when she saw one woman pass the editorial section to another. For a few moments, she felt the same sense of panic she’d felt when she and Ryan were being hounded by the media. Her heart was racing, feeling like it would burst from her chest. A glance at the clock showed that class wouldn’t start for a couple of minutes, and she was torn between getting up and leaving or jumping out the window.

Her cell phone vibrated in her pocket, and she reached out with her shaking hand to open the cover. It was Ryan. Immediately, her heart started to slow, and she touched the answer button and held the phone to her ear. "Come get me," she whispered.

"Be right there," Ryan said.

"No," Jamie said with a little more volume. "I’m kidding … mostly."

"You don’t need to put up with any shit today. You can just go home. I’m happy to come and get you, and I swear I’ll pop the first person who stares at you."

"You’d better have your brass knuckles on," Jamie said. "I don’t want you to bruise that pretty hand." She could almost hear Ryan’s smile.

"Are you gonna be okay? Tell me the truth."

"Yeah, I am. Thanks for calling, baby. It always helps to know you’re there for me."

"Always will be," Ryan said, her conviction sounding rock-solid.

"Gotta go," Jamie said. "My prof’s here. I love you."

"Love you, too. Call me if you need me. Any time."

Jamie blew a quiet kiss into the phone then hung up, trying her best to listen to her professor. But the hour passed with little of the lecture getting into her head. Instead, she spent the time trying to tamp down the anger she felt at her father. Not just for the stand he’d taken, but for his getting into politics at all. She and Ryan would have still had more infamy than she’d ever wanted, but her being the daughter of a senator made the carjacking story last longer than it would have if she’d been an ordinary college student.

Even the divorce was now news because of Jim’s position. Having a senator get divorced was a big deal in the entire state, not just the San Francisco legal community. By the time the class was over, the blonde was steaming—angry for herself and her lover and her mother.

She left the classroom building and tried to scamper to her next class as quickly as possible. From the corner of her eye, she saw a guy start to approach her. Though she walked even faster, he caught up with her.

"Hi," he said, smiling brightly.

A polite smile flitted across her lips, and she kept walking. The man touched her shoulder, and she ducked away, ready to slap him. But he was still smiling, and his friendliness finally penetrated her fog. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for the piece in the paper," he said. "It meant a lot to me."

"Oh." She looked at him for a moment, not sure how to respond. "You’re welcome."

"That’s all," he said. "I just wanted to say thanks." He smiled again and took off in the opposite direction. She stood there for a moment, then started to walk again. A group of women passed her, and one of them said, "No on 22!" as they walked on.

When she approached her next classroom building, her professor caught her eye and approached. "You did a great job on that opinion piece, Jamie. It must have been hard for you to do."

She nodded. "It was. I don’t think it’ll do any good, but I felt like I had to give it a try."

They got on the elevator together, and he said, "You don’t always know what good you’re doing. Sometimes you help people you aren’t intending to reach. You just have to do your best."

"True," she said. "But I hope I can be just another anonymous student after this blows over. I never knew how nice it was to be ignored when I walk across campus."

"One of the little things you don’t know you enjoy until it’s taken away, huh?"

"Exactly," she said, smiling and feeling much better when they entered the room together.

* * * * * * * *

Ryan was hurrying home from practice later that night, dreaming of spending the evening with Jamie. Her hunger for uninterrupted time with her partner was growing with each day. She’d never before craved the simple satisfaction of doing absolutely nothing with someone she loved, but she craved it like a powerful drug.

She was about halfway home when her cell phone rang. Expecting Jamie, she frowned when she saw "Vijay Khan" on the display. "Oh, fuck!" She said this aloud, startling a young mother taking her son for a walk. "I’m sorry," Ryan said as she rushed past them. She opened her phone and said, "Hi, Vijay."

"Where would you like to meet tonight? We didn’t set a place when we spoke the other day."

"Uhm … I’d really like to meet another day, if that’s possible."

He made a soft clicking sound with his tongue and said, "That’s up to you. But I don’t have another night free before your next progress meeting. Do you feel comfortable enough with your work to fly blind?"

"No, I guess I don’t."

"I’d love to help you out, but I’m really overscheduled this month."

"Tell me about it," she grumbled. "I’ll come to your apartment. What’s your address again?"

He told her and she realized she was just two blocks away. "Wanna have dinner together? Maybe we can finish early."

"Sure. You wanna order in?"

"Yeah. Order me anything. I’m not picky."

"Thai okay?"

"Yep. Just order like three people are gonna eat."

Vijay laughed. "I’ve eaten with you before. I know the routine."

"See you in a few," Ryan said. She hung up and dialed her home, hoping that Jamie wasn’t as disappointed as she was.

* * * * * *

There were more points to cover than Ryan had planned on, and she didn’t get home until ten o’clock. Jamie was in bed, reading from her econ text.

Ryan walked into the room and flicked the book with her finger. "Sleep aide?"

"It works when I’m sitting in class. I thought it would work here, too." She laid the book on her lap and opened her arms.

Ryan sat on the edge of the bed and nuzzled her face into her partner’s neck. "I hate physics."

"Bad night?"

"Yeah." Ryan sat up and pushed her hair from her eyes. "Physics isn’t my strongest point, and it’s not Vijay’s either. It takes us longer to get through those parts of the problems than either math or programming."

"Maybe you should have a physics advisor, too," Jamie said.

"All I need is another person to have to meet with. It’s bad enough that I have to meet every week with Vijay and every month with my prof. I’ll struggle through."

Jamie touched the blue tinged skin under Ryan’s eyes. "You look beat."

"I am. But my mind is racing. We weren’t really finished when we quit, and I can’t stop thinking."

"Back rub?" She gently ran her fingers across Ryan’s back.

"Nah. I’ll go into my room and jot a few things down. If I can get these ideas out of my head I might be able to sleep."

"Mind if I don’t wait up for you? Six o’clock comes awfully early."

"No, baby, you go to sleep. I know it’s hard for you to get up for practice as it is."

Jamie stretched and yawned. "It is. I’ve never understood the appeal of playing golf when the grass is wet with dew."

Ryan gently played with Jamie’s hair while gazing into her eyes. "You doing okay? You sounded pretty stressed today."

"I’m fine. I think this bout of fame is gonna be fleeting. It’s not salacious enough to last long."

"Thank God for that. I didn’t notice anyone paying attention to me today, so I must not have hit the radar."

Jamie smiled at her. She’d never been anywhere with Ryan that the majority of people they encountered hadn’t obviously or furtively checked her partner out. But Ryan was so used to people being intrigued by her physical presence that she didn’t seem to notice it. Jamie wasn’t sure what level of scrutiny would penetrate her lover’s fog, but she was happy that today didn’t reach that level. "I’m glad." She kissed Ryan tenderly, then wrapped her arms around her and held her for a few minutes, finding herself nearly lulled to sleep by her partner’s strong, steady heartbeat.

"Come on, sleepy," Ryan said. She took the textbook away and fluffed up Jamie’s pillows. "Time for Mr. Sandman to visit."

Jamie scooted down under the covers and puckered up for another kiss. Ryan bent down and they kissed softly until her back began to ache. "I love you."

"I love you, too, honey. Kiss me when you come to bed."

"I always do." Ryan blew her one last kiss and went into her room, grumbling to herself when she sat down at her computer and tried to organize the parade of numbers and formulas dancing in her head.

* * * * * *