Disclaimer: The characters of Xena and Gabrielle belong exclusively to MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended through the writing of this piece.

Subtext Warning: Yep, sure is, so if you are under 18 or the subtextual display of affection between two consenting adult women is illegal in the state/country in which you live, or if you are offended by it, read no further. And by the way, I know what you people are trying to do, you want me to write a raunchy sex scene, but guess what? I'm way too much of a tease to do that…yet. It's my keyboard, I have control, patience is a virtue you know, and besides, there is a plot here somewhere.

Author's Notes: Again, by popular demand, I present the following offering to you. Thanks for reading people! Again, guess I'm picking at the cliché thing. This took me a little longer to write than the others, primarily because it was Christmas Eve and Ding, Dong Merrily On High amongst various other things was playing in the background throughout my house and my father and step-brother were fighting over the proxy configuration of the household computer. I'm glad I've got a lap-top. Family, not always conducive to Xena fan fiction.

Acknowledgments: Thanks must go to Lindi for suggesting the title for this one <g>. Unfortunately plastic was not around in ancient Greece, and 'wrapped in parchment' doesn't have quite the same effect, otherwise I could have written some interesting stuff. Again to Justin and Richard, although I think that it has gone beyond them now…So, without further ado, here it is.

The warrior grinned once at the hesitation in the bard's voice. Knowing where this would lead…eventually, she decided to play.

"But I am giving you a hand Gabrielle...with your story."

The bard straightened up slightly, her cheeks flushing a delectable shade of rose.

"Right!" she said, stiffening in Xena's embrace, "the story."

"So, what's the plot?" the warrior asked, still running her finger tips leisurely over Gabrielle's bare flesh.

Gabrielle frowned and looked to her mug of port, as if that was where the answers lay.

"Ah…lost it." she muttered absently, trying to dispel the slight fluttering in her stomach.

Xena smiled slyly before replying, "No you haven't, so far we have our two 'lovers' engaging in foreplay in a tavern."

"Yeah, um, okay," the bard squinted at her mug of port, "so…how did they meet?"

"You tell me, you're the bard." Xena said, enjoying the soft feel of the bard's skin beneath her hand too much to have to worry about thinking.

Gabrielle gave a long sigh and finally reached for her port, taking a couple of large swallows in an attempt to concentrate on something, anything other than Xena's hand and what it was doing. She should not have been feeling the way she was, after all, this was Xena.

"Well," the bard began, placing her mug back on the table with a shaky hand, "there are many ways they could have come together." she said slowly.

Xena raised an eyebrow and smothered a smile with determination, "Really."

"Yeah, but the most interesting bardically is under impossible or extreme circumstances."

"Such as?" the warrior intoned, dropping her hand an inch, so the side of her palm was brushing against the waist of the bard's skirt.

If it was possible for Gabrielle to be less relaxed than she was, she was giving it a good try.

"All sorts of things," the repetition was not lost on the warrior, "ah, after a battle, during a battle, one of the lovers is injured and has to be cared for, ah, one of them gets sick, after a raid-"

"Or rescued from slavers?" the warrior broke in, unable to help herself.

"Whatever, they are just thrown together by chance." Gabrielle finished.

"By chance?" Xena queried, hoping the bard would pick up.

"Yeah, you know, by accident, the Fates. You can’t just have them growing up in the same village and marrying or anything like that."

"I know," Xena said with a nod, "descriptionless nipples." she smiled.

"Sorry?"

"Boring." Xena said flatly.

"Right…boring." The bard frowned and took a sip of her port.

"So, after they've been thrown together, what happens then?"

"One of two things." the bard said with a frown as she felt the tip of Xena's little finger snake slightly beneath the waist band of her skirt.

"Yes?"

The bard took a deep breath, "Well, they either get right to the point, regardless of injury or sickness because their love surpasses all that, or they get to know each other better."

Xena nodded, wondering if she should dare move her hand any lower, "Let's take the second option. How long would it take before they, you know?"

"Oh," the bard sucked in a breath, "it could take years."

"Uh-huh." was all the warrior said.

"Their love would have to…grow."

"Grow?" the warrior asked with a frown, "But what if they knew they loved each other from the start?"

"Oh that would be…highly unlikely." The bard swallowed roughly as she felt another of Xena's fingers slip beneath her waist band.

"But one of them may have loved from the beginning." The warrior offered, shifting in her chair so the stiff bard was positioned more snugly against her side.

"Unrequited love." the bard mumbled, "One of them going through Tartarus because their love and desire for the other was not recognised?" she asked.

"Something like that." the warrior offered, looking down at her charge.

"Well, that would make for an…interesting plot line."

"Indeed." was all the warrior dared to voice as she eased a third finger beneath Gabrielle's waist line. She felt the bard's breath catch in her chest.

"Xena?" the voice cracked slightly.

"Yes Gabrielle."

The bard closed her eyes as Xena's fingers shifted lower, "What are you doing?"

The warrior smiled warmly before answering, "I'm giving you a hand Gabrielle. You do want me to help you don't you? she asked.

Gabrielle swallowed harshly, "Gods yes." she muttered, shuddering lightly against the strength of the warrior.

Encouraged by this display, Xena prompted, "So, this…unrequited love…must make for an emotional crisis on the part of the one who loves."

"I…I would expect so." Gabrielle shuddered again as Xena shifted her thigh against Gabrielle's leg, the warmth between them was torturous.

"What would they do?"

"Who?"

"The one who loved?"

"Ah…well, they'd most likely stay silent from fear." Gabrielle reached out to grasp her mug of port and almost lost it when Xena's hand completed the move beneath her skirt.

"Fear?" the warrior growled as her hand slid along warm flesh.

"Of…of…oh Gods, rejection." the bard groaned as she felt Xena tease her lightly.

"Why would the suitor be rejected?" Xena asked, barely keeping her own voice under control at the bard's reaction to her explorations.

"Maybe that they were not wanted that way." The bard closed her eyes and couldn't help but shift her hips on the chair, pressing herself closer to Xena's hand.

"That way?" the question was pointed.

Gabrielle breathed deeply through her nose, "Physically." she grated, shifting again.

"But how would they know if they never asked?" Xena suggested, glorying in the feel of the bard.

"That's…that's the irony of it, the...the twist in the tale. If they never ask, they never find out."

"But surely," Xena began, lifting her other hand of caress the side of the bard's face with the back of her fingers. Gabrielle leaned into the touch, Xena's finger's searing a hot path along her cheek bone. "There must be another way for them to discover the other's feelings." she finished, drawing in the scent of the woman wrapped protectively in her embrace.

"Two options."

"Are there always only two?"

The bard nodded, her cheek grazing against the warrior's hand, "Otherwise it becomes too complicated." she sighed, slipping still further against the warrior.

"And the options?" the warrior asked, trailing her fingers down along the side of the bard's neck and across her shoulder.

The bard frowned deeply and licked her lips, aching to make more use of them than simply the formation of words.

"Ah, the straightforward approach and the well, diverted approach."

"Explain." the warrior growled deeply, bending her head slightly and uttering the word lightly in the bard's ear.

Loosing momentary function of her voice, the bard shuddered in response.

"Lost for words bard?" the warrior intoned, nuzzling slightly against the blonde's hair.

"Ah," breath, "the one who loves could…simply…pounce."

"Or?"

"Seduce."

"Which one would you prefer?" Xena took in a deep breath and ran he fingers lightly down the bard's arm.

"The pouncing might be…considered too…forceful." The bard shifted again, this time against both the warrior's hands, loosing herself in the touch and sensations coursing through her.

"And the seduction?"

"Subtle."

Xena smiled at that, as subtlety never was one of her strong points, "So you would prefer the second option?" she asked, shifting her hand slightly lower beneath Gabrielle's skirt until she had cupped the bard.

Gabrielle let out a guttural sigh as if her entire being was being strangled with tension from the warrior.

"D…definitely." she croaked as her body moved against the warrior of its own volition.

"Gabrielle?" the warrior asked, the strain of remaining in control evident in her voice.

"Uh-huh?" the bard breathed as she eased against the warrior's hand.

Xena drew in a harsh breath and focussed her attention one last time, "Are you willing now to really discover how much of a hand I could give you?"

Okay, breathe people, but you are going to have to hang about for Nipple IV before you discover how much of a hand Xena could give Gabrielle. I'm sorry (no I'm not), I can't help it, I told you, I'm way to much of a tease to wack in a sex scene just for the sake of it.

Cheers,

Until next time,

Archaeobard.