Chapter 40

No Range Rover.

Jae hadn't realized how badly she wanted to see Reed until she saw the vacant slot, the oil-marred blacktop accusatory in its emptiness. She could just be running late.

The blonde took Reed's laptop and backpack out of the front foot well and slung the straps of both over her right shoulder before adding her own bag to the left one. The coffee was a challenge, but cautious navigation enabled her to squeeze through the front doors without dropping anything.

Her office seemed stark without Cait's computer and assorted knickknacks adding to her own clutter. The director sat the cardboard take-out tray down on the unoccupied desk, along with Reed's things. She'd figure out how to get them back to the actress later.

It was still pretty early, and most of the crew wouldn't be around yet, so Jae dug out the edit notes that Bill had forwarded on Friday. Thankfully, it was material from the second unit and the close up shots of Killian Downey. The Irish character actress had successfully captured Colleen's humour and had excellent chemistry with Sarah. Filming tomorrow would switch to the first unit material for those scenes and would pick up any deficiencies or gaps in the second unit's coverage. Not that she expected any. Michael was thorough and had a deft touch with comedic scenes. This morning they would shoot the preliminary 'villian' scenes, and if she survived that, there was still a memorial service to get through before she could go home.

It was hard, but she resisted the urge to look out the large window behind the desk every five minutes to see if the Range Rover was there. At six a.m., Jae couldn't hold off anymore. Reed had been due in make-up at five-thirty, so even if she had been running late, she should have arrived by now. Or called.

"She here?" The gargoyle maintained a stony silence and refused to answer.

"You're a big help." The chair swiveled and she turned to look for herself. No Reed. Somehow, she'd expected more from the actress. Guess you don't know her as well as you thought you did.

"Whatcha looking at?" Cait's voice broke her reverie.

"Nothing." Jae swiveled back around and faced her assistant.

"Jesus Jae, you look like shit. What did you do - spend the night in a dumpster?"

"The beach."

Cait didn't appear to have an answer for that, and Jae hoped that the subject would get dropped. Preferably over a cliff.

"I'm going to get coffee. Want one?"

Jae pointed at the other desk. "Actually it was my turn. I brought. Might have to run it through the nuker though. I forgot about it."

"You forgot about it?"

"Don't start, Cait, ok? Not today. Not now." Jae knew she was held together with what her grandfather would have called a hunk of bailing wire and a gob of spit. In other words, barely. No sleep and a guilty conscience weren't great weapons to take into a sensitive chat with Cait.

"Touchy. So I guess I won't ask why there are three cups of coffee here."

"What?"

"Coffee. Hot drink - contains caffeine. There are three here." Cait's brow was raised slightly, full lips quirked in an inquiring grin.

Three.... It was her morning for coffee. Had she ordered three coffees? I must have. Here they are. Jae picked up one of the cups and read the side. It was a misto. So no accident, then. "I...guess I was on auto-pilot. It's Reed's."

"You might not want to heat hers up - just in case she throws it back at you."

"Cait..." She trailed off, not wanting to start a conflict with her AD on top of everything else.

"I'm sorry Jae. This one is different, hunh?"

"Yeah. It is. I blew it, Cait. And a friendship is not all I may have blown."

"You have to separate them, Jae. If Reed walks out on the picture just because she found out you're gay - that's her problem, not yours. At work your sexual orientation is irrelevant. You keep telling me that she's not aloof - just professional. Well if she's so bloody professional, then she'll be here. She may hate your guts on a personal level, but she'll be here. Or were you wrong about her all along?"

What on earth is up with Cait this morning? Her friend was direct and honest with Jae in ways that no one else dared to be, but this bordered on antagonistic, even for her. The blonde took a deep breath and reined in her temper. "Maybe," was all she said in response. Then she grabbed her clipboard from the desk. "I'm due on the set."

You were wrong about Roan. Maybe you were wrong about Reed too. So what do I do? In a way Cait was right. It was business. So if Reed didn't show, then she'd do what she had to do from a business standpoint. That decided, she turned and went back into her office.

"Hey pal." She lifted the gargoyle slightly and slipped a blank piece of paper out from under him, then dug in her drawer for a pen.

Reed,

I can't think of what to say right now. There really isn't anything to say except I'm sorry you had to find out that way. That doesn't seem to be enough. But I am.

She took the key to Reed's trailer from her key ring and gathered up the actress' things. It took less than five minutes to get to the trailer and put the bag and laptop inside. She left the key on top of the letter, in the center of the table. The trailer had become sort of like the room in Orlando - a shared sanctuary from the madness of the film set - and a lump formed in her throat as she remembered the haircut. As she remembered what she had forfeited. Wiping away the tears before they could spill over, Jae clamped down on the emotions and left the trailer.

The door to the soundstage opened with a metallic creak, and she stepped into its air-conditioned comfort. The catering table had been moved around the set that had been constructed at the end of the soundstage in order to take advantage of the high ceiling. Jae cut through the set, which was a mock-up of the mental institution, noting as she went that preliminary cables had been laid for the upcoming shoot.

She stepped out of an entryway and collided with the last person she'd expected to see.

Blue eyes locked on hers for a moment, unfathomable in their icy distance, then the moment was gone and Reed stepped past like she didn't exist.

"Reed..."

The tall woman turned on one heel. "My talent, Jae. That's it. Nothing more." Then the actress was gone, long strides taking her across the soundstage before the director could muster a response.

****

The look of hurt in Jae's eyes lingered in Reed's mind as she crossed back to the area of the soundstage devoted to Kerry's apartment. The director looked like shit. There were circles under her eyes and a pallor to her skin that was at odds with the normally healthy tan she sported. It looked like Jae's night had been as rough as hers. Not my problem.

Right.

The bright lights hurt her eyes a little and she took another sip of the coffee, thankful that she didn't have a hangover. An assistant called for places, and she sat her coffee on the side table and moved to her mark. She was grateful that her scenes for the next couple of days were darker than the romantic stuff they had been shooting.

Of course it made it easier that she didn't much care for the actor playing Kyle.

Commands were given and the tableau came to life.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"A friend." Reed moved across to where Sarah was and dropped her voice a register. "Who doesn't like to see other friends being manhandled."

"I don't know who the hell you are, but this is none of your business. Got me?" He tried to drop his voice, but it didn't quite work.

Sarah burst out laughing. "Sorry. Sorry."

They retook their places and Reed waited for her cue.

She could hear the ragged tiredness in the director's voice as the cue came. "Action."

"Who the fuck are you?"

"A friend." Once again Reed moved across to where Sarah was and projected the same edgy menace that she had before. "Who doesn't like to see other friends being manhandled."

"I don't know who the hell you are, but this is none of your business. Got me?"

"Cut," Jae called. "Reed can I get you not to drop your voice so low?"

"You want me to change the character because he can't act?"

"No. I want you to change it because I don't want that level of menace until later. I want Kyle underestimating Dar."

She turned her back on the director and took up her place again.

"Action."

"Who the fuck are you?"

"A friend." Reed re-approached Sarah and dropped her voice a register. "Who doesn't like to see other friends being manhandled."

"I don't know who the hell you are, but this is none of your business. Got me?"

"You know, my father had a name for people like you, but you probably don't want to hear what it was."

"Cut."

Now what? Reed watched as Jae came over, and spoke quietly to Sarah, rotating her slightly so that more of the doorway was visible between them. Then the director turned toward her.

"Not quite so angrily. Try it more conversationally. He gets angry, you stay in control. Bait him. Okay, once more from 'who'." Jae's voice was calm, undemanding and professional.

Reed swallowed her surprise. She'd expected to begin receiving the same treatment from Jae that she had gotten from Roan. Figured that Jae would stop being nice once she no longer had anything to gain.

Probably just another ploy. She needs you to keep filming or her career is toast.

Or maybe she is just doing her job, same as me.

Maybe. But don't count on it.

The noise level on the set suddenly dropped, and Reed broke out of her reverie to see the executive producer come onto the set. Rod Chambers had a magazine clenched in his right hand, cheeks red in anger.

He stopped in front of Jae and slammed the magazine down on a table. "What in the hell is this?"

Not waiting for an answer, Chambers carried on past the director until he was standing toe to toe with Reed, his dark eyes a couple of inches below hers. "What were you thinking? Assuming, of course, that you were."

A number of responses darted through her mind, most of them geared to allow her free rein on her temper and a legitimate chance to escape the set with its associated stress of remaining professionally detached from her emotional responses to Jae. "I was thinking we haven't been properly introduced. And you're standing a little too close, for someone I don't know."

Chambers' face got even redder, but to his credit, he didn't explode. Pity, she thought. Over his shoulder the actress could make out Jae talking on her cell, hand cupped around the receiver. Suddenly she wished her response had been more antagonistic - if she were going to get hung out to dry, better to go out swinging.

"I want to see you in my office, now." He turned on a heel and made his way back across the set. Before he could leave, Jae intercepted him.

"The interview was done with my consent and participation. If you want to take someone to task, it should be me."

Jae's intercession surprised her again. The blonde was not behaving the way she expected, and it unnerved her more than she cared to admit.

The executive producer gave the director a strange look, then jerked his head for her to follow as well. Reed ignored the reassuring smile that Jae tried to give her, and concentrated instead on the dark pinstripe suit of the executive producer.

He led them to a well-appointed corner office down the hall from Jae's and motioned for them to sit. "So, who wants to go first?" The relaxed posture was in direct contrast to the anger he had displayed on the set, and which the actress sensed was still seething under the deceptively calm surface.

"I apologize for not keeping you more closely informed, and we haven't seen the full text of the 'Up Close' article yet. But basically they were hounding Ms. Lewis, she came to me, and we solved the problem."

"By giving a lurid interview to a rag?"

"That information was going to come out anyway. We were able to control how much digging they did and hopefully kept the worst buried."

He looked to her for confirmation and Reed nodded her head, backing Jae up, the irony not lost on the actress.

There was a knock on the door, and Chambers yelled a terse, "come in."

Caitlynn Waters entered the room, loose paper sheets in one hand. "Here's the LA Times response article. Thom just faxed through our advance copy."

"Thank-you Cait." Jae turned to Chambers and handed him the article. "We then had someone close to Ms. Lewis essentially give a rebuttal interview - fleshing out and putting a different spin on the details that 'Up Close' used - effectively scooping them and leaving our..." the director indicated everyone in the room, "version the one the public remembers."

"I see." The executive producer steepled his hands and rested them under his chin, eyes locked on Jae. "So there's no truth to the allegation that you are lovers? That Roan bequeathed his toy to you?"

"What?" Jae flinched, then looked over at Reed, giving her an apologetic look.

"You didn't know? See for yourself." He tossed the magazine over.

Jae picked it up, eyes scanning the page. "He left Blackmon pictures to me?"

"According to their sources, yes, Blackmon and all of its assets - of which she is apparently one. Mix that with a sexual angle and it could be trouble. If you own her contract, you shouldn't be sleeping with her - it reinforces a negative stereotype, one we are trying to break down with this picture." He grinned wryly in recognition of how Hollywood really worked under the surface. "Not that a scandalous set romance ever hurt a picture at the box office."

The only thing that kept Reed in her chair was the obvious shock on both Caitlynn and Jae's faces. Was I the only one in Hollywood who didn't know Jae is gay? Apparently. Chambers didn't seem the least bit upset about the lesbian angle - just the publicity one.

"We're just friends...it's a business relationship," Jae hastily amended. "And I'll void out the personal services contract immediately. We already adjusted the picture-specific contract. We were just waiting to find out who would be left in control of Blackmon to handle the other one."

Reed listened to them discuss the situation, and decided to remain silent, lost for the time being in thought. So why didn't she hang me out to dry? She missed the remainder of the talk, only coming back into the room as Jae's chair scraped the floor when she stood to leave. Following suit, she also stood, then filed out behind the other two women when they left the office.

"Holy shit, Jae, he left you Blackmon." Cait shook her head incredulously.

"We don't know that for sure. The will won't be officially read until later - after the service. And if it's true, the first order of business is to get rid of that contract."

Green eyes turned her way, and for a minute Reed was tempted to smile back. Angry with herself for the thought, she snapped, "It changes nothing, Jae. Nothing." She moved away from the director and continued on her path out of the bungalow.
 
 

Chapter 41

Jae swung her legs out of the car, careful not to crease the knee length skirt or create a run in her stockings. She slipped off her sandals, trading them for a pair of beige low-heeled pumps.

A well-maintained path wound through manicured lawns, and the blonde followed it to where a small group of mourners had gathered. She took a place at the back of the group and quietly waited for the service to begin. Trust Roan to opt for a graveside service. A showman to the last.

A priest in a white stole and long robe spoke a few words in Latin, then was replaced by a man who looked enough like Roan to be his twin. Jae listened with half an ear, still unsure what had made her come at all. Her feelings about Roan were decidedly mixed. The progression of speakers continued until she sensed it was her turn. Mind in a turmoil she stepped forward. How do I eulogize a man that I am beginning to despise?

So much had happened in the last twenty-four hours, in the last week, that she still hadn't come to grips with how she felt about Roan. Is Reed right? Am I subconsciously like him? She knew that her motives appeared questionable, but none of her behaviour had been the result of wanting to use or manipulate Reed.

The faces of the other mourners were indistinct through the tears she was surprised to find she was shedding. No matter what he was to you Reed, he was still my mentor, and friend. And I don't give those up easily. No? Then why have you just accepted Reed's anger and taken all the blame?

Jae sensed that the others were waiting so she stepped forward and touched the satiny surface of the ornate ebony chest that contained her mentor's ashes. "I knew him for years, and to my sorrow found that I didn't know him at all."

She was burying more than a mentor or a friend. In that moment, watching the sunlight glint off the polished wood, she realized that she was saying goodbye to an ideal. And that hurt.

Numb, Jae walked away from the service, unable to watch as the chest was lowered into the ground and unaware of the curious eyes that followed her retreating form until it was out of sight.

She didn't remember the drive home and tiredly mounted the stairs to her bedroom. The answering machine flashed its red beacon-light in urgent semaphore, but she ignored it. Bits and pieces of clothing were left in her wake until finally she reached the loft and fell gratefully onto the bed.

Today had been the sort of day she hoped to never repeat. It's a good thing I'm blonde - or the gray hair I earned today would be showing. She'd survived it, even though it had cut deeply to be so thoroughly rebuffed by Reed. Her note had gone unanswered, but then she hadn't really expected a few words on a piece of paper to erase the mistakes she'd spent weeks making. One hand snaked under a pillow and drew it closer, and she closed her eyes, trying to let the tension of the day go.

Sleep was a long time coming. Her mind was awhirl with images. Reed's eyes, the photos, storyboards for the last two weeks of filming, Roan's grave and the turmoil of self-examination played over and over in her head, like the chorus of a song, keeping Morpheus at bay, until she finally dropped off into a fitful sleep.

A wild montage of images whirled through her dreams, snatches of accusation and Roan's mocking face overlayed intense fear. Her eyes opened, startled, and she studied the end of the bed, focusing on the emerging outline of wood. She could still hear Roan's nightmare voice, a low rumble that confirmed her worst fears...you're finally like me.

She got out of bed, wrapping the blue sarong around her hips and walked out onto the small balcony that opened off her bedroom. The night air was heavy, without the slightest hint of a breeze, and the heat felt like a weight on her shoulders. Snippets of the dream continued to play, making her reluctant to go back to bed.

It had been vivid and surreal - even for her. Peering through the open portal into her room, she looked at the clock. Three a.m. Jae moved back inside, leaving the door open behind her to air out the nervous fear she could feel in the room. It wasn't until she got downstairs that she remembered she hadn't picked up her guitars from Jules. Which left only one option to distract her from the disquieting voice of Roan telling her that she had finally become like him.

The white tape ate what little moonlight glimmered from the smog-hazed night sky and glowed slightly in the dark. Jae finished wrapping her hands and made sure the velcro tabs were securely fastened.

Limber from a light stretching routine, she went to work on the bag, using the repetitive motions and pattern of kicks and punches to settle her mind. The steady whap of her hands and feet against the leather filled the night with a cadence that unwittingly brought back the words she had heard in her dream. The more garish images were fading and most of the words lingered just out of reach, only impressions remained of most of it.

I am not like you, she asserted, pounding the bag. And I refuse to pay for your crimes.

She hit the bag again, making it swing with the violent impact of her foot against its hardness. I'm tired of having my actions judged against your misdeeds. The blows were coming so fast and hard that the bag appeared to be standing still. Before it could move in one direction another jab would change the bag's course, only to be hit again, once more altering the path. I'm tired of feeling guilty, tired... Jae stopped, and rested one hand on the bag to stop its motion.

That was it. I feel guilty. She laughed out loud and shouted at the dream messenger, "I'm not like you!" It was the guilt that separated them. The guilt that had given her a twisted musical nightmare and the guilt that accepted Reed's anger unchallenged.

Jae had never been so glad to feel guilty in her whole life.

So what are you going to do about it?

****

"So what are you going to do now?"

It was a rhetorical question whose solid sound in the air anchored her reaction and gave her something to focus on other than the tears that threatened to escape. Reed looked at the docking station, then at her laptop. Jae had been here, silently returning her things, after she had left to go to wardrobe. On the table she could see the key resting on cream coloured paper.

She left them untouched and wandered through the small trailer. I should take it out and return it.

Ooh that's good - cut your nose off to spite your face.

Fine, the docking station stays.

In the bedroom, Reed gathered up the clothes she had discarded when she came in earlier and stuffed them into a plastic bag. The shirt that Jae had borrowed and slept in hung from the door knob. It smelled faintly of vanilla and sandalwood, the fragrances of both their perfumes lingering on the white cotton.

It wasn't all her fault, you know.

Reed shied away from that train of thought and gathered up the rest of her belongings before digging out the cell phone to call one of the wranglers for a lift to the house. It was, after all, what assistants to the assistant assistant wrangler did now that horses were a thing of the past.

A cheery youth met her at the front door of RenFaire's bungalow and she noticed that Jae's Saturn was already gone. That's odd. Jae is always here. Then she realized where the director had gone.

She gave the boy her address and then ignored him for the rest of the trip, though she was amused by the covert appreciative looks he periodically cast in her direction. The right look and I would have the rest of my afternoon filled. But for what? To prove I'm not gay? She didn't need proof badly enough to have sex with some kid who barely qualified to drink publicly.

And would it really be proof? Came the mental rejoinder.

They were driving against the flow of traffic, the lanes and freeways sparsely occupied as the commuters either had not begun their treks home or were headed in the opposite direction, so the drive passed relatively quickly. Reed nodded politely, uttered a cordial, "Thank-you," as she got out of the vehicle and headed into the house.

Dropping the cell onto its charger as she cut through the living room to the bathroom, Reed thought about her options. Do I stay here or go back to the hotel? This morning it had looked like the hotel would be home for a few days. Now it seemed that Jae wasn't going to push and that they could at least work in relative peace.

Hot water filled the large tub and steam filled the room, the cedar paneling releasing its scent under the humidity. Reed sank into the water, its nearly scalding heat soothing her muscles and skin. Music from the Enya CD she had started on her way through the living room swelled and echoed nicely from the walls of the house. Jae had introduced her to the artist during one of their late night gab sessions in Orlando, and she'd hung onto the CD after they had gotten back.

Why did you have to be like him? I would have done...what? Anything. Just because you asked. You didn't need to manipulate me.

But it had all been a lie.

Reed lost track of how long she had been soaking in the tub, only stirring as the water began to cool. Drip-drying in the LA heat, she strolled to her bedroom and grabbed a dress from the closet. The silk hung loosely and felt good against her skin, its black sheen a perfect match for her hair.

After the various taxicabs and drivers over the last couple of days, it felt good to get behind the wheel again. The Range Rover's precision steering and powerful engine hurtled smoothly along the freeway, and she let the task of driving absorb her attention fully.

It hadn't been hard to find out where Roan's memorial service was being held, and Reed pulled into the parking lot of the cemetery. The service had already started by the time she found the gravesite, and she hung back, watching but not joining the small group clustered about his headstone.

Jae's blonde hair attracted the sun, and the actress spotted her immediately. Reed wondered if the director knew how expressive her posture was, tension and anxiety were easily readable, even from a distance. To the front, a dais held a darkly gleaming box, too small to be a casket, which most likely held the cremated remains of Roan Pirsig. She supposed that California had laws about how you could inter HIV-infected persons, but she didn't know, or care.

He was gone and it was over. So why are you making her pay for his mistakes?

I'm not. She lied to me. Pure and simple. Lied to get what she wanted. End of story.

And you had nothing to do with it?

There was movement in the group and Reed broke off her running mental argument to watch as Jae stepped forward to speak.

"I knew him for years, and to my sorrow found that I didn't know him at all." One hand had touched the chest briefly then dropped back to Jae's side.

Even from the distance of the tree she was lurking next to, Reed could tell that Jae was in pain. The lost look on the blonde's face cut deeply and her words left the actress confused. She had expected Jae to wait around to claim the spoils, but her confusion grew as the director left the service before its conclusion.

Curious, she watched as Jae left, her own emotions a whirling mix of conflicting desires. She couldn't just turn her feelings on and off - no matter how she could make it appear - and right now she wanted...what exactly? It was a good question and one she didn't have the answer to.

Not until the last of the mourners and crew had left the grave, did Reed venture forward, unsure of what drew her to the fresh mound. Roan Laurent Pirsig...Too Soon Gone. There were no specific dates, just the years bracketing his life. 1962-1999. It was simpler than she would have supposed, given his flair for the dramatic and bold showmanship. But then its very simplicity stood out in the panicked opulence of this corner of a cemetery dedicated to the rich and famous, so maybe it wasn't so out of character after all.

Unexpectedly, tears began to fall and the headstone wavered through the watery haze. The ache in her throat confused her. Why now? After all this time? It might have been the overwhelming emotionality of the last few days, but she thought it ran deeper. She just couldn't put her finger on why she would grieve for a man she hated.

It never occurred to her that she might be grieving for the girl he had stolen or the woman she had become.
 
 

Chapter 42

Jae looked up from the editing machine. Michael was standing in the doorframe, his expression hesitant, and she felt her stomach clench slightly in anticipation.

"What's up?" she asked with an optimism she didn't feel. Michael was shooting one of the confrontations between Kyle and Dar, and given the tension that pervaded the set today, Jae didn't hold out much hope that the news would be good.

It was a scene that given her background in martial arts that she would normally have shot, but Rafe Himler as Kyle had proved to be moody and a little reluctant to shoot an action scene directed by a woman. It was easier to let Michael co-ordinate the blocking and rehearsals, while she concentrated on the next day's pivotal conflict.

"She's a clutz."

"A clutz?"

"Her leg goes up..." He motioned with his hands, then suddenly let them drop, simulating a fall. "And wham. She goes down."

Oh boy. To drop the blocking would render the scene totally ineffectual. The audience had to see Kyle attacking Dar. And Reed as Dar had to make the audience believe in her strength and determination. To use body doubles and stunt performers for the whole thing would limit her shots and increase the difficulty of the edit, while reducing the material she would have to work with.

"That bad?" Jae had just assumed that a woman as tall and toned as Reed had some athletic background. The actress certainly moved like she was in control of her body.

"Unbelievable."

Jae turned off the tape machine and stood, cracking her back as the vertebra slid into place.

Michael winced in sympathy. "Ouchers."

"I've been neglecting my own work-outs lately." Which was sort of true. Jae had neglected them more than usual during the early part of filming, with first Reed, then the long days and outside schedule, distracting her from any serious conditioning work. But over the last couple of days she had used brute physicality to bring on exhausted dreamless slumber. Her body wasn't impressed, and aching muscles and abused joints were protesting the savage treatment. "Let's go take a look."

Together they left the technical offices behind and headed for the soundstage. About halfway, Jae stopped, reached out and touched Michael's arm, bringing him to a halt. "Other than that, how does she seem?"

The brief antagonistic flare-ups of Sunday had settled into a cold war of sorts. A social détente in which lines had been drawn and sides chosen. Reed seemed oblivious to the quiet support of her co-star and others, spoke only when spoken to, and when not required to be on the set, disappeared into her trailer. Amazingly enough, the film continued to proceed on schedule. In a bizarre way it served to justify Jae's original faith in the actress. She was a professional.

Brown eyes regarded her thoughtfully, as if trying to gauge what he could and could not say. Which, thought Jae, is hardly surprising given my reaction last time he said something negative about her.

"When the camera is rolling...fine. Better than fine. Otherwise..." He shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows?"

That fit. As far as Jae knew, Reed had only Heidi and Geoff in her circle of friends. Whatever the actress was going through - she was going it alone. Even Holly seemed to be getting the cold shoulder - the scriptwriter paying for the director's transgression the same way Jae was paying for Roan's.

Michael continued, unaware of her thoughts. "In fact, I have to give her credit. We've been over that scene at least twenty times, and not once has she refused to try again."

Jae laughed. "Who'd have thought getting her to kick someone would be harder than getting her to kiss them."

He chuckled back, then held the studio door open for her to enter first, before responding in a pseudo-sage-like manner. "A true mystery of life."

*********

Reed moved to the side of the stage. It was the first time all week that she hadn't left the building as soon as cut had been called. But Hurtowski had said he'd be right back, so the actress found a quiet spot away from everyone else and sat down.

Around her, she could hear the murmur of various conversations, the steady noise filling the large space. Off to one side, Holly was playing with a video camera, but kept it pointed away from Reed. Instead the scriptwriter seemed content to shoot footage of the technical crew who were doing the real filming.

She continued to watch the activity, tucked away in her vantage point, all but hidden from the crew. Head tilted against a large wooden beam, Reed stretched her long legs out to ease the ache that had crept into the overworked muscles. The quiet was broken by scraping of wood against concrete, as a couple of grips began shifting set material to her left.

"What's up with Cavanaugh and Lewis?"

"Dunno. Honeymoon must be over."

"Too bad. Lewis actually looked like she was developing a sense of humour."

One of the people chuckled. "Yeah, her slipping tongue to Pooh bear was pretty fucking funny."

"And that kiss...wow."

"I know. Man, what I wouldn't give to get kissed like that by my girl."

"Some women have all the fucking luck."

The crewmen moved out of earshot and the rest of the conversation was lost in the growing distance and the noise of the partition they were dragging with them. The actress watched the retreating forms incredulously. They think that we're having a...lover's quarrel.

Hey...look on the bright side - they didn't call you the Amazon Ice Queen. "Some bright side," she muttered to herself. Reed stepped out of the shadows as Jae entered the studio with Hurtowski, both laughing over something. Jae's smile slipped a little as she caught sight of Reed, and the director stiffly waved her over.

"Michael tells me that the staging of this scene seems to be a problem"

"It's not the staging. She's a clutz." The jibe came from offstage.

Reed shot Himler a dirty look, daring him to comment again. The actor merely leaned back in his chair, smirking, and for a second she hoped it would collapse under his obnoxious ass.

The blonde director shook her head. "There is a difference between being untrained and being a clutz. I should have checked this sooner."

"Whatever."

Jae ignored the comment and called places. Reed took up her stance and waited for action to be called. She was acutely aware of Jae and tried to focus on the scene instead of on the director.

"Action."

Bending one knee, Reed leaned over slightly and thrust her leg outwards, once again losing her balance. A twinge of pain shot through her groin and she pursed her lips to keep from showing her discomfort.

"You're overbalancing." Jae moved closer, the awkward way she moved telegraphing hesitancy. In spite of the awkwardness, the director shifted her weight and brought one leg up at a ninety-degree angle to her body. "Keep your weight centered here." She touched her lower abdomen.

Reed studied the director's movements as Jae repeated the maneuver. The blonde was balanced and perfectly still, no tremble or strain evident in the fluid motion.

"Now you." Jae indicated she should try again.

Around them the crew was watching, and the earlier comments from two of the grips made Reed feel like every eye was focused on their interaction, the curious stares given weight by the innuendo. She put aside the discomfort and tried again. Her leg got partway up before she lost her balance and started to topple forward.

Strong hands stopped her forward progress, righting her, then quickly let go. "Sorry. " Jae dropped her hands like she'd been scalded and took a backwards step.

Their eyes met for a moment, and Reed nodded then looked away quickly.

"See, a clutz." Himler spoke derisively from where he lounged in his chair. "Or maybe you need a man to handle - action."

A titter broke across the area, the nervous laughter a signal to Reed that the power structure on the set was changing. She wondered why Jae had left the action sequences to Hurtowski despite the involvement of a big name actor. Did Jae realize that if she lost control to Himler, then she wouldn't get it back - her credibility would be eroded?

What do you care?

I don't. I'm just not going to listen to that loudmouth for the next week.

"Why? Is there one here?" Reed drawled, looking around.

Jae's eyes widened in surprise, then she turned in Himler's direction. "No insults on my set. But..." she gestured with one hand, "feel free to repeat that tone in an actual scene. It was perfect."

Reed raised her own eyebrows in surprise; snarky comments were not normally Jae's style. She took a closer look at the director, seeing the tension and exhaustion that ringed the blonde's eyes with dark circles. A tired and cranky director was the last thing she needed to work with, so Reed clamped down on her own desire to take a potshot at Jae. "Teach me."

"Teach you? But..."

Reed lowered her voice so only Jae could hear the next words. "If you don't teach me how to do this - he wins - and you lose control. So get on with it."

"I'd need to - touch you."

She froze, meeting Jae's eyes for longer than a second or two for the first time since the revelation on Saturday. "No." Reed could feel every eye in the studio on them, and the overheard comments of the grips came to mind. She was damned if she did, and damned if she didn't.

Jae nodded in understanding and backed away. "We'll sort something out"

To the side Himler sniggered, and Reed made her decision. "I've got better things to do than wait around. Just make it quick."

"Turn around," Jae instructed, nervous quaver resonating under the rich texture of her voice.

Reed complied, muscles tensed slightly. Jae's hands seemed to take forever to reach her hips, then the soft weight settled over the light twill shorts and the director guided the actress through the movement.

Halfway through, Jae halted the motion. "Right here. Feel it?"

She flexed her knee slightly, testing the feel of her body as it moved through the point the director had indicated.  It did feel different, almost as though she was part of the floor and air at the same time. "Yes"

"Good." Jae stepped back, removing her hands from Reed's waist. "Now I want you to repeat the move, then just before you get to the balance point, extend your leg. As you extend, let your body sink into its center of gravity."

Green eyes were watching her intently and Reed did as she was told, bringing her right leg up in a kicking motion. It took a little longer this time, but she began to topple over, and once again she felt Jae's hands steady her.

"Good. Now try it again a little more slowly. I've got you."

Reed froze at the familiar words, then moved into place before Jae could see her reaction. She half closed her eyes in a mix of concentration and denial. Three little words. She had wanted them to be true. Wanted them true in a way that left her confused and at a loss. Her body sank into the remembered safety of Jae's touch, and Reed pulled away, angry at the self-betrayal.

"I can do it myself." And she did. Lashing out with one foot instinctively, trying not to see the quiet hurt in Jae's eyes.

They went through it a few more times, each run smoother than the last, until it felt to Reed like her leg was going to fall off.

Jae had retreated to the edge of the stage to watch, once more observing the physical distance that had sprung up between them over the last few days.

It was unnerving. There were no crying apologies, no denials, nothing - just a silence between them that was so loud she thought it would deafen her. On edge, she thrust her leg out viciously and felt the twinge of pain explode in an agonizing jolt.

Reed fell to the floor, a soft grunt escaping before she could call it back.

A flurry of activity erupted around her as the studio medical team was paged and numerous people she didn't know hovered over her in a mix of morbid curiousity and genuine concern. The press of bodies made her even angrier, and she inched back slightly to get some space.

"Let her have some breathing room," Jae instructed, squatting down next to where she had fallen. "You okay?" One hand had come to rest on Reed's shoulder, eyes searching her frame for sign of injury.

"Don't touch me."

Jae pulled her hand back. "I -"

"I don't care what you were doing. I'm fine." In spite of the pain, she stood and began to make her way off the set.

To exit the area, she had to pass the screenwriter, who stood, camera lowered, watching her.

"What?" Reed barked.

Holly looked at her intently. "You know. I never figured you for stupid. An occasional bitch, yes. Stupid, no."

There didn't seem to be an answer for that, and she had to get back to the trailer before she fell. Some of the pain must have flashed across her face, because Holly's expression changed and the brunette suddenly slung one arm under the actress' elbow.

Reed went to move her arm, but was pinned in place by both pain and the surprising strength of the writer's grip. "Holly..." she said warningly.

"Shut up, Reed. Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?" Holly began to steer them towards an exit, unobtrusively supporting Reed's weight.

Stunned, she laughed, then shook her head. "No. I have been told many things, but that's not one of them." Capitulating, she allowed Holly to help her off the set, and towards the trailer. "You're not hauling me out here for a sensitive chat are you?"

"Why? Just because you're acting like a total idiot doesn't mean I'm going to say anything about it."

"Good."

They had reached the trailer, and Holly took the keys from her hand and unlocked the door. The pain in her leg was making it difficult to stand, so she slumped onto the settee, gingerly extending the limb.

"Hurts, hunh?"

"Yes," the actress admitted.

"Any particular reason you opted to tough it out rather than let Jae get you medical attention?"

"Must be part of me being stupid."

"Ah. I actually thought it was part of the Ice Queen thing. Now the potshots at Jae - those I thought were stupidity."

Reed regarded the tall brunette thoughtfully. She'd been avoiding Holly, the screenwriter a vivid reminder of the implosion of her relationship with Jae. Only Holly wasn't creeping her out. Her reactions to the other woman were the same as they had always been. A bit weird, true - but the same nevertheless. "Siddown. You're making me nervous, hovering."

Holly sat on the lone chair, giving Reed space. "You sure you want to be alone in here with me? Folks might get the wrong idea."

She snorted softly, lifting a brow sardonically. "I've already been tarred by that brush."

There was a soft knock at the door and Reed stiffened, her heart rate increasing. It would be just like Jae to follow her. Then the absurdity of the thought washed away the adrenaline. Jae won't follow me. Not now.

"You going to answer that?" Holly looked at her quizzically.

"Could you?" She pointed at her leg. The muscles were already tightening and wasn't entirely sure she could stand up.

"No problem. I need to get going anyway. And Reed, don't be stupid. Get that looked at, hunh?"

"Later."

"Unh hunh." The screenwriter shook her head, curls moving from side to side. "At least take some Advil then."

"Deal. Who is it?"

Holly peered through a lacey curtain. "Cait Waters."

Cait was surprised when Holly opened the trailer door. "Reed here?"

"Yeah."

She mounted the steps, and paused at the door. Reed was lounging on the short sofa, the air thick with tension, and Cait wondered what Holly and the actress had been discussing.

"Come in. I won't bite."

"No. Punching is more your style, I gather."

"That what she told you?"

"No, she hasn't really told me much at all. The busted lip sort of spoke for itself."

"What do you want?"

"Jae asked me to bring this over." She extended the hand with the voided contract, and dropped it on the table in front of the actress when Reed made no move to take it. "I need you to sign pages ten and twelve and initial where I've put tabs."

"Too chicken to face me herself?"

Cait leaned in slightly, anger colouring her tones. "I have no idea what she saw in you, and frankly I'm glad you turned out to be such a shallow bitch."

"She fucking you too?" Reed drawled.

That did it. Cait had had enough. If the two of them were going to behave like children, then she would treat them that way. Between Jae's angst filled guilt trip and Reed's petulant brooding, it was starting to feel like a soap opera. "No. Not that I didn't have my chance, you understand. But our Jae has ethics. Not that that's a concept you would understand."

"Some ethics. She used me."

"Really?" Cait purred. "Funny, seemed like a two-way street to me. Or do you really believe it was all her? Tell me Reed, did Jae ever once do anything that you didn't want?"

Though the blue eyes darkened dangerously, the actress didn't respond.

"No. I didn't think so. She's funny that way." Caitlynn didn't wait for Reed to throw her out. She pushed the contract across the table and left, letting the door slam behind her.

"Ouch. That was harsh." Holly was standing against a tree.

"Desperate times require desperate measures."

"She really hit Jae?"

Cait considered the question and the director's original response to it. Reed hadn't denied it, but instinct told her that whatever had led to Jae's busted lip, it wasn't something as simple as a punch. "No."

"Think they'll sort it out?"

"Miss Guilt and Ms. In the Closet? Who knows? They'd have to talk to each other first, and I don't see that happening anytime soon."

"I know. I just want to walk up to Reed and say, 'I have two words for you - latent homosexuality.'"

"Oh Gods. I'd pay to see her face. You see it too?"

"Let's just say I PING the two of them and get 100% response."

Cait stopped laughing, and grew serious. "I've known Jae a long time, and I've never seen her respond to anyone the way she does to Reed. And it's not all sexual."

"No, it's not. And I think that's what would really suck, if they lost the friendship. Connections like that are hard to come by."

They had reached the office bungalow and Holly stopped, half turned toward the parking lot. "Later. Oh, and Cait, Reed's hurt a lot worse then she let on. Might want to have someone check on her later."

"Sure," she acknowledged the remark, slightly confused. The actress had seemed fine. A little pale, but Cait had chalked it up to fatigue and a long day combined with the residue of the verbal sparring match they had engaged in. She absently lost the train of thought, distracted by movement up ahead.

A tall thin woman with electric blue hair was just leaving the building, and an enigmatic smile graced the fine features.

"Now there goes trouble. Wonder what she wanted?"

******

Jae sat slumped on the couch, one foot tucked under her body, eyes fixed on the tapestry that hung on the opposite wall. The threads chased each other around the large fabric, providing a visual distraction as she tried to follow the weave.

For a brief moment today, things had felt almost normal between the two of them again, the tension swept aside in the need to do a job. Then it had all come apart, the icy mask returning to Reed's features.

"You look awful."

Jae jumped, startled. "That's rich, coming from someone with blue hair. What do you want Becky?"

"I came to see how you were doing," was the simple response. Becky folded her lithe form onto the opposite end of the couch. "And to talk."

"Talk?" She looked over at her ex.

"Yeah, you know - that thing we used to be able to do."

Jae just looked at Becky, waiting for the woman to get to the point.

Sinuous in her movements, Becky tucked one foot under her body and rested her chin on a raised knee. "I need to ask you something."

"What?" Wary, she unconsciously crossed her arms over her chest.

"It wasn't because of her, was it?"

There was a plaintive quality to the question, and for the first time since they'd broken up, Jae got a glimpse of what the sudden ending of their relationship had seemed like to Becky. "No. I promise."

Becky nodded. "Thank-you."

"You're welcome." She paused and regarded her ex-lover thoughtfully. "This is going to sound really lame, but it wasn't you."

"It does sound lame. But it helps. A little." Two fingers were held a fraction of an inch apart. "Bout this much." But the amused grin belied any malicious intent behind the words. "You got it bad, don't you?"

It wasn't an angry accusation or even a jibe, and Jae leaned her head back against the fabric covering of the couch, while she decided how to answer. "I don't know."

"No, I guess you wouldn't." Becky spoke quietly. "I was really angry when I saw the two of you Saturday. Actually, I was pretty pissed for a couple of days." She smiled and shrugged.

For an instant, seeing the impish grin, Jae was reminded of some of the good times they had shared and she smiled back. "I bet. So what changed?" she asked, curious. Becky had never been predictable and this conversation was no exception.

Becky shrugged. "I can't have you. I don't think I ever really did. I don't think anyone ever has. But she does. Can I give you a piece of advice?"

"Can I stop you?" The banter was without rancour, following a joking form that they had established long ago.

"No." Becky reached across the gulf that had sprung up between the two of them, bridging it with a light touch and a gentle look. "Fight for her"

"It's not that simple, Becky."

"Yes it is. For once in your life, Jae, don't run from what someone makes you feel." The actress' fingers trailed over the side of Jae's cheek, cupping her jaw momentarily before disengaging. Then Becky stood and left the room, leaving Jae both dumfounded and bemused.

Fight for her... Question was - fight for what? Was there anything between them to fight for? Yes. Her friendship. How?

Jae stood and paced around the room. She'd never chased a woman in her life, and wasn't particularly sure how to go about it. Deep in concentration, she didn't hear Caitlynn knock at the door.

"Hey."

She jumped again, yelling out in surprise. "Aghhh...!"

"Wow. I didn't know humans could hit that range," Cait teased, ducking the swat Jae leveled in her direction.

"Whap."

Cait grew serious for a second, nodding toward the door. "Was that...?"

"Becky. Yes."

"What did she want?"

"To talk." Jae canted her head slightly, eyes narrowed mischievously. "She thinks I should fight for Reed."

Cait's eyes widened in surprise. "No shit?"

"Nope." Jae returned to the couch, and spread her arms wide. "Got any ideas?"

"Now that's a switch. What happened to the 'I'm not worthy' guilty routine?"

Jae ran a hand through her hair, a gesture that made her seem both vulnerable and cute. "I'm not Roan, and if I'm going to be punished, it's going to be for something I did."

"You don't feel feverish." Cait held the palm of her hand against Jae's forehead.

"Ha ha."

"No bumps."

Jae stood patiently while Cait felt around her skull. "Are you quite finished?"

"Yep." She grinned cheekily and flopped onto the couch. "So tell me more. How exactly do you plan to woo the Ice Queen?"

"I haven't the faintest idea."

"It's definitely going to take more than chocolates and flowers. You could try the Romeo and Juliet thing."

"What? Music?"

"They do say that music soothes the savage breast. Maybe you can sing your way out of your little rift."

"I'm good Cait, but not that good." They had curled up on the couch. It felt good to sit and talk to Cait. Things had been unusually tense between the two of them over the last couple of days, and Jae had missed their easy working relationship.

"Yeah. You're right. No one is that good."

They fell silent, just sitting quietly while they mulled over the idea. It was nearly dark outside, and Jae watched the shadows in the room lengthen, while dust motes danced in the last of the day's light. It was one of her favorite pastimes. The patterns created by the sparkling sunlight and the bobbing dust were always different, a reminder that even in everyday things there was always something new. She broke off her self-indulgent eye-play and rolled her head to the side, looking at her assistant. "What's up with you?"

"Hunh?" Cait answered, startled.

"Last couple of days you haven't seemed yourself. Everything okay?" Jae felt guilty. She'd been so absorbed in the stuff with Reed and the movie that she hadn't really taken the time to check in with Cait.

"Nothing a week off wouldn't cure. Remind me again how much prestige there is in being the AD on a major film."

"There's lots and lots of prestige to being the AD on a major film," Jae repeated deadpan.

"That's what I thought." Cait paused. "Fancy a drink and some dinner?"

She mulled over the offer, deciding that a low-key evening might be just what the doctor ordered. "Sushi?" she asked hopefully.

"Only if you promise not to order those vile flying fish egg things."

"I never order them - they just come on the plate. Besides, they add colour."

"Reed like sushi?"

"I don't know."

"Ah, well there's a starting point. All battle plans need starting points."

Jae had the funny feeling that having Cait help her with Reed might not be, in fact, as good an idea in practice as it had seemed in theory. "Umm Cait, about the Reed thing. Let's just drop it okay?"

"Sure," Cait agreed amiably. "But I can still start a betting pool, right?"

The director groaned and flipped off the light, locking the office door behind them.
 
 

Chapter 43

Reed sat, stunned, as the door swung shut. The loud click acted as an emphasis to Cait's parting words. Did Jae ever once do anything that you didn't want?

There it was, stark and undeniable truth. Whatever had been developing between them, she had been a willing participant. Okay. Now what?

The pain in her leg made it difficult for her to sit the way she was, so Reed cautiously stood and limped to the counter, rummaging in an overhead cupboard for the 222's she knew were there. A deep swig of water from the tap washed the uncoated tablets down, and a second swallow erased the residue from her mouth and throat.

Gingerly resting her weight on the couch, she drew the leg upwards, supporting it with one hand, then let it drop softly onto the padded cushion. It was too short for her to rest the full length on the settee, and her foot hung off the end, allowing her to let one shoe drop onto the floor with an audible thud. Still mulling, Reed leaned forward and removed the other shoe, sending it to join its partner with a negligent flick of her wrist.

"Now what, indeed?" Reed closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the overstuffed pillows. "Thirty fucking years old is too late to be re-examining my life choices." She'd just have to do this the rational way. Given - I'm straight. Given - Jae is not. She snorted, if this were a math class, I'd be flunking, 'cause those two givens didn't add up and she knew it.

Alrighty then, plan B. Why exactly am I mad at Jae and not at Holly? They're both dykes. On second thought, let's skip that one for now.

Chicken.

I'm not gay, goddamn it. I refuse to be like him. I'm not like him.

Neither is Holly.

That thought froze her in place, then her mind provided a counterargument. Holly might not be like Father Xavier, but Jae is a carbon copy of Roan. Into safe territory again, Reed let her anger at the director brew, fanning the feeling in an attempt to distract herself from the suddenly sharp memories of adolescence. Memories that had been dredged to the surface by the interviews and the vicious turn her nightmares had taken of late.

The issue wasn't that Jae was gay. It was being lied to, having been used and betrayed by the one person she had let inside. Now it was just a matter of time before those secrets were used against her.

By a friend.

Reed smiled ferally. Two could play at that game. She had weapons of her own. No. You're not that person anymore. She slumped forward, one hand coming to rest on her forehead. The voice was right. Not since Riordan. But if Jae dared to try and use her son as leverage, the director would find out just how close to the surface that part of her still lurked.

Oooh, now that's not too melodramatic, is it? her inner voice taunted, ruining a pretty good pity party. The only problem with that entire line of reasoning is that none of it seems to be your fault.

You can't have it both ways. Either you're mad 'cause she's gay and didn't tell you, or you're mad 'cause she betrayed you. Except, where's the betrayal? It's one big fucking circular argument, Babe. Now deal.

Own your part in it. There was no manipulation because there was nothing to manipulate. She called you on everything.

What about the station and the money?

What about them? Did she ask for anything back? Did you ever feel like she wanted more from you than you were giving her?

She kissed me. Orchestrated that whole practice scene.

Wrong!

As far as Reed was concerned, only idiots lied to themselves. The only person in the world it didn't pay to hide the truth from was yourself. You could lie to everyone else about stuff, but there was no profit in self-delusion.

All three kisses had been at her instigation. Even the studio one. Jae had clearly not wanted to kiss her. And the last one...the last one was all her fault, not Jae's.

"She should have told me."

Why? Her mind persisted, stubbornly. Would it have been different? You wouldn't have kissed her if you'd known she was gay? Kissing straight chicks is cool, but not dykes?

Exactly. She answered herself.

Ah. So that's why you kissed her after you found out she was gay. Makes perfect sense to me.

That was different.

Yeah it was. It was mean and it hurt her. Big difference from how she treated you. That hurt and that was the problem with thinking. Doing was easier, except this really wasn't a doing sort of problem. But thinking - thinking left her more confused than when she'd started - and feeling like an asshole to boot.

There were too many thoughts rampaging around in her brain, too many threads to untangle in order to discover why she felt so angry and yet still wanted to find a reason for it all disappear. To be able to walk up to Jae and smile, and know that there would be an answering one. For a brief moment on the set today, she'd felt it. Felt their connection and almost let herself forget that she was angry with Jae.

Forget that she had been lied to.

Did she lie? Or did she just not tell you something?

Did it make a difference? Yes. And it became very clear to Reed just exactly what her part in all of this was. She was no closer to figuring out what to do about it, but she knew what she had to own as her fault. What would you have done if she'd told you sooner?

The answer left her feeling cold. Didn't exactly make a secret of how you felt about 'people like that', did you?

Irate, she heaved herself up, wincing as her stiffened muscles protested the sudden change in position. One hand lanced sideways, taking a firm grip on the tabletop, the steady surface bracing her against the possibility that her leg would give way under the strain. The painkillers must have done their job, because it hurt less than she expected, though more than she would have liked. "Can't have everything, I guess."

She leaned against the tabletop for a minute, eyes drawn to the thick contract and the amended codicils that freed her from bondage to Blackmon Pictures, then slid to the right as cream coloured paper framed the silver of her spare trailer key. Tentative fingers trailed over the thick paper, brushing its folded edges, but not making any attempt to pick it up.

Touching it, a small smile played about it her lips. It was so absurdly Jae. Handmade paper in a day and age of instant messages and digital communication. The fibres under her fingers contrasted with the cold hardness of the table top and somehow the key was ringing on the white surface, the note now in her hand.

Reed studied the paper as it opened of its own volition. Bold pen strokes resolved into words, and she read the simple missive.

Reed,

I can't think of what to say right now. There really isn't anything to say except I'm sorry you had to find out that way. That doesn't seem to be enough. But I am.

Nothing had changed. She'd not even read the note, and yet Jae had continued to treat her professionally, exactly the same as before. Why? That's what she couldn't fathom and there was only one person who could provide the answers.

You owe her that much.

Reed was torn between what she wanted to do, what she knew she should do and the certain knowledge that doing it would mean facing truths that she'd spent half a lifetime hiding from.

The trailer suddenly seemed too small, its narrow confines no longer comfortable, the space too tiny for her and the memories it held. Brusquely she gathered up her bag, then as an afterthought she tucked the linen paper into one pocket. The voided personal services contract she left on the table. Full dark had fallen, and she slipped out into the moonless night.

Metal gleamed dully under the lot lights, the Saturn still in its slot. Before she could think about it, Reed ducked in towards the bungalow that housed Jae's office. In her ears the sound of rushing blood drowned out the screaming voice that demanded she leave, her heart rate responding to the fear inspired adrenaline. Locked. The actress dropped her hand away from the door handle - letting it pause briefly in mid-air as she considered pushing the buzzer. Disappointed and relieved, she turned back to her car, pulse still elevated.

The keys nearly fell from nerveless fingers as she struggled into the high footwells and seats of the Rover. Seated, the pain faded somewhat and she began the drive home, windows and sunroof open to let the air rush through. In its wailing, rushing flight around the leather interior, the wind made thinking impossible, and briefly she was tempted to just drive, but the quietly insistent twinge in her thigh every time she depressed the brake ruled out the possibility. Instead she steered the car toward the dark heights of the Hollywood hills and the rented house, not bothering to tuck it into the garage.

"Fuck," Reed swore softly into the night air, letting the expletive take with it a groan of pain as she forced her leg to support her weight during the climb up the concrete stairs that led to the house. It had been relatively easy to manipulate the clutch, brake and gas pedal, but getting out of the Rover had proven to be tougher than anticipated, and now it throbbed as badly as her arm had when she'd broken it falling off the barn roof when she was fourteen.

The memory of that last summer at home cut into the more sinister images of the orphanage, replacing them with the burnished gold of fall on the island, and Reed smiled to herself, recalling her mother's angry, worried, relieved countenance, as the woman had looked down, hands on hips. "Were you expecting to sprout wings?"

"No, but it would have been nice," had come the quick reply, and her mother had leaned down and picked Reed up, cradling the smaller form, careful not to jostle the arm which was canted unnaturally to one side.

"C'mon then, love. We'd best be getting you to Doctor Kelly's."

She didn't remember the trip, having passed out somewhere between the barn and the car, but it was the safest she had felt in her whole life, nestled there against her mother, knowing that Rowena Lewis would find a way to make the hurt go away. "I've got you, baby...Mummy's got you."

The echo through time of words heard recently shunted her mind to another moment, and a wild race down an amusement park ride. To a time when she had experienced the same sense of safety and strength beyond measure, in a place she'd least expected to find it.

And with that thought came a return flood of memory, this time of things less pleasant. That was the pitfall of letting herself remember her mother or her grandmother. Remembering time with them led to remembering time without them - and that led to places and things she didn't want to remember.

Things she could never forget.

Sleep would not come tonight, of that she was sure, so Reed stumbled out onto the deck, glad to be out of the dark house and the cloying walls. Falling into the lounge chair, she tried in vain to make out the pattern of stars overhead, the brightness that she knew had to be in the sky swallowed by the false light of the city.

"So much for making the movie, collecting the paycheck and getting out of Dodge." It occurred to her, and not for the first time, that her life would be so much simpler right now if Roan had had the decency to wait before getting himself killed.

Roan. Now there were memories to leave buried. Green eyes flashed through her mind and once again her thoughts came back to Jae. All roads didn't lead to Rome - tonight they all led to a petite, blonde director.

************

"So the big purple dinosaur ate the buff coloured horse while the alien invaders cheered wildly."

Jae knew she was having trouble following the thread of the conversation, but couldn't figure out how the subject had twisted so grotesquely. "What?"

"Ah, so you are awake." Cait reached across and snagged a slice of tamago from the platter, the delicate yellow egg nearly breaking in half under the pressure from the chopsticks.

"Sorry. I was just thinking."

"About? Or is it too obvious for words?"

Grinning wryly, Jae expertly placed a slice of ginger on top of a slice of redfish and dipped it into the wasabi and soya mixture before popping it into her mouth. Finished chewing, she replied. "Actually, I was thinking about Becky."

Cait nodded, mouth full of salmon nigiri, eyes signaling that she was listening.

Warm sake trickled down Jae's throat and she moved her shoulders offhandedly. "She said something and I can't stop thinking about it."

"Going to share?"

"She said, 'For once in your life, Jae, don't run from what someone makes you feel.'"

"Guess she hasn't bleached away all her brain cells. She's a smart woman, Jae."

"Yeah, she is. So tell me why I couldn't make it work with someone that smart, who obviously cares?"

"You don't really need me to answer that. You know. But I'll give you a hint. I wouldn't date you - you're a lousy girlfriend."

"I love you too."

Cait laughed. "Maybe that's her angle. She gets you to chase Reed - who obviously doesn't want you, thereby getting her revenge. Or, you do get Reed, and Reed has to put up with you and she still gets her revenge."

"Cait, that is so twisted." Jae was laughing so hard that the tuna nigiri balanced in her chopsticks escaped into the soya sauce pond with a small splash.

"Never, ever, underestimate a woman scorned," Cait pronounced solemnly. "Remember Sonya?"

"Ah, but Sonya was your ex - not mine."

"True." Cait looked pensive. "Hmm, how come if you're such a sucky girlfriend, that none of your exes ever spray painted your car, or pitched a fit on live campus radio?"

"Just lucky, I guess." Another unfortunate prawn was given a ginger overcoat and dunked into wasabi and soya sauce before meeting its fate.

"Jae..." Her friend paused, waiting for Jae to meet her eyes. "Becky's right, you know. You need to stop running eventually. Just..."

"Just what?"

"Just, I'm not sure that Reed Lewis is the person you should be trying that with. That chick's got issues you could drive a harvester through. You know - rule three - no sucking chest wounds of emotional need. In fact, that woman violates every rule."

"Not true. Rule number two is still okay. Oh, and rule six."

"Alright, I'll give you that, she's not a whack job. Barely. I wouldn't be too sure about rule six."

That was a surprise. Jae kept her eyes lowered and tried to reply casually, "you think she's so far in the closet she's paneling?"

"Something like that."

Jae kept her tone light, masking her inner response. "That takes care of rule four then."

As intended, Cait laughed and together they recited Gryphon's rule number four of dating. "No sexuality experiments. You are not a lab rat."

Inwardly tense, Jae chased a piece of kani around the tray, finding it as hard to catch mounted on rice as live crabs were on the beach. She tried to marshal her thoughts, her mind on a question she'd asked herself on a windswept beach in Miami. It would be wrong. And it would make me like Roan. A small porcelain cup held a serving of sake, and she tossed the clear liquid down her throat. No ulterior motives, no hidden agendas. Just me. It wasn't something she could explain to Cait though, not without revealing secrets that weren't hers to tell.

"I've kinda been thinking about that too." And she had. Reed Lewis had occupied the majority of her waking thoughts and most of her sleeping ones of late. "Forget what I said about wooing Reed." She kept her real reasons to herself and just shrugged. "Rule number one."

Jae took another deep swallow of the brazier warmed sake, the warm rice alcohol lighting a matching fire in her belly. She looked up into Cait's eyes. "Friendship's as far as it goes."

"Some friend. Look, I have decidedly mixed feelings about her. On one hand, I can see that there is something between you that makes me want to shake you both and scream 'wake-up!'" Voice intense and low, Cait leaned forward over the table. "And on the other hand, I don't want my best friend anywhere near a woman who would give her a bloody lip, even as 'just friends'."

"Cait, it wasn't like that."

"Wasn't like what? Then tell me. How'd you bust your lip?"

Jae looked down at the table, shifting her feet under the table, glad of the walls that at least prevented anyone form seeing her face, even if they didn't do much for masking the words. "She kissed me."

"Kissed you?"

"Yes." The word was so quiet it was nearly a whisper.

Cait went quiet for a minute. "You know she wouldn't tell me. Just accepted my accusation."

"You didn't? Please tell me you didn't pick a fight with her. All you had to do was drop off a contract. Cait!"

"Don't Cait me. She asked for it."

"It was none of your business."

"I'm your friend Jae. It is my business."

"You're also the Assistant Director. You were there to do a job, not start a fight."

"Who says I started it?"

Jae leveled her gaze at the other woman, holding her friend's hazel eyes until Cait lowered them guiltily.

"Okay, so technically I started it."

That made sense to Jae. Nothing in Reed's behaviour over the last few days gave any indication that the actress was going to start anything or even mention the specifics of what had transpired between them. Of course, she didn't put it past Reed to escalate things. There had been plenty of evidence of that behaviour.

"Yeah, well trust me, she gives as good as she gets," Cait muttered.

Jae resisted the impulse to grin. That would have been something to see. In this corner, five foot five and weighing in at one hundred and twenty-five pounds, Caitlynn "You can suck my dick" Waters. And in the blue corner, standing five feet, eleven and a half inches, weighing in at one hundred and forty-five pounds, Reed "The Ice Queen" Lewis. "Let's get re-eeaadyyy to rumble." "You didn't tell her to suck your dick or anything, did you?" Cait's colourful expressions of exasperation were legendary.

"It's cock Jae, and no, I didn't."

A geisha girl had brought in the next serving of sashimi and sushi, and Jae watched amused as the girl tried not to show her surprise at Caitlynn's choice of words.

"Good. I think you're selling her short."

"I think you put too much faith in a mercurial actress who does not have the best reputation for reliability."

This tray had a slightly different selection than the last one, and Jae fished a slice of octopus out of the assortment. Topping it with more ginger and wasabi, she chewed contentedly on the ham-like meat. The alcohol was beginning to take effect and she leaned back against the cushioned riser. "She did an awesome job today. Though I'm beginning to think that there is bad blood between her and Himler." As she remembered the way Reed had handled the actor, a slow smile spread over her face.

Cait snorted. 'There's bad blood between Himler and everyone."

"Hmmm...well anyway - she didn't let it stop her from nailing the fight scene, in spite of having to learn the kicks in front of him."

"Kicks?" Cait asked, a worried expression on her face.

"What?" Worried in turn, she waited for the other woman to continue.

"Holly said something about Reed being hurt worse than she let on, and that someone should check on her later. I was kind of confused and then I guess it just slipped my mind. I didn't know she meant physically."

"Slipped your mind? Someone tells you that the lead actress might be injured and it slips your mind? Honestly, Cait," Jae snapped angrily, more at herself for not pressing the issue with Reed earlier, than at Cait, then stopped, a look of horror spreading over her mouth and eyes. "I can't believe I just said that."

The AD looked up, somewhat chagrined. "For what it's worth, it was a pretty good imitation."

Jae just grunted, not wanting to appear too concerned. Oh come on, Jae m'grrl, this is the perfect excuse to talk to her. The colourful and carefully arranged food no longer looked appealing as she wondered how badly Reed had hurt herself.

They sat for a bit, and finally Cait spoke. "This could be a long shot, but I'm guessing dinner is over."

"Hmm. Yeah. Sorry. Do you mind?"

"No. All we had left were those flying fish thingies anyhow."

Jae stood, shrugging into her sweater, then reached for her shoes. "Thanks Cait."

"You're going over there, aren't you?"

"Where?" she asked, trying to look genuinely curious, not wanting to admit that she did indeed harbour intentions of checking on Reed.

"Unh hunh, that's what I thought. She is an adult, you know - perfectly capable of seeking medical attention all by her lonesome."

"Maybe," she allowed. "But it's a work related injury and that makes it my responsibility. Oh good one. "Can you drop me at the studio so I can get my car?"

"No. We've both had enough to drink that it's cabs, not cars."

Jae nodded acceptance, then smiled inside. Caitlynn Crusade number two - drunk driving. They had, over dinner, managed to touch on two of Cait's personal crusades. Domestic violence and drunk drivers. "Alright, how about I drop you on the way?" They had to go by Studio City to get to the Hollywood Hills from where they were.

It wasn't until after they had dropped Cait off that Jae realized Reed might not even be home. Now what? If she called, then Reed would have a chance to hide. Heh - if she can do that then you'll know her leg is fine. And if she just showed up, then Reed could still be at the studio - especially if she were too hurt to drive home.

She ran out of thinking time as the car rounded a bend, the sweep of headlights revealing that the Range Rover was parked in the drive. She's home.
 
 

Chapter 44

The concrete steps were cool under her thighs as she sat silently contemplating what to do next. Knock or call? How about option number three - just go home? Calling sort of negated the point of just showing up. Not that she'd been thinking ahead when she decided to come. I could have called from anywhere. Except phoning left Reed an out. "Too bad I don't have an out." She considered whether she really wanted to risk being rejected, her peace overture ignored.

Around her, Jae could hear an assortment of people, animals and things. The seemingly disparate noises blended in a concert of life, and she lost herself momentarily, drinking in the sounds. A car backfired, a dog barked counterpoint and a splash of water from a nearby pool punctuated the natural verse.

Her cell phone felt heavy in her hand, the buttons illuminated, waiting to be pressed. The smooth wooden door beckoned invitingly, the soft glow of the street lamp glinting from the ornate knocker. Without realizing she had chosen, Jae felt the cell phone come to life in her hands. Three rings and the it was picked up.

"Lewis."

Mouth gone dry, Jae nearly hung up.

"Rio?" There was worry in the actress' voice and it galvanized Jae into speaking.

"It's me."

The silence spun out until it seemed it had gone on forever. Even the background noises disappeared in it, the whole world reduced to faint breathing sounds at either end of a cell phone connection.

She couldn't make the actress talk to her, so Jae stayed quiet, letting Reed decide whether or not to continue with the call.

"Your nephew called."

The sudden breaking of the silence startled her, and it took a second before she registered what Reed had said. "He did?" Her wits about her now, Jae found it didn't surprise her that Reed had begun the conversation with a total non sequitur. That had pretty much been the pattern. They'd argue or have a misunderstanding, and they'd get around it through the back door, not really talking about what had happened or how it felt.

"Yes. He wanted to know if he could still play computer games with Rio."

Reed didn't elaborate any further, and she considered how to prompt the actress. The fact that they were talking about Rio at all had to be a good sign. The actress' tone of voice was less cold than it had been on the rare occasions they had spoken over the last few days, and she hoped that Reed hadn't taken her anger out on the boys. "What'd you tell him?"

"I told him he could. I also told him that you'd buy him the ice cream I owe him."

"Thanks."

"I didn't do it for you."

Silence fell again, and Jae recognized that this time she had to break it. The door felt slightly warmer to the touch than the stairs, and she leaned back against its smooth surface, tucking one leg under her chin. There was so much she wanted to say, needed to say, but over the phone didn't seem like the right way to do it. She needed to see Reed's eyes, needed to be able to gauge the other woman's reactions. You came for a reason - use it. She discarded a million ways to ask if Reed was okay, afraid that the question would be misinterpreted. She was guessing, but from Reed's reaction earlier, what Holly had said to Cait and her own personal experience, she thought it likely that the actress had pulled or at least stretched her groin.

Aware that the silence had stretched on for too long, Jae tried to figure out what to say. Something, anything.

"You call for a reason?" Reed spoke again.

"Actually, yes. I called to check up on the injury."

"I see."

Was that disappointment in Reed's voice? Or wishful thinking? Down the street a car honked, brakes squealing on the pavement as a car swerved to avoid what looked to be a cat.

"Where are you?" Reed demanded.

"Your front steps."

"My front steps?" came the disbelieving answer. "You called me from my front steps?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You're still my responsibility." Then she took a deep breath. "And because I was worried about you."

The line went silent again.

"Can I come in?"

"Is the door locked?"

Jae stood up and tried the handle. Locked. "Yes."

"Then no, you can't come in."

"Okay." Jae sat back down. That's weird. She doesn't sound like she's being mean or trying to make some Lucy pulling the football out from under Charlie Brown 'psych' type joke. She settled back against the door, once more drawing a leg up, then letting it drop suddenly as she sat up, clues snapping into place. "Reed, why can't you come unlock the door?"

More silence. Then a long exhalation. "Because I can't stand up."

"Oh boy. Is there a spare key out here anywhere?"

"No."

"Any windows open?"

"No."

"This would be a bad time to yell at you for not saying something to someone sooner, wouldn't it?"

"Yes."

"Just checking. Well, you have two choices. Call your landlord, or we let the ambulance guys chop it down."

"No door number three?"

"No." An owl hooted in the receiver, and then Jae heard it again, this time from overhead. "Where are you?"

"On the back deck."

"Say hello to door number three."

"Are you nuts? The deck is almost 20 feet off the ground."

"Relax. We climbed worse in college. The guys at Phi Delta Theta never knew what hit them." She was already halfway around, when the ground started to slope rapidly away from the house. Okay, so maybe this isn't such a bright idea.

"You were in a sorority?"

"Not exactly." No way was she going to explain to Reed what she and the women's soccer team had been doing that night. Unh-unh. "I have to hang-up now. I need both hands for this." And my head examined. She laughed softly to herself, lines from a Dire Straits tune reminding her of Cait's Romeo and Juliet remark.

"Jae, don't. Just call the ambulance, let them chop the door down. Fuck the publicity."

Jae pretended not to have heard that last sentence, tucking the cell into one pocket. "Here goes nothing." With that she reached up and grabbed one side of the window frame in her left hand. Using the flexibilty from years of kickboxing, she perched one foot on the sill, leveraging her body up until she could plant the other foot on the sill, using it as a ledge. One small step...
 
 

"Jae!" Reed snapped the cell shut in alarm. "Of all the crazy fucking stupid tom fool things to do." She thought she could hear scraping sounds from below. She's really climbing up my balcony.

Amazing enough that the director had shown up on her doorstep. But now the woman was climbing to her rescue like some knight errant in the stories Rio liked to read. Four days ago, she had never wanted to see Jae again. Now Reed didn't want anything more than to see her blonde head pop impishly over the balcony rails.

Clamping her jaw shut against the wave of nausea that accompanied the movement, Reed twisted her body so that she could see the balustrade.

What are you going to do when she gets here?

"Damn." She hadn't thought of that.

People don't climb two stories for kicks.

It was quiet down below. Only the regular sounds of a neighborhood getting ready to call it a night filled the air. "Jae...?" she called hesitantly.

"Yeah?" It was more of a grunt than a word.

"Just checking."

"To see if I'm alive or dead?" There was a pause. "Sorry. That was uncalled for." The words were hard to hear, the breeze carrying them away.

Maybe I could just pretend not to have heard that pointed question. Except it was, in a way, a fair comment. "Something like that."

"Hunh." This time the noise was more distinct, as though Jae were closer. There was another soft grunt along with a cluster of bumps, then silence.

The deck shook slightly and Reed could hear the rattle of wood vibrating. Her heart was pounding as she watched for the first signs that Jae had made it to the top. She could picture that wall of the house, having spent quite a few evenings overlooking the hillside that fell away in a steep slope, lost deep in thought. As for what Jae was using for handholds - that she didn't want to contemplate at all.

She also didn't want to think about why Jae was slowly picking her way up the side of the house. She cares.

"Hey." Jae lifted herself over the rail and dropped lightly to the cedar deck.

"You're crazy."

"Maybe." The director didn't look to even be breathing hard, a faint glow and a light sheen of perspiration on her brow the only signs that she had been exerting herself at all.

Reed looked away from the green eyes that met hers so steadily, focusing instead on the blanket bunched at the end of the chaise lounge. Oh fuck.

So...you have the guts to apologize? Or the class? Reed cleared her throat nervously. "I read your note. Thanks." That is not an apology. I'm getting there. Slowly she turned back to face Jae, and lifted her eyes till they met the director's. "What I did. That was wrong. I'm sorry." That sucked.

Jae nodded. "I should have told you sooner. I'd say we have lots to talk about, but right now I'm worried about you. Where's it hurt?"

Reed gratefully accepted the change in topic, relieved that there seemed to be room left in their relationship to maneuver around the topic for now. "Here." She indicated the inside of her upper right thigh.

"That's a good sign."

"It is?"

"Means it's not your knee. And you were able to walk on it earlier, so I'm guessing you haven't torn or ruptured anything. A pull or a strain is most likely. Can I...?" Jae had knelt down next to the chair, and was indicating her leg.

Reed swallowed. "I'd...I'd rather you didn't."

"You know something, Reed? Not once in my entire life have I ever forced myself on a woman." The words had an angry, hurt edge to them. Jae looked like there was more that she wanted to say, but instead she closed her mouth then shook her head.

"I ..." she struggled to find something to say.

"Let's just drop it, okay?"

"Whatever."

"Alright. Can I at least get you into the house?"

"Okay." Agreeing, she was completely unprepared for what came next. Jae simply leaned over and slid one arm under her knees, and one under her back, then stood, lifting her smoothly from the chair. The motion jarred her leg and she winced.

"You alright?" They were inside the house now, and Jae navigated the small space between the balcony door and the living room.

"I could be asking you the same question." Reed kept her tone light, mind spinning. You gotta ask yourself some pretty serious questions. She'd thrown one arm around the director's neck and she could fell the smaller woman's heart beat against her rib cage. How can one woman make me feel so utterly terrified and completely safe at the same time?

"I eat my vegetables."

"And bench press what? Two fifty?" She settled gingerly onto the couch, very aware of the places along her body where Jae had been holding her.

Jae laughed, perched on the edge of the sofa. "Not quite. You have a hot water bottle here?"

"I don't think so. Might be something in the bathroom."

"Be right back."

Reed watched Jae leave the room. Alone for a minute, she tried to make sense of the jumbled tangle of reactions the director's presence inspired. One thing was certain; this wasn't going anything like she thought a meeting between the two of them would. On one hand there was a certain ease to it - and on the other a deep awareness that some topics were off limits, as were certain other behaviors they had taken for granted with each other. And that, she knew, was her fault. A week ago if Jae had clambered casually over the balcony, she would have said something like 'You do this for all the ladies?'. She most certainly would have let Jae examine the injury.

The microwave bleeped loudly, then Jae reappeared in the room, a towel-wrapped object in each hand. "No hot water bottle - but this is even better. Rice."

"Rice?"

"Yep. I have a rice bag I use on my neck. Works really well - holds an even heat longer. Here, tuck this under your leg, just behind where it meets your...the top." She handed one towel over. "Wait ten minutes then switch to this."

Reed took the second bundle, noting it was cool to the touch. "Ice?"

"Close. The Mr. Freezies you had in your freezer."

"Thanks."

Jae smiled the first real smile Reed had seen since the director arrived. "You're welcome."

The heat was beginning to seep through her clothes and into the sore muscles, bringing relief. "S'is nice."

"Good." Jae moved to the end of the long leather couch, leaning back against the cushioned arm, keeping their bodies separate.

To Reed, the space between had the same quality of electric anticipation that the air in Maine did before a summer storm. And when the storm finally broke, either things would be okay between them again, or over. Right now she wanted to pretend, at least for a while, that they were friends, so she refrained from saying anything at all, afraid of upsetting the delicate balance that hung between them.

"You want to see a doctor now or in the morning?" Jae asked quietly.

"No option three?"

"No. But look on the bright side - you get tomorrow off."

"Tomorrow then."

"Okay. You should switch packs now. But before you apply the cold, work the muscle gently like this to keep it from stiffening up too badly." The director demonstrated on her own thigh.

Awkwardly, she tried to reach the same muscle set that Jae's flexibility and lack of pain allowed her to reach. "Fuck. That hurts." She gave up, and placed the cold pack under her leg.

"I bet it does. I pulled my groin once at a kickboxing tournament in college. Don't ever let a guy tell you they have a monopoly on groin injuries and pain." Jae got up off the couch, picked up the rice pack and headed for the kitchen.

"Did you win?"

"No. Bounced on my butt first round," Jae answered from the kitchen, her voice echoing from the other room.

Reed tried to picture that. After tonight she was having a tough time imagining anyone who could beat Jae. From behind, soft footsteps indicated that the slight blonde was returning, the aroma of bergamot accompanying her. "You're spoiling me." The quip was out before she could call it back.

Jae didn't reply straightaway, just handed her a mug of the hot earl gray tea and the reheated rice pack. "Well, I have to tell you, there aren't many people I'd willingly scale a twenty foot wall for." The director's eyes sparkled with mirth as she drawled the words.

Hearing them, Reed knew that while a lot of things had changed between them, a lot had stayed intact. Maybe even enough that they could be friends again. "So why?"

"Why did I scale the wall or why did I come here?"

"Either."

Jae looked pensive. "As a director you are my responsibility. That didn't change just because we had a difference of...opinion. You got hurt at work, doing something that I should probably have gotten a stuntie to do after I realized you didn't know how."

It was something to think about, and something that marked Jae as different from Roan. Not speaking, she nodded to show Jae she was listening.

"As for the other. If you really want to know, ask me again when we have more time to talk." One hand ran nervously through her hair as Jae spoke.

"I will." With that Reed knew she was agreeing to discuss what had happened between them.

"Listen, I need to get going." Jae dug her cell out of her jacket pocket. "You have a phone book?"

"Why?" she asked, curious as to who Jae would be calling at this hour.

"I need to call a cab. You need to change to the heat pack now."

It only took a split second, but Reed made a decision. She hadn't come up with the words yet, or really even have a concrete idea about what she wanted to say. There were a lot of issues between them and friendship. But she could make a concrete gesture, and actions spoke louder than words - or so her mother had always said. "Take my car. It's not like I need it."

"Sure?"

"Yeah. I can get it when I'm done with the doctor's."

"How about I send a wrangler around eleven to pick you up and take you over to the hospital? Then depending on the verdict, you can either pick it up or I can drop it off later."

"Sounds like a plan." Her eyes were beginning to feel heavy, the heat from the rice pack and the tea doing their job. "Keys are on the hook by the front door."

Jae nodded and made her way across the living room to the front hallway. "Good night Reed."

"Night Jae."

The door closed softly behind the director, once more leaving Reed alone with her thoughts. Is she being straight with me? She smiled. There was a whole new set of words to use with Jae now and that wasn't one of them.

You're playing with fire.

I know.

On the other side of the room the phone rang, and Reed forced herself off the couch, careful not to put too much weight on her leg. "Wonder what she forgot?"

********

Jae nearly collapsed against the side of the Range Rover. In the space of ninety minutes a relationship she had thought beyond repair had proven to have some life left in it. How much was uncertain. But the professional end of things was at least working again.

Any more than that was a bonus.

Every muscle in her body ached, and she sank into the soft leather interior gratefully. I can't believe I did that. Ah, but 'twas a grand gesture, m'grrl, and 'twas maybe enough to thaw the ice a wee bit, no? She could all but see the twinkle in her grandfather's eye. It was the sort of thing she imagined him having done for her grandmother, and it made her smile.

The drive home passed in a blur, and she struggled up the stairs, falling almost at once into a blessedly dreamless sleep.

The bed was moving, and for an instant Jae thought there was an earthquake, sitting up quickly only to find Antonia standing next to the bed. "Your alarm, it has been ringing for the last fifteen minutes. I only came up to turn it off, thinking you were not at home."

Jae smiled sleepily at her housekeeper. "S'okay. Thanks for waking me up." A familiar aroma drifted through the air. "Mmm, you make coffee?"

"Don't I always? I'll pour some for you while you get ready for work." The older woman spoke over one shoulder as she descended the stairs.

"Thanks. Oh, and when you do the shopping - just a couple of days worth - we leave for Miami on Saturday."

A half hour later she was maneuvering the Rover through traffic, having taken a little while to adjust to the difference in vehicle height. The windows made it seem like she was driving a portable fishbowl, and she was glad for the light tint that kept the morning sun at bay.

She slid the car into Reed's slot, hopped out and jauntily made her way into her office. The shooting schedule would need some minor tinkering to accommodate the actress' injury - how much tinkering they'd know later, when the doctor made a prognosis. "Morning." The gargoyle smiled back at her, toothy grin unchanged, the epitome of equanimity.

"You're in a good mood this morning." Cait was leaning against the office door.

"Yep. We're on time, on budget and everyone's getting along. What's not to be happy about?"

"You talked to her then?"

"Yes."

"She apologize for being such a bitch?"

"Not exactly. But I think she understands that just because we had a personal falling out doesn't mean that I am going to take it out on her at work." In fact, it seemed as though Reed still had major issues with the gay thing, but she didn't want to share that with Cait. "I gave her the day off. She needs to get the leg checked just in case." Leave out the Romeo act while I'm censoring the evening. I'm not hearing about that for the rest of the year. She grabbed her clipboard and sketchbook from the desk.

"I'll adjust the shooting schedule for today, and we'll play by ear then."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"Can you get a wrangler to pick her up at eleven? Here are her car keys."

"Done. Bill wants to see you in editing bay four."

"Alright, I'll drop by there now." She wondered what the editor wanted. Last she had checked he was working on the preliminary edits of one of the boardroom scenes, nothing earth shaking.

But all in all it was shaping up to be what passed for a normal day, and later hopefully she and Reed would get a chance to talk about the real issues that were lying between them. "You think she likes Japanese?"

As usual the gargoyle pleaded a silent fifth, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

She threw herself into the routine, fully concentrating on her job. It was coming together, and it looked like the worst was behind them. Two weeks of principal photography would see them move into post production work, and then the fun would really start. Miles and miles of footage would be condensed into a few thousand feet.

Feet up, she was going over the storyboards for the location shoot when Cait knocked on the door. "Hey. I was ready to take a break. What's up?"

"I sent the wrangler."

The elation Jae had been feeling all morning slowly drained away as she guessed where this was going. "And?"

"You were wrong. She's gone."

Jae didn't wait to hear more. She raced outside and got in the Saturn, making the twenty-minute drive in less than ten minutes. The door was unlocked, just as she'd left it last night, and she walked into the house.

The clothes Reed had been wearing lay crumpled on the floor by the phone, empty tea cup still on the end table. On the desk, the handmade picture frame still held its photo. Jae moved into the bedroom. Some clothes were still in the closet, some haphazardly strewn across the bed. The bathroom told the same story, various cosmetics still rested along the vanity shelf, but the red handled toothbrush that had hung there last night was gone.

Back in the living room, Jae picked the photo up, running her finger tips across the image. Gone. But why now? Sunday...that I could understand. But now? She felt hollow, the elation from the day sucked away by the realization that maybe her faith in Reed had been misplaced. That this was payback.

Slowly she wandered through the house again, eyes taking in details, looking for some clue as to where Reed had gone. In the hallway, she found the toothbrush sitting next to the phonebook, and Jae stopped, puzzled. "Well I give. I have no idea where your mother's gone."

Then it struck her...unless.... Jae left the rest of the thought unvoiced and headed back to the car, hoping that just this once she was wrong.

Part 8

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