Disclaimer: This story may contain scenes of mild violence and adult language. If these things bother you, try "Green Eggs and Ham." It's a good read with great character development and a bitchin' ending. :)
What Price Redemption
Part 5
by Dr. Bob
jag1742@usl.edu
Chapter 5: Shadows From the Past
Xena let out a soft growl as she picked up another few branches, trying to figure out how she'd handle the situation. Ian had obviously fooled everyone. She had to determine a way to make the others understand. At least she was fairly certain that he was the only one. She wondered if he may have had something to do with the poisoning at Keleian's estate. He would probably be meeting others in Illyris. She looked towards Gabrielle a few feet away. She was surprised the younger woman hadn't started interrogating her. She wondered how long it would take before...
"Alright, look," Gabrielle said as she dropped the wood she was holding into a pile. "I think I've been a bastion of patience up until now. Do you want to explain to me what that was about? Who are the Shadow Dragons?"
Xena took a deep breath as she looked down at the bard's expression. She dropped her branches onto the others. "Come sit down," she said, pointing to a large log nearby.
Gabrielle followed and sat down next to her. She waited patiently for her to start.
Xena sighed and rested her elbows on her knees as she wiped her palms together. "Do you remember Cortese?"
"Yeah."
"Well, a few days after we'd driven him and his marauders off, these three men showed up. They said they'd heard about the trouble we'd been having and stated that they could offer protection to us."
"For a price?" Gabrielle asked with a smirk.
Xena nodded. "For a BIG price. And they made it clear that it wouldn't be in our best interest to refuse their offer."
"What did you do?"
"What do you think? We'd just saved our own village by beating a small army, at the cost of some precious lives."
Gabrielle slid closer and placed a hand on Xena's arm.
Xena smiled warmly as she looked back at the red-haired woman. "We told them that if we ever saw them in Amphipolis again, they wouldn't live long enough to regret it. They just smiled and rode away. We thought we'd seen the last of them." Xena took a deep breath as she stared out into the trees, not looking at anything in particular. "We were wrong," she said softly.
"What happened?"
"Two nights later, they came back. With others. They crept into the village and, before anyone raised an alarm, killed several families in their sleep. Including, my uncle, his wife,...and their three children."
"I'm so sorry," Gabrielle said softly as she placed an arm around Xena's waist. A thought suddenly ran through her mind. "You don't think Ian was..."
"No. He's too young," Xena admitted. "We did manage to kill one of them before the others got away. He had a tattoo like Ian's. Anyway, they never came back to the village."
"If you only killed the one, and they never went back to Amphipolis, how do you know so much about them?"
"About...four years ago, I was leading an army around the area between Thebes and Delphi. We were growing in strength. Taking pretty much what we wanted when we wanted it. The only competition was from a warlord named Skerran. His army wasn't as large as mine, so I wasn't much worried about him attacking us. One day, we took in about a score of new recruits in Delphi." Xena took another deep breath. "Eight of which were Shadow Dragons hired by Skerran to infiltrate my army. They lived with us for weeks. Fighting along side us. Making friends. They bided their time until the first night most of them were on sentry duty together. They killed the other sentries. Then they went through my army and...just started cutting their throats while they slept. I awoke when two of them crept into my tent. I grabbed one as they both rushed towards me. The other would probably have killed me if Nadrus, the man I'd been lying with, hadn't thrown himself between us. I managed to get the dagger away from the one I held and shoved it under his jaw. I turned and saw Nadrus and the other man struggling towards the back of the tent. I went to help, but he hollered that he would be okay and to go outside to make sure the others were roused. I grabbed my sword and ran outside. Most of the others had heard our shouts and were already up. Not seeing any unfamiliar faces, it had taken them a few moments to realize what was happening. Of the other six Dragons, we killed one. I ran back into my tent...and found Nadrus dead. The other man had gotten away."
Gabrielle could see both the anger and sadness on Xena's face. "Were you and Nadrus in love?"
"No. But he did mean a lot to me. They killed over a third of my army, Gabrielle. I lost quite a few friends that night." She cleared her throat a bit before continuing. "After searching the bodies, we found the tattoos. That was when I first learned about them. A few of my men had run across them before, said they were high-priced assassins. Putting two and two together, we figured it must've been Skerran. The next day, I had some of my men capture a couple of his. After a little....persuasion, one of them admitted that Skerran had hired the assassins a month before to kill me and as many in my army as possible. So, that afternoon, we attacked his fort and killed everyone inside."
Gabrielle tried to not let her feelings show. She knew that that had been a different Xena from the one she'd fallen in love with. "Did you ever find the Shadow Dragons?"
"No, the place Skerran said he'd met them had been deserted. Over the next several months, I tried to find out more about them, without much luck. I picked up a few things here and there. After a while, I had enough other enemies to worry about. I put the Shadow Dragons behind me. I hadn't run across them again. Until now," Xena added with a slight scowl as she looked off in the direction of camp.
"Well, Ian admitted he used to be one. He must've..."
"It's a lie, Gabrielle," Xena interrupted her gruffly. She sighed as she took the woman's hand again. "I'm sorry. Look, I met a man once whose son had become one. He had eventually tried leaving them, and they killed him. Apparently, once you're in, you're in for life. I think Ian might have had something to do with what's going on in Illyris."
"But Xena, he saved my life."
"That's how they work. They gain your trust and they use you and kill you once your usefulness has reached its end. We have to be very careful from now on."
"What about Cassandra?" Gabrielle asked.
"What about her?"
"How does she fit into this?"
"I don't know. I thought maybe he'd kidnapped her for a ransom. Maybe she's the daughter of some wealthy merchant or something," Xena speculated with a shrug.
"It's obvious that they care for each other. She's not being held against her will."
"I don't know, Gabrielle. But that doesn't change what he is. Listen, I want you to stay away from him."
Gabrielle cocked her head slightly. "That's not an order, is it?"
Xena took a deep breath and held onto Gabrielle's hand. "I'm asking you to please stay away from him. Okay?"
Gabrielle smirked up at her. "Alright."
"Thank you. Let's get back to camp." She stood and gathered up most of the branches piled nearby, allowing Gabrielle to get the rest.
***
Gabrielle looked up as Saraya cleared her throat. The woman was carrying a couple of plates.
"I brought some dinner for you. I wasn't sure if you would've come get any on your own." She handed one to each of them.
"Thank you," Gabrielle said with a smile.
Xena simply nodded politely.
"You didn't have to do....this," Saraya said softly, pointing back and forth from one fire to the other.
"I figured it was for the best," Xena replied before taking a bite of the roasted hare.
"Mmm. This is very good, Saraya."
"I'm glad you like it," she said with a grin towards Gabrielle. "You know, I pride myself on two things, my cooking...and my ability to read people. I study them. It's sort of like a gift."
Xena swallowed a mouthful of water and then smirked up at the woman, knowing what was coming.
"Don't look at me like that. He's a good man, Xena. I can see it in his heart. I think you and he have a lot in common. You both seem like basically good people trying to pull away from their pasts. Pasts which pull back at them. Won't let them forget. You both have found people to care for. To love. To help try and push that past behind you. You both put on smiles like everything is fine. But when you think no one is looking, memories from that past crawl across your face like a shadow."
Gabrielle looked silently at Xena who was staring into the flames.
After a few seconds, Xena smiled slowly as she held up a piece of the hare. "Your cooking's great, Saraya. I can't say as much about your other talent." She looked back into the fire as she took another bite.
Saraya sighed once. "Well, it's just my opinion. Which, I suppose are like noses. Everybody has one. Just bring me your plates when you're done with them." She started to turn around, but then stopped and looked back towards Xena. "Don't make us choose between you. I don't think you'd like our decision." With that, she walked back towards the wagons.
Xena watched her walk away and grunted softly. She passed her plate to Gabrielle. "You can have the rest of mine," she said before taking another drink from her waterskin. "Listen, I know I promised I'd go swimming with you..."
"It's okay," Gabrielle said as she chewed on a small piece of meat. "I'm not much in the mood for it either."
"I'm going check on Argo," Xena said as she rose. "Do you need me to fill your waterskin for you?"
"No thanks. I still have a good bit left." She watched as the woman walked over towards the horses grazing not far from the lake.
After she'd finished the last of the hare, she wiped her mouth and carried the plates over to Saraya and Shinnara who were washing the dishes in a wide tub. She noticed that everyone was rather quiet around the large fire.
"Thank you, Gabrielle," Saraya said as she took the plates.
"Do you need any help?" she offered.
"No, we got it. But thanks for the offer."
Gabrielle looked back towards the fire. Some of the men were playing some type of card game. Cassandra was sitting in Ian's lap, leaning back against him as they looked over a scroll together. She took a few steps forward and smiled when she realized he was teaching her how to read. Aeloic, from the sound of it. She took another step forward but stopped as she looked over to her fire. Xena had returned and was watching her while trying to appear not to.
"Hi Gabrielle," Cassandra said cheerily.
She turned back to the others with a start, smiling as she saw the grin on the girl's face. "Hi." She looked up to Ian who gave back a friendly smile. "Well, good night," she said before walking off.
"Why don't they just leave?" Sammus grunted as he tossed another placard onto the pile.
"Oy-kee-ae?" Cassandra asked, tilting her head back and looking up at Ian.
Ian looked over her at the word she'd indicated. "Oy-kee-ah," he corrected her.
"I'm sure we can convince them they're not welcome around..."
"Leave them alone, Dercleas," Ian said, his tone casual.
"Ian, I just meant.."
"I know what you meant. Leave them alone. Anyone bothers them and they'll have to deal with me." Although his tone was still light, the look in his eyes conveyed the seriousness of his warning.
"Bib-lee-ohn meh-gahs log-is aet oy-kee-ah ahn-thro-pass," Cassandra recited with a wide grin.
"Very good," Ian complimented and kissed her on top of the head.
Xena continued to stare into the flames as Gabrielle returned, pretending not to notice her. She watched out of the corner of her eye as the younger woman rolled out her blanket and took off her boots. "Well, what's Ian up to?" she asked.
Gabrielle's eyes narrowed as she looked across at the woman. "He's teaching Cassandra how to read. Good night," she added with a groan as she curled up into her blanket and closed her eyes.
Xena took a deep breath as she looked from the bard back to the others.
***
"I hate rain," Gabrielle commented, wiping away the hair plastered to the sides of her face.
"So you keep saying, over and over and over..." Xena let her words trail off. Truth was, she'd be more than happy if the deluge would end. It had been raining from light to heavy since an hour after they'd set out that morning. Being that the road was level and hard-packed, Ian and Parmax had decided to press on, much to the chagrin of everyone else.
"Well, at least all the bandits are smart enough to stay indoors," the bard stated with a smile.
"It's just water, Gabrielle." She looked ahead towards the front of the caravan. Ian had stayed clear of them all morning. She figured they'd be stopping in an hour or so for lunch. She hoped to try and get Parmax alone to talk to him.
"Awwwwwwww!!"
"What is it NOW, Gabrielle?"
"Look at my boots. They're filthy. Can I ask you something?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"No. Okay, a chicken eats its own droppings. It has got to be the stupidest animal in the world, and even IT has enough sense to get out of the rain. What's wrong with this picture?"
Xena groaned and switched Argo's reins to her other hand, placing the horse between them. "YOU listen to her for a while," she whispered to the animal.
***
"Why don't you just talk to her?" Parmax asked.
"And say what? Would you like another swing at my head?" Ian replied sarcastically.
"Well, it's bad for morale."
"Morale's fine, Parmax. We're making real good time to Illyris, the rain stopped, the sun's out, the birds are singing. Well, it should last until we eat whatever your wife's fixing for lunch," he said with a grin as he looked passed the man to the woman beside him on the wagon seat. He looked around and pointed to a clearing just ahead. "You can stop over there. Tell Patreon he can take three or four men and go hunting, but not to go too far. We'll set out again in an hour."
"Where are you going?"
"Scout the road up ahead. I won't be long."
Parmax eased the first wagon off of the road and watched as Ian urged the large stallion into an easy canter. As he helped Saraya out of the seat, they watched as Xena galloped after him. "This can't be good," he commented to his wife.
Ian, hearing the sound of hoofbeats, looked over his shoulder and spotted the woman heading towards him. He pulled back on the reins and let the stallion come to rest in the shadow of a large elm near the road. He smirked as Xena drew up across from him. "You needed something?"
"Where are you going?" she asked suspiciously.
"Who are you, my mother? I'm going scout the road. I want to make sure the rain hasn't muddied it up too badly."
"Fine, then you won't mind if I go with you."
"Actually, I do. Patreon's taking some of the men hunting. I think one of us should stay with the wagons."
"Then stay. I'll go check the road."
Ian turned and glanced back towards the caravan, noticing that most of them were looking their way. He turned and looked back at Xena. "You mean you'd be willing to leave Gabrielle around a.....thieving, slave-trading assassin? Isn't that how you put it?"
Xena's eyes narrowed as she glared at the man. "If you so much as look at her..."
Ian raised a hand. "Look Xena, I didn't mean anything by that. It...was a bad joke."
"Do I look like I'm joking?" Xena asked, her voice low as she continued to stare at him.
Ian urged his horse closer as he returned the woman's stare. "Listen, I'm still the caravan master and what I say goes. If you don't like it, tell Parmax you quit and you and Gabrielle can be on your way."
Xena chuckled once. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I bet you had something to do with Keleian's stronghold being poisoned. Shadow Dragons are known for that."
Ian shook his head and looked towards the ground as he muttered something in a language she didn't understand.
"Fine, you wanna convince me you're such a nice guy? Explain to me how and why you left the Dragons. Where did Cassandra come from?"
It was Ian's eyes that now narrowed as he looked at the woman contemptuously. "Fuck you. I don't need to justify myself to you....Warrior Princess," he added sarcastically. He turned the stallion and headed up the road at an easy pace. "Stay with the wagons!" he hollered without turning around.
Xena scowled at the man as he rode away. Reluctantly, she turned Argo and headed back towards the caravan.
***
Gabrielle glanced up at the near-full moon. The rains had pulled most of the clouds with them, leaving the sky clear and the landscape well illuminated. "Here ya go," she said as she handed her and Xena's things to Saraya. Xena had insisted they build a separate fire again that night.
"How was it?" the woman asked.
"Delicious," she replied with a smile. She turned as she heard the children and several of the adults laughing. Ian was sitting cross-legged near one corner of the fire, a smile on his face as he stared at the children sitting before him. Walking closer, Gabrielle stared curiously at the tray in front of him. On it were three over-turned cups in a row. She smiled as she recognized the game. She watched as Aeron, Patreon's son, pointed to the center cup. Ian smiled as he picked it up, nothing underneath.
He then picked up the one on the right, revealing a small wooden chip. His smiled broadened as the children groaned in frustration. "Okay, okay. One more time. Now, pay attention." He placed the chip under the center cup and started sliding them around each other as he hummed some off-key melody, causing the children to giggle. He lined the cups in a row again and looked at the children expectantly.
"That one," Jerrus' youngest, seated in his mother's lap, exclaimed as he pointed to the cup on the right. Ian picked it up, revealing nothing again. He left the other two cups where they were. "Anybody else wanna guess?"
"The.....one on the...left."
"I meant one of the kids, Rexian," he commented as he smirked up at the man. "Anyway, PFFFFTTTTT. Wrong!!" he stated with a smile as he picked up the cup with nothing underneath. He picked up the last cup, revealing the chip.
"Do ya'll wanna try ONE more time?" He grinned as all the children nodded eagerly. After he'd mixed the cups around, he sat back and told them to pick one.
Temanon and Cassandra conferred for a few seconds and then pointed to the cup on the right.
Ian reached forward and placed his hand on top, without picking it up. "Are you sure you want this one?"
They looked at each other again and nodded hesitantly.
"Okay," Ian replied. He still didn't pick up the cup. "Are you absolutely sure you want this one? Maybe you should pick another one."
"No, we want that one," Cassandra said, becoming suspicious.
"Are you absolutely, positively, totally, definitely sure?" Ian asked again. He grinned as the children all hollered in agreement, thinking they'd gotten him. He picked up the cup and chuckled as the children groaned again. He handed the cup to Cassandra. "Okay, Aeron and Temanon, each of you pick one of the last two cups. Whoever has the chip, gets to stay up late tonight." As both boys cheered, Ian noticed each of their mothers giving him none-too-friendly looks.
After each had picked the cup closest to him, Ian told them to flip them over. They looked up at him curiously as the chip was nowhere to be seen. "Where'd it go?" Temanon asked.
"Hmmmm. I'm not sure," Ian replied, holding his hands out in front of him, palms up.
"Well who gets to stay up?" Aeron asked.
"I guess that would be......you," he said as he reached over behind Patreon's ear and pulled his hand back, holding up the chip. As the children laughed, Ian smiled across at the man. "You have first watch."
The man smirked at him. "Couldn't you just tell me instead of fondling my ear?"
"How'd you do that?" Temanon asked.
"It's magic. You wanna see another one?" Seeing he had a rapt audience, he paused a few moments and then looked up to Parmax. "Parmax, would you be so kind as to lend me the use of a dinar?"
The older man looked at him suspiciously. "What's the matter? Don't you have any of your own money..."
"Aww shut up and give me a dinar, you tight-fisted old coot," Ian said with a smirk as he held out his hand. Taking the coin between his thumb and forefinger, he held it up so that the firelight would reflect off of it. "Okay, now observe closely."
Gabrielle watched as he made a few quick gestures with his hands and the coin seemed to vanish. She suspected his long sleeves had something to do with it. But, the children seemed impressed.
"Hey, where's my dinar?" Parmax asked.
Ian smirked up at him again. "Check inside the front flap of your hat."
Everyone watched as Parmax took off his hat and stuck a few fingers into the leather flap, pulling out the coin. "I'll be damned," he muttered under his breath.
"Do it again, do it again," Aeron shouted.
"Uhm...okay. Gimmie something," he asked, holding out his hands.
Cassandra handed him a pebble she'd been playing with, watching as he held it up for everyone to see. He passed his other hand over it, and then held both hands open to everyone, no pebble to be seen.
"Okay. How about something else?" he asked with a smile. "Thanks Temanon," he said as the boy handed him a fig from off a nearby plate. After making it disappear, he asked for something else. He continued to make several other small objects vanish to the delight of the children. "Alright, what's next?"
Grinning impishly, Cassandra reached over and plopped a grapefruit onto the tray before Ian, causing his eyes to go wide and everyone else to start laughing.
"Okay, okay. Not a problem. I can do this," he said, followed by a loud gulp. He picked up the large fruit in one hand and waved his other hand over it, wiggling his fingers as he spoke some type of gibberish. He looked passed the group and pointed into the field behind them. "LOOK, A UNICORN!!" he shouted.
As all of the children and a few of the adults turned in the direction he had pointed, Gabrielle watched Ian toss the grapefruit back over his head, causing it to sail off into the trees not far away.
"Ta-daaaa!" he exclaimed with a wide grin, holding his hands up in front of him as the children turned around. He chuckled as they looked up at him skeptically.
"Do that again," Aeron said.
"I'm sorry, I can't. I've used up all my magic powers for tonight."
Gabrielle grinned as the children complained and pleaded for more. Sighing softly, she looked back over to Xena and THEIR fire.
Cassandra cocked her head slightly as she watched the red-haired woman walk away.
***
Gabrielle looked across at Xena, sharpening her sword. "Xena, I think you're wrong about Ian," she said softly.
Xena passed the whetstone over the blade a few more times before looking back over to her. "I don't think I am. He's definitely hidi..." she stopped as she looked up to see Cassandra coming closer. The girl was carrying something inside of a folded up cloth. "What do you want?"
"Xena!?" Gabrielle said, giving her a stern look. She turned back to the girl. "What is it, Cassandra?" she asked with a smile.
She handed the cloth to Gabrielle. "Shinnara made some muffins. I...thought you and Xena might like one."
"Thank you, that was very nice of you. Wasn't it Xena?" she asked, turning back to the older woman with an arched brow.
Xena sighed as she put aside her sword and took the offered dessert. She realized she shouldn't be taking out...whatever it was she was feeling on the girl. "Yes it was. Thanks," she said with a smile and a nod.
"May I sit down?" Cassandra asked.
"Sure," Gabrielle replied, patting the ground next to her. She grinned as the girl smiled at her adorably.
"Gabrielle, do you think you could tell me a story? Just a quick one before I have to go to bed."
"I think that would be the least I could do after you brought me this," she said with a wink as she took a bite of the muffin.
"Cassandra?"
All three looked up as Ian walked over.
"It's time for bed, little one," he said with a smile.
"Awwwww. Gabrielle was just going to tell me a story. I'll go to bed right after. I promise."
"You sure it's no bother?" he asked Gabrielle.
Before she could reply, Xena spoke up. "Not at all. Why don't you pull up a seat. I was planning on telling a story of my own. It's about the time my brother was killed by bandits and three days later my uncle and his entire family were killed by Shadow Dragons. Or I could tell the one about how Shadow Dragons killed nearly half of my army and..."
"That's enough Xena," Gabrielle interrupted her.
Ian swallowed once and cleared his throat as he looked down at the ground. He spoke softly, "You two have first watch. Cassandra, you can stay for one story."
Gabrielle could see the sadness in his face before he turned and walked away. She looked down and saw Cassandra also watching him.
The girl turned and looked up at Xena. "Ian lost his brother too," she whispered.
"Well, life's tough," Xena replied as she tossed her unfinished muffin into the fire.
Gabrielle watched as the girl rose and started to walk back. She placed a hand on her arm. "Cassandra, how did his brother die?"
The girl looked off in the direction he had went as she took a deep breath. "Ian killed him to save me," she said softly before heading towards the wagons.
Gabrielle turned and looked back at Xena, who in turn stared back into the flames.
***
The gently rolling hills sat in peaceful silence under the bright summer sky. The stars, not to be outdone by the brilliant glow of the moon, sparkled with a radiance of their own. The scent of jasmine hung heavily in the warm night air. The pasture below was full of the yellow, pink, and white blossoms. The half score of hares grazing happily were more interested, however, in the plants' flavor than fragrance. One young hare sat up on its hind legs, reaching up with its front paws towards a particularly inviting leaf. Misjudging the branch's ability to support even part of his weight, the hare fell forward into the small bush. He pulled himself out and shook the flower petals off his fur. He then looked down and spotted the leaf he'd originally been trying to get to. He leaned down and nibbled contentedly on the sweet spongy vegetation, unaware of the eyes focused on him.
High above, a lone owl circled in a slow swirling pattern, careful to avoid passing between the moon and the hares below. It had learned that the flowers below attracted its favorite prey on a nightly basis. Deciding on its intended target, the large bird pulled in its wings and went into a sharp dive, its specially adapted feathers making it practically silent, and very deadly.
Oblivious, the hare lowered its head for another bite. Suddenly feeling a small stone glance off of its hind quarters, it shot forward several feet, the talons of the owl closing on nothing but air where it had just been. As the bird screeched angrily, the hares scattered in several directions at once, none of the animals spotting the figure seated under the tree only ten feet away.
Ian grinned as he heard the owl screech again in frustration, watching as the bird flapped off into the forest. He knew it would've been nature's way to let the owl kill the hare. He selfishly didn't feel like hearing the squeals the animal would have made. Besides, the owl would find other prey. He took a deep breath and leaned back against the tree, thinking about what Xena had said to him. "No wonder the woman wants to skin me," he thought. "It figures. Meet a beautiful woman and she ends up wanting to rip off your head. Maybe you deserve it." He frowned as he looked down at the small sprig of flowers he held. It had almost gotten to the point where he could stop thinking about...everything. He shook his head slightly as he smirked at himself. That was a lie. He never let himself forget. He occasionally wondered if he took some kind of perverse pleasure from torturing himself. He looked out across the amply lit landscape, not allowing himself the luxury of self-pity. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, listening to the silence, or NEAR silence. "What is it, Gabrielle?"
The woman blinked in surprise as she walked up closer. "How did you know it was me?"
"Well, I think if it had been Xena sneaking up, I wouldn't have heard her so easily. And everyone else knows better than to try," he said with a slight smile.
"You mind some company? Most everyone else has turned in."
Ian smirked as he stared back out across the field. "I don't think Xena would like it very much for you to be out here alone, now would she?"
Gabrielle took a brief glance over her shoulder. "Xena...doesn't really trust you. She thinks you're...well..."
"Aww c'mon, Gabrielle. Say it. An assassin, a murderer, a killer, a bane to all of mankind, what?" He chuckled as he glanced up and spotted the look on the bard's face. "She's right, you know. Hell, I'm grouchy all morning unless I can kill three or four people before breakfast."
"That's not funny," she said softly.
Ian looked back down at the flowers in his hand. "You're right. It's not."
"I don't think you're a killer. You saved my life. That's not something I'll forget easily."
"Gabrielle, if I was still what Xena thinks I am, I would've gotten rid of the two of you already."
Gabrielle swallowed once. "That would've been a little obvious. Don't you think?"
"Not the way I would have done it. The point is.....I'm not. I left them....that life....behind years ago."
"Xena says no one is allowed to quit the Shadow Dragons," Gabrielle commented softly.
Ian looked up at her with a wry grin. "If she tells you the sun sets in the East and cows can fly, you gonna believe that too?" He laughed as she just looked at him questioningly. "Well, she's right. If I were recognized by any of them...suffice it to say, it wouldn't be pretty."
"Did your leaving have something to do with your brother?"
Ian turned and looked up at her. "How di..," He didn't need to finish his question as the only possible answer came to him. He looked back down at the small cluster of flowers. "What did she tell you?"
"That you...killed him to save her," Gabrielle said hesitantly.
"I'm sure Xena would've used the term `murder', maybe aptly so," he added as he stared out across the hills.
"I'm a good listener...if you wanna talk about it, I mean."
"I thought you were a bard. Aren't they supposed to TELL stories?" he asked, looking back up at her.
"Listening comes with the job." She sat on the ground a few feet away. "Talking about it might help."
"I doubt it," he said softly. "But, I'll tell you anyway. I just hope you aren't partial to happy endings. I'm originally from a town called Mantinea, about twenty miles west of Argos. You ever hear of it?"
Gabrielle nodded. "I think so."
"Well, it's not TOO big. A lot of wine is made there. My father owned and ran a nice-sized vineyard. We weren't wealthy, but we always had food on the table. My grandfather lived with us until he died when I was eleven. I had a younger brother and an older sister, Darius and Taen. I didn't mind being the kid in the middle. All three of us were pretty close. Well, until my sister started hanging around with her other friends, discovering boys and all that. When my brother turned thirteen, he started getting into trouble. Usual boyhood stuff."
"Did you ever get into trouble?" Gabrielle asked.
"Not really. I was pretty much content working on the farm, knowing I'd be running it someday. I was also smart enough not to get caught whenever I DID do something I wasn't supposed to," he added with a smile. "Anyway, over the next couple of years, the trouble he kept getting into became more serious and embarrassing to my father. The two of them used to spend hours at a time arguing, much to the dismay of my mother. She'd always considered him the `baby' of the family. When he was fifteen, I being seventeen, he came home one day and told us that he was leaving. He said he'd joined these people who were going to teach him how to be a soldier or something like that. He'd be gone for a couple of years. That he'd come back with a purpose and a profession. To me it just sounded like another of his hare-brained schemes. It was music to my father's ears who basically told him not to let the door hit him on the rear on the way out. My mother, however, didn't take it well. She tried, unsuccessfully, to talk him out of it while he packed his things. She asked my father to try and stop him. Hell, my father was helping him pack. Then, she asked ME to talk him out of it. I hadn't seen my brother that enthused about anything before. Although I'd have been sorry to see him go, I thought he should do what he thought was best for himself. That's when she asked if I would go with him, to keep an eye on him. I wasn't so sure I liked the sound of that. My father DEFINITELY didn't like the sound of it, saying he needed me there to learn the family business. While they argued downstairs, I talked it over with Darius. He loved the idea. He said we could have the adventure of our lives, see far away lands, be taught by weapons masters on how to fight. Well, the fighting part really didn't interest me. I was pretty good with a drayun. That was about it. The only time I'd ever picked up a sword was when I needed to chop wood and the axe was broken. The travel sure did sound appealing. Much to Darius' delight, I agreed, figuring I'd be ack in a few years and could take over the vineyard then. And, if I learned how to defend myself in the meantime, so much the better. The next day, we bid our family good-bye and traveled to Argos where we met several other `recruits' at the dock. All of us were pretty excited as we shipped out late that night on a large galley."
"We traveled for about a month. Sometimes over water, mostly over land. We met some strange looking people along the way. We were very well treated, well fed, provided with...companionship. Apparently, they knew how to keep their newer members motivated. Well, we eventually arrived in a land called Ch'in, at the monastery that would become our home for the next few years."
"What's a monastery?"
"Sort of like a temple, where priests live. Except they're called monks. Our training started from the first day we got there. We were placed totally in the monks' care. Ours became a very disciplined life over the next several months. The living conditions were humble. The food palatable. It wasn't like any of us expected. We were broken up into small groups and taught various things day and night. Languages, music, poetry, art, meditation, philosophy, hunting, survival...every facet of our daily routine was somehow a lesson. After the first week, we began learning how to fight." Ian grinned at a distant memory. "Our first lesson was basically eight of us being tossed around for an hour by this little guy, about your size. I remember, he always had this goofy grin on his face. Anyway, we spent the first few days just learning the proper way to fall. We learned unarmed combat first. We didn't even touch weapons for a couple of months. They taught us about strategy. Knowing your enemy. Basic principles of warfare. Over the months, our lessons became more specialized. Moving silently, moving unseen, pressure points, use of poisons."
"Didn't you realize what these things were to be used for?" Gabrielle asked.
"I had a pretty good idea. One day, after we'd spent several hours learning how to prepare a particularly lethal poison from various common plants, I asked the monk what good could come from such a thing. He just smiled and looked at me for a moment. All of them did that. You tended to get used to it after a while. Well, he pointed to a knife on the table and asked me if it was good or evil. I said it was neither, it was just and object. He replied that everything we learned while we stayed there was exactly the same. It was how we made use of what we learned that would determine its ethical implication. I think he was trying to tell me something that I didn't understand until years later." He took a deep breath as he looked out into the field again.
"Anyway, Darius and I threw ourselves into our lessons. It became a friendly competition with us. We devoured everything they would teach us like a starving man devours a piece of food."
"That's where they taught you how to use a staff?"
"Me, yes. Not all of us were trained with the same weapon. Everyone was required to study with the sword, blowgun, dagger, and shaken."
"Shaken?"
"These," he replied, pulling out one of the iron spikes from his sleeve. "We were also allowed to choose one other weapon. I choose the bo staff. Not many did. So, I became a favorite student of the monk who taught it."
"Towards the end of the second year, the leaders of the Dragons were apparently impressed by my brother and I. We were allowed to stay for an extra six months to continue our training. It was during those months that Darius and I started growing apart. He became close with some of the older members, eager to win their approval. He began taking this drug...some type of lotus leaf that the others used. He became...different. Anytime I'd bring up how he'd changed, we'd get into a fight. So, being the stubborn idiot that I am, I figured `screw him.' After that, I threw myself into my lessons even harder."
"Well, after two and a half years, we got our tattoos and finally headed back home. While I was looking forward to seeing our family again, Darius was looking forward to putting his new skills to work. I'd told the elders, as the leaders are called, that I intended to take over my father's vineyard when I returned. They said that wouldn't be a problem as long as I would still fulfill my occasional assignment. They said the arrangement may even prove beneficial. However, it didn't look like I'd get the chance to find out what they meant by that when we came home and met our new brother-in-law. Taen had gotten married a year after we'd left and father had quickly decided to leave the vineyard in the capable hands of his new favorite son. Needless to say, I was upset. He claimed I'd abandoned my home and turned my back on him." Ian paused as he looked up into the sky, spotting the owl again.
"I was surprised at how quickly Darius jumped to my defense. Now, I think he may have just been looking for a reason to go at it with my father again. They argued for several minutes....until my father grabbed him by the shoulder and said something about him not learning any respect while he'd been gone. Darius snapped. He attacked my father, knocking him to the ground and pummeling him. It was no small feat to pull Darius off of him. My mother was in tears, Taen was screaming at him to get out. I was so angry at what my father had done, when Darius asked me to go with him, I agreed. So, less than two hours after we'd returned home, we left again."
"We went to Cynaetha and moved in with the local brotherhood where we were soon put to work. Just doing minor jobs. Spying on one warlord for another, sabotaging a merchant's shipment here and there, stealing a merchant's shipment here and there. Then, after a couple of weeks, we were put in charge of collecting protection money. You know, it's amazing how a person can justify something through rationalization. I would tell myself that if I wouldn't be doing it, someone else would. That it was for their own good. That we were really protecting them. And we DID whenever bandits came around. Plus, I never really had to hurt anyone. I was pretty good at intimidation. After a few weeks, I'd had a while to think about what had happened at home. I decided to go back just to try and make peace. I also made the stupid mistake of asking Darius to go with me."
"What did he do?"
"He lost his mind. Said I was betraying him. So, I went back on my own. It was rough at first, but we ended up talking for a long time. Taen's husband was actually a nice guy. Despite their questions, I didn't tell them what Darius and I were doing. My mother said she didn't care, as long as I was watching out for him. Well, I went back to Cynaetha and collecting tribute. Darius had gone on to other assignments. I really didn't want to know what he was doing. I would see him around occasionally. Apparently, he was working his way up in the brotherhood. We wouldn't talk much. I continued to visit my parents now and then. I think seeing them helped me deal with my conscience. What I was doing for the Dragons was bothering me more and more. Anyway, about two months later, I was told that Darius would be coming with me that night on my collection route. We would be bringing a couple of candidates with us. Depending on how they handled themselves, they would be shipped off to Ch'in for training. Darius seemed civil enough as we set out around dusk. He even asked how the family was doing. Something was different about him. He seemed more...confident. I just took it as a good thing."
Ian looked down at the flowers he was holding and cleared his throat slightly. "When we'd reached the third house, belonging to a farmer and his two daughters, I told them to go inside. I wanted to check something in the barn. The last time I'd been there, I had helped the old man fix his mill wheel. I wanted to make sure it was working okay. On my way back to the house, I heard a girl's scream. I ran inside and saw one of the men we'd brought with us pinning the farmer's eldest daughter to the table, tearing her clothes off. The other was holding a dagger to the father's throat while he held his other daughter. Darius was seated in a chair, watching with amused interest. Furious, I pulled the first man off of the struggling girl and tossed him through the doorway as I heard Darius scream my name. The farmer used the distraction to push the other man aside. As he ran towards his other daughter, Darius threw a dirk at him, hitting him in the neck. As I stood there in shock, the oldest girl ran towards her father who was clutching feebly at the knife protruding from his throat. Darius rose quickly and grabbed the screaming girl by the head. Before I could even move, he looked up at me with this apathetic expression and broke her neck. As I walked closer, still in shock as I looked down at the bodies, he reached down and removed his dagger. He said THAT was how I was supposed to deal with people who wouldn't pay. He laughed as he saw the look on my face. He said the real reason he'd came along wasn't for the other men, but for me. The elders felt I had been too lenient in my dealings with the people. As I continued to stare down at the faces of the man and his daughter, he pat me on the back and said I shouldn't be afraid of getting my hands wet. I looked up as he walked towards the young girl sitting with her back against the wall and her arms around her knees."
Gabrielle watched as Ian shifted uncomfortably before continuing.
"I rushed over and grabbed him by the arm, spinning him around as I asked him what he was doing, already knowing the answer. He turned and looked at me with this weird smile and said there were no exceptions. He laughed as he reached down and pulled her up by the hair, her screams causing him to laugh louder. I grabbed him by the arm again and screamed at him that she was just a child. He back-handed me across the jaw and said if I didn't have the stomach for it to go wait outside." Ian's brow furrowed slightly as he stared at the sprig in his hand. "I remember how his eyes looked....wide, glazed over with this..murder-lust. It was like...I was looking at a stranger. Darius could never be like this...thing in front of me. I remember feeling this rage building in me, rage at this person for taking my brother away. As the girl screamed again and he brought his arm down, I grabbed his wrist with one hand and the inside of his elbow with the other. I pushed his arm down and watched as the dirk plunged into his chest. The second man took off running out the door. As Darius staggered backwards and fell to the floor, what I'd done started to sink in. I went over and knelt by his side, pulling him into my arms. I turned his face up to me, and...stared down at my brother. His face was calm, peaceful. He smiled up at me, and said...that I'd always been there to look out for him...and that he'd never thanked me for it."
Gabrielle watched as Ian cleared his throat again and wiped his eyes, looking away into the field. She started to reach a hand out to him, but stopped herself.
Ian took a deep breath before continuing. "I sat there, holding Darius as he died. He was the first person I had ever killed. I wish to the Gods he'd been the last. But, I was far from through that night. After about an hour, my grief turned to anger. This time, at the Shadow Dragons for what they'd done to Darius with their drugs and their brain washing. Leaving him there, I got on a horse and rode back to Cynaetha, determined to find out how good I truly was. I went into that building fully expecting to die in there." Ian shrugged slightly. "Apparently, I was better than even I knew. I'm not sure how many I killed. I'd stopped counting around twenty; a couple of them were elders. Either lucky for me or lucky for them, many were still out on assignments. I DID leave them a coming home present. Before I left, I burnt the place to the ground."
Sighing softly, Ian leaned back against the tree and folded his arms across his chest. "I rode back to the farmhouse, walked inside and picked up Darius' body. The girl that I'd forgotten all about was nowhere to be seen. I carried him into the woods not far away and buried him in a deep, unmarked grave. After that, I just sat on the ground nearby, staring down at the knife I'd used to kill him. I don't know how long I sat there. I remember I eventually turned around when I felt a hand on my shoulder, looking up to see Cassandra standing behind me, staring down at the ground. She asked me if..." He took another deep breath. "She asked me if I would mind helping her bury her father and sister. Sitting there next to Darius' grave, I hadn't thought I could FEEL anything else. I realized I was wrong as I stared up at the expression on her face. I followed her back to the house where we buried them near her mother's grave in the field behind the barn. After we'd finished, we stood there for a while in silence. I asked her if she had any other family, aunts or uncles, or anyone else who could take care of her. She shook her head and started crying; the shock, I think, having worn off. I knelt down next to her and she turned and hugged me tightly, placing her head on my shoulder. I sat down and held her as she eventually cried herself to sleep. As she slept in my arms, I looked down and realized we were both alone. I couldn't go back to my family. The Shadow Dragons wouldn't have anything to gain by hurting them and I wasn't about to give them a reason. I also knew I wouldn't be able to face them, knowing what I'd done to Darius. Looking down at the graves of her family, I promised them that I would look after her."
He grinned as he turned and saw the smile on Gabrielle's face. "Don't elevate me to sainthood just yet, Gabrielle. I think I was doing it as much for me as for Cassandra. I didn't feel quite so alone with her sleeping in my arms like that. It's a nice feeling knowing that someone depends on you. Well, the next morning, I asked her if she wanted to come with me, I wasn't really sure where. She managed a smile and nodded. We gathered some food, supplies, and some of her things from inside and then set off for Sparta. On the way, we stopped in Mantinea. I went see a friend of mine that I'd had since childhood. We hadn't really stayed in touch since I'd came back. But he was still glad to see me, even when I told him I needed him to do me an immense favor. I asked him to go to my family, and tell them that Darius and I had both died in a fire in Cynaetha. He protested at first until I convinced him that their safety depended on it. He said even though he didn't understand, he'd do it. He wished us good luck and we left the same day. That was almost two years ago; Cassandra and I have been traveling together ever since."
"Did you ever see the Shadow Dragons again?"
"I was attacked once in Thermum by a pair of them. They must've recognized me. I don't think it was random. Shadow Dragons have brotherhoods all over Greece and the surrounding lands. I have to be careful. That's why we don't stay in one place for too long. So, now you know pretty much everything about my past. I once WAS what Xena made me out to be."
"No you weren't," Gabrielle said softly as she moved closer. "You always had a good heart. Or else working for them wouldn't have bothered you."
"I killed my brother, Gabrielle."
"You didn't have a choice."
"How do you know that?" he asked, turning to look at her. "I don't. I could've tried to get the knife away from him. I could've done something sooner when I first noticed what they were doing to him. I could've..."
Gabrielle placed a hand on his arm. "You did what you HAD to. You have to stop blaming yourself for his death, or at least...just accept it. Also accept the fact that you're a good person."
Ian laughed. "I don't know if Xena would agree with that." He turned and looked back into the field. "Would you, Xena?" he asked.
Gabrielle looked back at the older woman, sitting against a small boulder, chakram in hand, watching the two of them quietly. She turned back to Ian who was still staring out across the pasture. "You've known she's been there the whole time?"
"Please, Gabrielle. You didn't expect me to believe Xena would let you out here alone with a Shadow Dragon?" he asked with a smirk as he rose and stretched. He handed her the small sprig of jasmine blossoms. "Thank you for listening, even if I can't say it helped much. If you'll excuse me, I'll go check on the horses," he said as turned and headed back towards camp. "We have to finish hashing out our evil schemes," he added sarcastically as he passed Xena who remained seated on the boulder, looking over at Gabrielle.
She rose as the bard came closer, looking up at her with an unreadable expression. She placed her chakram back on her belt. "Go ahead and say it. I told you so." She blinked in surprise as Gabrielle just walked up and hugged her, resting her head under her neck. "Hey, what's that for?" she asked softly as she wrapped her arms around the younger woman.
"Because I love you," she replied before taking a deep breath, taking comfort from the warmth of Xena's skin against her cheek.
"I love you, too." Xena whispered. As they continued to hold each other quietly, she looked out into the pasture, watching several hares grazing amid the patches of jasmine bushes.