Young At Heart
By
Muzza
DISCLAIMERS:- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, SEE TITLE PAGE
NOTE:- This story is based in the UK. I have had a few people telling me that there are bits they don't understand due to the fact they are not British so I'm going to explain it all here.
In the UK the age of sexual consent is 16.
The legal drinking age is 18.
You leave school when you are 16.
GCSE's are General Certificate of Secondary Education. They are the final exams in school. I think that is about it. If there is something else you don't understand please feel free to ask.
Any comments send to : Muzza
Chapter 8
As Jamie and Tegan walked up the stairs, Tegan wondered what possessed her to offer to help Jamie. Maybe it was because she looked so tired and she shouldn't be counting money when she can hardly keep her eyes open.
When they got to Jamie's office Tegan finally up the courage to actually speak her mind to Jamie. "Jamie, why don't you leave the money until tomorrow? You look tired and should get some sleep."
Jamie looked at Tegan and smiled. "There is nothing I would like more than to go home, crawl into bed and go to sleep, but I have to close up."
"Well, can't you get someone else to close up?" Tegan asked.
"I suppose I could ask Ollie," Jamie said. "He locks up when I'm not here."
"Well ask Ollie and then you can sleep in my apartment. You can have the bed and I'll have the sofa." Tegan said, not believing she was actually saying all of this. "You can't drive home like this."
Tegan and Jamie walked down towards Tegan's apartment. "Are you sure you don't mind?" Jamie asked.
"Of course I don't mind, this is still your place remember." Tegan said "I'll get some tea on now, while you go down to see Ollie. How do you take your tea?"
"Milk and one sugar please, but I'll have to grab some milk from the fridge in my office. I doubt there's any in yours," Jamie said. "I won't be long."
"Ok" Tegan said.
Jamie walked back up the corridor and down into the club. Ollie was near the door.
"Ollie," She called. "Can you lock up tonight?" She asked, when he reached her.
"Sure. You ok?" He asked, seeing the tired look on his bosses face.
"Yeah, I'm just extremely tired" Jamie admitted.
"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon." Ollie said.
"Ok," Jamie said. "Night Ollie." Then she turned back towards the stairs. She never saw the knowing smile that crossed Ollie's face, or the two angry eyes that followed her out of the room.
* * * * *
Meanwhile upstairs Tegan was making the tea. She couldn't believe she had told Jamie to spend the night. That was something she hadn't expected. The kettle was just boiling when there was a knock on the door.
When she answered the door she had the wonderful sight of Jamie leaning against the wall dozing off. She woke herself when she saw Tegan standing in front of her.
"You know, you do know the key code to my apartment yet you still knock. Even though you know I'm expecting you," She said. "Why?"
"Because I respect your privacy," Jamie said. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure," Tegan said.
"Well I was wondering why you lied to Ollie today about not being Mayor Rhys' daughter. I mean how many Tegan Rhys' are there in River's End?" Jamie asked, it was one of the questions that had plagued her all afternoon.
"Before I left home, my father told me not to let anyone know who my family was." Tegan admitted sadly. She saw the slightly curved eyebrow rise and noticed it seemed kind of familiar, "Family problems," Tegan said, not wanting to take it any further than that.
Jamie sensed this, "I know you don't know me very well, but if you ever need to talk about it, I'm always ready to listen."
Tegan smiled. "Thanks Jamie. Now drink your tea, so we can get you to bed."
"Ok," Jamie said. "Tegan, can I ask you something that might sound really stupid?"
"Sure" Tegan said, wondering what she could possibly ask that would sound stupid.
"Have you ever felt that as soon as you see someone, it's like you know them but you don't know how? You know you've never met them before but the recognition is there from the start?" Jamie asked, that had also been bothering her since she met Tegan earlier, being tired now had lowered her inhibitions enough to ask.
"Not until today," Tegan admitted. "The minute I saw you I felt like I knew you, but I don't know where from."
"Really? I felt that way the minute I saw you." Jamie said, feeling better now she had asked and she knew Tegan felt the same. She finished her tea and then Tegan forced her to go to bed.
Lying in bed that night, although she was absolutely shattered, Jamie couldn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Tegan's face, 'Not that that's a bad thing', she thought to herself, but every time she saw her face, she kept wondering where she had seen her before. She couldn't put her finger on it. There was something about those green eyes though. She felt like she had looked in them a thousand times before. Finally, with this still on her mind, she fell asleep.
* * * * *
In the other room Tegan was writing in the diary she had kept since she was young. It had been with her everywhere and it had seen a lot of different things. This was actually the third one she had kept and every page was full of the experiences she had had.
Well today has been a day of mixed emotions for me. I left home today and I am trying to grieve for my lost innocence but I haven't had the chance. Every time I think of being with someone else now my skin crawls. I have had no-one to talk to and I know in the end I need to talk to someone because I can't keep it inside me.
However I did meet the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. Her father owns a night-club in the town and he has agreed to let out the apartment above the club for £10 a week. Which is incredibly good considering the apartment. It is wonderful and for the first time now I don't feel sorry to have left home. I miss my family and all, nothing will change that but I have settled in here really quickly and I feel at home. I think Jamie had a lot to do with that but for the first time in my life I feel independent. I have no-one to depend on, no-one to criticize my decisions and no-one to tell me what to do, who to support, what to say or anything.
I've been thinking a bit about the fact that I might be pregnant and I don't know what I'll do if I am. Dad wants me to have the baby and give it for adoption but I don't know if I'd be able to do that. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Anyway I am going to sleep now and hopefully I'll be able to sleep without remembering what has happened to me the last few days.
With that done Tegan set everything and lay on the sofa with the blankets and pillow she had set up for herself while Jamie was downstairs.
As she lay there she started thinking about Jamie. She had never experienced the feelings coursing through her before and they were confusing her. She knew Jamie was as confused as she was about the recognition they both felt which only added to her confusion, 'Maybe it'll come to us both one day', she thought as she drifted off to sleep.
* * * * *
Much to her astonishment, Jamie slept until 10 am the following morning. For her, that was late. She was usually up just after 7 am. It took her a few minutes to realise where exactly she was, when she did, she also remembered whose apartment it was now.
She got out of bed and changed back into her suit, she didn't have any night-clothes with her so she had had to sleep in her underwear, 'Can't exactly go walking around in those.' She thought to herself.
When she got into the living room, she noticed that Tegan was still sleeping. She also noticed that she didn't look too comfortable. So she gently picked her up and took her to the bedroom. She almost stopped dead in her tracks when Tegan, still sleeping, put her arms around her neck and mumbled, 'love you,' before placing a gentle kiss on her neck. She wondered if this was Tegan's heart speaking or if she was dreaming about someone and had thought Jamie was that person. That thought disappointed Jamie more than it should have and more than she had expected it too. So she lay Tegan down on the bed quietly and pulled the blankets up around her, then she hesitated before gently kissing Tegan on the forehead. She watched the sleeping girl for a minute before she turned and left.
She left a note on the table just in front of the bedroom door so Tegan would see it, then she left and went up to her office. She changed into the jeans and T-shirt she had been wearing yesterday, then headed downstairs to get the money from the tills so she could count that up before counting the money raised from the auction.
* * * * *
"Hey." She beamed, as she looked down at Jamie who was lying down covered in only sheet. The woman looked extremely weak and her skin was pale.
"Hey to you too." Jamie said, weakly.
"How are you feeling?" She asked, she felt like she was looking in on a very personal scene, that although she was there in body, it wasn't her. She didn't know what had happened or why Jamie was there lying on what looked like a really old fashioned bed. It looked more Medieval than old. The kind of bed they had in halls for the sick when Robin Hood was around.
"Like I've been shot in the back." Jamie said sheepishly.
She chuckled. "Really don't know why you would feel like that."
"Me either." Jamie agreed.
"Ariana told me what happened." She said.
"Yeah," Jamie said. "I never even heard that damned arrow." Jamie told her as she struggled to sit up. She moved forward to help her.
"Don't get me wrong I've never been so glad to see anyone in my whole life." She said. "But why did you come here?"
"I had a promise to keep," Jamie said. "As soon as I saw the amount of blood I was losing I knew I needed help. I was too far away from home. This was the nearest village," Jamie admitted. "I'm sorry if I scared you."
"It's okay." She smiled. "I'm just glad you're okay." She looked down at the floor and then back to the warrior. "I don't know what I would have done if something had happened to you."
She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She wasn't sure if they were tears of relief at just how close she had come to losing her soul mate, or tears of joy at having Jamie by her side again. Jamie saw the tears and slipped her arms around the bard, smiling as she felt the pressure returned.
"It's going to take more than an arrow to finish me off." Jamie said as she kissed her on the forehead. Shocked by the unusual notion she glanced up at the warrior still feeling the skin on her head tingling from the touch of Jamie. Then, without thinking, Tegan slipped her arms gently around Jamie's neck and gently pulled her head down. As their lips met, Tegan felt her heart soar. Then she realized exactly what she was doing and quickly pulled away.
"I'm sorry." She blushed and a huge wave of regret fell over her as she realized she could have just thrown their friendship down the river.
"I'm not." Came the surprising answer from the woman she loved.
That kiss had been so full of emotion, that it left no doubt in Tegan's mind that Jamie felt the same way about her. That kiss wasn't a mistake but hearing Jamie admit it was something else.
"You're not." Tegan repeated, suddenly struck with a loss of words.
"No," Jamie admitted. "I've wanted to kiss you like that for... Gods, it seems like forever"
"You have?" Tegan asked, again shocked into silence.
"Yes." Jamie said deciding to take the biggest jump she had ever made in her life "I meant what I said outside. I really do love you more than anyone."
"I know you do," Tegan said still unsure of how Jamie loved her. That kiss had held the promise of things that were not friendship but she needed confirmation from Jamie that it was.
"No you don't," Jamie told her. "I love you completely and not as a friend. My feelings stopped being friendship a long time ago."
"Really?" Tegan asked.
"Really." Jamie repeated.
"You love me. You're in love with me?" Tegan asked, not wanting to believe she was hearing this. She knew this had to be a dream. She had fallen asleep while she was watching Jamie sleep and now she was dreaming about her. Jamie didn't feel this way about her.
"Yes," Jamie said. "I love you as I would love whoever held my heart and my soul."
Then Jamie took the young woman's face in her hands and gently kissed her again. "Does that convince you my love?"
Tegan looked up at her dreamily. "Yes I think it does, but can we try once more. Just to make sure?"
Without hesitation, Jamie answered the bards request.
"By the Gods that felt good." Tegan chuckled, as they broke off and she dropped her head down onto Jamie's chest. Then she laid the woman down. "Hey"
"Mmm?" Jamie said sleepily as she felt sleep calling to her.
Tegan leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you too."
A small smile etched Jamie's face as she let sleep take her. "Just remember who said it first."
Tegan sat and watched as all her dreams started to come true.
* * * * *
When Tegan opened her eyes she was surprised to find herself in the bed, knowing that it wasn't where she had fallen asleep. Then she remembered that Jamie had been sleeping in the bed and she could still smell the scent of the woman on her pillow. She turned her head and inhaled deeply. She figured it was Jamie that had put her in the bed. 'And I slept through that,' she thought to herself. She flushed when she remembered the dream she had had. It had been so real that she thought she was actually with Jamie. She had always had really vivid dreams, her grandmother had told her that was also inherited. Her mother and Jenny never had it though.
She felt her sadness return when she thought of her grandmother. She was living on the other side of Seaview and she had always been there for Tegan and she never liked Tegan's father much. Then she thought about it. "Dad stopped me from seeing Mom and Jenny, he never said anything about Grandma." She said to herself. 'Maybe I could go and see her one day.' She thought. She got out of bed and grabbed her robe off the chair as she walked towards the door.
She noticed the note on the table the minute she walked out of the bedroom.
Hey T., (it said)
Thanks for letting me borrow your bed. I put you in bed because you didn't look comfy on the sofa. I have to start counting the money from last night so I'll be down in my office. If you want anything come down to see me.
Bye
J.
She read the note again with a smile and then went to make herself a cup of tea. Then
she got changed before she grabbed her key card and left the apartment walking towards the
office at the other end of the corridor.
Chapter 9
Jamie sat recounting all the money from Fantasy Island last night. There was as usual ten pound missing. It was one of the fake ten pound notes that Jamie had planted. So either someone would come into work with red dye on them or someone would know they'd been caught stealing and they wouldn't come in. Jamie didn't know if she cared if she never saw them again as long as the stealing stopped.
Fantasy Island had made over 50% more profit last night than they usually did. That was a lot of money. 'It just proves that the shows work,' Jamie thought. She was just about to start on the money from the auction when there was a knock on the door. She looked up and saw Tegan leaning against the door frame. She looked extremely sexy stood there.
"I was wondering if you needed a hand with the counting? I did offer last night remember," Tegan said.
"Sure I'd like that," Jamie said. "I was just getting started on the auction money." Jamie motioned for Tegan to take the seat opposite her. Which she did.
"Ok at the auction the money was split into the same three groups that the auction was. So you can start with the Straight Up section. I'll get started on the on the Queens and then we can both do the Kings," Jamie said.
"Ok," Tegan said.
So Jamie handed Tegan the money bag holding the straight up cash and then took hold of the Queens bag and they quietly started counting.
* * * * *
A couple of hours later all three bags were counted and stacked up. "Well we didn't do to bad"
"I'll say," Tegan said. "Individually you did well, how much is it all together?"
"Hang on a minute." Jamie said, as she looked at the figures in front of her. "The Queens made two thousand and sixty pounds, the Straight Up made two thousand, six hundred and seventy five pounds and the Kings made one thousand, six hundred and fifty. So overall that is...." there was a slight pause as she looked over the figures again ."Five thousand, three hundred and eighty five pounds"
"Wow." Tegan said. "Is that good?"
"Yes it is." Jamie admitted, she hadn't expected it to be that much.
"So all of that is going towards the AIDS campaign." Tegan said.
"Yeah we have one of these fund-raisers every year. One of our friends contracted AIDS a couple of years ago and he made us all promise we would give some money to the campaign. So this time every year we hold a fund-raiser. Last year we held a street party that raised two thousand pounds. This is the most we've ever raised though." Jamie told her, as she put the money away in the safe and locked the door.
"So what are you going to do now?" Tegan asked, not wanting this to be over yet.
"Well I've got to go downstairs and open the door for Ollie and my Dad, because Ollie doesn't know the alarm code and he always turns up here before my father, then I have absolutely nothing to do. This afternoon is my afternoon off. Do you have anything planned?" Jamie thought it was pointless to ask because the girl hadn't even settled in yet but she asked anyway.
"Not really." Tegan admitted, she hadn't really thought about it.
"Well how about I show you around." Jamie said. "Seaview is a big town and it's easy to get lost."
Inside Tegan was jumping up and down shouting,' YES', but outwardly she remained calm." I don't want to bother you"
"It's no bother. Robin wanted to go into town again anyway," Jamie lied. "We could go home and pick him up and then we can go look around."
"Are you sure you don't mind?" Tegan asked.
"Of course I don't." Jamie said, hoping that Tegan would agree.
Tegan had already decided to go with Jamie the minute she had asked but she pretended to think about it. Finally she answered, "I'd love to"
"Great." Jamie said. "Let me give my brother a ring and make sure he still wants to go . I'll open up and then we'll be ready"
"Ok." Tegan smiled, her heart was beating so fast, she could have sworn it was going to beat right out of her chest. "I'll just go and get ready."
Then she left. Jamie picked up the phone and dialled the house. "Hello?" Came the voice on the other end.
"Hi Mom, is Robin about?" She asked.
"Yeah sure, honey. I'll get him now." Anne said, as she placed the phone on the table and then went to get Robin.
"Hello?" Robin's voice came back to her.
"Hey Robin." Jamie said.
"Hi Jamie." He said.
"Are you doing anything this afternoon?" Jamie asked.
"No," Robin said. "Why?"
"Well, I was going to show Tegan around the town and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?" Jamie asked. "What's Sophie doing?"
"Sophie is sulking around the house so I'll ask her if she wants to come," Robin said." Didn't you come home last night?"
"No I was beat so I crashed here." Jamie said.
"With Tegan?" Robin asked, with a knowing tone in his voice and Jamie felt herself flush.
"No," Jamie said. "She slept on the sofa"
"Oh," Robin said. "So are you going to pick us up?"
"Yeah me and Tegan will be there shortly," Jamie said.
"Ok," Robin said. "See you in a bit."
"Ok," Jamie said. "Bye."
"Bye." Robin said, then he put the phone down.
She picked up a bag and then grabbed the money from the auction out of the safe and dropped it into the bag. 'I can drop that off while I'm there,' she thought to herself and then she went to open up and when Ollie and her father arrived she went to get Tegan.
* * * * *
Tegan watched the scenes change as they left the city and entered the rural area of Seaview. The differences between the city and rural area were just as big now as they had always been. It was difficult to tell that, even though there was about 5 minutes of nothing between the two areas, they were still the same place.
As the arrived in rural Seaview the scene was totally different. There was a bit of distance between most of the houses, most of which were farmhouses. There was a lot more grass, something you don't see much of in the city and the biggest differences was the animals that run around free in the fields. It was a lovely sight.
As they drove in silence, with Tegan looking out of the window, Jamie thought about her feelings again. She hadn't thought about her feelings this much in as long as she could remember. She wasn't used to having the feelings and she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She did neither, she just sat there watching the road.
Then they pulled up into the drive of the house and Jamie heard Tegan gasped, so she turned to face her. "Are you ok?" she asked, with a worried frown.
"And I thought our house was big." Tegan said, looking at the three story building in front of her "Wow."
"It's not that big." Tegan said, but looking at it anyway. Her house was quite big, there was no getting away from it. Most people called it the Seaview Mansion because it was one of the biggest houses in Seaview. Her mother and father had started off with hardly nothing and they lived in a small flat above the local corner shop. Her father had bought the shop later which had blossomed since then. It had made a lot of money and then her father had bought a couple of cars and started a taxi service. It was now the biggest taxi service in the area. It was the company that Uncle Kevin drove for and that was as far as River's End. After that he had bought The Triclub, which had been the biggest success. It brought in money continuously and it was worth the money he had put into it. He had made that back three times in the first year of opening. His pride and joy, however, was the theme park he had opened two years ago. It had been named The Legends Pass, and there were already talks about building one over in the States. Her father had said he wanted to stay at home first so he was thinking about Scotland or Ireland. England already had more than one big theme park, they didn't need another one. Plus it would be a bit silly having one in Wales, England and Scotland.
Jamie had never bragged about coming from a rich family. It had taken her a while to get used to that idea herself. She also didn't brag that she was the main beneficiary to her parents fortune. Although Sophie, Robin and any others that might come along would get a substantial amount of the money she would get most because she was eldest. She tried not to let it bother her too much.
"Well I guess it is kind of big, I guess," Jamie admitted sheepishly.
"Yeah kind of." Tegan smiled, being with Jamie made her forget the rest of her problems and she felt happy. The fact that only two days ago she had been the victim of date rape seemed far away in her mind. Nothing else mattered except being with Jamie. "It's a nice house"
"Wait until you see inside." Jamie said, as she held the door open for Tegan to go enter in front of her.
As they walked through the door a human flying object came darting through the door, into the arms of Jamie. "Hey Squirt."
"Hi." Robin said.
"Hi," Jamie said. "Robin, this is Tegan. Tegan, this is my baby brother, Robin"
"I'm not a baby." Robin said, quite insulted.
Jamie and Tegan burst out laughing. Such an insulted tone coming from a six year old child was one of the funniest things they had heard coming from someone so young. "Hello Tegan."
"So, is Sophie coming with us?" Jamie asked finally calming down.
"When does Sophie miss a chance to go shopping. Duh" Robin said, chuckling slightly.
"That's true," Jamie agreed "Go and get ready and get Sophie then. I'm going to introduce Tegan to Mom."
"Ok," Robin said, and he walked into the living room.
"Come on." Jamie said, as she nudged Tegan towards the kitchen where she could smell the food cooking. "Hey Mom."
"Hey J." Anne said, as they entered the kitchen.
"Mom, I want to introduce you to Tegan. She just moved....."
"Into the flat," Anne interrupted turning her attention to Tegan "My husband told me about you yesterday. It's nice to meet you."
"It's to meet you." Tegan said, shaking the hand of Jamie's mother.
"So how did you find the first night in the apartment?" Anne asked.
"Well it was different I'll give you that," Tegan admitted. "But it felt nice."
"Good, it's a nice apartment," Anne said.
"Yeah it is." Tegan said, as Robin and Sophie came into the kitchen.
"Hi Jamie," Sophie said, then turning to Tegan she smiled. "You must be Tegan."
"Yeah." Tegan answered, it felt so weird being introduced to Jamie's family that for the first time in her life she felt shy.
"I'm Sophie," Sophie said. "Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you." Tegan said, shaking another hand.
"Are we all ready?" Jamie asked.
"Yes." Came the answer from all three.
"Well come one then." Jamie said. "See you later, Mom."
"Bye." Anne said, as the troop left the house, got into the car and drove off.
* * * * *
The next couple of hours were spent looking around the town centre and showing Tegan the sights of Seaview. Then they went back to club. John was still there and he agreed to take Sophie and Robin home with him when he went. So while Jamie was upstairs working, Tegan, Robin and Sophie were helping John tidy up the club and messing around.
Tegan enjoyed herself a lot and for the first time in a couple of weeks she actually felt happy with friends.
John watched as the kids played around for a while and then he headed upstairs to talk to Jamie. Jamie had her head in the filing cabinet when he knocked on her door.
"Hi." She said. "Come in."
"I was just wondering how it went last night?" John asked.
"We did really well. The auction itself raised five thousand, three hundred and eighty five pounds. So I added the fifteen pounds to make it up to four hundred," Jamie said. "The club made 50% more profit last night then we usually do as well."
"Excellent," John said. "And did you catch the phantom thief?"
"No," Jamie admitted. "But it did strike again last night. One of the fake notes went missing. So this morning I should know who it was. Either they won't turn up for work or they will and they will have red all over them."
"Good," John said. "I have to give you credit Jamie, you've turned this place around in the year you've been running it. We've made more gross profit this year then we had since it opened."
"Yeah, will I have that touch?" Jamie smiled.
"So you stayed with Tegan last night did you?" John said, he loved trying to wind Jamie up, she didn't always fall for it but when she did it was a sight to see.
"No actually I didn't. She made me sleep in the bed while she had the sofa. I wanted it the other way around but she wouldn't have it." Jamie said, trying her hardest not to bite.
"You wouldn't have minded if she was in the bed with you either," John said.
"Dad!" Jamie exclaimed, flushing madly.
John just started laughing. He laughed and laughed until his sides hurt even then he
couldn't stop.
Chapter 10
The next couple of days went the same way, more of less. Tegan and Jamie spent a lot of time together, hoping to get to know each other better. It didn't really work much. Tegan was still hiding the reason she was in Seaview in the first place and Jamie was still trying to come to terms with the feelings she was having.
It was a confusing time for both of them.
Two days later Jamie had to go to River's End to see the manager of the River's End branch of Phillips Taxi Service and she was going to stay with her Uncle Kevin. So Tegan wanted to speak to her before she went. She walked down the corridor to where Jamie was finishing up in her office. She knocked and waited until Jamie lifted her head and spotted her.
"Come in," Jamie said, she still couldn't believe how good-looking Tegan was. She had spent every free minute with her over the last two days and she enjoyed her company immensely. There was something about Tegan though, that Jamie couldn't put her finger on. There was a sadness about her that shouldn't have been there. When Jamie had asked if she was ok, Tegan would just say yes, she was fine.
"So you're heading to River's End today then." Tegan said, as she entered then room and sat in the chair opposite Jamie.
"Yeah. Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" She asked, regretting it again when she saw the sadness in Tegan's eyes at the question. 'Jamie, when are you going to stop asking her that?' she asked herself, mentally slapping herself.
"No, but I would like you to do something for me though," Tegan said.
"Sure what is it?" Jamie asked.
"Go to my house and ask to see my sister Jenny. Wear this necklace when you see her, she'll know I sent you. She gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday. Let her know that I am ok and give her my address and phone number." Tegan said, she needed to let Jenny know where she was and that she was ok.
"Sure I can do that. Just give me the address," Jamie said. So Tegan wrote the address and then handed it to Jamie. "So you just want me to tell Jenny that your are fine and give her your address and phone number."
"Yeah, but you'll have to get my sister out of the house before you give it to her or even tell her you know me." Tegan said. "I know it sounds like I run away from home and I don't want to tell my parents were I am but that's not it I swear."
"It's ok T. I'm not questioning you. If you want to talk about it you can. You know that." Jamie reminded her.
"I know, I just don't feel ready to talk about it Jamie. I'm glad I can count on you if I need someone to talk to," Tegan said.
"Always," Jamie said, and they looked at each other for a minute. "Ok well I have to go. Here's my mobile number, if you need anything while I'm gone you call me ok," Jamie said. "Here is the house phone number, so if you need anything, help or anything, this will get hold of my parents," she handed her a piece of paper with two phone numbers on it.
"Thanks Jamie," Tegan said.
"You're welcome," Jamie said "You look after yourself."
"You too." Tegan said, as Jamie walked Tegan back down to her apartment and when she was inside, walked down the stairs and went home to get her stuff.
* * * * *
After she got a few clothes together she put them into the saddle bags that hooked on to her bike. The Harley was her most prized possession. It had been a birthday present a year ago and she treasured it. Harley's were rare in this part of the country and everyone who owned one had the respect of anyone who knew anything about bikes. Once everything was ready she said goodbye to her mother and brother and then left.
The journey was pretty quiet from Seaview to River's End, which was a good thing because Jamie's mind was more on Tegan than it was on the road in front of her. She wanted to know what Tegan was hiding from her but she didn't want to push her. 'She'll tell you when she's ready J,' she told herself.
* * * * *
After two hours on the road Jamie pulled up in front of her Uncle Kevin's house and Kevin and Emma came out as soon as they heard the bike.
"Hello Jamie." Emma said, as she hugged her.
"Hello Aunt Emma," Jamie said. "It's nice to see you."
"It's nice to see you too." Emma said, as she released her.
"Uncle Kevin." Jamie said, as she hugged her Uncle.
"Jamie," Kevin said. "How is everyone at home?"
"They are fine." Jamie said.
"And how is the young Tegan?" Kevin asked, he had been worried about Tegan since he dropped her off. He knew he shouldn't worry about her because his family would take care of her.
"She is fine," Jamie said. "She has settled in well. There's a lot of sadness around her though."
"Well, I don't think she wanted to leave her family. She looked heartbroken when I picked her up." Kevin told her.
"You picked her up from the house, didn't you?" Jamie asked.
"Yeah I did," Kevin said. "Why?"
"She asked me to deliver a message to her sister. Do you think you could show me where it is?"
"Sure," Kevin said. "Do you want to do it now?"
"Yes, please. I'd like to get it out of the way." Jamie admitted.
"Ok, do you want to take me on that monster of yours, or do you want me to drive?" Kevin asked, hoping Jamie would take him on the bike. He absolutely loved riding the bike and he didn't get to do it very often.
So Jamie got the saddle bags off her bag and then took them into the house. "Come on, jump on." Jamie said, as she got onto the bike and shifted forward a bit so Kevin could get on behind her.
So Kevin jumped on the bike and put his helmet on and then they were on their way. Kevin directed Jamie and then he asked her to stop outside the cafe.
"I'll wait here for you. If she doesn't want her family to know who is sending the message, I better not be seen outside the house. He knows I picked her up," Kevin said.
"Are you sure?" Jamie asked.
"Yeah go on." Kevin said, so she waited until he got off the bike and then she made her way towards the house Kevin had pointed out.
She pulled up outside the house and then looked at the house. 'Our house is bigger than this,' she thought as she remembered Tegan's words at the sight of her house. She took the necklace out of her coat pocket and placed it around her neck where it could be seen. Then she walked up to the door.
She knocked and then waited until it was answered by a man that Jamie decided was Tegan's father. "Who are you?" he asked, as he looked at her and saw, a beautiful young woman standing in front of him.
"I was wondering if I could see Jenny?" Jamie asked.
"Why do you want to see her?" Thomas asked.
"I really don't think that is any of your business." Jamie told him.
He looked at her for a minute, then relented and went to get his daughter. Jenny came to the door a couple of seconds later. She frowned when she saw a woman in her door that she didn't recognize.
"Who are you?" She asked, then she spotted the necklace and recognized that straight away.
"My name is Jamie, I need to speak to you alone and away from the house." Jamie said.
"How do I know I can trust you?" Jenny asked.
"Look, I know about this necklace, ok and I know you gave it to her on her sixteenth birthday. I can't say any more than that," Jamie said. "Will you please come with me?"
"Ok, let me just grab my coat." Jenny said, she was gone for a couple of seconds then she was back. When they were out of the garden she turned to Jamie. "Where is my sister?"
"Don't worry about T. she's fine." Jamie said.
"T.?" Jenny said.
"Tegan," Jamie said.
"Oh yeah sorry," Jenny said.
"Well Tegan is living in an apartment above the club that my father owns. She asked me to come and see you when I was here and to give you the address and phone number and this letter. She told me to wear the necklace because she said you would recognize it." Jamie explained to her.
"Thank God she's ok," Jenny said. "I've been worried about her. How is she really?"
"She's fine. She seems to have settled in well. She spends a lot of time with my family and then she spends her evenings helping me out downstairs in the bar." Jamie said.
"She's not old enough to work in a bar," Jenny said.
"I never said she worked in the bar. She helps me out, that isn't working and it's a gay bar so the age limit for it is 16." Jamie told her.
"She lives above a gay bar?" Jenny asked.
"Yeah," Jamie said. "Anyway I have to go, so give your sister a ring whenever you can. She misses you."
"I miss her too," Jenny said. "Thank you for coming to see me."
"You're welcome," Jamie said, as she got back on the bike. "I have an idea. My Uncle is the taxi driver who picked Tegan up, that is how she came to our club. Let me have that address a minute." Jenny handed it over and Jamie took a pen out of her coat pocket and then she wrote her Uncle's address on the back. "If you want Tegan to write back to you, I'll have her send them to this address. You can pick them up from there."
"Thank you, Jamie," Jenny said. "I don't know how to thank you."
"You don't have too. I'm doing this for Tegan," Jamie said.
"I'm glad she has someone to look after her. She needs it," Jenny said.
"A girl that young shouldn't be on her own," Jamie said.
"No she shouldn't." Jenny agreed totally.
"Then why is she?" Jamie asked, then regretted it, she didn't want to betray Tegan's trust, she wanted Tegan to be the one to tell her. "Forget I asked, it's Tegan's job to tell me."
"You don't know?" Jenny asked.
"No, she said she'll tell me in her own time and I have to accept that. I don't want to know unless she tells me," Jamie said.
"Ok," Jenny said.
"Well I've got to go. It was nice to meet you." Jamie said.
"Nice to meet you too." Jenny said.
Jamie started to the bike and then she drove away. Picking Kevin up on the way back to the house.
Later that day she went to see the manager of the taxi service owned by her father. They wanted to buy a couple more cars and she had to approve it. That was why she was there. It took all of five minutes.
She was in bed early that night and she set off for home after lunch the following day.
* * * * *
Back in Seaview Tegan was having dinner with the Phillips. She had been so used to having dinner with Jamie, who was always at the club around dinner time and it was lonely without her.
Jamie's family treated Tegan like a member of the family and she liked that. She was treated more like a family member by these people who were practically strangers than she was by her own family.
Sophie was still moping around the house and not looking forward to having to face Shane in two days time, in school was making it worse.
Robin was really starting to enjoy having Tegan's company and Tegan enjoyed Robin's. They spent all afternoon talking for the last two days and Tegan enjoyed the company. It gave her something to do.
They were just finishing their food when they heard the bike outside the house. Robin got up and bolted for the door. Tegan had to remind herself not to do the same thing.
"Hey Robin." Jamie said, as she got off her bike and Robin jumped into her arms.
"Hi" Robin said.
"How was your day?" Jamie asked.
"It was quiet" Robin told her "I spent the afternoon talking to Tegan on the Internet"
"On my computer?" Jamie said.
"Yeah," Robin said. "You don't mind do you?"
"No. I'm glad Tegan had someone keeping her company." Jamie admitted.
"She did, Jamie." Robin said.
"Jamie, you just missed food" Anne said as she greeted her daughter at the door.
"That's ok, I had food," Jamie said, "I stopped at Mixed Blessings on the way in" as she walked into the house, she was surprised to see Tegan there.
"Hi, Jamie." Tegan said.
"Hi T." Jamie said. "I need to talk to you later ok"
"Ok." Tegan said.
They sat in the living room for the rest of that night talking about what had been happening that day and what they had planned for tomorrow. Jamie, Robin and Tegan decided to go shopping again. It was their last free day before they went back to school and Robin wanted to make the most of it. Sophie reluctantly agreed to go as well.
* * * * *
Later that night Jamie got her car out and then she drove Tegan back to the club.
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Tegan asked, as they drove quietly.
"Well I spoke to your sister. She misses you, you know. I gave her your address and phone number just like you asked. I also arranged for you to send any mail for her to my Uncle Kevin's. I gave her the address and she will pop down there every so often and check. She said she'll phone as soon as she can," Jamie told her.
"Thank you Jamie," Tegan said. "You don't know how much this means to me."
As Jamie brought them to a stop outside the club, she reached up and took the necklace off and handed it back to the owner.
"Thanks," Tegan said again. "Are you going to come in or are you going home?"
"I'm going to head home. I'm pretty tired and I'm not really in the mood for much else," Jamie said.
"Ok," Tegan said. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," Jamie said, and she watched as Tegan walked into the club. Then she pulled away and went home.
* * * * *
As Jamie walked in John was waiting in the living room. "Jamie, I forgot to tell you earlier we caught the thief thanks to your fake notes."
"You did?" Jamie asked.
"Yeah," John said. "It was Sheila."
"Really?" Jamie said, surprised "I never thought it would be her."
"Nobody did, but it was," John said.
"Well I'm glad they caught her, but right now I am going to bed. I'm shattered." Jamie told him.
"Well say goodnight to your brother on your way up," John said. "and your mother's in the kitchen."
"Ok" Jamie said, so she went out to the kitchen, said goodnight to her mother
and then headed upstairs to say goodnight to her brother before heading to bed.
Chapter 11
The following morning Tegan was up early again. She wasn't a early bird and this getting up early wasn't good for her. She made herself a cup of tea and sat down to write her diary.
Jamie came back last night, we had a nice time with her family until she brought me home. She told me she spoke to Jenny and arranged for me to send letters to Jenny via her Uncle. Jenny will pick them up when there are letters and that way then Dad will not know. I'll be glad when I can see my family again, I miss them.
It was a pretty quiet day. I missed having Jamie around to talk to and I was lonely for the first time since I actually moved in. It was strange. Well we are going shopping again today and we are hoping to try and cheer up Sophie she is really miserable, she misses her boyfriend, Shane. I feel sorry and I can't say I know how she feels, well maybe I do. I know how I felt when Jamie was gone, is that how Sophie has been feeling since Shane broke up with her. It's pretty hard.
Anyway going shopping now. It should be fun.
She reread the entry again, 'It's not much but it'll do', she thought to herself as she closed the book and then started to get changed and waited for Jamie to pick her up.
* * * * *
Jamie and the rest of the troop picked up Tegan shortly after eleven and she was already waiting downstairs.
They looked around the town centre for the next couple of hours with Robin, Jamie and Tegan trying to cheer Sophie up. She was still depressed about Shane dumping her. Although she refused to admit Shane was the reason for bad mood. Their theory was proved right, however, when they bumped into Shane on their way back to the car.
"Hi." He said, as he stopped in front of them.
"Hello, Shane." Jamie and Robin said.
"Hello, Sophie." Shane said, nervously.
"Hello." Sophie said, trying not to sound to bitter but his lovely brown eyes and his smooth blond hair caused her to fail miserably.
"Sophie, I was wondering if I could talk to you?" Shane asked, he had wanted to speak to Sophie for a while but he wasn't sure he should now.
"You are talking to me, Shane" Sophie said sarcastically.
"Alone." Shane sighed, getting a raised eyebrow from Jamie.
"Ok," Sophie said, turning to Jamie. "I'll meet you in the car."
"You sure?" Jamie asked.
"Yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes." Sophie said.
"Ok," Jamie said "Come on troop." With that Jamie, Tegan and Robin left them alone.
"What do you want, Shane?" Sophie asked, when they were out of sight.
"I just wanted to talk to you." Shane said, he had regretted breaking up with Sophie since the minute he had done it. Now he had to put that into words. "I'm sorry" was all he could say.
"What for?" Sophie asked, not daring to hope it was for breaking up with her.
"I'm sorry for breaking up with you." He admitted. "I miss you Soph."
"You do?" Sophie asked.
"Yeah I do. More than I thought possible." Shane told her honestly.
Sophie's brow contracted as she remembered something "If you missed me so much, how were you out on a date the other day?"
"I wasn't on a date the other day." Shane told her, wondering where she heard such as a crazy story. "Who told you I was?"
"Emma Stewart told me." Sophie told him.
"Well she's lying. I haven't seen anyone since we broke up." Shane swore, he had told Emma that he was going on a date to get away from her. Emma had been hitting on him for a long time and when she thought he was single she would practically throw herself at him. He couldn't handle that so he had lied, but would Sophie understand that? There was only one way to find out. He told her the truth.
"And that's the truth?" Sophie asked, finally.
"I swear," Shane said. "This might sound crazy to you, Sophie, but I love you."
"You do?" Sophie asked, at a loss for anything else to say. She knew that she loved Shane but to have those feelings returned was something she hadn't experienced before. It was wonderful.
"Yes, and if we were older, I would ask you to marry me." Shane admitted.
"Really?" Sophie asked, totally dumbfounded. Now what could she do. She had been so mad at him since he had broken up with her and she had wanted to speak her mind when they spoke next and he had go and say something sweet like that.
"Yes." Shane said.
"I love you, too." Sophie finally admitted.
"You do?" Now it was Shane's turn to be shocked, he hadn't expected that at all.
"Yes." Sophie said, as she put her arms around Shane's neck and pulled his lips down to meet hers.
* * * * *
"They're kissing, they're kissing." Robin came running towards Jamie and Tegan. He had been sent to make sure Sophie was ok.
"Well I think we can assume that Sophie will be in a better mood when she comes back to the car." Jamie chuckled as they got into the car. "Right remember when she comes back, we didn't see anything and we don't know anything".
"Ok." Robin and Tegan said, together.
"So Tegan, why did you move to Seaview?" Robin asked, he had spent a while getting to know Tegan over the last couple of afternoons but there were still things he wanted to know.
"I just wanted to get away from my family for a while." Tegan lied, she felt awkward lying to Jamie and Robin but she couldn't tell them the truth. She had made friends with them and she didn't want to lose them.
"How come?" Robin asked. Coming from a close family, he couldn't understand why someone would want to 'get away' from their family.
As Tegan searched for an answer to that, Jamie answered for her "Robin not all families are as close as ours. Remember when Sophie's friend Tarryn came to stay with us for a while because she wanted to get away from the problems in her house?"
"Yeah," Robin remembered all to well.. That had caused a argument between Sophie and Jamie. "That's the one that liked you more than Sophie."
Tegan watched as Jamie blushed deeply. Her tanned skin couldn't even hide it.
"Yeah, you told Sophie that she liked you a bit too much and either she left or you would." Robin said, totally unaware of what he was doing to his sister.
Unfortunately, for Jamie, she also remembered it all too clearly. That had been some of the worst few months of her life. Nobody had suspected for a minute that Tarryn was gay. She had always been popular and always seemed to have a boy on her arm.
When she had come to stay with them, Tarryn decided she would make Jamie, at least, aware of her sexuality. She had wanted Jamie bad for a while and now there was nothing to stop her from having the gorgeous woman. She never imagined for a minute that Jamie wouldn't be attracted to her. So she planned the seduction carefully. It almost worked but in the end she had made a complete fool of herself.
Jamie had never been attracted to Tarryn in anyway. It had taken her by surprise when her sister's friend had started flirting with her. It had started off as gentle, friendly flirting at first, complimenting her on her clothes, her hair, how lovely she was. Then came the touches. First it was a hand on her arm when she was talking to her, then a hand on her thigh when she thought no-one was looking.
It had all come to a head when Sophie and Jamie had had a massive argument about it. Sophie accused Jamie of trying to steal her best friend. Later that night, Jamie and Sophie had gone upstairs to finish the argument without disturbing the rest of the family, only to find Tarryn naked and in Jamie's bed. Jamie politely told her to get changed and get out. The day after she told Sophie and her parents that either Tarryn left or she would. Tarryn had been gone by tea time.
'Definitely not a good time.' Jamie remembered ."Yeah well you win some, you lose some," Jamie told her little brother.
"Why didn't you like her, Jamie?" Robin asked, he was so used to Jamie being open about her sexuality that he didn't know she was embarrassed to talk about it in front of Tegan.
"I liked her as a friend," Jamie admitted. "Just not like that. Besides I was with Becky at the time."
'Tegan cut it out,' Tegan told herself as she felt a sharp pang of jealously at the mention of Jamie being with another woman. 'She has a right to a life before you. God she most probably doesn't even like you.'
"Oh that's right," Robin said, then he turned to Tegan. "So whose side of the fence do you play on?"
Tegan looked shocked. "Excuse me?"
Jamie looked sharply at her brother. "Robin that is none of our business."
"I only want to know if she's gay or not," Robin said innocently. "Are you?" he turned to Tegan again, hoping she would answer.
Tegan didn't know what to say. She wanted to admit she was, so Jamie wouldn't feel so uncomfortable around her when it came to discussing her love life but Jenny was the only other person alive that knew she was gay. She didn't know if she could just 'come out' to anyone else yet.
Jamie noticed her hesitation in answering the question and she felt a tiny piece of hope kindle in her. 'What if she is gay?' Jamie thought. 'What if she was attracted to me?'
In the end Tegan decided to just say it. She was in a place where it was accepted. She had nothing to be ashamed of. "Actually I....."
Just then the car door burst opening and in jumped a happy Sophie "Home James" Sophie said, as she shut the door "I have a date to get ready for"
"We didn't see anything and we don't know anything." Robin chuckled, as Sophie made herself comfortable.
"Huh." Sophie frowned.
Tegan and Robin were trying not to laugh. Jamie just shook her head and started the car. She had a feeling that Tegan was about to say she was attracted to girls but she couldn't be sure. Jamie wouldn't risk trying to find out herself. She didn't want Tegan to feel she was being pressured into it if it wasn't something she wanted.
* * * * *
The journey back to the house was full of Sophie going on about Shane and their conversation in town. She was over the moon. When they arrived Sophie sensed there was something wrong with her sister so she decided to go and get changed." Jamie can I ask for you assistance in getting something to wear for tonight?"
"Sure." Jamie said, and she followed her sister out of the room and up the stairs. "So what's up?"
"What makes you think anything is up?" Sophie asked innocently, as she started rummaging through her closet for something to wear.
"You usually come to me after you are dressed not before. You wanted to get me away from everyone. So what's up?" Jamie asked again.
"I was wondering what was up with you actually?" Sophie said. "But I think I know"
"There's nothing wrong with me" Jamie said, she really hated how Sophie could see straight through her, even when she had on her bravest face.
"Jamie, you know you can't lie to me." Sophie scolded her older sister. "You're falling for Tegan aren't you?"
"No." Jamie said, a little to quickly.
Sophie looked at Jamie again for a few seconds then she said. "You are falling for her."
"What ever gives you that idea?" Jamie asked.
"Well for starters you decided to quickly that you weren't. You've been acting weird all day. Your eyes light up every time you look at her" Sophie said, she had been watching her sister all day, she had observed every look Jamie had sent Tegan's way and she also noticed the looks Tegan had sent Jamie's way.
"Really?" Jamie asked, she had tried so hard not to let her feeling show. She didn't want Tegan to know how she felt about her.
"Yes," Sophie said. "So is she straight or what?"
"As far as I know she is." Jamie said, she really didn't want the lecture she knew was coming from her younger sister.
"You haven't asked her?" Sophie asked in disbelief. Jamie wasn't someone who waited for anything to come to her, usually she went out and she took it. This was so unlike her.
"It's not that easy. I know she doesn't mind being around gays, she comes to the club every night but I don't know how she would react if I asked her that," Jamie admitted. "At the moment Sophie I'm just happy to be her friend ok. I think she needs that more than she needs a lover anyway. There's something about her that I feel and it's stopping me from acting the way I normally would. I need to get to know her probably first"
"Well that's the first time I've ever heard you say something like that," Sophie said. "Are you sure you're ok?"
"I'm fine." Jamie said, actually she felt better than she had in a while. It was nice to have someone to talk to about Tegan. She had kept everything in for the last week and she knew that wasn't good.
* * * * *
Downstairs Tegan was talking to Anne and Robin. She felt so at home here and if she admitted it to herself she really didn't want to go home. She would be leaving all of her friends in this family to go back to the family that kicked her out when she needed them most. It was at that point Tegan decided she wanted to tell Jamie what had happened to her. She needed to tell Jamie. She was fed up with lying about why she was there and she needed the support of someone else. She wasn't strong enough to go through this alone. She needed someone there with her.
Her only worry now was how would Jamie take it? Would she treat her fine, like she already was or would she turn around and treat her like her own father had treated her. She felt closer to Jamie in the week she had known her, than she had felt closer to any of her friends and in her heart she knew that Jamie wouldn't turn her away.
"Robin, go upstairs and tell your sister that it is rude to leave her guests." Anne said, as she noticed the silence that started to fill the room.
"Actually Mrs. Phillips do you think it would be ok for me to go up and see Jamie? I need to talk to her privately." Tegan asked.
"Sure let Robin take you up." Anne said.
So Robin took Tegan by the hand and lead her up the stairs, "Jamie." He shouted when he reached the top of the stairs. "Mom said it's rude to leave your guests."
Jamie walked out of Sophie's room and was met by Robin and Tegan. "Hey I'm sorry I had to leave you, but Sophie wanted some help picking out an outfit for her date tonight."
"That's ok." Tegan said. "I was wondering if I could talk to you privately?"
"Uh... yeah sure," Jamie said. "Come up to my apartment."
So Jamie and Tegan walked up the stairs to the apartment. When they were inside Jamie asked Tegan if she wanted a drink and Tegan agreed to a cup of tea.
Tegan was trying to calm herself down and get her courage up for what she was about to tell Jamie when the front page of the daily newspaper caught her eye and she froze.
There was a picture of Scott Tyler on the front. The headline read 'Local Soccer Captain arrested for Rape'. She was still frozen in position staring at the paper when Jamie came in and saw her.
"T. are you ok?" She asked, knowing it was a stupid question, she could see by the white panicked face and glazed eyes that Tegan was anything but fine. So she quickly put down the cups of tea in her hands and walked up behind Tegan. She gently put her hands on her shoulders and she was shocked beyond believe when Tegan screamed, ran to the corner of the room and curled into a ball whimpering.
Anne and Sophie who had heard Tegan's scream came running up the stairs into the room "What happened?" Anne asked, coming up behind Jamie who was still stood watching the now shaking Tegan.
"I don't know," Jamie admitted. "Go back downstairs. I'll find out now."
"Are you sure?" Anne asked.
"Yeah, if I need anything I'll give you a shout, I promise," Jamie told her, then she nodded towards the door. "Go on."
"Ok, we'll be down stairs if you want us." Anne said, as she ushered Sophie
out of the room, closing the door behind them and Jamie heard it lock.
Chapter 12
Jamie cautiously made her way over to Tegan, making sure she was in the girl's line of sight. She didn't want to frighten her again. As she made her way closer she could hear that Tegan was mumbling to herself. Jamie couldn't quite make it all out, except that Tegan kept using the word 'stop.' Jamie was at a loss, she didn't know what was wrong with Tegan, or what had upset her but she was determined to find out what.
"Tegan?" Jamie said quietly, as not to startle her and she noticed that Tegan tried to make herself as small as possible. "Tegan." Jamie said again, hoping Tegan would at least look at her. She could tell that Tegan was extremely frightened and although she didn't know what had frightened her she knew that the best thing to do was to make sure Tegan recognized her voice before she attempted to touch her again. "T. it's just me, Jamie." she continued to move closer and when she felt she was close enough she stopped, wanting so much to take Tegan into her arms to protect her from whatever was doing this to her, but she couldn't.
When Tegan had felt the hands on her shoulders, she just saw Scott leering at her and she screamed. She tried to run away from him and when she couldn't she curled into a little ball to make it difficult for him to take her again. Every detail of that night came back to her and she relived every painful moment. The pain in her face when he had slapped her, the panic she felt when he had started touching her, the fear that grip her heart when she struggled and he slapped her again. She remembered pleading with him to stop. She had only wanted to please her parents. She hadn't wanted this at all. And she remembered something she hadn't remember then and that was the pain of him entering her. There was no passion there only pain and at that moment she wanted to die.
She heard a voice coming through her mumbling and she knew it was a friendly voice but she couldn't recognize it, which made her curl up even more. "No please leave me alone," she said. "Please not again. I can't..... no.... not again." she knew she was mumbling and she didn't care.
"T. come on it's only Jamie." Jamie said, holding herself back as much as she could.
'Jamie?' Tegan thought "Jamie?" she looked up into the lovely blue eyes, and she struggled to her knees and crawled to Jamie where she collapsed, crying, into her arms.
Jamie held onto her with all the strength she had. Her heart was pounding and her head hurt but none of that mattered to her. The only thing that mattered was that Tegan was here and she was in incredible pain. She just held her as she cried. Before she realized it, she was singing to Tegan. Something her mother had always done to her, Sophie and Robin when they were scared.
The sound of Jamie's voice seemed to calm Tegan down a bit and gradually her crying calmed down "Tegan I'm going to pick you up and carry you over the sofa. Is that ok?" she asked, standing up with Tegan in her arms when she felt Tegan nod against her chest.
Tegan held Jamie in a death grip. She didn't want to let go of her, she was the source of her relief and she thought if she let go of that Scott would attack her again.
Jamie carried Tegan over to the sofa and sat down placing Tegan in her lap and just holding her for a while.
"I'm sorry." Tegan said, her voice was horse when she finally spoke.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Jamie told her. "And if you want to talk about it, I'm here for you Tegan. I swear."
"It was what I wanted to talk to you about actually." She sniffed. "I thought I could handle it, but then I saw the picture and I just lost it."
"What picture?" Jamie asked.
"The front page of the paper." Tegan told her.
Jamie could see the headline and the picture from where she was, 'Oh god no', she thought to herself. 'Don't tell me that happened to... oh sweet Jesus no.'
"I don't want you to hate me." Tegan said, tightening her hold on Jamie, if that was possible.
"I could never hate you T." Jamie told her, meaning every word.
So Tegan took a deep breath and started talking. "The night before I left, I went out on a date with the soccer captain. My parents would never accept me being gay so I never attempted to tell them. I just went out with the boys I thought they would approve of. Well I knew Scott didn't want anything long term so I agreed. We went to the cinema and I realized, when he started drinking, he was a jerk. Then when we were ready to go home. He took me to Murphy's Point even though I told him I wanted to go home," she was crying again now. It felt good to talk about it though. "He raped me."
Jamie's hands had clenched with the anger she was feeling, she wanted to kill the son of a bitch. "Ssh T.", Jamie said. "I've got you now. How could you ever think I could hate you for that? It wasn't your fault"
"It must have been," Tegan said, sadly. "Scott said I made him want me." She sobbed into the shoulder of the woman holding her. "Even my father punished me by sending me away."
Jamie lifted Tegan away from her and lifted her head up so she could look into her eyes. "No you listen to me." She said, with a tone that made Tegan listen ."It was not your fault. You did nothing to encourage him. He was just a bastard who hurt you for his own pleasure. Nobody deserves that especially you T. It's not your fault that he abused you to make himself feel powerful. Don't you even think that and don't let anyone tell you that. Don't let one bad experience turn you away from the chance at love or happiness" she told her. 'You're one to talk, Jamie Phillips,' she told herself.
"So you don't hate me?" Tegan asked, her voice holding a tinge of happiness that she was trying not to show.
"Of course I don't". Jamie assured her, pulling Tegan to her and holding her
* * * * *
Jamie and Tegan sat there for about an hour. Jamie because she wanted to allow Tegan to feel safe and comfortable in her arms. Tegan because she couldn't be bothered to move.
"You never think something like this could happen to you." Tegan said, later on. "It is the sort of thing that happens on the news or in the papers. It happens to people you don't know. Not you"
"Nothing's possible until it happens to you." Jamie told her. "I've been thinking Tegan. Why did your father send you away?"
"He was worried I might be pregnant. I was unconscious when Scott penetrated me so I don't know whether he wore protection or not." Tegan told her.
"So that's why you tensed up at the auction when I mentioned Scott to Darren." Jamie said, she had wondered about that since that night but hadn't had the chance to ask.
Tegan nodded. The nightmare of what happened didn't seem so bad being in Jamie's arms. It also felt better now she had talked and cried about it. The last couple of days had happened so quick that she hadn't really had a chance to cry about what happened, she had needed to get it out of her system and thanks to Jamie she had.
"What are you going to do if you are?" Jamie asked.
"I don't know. My father wants me to have the baby and put it up for adoption, but I don't know if I can do that." Tegan admitted.
"Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Jamie said.
"We?" Tegan repeated.
"Um... well... yeah if you want anyone there with you, I'm your girl." Jamie told her.
"Thank you, Jamie." Tegan said, as she wrapped her arms around Jamie. "I'm glad I don't have to go through this alone."
"You're not alone Tegan." Jamie said. "I'm sorry for what happened to you T."
"I am too." Tegan said, resting her head on Jamie's chest, her heart feeling lighter now she had gotten that of her chest.