ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - MORNING

The Roman column marches down the road. From a tree overlooking the road, Xena and Gabrielle watch. They move along the branches, hopping from tree to tree to follow the soldiers.

XENA

They're moving fast.

GABRIELLE

Looks like the slaves are all in good
shape.  They're all men, aren't they?

Xena leaps up and presses her body up to the next branch, shading her eyes to look. She drops back down.

XENA

Yeah. My guess is they're bound
for the gladiator pits.

GABRIELLE

How can you tell?

XENA

They're all the right age, and the right size.
Either that, or the emperor is putting
together a set of matching litter bearers.

GABRIELLE

Great. We'd better ambush them before
they get to the main road. We're close
to Rome, and we'll never get to
Beowulf if they reach the city.

XENA

Already thought of that.

Gabrielle walks along a branch. She gets to the end, and it sways under her. Xena reaches out to grab Gabrielle. Gabrielle grins, and makes the branch bend more, then she crouches and lets the branch launch her up. She tumbles in mid air, and successfully lands on a branch of the next tree. She looks back at Xena, and strikes a triumphant pose.

Xena follows, letting the branch throw her into a fancy triple flip with a half twist. She lands next to Gabrielle and smirks.

GABRIELLE

Show off.

XENA

Look who's talking.

They continue on after the soldiers.

GABRIELLE

At least you can't call me
Little Klutz anymore.

XENA

I never called you that.

(beat)

Did I?

Gabrielle clears her throat.

XENA

(Cont’d)

Must have been after that
time you tripped over the pig.

GABRIELLE

What pig?

XENA

Maybe it was a goat….

Gabrielle jumps to the next tree, shaking her head.

CUT TO:

EXT. MOUNTAIN PASS - LATE AFTERNOON

The Romans approach a narrow pass. The rock walls rise above them on either side, but the soldiers seem unconcerned. High on the top of the pass, Xena and Gabrielle wait, huge pile of rocks ready next to them.

GABRIELLE

Hope this works.
I'm tired of moving rocks.

(looking)

Ready?

Xena watches the column.

XENA

They'll have to go single file through
that gap. We'll wait for the first
column to go through, then push.

GABRIELLE

Uh huh. So that only leaves
twenty soldiers for us to fight.

XENA

Right.

Gabrielle looks at Xena, who seems as unconcerned as the soldiers below.

GABRIELLE

You're in that mood again, aren't you?

XENA

What mood?

GABRIELLE

That fighting mood. You've
got that look in your eye.

XENA

Gabrielle, don't be ridiculous. We've got
to stop those Romans, and free the
slaves. That's all I'm thinking about.

Xena watches the soldiers. She measures angles, and adjust a few rocks. She sticks her thumb up and peers at it, checking the slope. She chuckles.

GABRIELLE

Uh huh. I know you, Xena.
You just like beating up Romans.

Xena pretends not to hear. She crawls closer to the edge, and puts her hands on the rocks.

XENA

Get ready.

Gabrielle scoots up behind Xena, and puts her shoulder against the rocks.

XENA

(Cont’d)

One... Two....

A horn sounds. Both Gabrielle and Xena drop flat on the ground in reflex.

GABRIELLE

What was that?

XENA

Trouble.

GABRIELLE

(under her breath)

Oh, that's different.

Xena crawls over to the other edge of the pass and peers over. Gabrielle joins her. They both look down, then at each other in consternation.

XENA

So much for that plan. One wrong roll
of the rocks and we've got a problem.

Gabrielle looks down. On the road leading away from the path spreads a huge number of columns. It is the entire Roman army, heading home.

GABRIELLE

Now what? Xena, we'll never
get him out of that crowd!

CUT TO:

EXT. ROMAN PLAIN - JUST OUTSIDE THE CITY OF ROME - NIGHT

The army is encamped on the plain. Their tents, torches, and campfire dot the spare ground. Sentries patrol the perimeter, appearing efficient and alert.

In the scrub on the fringe of the army, Xena and Gabrielle are spending the night sheltered under a bush. It's cramped, has prickles, and they can't make a fire.

However, they are seated on their folded sleeping furs together, and Xena has her arms wrapped around Gabrielle. They do not appear all that uncomfortable.

GABRIELLE

Can't we try to get in there, tonight?

Xena feels Gabrielle's forehead.

XENA

That wasn't a serious question, was it?
Gabrielle, look at that army out there.
We don't even know where they put the captives.

GABRIELLE

(sighing)

I know. I just hate the thought of sneaking
into Rome. That place gives me the creeps.

(beat)

Always has.

Xena studies the army.

XENA

Why don't you stay out here? I'll sneak in
and infiltrate the gladiators, and get him out.

Gabrielle feels Xena's forehead.

GABRIELLE

That wasn't a serious question was it?
Xena, you can't just walk in there.
You think they won't recognize you?

(thinking)

But I bet I can.

Xena looks at Gabrielle. Her eyebrows go up.

XENA

You?

GABRIELLE

Yeah. I can pose as a Roman noble, from
the provinces. They won't recognize me.

(smiling)

And you can be my slave.

XENA

Oh I can, huh?

GABRIELLE

Yeah. They'd never connect
you with being a slave.

Gabrielle takes hold of Xena's earlobe, and gives it a tug.

XENA

Thanks, but no thanks.

GABRIELLE

(seriously)

Xena, think about it. If we don't have to
fight to get into the city, we've got more
time to find Beowulf and get him out
without getting all of us killed.

Xena watches the army for a long moment. She finally sighs and looks at Gabrielle.

XENA

I think you just want to finally
get to be the master.

Gabrielle points innocently at herself.

GABRIELLE

Me? It's just a logical plan, Xena!

Xena looks back out at the army. She looks again at Gabrielle. Gabrielle smiles.

XENA

All right.

(beat)

But no collars.

Gabrielle chuckles wickedly.

CUT TO:

EXT. GATES OF ROME - MORNING

The Roman army marches through the gates. They kick up a dust storm that almost obscures the walls. The guards at the gate salute as the soldiers pass, and the populace standing inside cheers. The soldiers raise their spears to acknowledge the accolade.

As the last soldier passes inside, the guards start to close the gates. They stop, however, when they hear the sound of a horse approaching.

Out of the clouds of dust, a golden mare appears. On her back is a woman in the flowing robes of a patrician, with sedate jewels at her throat.  At the side of the horse, a slave is chained, dressed in plain fighting gear and shackled by the wrists to the horse's saddle.  Xena is not wearing any weapons, and she had her hair pulled back into a braid.

XENA

Pah. I forgot armies smelled that bad.

GABRIELLE

Shh. What did we decide
my name was again?

XENA

You can use Phantasma.

GABRIELLE

Nah. She's got a bad reputation.

Xena and Gabrielle approach the gate. The guards watch them. Gabrielle pulls Argo II to a halt just outside the arches. 

GUARD CAPTAIN

What is your business in Rome?

Gabrielle looks him right in the eye.

GABRIELLE

I am Tellus Astorias, from Lissae.
I have come here to bring my
slave to the great Coliseum.

Xena makes a sound something between a cough and a sneeze at the name.

GUARD CAPTAIN

To do what? Clean it?

Xena growls low under her breath. Gabrielle pats her on the head comfortingly.

GABRIELLE

To be a gladiator, of course.
She's the best.

The guards look Xena over. Xena does her best to look innocuous. The guards shrug at each other and laugh.

GUARD CAPTAIN

It's your drachmas, lady.

The guards open the gates, and gesture Xena and Gabrielle forward with exaggerated politeness. Gabrielle smiles sweetly at them as she rides past.

GABRIELLE

Why, thank you.
Such nice boys you are.

Gabrielle waves at the guards. The guards respond to her charm and wave back. They clear the gates, and the guards close the gates after them, with a loud, ominous crash.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO