XENITE MEMORIAL: JENBOB
Amazon Elder and Bard
FEBRUARY 21, 1968 – JUNE 12, 2023
Read Lunacy’s Reviews of Jenbob’s Fanfic | Read Eulogy
EULOGY FOR JENBOB
Written by: Bat Morda
Once upon a time, many, many years ago, when the Xenaverse was young and the fandom was new and naïve, I was invited to join an online, women-only (we later learned your mileage may vary on that), queer-friendly mailing list. I met so many remarkable women. I discovered many incredibly talented writers there. I tried my hand at writing. I made friends. One friend I made was named Jennifer. But the mailing list was lousy with Jennifers, so we insisted that they use nicknames so we could tell them apart – thus Jenbob was born.
We were online friends by the time of the second Xena convention in Burbank, and (naturally) I invited her to stay at my house. A person I’d never met. I person I don’t think I’d ever spoken to on the phone. Full disclosure: I invited a bunch of people to stay at my house that weekend because at the time I lived about three minutes from the convention hotel. No, probably not the wisest choice, but I lucked out because everyone who stayed was awesome (Also, my girlfriend – pre-Heather – was not at all happy about the situation or anything involving the Xena fandom which is in part why we broke up less than a year later – but I digress).
In the years that followed, there were many Xena conventions, Xenafests, Bat-B-Ques, big groups to theme parks and the beach, Las Vegas, loud raucous dinners in restaurants, and more shenanigans than there is space and time to write (and to protect the guilty, should probably remain unwritten).
As an aside, I feel the need to point out, gratefully, that today’s ubiquitous cell phone hadn’t been invented yet. Yeah, people had cameras, and I have photos – but dude, I can’t even imagine the resulting carnage if we all had iPhones back then. But this story isn’t about all the others, and I’m getting ahead of myself. This is about Jenbob, and it begins with that fateful trip in 1998, with the first time Jenbob and I ever said “hi” to each other in person when I picked her up at LAX.
The story continues one night in a hotel room. I am not a drinker, never have been – but a lot of Xena fans are, especially when cutting loose at a convention after hours. To wit: Jenbob and Dallas Deb (Dahak) had been doing exactly that… for quite a while. There were probably 10 of us there in the room hanging out, laughing and talking while we were getting ready to go bowling. Deb is holding a shot glass of something, vodka maybe, and she’s holding the glass at arm’s length away from her body as she leans over the AC unit to adjust it. In under two seconds, Jen plucks the shot glass from Deb’s fingers, downs the shot, and puts the shot glass back in between Deb’s fingers. Deb stands up, looks at her (now) empty shot glass, and in her Texas drawl says, “Damn, I spilt my drink.” We had all witnessed Jen’s actions, and the room promptly lost it, much to Deb’s confusion. Laughing seemed to come so readily in those days.
Another significant story from the ’98 Convention is the infamous car ride with Steph (Pyrate Ska). I’d secured a meeting room at the hotel to hold a party, and the event consisted of lots of joyful people hanging out after convention hours. Steph was a local Xenite who had the unenvious task of editing my stories for me (she offered, because she wanted it to seem like English is my first language – which it is, but you wouldn’t know it from the mediocrity I throw down on the page. *editor’s note: Bat’s writing is absolutely not mediocre, she’s just grammar-challenged). Steph knew my girlfriend at the time, and would agree that to say she could be scary was an understatement. No kidding, said girlfriend wasn’t into Xena, thought my “little Xena friends” were nerds, and was unreceptive to anything about the fandom (like letting a bunch of people from the internet stay in our house for the weekend for a convention). Now that I’ve set the stage, on with the story.
So, we had this party at the hotel and everyone was warned that if there was a problem, DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, CALL BAT’S HOUSE AND WAKE UP HER GIRLFRIEND. Anyway, Steph and I are leaving the party in the dead of night after having shuttled some people back and forth. In the back of my car, I’ve got some gifts people have given me, a big bowl of M&Ms, and other random party detritus. We are turning the corner to my street when we simultaneously look at each other and scream JENBOB!!! We’d left her at the hotel. I whipped that car around so fast, M&Ms and Pyrates were flying everywhere. I’m speeding back to the hotel like I’m in a Fast and Furious movie because I’m now terrified by the thought of Jenbob (understandably) calling the house to ask “Where the fuck are you?” We ran into the hotel only to find Jenbob sitting there with Amazon Julie (Zon). Jen just laughed at me and said “I’m not new – of course I didn’t call the house.”
In fact, Zon had graciously offered to let Jenbob stay in her hotel room that night. I don’t know who was more disappointed at our return, Zon or Jenbob. The result was the birth of another Xena romance. They were together for 25 years.
To stay that Jenbob was a story teller was an understatement. Yes, she was a brilliant writer, but the woman could *tell* a story. In fact, you might try to derail her during a 45 minute recounting of what happened with this guy that one time; she’d go down a fifteen minute side story addressing that thing you asked about, then say “as I was saying,” and go right back to her original anecdote. She could do this after no drinks or 10, it did not matter.
Jenbob had this amazing job that made her travel. As I understand it, her company taught various regulations to other companies so they could do business and be compliant. A two- or three-day seminar would be held at a hotel somewhere, and companies in the vicinity would send their people to take the class. Jenbob would be on the road for weeks at a time, often traveling through California. She’d fly in, rent a car, stay with Heather and me for a few days, travel to various cities to lecture at her conferences, come back for a couple of days, then go to another city. For many years we saw her several times a year, and Heather and I loved her visits. We’d hang out, play games, watch movies, and have these long crazy conversations.
Sometime, she’d just spend some vacation time with us. She asked me once, “Can I stay at your place and just have you ignore me for a few days so I can sit around in my pajamas and write, or play video games, or whatever?” My reply (of course) was “Mostly. I can mostly ignore you but we’ll have to go to dinner at least twice, and have one other interaction where we hang out, go to Disneyland, or something.” There is this extra comfy level of friendship where you can just inhabit the same space and not have to talk or anything and it wasn’t weird. There is this expression, “What is understood doesn’t need to be discussed.”
I would say that Jenbob and I understood and related to each other in a way that (gratefully) not a lot of other people could relate to us. We both had hard things in our background, our childhoods, and while we took very different paths in how we coped and addressed our issues, there was a fundamental place of understanding she held for me that I hope she knew I also held for her. A conversation about the technical accuracies of Spike being able to drive a car midday in Buffy the Vampire Slayer always had an undertone of “I get you man, you’re not alone.” Another quality I am grateful for is that she and I could have two completely different conversations simultaneously.
As a writer, Jenbob made me crazy. I remember after reading a story by her for the first time, I thought to myself “Wow.” I didn’t feel jealous, I just felt grateful that someone could string words together like that. She was incredibly smart, and she had this amazing science background (and a tattoo of a gecko or something she studied in grad school). But her writing, while it was intelligent, was still incredibly relatable – soulful even. I could see and feel her characters; her stories just leapt off the page for me. Like anyone who had read her stories, I always wanted more of them. Her writing was like an iceberg. There was so much of it under the surface from a place that she didn’t share, and this secretly infuriated me.
She would write a lot. She would rewrite more. She would never finish enough. I’ve watched her meticulously compose pages and pages of handwritten outlines and in my head, I’m thinking “for fuck’s sake less writey-writey and more typey-typey.” I wanted to see finished stuff, I wanted to read more of her characters, her dialogue, see more of those images in my head. I would get so frustrated by her standards. I don’t need “perfect,” I’ve seen season five of Xena for chrissakes, I just want more stories.
In a way, needing to accept her process also helped me accept mine. We could not be more different in how we write, which really made me think about life and how we all arrive at the same place from so many different paths. We were kind of like Felix and Oscar, her mediculous planning and me typing whatever pops into my head. But in the end, art is art. Her finished works that are out there are indeed singular and precious gems. Rare, wonderful, reflecting and refracting the light of the brilliant soul who wrote them. Getting a compliment from her about my work was a big deal. Like, if she thought I was authentic, then maybe I was a little less of a poser.
Besides being smart and articulate she had a wickedly sharp sense of humor while also incredibly kind. In the 25 plus years I’ve known her, I don’t think we’ve ever had a harsh word or disagreement. I know that we each recognized something in the other that we would have done differently were it us, but never have I felt a moment’s judgement from this woman and that is a rare thing indeed. I’m certainly at an age now where I can appreciate and recognize the time and love that someone has invested in me. While we never talked on the phone often, every time we did catch up it was like no time had passed. She gave the best hugs. I’m so thankful now at all the tears I spilled laughing so hard I cried at the batshit crazy things she’d say.
To say that I’ll “miss” Jenbob is only part of the equation. Absolutely I will miss her, miss her painfully, desperately – but in missing someone we also remember them. I won’t watch an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and not remember the dance she did to the theme song. I’ll remember her anytime I hear someone tell a long-winded story, or say something brilliantly sarcastic. I’ll remember her when our tribe gets together – we all will. She will probably spark memories in me daily. In that sense, she isn’t really going anywhere – she is going everywhere.
Immortality is yours my friend. Even so, I am going to miss you, you adorable asshole.
Bat Morda,
North Hollywood
June 2023
READ JENBOB’S FANFIC & LUNACY’S REVIEWS
Lunacy reviewed Jen’s fanfic and you can read it below
- The Third Wheel
Although this story marks Jenbob’s debut on the Web as a XWP fan fiction bard, her works are well-known among aficionados of alt. fiction who got to read this MAGNIFICENT story when it was first offered through some of the XWP mailing lists back in January 1997. To put it simply, THE THIRD WHEEL is among the best pieces of fan fiction I have ever read and the first in at least two novels (keep those fingers crossed for MORE >:) that you will *NOT* want to miss. The novel picks up the story of Xena and Gabrielle as they come upon an attack on a small village. It is while fighting the raiders that Xena encounters an old acquaintance – a one-time friend and a former lieutenant in her army who now perhaps has more in common with the Warrior Princess than they ever did before. Rekindling an old friendship, the two are soon making plans to fight the raiders, speaking of times gone by and admitting truths they cannot admit to others – all the while a
certain bard is feeling more and more left out and increasingly…jealous. Exceedingly well-written and edited, featuring rich characterizations, and a well-conceived plot full of action, humor, and emotion, this story marks the beginning of one of the most tender, passionate and romantic depictions of the Xena/Gabrielle relationship you will ever encounter in fan fiction. THE THIRD WHEEL simply is a MUST for anyone who enjoys a well told story. It is a DELIGHT to read and carries my HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION!! [Do not miss the sequel A Fine Line] - A Fine Line
Lunacy’s Review: Back in November 1997 Jenbob released her first XWP story THE THIRD WHEEL. Those of us who were fortunate enough to preview that story
before its release recognized immediately that the Xenaverse had gained an incredible new talent in Jenbob. With the release of this sequel, A FINE LINE, Jenbob solidifies her position as one of the top talents writing fan fiction today. Anyone who knows me (and Jenbob in particular 😉 will tell you that I have been absolutely DESPERATE for this story to be made available so my fellow fan fic fanatics could share in the experience that is A FINE LINE. The story picks up where THE THIRD WHEEL left off, chronicling Xena and Gabrielle’s deepening relationship after their emotional admission of love in the first story. Still physically recovering from the awful beating she received just weeks before, Xena resumes her life on the road with the bard only to suggest soon after that they go visit the Amazons. It will be an opportunity for the two to explore amidst the relative safety of friends, the feelings and passions they have finally allowed into their relationship and for the warrior in particular to try to deal with the reality of a love the likes of which she’s never known before. Always in the back of Xena’s mind, however, a terrible fear lurks – a fear ironically made worse by accepting the love of the gentle bard, knowing all the while what it would do to her to loose that love and what a fine line indeed there is between the hero Gabrielle loves and the savage warlord who once shed the blood of thousands. With some of the most passionate and MEMORABLE scenes you will ever read, this novel is storytelling at it’s absolute BEST. I’m often asked which Xena fan fiction story is my favorite – a question I have difficulty answering because there are SO many incredible works out there with more being written every day. However, I can tell you without a moment’s hesitation, that if I were to pick a favorite, A FINE LINE would be among the strongest contenders. One VERY important ,
**NOTE** here – this story features EXTREME (and I’m serious here folks) – EXTREME VIOLENCE – including SEXUAL VIOLENCE. Everyone who I know who has read it has been deeply moved by the story AND quite shaken by the violence. The violence is integral to the plot – HOWEVER, it is very much concentrated in
one particular section. Although the experience will be different, you CAN skip this specific section and still follow the story without too much difficulty. IF you wish to read the story but are disturbed by violence and would like to know how to avoid the section or would like more details before making your decision feel free to contact me at lunacy@dc.seflin.org OR consider e-mailing Jenbob herself – her e-mail addy is included at the beginning of the novel. A FINE LINE is an extraordinary experience folks.
It carries my HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION!!!!!! – 230 pgs., 1/13/98 - Devi: A Missing Scene