Posted January 24th, 2001 on most of the Xenaverse lists.

Dear Friends,

Its been too long since we last spoke. So much has been happening lately and I guess we've been a bit overwhelmed. I'm sorry that you've been out of the loop -- it's not been on purpose.

So, where to begin... I'm not sure where we left off, so I'll go back to Thanksgiving. Tonya and I spent Thanksgiving in Boston with my parents. We were eating vegetarian at the time, but decided to 'go with the flow' on Turkey day... :) We ate well and left the dinner table 'stupid full'.

Tonya and I thoroughly enjoyed the trip, caught up on our relaxation, and visited with my family [my parents had to borrow a couple of those large fold-out banquet tables to fit us all].

We came back to Colorado after that with warm thoughts of the East coast, and some time between Thanksgiving and Christmas decided that we'd move to Boston after the New Year holiday.

We spent Christmas with Tonya's family in Denver. We like to celebrate Christmas with gift giving, but this year found that there wasn't anything we wanted. We felt like 'old people' in that the pleasure of each other's company was enough to make us happy -- no offense to the chronologically impaired :) We got tickets to 'The Scarlet Pimpernel' for Tonya, I, and Tonya's parents. We had a nice evening out, dinner, fancy hotel, the works. "A good time was had by all".

Denver decided to celebrate the New Year in style with fireworks and such. We got a hotel room down-town with a view of the celebrations. It was really nice.

Well, now on to the medical stuff... Tonya was on a clinical trial for a type of medecine called angiogenesis inhibitors. It's an experimental medicine to prohibit the growth of new cancer cells by disallowing the formation of new blood vessels to the cancer mass.

While we had high hopes for this medicine, it did not work as planned. The cancer progressed and showed growth in both her lungs and liver. We were devastated by the news.

We had exhausted all possible treatments in Colorado and within the local doctor's expertise. Boston, as described by our Oncologist, is a mecca of clinical trials and seemed to be the best place for us to go in our search for a cure. We were in the process of finding a new doctor in the Boston area that could help us. The presiding doctor in the University Hospital experimental medicine department had just come from one of the premier Boston hospitals and was hepling us in our cause.

We wanted to celbrate Christmas and New Years with Tonya's family since we'd just had Thanksgiving with my family. Unfortunately, things don't always go to plan. Tonya had been prescribed oxygen some time early December and felt immensly better. The cancer had been depriving her of the ability to absorb oxygen, so the refined O2 eased her breathing. She slept better and felt better.

Right after New Years, Tonya didn't feel so well and we made a trip to the emergency room. Tonya had been on 2 liters per minute [oxygen flow] and this kept her at a normal healthy oxygen saturation. She was on 5 liters/minute for the drive to the emergency room. After a bunch of tests [oh boy, more tests] and a visit from Tonya's Oncologist, Tonya was diagnosed with bronchial pneumonia/bronchitis. She was admitted to the cancer ward and given antibiotics and a bunch more meds to control the coughing, pain, and breathing problems. She ended up needing around 8 liters/minute O2. The doctors figured that it would take around 48-72 hours to get her condition under control and then we'd be back to 2 l/m and back home.

After a few days her condition had improved slightly, but she wasn't back to where she was before New Years. They did more tests and came back with some more news. The pulmonologist and radiologist said that there was as much cancer as lung tissue. They said that Tonya's body couldn't compensate for the oxygen deprivation any longer and that it was extremely unlikely that her oxygen needs would only increase. It was their medical opinion that Tonya would die from respiratory failure within a few days to a few weeks.

Tonya had been in the hospital for a week and was desperate to get out. She had always said that she didn't want to die in a hospital. The staff at Memorial hospital is very nice and professional [except for that one nurse that didn't pay attention to her allergy list and almost gave Tonya Heparin -- it gives her a nasty all-body rash].

They gave us the information about hospice care and arranged a ambulance ride to Tonya's parents. Tonya didn't want to go back to our house in Elbert as it was too far from medical care and we'd already decided to move to Boston, so she had mentally put it behind her.

My parents had flown into town to help. Since we'd decided to move, they helped by arranging the movers and preparing the house for sale. My parents are the best [I love you Mum and Dad]. I can't believe how much overtime they put into our house. Also, I'd like to state for the record that Tonya and I have the best neighbors in history. Bob and Deb have done all that we've asked and more -- they are amazing!

So, where we are today... We are staying with her parents. Tonya is under hospice care. Her condition has worsened. She has been uncomfortable for a while so the doctor presribed a morphine IV drip. Her oxygen needs have risen to 16 l/m. She is not in pain. We are trying to keep her comfortable. She hasn't been conscious for over a day now.

We love you all. I don't know what else to say. :(

This is a small addendum from Tonya & Clive's friend Kristina:

As Clive said, Tonya is now at the end of her journey. She is surrounded by her family & is as comfortable as possible right now. They have both so appreciated all of the love & support you all have shown them throughout this difficult 17 months. We know that you all would like to help, but at this point the most we can ask for is prayers & warm thoughts sent her way to help ease her passing & to comfort those she leaves behind. We will keep you updated if & when her time comes - we expect this within hours to days. Thank you all again.

Tonya died the next day, January 25, 2001

A note from Tonya's Mother

Tonya passed away yesterday morning,
surrounded by family and friends.
If anyone asks she requested donations be made
to the American Cancer Society or
Denver Dumb Friend's League
2080 S. Quebec
Denver Co. 80231-3298.

The Memorial Service will be Tuesday, Jan. 30 - at 10:00am
at Horan & McConaty 3201 S. Parker Rd, Aurora.
Always,
Gina