Many thanks to Barbara Davies for the transcript
TOP TEN TV - SEX BOMBS
transcript by Barbara Davies
Click here to go to Cathy's Xenaville site for some amazing screengrabs
[Throughout, there were lots of clips from Xena, too many to detail
(though someone else might want to give it a try <g>). Some used
ironically, some used to illustrate a point.]
Jerry Hall: OK, pay attention. Let's start with a lesson in Greek
Mythology. With a gladiatorial goddess whose breastplate had that little
TR: She's a tough, sexy bitch.
LL: She's a bitch but likeable.
ROC: She was strong, intelligent, but she was also beautiful.
TR: If you ask a guy, it's totally fantasy time.
Narr: The reality behind the fantasy is Lucy Lawless from New Zealand, a
teenage mum who became a beauty queen.
Narr: In 1990 she was a TV fitness instructor when she auditioned for a
new American action series.
RT: I went down to New Zealand and met Lucy that night. And she was... I
thought she was crazy.
LL: Unbeknownst to him I was going through a marriage breakdown and I
was sitting blubbing in the corner at some party.
RT: She showed up at dinner and was like a real tight schoolmarm. I
went: Oh she is crazy.
LL: He turned to the producer and said: Are you kidding me? This is the
girl we're going to base the series on? It's going to be a complete
Narr: But on screen, Lawless was flawless.
Narr: She was in fact a butch woman in a pagan never never land, seeking
redemption from her wicked past, with the help of her sensitive
ROC: Gabrielle saw in Xena everything that she thought she could be and
decided that she was going to be her best friend for the rest of Xena's
LL: A big chick and a little chick. Righting wrongs and singing songs.
LL: I went out of my way to make Xena as male as possible. She's the
kind of woman you can sit down and have a beer with. Doesn't talk that
much. She's not gonna say: Does my ass look big in this?
Narr: No. But a couple of other things do.
ROC: She was a brute[??]. She was the hardcore woman who could take on
10 men at a time.
LL: I'll tell you a secret though. The armbands were kind of Xena
because they make you look like you've got biceps, and I have none...
and I never did.
Narr: Xena's favorite plaything was a large ring. She called it her
LL: Oh. Loved the chakram. Because you just throw and it does all the
work and then you catch it.
Narr: And you thought this was just a kid's show?
TR: Kids. You see they go: Oh, a kids' show. Great. And then the next
episode, Xena's grabbing a guy's head and... lopping it off.
LL: It really was not made for children.
Narr: No., There was a whole other market in mind.
LL: They like a tough girl in leather. They might want to go to bed with
them but they don't want to take them home to mother, you know. They
don't want to have to come home to them every night. Too scary.
ROC: I think everyone likes a woman in leather. <laughs>
TR: It's true. There is that certain fantasy. Also, you know, the whip
fantasy. She's got a whip.
Narr: Xena liked to fight hard. She also liked to play hard.
RT: Xena had a real affinity towards bad boys.
TR: She likes the big tough warrior types. She behaves like a man. She
finds a good-looking guy. She gets laid. She's done. Kicks him out. I
got work to do. I've got cities to save. Get out. Go.
Narr: The genitals were all wrong for a start.
RT: When we started Xena the one directive we were given is: this is not
a lesbian show.
Narr: So they were careful to avoid any lesbian innuendo.
ROC: What else do you do when you have no one else travelling with you?
Someone has to scrub your back.
LL: I always liked the fact that she might have been or she might not
TR: Joxer isn't ever sure if they're gay. He's always wondering, you
know. There's always little looks that they give each other and...
Looking around like: Are they gay? Are they not gay?
RT: I'd say they sexually experimented.
Narr: They teased the audience and each other.
LL: The lesbian community really seized Xena and took it as their own.
[clip of the Marching Xenas]
Narr: Who are these people?
TR: Fantasy and Science Fiction fans are generally of a pretty secluded
nature... you know, to put it kindly.
Male Xena Fan: I wish I had a friend that was sort of as dedicated as
Gabrielle is. Or as Xena is.
LL: Oh yeah. There's a lot of fans. <laughs > We shouldn't even talk
Male Xena fan: If either of them played their cards right, they could
LL: <Presses lips together and hums in a monotone.>
Narr: Sadly, Xena's unique blend of sapphic promise and extreme violence
is no more. The final show was filmed last year.
LL: For me it came as a relief. Because it was exhausting.
TR: It was nice to go out as one of the no.1 shows, you know. It felt
ROC: We wanted to go out with a bang, and I think we did.
[clip of the 'water transfer' scene from Fin]
Narr: Yes. That sort of bang. The show climaxed with Xena at last
confirming her sexual orientation.
LL: I couldn't believe it. <raises hands> I came home and went: She's
Narr: But their love affair was cut short. Literally.
[clip of Xena getting stuck with arrows and beheaded from Fin]
Narr: Beheaded... and just as things were getting interesting.
LL: It was a cool show. I'm very proud of it.
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