The characters of Xena and Gabrielle are the property of MCA/Universal. The story is all mine and it contains a graphic depiction of lesbian sex. If you are under 18 or this type of material offends you, then please stop reading and find something else to do. ;)
For the most incredible warrior I ever met - "I will love you as long as I'll live "
AND I THINK OF HER...
Darkbard Fantasies 12/4/96
I sit here staring into the licking flames of a dying fire. And I think of her... Just as I always am. I have trouble concentrating. I have trouble breathing. She is my lifeblood. My sun and moon. The stars overhead.
She is only a few feet away and my sole worry is whether she can hear my heart pounding in the flickering darkness. I will the fire to blaze; to roar; to stay burning deep into the night. Because I need time.
I want her. I need to be with her tonight but I don't want to seem over anxious. I don't know how to approach her. Can I keep my hands from shaking long enough to wrap my arms around her? Pull her to me and kiss her with a passion born of pure desire? To show her what lies buried so deep in my soul? My loins burn... and I think of her.
I long to show her this is about love, not lust, though a flame burns between us. I long to touch her, to whisper her name, to make her shudder. I want tonight to be different. Yet, I want it to be the same perfection we have shared before. I lose control. And I think of her....
I know she is over there waiting for me. I feel her burning stare on my back. My leather feels hot. I sense the stiff silence lying heavy in the air. Neither of us knows what to do. Which one of us will make the first move? My ears perk to an almost inaudible sound. She sighs. And I turn to her.
My breath catches in my throat as I see her eyes tearing into mine. She looks at me with a hunger born of an expectation that took too long to fulfill. I wonder if I can satisfy that need. Am I worthy of her? Goddess knows, I am willing to give my soul to Hades just for an opportunity to try. I attempt to convey a warning that I may go too far.
I stand and start removing my armor. My gaze never leaves her. I long to touch her, to run straight into her waiting arms but I try to remain composed. I don't want her to think me greedy. Or over zealous. I want her to know she is my everything and not seem selfish. But I am. I want so much for her. For me. I want to give her all that life has to offer and more. I curse my Gods every morning for making me a mere mortal and unable to realize her hopes and dreams in one perfect day. I despise the waiting. The dragging of every hour just to prove myself. I want her to have it all now. I force myself to take it slow. That tomorrow is another day to give. By the Gods, that is so very hard to do! So, I think of her...always
I stand before her and surrender my body. I slowly remove my sword and armaments. It is my way of laying down my life for her. I want her to watch and see what I am willing to give up for her at any given moment. I shed my gauntlets, then slowly pull off my boots. I watch her watching me. A dance of desire. I feel her very being pull me to her. Can she feel my heart drawing closer?
My leathers removed, I walk deliberately towards her. She looks as if she can see inside my soul. Inside my thoughts. Does she feel the heat coursing through my blood and loins? Does she detect the musky scent of yearning on my skin? Does she know what I want to do to her? How I want to prove that I would die for her?
I bend down and she touches my face with such soft hands. I am embarrassed to reciprocate - my warriors hands are rough and dry. I can only respond with tenderness. I hope she understands. I reach out with burning lips and kiss her palm. I move upwards trailing a light wetness up her forearm to her breast. I want to grab hold of them but force myself to be slow and easy. Relax. We have all night.
I feel helpless to demonstrate my love in a way she will truly understand. I can only go with motions and feelings that have worked through the ages. I long to try something new - something never done before. I tried words but I am no bard. I listen to her in hopes of learning but again, nothing virgin comes along. Somehow, she will have to understand. Perhaps my body can do things my mind cannot.
I trail kisses up her neck to the hollow of her throat. I can give her the strength of my love. I can give her the power of my passion. The room is so quiet I can hear stars twinkling outside. I can only think of her...
My lips move to touch with hers. They are so hot! Her lips part so slightly - just enough for our tongues to meet. I feel myself melt into her. I have never felt anything so soft and so giving in my life. She causes my muscles to ache. My soul to shiver. Her back arches into my hips. I feel moisture mix between us. I let out a silent moan.
I love this woman. She does so much for me. I feel inadequate to please her. To repay her. She has erased all my anger. Wiped away my fears. Filled a void of loneliness I didn't know existed. She entered my life on one ordinary day and turned me upside down. I don't know why. I only know I should quit searching for unknown answers. But, I am logical and organized. I am methodical. Or I was. With endless thoughts of wanting, I only think of her...
I feel her move underneath me again. I know what she wants. What *I* want. I lay my hands gently on her stomach and gaze deep into her eyes. She reaches soft fingers out to touch my already hard nipples. I tremble at her touch. I focus my mind. I tell her "slow." It's all I can say. I am unable to say more. Not even 'I love you.'
I want to touch her breasts again. To feel the smooth creamy skin. To take them into my mouth and run tiny circles over them with my tongue. I want to squeeze them with my hands. To hold them and admire them. She knows. She asks me to remove her blouse. Am I too obvious or can she read my mind? It doesn't matter. She gives willingly what I desire. What I need.
And I think of her... I have pleasured her/shared myself with her before. I want each time to be better than the last but this craving deep inside me takes over. I am overcome by passion. My hungry mouth bends down and encompasses one breast. I bite at her nipples causing her to let out a silent groan. I see her mouth open but no sound comes out. I see her eyes roll back. Her hands grab at the sheets. I put one leg over top of hers. I can feel my own wetness against her thigh. It is warm
My own needs are overpowering. I want to take her now. Gentleness be damned! I want to take hold of her. To move my face between her legs and suck her. I want my fingers deep inside her. I want to hear her scream my name. I want her touching me. Making me come. I can only think of her...
I dig to my inner depths and force myself to go slow. It's what she wants and that is paramount. Lovemaking is to pleasure your partner. Not to take. That is deceitful. And, my love is pure. I find myself touching her in ways I would like to be touched. I am not like myself. She brings out goodness and light. I want her to know that. I want to show her she is a goddess in my eyes. Because she is.
My mouth moves over her stomach. Ever lower. I can feel soft shudders inside her. Her heart is pounding. Her breath more ragged. My hands continue to make love to her breasts. My tongue is on a quest of it's own. I want to taste her. To relish in her juices. I want her to satisfy my hunger.
Dreadfully slow I move. Her body has betrayed her once. When my hand barely touched her thigh. I bit my lip to contain a small smile. I don't want her to come again just yet. I want her to feel me. All of me. I think only of her...
I run my own breasts between her legs. Spreading her juices on them. My nipples become harder still and I move in and out of her with them. I hear her moan. I moan. This woman is so sexy. So incredible. I cannot believe she is mine. What have I done to deserve her? Quit thinking, I tell myself. Just make love to her.
My body moves lower until my head is between her legs. My hair brushes the tops of her legs. I can smell her musky scent. My senses are overwhelmed by it. I literally want to dive in. Control, I mutter to myself, control. My hands move up and down her sides. They eventually come to rest at the top of her thighs.
Her legs spread apart for me. Her hips buck forward. I know what she is asking. I gaze up her body and see her writhing. Wanting. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is partially open. I resist the urge to travel back up and kiss her lips again. But she is ready. And so am I. And I think of her, only her...
My hands slowly part her lower lips exposing a soft pink bud. I lower my mouth to her. I kiss the insides of both thighs first, letting the cool air run across her. Her body trembles. I smile. I know that feeling. The anticipation. I run my tongue in small circles, licking and nipping. Finally, I take her in.
She is so wet! I wonder if I can take it all? Ah, a warrior's challenge! I let out a moan at the first touch. She tastes better than I remembered. I lap at her softness. I run my tongue slowly up and down. She is so wonderful. So delectable. A queen's feast before me. I relish all of her. And I think of her...
Her skin feels hot. Sweaty. Or is that mine? My eyes are closed but my senses can tell she is making tiny fists in an attempt to hold on. I run my tongue harder over her swollen sex. I delve it deep inside and then run the intense heat back over her. She moans continuously. Unable to stop. I don't want her to, either. I love to hear her. She is so close now. I feel the bursting flame inside her. I know to put her over, she asks for but one thing. For me to be inside her when it happens.
It could all be over in an instant but how could I resist her? I love this woman more than my own life. I want nothing more than to be as one with her. The thought alone makes my own release inevitable. The continuous rubbing against her leg only speeds it up. I could probably come if she were only to whisper my name. Yes, I could. I will...
I run my tongue over her a few more times. Then I start to nibble on her with my teeth. At the same time I take two fingers and slowly run circles around her opening. Getting them very wet. Teasing her really. Her hips move to take them without my help. I can feel the tiny shudders of her orgasm. I move my fingers in slow and deep. So slow. I take her between my teeth while still flicking my tongue. I move in and out of her only three times when she tightens around me and screams my name. My own body succumbs and I come with her...
I lay my head on her warm thigh. My heart still pounding. My face still flush. My body sweaty from the force, the shear desire. This woman beneath me has given me so much. I find it hard to believe sometimes that she is mine. That she is so willing. I want her to have it all. I close my eyes. I reach out and take her hand in mine.
And then I drift off to sleep. And I think of her....
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