General Disclaimer: Xena, Gab and Argo belong to Renaissance and whoever else has a stake in the series… I doubt any of these companies will want their part out of this story however, so I consider myself quite safe…
Violence: No. This is the first story I have ever written that has absolutely no violence in it… Though Xena did have to resist the urge to clobber Gabrielle over the head with a frying pan from time to time and a certain FF writer is still running to avoid the fury of an enraged Warrior Princess… But no limbs will be removed in this piece of Fan Fiction, if that’s what you’re worried about.
No, there’s no subtext, no, there’s no demon children or vicious Persian Gods, and no, there’s is absolutely no logic in this story.
Hope you like it in spite of all of this
What if...
by Annemaart
The sun was edging down slowly, casting long shadows across the small path that lead in
the direction of Epidavros. A blond haired woman, apparently deep in thought, silently
paced beside a dark haired warrior, who was holding onto the reins of a palomino
mare.
"Hey Xena?"
The warrior sighed, knowing what was about to come. After a day like today, which had been
quite uneventful, except for the usual raiding parties and warlords, her companion usually
thought up strange theories that the warrior understood nothing about.
"You know, I was thinking"
Yup, there it was.
"What if we all weren’t real?"
“Huh?” Xena gave her friend a weird look. “What are you talking
about?”
“Well… What if… what if somebody just made us up? What if we’re not
actually alive, but we’re just toys in somebody’s mind, just imagination?”
Xena shook her head. “How do you come up with these things?” She sighed in
exasperation.
“Well, come on, it’s possible isn’t it?”
The warrior raised an eyebrow, then poked Gabrielle in the shoulder. “You feel pretty
real to me…”
Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “Of course I do… But… Just think of it as a
dream world. When you dream, everything seems real as well, and you think that you’re
awake, but your actually not… Do you know what I mean?”
“Hmmm” The warrior muttered, frowning her brows… “So you’re
saying we’re actually asleep?”
Gabrielle sighed. “Not quite, but you’re getting closer. What I’m saying is
somebody else is dreaming about us… making up stories that we’re in…That
kind of thing.”
“Right” Xena murmured. “So you think there’s somebody out there who
created us, and we’re not actually in Greece, but in some kind of imaginary world
here, that this person put us in?”
Gabrielle smiled happily. “Exactly!”
“Gabrielle, what kind of nut would do a thing like that! What’s the fun in
making up stories about some ex warlord and her sidekick bard?”
“Hey, I write fiction from time to time too, you know. It’s not that
impossible.”
“But what would they write about us?”
Gabrielle thought about this for a moment… “Well, anything really… They
could write about us just walking down a road, like now. Having this
discussion.”
Xena gave her friend an odd look. “You have to be kidding…”
“No, I’m not… Why wouldn’t they be? It’s an interesting subject
to write about…”
“You call your strange theories interesting?”
The bard gave her friend a foul look. “They are not strange theories!” A sigh as
she threw up her hands. “You are just so not philosophically orientated.”
“You just make up stuff that can’t possible be real. The world being round,
things coming from something smaller, people coming from the sea, and now you’re
saying there is actually somebody out there that’s writing stories about you and me?
Come on Gabrielle, get real… Why don’t you just say there’s hundreds of
people out there doing that? Or a thousand?”
Gabrielle thought about this for a moment. “Yeah, why not! That would be
amazing…”
Xena sighed and shook her head. “I can’t believe this.” She muttered softly
to herself.
“No, really, think about it… What if there’s thousands of these people out
there, all writing about us… What if..” Gabrielle’s eyes shimmered.
“What if we’re not the only Xena and Gabrielle? What if there’s hundreds
off us, all in these different stories?”
Xena moved closer and put a hand on the bard’s forehead. “Are you sure you're
feeling all right? Not some kind of fever that makes you delusional or
something?”
Gabrielle swept her friend’s hand aside in annoyance. “Xena! You came up with it
you know.”
“I meant it as a joke!” the warrior cried in exasperation. “You can’t
possibly think I could seriously suggest something like this!”
“Why not?”
“Because… because it’s absurd!” Xena managed. “What you are
saying, is that there’s hundreds, maybe even thousands of people that spend their
days and nights writing or thinking up stories about you and me and that there’s
actually somebody sitting down behind a piece of parchment right now, writing down a story
about the two of us having this ridiculous discussion…” The warrior fell silent,
gazing at her partner.
Gabrielle was quiet for a moment, then looked at her friend and grinned. “That is
kinda idiotic, isn’t it?”
Xena took a deep breath, then gazed up at the heavens respectfully and muttered a
“Thank the gods.”
Gabrielle chuckled then shook her head at herself. “Sometimes my imagination just
runs off with me a bit. It’s a bard thing.”
The warrior just shook her head. “You owe me for this one, you know?”
“Owe you?”
“Yeah, you bored me senseless with crazy talk for a quarter of a candle mark…
You owe me.”
“I’ll cook tonight.”
Xena glared at her friend. “Gabrielle, you always cook.”
“So?”
“Huh?”
“Do you want to cook?”
Xena blinked. “No, but…”
“So don’t complain when I’m offering.” The bard stated.
The warrior looked at her friend for a moment, but Gabrielle just stared back innocently.
Xena grumbled something inaudible, and shook her head. “Gabrielle?”
“Yeah?”
“If there is actually somebody out there who thought this conversation up, and we
ever meet this person… Make sure I kill 'm, OK?”
Gabrielle chuckled. “You bet.”
“Good” Xena grumbled, as she pulled Argo over to an open space and started to
set up camp as the sun slowly slipped below the horizon.
The End