"Waaaahh!"

"It’ll grow back," she muttered half-heartedly for at least the hundredth time.

"When?" His lower lip poked out. "Can you tell me when?" The male squirrel burst into body-wracking sobs again. "Wahhh. Wahahahahaha!"

"Not soon enough for me. I’m never walking behind you," she grimaced, "or in front of you again." She plopped down next to her bald mate, wondering if female humans understood that Nair was simply antifreeze in disguise. She cringed when her beady black gaze drifted upward toward his head. As white human males had discovered, you really had to have a good head to be completely bald. Otherwise you just look stupid.

He buried his face in his arms and continued to wail. "Eternity! I’m going to spend eternity looking like a naked mole rat." Oh, the humiliation!

"It could be worse," the female offered helpfully, kicking her feet out in front of her as she leaned back against their bed. They were safely hidden away from Flea in their nest.

"How? How could it be worse?" He sniffed pathetically.

"I dunno." She shrugged and smiled toothily. "I was lying to try and make you feel better."

Whoever said that females were the more nurturing sex was clearly a whipped male squirrel trying to get laid. There could be no other explanation. "Waahahahahaahaha!"

"Oh, stop. At least you’re sort of alive. I thought you were a goner when you tipped over face first into the antifreeze. Your bottle cap chest plate made you sink right to the bottom."

He wiped his tears away on a leaf. "You saved me?" His eyes were round with wonderment. "You? You’re nothing but a fat lazy sloth! You wouldn’t save me!"

True, she conceded mentally, surprised by her mate’s moment of insight. She had just let the antifreeze puddle soak into the ground before poking him awake with a stick.

"I’m the master of this couple from now on. All the future plans will be mine," he declared boldly.

The female just smiled placidly. She would tell him later that the leaf he’d just used to wipe his cheeks wasn’t their normal toweling, but a poison oak leaf she’d collected for their war against Flea. Much later. Okay, never.

Just then the male grabbed the leaf and vigorously rubbed it against his butt. "Dang, being bald is itchy!"

"I’m sure it is." She nodded gleefully. Call me fat … "In fact, I’d imagine that when the wind brushes against delicate body parts that have never really seen the light of day, it makes them tingle."

"Tingle?" Nothing was really tingling now that he’d relieved his itch, but he liked the idea of tingling. Unconsciously, he crossed his legs.

"Oh, yes." She nodded. "I’ll bet delicate places not usually exposed to the elements would tingle as the cool air brushed over them, caressing them."

The male squirmed a little. "Del– " He paused and gulped, his mouth going a little dry. "Delicate places?" Caressing?

The female nodded again, her voice taking on that sensual squirrel quality that called to her mate on a subconscious, primal level. "Very delicate, highly sensitive places." She glanced around casually. "Can’t you just feel the light breeze whistling through this place?"

The male instantly rubbed the leaf between his legs using quick, furious motions to relieve the insidious itch that came out of nowhere. "You’re right! I can feel it!"

"No. But you will later."

"What?" Something was vaguely unsettling about seeing that sweet cherub-like smile on his wife’s face.

"Oh, nothing important."

***

Leigh laughed, trying to hang onto all the little stuffed bears that threatened to tumble from her arms. "Good God, RJ, I can’t hold them all!" And true to her word, one of the bears plopped onto the cement beneath her sneakers.

The air was filled with the sound of laughing children, obnoxious teenagers, and game barkers. Better still was the delicious aroma of sugar, salt and grease that could only be found at a carnival. RJ was hard-pressed to think of a better way to spend an afternoon.

"Hey, watch it." RJ shot a little boy a grumpy look as she bent to retrieve the bear he’d almost stepped on. "Well then, lass, let me see …" she looked around at the various booths and stands to see if any of the vendors might have a bag for the twenty or so small, bedraggled-looking brown teddy bears she’d won for Leigh while playing games on the fairway. One stand had neon pink bags covered with pictures of some boy band hanging from its canvas roof. RJ cringed; she had planned on offering to carry the bears for the rest of the day, but there was no way in hell she’d be caught dead carrying around one of those big, ugly, hot pink tote bags. I have my pride, she thought a little indignantly. She was about to give up when she spied exactly what they needed. "C’mon, and we’ll get a knapsack for all your furry little friends."

"Not all of them," Leigh chuckled softly, moving away from RJ’s prodding hands. She placed a quick kiss on RJ’s chin and allowed her gaze to slowly draw a line down the center of RJ’s body. "My favorite furry friend is in your –"

"Leigh Matthews!"

"Hand," the blonde finished sweetly, snatching the lone black bear away. She winked at her companion.

"Watch your mouth, young lady," RJ warned playfully, "or I’ll be forced to watch it for you."

Leigh looked to the bundle in her arms. "Can't we just pass them out to the people who were too pathetic to win them on their own?" Except for the black one, he’s all mine. She made sure her voice was just loud enough for all the people standing around the game, where RJ had just cleaned house, to hear. Leigh smirked at several young men’s petulant grumbles and curses.

"Wimps," she added for good measure.

"You’re evil." RJ smiled, her grassy-green eyes shining in the afternoon sun. "You should be ashamed."

"Ashamed, that’s me. I’m known far and wide for my hypersensitive conscience and over-developed sense of guilt."

"Uh huh. Sure." RJ maneuvered them alongside a platform with a padded metal block sitting squarely in its center. It was attached to a metal pole with a large silver bell on top.

"One swing, one ring, you get a prize! Only to-eeeew dollars," the barker sang out rhythmically as he swung the large wooden hammer.

RJ stripped off her jacket and after a second’s consideration, her short-sleeved denim shirt, leaving her clad in her usual undershirt.

Leigh blinked. "Uh … You are going to leave at least something on, aren’t you? Not that I mind, but I didn’t bring enough cash to bail you out of jail."

The barker gave a low, appreciative whistle at the sight of RJ’s underdressed body.

Leigh’s head swung around and she practically snarled at the man, causing him to take a giant step backwards.

RJ rolled her eyes. "I’m gonna win a bag. And I need to be able to swing to do it." She scoffed at the puny hammer the man held out for her and marched behind him to a selection of slightly larger ones. She chose the biggest hammer they had.

Leigh laughed and gathered RJ’s wrinkled clothes in her hands, still wrestling to keep the bears in her arms. "This is too butch, RJ, even for you." She quirked an eyebrow. "Is the spitting contest next?" But even as she continued to tease, her head was cocked slightly to the side as she openly admired RJ's broad shoulders and lean, muscular arms.

"I couldn’t very well just let you fumble around with all those little beggers." RJ gestured to the stuffed animals, then rubbed her palms on her jeans as she prepared to heft the hammer for the first blow.

"We could just find a garbage sack," Leigh offered. She knew good and well RJ had already set her mind on another prize, but was enjoying needling her lover.

"Nah." RJ stood up straight and put one hand on her hip. She pinned Leigh with a glare more playful than withering. "Are you trying to spoil my fun?"

"Would I do that?"

RJ only snorted.

"Have at it then. But you promise you’re going to pick the bag and not that enormous snake when you win, right?" It didn’t even occur to the trucker to think that RJ wouldn’t ring the bell.

"I think you’ll look better toting around the knapsack." RJ lifted the hammer. She took two practice swings, exhaling slowly as she readied herself for the blow.

A small crowd had gathered. This game was strictly for the big boys and no one believed the woman would be able to move the weight even halfway up the scale. Catcalls rang out, along with a few, mostly good-natured, taunts.

"Ten bucks says the dyke can’t do it," grumbled a scrawny young man, who looked like he needed a break from his job at the state roadside sanitation department. Leigh wondered who was scraping up all the dead raccoons today.

"Make it twenty and you’re on." His buddy spit in his hand and stuck it out for roadkill boy to shake, which he did after spitting in his own hand.

Leigh grimaced, not understanding why every woman on the planet wasn’t a lesbian.

RJ rolled her shoulders one more time. Then, with a look of solid concentration, she swung the hammer, bringing it down with vicious force. The weight exploded up the pole as though a charge of gunpowder had gone off beneath it, causing a deafening ring of the bell before plunging back to the base.

Most of the crowd laughed and applauded when the pilot put the hammer down, gesturing to the bag that hung on the hook. The carny pulled down the large navy canvas bag and tossed it to the tall woman. RJ unzipped the bag and presented it to Leigh with flourish, holding it open so she could deposit her booty inside.

Once Leigh had stuffed the bears in the bag, RJ zipped it up and handed it to the blonde.

"There you go. One bag of bears." She wiggled her eyebrows, quite proud of herself.

"You are disgustingly happy with yourself right now, aren’t you?" Leigh smiled back; she couldn’t help it. RJ’s relaxed demeanor made this kind of thing more fun than she ever thought it could be.

"Pretty much." RJ smirked.

Leigh was actually feeling like a woman who might be able to enjoy having a serious relationship. It still scared her, but the smile on RJ’s face was helplessly leading her places she’d never gone. At least successfully. "I think you deserve a kiss."

Without allowing her the chance to answer, Leigh dropped the bag on the ground at her feet and grabbed the front of RJ’s undershirt in one hand to pull her down for a passionate kiss that left roadkill boy and his friend staring wide-eyed. God, Leigh enjoyed torturing the straight people.

"Mmm." RJ licked her lips as they separated. "How about something to eat?"

Leigh bit her tongue to keep from saying the first thing that popped into her mind. "I dunno." She grinned wickedly. "What are you hungry for?"

After a lifetime of being the aggressor, RJ still was still thrown off balance by Leigh’s forwardness. She blushed, despite herself, easily reading the sudden fire in that had erupted in those clear blue eyes. "I’m thinking maybe a steak sandwich or something. With a nice cold beer." A really cold beer. And maybe a bucket of ice to dunk my head in too. She leaned in, whispering her lover’s ear, "But I’ll have you for dessert later."

"Life is short, RJ." Leigh held up the soft denim shirt for her to slip into. "We could always start with dessert and end with the beef?" She produced her best wishing look as she draped RJ’s jacket over her arm and retrieved the bag.

RJ growled inwardly. "We could at that, lass." She looked around for a moment, then eyed the perfect spot. "How about the Ferris wheel? I’ll pay the fella extra to leave us at the top for a few extra minutes," she tempted, mostly to see what would happen.

Leigh’s gaze swung toward the big wheel; she didn’t especially appreciate heights. On the other hand, she did appreciate the idea of getting a few moments in the sun in semi-privacy with RJ. "Okay. You’re on."

The pilot lifted her brows, realizing it was a little late in the relationship to be surprised by something as tame as this. Not after the balcony at the hotel … Lord have mercy. She grasped Leigh’s hand and led her through the crowd. The line moved pretty quickly, and soon they were standing at the gate to the ride entrance. RJ dug into her pocket, then slapped a bill in the attendant’s hand while whispering in his ear.

He looked down at Leigh and grinned broadly. Shaking his head, he opened the gate and lifted the bar positioned over the seat for them.

Leigh gestured to the duffel bag full of stuffed toys. "Should we take these too?"

"Sure. You might need something soft to hold onto. Or maybe even to bite down on."

"Promises, promises." Leigh sat down and tucked the large bag securely under her feet. "Have I mentioned that I really don't care for heights?"

"Then just close your eyes." RJ settled down next to the trucker. She put her arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.

Leigh smiled and snuggled closer, already feeling more comfortable with RJ’s arm around her. "This is nice." She felt the ride start, taking them upward and had just started to relax when she felt RJ’s thumb graze her nipple. "Behave!"

RJ moved to pull her hand away, looking surprised.

Leigh grabbed it and winked. "Just until we get to the top."

Both women began to laugh.

***

Leigh flipped the lid open on the pizza box, humming to herself as the smell of pepperoni and extra cheese wafted upward. She began to salivate. "Oooo, this is going to be so good." She absently passed RJ a plate and a napkin with one hand while she fixed hers with her other.

RJ scooted forward on the couch and eagerly took the plate. She glanced over at the trucker, who was tearing apart a gooey piece of pizza. "Did you have a good time today?"

"Absolutely," Leigh affirmed, closing her eyes and sinking her teeth into the pizza. She instantly burned the roof of her mouth. "Aww … shit!" The blonde spit her bite out into her napkin.

RJ tried not to laugh too hard as she passed Leigh a bottle of cold beer. "Don’t you hate it when that happens?" Green eyes twinkled. "You’d think that civilized man would have learned by now not to bite into hot cheese."

Leigh narrowed her watering eyes and took a deep swallow before saying, "No one, civilized or not, can resist the call of pizza." The air of authority in her voice made it clear that this was not mere opinion. This was fact. "It’s positively primal." She took another bite and winced. "And far too good to wait for."

"That could be said for a lot of things in this room." RJ winked, then plucked a piece of pizza from the box. You’d be worth waiting for, lass. I wish we had a chance. I’m sorry that it has to end so soon.

Leigh’s brows drew together at the sudden look of worry that chased across RJ’s face. "What’s wrong? You’re not going to be sick again, are you?" She leaned back out of the way. Just in case.

"No, lass, I’m fine," RJ grumbled. "Get sick once and you’re tagged for life." She sipped her beer. "I was just thinking about the fact that we’ll be starting back soon." Try as she might, she couldn’t quite stifle a heartfelt sigh. "Wishing we had a little more time, that’s all."

"It has been fun, hasn’t it?" Leigh questioned awkwardly, trying not to sound too eager for RJ’s answer.

The pilot smiled at her friend. "It certainly has. I’ve had a wonderful time. You’re a very special woman, Leigh Matthews."

"Thanks, RJ," Leigh answered softly. She closed her eyes and scrubbed at what she was certain was a light blush. "I um ... You’re great too. And, well ..."

So? You still know how you feel.

RJ waited patiently for Leigh continue. She tore at a piece of embedded pepperoni as she intently watched a myriad of emotions wash over Leigh’s face.

"It’s been nice and –" Leigh bit her lip, sorry she’d started down this path. Candy-ass chicken. You’ve never had trouble talking to women before, her inner voice mocked.

"Quiet," Leigh hissed tightly. Oh, damn. By the way she’s looking at me, I have a feeling I said that last part out loud.

RJ pulled back a bit, her brows coming together tight over the bridge of her nose. "I’m sorry." She shifted uncomfortably, thinking her wish for more time together had put Leigh on the spot. "I didn’t mean to upset you."

"No, no, no." Leigh shook her head wildly. "Don’t worry about it." When RJ’s expression didn’t change, she added, "You remember the cartoon where this kid had a good fairy on one shoulder and an evil fairy on the other, tempting him?"

RJ stared at her blankly.

"Figures." Leigh sighed. "Let’s just say that one of nasty fairies has been talking too much lately." She thinks I’m insane. She’d be right. Very funny. "I’m fine. Are you all packed?" Bright blue eyes begged RJ to allow the change in subjects.

RJ nodded slowly. This was just a fling. Don’t go blaming this woman because you let your foolish heart get the best of you and start craving something that’ll never be yours. "Yeah, I’m all set." She mustered a watery grin. "You’ll probably be glad to be rid of me." The tease was weak at best. She already knew it would break her heart to have Leigh confirm her words, yet she morbidly decided to probe the painful spot.

"Yeah, you are so hard to live with," Leigh said dryly. "It’s been real chore."

RJ actually chuckled before biting into her pizza. "Then maybe it’s a good thing we’re headed back. You’ve got such a high opinion of me right now, I’d hate to see it go up in a glorious puff of smoke when you find out what a pain I really am to be around on a full time basis. Just ask my mother, she’ll tell you."

Leigh cringed at the mention of RJ’s mother. She’d only seen her a couple of times, but that was more than enough for her get the idea that the strapping Irishwoman did not like her. "I think I’ll avoid your mom, if it’s all the same to you." She looks at me as though I’m a walking advertisement for decadence and debauchery. God, how could she know me so well without even talking to me?

RJ nodded and sipped her beer again. "My mother, God bless her, is a force to be reckoned with." She looked to Leigh and licked her lips. It’s time to figure out how you’re going to end this when you get home, because you know good and well that to keep seeing her is only going to make the want more and the hurt worse. "But just so there’s no doubt in your mind, lass, I’ve had the best time of my life these past few days. Thank you for asking me along." She began picking relentlessly at her beer’s label.

"My pleasure, RJ." Leigh pushed away her pizza. There was something else in the room whose call she found irresistible. She stood up and extended her hand to RJ.

RJ looked up in surprise. "Aren’t you hungry, lass?"

"Yes."

RJ swallowed.

"You haven’t seen what I bought at Victoria’s Secret yet, RJ." A sexy grin twitched at the corners of Leigh’s mouth. "Aren’t you curious?"

RJ’s eyes went a little wide. Am I curious? What kind of stupid question was that? She sat her bottle down and took Leigh’s hand as she got up from the couch. "Absolutely. I have a feeling this is going to be a night to remember for a long time."

"It should last you a lifetime," the trucker grinned mischievously as she led RJ to the bedroom.

Chapter XIII

RJ leaned back in the seat of the truck. She kept her face firmly turned to the window as she chewed on the nail of her thumb. I’ve got to make it clean. Do whatever it takes to make her leave and never come back. I can’t go on like this.

She glanced over at her companion, who at the moment was getting a report on the location of the nearest highway patrol over the CB. I’ve just been alone too long. What if I fell for the first pretty woman to give me the time of day? Okay, maybe not the first … She sighed. Leigh is special woman who deserves more than I can offer her. A once-a-week quickie in a garage is not a life. It’s not what she needs. It’s not even what I need.

The pilot’s foot began to bounce nervously as she continued to chew on her thumbnail. Oh, I just had to go and fall in love with her, didn’t I? Couldn’t keep it to just sex. No. I had to go and get attached. Serves you right, you damn fool.

Over the past couple of days RJ’s mood had worsened with each passing mile. Leigh had hinted several times that she’d be by the diner to see RJ again very soon. And though her heart thrilled to hear the words, at the same time they made things a hundred times more complicated. That she was in love with the woman was one thing. But to have those feelings returned, knowing all the while she was only hours away from ending things outright, was nearly more than RJ could bear. She’d had an upset stomach and headache for twenty-four hours straight and couldn’t see things getting better anytime soon.

She glanced to the clock in the dashboard. Two more hours and she’d be home.

"You’re awfully quiet today, RJ." Leigh peered into her side mirror before smoothly changing lanes. "Are you okay?" She’d asked that several times today but couldn’t help herself. Something wasn’t right.

"Yeah, I’m fine, lass," RJ lied, not knowing how unconvincing she sounded. Every time she looked at Leigh she felt her heart break again. She closed her eyes, forcing the tears away and trying to clear her mind. God, I’m tired.

***

"RJ," Leigh’s soft voice coaxed from fitful sleep. "RJ, wake up."

RJ opened her eyes slowly, wishing that Leigh wasn’t running her fingers through her hair. This was going to be hard enough without the sweet, lingering feeling of her touch.

"You have beautiful hair," Leigh whispered affectionately, still gently stroking the wavy auburn locks. "It would look even prettier longer, I’ll bet."

"Yeah?"

Leigh grinned and nodded. "Yeah." She leaned forward and kissed RJ softly on the cheek. "We’re back."

RJ slowly sat up in her seat. She took a deep breath, letting it out explosively when she saw diner staring back at her through the front window of the truck. "So we are." She reached back and grabbed her travel bag, smiling sadly at the canvas duffel full of teddy bears that was tucked just behind the seats. Without looking back at Leigh, she opened the door and climbed down.

The air was warm and dry and held the scent of tall grass, rich soil and home. Fitz’s sign reflected the bright afternoon sun, and RJ could see that another bulb had blown out in her absence.

She was tempted to rush inside and not face Leigh, but couldn’t force her feet to move in time.

Leigh joined her in front of the truck and laid a warm hand on the small of her back, rubbing gently. The simple gesture nearly undid her. "Well," with a shaky hand RJ shifted her bag over one shoulder. "I guess this is where I get off."

Leigh shrugged half-heartedly. She ducked her head and kicked at a rock by her foot. "I wouldn’t mind taking you home. To Glory, I mean." Truth be told, she was hoping for a few more moments together, admitting to herself for the first time that she didn’t want to leave RJ at all. Besides, she’d been wondering about Glory for weeks.

RJ shook her head. "No, that’s okay. My truck is right over there, and I should probably go inside and see if Fitz’s is ready to fall down. With just Pete looking out for it, that’s a definite possibility." She shifted uncomfortably, looking back and forth between Leigh and the diner.

Leigh frowned a little as a growing sense of apprehension blossomed in the pit of her stomach. "Okay." She drew out the word. "At least let me walk you to diner."

Do it, you damn coward. Do it now. "Okay," she heard herself say. They began a slow walk, with RJ detouring slightly to toss her bag in the bed of her pickup truck. She reached in through the open window, intent on snagging the open pack of cigarettes from the dashboard, but stopped herself. Instead, she fished a nearly empty pack from her pocket, quickly lighting a cigarette. RJ took a deep drag, holding her breath for a long satisfying moment before releasing the smoke into the afternoon breeze. "So," she cleared her throat and picked a tiny piece of tobacco from her tongue. "Will you be going back to see Judith now?"

Leigh’s blinked and her jaw sagged noticeably. "Wa… What?"

RJ tried for nonchalant. I’m so sorry, lass. Please forgive me. "I just figured that now that you’re rid of me, you might try your hand at fixing things up with her. She was pretty enough. Nice hair and eyes. You could do worse." Jesus, I’m dying all over again.

During Leigh’s long, stunned silence, RJ told herself that this was the best thing for both them. That Leigh would be able to get back to her life, while she got back to her eternity. They could never really be together. This was the only way. Say something, dammit. Anything.

Leigh could tell by the look on RJ’s face that she wasn’t joking. She replayed what had just been said over and over in her mind, feeling the words as though each one were a 2x4 to her chest. "Why – " she stopped and swallowed back the acrid taste that had built up in the back of her throat. I will not puke. "Why would I go back to Judith?" You can’t want that, can you? I don’t understand! her mind screamed.

"Just seems to me to be the logical thing for you to do." RJ refused to look up from the toe of her boots. She took another drag from her cigarette, releasing the thick white stream of smoke through her nose. "I know I was a pleasant distraction for you, but I think if you went back there you could work things out with her. She’s had plenty of time to cool off."

"I don’t want to work things out with her!" Leigh’s hand shot out and she snatched the cigarette out of RJ’s mouth. She flicked it to the ground and crushed it under her shoe. With the palm of her hand she grasped the taller woman’s chin and forced eye contact. "What in the hell are you talking about?" Her voice was demanding and rough, but RJ couldn’t help but hear her rising panic.

She gulped hard and forced herself to directly meet Leigh’s confused but fiery glare.

"Don’t make this harder than it has to be. Do I really have to explain things, lass?"

Leigh ran her hands through her hair. "I guess you do, RJ. Because I don’t understand what the hell is happening."

"It’s over, Leigh. The week is done. Now the best thing you can do is climb in your truck and drive away." Every word tasted foreign and bitter, and her heart cried out for her to stop.

But she didn’t.

"We had fun." RJ shrugged again, pulling her chin from Leigh’s grasp and looking away. "But now the fun is over."

The fun is over? "You’re dumping me?" Leigh whispered incredulously, trying desperately to figure out what had happened. Things were wonderful between them. Better than wonderful. Sure, she hadn’t said the words yet, but that didn’t make her feelings any less real.

RJ clenched her fists nervously. "C’mon, Leigh." The dull ache in her chest intensified. "It was sex. A week of wonderful sex, granted." She gave the trucker her best roguish look. "But you’ve got to know I’m not exactly the type for anything long term."

"I never asked for anything long term!" But the protest sounded hollow even to Leigh’s own ears. She hadn’t asked for it. But that’s exactly what she found herself wanting.

RJ pointed at the truck. "Look, lass, I really think you need to just climb back in your truck and head down the road. I’m sure if you drive real fast, that pretty waitress will be more than happy to make you feel better." From the corner of her eye she could see Pete and her mother standing in the door of the diner, waiting. RJ could sense their pity, and she would have none of it. She bit her lip and refocused on Leigh. She needed to end this now, before she changed her mind. "I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to make a spot for you in her bed."

Leigh spun away from RJ and moaned out loud as though she was in physical pain. "I thought you loved me!" She whirled back and glared. "You said that." She was yelling now. "I heard you."

The pilot clenched her teeth so hard it felt as though her jaw would break. You heard that and you still stayed? This is not fair! She gestured aimlessly. "Pillow talk."

"Why are you doing this?" Tears filled confused eyes. This isn’t how things were supposed to be. We’re supposed to end up together. I know it.

"Doing what, Leigh? Being true to my nature?" RJ forced out a cruel laugh. "Do I look like the type of person who wants to have someone attached to them?"

"I … I thought –"

"You thought wrong. Leigh, you don’t really believe you’re the only woman that I’ve had here, do you?" RJ closed her eyes briefly before forcing the next words from her lips. "You were my Tuesday afternoon distraction."

SMACK!

The sound of the loud slap rang out in the quiet parking lot. "You bitch." Leigh’s face turned bright red. "That’s a lie and you know it."

RJ felt the slap deep into her soul and knew she deserved that and ten times worse. Yes, it is, love. She nearly faltered in her determination, but a deep breath allowed her to press on. "You give yourself a lot of credit, Leigh Matthews. That’s one helluva ego you have." She pulled another cigarette from the pack, letting the empty wrapper fall to the ground. She lit it and tossed the match over her shoulder. "What’s the matter? Don’t like it when someone beats you at your own game? Don’t care for it when someone uses you for a quick fuck?"

Through Leigh’s astonishment and mounting anger, the truth in the words still tore at her. Is that what this is? Some sort of cosmic revenge for enjoying women? But she’d never led anyone on. Not like this. "Quick fuck," Leigh laughed humorously, saying it out loud to make it sound real. "Now, I see."

RJ let out a shaky breath. "Finally." She plucked her cigarette from her mouth and waved toward the rig again. "So why don’t you go ahead and head back to the waitress. Though I have no doubt you’ve got one in every city between here and Seattle."

Leigh took a step closer to RJ, crossing the boundaries of her personal space as though they didn’t exist. "Smoking is a nasty habit, RJ. It could kill you." She patted RJ’s chest with startling tenderness. "Enjoy your cigarette." With that, she turned on her heels and began marching back to her truck. Tears blurred her vision and when she was far enough from RJ so that she was certain that she couldn’t hear, Leigh let out a gentle sob, her shoulders shaking.

As she walked past RJ’s rusted pickup, she kicked at one of the tires, cursing at the instant pain it caused her foot. "Piece of shit truck!" Fury and embarrassment washed over her and when she saw the crowbar lying in the pickup bed, she didn’t hesitate for even a second. She snatched it up and set out to demolish old machine.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" RJ spun around when she heard the first sounds of glass breaking. But Leigh managed to shatter three windows, the front windshield, and put a huge hole in the back glass before RJ could make it back to her. "Have you lost your senses?" she yelled as she tried to grab the crowbar away from the furious blonde. "Christ, if you’re mad at me then hit me! Don’t take it out of my truck."

"Fine!" Leigh threw down the crowbar and took a swing at RJ, barely missing her as the auburn-haired woman ducked out of the way.

"Shit." The pilot continued to back up as Leigh kept swinging at her. "I hope this is making you feel better, because you look like a lunatic."

The words only made Leigh madder, and she cried out her frustration at not being able to do any real damage as RJ ducked and weaved out of her way.

"C’mon now and calm down. You give yourself a couple of weeks and you’ll have forgotten I even exist."

Leigh swung again and again, grunting when she managed to graze RJ’s shoulder, the impact causing the taller woman to wince. "I don’t want to forget you!" she cried. Suddenly she froze as the realization of what she was doing hit home. The energy seemed to drain from her body and like a rag doll she fell limply to her knees, panting. "That’s not what I want." Her voice broke. I want you. She looked up at RJ hopefully, hot tears spilling over. "Please, RJ." Leigh stiffened when her lover didn’t answer. "Is that what you want? For me to forget everything?"

RJ felt her carefully measured control slipping. It wasn’t supposed to be this horrible. This was too hard. She wanted nothing more than to pull Leigh into her arms, beg her forgiveness, and promise they would be together forever. But as sure as she was standing there RJ knew one thing with soul-shattering certainty. Her own heart’s desire wasn’t a possibility. Her hands shaped white-knuckled fists. "Yes," she ground out harshly before turning and walking away.

She left Leigh on her knees in the dirt, crying. With her back to her lover, she allowed her own tears to fall. RJ could hear the love of her life — and afterlife — pick herself up, dust herself off, and stomp back toward her rig.

Leigh paused for a moment, wiping her cheeks on her shirtsleeve, embarrassed and angry over the tears. She turned slowly and watched RJ’s retreating form move closer and closer to the diner. "You can go to hell, RJ," she called out.

RJ continued to walk, not even flinching at the words. Before stepping onto the porch, she warily peeked over her shoulder in time to see Leigh climb in the truck and start the engine. "I’m already there, Leigh Matthews." She continued to stare as Leigh slammed down hard on the accelerator, sending an enormous cloud of dust into the sky before she disappeared. "Take care of yourself, love. I’ll miss you."

Sixty years of built-up resentment bubbled over, and RJ stomped her foot down hard on the porch steps, knowing what would happen. She felt her world spin and gasped as her chest tightened to an unbearable degree just before everything went black.

She never felt Pete and her mother’s loving hands lower her to the ground. They tried to ease her on her short journey back from life to what lay beyond. But as always, this was one trip that could only be taken alone.

Katherine looked down at RJ’s rumpled clothes and then at the black pickup surrounded by shattered glass. At that very second a large chunk of glass fell from the driver's side window into the dirt. She cringed. "Peter," she turned accusing eyes on the heavy-set man, "why didn’t you tell me the lady trucker had Irish in her? My RJ could have been killed!"

***

"Pay up, loser."

The male squirrel grumpily pulled his head back into their nest. "How?" He threw his paws into the air. "How could that have happened? The darker human has at least six inches and forty pounds on the smaller one." Last time I ever bet on human female fight. "It was a sure thing. In the bar parking lot across from the park the fattest human female always wins," he bemoaned, slumping down on their bed. "Unless one has really big hair or is from New Jersey. But those are the only things that trump blubber. Everyone knows that!"

"Wrong. Size doesn’t necessarily matter."

He looked down at himself and then back up at her hopefully.

"Except there."

The male scowled and crossed his legs.

"Well?" She held out her paw. "You’re not going to welch, are you?"

"Of course not!" he lied. The male pretended to look for an acorn in the soft grass that lined his bed. "You’ll just have to take a rain check." His voice dropped to a mumble. "I don’t happen to have payment at this very moment."

"What?" his mate roared.

"You heard me." He scratched his thigh. "It’s not like I’ve been able to go out gathering for a few days, you know."

The female sucked on her pointy canines. This much was true. Her mate had spent the last three days in bed due to a mysteriously contracted itching illness. It had been pure hell. Her evil deceit had snared her like a spider caught in its own web. But she’d finally learned her lesson once and for all. Dammit. Never again! Next time she did it she’d be sure to store up a good supply of food first.

"What are we going to do?"

She joined the male on the bed. Taking pity on him she scratched his back, which was now covered with short, soft brown fur. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he began to quake, "I can’t take the pressure of being in charge!" Tiny squirrel tears began to fall. "I know I said I was going to from now on. But … but it’s too much to handle. The pressure! The demands! The expectations! The sacrifice!"

"All you’ve done is lay in bed for seventy hours straight."

"I know," he cried miserably. "But I was thinking the whole time."

"Did it hurt?"

"You could tell?"

The female thought about that for a moment. She had assumed that the pained, nearly constipated look on his face was beer withdrawal. But thinking pains, so common in males, was another viable possibility.

"I’m not a modern squirrel. I’m not," he pressed.

She sighed. "Well, the truth is –"

"Please, please, can’t we go back to our established familial roles? With me as the virile, squirrel-about-town bread winner. The squirrel that makes your cold black heart pitter-patter. And with you as my loyal, scheming and surprisingly organized housewife?"

"I do excel at scheming and I am organized."

"And who are we to question the eternal wisdom of Meatloaf?" he crowed.

She had to admit, "Two outta three ain’t bad."

"Exactly."

"But why should I?" She never had any intention of losing the mantle of power. In fact, she’d forgotten he’d even said anything about it. But this was too fun to ignore.

"I’m losing my sense of self. I can’t take it. I don’t know me anymore. I’m adrift in a sea of confusion."

The female’s eyes widened a little. Had he somehow gone from beer to crack without her knowing about it? How could he not offer to share?

He wiped away his tears, clearly sensing that she was weakening. "A switch in gender roles is not something that a squirrel can be expected to adapt to in a day or week. It takes years of inter-spousal communication and understanding. If done improperly it could tear the very fabric of squirrel society, not to mention our marriage."

"You just couldn’t think of a plan to save us from the cat," she said knowingly.

"Not a single one."

***

Pete watched as RJ propped a tall ladder against the frame of the sign. She hadn’t said much since her return, and her mood was growing darker with each passing day. He knew she was hurt and upset, but he didn’t have a clue as how to ease his friend’s pain.

"Anything I can do to help?" he inquired as RJ started up the ladder, new bulbs in hand.

"No thanks."

Pete held the ladder steady as he watched her climb the steps. "Fitz, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You knew your time with Leigh was limited."

"I don’t want to talk about it." She continued at her task, removing one of the burned out bulbs and laying it on the sign’s ledge.

Pete called up, "Your mother is worried about you."

RJ scowled and touched a strand of blowing hair behind her ear. "My mother worries too much." She removed the next bad bulb and laughed without a trace of humor. "It’s not like it can kill me."

"Stop saying that over and over. RJ, that’s not even funny."

"Sure it is." She looked down at Pete. "Leigh will be fine."

"Will you? Eternity is a long time to have regrets."

One of the bulbs was rusted into place and RJ cursed as it shattered in her hand and nicked her palm when she tried to remove it. "I’m sure I’ll get used to it," she answered tersely. She quickly put the new bulbs into place and collected the old before starting down the ladder. At the bottom she wiped her hands on a rag. "It’s amazing the things you can get used to when necessary."

Before Pete could say another word, RJ collapsed the ladder and hoisted it onto her shoulder. She turned and walked toward the garage.

"What is it that you want, RJ?" Pete called to her retreating form. He hoped to get any reaction at all out of her. He figured that even anger was better than the listless and depressed woman who had taken the place of his friend.

RJ threw the ladder down with such force that it bounced once before settling on the ground. She spun around in the dirt, causing dusty clouds to swirl at her feet as she glared at Pete. "What I want? What I want is no doubt several hundred miles away by now!"

She stomped closer to him, her hands curled into tight fists. "Probably finding comfort in the arms of a woman who can’t possibly love her as much as I do. The one I want thinks I’m a right bitch who used her and never cared for her, when in reality I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her!"

She was furious and shaking all over; tears leapt into her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

"Is that what you wanted to hear, Peter? Did you want to hear that I’m miserable? That it hurts all the time? That I can’t shake the feeling of her touch, that I hear her voice in my head every second. That when I close my eyes," she paused as the angry energy began to drain from her and the tears became nearly too much to fight, "I see her face."

He saw her shoulders slump as she turned and stalked over to her truck. She climbed in, sitting stock still for a moment before more anger burst forth and she beat her fists against the steering wheel. Once the tide of fury had subsided, she started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot.

Pete watched her drive away, headed back to Glory. He sighed, then felt hands on his shoulders.

"She’ll be all right. RJ’s a strong woman," Mavis offered quietly.

"This is a hurt that’s going to take a long time to heal."

"We’ll help her." Mavis rested her cheek against Pete’s shoulder.

"She doesn’t want our help."

"In time she’ll realize she needs it."

"I hope so, but the one thing we know about RJ is she’s as stubborn as a two-dollar mule."

***

Highway patrolman Jerry Englund sat ‘meditating’ in his patrol car in his hidden spot alongside the road. His eyes had just begun to droop and he let out a soft snore when a bright red semi-truck went barreling past him at what had to be over a hundred miles per hour.

Something crashing against his windshield and the loud dull thud sent him bolting upright. Confused, he rubbed his eyes and looked around, but the truck had already disappeared over the hill in front of him. "What the hell?" Had a bird hit his windshield while his car was standing still?

The patrolman exited the vehicle and walked around past the front bumper. His gaze dropped to the ground and his deeply set, brown eyes widened. "I’ll be good and god damned."

Over the past few months he’d found more than a dozen mutilated stuffed bears alongside the highway. They intrigued him to no end. Who was this sicko?

Patrolman Englund picked up the soft brown teddy bear and gasped. The head had very nearly been severed, remaining attached by only the barest of threads. Tire tracks were embedded in the fur and there was a hole in the bear’s chest where his heart would have been. If stuffed toys had hearts. Englund suspected they were dealing with an enraged sociopath. He grinned broadly and tossed the bear into his backseat as a souvenir. He was sure that someday it would fetch a handsome price on eBay. Maybe he could even sell the head separately.

***

RJ settled on her parents’ front porch swing, watching the sun go down, sipping a beer. She looked at the sweating bottle, running her thumb through the condensation. She sniffed, then tipped the bottle to her lips, drinking deeply.

She glanced up when she heard the screen door creak open. Her brother Liam sat down next to her and took a deep breath as he contemplated very carefully what he wanted to say.

"I know," he finally started, "that this may not mean much right now, but it’ll get better. It’s only been a couple of months."

"Why did it happen, Liam? How could I let myself fall in love with her?"

The man scratched a stubbley jaw. "I suppose there’s no good answer to that. I could say it’s one of those lessons life is suppose to teach you that sometimes things don’t work out like you want it to." He winced at how lame that sounded.

"I thought I learned that lesson when my plane crashed."

Liam nodded. "I suppose that’s true, but that wasn’t a lesson of the heart. Those are always the hardest lessons to learn."

The pilot grunted and rolled her eyes at her brother’s attempt at waxing philosophical. She took another sip of beer. RJ was by no means drunk — yet. Right now she was feeling pleasantly numb. "I wonder if she misses me," she said softly, eyeing a rabbit that jumped happily through the yard.

Liam placed a gentle hand on his sister’s knee. "I’m sure she does, RJ. But you know what you did was best for you both," he assured confidently.

Her auburn head bobbed weakly, and she became aware of the strands brushing the tops of her shoulders. She had started to go to Sammy’s Barber Shop weeks ago but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She knew it was foolish, but every time she tried to get it cut she kept hearing Leigh’s comment about how good it would look longer. Wish you could see it now, lass.

"RJ, there’s something I think you should know." Liam shifted uncomfortably on the swing. His sister deserved to know this, but he wasn’t quite sure how she would take it. RJ was never one to appreciate meddling. "While you gone with Leigh, Mother tried to get the council to allow you to go permanently. So you could be together."

A single dark eyebrow shot upward.

"Her request was turned down."

RJ stared at her brother, her disbelief clear. "Really?" She blinked stupidly. "I thought Mother didn’t care for Leigh."

Liam smiled sadly. "She wanted what she’s always wanted, for you to be happy."

RJ sighed. "You know, brother, I’m starting to believe that I was never meant to be truly happy."

***

"Shut up, Rooster," Leigh said in warning. The man had been calling for her over the CB every day for the last few weeks. She’d listened to other truckers report they’d seen what they thought was her truck, but they couldn’t be sure since her mother’s nude body no longer graced the side.

"C’mon, Leigh. I know you’re out there somewhere. For Christ’s sake, pick up the radio."

Leigh glared at the radio evilly. She was tempted to just shut the damn thing off, but she found the thundering silence to oppressive too bear.

"Tom Cat, I –"

Leigh snatched up he receiver. "You asshole, Rooster. I told you never to call me that." Her irritation was clear.

"Ah … I knew you were still alive."

"Of course I’m still alive. Why wouldn’t I be?" She rubbed her eyes tiredly, intentionally not thinking about the haunting, dark circles that now seemed a permanent fixture on her face.

"Well, I heard you picked up another route along with the already impossible one you drive."

Leigh didn’t answer.

"Plus, I haven’t seen you at Rosie’s in forever."

"So?"

There was a longer silence this time.

"So the guys are worried about you," Rooster finally said.

"Bull shit. The guys don’t even know me. And neither do you."

"Leigh – "

"Drive your truck and leave me alone, Rooster."

Rooster sighed and Leigh could hear the enormous man shifting in his seat. The flat tone to her voice worried him, but he wasn’t about to piss her off any further. She’d come around eventually. "If that’s how you want it."

"That’s exactly how I want it."

"Okay, but if –"

Leigh slammed the receiver back into its holder and clicked the radio off. The small teddy bear that was hanging by a homemade noose from her rear view mirror caught her attention and for several moments she stared at it, her face a stone mask. Then she punched it and watched in satisfaction as it banged back and forth several times between her windshield and the roof. "I don’t need you." Without warning, she felt tears sting her eyes for the first time in weeks. She would have sworn she was all cried out. "I don’t need anybody," she whispered harshly as she punched the gas.

Three hours later the road was blurring so badly she couldn’t see it. Angry at her body’s relentless demands, she jerked the wheel to the left and pulled off the road onto a wide shoulder. Fully dressed, she flopped gracelessly down on the small bed. After a brief war with herself, she reached out a hand slowly and rooted around in a pile of new towels she’d purchased the day before to avoid having to do laundry. Quickly, she found what she was looking for — a well worn, small black teddy bear, the last bear that remained, save the one hanging from her rear view mirror.

The bear’s coal black eyes stared back at her and she lightly fingered the soft black fur that stuck out in all directions. RJ had pinned the pilot wings Lucy had given her on the stuffed toy’s chest. As furious and heart-broken as Leigh was, she didn’t have the heart to remove them. She pulled the bear to her breast and curled up into the fetal position, trying not to feel the ache in her chest or think about anything at all as she let the infrequent hum of the late night traffic lull her into a fitful sleep.

***

RJ let the beer bottle drop carelessly to the floor as she drove toward the diner. She wiped the sweat from her face, wondering why it was so damn hot. Her vision was unfocused and her head was spinning just little.

The ache had only gotten worse over since she’d parted with Leigh. For her there simply was no peace. She continued with her duties as guide to Glory and handyman to the diner, even setting aside a portion of her day to remain utterly sober. What more did they want from her? They have no right to ask for more. Why can’t they just leave me the hell alone?

Pulling her truck around behind the garage, she killed the engine and pushed the door open, stumbling out of the truck and nearly falling on her face in the dirt. At the last moment she managed to retain a tiny bit of her balance and pull herself up by the door handle. She stared at the truck, which still had its broken windows, then she slammed the door and staggered toward the garage.

As she leaned drunkenly on the garage door it fell open, sending her sprawling to the floor, landing at the feet of a very surprised Tony.

"RJ! Are you okay?" He dropped to the floor near his friend.

She shook her head. "N … no." She burst out laughing. "I’m not even close to okay."

The smell of stale beer was overwhelming, and as much as Tony loved the beverage when the odor came out of someone else’s mouth it was just plain putrid. He tried not to gag as he placed his hands under her and began to tug her to her feet.

"I think you need some coffee. C’mon, let’s go to the diner."

"Don’t want to go to the diner. Came to finish fixing the roof."

"No way, man. Just no way. I’m not going to let you up on the roof like this. You could kill yourself."

RJ laughed so hard she started to cough. "You don’t get it, do you, boy? We’re dead. I already went splat. And from a lot higher than this roof. Trust me: I won’t die again. If I could find a way, I would."

Tony went a little pale. "Stop talking like that." He pulled her up, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Let’s get you sobered up."

"You know how?"

The young man nodded grimly thinking of his own childhood.

RJ slapped him on the back. "Good, lad."

He maneuvered them to the door, pulling her toward the diner. Just as they made it to the back door they turned toward a crashing sound to see RJ’s pickup truck rolling down a slight incline, tearing out small trees and bushes as it went. In stunned silence their eyes tracked the truck as it rolled right into pond.

RJ pulled away from Tony, swaying and laughing as the black truck slowly began sinking into the murky water. "Guess I forgot to set the brake," she slurred before her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out, falling face first to the ground.

***

Leigh switched off her ignition and stared at the diner. She knew it was a bad idea coming back here. But she had no place else to go.

She yanked the hanging bear from her mirror and exited the truck. The sunset cast its orange and red rays across the plains, painting them in rich color. Leigh pulled off her sunglasses and drew in a deep breath of the fragrant late-summer air. Then she waited, knowing she was bound to see her soon. She swallowed nervously when the woman appeared out the front door of the diner and lit a cigarette. Leigh closed her eyes and firmed her resolve. With a negligent hand she tossed the bear into the ditch alongside the parking lot. It was time to do something, and Leigh marched determinedly toward the front door.

"Leigh?" She quirked an eyebrow. "I didn’t think I’d see you back here."

Leigh ducked her head. "Hello, Judith," she said quietly.

Judith took a step closer to her old lover, visibly cringing at Leigh’s appearance. "Jesus Christ. What have you done to yourself?" She laid a comforting hand on Leigh’s shoulder. "Have you given up sleep and food completely?" Her fingertips brushed across Leigh’s arm. "You’re all skin and bones."

Leigh sighed and closed her eyes at the comforting touch. "I’m okay," she assured softly.

"I can see that." But Judith’s sarcasm held no real malice.

Leigh shook her head. "It’s been a long time."

"Three months." Judith paused. "You’re not really okay, are you?"

Leigh looked up with painfully honest eyes. "No," she admitted. "I guess I’m not."

"C’mere, honey." Judith opened her arms to her friend, and Leigh gratefully stepped into them.

Chapter XIV

Judith climbed into bed alongside Leigh, who was curled up wearing only an old t-shirt and her panties. She was facing away from her.

The bedroom was dark and quiet and held a note of familiarity that Leigh found soothing. Maybe she’d find the restful sleep here that had eluded her for so many weeks.

Judith kissed the back of Leigh’s neck tenderly. The blonde stiffened slightly in reaction, but didn’t move to stop her. "I like your hair like this." Leigh had cut it short the month prior. "It gives me easier access to your neck."

"Uh … thanks. It was … it was bothering me before, I guess."

"You can relax, Leigh," Judith whispered, spooning her body to Leigh’s. She drew her hand down the soft skin of Leigh’s thigh, her body easily remembering the many nights of unabashed pleasure they’d shared. She was hard pressed not to moan out loud. "I’ve missed you … missed this."

Leigh didn’t know what to say. She closed her eyes when Judith’s touch drifted across her belly and pushed up her shirt. She hesitated for a split second, then shifted slightly so her shirt could be pulled over her head. Leigh gasped a little when Judith’s warm hands replaced the cotton and continued their lazy stroking.

"I’m not going to hurt you."

Leigh swallowed. "I know." But her muscles were so taut the waitress figured she could bounce a quarter off her ass with little effort. With a light groan, Leigh turned over onto her back, allowing the sheet to pool around her waist.

Judith leaned forward and kissed Leigh lightly on the lips. The kiss was returned and she deepened it, the taste of Leigh’s mouth ringing familiar chords within her. But something felt different. She pulled back, nipping Leigh’s lower lip as she moved away. Leigh’s eyes met hers and in an instant a bone-deep understanding flashed between them.

Judith sighed. Her luck was never going to change when it came to this particular trucker. She would never be hers and Judith knew it. For a moment she gave serious consideration to kicking Leigh out of her bed and life for good. But this time Judith didn’t want to be left with nothing. Beneath Tom Cat’s exterior was a woman she genuinely liked and wanted to get to know better. Tonight she wanted to get to know her breasts better. But she would live with just being friends. "Wanna tell me about it?"

"What?"

"Don’t screw with me, Leigh. I’m horny as hell and that’s just one step from homicidal. So I repeat, wanna tell me about it?"

Leigh sighed. "No."

"Liar."

Despite herself, Leigh chuckled. "How’d you get so smart all of the a? sudden?"

"All of the a sudden?" Judith laid her head on her shoulder.

"Smartass."

Judith took Leigh’s hands in hers. "So tell about who finally broke your heart."

Leigh’s pale blue eyes widened. "Damn. Could you always read minds too?"

"Of course. I’m a fabulous catch. You were always just too busy leaving me to notice."

Judith felt Leigh draw in a deep breath as it moved her body right along with it.

"Jesus, Judith. I’m so sorry," Leigh said honestly, her voice barely audible.

"Me too. So talk." Judith’s arms tightened around Leigh as the blonde began her story with that first night she accidentally stumbled upon a diner in the mist.

They talked until the moon hung low in the sky.

"Wow" was all Judith could think to say. Leigh had long since rolled over on her side and the waitress hugged her tightly to her. "That’s the most horrible story I’ve ever heard." She sniffed back her own tears.

Leigh nodded, the large lump in her throat making further speech impossible.

"When are you going back to her?" Judith asked, her warm breath tickling the back of Leigh’s neck.

Leigh rolled her eyes. She hadn’t made her final decision until that very moment. Judith knew her far too well. "Tomorrow."

"I can’t believe I’m saying this, but good luck."

Leigh took Judith’s hand in hers and squeezed it gently. "Thank you."

The first rays of the morning sun and Leigh’s nearly incoherent mumble finally broke the dark, silent moments that had stretched out between them. "Judith?"

Judith blinked dazedly. "Hmm?"

"Sometimes love …" A long pause. "Som … sometimes love … it fucking sucks."

Judith rolled her eyes, then gazed fondly at her already slumbering friend. She sighed. "Tell me about it, Leigh."

***

RJ stood back and appraised her truck. She sighed and shook her head when a large glop of mud fell off the mangled bumper. After she had sobered up, she, Liam, and Patrick had managed to tow it out of the pond. It was then RJ realized that things had to change.

"It’s not that bad." Patrick tried to sound optimistic as he peered into the water-damaged interior. He opened the door and a surge of water poured over his shoes. A hapless fish flopped out and dropped dead on his toe. "Eww." He kicked it away.

"Yeah. Yeah. It’s going to take a long time to fix her back up." RJ dropped down onto the grass and pulled her cigarettes from her pocket. "I’m not sure I even want to."

"You have to. She was one of the sweetest trucks in Glory." Patrick joined his sister, taking one of her smokes for himself.

"Was being the operative word," RJ said glumly.

"What do you want, RJ?"

"I want Leigh."

"That’s not what I meant."

RJ closed her eyes and leaned back, using her hand to brace her. "I know."

Patrick lit his own cigarette and turned his head to blow out the smoke. "It’s bad to want something you can’t have."

RJ exhaled calmly. "And Confucius say kiss my arse! Since when are my brothers philosophers and head shrinkers? I’ll go to Pete if I want a bunch of annoying advice."

Patrick furrowed his brow. "Confucius?"

RJ dropped onto her back, moaning. "Mary, sweet Mother of Jesus, please help me not to drown my brother in that lovely pond," she gestured over her shoulder.

"Hey," Patrick protested, "you brought it up."

RJ shook her head. "That I did." Her eyes took on a determined glint. "Besides, I’m not so sure I can’t have what I want." She crossed her legs at the ankles. "I’m going to ask to leave Glory."

Patrick’s and Liam’s jaws both dropped. "You’re joking, right? You know Mother already tried–"

She waved him off. "That was Mother." Her voice dropped to its lowest register. "Not me. I’m going to ask." She plucked her cigarette from her lips and held it between two fingers. "I’m not happy here anymore, Patrick." Her eyes went a little unfocused. "I’m not sure I ever really was. My time with Leigh made me understand what I’ve been. There’s no going back now. Not for me."

"RJ –"

"I know it sounds strange, but I really think that we were meant to be together. I’m going to find a way to make it happen."

The two men exchanged knowing looks. "You’re going to get your heart broken all over again. What if you’re told no again?"

"I won’t be told no. I love her and I’ll follow her to the ends of the earth if I must." Her voice was growing stronger and more confident with every word. "I’m going to get out of Glory. I’m going to find her, drop to my knees and beg her forgiveness, and, God willing, I’m going to spend the rest of my days with her."

Patrick regarded his sister carefully for a moment. She’d always had an eye for the ladies. But this was obviously different. "It’s true love, is it." It wasn’t a question.

"Absolutely." She nodded. "I’ve spent the last few months trying to forget and trying to convince myself otherwise, but it can’t be done. I’ve tried to play by the rules and forget what I shouldn’t crave. But I can’t! She has my heart, boys. And it’s time she knew that."

"Then I wish you all the luck in the world," Patrick said seriously.

"You’re going to need it," Liam warned.

Patrick flicked his cigarette at his brother. "Be quiet, shit for brains. She’s made up her mind. Have you ever known her not to get her way eventually once that’s happened?"

Liam happily picked up the cigarette and took a long drag. "No," he admitted finally. "I guess I haven’t."

Patrick looked smug. "If she means that much to RJ, then they should be together."

"And we will be," RJ said firmly. "We will."

***

The rain came down in steady, endless sheets as Leigh’s truck speed toward Fitz’s diner. The rhythmic swaying of the windshield wipers were only making it harder for Leigh to stay awake.

After a few hours of the most restful sleep she’d had in months, Leigh had kissed Judith on her cheek and said her goodbyes. Properly this time. She’d said she’d stop by again sometime, for a burger and some conversation. And Judith had nodded; though in her heart she didn’t think she’d be seeing this particular woman again, she had long ago learned to never say never.

That morning seemed far away to Leigh as she slowed her rig for a slow-moving car. She felt drained, but hopeful. Hopeful that she could talk RJ into giving them another chance, hopeful that her destiny was in her own hands and not someone else’s.

Leigh had replayed their last moments together endlessly since she’d driven away from the diner. At first, she couldn’t see beyond her own anger and pain. But last night as she told Judith what had happened, for the first time, she could look beyond her own emotions and focus on RJ. Not only on the words that had broken her heart. But on the taller woman’s face. On her eyes. On the slight quiver of her chin and the way she ducked her head as she spoke. These were all clues that helped her wade through her confusion and resentment. She hadn’t read RJ wrong. The woman was in love with her. Leigh could see it in those soulful green eyes, feel it whenever they touched. Now all she had to do was make RJ see it too. Nothing was going to stop her.

In her lap sat the small black bear. She lifted it to her lips and kissed it softly as her eyes grew impossibly heavy. The turnoff for the diner and Glory are around here somewhere. She yawned. I know it. Her thoughts began to drift to RJ and finding her. And her eyelids fluttered shut.

Then she was floating and dreaming.

***

Leigh trudged up a small hill, running her palms along the tops of the tall, wet grass as she walked. The sun was shining and a cool breeze gently washed over her. Every step was hard, but she knew down deep inside that if she could just make it over the hill …

At the top, she shielded her eyes from the sun with the back of her hand and peered down the other side. It was the edge of a town, quaint and clean. "Glory," she said excitedly. "It has to be."

In a far-off way she realized she was dreaming, that none of this was real. But she didn’t care. It simply didn’t matter as she ran as fast as she could down the long, gradually flattening terrain, teddy bear clutched tightly in her hand. The air smelled like summer blossoms and the wind was at her back, pushing her toward her destination.

Finally, panting, she stepped onto the damp sidewalk and slowed her pace. Spinning in a circle she looked around at the neat rows of houses and lush trees that lined both sides of the street. She could hear the faint music of an ice cream truck and the sound of children laughing and Leigh laughed. It’s a Stepford town, she thought wryly, deciding instantly that she really didn’t mind.

A tiny weathered-looking woman approached her, shuffling along in the opposite direction. "Well," Mrs. Amos stopped and smiled at Leigh. "It’s about time you got here."

Leigh blinked. "What do you–"

"Never mind, dear." Mrs. Amos patted her arm gently. "You’re here now and that’s all that matters."

Leigh shook her head a little. "Is … is this Glory?"

"Of course. And we had all our potholes filled last spring," she finished proudly. In her estimation it never hurt to show off that little fact.

Leigh stared at the woman. "Uh … okay. Glad to hear it. By any chance you don’t know a –"

"She’ll be in the park about now. I’m certain." Mrs. Amos extended her arm and pointed a gnarled finger in the direction Leigh had been heading. "It’s in the very center of town. You can’t miss it. There’s a lovely fountain right in the middle." She gave Leigh a little shove. "Go on now. I can’t stand the thought of her moping another second. It’s only a block or so away."

Leigh grinned and took off running. When she rounded the corner she could see RJ and Pete sitting on a shaded bench, talking. She froze, suddenly unsure of what she was going to say. Thankfully, she was spared too long to worry over it because as soon as she came into view, RJ’s head snapped up and their eyes locked. RJ shot to her feet and she could see her gesture wildly and say something nasty to Pete, who flinched.

"Okay." Leigh licked her lips nervously. "Now or never." As fast as her feet would carry her, she closed the remaining distance between them.

RJ opened her arms and Leigh flew into them, her impact knocking the taller woman back into the damp grass. Each woman’s lips frantically sought the other’s and they kissed deeply.

"Leigh," RJ breathed, backing away just enough to kiss the trucker’s chin and cheeks. "What are you doing here, lass? God, you can’t be here." She was shaking. "You can’t."

Leigh kissed her again. "I am here. And I’m not going anywhere." The bear fell forgotten on the soft grass alongside RJ, and she pinned the larger woman with strong arms. "Get used to it, RJ. You’re stuck with me."

RJ shook her head wildly. "Dammit! No!" She pried Leigh’s hands from her shirt and jumped to her feet to square off against Pete, who was trying his best to blend in with the background. "What the hell is this, Pete! She does not belong here." The words were nearly spat, and Pete couldn’t help but back off a step.

"I belong with you," Leigh protested.

RJ grabbed Leigh’s shoulders and gave them a desperate shake. "You don’t understand! You don’t know what you’re saying."

Leigh’s eyes flashed. "I do know."

"RJ," Pete held both hands up in surrender. "She does belong here. She’s right. You’re meant to be together.

RJ advanced a step, her eyes daring Pete to retreat another inch. "Not like this. She’s got a lifetime to live. No, Peter. You can undo this. You fix this!" she shouted.

Leigh’s head was snapping back and forth between them. Why should Pete care one way or the other?

"There’s nothing to fix," Pete said firmly.

RJ closed her eyes and tilted her head back as she growled out in frustration.

Leigh’s gentle touch on her face drew her attention downward. "I don’t understand," she said honestly. "I know you love me. Why won’t you let us be together?"

RJ’s heart clenched at the words. "You don’t truly understand, Leigh. Or you wouldn’t be here."

"But I want us to be together." Leigh stamped her foot furiously. "Why is that so hard to understand?"

RJ pulled her close. "You have to go back."

"She can’t," Pete interrupted. His eyes softened as he spoke to his old friend. Flea, who had been watching the scene from her lounging spot under the large oak tree, jumped up onto Peter’s shoulder and rubbed her face against his cheek. "She’s been on the road to Glory for a while now, Fitz." He spread his hands out in entreaty. "Now is the right time, for you both. Accept it."

"I won’t!"

"You don’t have a choice."

RJ shot Pete an evil look and focused her attention on Leigh. "Lass, you need to listen to me. And listen good." She cupped her cheek, stroking Leigh’s cheekbones with her thumbs. She looked tired and thin, and RJ ached for the pain they’d both already endured. "You can’t be with me. You’d have to give up too much."

"I’ll give up anything," came the immediate answer.

"Your friends? Your job? Your whole life?"

"Yes." Her voice was resolute.

"You can’t! We cannot be together." RJ felt tears well up in her eyes. "Not in this place. Not now."

"But why?"

RJ pressed two fingers against Leigh’s lips to quiet her. "Because it’s not your time. This place is beyond the life you know. Beyond everything you know."

"I can do Mayberry!" Leigh protested.

"Why does everyone keep calling it that?" Pete whispered to Flea.

The cat meowed grumpily.

RJ let out a frustrated breath. But when she opened her mouth speak, it was Pete’s stern words that broke the silence.

"Ask her, RJ."

"Damn you, Peter. Don’t you say that! I don’t have to do that yet. She’s not ready."

Pete smiled sadly. Why did Fitz always have to be such a pain in the ass? "Ask her," he repeated patiently.

"You don’t need to ask me anything," Leigh broke in. "I need to stay here. I need to be with you. I don’t have a life on the road. I want you to be my family. Families should be together."

Hot tears spilled down RJ’s cheeks, and Leigh reached up and tenderly wiped them away. She bent over and retrieved the bear, pressing it into RJ’s hands. "You’re my heart’s desire, RJ. I love you and we were meant to be together. No matter what."

The words were still hanging when Leigh gasped and clutched her chest. Her legs felt wobbly, and it suddenly seemed as though she couldn’t breathe.

RJ wrapped long arms tightly around Leigh, and the younger woman buried her face against RJ’s chest.

"Hang on, lass." She squeezed Leigh as close to her as she could, melding their bodies together and feeling Leigh’s pounding heartbeat begin to fade …

***

"C’mon! Hurry."

"Done." The fireman lifted his welder’s mask as he moved out of the way and a young paramedic scooted around him, dropping herself into Leigh’s partially crushed cab. The rain cooled his sweaty skin and after a moment he called down to the woman. "Is she alive?" He glanced past the milling fire, police and ambulance crew at the highway.

"Barely."

Tossing his wet mask aside, he peered down past the deflated airbag and the twisted pieces of metal. He spoke conversationally as the paramedic worked frantically. There was only room for one in the cab with Leigh so there was nothing he could do. "No skid marks. She didn’t touch the brakes. Booze, do you think?"

"Doubtful," the woman answered as she fumbled for a chest tube in her bag. "Last trucker I worked on like this had me sitting on a mountain of beer cans. She probably just fell asleep."

"Little thing for such a big rig." He squinted and imagined her face without the blood. "Young and pretty too." He shook his head. "Damn shame." There was no answer but he didn’t take offense. The paramedic was focusing on her patient.

"Shit. She’s coding." The woman reached around the mangled steering wheel and pressed harder into Leigh’s throat, trying to find a pulse. "We’ve got to get her out of here now!"

Two other men joined the fireman at her words. "Paddles?"

"I can’t." She tossed her bag straight up and it was plucked out the air by one of the waiting fireman. "Can’t get the right angle. Now, Steve." Her voice had a renewed urgency. "Or it’s not going to matter."

***

"That’s it," RJ continued to hang onto Leigh, supporting nearly all of her weight. "It’s almost over, love."

Leigh suddenly gasped. Her eyes popped open as cool, clean air tinged with the scent of her lover’s skin filled her senses and the pressure on her chest began to ease. "RJ?" she questioned weakly, trying to put some weight back on her own two feet.

"I’m here. Relax against me." A small smile touched her lips when Leigh instantly did just that.

"What –" she paused and swallowed, slowly pushing away from RJ’s protective arms. "What happened?" Leigh looked around with wide eyes. Her senses all seemed magnified, and she could feel the breeze caress the downy hair that covered her skin. Then she glanced up into eyes that had always called to her and fell all over again into their endless affection and warm devotion.

RJ thought for a moment about how to say this and then decided to simply be blunt. If ever there was a woman who appreciated blunt, it was Leigh Matthews. "You died."

Leigh’s eyes widened and her mouth formed a tiny ‘O.’

RJ reached out to steady her, but she didn’t falter.

Finally, Leigh muttered, "Wow."

Leigh ran a hand through her hair. "Oh, man. Oh, man. Are you sure I’m not just insane? I’m not going to wake up hungover someplace?"

"No, darlin’. You’re really here." RJ’s gaze slid sideways to Pete. She saw the question in his eyes and nodded quietly. It wasn’t what she wanted for Leigh. But there was no way on earth she was going to give her back now.

Pete smiled and reached up to pet Flea, grateful that he wasn’t going to have to find a new place to live. RJ was not the sort of person you wanted pissed off at you for an eternity.

The pilot let Leigh have a moment to at least scratch the surface of a process that would take a while, knowing she’d have a million and one questions but hoping to convey the most important stuff first. She had half-expected Leigh to freak out. That hadn’t exactly happened yet, and somehow RJ found that infinitely scarier. "Are you all right?"

"I … um …" Leigh took stock of her body. She felt lighter and stronger than ever, though a quick look at her body confirmed that she now had back the weight she’d lost over the past three months. A bird flew overhead and his call sounded sweet and pristine. It was as though she had been viewing the world through a light fog and now the fog was simply gone. Every last bit of her, at least physically, felt fabulous. "Yeah. I don’t know how that’s possible. She pinched herself. "Ouch."

RJ laughed. Everyone did that.

"I feel great," Leigh said in amazement. She reached out and laid her palms against RJ’s chest. She felt a heartbeat and her chest’s steady rise and fall. Then she removed one hand and placed it against her own chest and frowned. "My heart is beating? But I’m still dead?"

"Yes. And you eat and sleep and do all those things you did before. Only you’re not quite so ruled by your physical self. I’ll explain it all.

"And you’re dead too?"

RJ nodded and let out a slow breath. "For sixty years now. Though I was allowed a second chance at life with you when we went our trip. When you dropped me back at the diner our time together was finished, Leigh. I swear, I didn’t want to leave you. But I had no choice."

Leigh put her hands on her hips. "So that’s why you dumped me like yesterday’s trash? Because you were some sort of ghost?"

"I am no such thing." RJ looked aghast. "And just remember, whatever it is I am, you are too." Her face went serious. "I did what I thought would give you a life, Leigh. Because I love you. And for no other reason."

Leigh’s eyes narrowed. She reached out and grabbed and handful of RJ’s shirt, pulling them nose to nose. "We’ve got a lot to talk about. But this very second there is only question I have."

"Yes?" RJ asked reluctantly.

"Are we in this …" She gestured broadly. "Whatever you call it. Life or next life ... together?"

"Forever."

"Promise?"

"That’s two questions."

"Shut up."

"Gladly." RJ pulled Leigh into a crushing embrace and occupied her mouth with something far more pleasurable than talking.

Leigh moaned her approval at RJ’s choice and hoped it was one her lover would make for lifetimes to come.

Pete sighed. It wasn’t unmanly to shed a tear for true love, was it?

Flea jumped off his shoulder, and they both began strolling toward Pete’s car. Over their shoulders they heard Leigh exclaim delightedly, "I knew I could never love anyone who owned a piece of shit!"

Pete laughed. "I guess she finally got a glimpse of RJ’s truck in all its glory."

Flea padded along quietly, ignoring Pete and already thinking ahead to the next glorious time she could finagle two more squirrels into Glory.

"Maybe we should change the name." Pete opened the door and Flea jumped in, taking her customary spot on the dashboard.

She looked at Pete.

The big man rolled his eyes. "But everyone already calls it Mayberry! Why fight it? And no, I will not submit the request to you in triplicate. I don’t care what you say."

Flea licked her paw with an air of boredom and superiority that could only be possessed by a cat.

"Fine," Pete huffed. "But don’t blame me if you drown under a mound of paper work."

Flea closed her eyes for a short nap. They were serving liver at the diner tonight, and she wanted to be rested and ready when it came time to chow down. She had her priorities.

"And another thing …"

If Pete didn’t stop droning on and on and on, Flea was going to be forced to do something drastic. The last time that had happened the world ended up with the platypus. And that was before she’d really gotten creative and learned what antifreeze could do.

***

"So this is your brilliant plan?"

"We’re not currently being digested by Flea, are we?"

"No," the male groused. "I suppose not."

The male and female squirrels scampered across the hot roof of the garage that sat next to Fitz’s diner, heading for the forgotten hammer they’d seen from their nest. "The human female should really be more careful. Leaving a heavy object on a slanted roof could be dangerous."

"For our sake, you’d better hope so." The female plopped herself down next to the hammer, breathing heavily. "Okay, do I need to repeat myself?"

"No! I started paying attention after the fourth time you went over your instructions." He puffed out his chest. "I can handle this. No problem."

The female’s blood went cold at his words.

"Really," he insisted.

"Uh huh."

"Really!"

"Fine." She moved away from the hammer. "Hang your head over the edge and see if she’s still sleeping down there."

Her mate peered warily over the edge of the tall roof. "Yup. The fat cat is lying there sound asleep." He laughed gleefully. She was about to meet her maker.

The female shrugged. "So, push the hammer over the edge and squish her."

"It’s a brilliant plan."

She beamed. "I know." I knew there was a reason I married him.

The male spit on his hands and began to push.

The hammer didn’t move.

He gave it a withering glare and then threw his scrawny back into it, grunting loudly. "I…" Grunt. "Can’t… move." Grunt. Grunt. "Move it."

"I can see that."

He stood up, sweat pouring off his furry brow. "Help me! I need your bulk."

"Ooooo, that sounds so sexy!"

He winked charmingly. "Later. After the felinocide."

The female began to push on the hammer along with her mate and little by little the heavy tool moved closer to the edge. Where it stopped.

The male burst into tears. "Why can’t any of our plans succeed? It’s not fair!"

The female uncharacteristically joined her mate and burst into tears too. How much could one rodent be expected to handle? "I don’t know!" she sobbed. "But let’s try one more time."

They both began to push with all their might, and magically, somehow, the hammer began to move. Unfortunately, so did Flea. At the last second the female tried to stop the hammer and change its trajectory. But she lost her balance and stood helplessly, teetering on the very edge of the roof.

"Help! Help!"

For a long moment her mate was paralyzed by fear. Okay, he was really deciding whether or not to give her a good shove. But figuring that it wouldn’t get rid of her permanently, he decided to save her. Sadly, he tripped along the way. The male fell straight forward and slammed into his mate, sending them both off of the roof and careening toward the ground at frightening speed.

"AHH!!" the tangled Ball O’Squirrel screamed.

***

"AHH!!" Randi sat bolt upright in bed, sweat dripping liberally from her face and neck. Panting and wide-eyed, she flicked her gaze around the shadow-filled bedroom.

Mac threw her hand across Randi’s lap. "Go back to sleep," she slurred tiredly, never bothering to open her eyes.

"I can’t." Her chest was heaving. "God, I … it was the most fantastic dream."

"That’s nice," Mac answered into her pillow.

"You were in it, but your eyes were the wrong color and you were a truck driver with a naked woman on the side of your truck." Randi looked down at her naked lover. "She was hot, by the way."

Mac only grunted.

"And I was a handyman in heaven or some other screwed up place where you go when you die." She made a face. That part had never been very clear. How pathetic. "And the squirrels from the park, the ones who spy on us, they were there too."

Mac lifted her head tiredly. Her hair was plastered to the side of her face, and she opened one eye to stare at Randi. "I told you to stop going to that park and talking to them. It’s creepy."

"It is not."

A pale eyebrow lifted.

"Okay, it is. But I swear they’re talking about us. I just know it."

Mac’s head flopped back down. "They’re rodents, Randi. They can’t talk."

"That’s what you think."

"Yes," she pushed herself up again and kissed Randi gently on the lips, smiling at the sweet contact. "That’s what I think. I also think that I’m going back to sleep and that you should too." She sighed. No more burritos before bed for her.

Randi looked annoyed but didn’t have a real reason to argue. It was the middle of the night. "Okay. Good night, stalker."

"Don’t call me that," Mac mumbled softly.

Randi straightened their covers and glared at the fat, black cat with golden eyes that was lying at the foot of their bed. She sneered. "I hate you."

The cat purred happily.

"I don’t care if Mac did run you down with that godawful Volkswagen of hers," she grumbled petulantly. "You’re going to the pound tomorrow."

"Stop lying to the cat," Mac interrupted unexpectedly. "She knows it was you that hit her. Not me. And she’s staying until she’s healed. Go to sleep."

"Fine." Randi lay back down and pulled the sheet up to her neck. She glared at the feline. "Stop mocking me!"

"Randi," Mac warned.

"Okay. Okay. If she has to stay at least we can give her a name."

"I already did that this afternoon while you were calling all the shelters and cursing them out for not taking injured cats."

"Well, what is it?"

Mac rolled over and fluffed her pillow before closing her eyes again and groaning inwardly. She had to work the next morning. "Flea."

"AHH!!"

Unseen in the darkness, Flea just grinned.

THE END.  

Author’s Note: Make sure to send your necrophilia comments to TN. I just know she’ll appreciate those J . Her addy is back up in the disclaimers.

Ummm…As I’m proofreading this final draft, I see this snarky little comment that my writing partner made <G>. I’m pretty sure she put it here just to see if I was paying attention. Soooooooo since I AM paying attention you can direct all those comments to her. I’ll even by nice and supply her addy here <GBG> advocate8704@yahoo.com I’m sure she’ll enjoy it. TN

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