The water bucket pulled at her hands, and Gabrielle wondered again how shed been talked into cleaning the floors. She imagined it was the guilt Lila had laid on her at lunch, but deep inside, Gabrielle knew it was simply that doing hard chores kept her mind off having to tell her parents about Xena. She didnt know why telling them bothered her so much. In so many ways shed moved past needing their approval, but for some reason she wanted them to still love her, and telling them that shed decided to spend her whole life with another woman was not something they were going to like.
"How could they?" Gabrielle muttered to herself as she hefted the dirty water bucket over the railing.
It bothered her that her parents would be so disapproving of her choice, yet they seemed to support what had happened to Lila. Lila, Gabrielle thought. When had things gotten so bad between them? Gabrielle couldnt blame her sister for feeling the way she did. The bard had run out, leaving her younger sister to fill both their roles. Shed never thought what it would be like for her sister to have to handle that. She looked out across the yard, her eyes settling on the outline of Tyrone napping the backyard hammock.
"I didnt do right by her before," Gabrielle said, putting the bucket down and starting towards Tyrone. "But I can make sure shes going to be all right this time."
Tyrone didnt move when Gabrielle approached, and she thought that perhaps he was asleep, but she resolved herself to waking him up.
"Nice day, isnt it?"
Tyrone grunted.
"I was noticing on the way home that the town is overrun with sheep. Shouldnt they be in a pasture or something. I mean, that is your job, right?" She didnt know why shed started out so aggressive with him, but realized that she really didnt think he was good for her sister.
Tyrone answered again with a short grunt.
"You know, I live with someone who does the grunting routine. Ive gotten very good at working past that. Want to know how?"
Instead of grunting, Tyrone rolled over onto his side, the swinging motion of the hammock almost knocking into her.
"Well, I just keep talking and talking until you are so annoyed with the sound of my voice that you just start talking back. It usually works in a couple of minutes, which might say something about the tenor of my voice, or just the way I can go on and on. What do you think?"
This time Tyrone made no sound or movement.
"Oh, so you think youre a tough one, huh? I guess I dont really need you to talk back, so just listen," Gabrielle said, taking a step closer. "Lila has told me about this arrangement, and the reason for it. While I wont say anything about that ... I will tel you this. She is my sister, and if you treat her badly ... even once ... youll find yourself in a heap of trouble. I have the ability to make your life and your fathers life miserable."
Tyrone swung around in the hammock and stared at her. Gabrielle gave his a hard nod to confirm what shed said.
"Youd do that? Youd really make my fathers life miserable? How?"
Gabrielle blinked. Shed never heard him say so much, and she hadnt expected him to respond at all. Now she didnt know what to say.
"Off the top of my head," she began. "I dont know. But Ive got some pretty powerful friends ..." she let the sentence dangle.
"Would you do it ... even if I dont treat Lila badly?"
"Why would I?" Gabrielle asked, suddenly confused by the turn in the conversation.
"If I asked you. Would you?"
"Dont you like your father?"
"No!" Tyrone cried. "Hes a jerk. Always trying to control me and make me do stuff I dont want ... making me do things he knows I hate. Like sheep. I hate sheep."
"And hes making you marry my sister, right?" Gabrielle drew the logical conclusion.
"No! I wouldve married Lila anyway. I love her. What happened ... well, I would have done what was right with or without my father."
"Tyrone ... treat her well and Ill always help you two, but stop that and youll find yourself looking at a long line of enemies," she said, putting the final touches on what shed wanted to say. "But as for your dad ... if you dont like the way he treats you then leave. Start a new life away from him and his money. You and Lila can do it."
"I do want to be an actor," he said quietly. "Dad thinks its stupid, but Lilas the only one who ever thought I could do it. She believes in me."
Gabrielle just stared, knowing a stunned look played upon her face. Tyrone shook his head. "I knew you wouldnt understand. You probably think its a stupid idea, too."
"No!," Gabrielle protested. "Its just I guess I didnt give my sister credit for seeing something that may be hidden from everyone else."
"Lilas special like that, I guess," Tyrone said, with a half grin.
"She is," Gabrielle agreed.
"Course she was scared to death of your coming home. Its all Ive heard about. Your parents think youre something else, you know. And all they talked about was how youve been corrupted by that Xena."
"Thats something Ill have to talk to them about."
"Course I dont think theres anything wrong with you. In fact, I think Im kinda glad I met you ... finally."
"Well, Im glad we had this talk," Gabrielle said, running her hand through her hair.
"Gabrielle ... Ill treat Lila right. I promise."
"Thats all I wanted to hear. And I know that whenever you ..."
Gabrielle stopped speaking, a loud excited scream coming from the house. She turned just in time to catch Hecuba and Herodotus practically running from the house, with Lila and Joxer close on their heels. Tyrone climbed out of the hammock, and Gabrielle found herself backing up from the look of anticipation on her mothers face.
"Gabrielle!" Hecuba cried, her arms thrown wide as she rushed at her daughter. "Why didnt you tell me!?!"
"Tell you what?" Gabrielle said, holding her hands up to ward off her mothers advance.
"Daughter, we are so proud of you," Herodotus said, a smile lighting his otherwise emotionless face.
Hecuba wouldnt take no for an answer, and she pulled Gabrielle into a tight embrace. "Im so proud of you, my little pumpkin. My little girl, my sweetie."
"Whats going on?" Gabrielle breathed, crushed in the hug.
"As if you dont know. Very clever playing us like that, Gabrielle ... but we finally got it out of Joxer."
"Joxer?" Gabrielle said, her green eyes flashing towards her friend, who was trying very hard to look sly.
"Of course, youre dress is all wrong now. Well have to have a white one made up immediately. No bridesmaids dresses for a bride!" She turned to Lila. "Now, you ... run to the seamstress and have her start immediately. Well pay whatever, so long as its ready by tomorrow."
"But momma ... what if Gabrielle ..."
"Lila ... you and your disgusting ideas about your sister and that horrible Xena. I wont listen to you bad mouth her anymore. Gabrielle has proven herself!" She turned back to Gabrielle. "Honey, why didnt you tell me at least? Im your mother!"
"Momma ... listen ..." Lila tried again, but Hecuba turned on her. "Enough, Lila. Go have the dress taken care of, and not another word ... you hear me?"
"Daughter, you know how happy it will make us to see you happy and settled. Joxer loves your very much, dear ... and that makes us very happy."
"But Daddy ..."
"Gabby, let your parents have their moment, honey," Joxer said, stepping closer, but still standing at arms length. "This is what they want, you know."
"Such a good girl," Hecuba said, before throwing her hands up. "Oh, I have so many things to do! But first I have to tell those old pea-hens about you getting married. They had some strange ideas about you ... but now everythings all worked out." Hecuba turned and started off across the yard. Gabrielle watched, her mouth slightly open, and her heart pounding in her ears. Her father reached out and touched her shoulder.
"Well done, dear. Im glad you finally came to your senses."
"Whats that supposed to mean?" she demanded.
"Nothing, dear. Now, Im back to my book." He walked back towards the house, mumbling to himself, "very proud. Very proud, indeed."
Gabrielle turned and pinned Joxer with her eyes. "Youre a dead man," she said, taking a determined step towards him.
"Um, I think I should leave you two alone," Tyrone said, stepping away. "Maybe Ill go look for the sheep or something."
"What on earth are you thinking, Joxer? Telling my parents were getting married! Have you completely lost what little bit of your mind you have left?"
"Now, Gabrielle ..."
"I dont believe this! Now howm I supposed to tell them? Did you see the look on their faces? Gods, Joxer ... what have you done to me?"
"But I thought maybe ..."
"If we got married, Id love you. Not likely."
"Oh, I see," Joxer said, crestfallen.
"Joxer," Gabrielle said, feeling a little guilty. "I do love you. Like a brother. Nothing more. Itll never be anything more."
"But ..."
"No, buts, it just aint gonna happen. And now youve put me into quite a situation." She looked at the house. "So, which way do I break my parents hearts?"
--- XI ---
The evening was quite festive in the house, and Herodotus surprised everyone by lifting a toast to his two daughters. Hecuba kept wiping at tears, and Lila rolled her eyes. After dinner, Gabrielle found she had a terrible headache, and excused herself from the party. Lila offered to come with her, but the bard shook her head, trudging her way up the stairs to her room.
"So, Joxer," Herodotus said, patting a spot on the sofa next to him. "Where do you and my little girl plan on settling down?"
"Um, well, you see, its like this ... we havent talked about that."
"You can always live in Poteidaia," Hecuba chimed in with a smile. "Its a nice place to live. Good schools, nice parks, and we could use a strong warrior to protect us."
"Uh, thats really very nice of you, um ... Ill talk to Gabrielle."
"Shouldnt you talk to Gabrielle about something else first, Joxer?" Lila said, handing a cup of wine to Tyrone. "I dont like my sisters feelings messed with."
"Lighten up, Lila," Hecuba said. "Its a party. Quit being a stick in the mud." A knock at the door drew her away from Lila, and her face lit up. "I bet thats some more neighbors wanting to give congratulations." She stood. "Joxer, you stay here. Theyll want to meet you."
Hecuba crossed to the door, throwing it open with a smile, only to lose her happiness in an instant.
"Oh, its you," she said, blocking the door with her body. "What do you want?"
"Id like to see Gabrielle, please," Xena said, her face the picture of control.
"Shes busy. You can see her tomorrow at the wedding, if you promise not to break everything up."
"I know, and I want to congratulate her."
"Ill give her your message," Hecuba said, trying to close the door. "Poor girl has a headache from all the excitement. Thanks for stopping by."
"Mother, let Xena in ... shes a friend of the family," Lila said, almost prying the door away from her mothers hand. "Xena, its good to see you. Please come in."
"Thanks, Lila. I also wanted to congratulate you," Xena said, stepping into the room, and ignoring the cold look from Hecuba. "Youll be a beautiful bride."
"Theyll both be beautiful," Hecuba said, stalking over to retrieve her wine glass. "Does that bother you, Xena? Gabrielle getting married, that is?"
"Um, Xena ..." Joxer said, pulling at his armor, and swallowing hard.
"Joxer, Im happy for you both. Its okay."
"Damn straight, its okay. Gabrielle is free of you now."
"Hecuba," Herodotus said, touching his wifes arm. "Calm down. This is a happy time, and Xena is a friend of our daughter. Shes, of course, welcome."
"Gabrielle is upstairs in her room," Lila said, motioning to the stairs. Xena nodded and moved towards the stairs.
"Why dont you leave her alone?" Hecuba said, pointing at her with her wine cup. "Shes better off without you."
"And Im sure youd know," Xena replied, stopping on the first step. "Why dont you just keep drinking that wine, Hecuba, from what I hear youve got quite a taste for it."
Xena shook her head and continued up the stairs, Hecuba staring after her. "Why the nerve!" she said, sitting on the sofa in a huff. "What in the name of Hades is she doing here anyway? Cant she get it through her head that Gabrielle doesnt want what shes offering?"
"Mother?" Lila said, taking a seat next to Tyrone. "Shut up."
Hecuba blinked twice and stared at her daughter. Joxer leaned forward and picked up a deck of cards. "Anyone for a game?" he said, waving the cards.
--- XII ---
The knock at her bedroom door made Gabrielle pull the pillow tighter over her head. "Go away," she mumbled into the feathers. The second knock was louder, and the bard threw the pillow at the door. "Go away! My head still hurts!"
"Gabrielle, its me."
"Xena!" she whispered, throwing herself off the bed and across the room. She pulled back the door, and threw herself into the warriors arms. "I knew youd come!"
"Whoa! Not so tight. I like my ribs in one piece."
"Xena ... damn, Im mad at you!" the bard said, pushing off the warrior, and storming back into her room. She grabbed her stuffed bear, holding it tightly to her chest, and sank onto the bed. A slight smile crossed Xenas face as she closed the door and leaned against the wood.
"What trouble are you in this time?"
"Like you just didnt get an earful downstairs? Howd you ever get past my proud parents?"
Xena shrugged. "I insulted your mother, I think."
Gabrielle stared at her for a moment and then nodded. "Good. She deserved it."
"I leave you for a few days, and you fall into Joxers arms," Xena said, affecting a hurt tone. "So much for true love."
"If you joke now, Ill kill you," Gabrielle said, her green eyes flamed for a second before she took a deep breath. "What am I going to do?"
"Looks like your game went bad on you," Xena commented nonchalantly. "I told ..."
"Dont you dare tell me you told me so! I didnt have any options."
Xena crossed the room, and sat down next to her lover. "There are always options, Gabrielle. Always." She resisted the urge to push back an errant lock of blonde hair. "But you played your game, and now it looks like youve created quite a mess."
Gabrielle shrugged, determined to not admit to her faults.
"So, what color is your wedding dress?" Xena asked, barely keeping the mirth from her voice.
"Dont joke, Xena," Gabrielle said, gently slapping the warrior. "This is serious. I dont know what to do."
"Looks like youre going to marry Joxer."
"I told you to quit joking! I liked it better when I thought you didnt have a sense of humor. Now I know its just sick."
Xena raised an eyebrow, but bit back the retort. Ill let that one pass," she said, touching the bards hand. "But it looks like you have to tell them."
"About us? And kill them? No, thanks. Id rather just sneak out in the middle of the night, and wait for this to all blow over."
"Didnt you already do that once?"
"Well, I found you. You complaining?"
"Gabrielle ... theyre your parents. Theyll love you no matter what you say," Xena said, with a weak smile. "I dont need their acceptance, so telling them or not doesnt matter to me. But it does to you. Why?"
The bard scooted away on the bed, pulling the stuffed bear tighter against her chest. "Theyre my parents, Xena. Are you trying to tell me that you dont want your mothers forgiveness and love? Or what about those years you hoped and prayed youd see your father again?"
"Fine," Xena said, holding up a hand. "Ill admit to that, but I wouldnt let what my mother might think about us make me love you less." Xena took a breath. "And why do you really need their approval so much?"
"Meaning?"
"Meaning they are just as messed up as everyone else. Maybe a little worse. Your dad lives in his own world. Your mother dri ... has her own problems. Lila is trying to find out who she is outside the family. So, why does the idea of telling them about us frighten you so much."
Gabrielle looked away. "Because maybe theyll stop loving me."
"But I wont."
"I know," Gabrielle said, reaching a hand out to Xena. "But its not the same. I know that your love means more to me than anything, but their love means something too. It fills a place in me, and it defines a lot of who I am."
"And its worth it to deceive them?"
Gabrielle dropped the warriors hand. "I dont understand why Joxer would say that. I know hes ..."
"Gabrielle ... its not Joxers fault youre in this situation. You created it, and you have to deal with it. Ill support you ... you know that. But you have to finish this."
The bard looked at her for a very long time, and finally nodded. Xena returned the nod, an understanding passing between them. The warrior got to her feet.
"Well, Id better go before they decide Ive abducted you, or something."
"Ill take the or something," Gabrielle said, holding out her hand, and settling back against the headboard. "Cmere," she said, pulling Xena down onto the bed. "Ive missed you."
Xena settled back, her hand falling across Gabrielles thigh. "Me, too. Other than your ... um ... plan ... hows the homecoming been?"
Gabrielles head settled against the warriors shoulder. "Its been a living nightmare, Xena. Really."
"Uh-huh. You want to tell me about it, dont you?" Xena said, feeling a quiet peace settling over her.
"Well, I am a bard," Gabrielle replied, her fingers running up and down Xenas arm.
"Im listening," the warrior replied, determined to concentrate on her loves words and not her actions. Maybe.
--- XIII ---
The sunlight sparkled across the ice statue of Aphrodite as the delivery man maneuvered it into place in the center of the buffet table. Two waiters began arguing over the placement of several dozen flower arrangements, and the one waiter pushed at another which almost took out the rose trellis set up at the end of a long runway. Joxer just missed become a part in an altercation between the bartender and the chef who were fighting over which wine to serve with the lamb.
The wanna-be warrior straightened his puffy white shirt, and then pulled conspicuously at his tight pants, which were obviously riding up his crack. He look around quickly to see if anyone saw, and then proceeded to walk over to where Tyrone and Herodotus were sitting at a table under an expansive oak tree.
Herodotus stood, and pulled Joxer into a tight embrace. "My sons," he said, smiling down at Tyrone, who ran a hand nervously through his dark hair, his face a little green. "Ive always wanted sons!"
"Our babies are getting married, Hero. Can you believe that?" Hecuba said, walking up. "And to such good ... strong ... men." She pulled a handkerchief from her sleeve and dabbed her eyes.
"Um, well," Joxer said, backing up slightly. "Maybe I should ..."
"No! You cant see Gabrielle until the ceremony," Hecuba cried, waving her handkerchief before his face. "Its our towns custom, and its considered back luck to see the bride before the ceremony."
"But I think I should tell you something."
"We know youre not a great warrior who has terrified everyone. We dont want that," Herodotus said, taking a seat next to Tyrone. " Wed rather you and Gabrielle ..."
"Not a great warrior! Whered you hear that? Ill cut the liars tongue out!"
"Has my father arrived?" Tyrone asked, holding a wet napkin to his perspiring forehead.
"He sent a messenger. He cant make it, but wishes you the best," Herodotus said, patting the boy on the shoulder. "Something about business in Phoenicia, I think."
"How typical," Tyrone spat.
"I need to see Gabrielle," Joxer said. "I dont think that we ..." He stopped speaking as Xena walked up to the table. Herodotus gave her a brief nod, and Hecuba smiled with an air of blatant superiority.
"Morning," she said, plucking a grape off the table arrangement and popping it into her mouth.
"You and Gabrielle seem to have spent the night talking," Herodotus said, his eyebrow raised slightly.
"Um ... yeah, she likes to do that," Xena replied, trying to hide a smirk
"This must be rough for you, Xena. I bet you never thought Gabrielle would dump you and get married," Hecuba said, crossing her arms, and daring the warrior to reply.
"About that ..." Joxer said.
"... No, Im very happy about Gabrielles choice. I only ever wanted her to be happy."
"Do you mean that?" Herodotus asked warily.
"Dont you?" Xena challenged. "Wouldnt you rather see your daughter, or daughters, happy instead of forcing them into your ideas of a perfect life?"
"What are you saying? That I dont want whats best for Gabrielle? Or Lila?"
"Me?" Xena said, pointing at herself. "No, Id never come between you and your daughter."
"You did before."
"Enough," Hecuba said. "This is a wedding day. Be happy."
"As long as Xena is here ..."
"... Well, Im not leaving."
"Can I say something?" Joxer asked.
"No," Xena answered. "Joxer, you should be supportive of Gabrielle when she needs it."
"At least I believe he will be supportive of my daughter. Not like you," Herodotus said.
"And what havent I done to support Gabrielle?"
"She has a duty ... to me, to her mother, and to this family. You took her away from all that."
Xena took a menacing step towards Herodotus. "And after getting to know you all better, Im glad I did."
"Thats it, Xena," Hecuba cried, pushing at the warriors shoulder. "We tolerate you because Gabrielle seems to think youre her friend ... but I wont stand by and let you insult us."
"And you insult her ... which I cant stand," Xena replied.
Hecuba blinked, until she felt Herodotus hand on her shoulder. "Dear, go check on our daughters. Xena and I are going to have a good talk."
--- XIV ---
The girls bedroom had seen better days, and if the variety of clothes strewn across the bed wasnt a good indication of the tension in the room, then one had only to look at the two sisters faces. Lila stood behind Gabrielle, the brush moving down the blonde hair with soft precision. Each time she lifted the brush her mouth opened to speak, but then closed with the down stroke. Gabrielle sat staring blankly at the wall, her face devoid of any emotion.
"Youre not going to go through with this, are you?" Lila finally asked, putting the brush down.
Gabrielle shrugged, her shoulders pinching before falling in despondency.
"You cant, Gabrielle! You have to stop it before ... I may be trapped here, but youre not."
The bard turned around, her green eyes searching her sisters face. "Youre not trapped either. If you want to be something different, then do it. Leave this town ... with or without Tyrone."
"But I love him," Lila said, sitting on the end of the bed.
"And he loves you. Thats all that matters. Follow your heart ... do what you want ... and dont care about what Mom and Dad think."
"Look whose talking."
"I know," Gabrielle said, turning back around. "I have to tell them. I just dont want to disappoint them again ... Hurt them again."
"But ... Oh, Gabrielle ... Howd we get ourselves into this, huh?"
She turned to answer when the door opened, and Hecuba walked in, a huge smile on her face. Gabrielle took a deep breath as her mothers smile faded.
"Whats this? Youre not dressed! Hurry, girls ... mustnt keep your men waiting. Your first lesson as a wife is to never make your man wait."
"I cant do this," Gabrielle said, pushing the flowered garland away. "Momma, I have to tell you something ..."
Hecuba crossed the room, and pulled Gabrielles head against her ample bosom. "I know, dear. You dont have to say anything. I know you only want to make your father and me happy. And, Gabby, honey, this is making us happy. Seeing you married and settled will make our last years joyous."
Gabrielle resisted the urge to hug her mother back, not knowing if this might be the last time shed be able to hug her. Instead, she pushed back slightly. "No, Mother ... I cant do this. Its not .. its not what you think ... Im not what you think."
"Aw, sweetie ... youre just nervous. Once you say your I dos then everything will be fine. Youll see."
The bard stared hard at her mother, and finally shook her head. "Is Xena outside. I need to see her."
Hecuba grabbed the brush and began driving it down Gabrielles head, making the bard wince. "Shes talking to your father. Hes going to ask her to leave ... and I cant blame him."
"No!" Gabrielle cried, standing up. "She cant leave me."
"Ill go get her, Gab," Lila said. "You and Mom ... well, Ill be back."
"Youll do no such thing! Get that dress on, and lets get your hair done, Lila." She pointed at the bard. "You, too, Gabrielle. I have to get some hair pins, and I want you both dressed when I come back."
--- XV ---
Xena lifted her cup of wine, her eyes watching Herodotus over the rim. The older man fiddled nervously with his cup, and the warrior couldnt help fearing what her friends father might say. She knew they had no good feelings for her, and while it bothered her that Gabrielles family disliked her, shed managed to learn to live with it. That was part of loving Gabrielle, and she promised herself that she would remain civil and in control with Herodotus. She drained the cup, and set it back on the table.
"I want her to be happy, Xena," he began, his gray eyes lowered. "Im not like her mother. Thats why I didnt come after you both when she left."
Xena raised an eyebrow at the admission. "I almost sent her home ... many, many times," she confessed in return.
"Why did you let her stay?"
She shrugged. "Because she wanted to. And I realized that I wanted her to stay also. Id never really had a friend like her. She just accepted me ... defended me ... and she ... " She stopped speaking before adding any more fuel to the fire she could see spreading in Herodotus eyes.
"I know what you are," he said, his voice hard. "And I dont like it. Its not for my daughter."
"I dont follow," Xena lied, knowing exactly what he was saying.
"Youre a woman of the world, Xena. I can see where your ... um ... preferences lie, and I dont want that to be Gabrielle."
"I see," she said. "So in other words, as long as Gabrielle does everything you want ... then you convince yourself shes happy. But the minute she strays, ... youll make her decisions."
"Youve confused her. Admit it, Xena. You manipulated a simple village girl into thinking shes in love with you ... all to satisfy your carnal lust."
Xena swallowed hard, her hand clenching and relaxing under the table as she fought every urge to grab this mans throat and squeeze. She saw him adopt a defensive pose, and she let his fear spread in his cowardly body before she began to speak. "It is only because of Gabrielle that you are still breathing, old man," she said, the tone of her words carrying her lethal intent. "Your daughter has never been a simple village girl, and shes never been confused. The best move she ever made was leaving here, and the gods be damned if Im going to put her back into this prison. For whatever reason, Gabrielle loves you all very much, and Im trying very hard to see why .. so for that reason, Ill forget what youve just said."
"Shes going to marry Joxer. Dont try and stop her."
"Ive never stopped Gabrielle from doing anything she wanted. If she wants to marry Joxer, then she will. Ill do nothing to change that."
Herodotus stood. "Thats all I wanted to know."
Xena looked up. "If she doesnt want to marry him ... then shell have my support," she said. "Will she have yours?"
"Are you questioning what I really want for my daughter?"
"Yes."
"You have a lot of nerve."
"So, Ive been told. But your daughter means a lot to me, and I wont force her into something she doesnt want. Seems you will, though."
"Thats it, Xena. I want you to leave this town. Your welcome has ended."
The warrior pulled a long leg up on the bench, and curled her arm around it. "Sorry, Pops, cant do that."
"Then Ill have you thrown out," Herodotus said, pointing at several burly men.
Xena affected a yawn. "Id like to see you try."
"Youve corrupted my daughter with your disgusting ways, and now youre going to stop her one chance at having a normal life. Some friend you are."
This time Xena stood, and leaned across the table, her hand reaching for Herodotus shirt, but falling to the wooden surface below. "Dont ever question my friendship with Gabrielle. I have and I will go to the ends of the earth for her."
"Then do whats right, and leave her alone."
"When she tells me to leave, Ill go. But I wont leave her because her father cant accept. And I certainly wont go because her mother wants to believe everything is perfect."
"Then Ill have Gabrielle tell you to leave shortly," Herodotus said, his eyes narrowing.
"Fine, you do that," Xena replied, resuming her seat.
--- XVI ---
"Im not going to let you do this, Gab," Lila said, settling her dress over her shoulders.
Gabrielle was fingering her own dress, and with a shrug pulled it on. "Ill handle it, Lila. Trust me."
"How?" Lila asked, turning around so Gabrielle could secure the back of her dress.
"Ill do it, Lila. I promised Xena I would, so I will. Ill tell them right before, then theres not much they can say, right?"
"Are you always this much trouble?"
Gabrielle smiled. "Xena thinks so ... But I know she loves it."
"You really love her, dont you?"
"I dont know where she ends and I begin," the bard replied with a shy smile.
"Then tell Mom and Dad now."
"I will, Lila. I never wanted it to get this far, and for the life of me I dont know why Joxer would ... Ill tell them."
A noise outside the door drew the girls attention, and both sisters exchanged knowing looks as the door opened and Hecuba walked into the room, her mouth stuffed with hair pins, and her arms full of baby roses.
"Afh gwood, yourf drewsed," Hecuba mumbled, laying her flower bundle gently on the bed. Her eyebrow raised, and her gaze darted between the girls.
"Mom? Wheres Dad?" Lila asked, taking a step closer. "Gabrielle needs to talk to you both."
"Theres no time for talks now. We can talk after."
"No, Momma, we cant. Lila is right, I need to talk to you. And I want Xena there, too."
Hecuba narrowed her eyes, and Gabrielle watched her mothers body tense. "Sit down in this chair this minute, young lady. Im going to do your hair, and there will be no more talk about Xena. Hear me?" She grabbed Gabrielles arm and pulled her towards the chair. "Honestly, Im starting to think the stories about you two are true."
Gabrielle ripped her arm from her mothers grasp. "Would that bother you if they were true? What if Xena and I were lovers? Answer, Mother."
"Im not going to listen to this! Youre getting married today, and thatll put a stop to those vicious rumors. They only started because everyones jealous of our position."
Gabrielle ran a hand through her hair, fighting for control. "Youre too much, Momma. Its always about you, isnt it?" She started to remove her dress. "Well not this time. I want an answer, Mother. What would you do if I told you I loved Xena?"
Hecuba slapped the bards face, and Gabrielles hand went immediately to her stinging cheek. Lila came up behind Hecuba and tried to pull her mother away, but Hecuba shrugged off her efforts.
"Mother ... dont ... " Lila pleaded. "Listen ..."
"Youll shut up, Lila. There is nothing going on between Gabrielle and that horrible woman!" she said, softening her eyes and smiling at her oldest daughter. "I dont know what spell she cast on you, sweetie, but youll forget. I promise. Joxer will make you happy."
"Im already happy. Happy with her," Gabrielle said. "Wheres Daddy? --- And Xena?" The bard started walking towards the door, but Hecuba grabbed her arm.
"Gabrielle, honey ... my little girl ... Dont say anything to your father. His heart ..."
"What about his heart?" Gabrielle said, her own heart freezing in her chest.
"Hes been having pains, Gab," Lila said. "The healer gave him some herbs, but hes supposed to take it slow."
"So, telling him will probably kill him. Do you want that?" Hecuba demanded.
"Dont do that to me, Mother. Dont make me choose."
"He wants to see you married, settled and happy."
"In that order? Or would he rather see me happy?" Gabrielle said, taking another step towards the door.
"Why do you have to be this way? Cant you just stop? Was it something I did when you were a child? I knew it! Its all my fault. I didnt give you enough love ... or attention. You needed constant attention. And the things youd get into. I should have known youd turn out this way. Im so embarrassed."
"Momma ... thats unfair," Lila said, stepping between her mother and her sister, who looked like she was about to charge.
"You can blame whomever you want," Gabrielle said, with control. "But its not going to change anything. I love Xena. I always have. Being with her is all Ive ever wanted, and Im not going to sacrifice that for what you think is right. As far as Im concerned, what I feel is right."
"Why doesnt Gabrielle talk with Daddy," Lila asked, trying to arbitrate the situation. "Im sure hell ..."
"Lila, youve always been so naive," Hecuba said. "Its why youre in the condition youre in. You never listened to me ... either one of you. Ive got one daughter pregnant, and another who likes ... Zeus help me, but I cant even say it."
"I like women," Gabrielle said. "I love Xena. Physically, emotionally, and everything. She is everything to me, and Mother, ... Id like your approval ..."
"Well, youll never get it. Im not going to condone that! Its wrong, Gabrielle. Cant you see that?"
"Mother," Lila tried again. "This is ancient Greece, and that type of lifestyle is okay here. Its the one god followers who hate it."
"I dont care if were cavemen," Hecuba said. "I still know loving another woman is wrong!" Hecuba took a slow step towards Gabrielle. "Baby, think about this. You could have so much with Joxer. He loves you, and hell make you happy. Im sure of it. You could give me grandchildren for the gods sake!"
Gabrielle shook her head, and turned back towards the door. "Im going to find Daddy. I have to stop this before ..."
"Gabby, dont!" Hecuba cried. "Dont disappoint your father. He doesnt need to know. We can think of something else to tell him."
"No, Mother. I cant, and besides ..."
Hecuba was holding up her hand when the door opened and Herodotus entered with a huge smile on his face. Gabrielle felt her words choke in her throat when she saw her father, and for a long second they all just stared at each other.
"Gabrielle ..." Lila prompted, giving her a slight nudged in her back.
"Ah, my daughter," Herodotus said, leaning forward and pulling Gabrielle into his arms. "Im so proud of you, sweetie," he whispered in her ear.
"Daddy?" Gabrielle says, her voice barely registering.
"When you ran off with Xena," he spit the warriors name out. "I thought Id lost you for sure. But now youre home, and ... Im just so happy, Gabrielle."
"But, Daddy ..."
Herodotus pulls back, and runs his finger down Gabrielles check. "Im going to ask you to do something for me, pumpkin. Will you do something for Daddy?"
"What?" Gabrielle asked, suddenly feeling like she was five again, and blessed to have her fathers total attention.
"I want you to go ask Xena to leave this place. To leave us in peace." His eyes became hard. "She wont go unless you ask her to, she says. So, Gabrielle ... go ask. For Daddy."
Gabrielle just stared, the words barely registering.
"Do what your father says," her mother said, appearing beside her.
"Wheres Xena?" Gabrielle whispered, the room suddenly spinning around her.
"Shes outside, honey," Herodotus answered. "Go tell her to leave, and then youre wedding day will be perfect."
"Lila ..." Gabrielle said, trying to find her sisters face.
"Ill be right back," Lila said, starting to leave the room.
"No you wont! Lila!" Hecuba cried, trying to grab her daughters arm. "Come back here, Lila!"
"Whats going on?" Herodotus asked, as if he was suddenly aware of the tension in the room.
"Daddy," Gabrielle began. "I cant marry Joxer."
"Gabrielle ..." Hecuba pleaded, but the bard didnt look at her mother.
"Sweetie, youre just nervous. I felt the same way on my wedding day, but Joxer loves you, and ..."
"But I dont love him, Daddy. I love someone else." Gabrielle closed her eyes. "I love Xena."
She kept her eyes closed, waiting for what seemed forever, desperate to hear her father tell her it was okay, and that he still loved her. But all she heard was tense silence.
"You love her like you love Lila," Herodotus finally said. "Thats fine. You can still love Xena and marry Joxer."
"Im not marrying Joxer!"
"Gabrielle, dont do this to your mother and me," Herodotus said.
"Remember what I told you," Hecuba said, her hand over her chest.
Gabrielle drew a deep breath. "Mom. Dad. I love you both ... very much. I want you to be proud of me. I want you to always love me, and I want Poteidaia to always be a special place for me. But I will give all that up if I have to."
"We are proud of you," Herodotus said, but Gabrielle saw his hand clench.
"But only if I do what you want me to do, right?"
"Thats enough, Gabrielle," Hecuba said.
"Its only the beginning, Momma. I cant be what you want me to be. Even trying would be losing everything I am. Everything I care about. Everything I love."
"Thats not true! Joxer will let you be who you are. He wants to see you grow, and hell encourage that. Thats what you do with people you love," Herodotus said.
"You mean like youve encouraged Lila to do what she really wants? Like you encouraged me before I ran away? Dont you know I ran away because I didnt want to be what you were encouraging me to be?" Gabrielle cried. "I dont want to be a farm wife. Tied down to a life I hate. Never seeing anything of the world. Never knowing that there is so much more out there. Is that the type of encouragement youre talking about, Daddy?"
"Youre making no sense," Herodotus said, dismissing her speech with a wave of his hand. "Now, finish dressing and hurry. Our guests are starting to talk."
"Let them talk! I really dont care what anyone in this town thinks anymore. Dont you see? Im not changing who I love, who I am, and who I love."
"Is that double repeat for me?" Xena said casually from the doorway.
Herodotus spun around, facing Xena. "See what youve done? Youve ruined our little girl."
Xena took a determined step into the room, her eyes hard and cold. "Ive got news for you ... She stopped being your little girl a long time ago."
"No, you went and made her your little girl, didnt you Xena?" Hecuba yelled.
"I only want what is best for Gabrielle. That always comes first."
Gabrielle reached out and took Xenas arm, pulling herself closer to the warrior. "I could never marry Joxer. I never would. Everything I want in the entire world is ... her."
"Dont do this, Gabrielle. Think, honey. Youre life will never be the same. People wont understand. Theyll treat you differently. Hate you even," Hecuba said, her eyes pleading.
"Perhaps," Gabrielle replied, feeling Xenas fingers intertwine with her own. "But what does that matter when you know youre truly loved?" She looked up at Xena. "Ill get my stuff."
"So, thats just it?" Hecuba said. "Youre just going to leave us ... like that? If you choose to go with Xena, then do not return, Gabrielle. You will be dead to us."
"Mother? I ..."
"Mother," Lila said. "Thats not fair."
"Not a word from you, Lila! If you hadnt gone and gotten yourself in trouble, then none of this would have happened."
"Thats unbelievable!" Gabrielle said. "After hearing that, Im not sure I want to be a part of this family anymore. Ill always love you all, but I wont stand for that crap any longer."
"Dont you turn away from us, missy," Hecuba said, her face red with anger. "We have rights over you."
Xena released the bards hand and took a step closer to Hecuba. "Obviously you havent heard about me. I get a bit crazy when people threaten Gabrielle. Before you know it, I might turn this ..."
"Xena, its okay."
"They dont own you," Xena replied, her eyes still hot.
"No, they dont. They never did," Gabrielle said, pulling her boots from under the bed. "I dont know why I was so afraid of coming home and telling you all. In the end it really doesnt matter what you think. In the end I have what I want most, and she has me."
"Thats pathetic," Hecuba spat.
"No, Mom. Pathetic would be living the life that you do. Or living in Dads dream worlds. Or living in the cage you built for Lila. That would be pathetic."
"Apologize to your mother," Herodotus said.
"Apologies dont seem to be this familys strong suit," Gabrielle said, laying her bag on the bed.
"Gab ... stop. Stop before this gets out of hand," Lila said. "Mom, Dad, leave ... okay?"
"Lila ... come with me. Ill take you to the Amazons. You and your baby will be well cared for there."
"But Tyrone."
"Now you have to choose. Where does your heart lie?"
"I love him."
"Then leave with him. Get out of this town, Lila. Go to Athens. Be a dress designer. Tyrone can be an actor. Be something more than what our parents want us to be."
"Quit putting notion like that in your sisters head!" Herodotus said. "She doesnt need you corrupting her."
"As far as I can see ... she does," Xena replied tersely.
"Why havent you been killed yet?" Hecuba growled.
"Oh, now were getting nasty," Xena said. "And I have been."
For a brief second Gabrielle enjoyed the looks that passed over her parents faces, but then she gathered her strength to finish. "Xena ... thats enough," she said. "Im sorry that you cant accept my life, but it is my life, and I will lead it in whatever way I want. If that means I dont have a home anymore, then Xena will be my home. She already is."
"Youre ungrateful ... you know that?" Hecuba said. "My own daughter, turning on me. Im ..." Hecuba turned and left the room.
"How can you do this to us?" her father asked.
"Please ... get off the cross cause Im sure someone needs the wood. This isnt about you. Its about me. Im sorry I hurt you. I didnt want to, but ... never mind."
"It ... Gabrielle ... I ... just go," her father said, turning from her. "I have to see about your mother. Youve brok ... good-bye, Gabrielle."
Gabrielle stood quietly, the once hostile room now deadly quiet. She could hear her mothers tears from down the hall, and if it hadnt been for Xena holding her hand she knew shed have started crying, too.
"Cmon," Xena said, "Lets get your stuff, and take off, okay?" Gabrielle heard the gentle tone in the warriors voice, but for some reason it didnt help. "You looked very beautiful in that dress," Xena said, her fingers gingerly touching the fabric on the gown.
"Was that before or after I broke my parents hearts?"
"Theyll get over it. They need time."
"Yeah. Time ... the godly cure for every ailment." Gabrielle looked at Xena. "So, do you feel better now?"
"Me?" Xena said, her eyebrow raised.
"It was your stupid idea that I tell them."
"Gabriell ... youre upset and angry right now. Lets not get into this, okay?"
"Why not? Nothing to say?"
"Im not going there, Gabrielle. Lets drop it until youre calmer."
The bard narrowed her eyes, her hand darting out to pick up the hair brush, and threw it at Xena. The wooden handle bounced off the warriors shoulders, and Xena glared at Gabrielle. The younger woman reached for a flower vase.
"Dont," Xena cautioned.
Gabrielle sneered, and threw the vase with all her might. Xena ducked, and the vase shattered against the wall.
"Feel better?" Xena asked.
"Not even close," Gabrielle said, grabbing a glass.
"Then shouldnt you be throwing that at yourself?"
Gabrielle pulled her arm back and launched the glass at Xena, who barely jumped out of the way. "Why? Its your fault. I figured it out, you know," Gabrielle cried, her eyes looking for more objects.
"Figured what out?"
"You rigged the whole thing!" Gabrielle cried, her hand closing around a small wooden treasure chest. "You had to force me to tell them, didnt you."
"Youre making no sense," Xena said, holding up her hands.
"Do you really think Im stupid enough to believe Joxer came up with that whole story about us getting married by himself?" Gabrielle said, lifting her arm.
"I dunno. Are you?" Xena said, and then found herself ducking to avoid the latest projectile. When she looked up, Gabrielle had grabbed a small clay figurine, and was waiting. "Okay," Xena admitted. "Youre right." She stood, just as the object began its arc, but this time Xena reached out and snatched the figurine from the air, setting it unbroken on the bedside table.
"You didnt think I had the guts, did you?" Gabrielle demanded. "You had to throw the whole marriage thing into the mix to force me to decide. That really blows, Xena!"
"Gabrielle ... honey ... I ..."
"You didnt trust me. Damn it, I was going to tell them!"
"When?" Xena said, her blue eyes carefully watching her lover.
"As I was running out the door after the wedding, Miss Nosy. I was even thinking of leaving a note explaining it all."
"I see," Xena said. "Thats the old personal touch."
"And what should I have done?" Gabrielle cried. "I know maybe I could have just hugged everyone hello and then blurted it out." The bard shook her head. "That wouldve gone over well."
"You didnt have to tell them at all, you know."
"Yes I did. Ive never lied to my parents, and letting them believe that I was just unlucky in finding a man to marry ... it was lying to them, Xena."
Xena took a deep breath. "Im sorry," she said. "I should have waited and trusted ..."
"No," Gabrielle said, shaking her head. "It was stupid what I did. You were right, and I played a game ... It was a stupid idea."
Xena took a step closer and opened her arms. That was all it took before Gabrielle had nestled herself into the warm embrace. "No, not stupid."
"Um ... I guess I should say thanks," Gabrielle whispered
"I know it was hard. I do."
"You didnt make it any easier, but you made me face it. Now ..." Gabrielle smiled.
"Now, you just have to wait and see how much they want their daughter in their lives. Thats all."
Gabrielle pulled back. "No, I was going to say ... now onto Amphibolis, and your mother."
A look of shock settled on Xenas face, and she dropped her arms. "Now ... Gabrielle ... werent we going North? Something about a border skirmish? No? I remember being invited to that Amazon festival next week. I know how you love those parties. Or what about some shopping in Athens ... yeah, youve been wanting some new ..."
A finger settled over the warriors lips. "Darling, if I have to do it ... you have to do it."
"This wasnt part of the bargain. It was your mothers stupid note that got all of this started. I never remember talking about telling my mother!"
"Do you really think its going to bother her?"
"I dunno. It could," Xena said, a large lock of dark hair falling over her forehead. "Cmon. My mom and I are just starting to make progress. Cant this wait ten or twenty years?"
"Is the great warrior princess afraid of her wettle mommy?"
Xenas head shot up. "The Great Queen of the Amazons was."
"Dont worry, Xena ... I wont make you marry Joxer to get you to talk. Ive already got one parent confession under my belt. I guess I could just talk to your mom, too."
"Gab - ri - elle ..." Xena tried her warning voice, but the bard just patted her on the chest and smiled.
"Lets finish packing. I want to get out of here. We could be in Amphibolis by early next week if we hurry."
The warrior reached out and seized the bards hand. Gabrielle looked up into the sky blue eyes that always brightened for her. "That was very brave, Gabrielle. It may seem rotten now, but it will get better," Xena said, squeezing her hand. "I promise."
"The only way it could get worse would be if we were stoned out of town," Gabrielle replied, with a crooked smile. "I just wish is didnt have to end like this. Im losing my childhood ... and I cant ever go back."
"Give them time. They do love you, and I bet they would rather accept me than lose you."
Gabrielles face lifted. "You think?"
Xena reached out and touched her face. "Oh, yeah. Ill even bet you two months of firewood duty that you dont get out of town without your father at least hugging you good-bye."
Gabrielle smiled at the challenge. "After that scene? Youre on. My father is so stubborn, and hell never change his mind."
"Then lets go," Xena said, picking up the bards bag and motioning to the door. Gabrielle stopped at the door and took one last look around.
"Thanks for catching that figurine," she said. "My aunt gave it to Lila, and shed ... well, I cant imagine her being any madder at me than she already is. I ruined her wedding day."
"Then lets go talk to her."
--- XVII ---
Most of the guest had begun taking their leave, and Gabrielle watched as her parents tried to shake hands and smile. She could hear their promises of rescheduling the weddings as soon as their daughter felt better. Xena touched her shoulder, and the bard looked up, shaking her head at the story. The warrior shrugged, and smiled.
Lila and Tyrone sat under a tree holding hands. Lila looked up as Gabrielle approached, and the bard suddenly felt at a complete loss of words. Her sister sat there in her wedding gown, with no wedding to attend. It was all her fault.
"Lila ..." she almost stuttered. "Im sorry."
Lila gave her a half smile. "Hey! I half expected something drastic from you. Never could stay out of trouble, could you?"
Gabrielle looked at the ground, and shrugged.
"I know its for the best, Gabrielle," Lila continued, standing and touching the bards chin. "Im glad you told them ... and the wedding doesnt matter."
"I hurt them, Lila. I disappointed them, and theyll never ..."
"Then live for you ... not them. If they cant accept you as your are ... or," she looked at Xena. "Who youve chosen, then thats their loss." Lila leaned in closer. "I like Xena better than Joxer," she whispered with a chuckle.
Gabrielle smiled broadly. "Me, too."
Lila held her arms open, and Gabrielle stepped into the embrace with trust. No matter what she and Lila fought over, they would never stop being sisters. Lila seemed to feel the same, because her arms tightened. "I know you have to go," Lila said, releasing her. "But know that youll always have a home with me. It might be in Athens, or here ... but youre both always welcome. Youre both my family, and I want to see you whenever you can come. Understood?"
The bard clenched her jaw to fight back the tears that were climbing, and she nodded. "Dont let this place suck you in, Lila. You need to find your own road. Seek it, please."
"Im glad you came home," Lila said. "I didnt want you to, but now Im glad you did."
"So am I," Gabrielle said, glancing over at her parents. "Let me know if anything happens to them, okay? Ill come home ... whether they want me or not."
Her sister pulled her into a hug. "I will," she whispered, releasing her again. "Now go before I dont let you."
Gabrielles eyes drifted to Tyrone, who was watching the interaction with interest. They stared at each other, and Tyrone slowly nodded. "Remember what I said, Tyrone. Ill be like a bad fungus if you hurt my sister ... and believe me, I know what a bad fungus is like. --- Be good to each other," she said, as a hand touched her shoulder. "I know, Xena. We have to go."
"Gabrielle ..." Her fathers voice sounded a touch off key, and the bard stood still, afraid to turn around. His hand tightened on her shoulder, and Gabrielle lifted her own hand to cover his. "Gabrielle ... take care. Let us know if you ever need anything. Youre mother and I ... well, we dont understand your choice ... we dont approve ... but ..." He turned her around. "Cmere," he said, pulling her into a tight hug.
"Daddy, Im sorry I hurt you," Gabrielle said, into his chest.
"Ssshhh. No more of that. I think Id rather know youre happy away from us, than miserable here," he said, releasing her. "Now ... go."
Gabrielle stumbled back from the embrace, her eyes seeking her mother, but Hecuba turned her back. She looked back at her father, who just nodded his head. Lila reached out, and grabbed her hand.
"Ill miss you, Gab. Write often, please. And remember, youre going to be an aunt, so plan on being here a lot. Both of you," Lila said, letting her eyes wander to Xena who was standing with the horse.
"We will, Lila. Promise," Gabrielle said, giving her sister one last hug. "Take care of them," she whispered.
"I always have," Lila responded, patting the bards back before releasing her. "Take care of yourself ... and her."
Gabrielle smiled, and with one last look at her father, walked over to where Xena stood. The warrior said nothing, and they silently began walking out of town. It wasnt until theyd passed the last house that the bard realized that they were heading towards Amphibolis, and she turned to stare at Xena.
"I know, so save the speeches. Whats fair is fair," Xena said, tugging on Argos reins.
"You dont have to," Gabrielle said. "I was only ... I was angry at you."
"You had every right to be. I did force you into that ... only I didnt think youd wait until twenty minutes before the wedding to say anything."
"Speaking of my wedding, wheres Joxer?"
Xena shrugged. "Want to go back and find him?"
"With his homing tendencies? Well be lucky to make camp before he stumbles in."
"Then should we ride to make it harder?" Xena asked with a smile.
Gabrielles hand slinked around Xenas waist, and she pulled the warrior closer. "Not just yet. Ive had a rough enough day without being tossed around on a horse."
They walked on for a bit in easy silence, until Xena chuckled softly.
"What?" Gabrielle asked.
"Youll let me know if you get any splinters, right?"
"Huh?"
"Getting all the firewood. You lost the bet, and Im off firewood duty for two months."
Gabrielle seriously considered releasing her hold on the warrior and debating the subject, but instead she just shrugged, and pulled her closer. "Since my arms cant carry as much, well have to think of other ways to stay warm."
"Uh-huh, and how should we cook our food?" Xena asked, and then laughed. "Wait, dont tell me. Id rather see what youve thought up." Gabrielle smiled. "So, do you think youre mother is going to send anymore bad poetry?"
"Why when she knows Ive finally found my star light, star bright ..."
"Ugh, that was terrible Gabrielle! But maybe shell start writing poems about the grandchildren. Ive already thought of one for Tyrone and Lilas child. Wanna hear?"
"Like I could stop you."
"Little Bo Peep lost her sheep ... and she didnt know where to find them. She ..."
"... You think my sister is going to name her baby Bo Peep?"
"Could happen," Xena said, with a grin. "It does rhyme with sheep."
Gabrielle laughs. "Yes it does," she said, leaning up and kissing the warriors cheek. "Thanks, Xena."
"For what?"
"For being you."
"Likewise, Im sure."
"So," Gabrielle said. "Got any other bad poetry lurking in that armor?"
The warrior shrugged. "I know a bunch of limericks. There once was a man from Crete, who didnt know what to do beneath a sheet, so he pushed and he pulled ..."
"Thats more than enough, thank you. Why dont we leave the poetry to the expert here."
"Your mother?"
The warrior received a gentle slug for her response. "There has to be a reason I love you," Gabrielle said.
"Sparkling personality? Conversation skills to die for? Life of the party?" Xena supplied.
Gabrielle hand slowly slid down Xenas back, causing the warrior to stop speaking. "All of those and more," she whispered, her lips grazing the warriors shoulder. "Now, finish that limerick. Its giving me ideas."
Xena turned and pulled Gabrielle against her, lowering her lips. "One cannot live by literature alone, Gabrielle," she said before kissing the bard, the outline of Poteidaia now a shadow in the background.