COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: The characters Xena, Gabrielle, Joker and others that appear in the television program Xena: Warrior Princess belongs to MCA/Universal Studios and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright violation is intended in the writing of this story. The story itself belongs to the author and cannot be reproduced, reprinted, or published without her permission. Copies of this story must contain all disclaimers.

VIOLENCE/SEX DISCLAIMER: Yes, this story contains scene of consensual sex between two adult women. If you are offended by such material or if you are under 18 years of age, don't read this story. If such material is illegal where you live, don't read this story. There is no violence in the story.

Comments can be sent to MaryEic@AOL.com   Please be gentle, or as Xena would say "Be nice."

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I hope you have seen "Been There, Done That" or this story may not be totally understandable. This is my version of how that episode, one of my favorites, might have ended. Reference to other eps is not necessarily in aired order. This is Xena, by gods’ sake!

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Been There Done That

By MaryE

The cock crowed, Joxer "Rise and shine"ed, Gabrielle tossed the hay sleepily, and Xena screamed; a long, frustrated, miserable scream that ended with a curse. Nine times she had lived this day. Nine times she had failed to discover the reason for the repetition. Nine times she had traveled to the edge of madness.

"Zeus on a crutch!" she barked. "I can't go through this again. No! Not again."

Gabrielle watched, open mouthed, as Xena drew her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around them and began to rock back and forth like a traumatized child.

"Xena?"

The horseshoe fell from the hayloft and conked Joxer who pitched forward into his hatful of goose eggs. Xena issued an eerie, maniacal laugh.

The sunlight burned Gabrielle's sleepy green eyes and she felt straw poking her in some very tender places. "I'll rise, but I refuse to shine." She observed, lolling back on the blanket. "This day isn't starting out very well."

"It never does." Muttered Xena. "And it ends worse." She rose stiffly to her feet, then hesitated, uncertain if she wanted to leave the barn or not. "What's the point? I KNOW what happens once I go out there. I've stopped dozens of fights, or the same fights dozens of times." She blinked momentarily confused. "I've picked the brains of every half-wit in this cursed village. I've buried everyone I know, at least once, including my horse."

Joxer rubbed his head. The young man who had dropped the horseshoe from the hayloft was circling him stuttering apologies. Xena grabbed them both by the collar and tossed them from the barn, bolting the door against their return. 'I need to think.' She thought. "I need to focus." Instead she paced, mumbling incoherently, while Gabrielle stared at her dumbstruck.

"Ah, Xena? Are you okay?"

"No, Gabrielle. I wouldn't say I was okay. I'm reliving the same day over and over. I can't figure out why. No one else seems to be having the same experience. And…" she paused to take a slow, cleansing breath. "I'M GOING OUT OF MY MIND!"

"Oh. Well, then. That explains it." The idea of being locked in a barn with a warlord, make that ex-warlord, who is having a nervous breakdown tended to make Gabrielle nervous herself. She pulled the blanket around her and sank a bit lower into the hay.

"The point is, my comely little bard…" Xena reached down and grabbed the young woman by the front of her BGSB. "The point is that nothing explains it. It's not even a day I like. It's a nothing little day. A zero of a day. It starts out with Joxer waking me up, for Hera's sake."

"Um, yeah. But he does it badly."

"He does everything badly. He's Joxer."

"He gets hit in the head." Gabrielle noted, trying to ameliorate the situation. "That counts for something."

"His head is his least vulnerable spot."

Gabrielle began picking straw from her hair. "So this is about wanting something really bad to happen to Joxer?"

Xena began banging her forehead against a wooden beam. "Na-na. This is about wanting something new to happen. A surprise attack. A disaster. Anything that I couldn't predict in advance."

Gabrielle stood up and stretched a long, writhing, fluid stretch that started in the arms raised sensuously above her head and traveled, slalomed really, down the length of her body. Xena's eyes followed every bump and gyration. The moan that accompanied the movements caused the warrior's mouth to water. Gabrielle brought her hands to her adorable abs and scratched.

"I'm hungry."

'So am I!' Thought Xena. And the nothing little day acquired the aura of possibilities.

"Hungry, huh! I could have told you that even without being stuck in a time warp. You are always hungry, Gabrielle."

"Well at least one of us is in touch with her real self." Gabrielle smirked.

"Meaning?" Queried Xena noting how much she'd like to touch the fetching bard's real self.

"Meaning that I'm not suffering from any delusions." Gabrielle yawned conspicuously.

"Suppose Joxer would make some of that radish stew if I asked him? Or are you afraid of reliving that day again, too?" She plucked a few strands of straw from the waistband of her skirt and tossed them in Xena's direction.

"This day is definitely better than that one." Conceded Xena. "I want drama not diarrhea."

"Well, I'll let you work on that." Her young companion told her as she walked toward the barn door. "I'm going to find something to eat."

"I knew you would say that."

"Did not."

"Did so." Xena bared her teeth in that compelling little crooked half smile that the bard adored. "Go ahead, tell me something I don't know."

Gabrielle peered at Xena with a curious expression, one that Xena could almost swear conveyed not merely love but lust. 'Nah. This is not a good time.' Gabrielle admitted to herself as the expression faded along with her momentary courage. Still, the warrior had issued a challenge and the bard could put breakfast on hold long enough to answer it, albeit something less controversial than the fact that she was in love with the gorgeous woman standing so defiantly in the sunlight. "You have a hickey."

"It's not a hickey. It's a bruise, and Joxer says that a little later."

"Where did you get the hick…bruise?"

"I knew you'd ask that." Xena placed her hand over the area in question. "I did it to myself."

"You DO have many skills!"

"Ga-bri-elle."

"I knew YOU'D say that. Guess this psychic stuff is catching." Gabrielle tossed her hair as she spun her on her heels and began moving toward the door.

The chakram whizzing past her ear brought her to a sudden and complete stop. "Take one more step and I'll…" Gabrielle's eyes widened to twice their normal size - perfect little green emeralds in a sea of shocked white. "I mean it! I could kill you and wake up tomorrow and find you bobbing up out of the hay like nothing ever happened. You wouldn't even remember it. In fact, you already died once. I want you to know I sang at your funeral. Joxer wept. Of course, you wept at his funeral. And I had to take you to bed and you laid your head on my shoulder and wrapped your arm around my waist and your leg…Ahem. At any rate, I can do anything I want to you and you won't remember. So don't get any closer to that door."

'Anything?' Thought Gabrielle. She swallowed loudly. Anything, now there was something to contemplate. Her cheeks flushed and her fingers played absently at the base of her throat. 'My what images that conjures up.' But she felt her heart sink at the realization that in all these so called repeated days, Xena had not done the wild thing with her. Not that she'd remember. 'Wait a minute. Now she has me believing this stuff.' "Come on, Xena. I really am starving."

"I knew you'd say that."

Gabrielle let out a moan of frustration. "Okay, okay. Let's finish this whatever we are doing. How did you give yourself the bruise?"

"Oh. That." Xena shuffled self-consciously. "I, um, I bumped into ah, ah, that scythe handle in the middle of the night. Didn't see it, actually."

"What were you doing roaming around in the middle of the night?"

"I, um, er, couldn't sleep." Xena toyed with the straps in the front of her skirt. "I was trying to keep morning from coming and I…"

"Has that worked for you in the past?" Gabrielle couldn't help but smile, although she did contain the laugh before it escaped her throat. After all, Xena was standing a few feet away with a chakram still glistening in her hand. "Have you managed to stop any previous dawns by running into objects in the dark of night?"

Xena's eyes squinted at the sarcasm. "No, my sweet. I haven't succeeded at that particular skill just yet. Though by the gods, I wish I could."

"Wait a minute. If you were trying to stop the dawn, then the hickey…excuse me…the bruise would be gone the next morning, right? You said everything resets at dawn." Gabrielle put her hands on her hips and smirked. "It is a hickey, isn't it!" This was said more in anguish than disgust, despite the posture she has assumed. It hurt her to think that Xena could have been with someone, a fact that the warrior princess observed and selfishly cherished.

"No. It is a bruise." She assured her. "I did run into something in the dark only it was the night before we arrived here and I was, well, I was checking on you. Making sure you were all right. I do that sometimes. Check up on you when you're sleeping."

In fact, Xena often spent hours looking at the sleeping bard, letting her eyes roam across the pleasing shape of her, taking in each feature of her beautiful face…even more beautiful when illuminated by an amber campfire and the relaxation of sleep. She needed to see Gabrielle in the night, especially nights when the demons of her dark past threatened to possess her mind with soul-rending memories. The night before arriving at the village had been such a night and she had gotten up in search of the one visage that pushed back those demons and filled her heart with love.

Gabrielle watched Xena's eyes as she spoke and saw softness in them that only rarely made itself visible. Perhaps this day held some promise, she mused just short of hoping. "So, you say that everything is repeating and you want a surprise. How about I tell you a story?"

"Probably heard it."

The bard's face darkened. "How about the one about the centaurs and the amazons?"

"Know it by heart."

"How about the Crusader?"

"Hated that bitch!"

"How about the Furies?"

"I'm crazy enough without being reminded that I was crazy."

"Warrior, Priestess, Tramp?

"Don't you think I have enough trouble without adding an identity crisis?"

"A Day in the Life?"

Xena drew her mouth into a flat line and glowered at the bard. "Definitely not. I am having a day in my life - the same damn day over and over and I would like to move on."

Gabrielle knitted her brow and thought, searching for a story that would amuse or at least distract her friend from the predicament she imagined herself in.

'Fiction? Yes. Humor? Helpful. Sex? Definitely - that would do it.'

A wickedly satisfying idea crept into her mind and she smiled as she put her hand on Xena's leather wristbands and peered innocently into those astonishingly blue eyes. "How about the Warlord and the Slave Girl?"

"Ooh, I like that one!" Xena surprised her by replying. "I knew you'd think of it. But don't you have any new material?"

"Xena!"

"Okay, the Warlord and the Slave Girl." Xena sat beside a wooden bench and positioned herself comfortably. Her long, tanned legs stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankle, and she leaned back on one elbow resting on the bench seat.

Gabrielle settled herself on the bench next to the warrior and after clearing her throat, began to weave a story filled with lush scenery, heroic deeds and lots of subtext. It was hard for the bard to believe that Xena seemed familiar with the story, since she was making it up as she went along, but she persevered even as she observed the warrior drift off into thought. Only it wasn't thought so much that caused Xena to close her eyes. It was the pleasure she took in the sound of the bard's voice, which seemed to move over like warm velvet, calming her mood and soothing her soul.

The story's warlord bore a striking resemblance to Xena - tall, dark, and beautiful with many the required skills, a dark past, a dazzling grin and ice blue eyes. The slave girl was a strawberry blonde with an inner radiance, youthful innocence and a hot body. The warlord saved the girl, taught her to use a weapon, took her to exotic places, watched her grow into womanhood and ultimately with the intercession of Artemis and Aphrodite professed an undying love for her. They made love tenderly beside a campfire under the watchful gaze of none but their golden horse. Having experienced the love of her young companion, the warlord was released from the demons of her past.

But the slave girl was once again enslaved, this time willingly, bound to her beautiful warrior by the love they shared - a love that made of them one soul. And they knew in both their hearts that their love would survive any trials that the fickle gods could send to test them. By the time Gabrielle had finished the tale, both speaker and listener were drawing raspy, needy breaths.

Gabrielle placed a trembling hand on Xena's shoulder creating a searing sensation that ravaged the course of the warrior's entire body. She reached up and pulled the smaller woman into her lap. "Perfectly told, my sweet bard." Xena praised her somewhat breathlessly. "If…if I had been that warlord, I'd have…"

"Done her?" Finished Gabrielle, her eyes glowing with passion. Their lips brushed together lightly, then more passionately and their tongues explored each warm sensation of delight. Xena's hands caressed the full breast beneath the BGSB feeling the nipples harden at her touch. Gabrielle nipped at the warrior's earlobe then ran a trail of kisses down the long, lovely neck.

With quick fluid motions, Xena removed the garments that separated her from the delicious woman in her arms. Just as eagerly, she stripped off her leather tunic and breeches hardly able to bear the momentary loss of contact with Gabrielle. The pair lay down in the straw, the warrior atop her eager young lover relishing the feel of the soft, supple skin beneath her. Gabrielle captured a breast and suckled greedily. Xena moaned and began to grind her center against a firm, muscled thigh. Her hand slipped down the bard's surging body, embraced the soft curls then slipped between the wet, silky folds to massage the swollen center pressed up into her fingers.

Desire skittered the length of Gabrielle's body, firing the nerves at her center and heightening the incredible sensations that Xena's touch inspired. The gentle insistence of her lovers hands, the feel of her rhythmic motions against her thigh, the sound of Xena's deep, reassuring voice all conspired to bring Gabrielle's profound love for her warrior to the fore. She wanted to be possessed completely, to take her warrior within her to the depths of her desire, her soul. She needed to feel Xena's love deep within her being. Knowing all this and filled with the same wants and needs, Xena committed herself to her bard's pleasure and in so doing found a pleasure of her own beyond anything she had previously experienced. They were both so close to the edge that their releases were destined to come simultaneously. And as Xena entered Gabrielle with a single finger and Gabrielle pressed her thigh hard against Xena's center, they did release. The lilt of throaty feminine voices traveled well beyond the confines of the barn.

Xena enfolded her spent lover in gentle arms and held her to her breast. Gabrielle let the sensation of floating taper off slowly. The smell of her lover intoxicated her. The salty taste of Xena's skin lingered on her lips and her vulva pulsed with the memory of Xena's love thrusts. 'My stories are getting a much better reception,' she flattered herself. She was sure she had found her genre at last. "Fiction, who'd have thought it?"

"Works…for…me." Xena fairly whispered permitting herself to languish in the afterglow of lovemaking, her body completely sated and her mind only a little guilty. There was more that Xena could confess about the past week and a half. They had stayed in the barn on more than one morning, for instance the morning that Gabrielle had indeed risen from her death the 'day before' and Xena had nearly succumbed to her joy by taking them both beyond a subtexty hug to ecstasy. She had held herself in check, but barely, earning at worst a PG13 rating for the reunion scene.

Then there had been the morning she had killed Joxer, chakraming him as he walked in. Gabrielle had carried on quite a while about that little deed. And Xena had grabbed her trying to calm her down, explaining that Joxer would be fine. Then to silence the hysterical young woman, Xena had kissed her, hard. What had followed was not only passionate but hard core, triple X, wanton sex with Xena liberated by the knowledge that the bard would remember none of it. She had overpowered her bantamweight friend, not bothering to ask the obligatory "Are you sure?" question. She had had her way and then some. Fortunately, Gabrielle had seemed surprisingly enthusiastic after the first hour or two.

Unfortunately, as heavy a burden as wanting Gabrielle had been before they had made love, the situation of the last few versions of this rewind day was even worse. Xena had known then that Gabrielle loved her, was in love with her with a passion to match the warrior's own. Only Xena also had known that Gabrielle didn't know that about herself in the way Xena knew. And of course Xena knew that Gabrielle couldn't have known what Xena knew. Ya know! Still, this latest 'first time' had been quite a roll in the hay. And thinking was making her head hurt. So she kissed Gabrielle tenderly on the forehead and asked the bard's now second favorite question.

"Would you like to get something to eat?"

"I knew you'd ask me…"

"Don't, Gabrielle. Just don't."

The pair opened the door and stepped into the sunlight. On their way to the blacksmith, they grabbed a snack, Xena stopped two sword fights, brought the masters of the warring households to new, peaceful insights about each other, and stepped on a broken bottle which when sniffed smelled of poison. It was a new clue. But watching the way Gabrielle's skirt swayed as she walked ahead steered Xena's purpose in another direction. Reliving a day in which she could have the bard anyway she wanted over and over, well now that might not be quite so terrible a thing after all. Then there'd be no aging. No dying (well not permanent dying). No bad weather. No Caesar. No menstrual cramps. No worries. What had she been complaining about, she wondered, as the bard's hips swayed and the warrior princess's libido writhed.

Xena's stride took on a carefree gait as she mulled the realization that she could also learn every nuance of making love to Gabrielle, who unaware of each previous joining would experience their love making as a 'first time' every time. Being a great lover suited the warrior's ego much better than seeing herself as she once was, a despoiler. 'Now who would pass up that deal?' She wondered. 'And Gabrielle comes out well, too.' She rationalized with a lusty growl. Gabrielle's days and evenings would be filled with perfect sex, nothing less.

She'd never know performance angst or get a case of the "same old, same old"s. It would be an alternative fiction dream come true. First times only; total ecstasy; satisfaction guaranteed. Sans inn or hot tub or cave, unfortunately, but the sex would still be great. And that, Xena knew, was the very definition of focus.

Xena's lips curled back exposing perfect, white teeth. "Gabrielle." She lilted, wrapping a long arm about her beloved mate. "Come walk with me. I know we have an episode to finish here, but let's consider the greater good."

"Xena, I think that's another story."

"That's all right, my succulent little bard. I'm beginning to really like your stories. Let's head back to the barn so you can tell me another one. How about the Warlord and the French Maid?"

Gabrielle looked at Xena with adoring eyes. "Anything for you, my warrior."

"I knew you'd say that."

THE END

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