This is a uber story. It is a continuation of the story begun in To Know You. It helps to have read the first story, but I think you can still enjoy this one without having read the first one.

This story revolves around a loving relationship between two women, what that relationship is will be up to the reader to decide.

This story is still best classified as a Hurt/Comfort Story. Readers who
are disturbed by or sensitive to this type of issue may wish to read
something other than this story.

I would love to hear any and all feedback.

Rainedrop@angelfire.com

To Love You

part3

Chapter 9

When Sam awoke the following morning, she was lying fully clothed in her own bed. The room
was filled with a dizzying bright light coming through the slitted opening of the blinds on the
window. She pulled herself to a sitting position on the bed, and looked around the room. It
occurred to her suddenly what had taken place last night, and she jumped off the bed, and ran into
the living room. The room was empty, there was no sign of her. She turned the corner and ran
into the dining room. There, with her head bent over the paper, half a piece of toast in her hand,
sat Helen, unaware that Sam was watching her.

Helen could sense her presence in the room before she even looked up. When she did, their eyes
met, and all the emotion of the previous night came flooding back threatening to overwhelm them
both. They held the gaze until they both felt their knees stop shaking, and Sam walked over to sit
at the table next to Helen.

“Have you been here all night?” Sam asked.

“Umhm,” Helen answered with a nod as she swallowed a piece of toast. “I borrowed your
couch.”

“I have an extra bedroom.”

“Now you tell me.” Helen grinned, and took an empty plate from the middle of the table, and
placed two pieces of toast on it, and place it in front of Sam. Helen then pulled a blue mug from
the center of the table and filled with it with steaming tea from a kettle resting on a hot mat. She
picked up a saucer of milk, and held it up in question. Sam nodded appreciatively. She did the
same with a jar of honey, and again Sam nodded.

Sam relished this feeling as she watched Helen do such simple things to take care of her. She
watched as Helen tenderly stirred the creamy concoction, and place the cup in front of Sam.
Helen watched under hooded eyes as Samantha sipped cautiously at the tea, and took a small bite
from one corner of a piece of toast.

“I called Trask to tell them I won’t be in to work today,” Helen finally said.

“Why?”

“I want to go with you...to the hospital.”

Sam looked away, remembering with painful clarity, the nightmare that still awaited her. “You
don’t have to do that.”

Helen reached out and took Sam’s hand in her own, and gave a small squeeze. “I know. But if
you’ll have me, I’d like to come with you.”

“I would love it if you’d come with me,” Sam said with an answering squeeze of her hand.

* * * * * * *

Samantha sat alone in Dr. Sigel’s office. She had asked Helen to wait outside in an attempt to
spare her from the news Samantha had been brought here to hear. For the past three weeks Helen
had come here with Sam, to this hospital, which was becoming more and more familiar. Samantha
had received five more doses of chemotherapy in that time, and as her body became sicker, her
spirit was filled with hope. A promise of hope that Helen had given her. Just as she had begun to
believe again, a phone call had come from Dr. Sigel. He said that the test results had come back,
results that had to be discussed immediately.

So Sam sat here, in this small white room, filled with charts and books. A sudden urge sprang up
in her, to run outside, to find Helen, to beg her to come so that she wouldn’t have to hear the
words alone. Just as she was about to stand, Dr. Sigel opened the office door and sat down
behind his desk, offering only a brief nod of acknowledgment.

“Samantha Thomas,” he said with an outstretched hand. Sam shook his hand with a fragile grip.
“I’ve received results back from last week’s CT scan. I had hoped the chemotherapy treatments
would prevent the spread of cancerous cells, but a large tumor has grown in your right lung. It
has become too large for further treatment. I would like to schedule surgery as soon as possible.”
He paused, awaiting a response from his patient that wouldn’t come. “After you’ve recovered
from surgery, we’ll continue the chemotherapy treatments. I need you to understand that it’s not
uncommon for patients with Hodgkin’s Disease to have relapses. It’s important that we continue
the treatments.”

A forlorn silence answered him from across the desk. Sam sat looking at her hands, which were
laying in her lap. She observed each line across her fingers, each unique pattern, no other thought
would form in her mind.

“Samantha? Would you like me to ask your friend to come in?” Dr. Sigel asked.

The question broke Sam out of her trance, and she heard herself shout, “No!” Dr. Sigel seemed to
flinch at the sudden emotion in Sam’s voice. Samantha regathered herself, and tried to bring all
her energy together to control her response. “Please don’t call her in. I’m fine, really. I’ve been
preparing myself for this. I don’t think she has. I need to tell her in my own time.”

Dr. Sigel nodded, and spent the next half hour explaining the blurry images of the CT scan, and
the surgical procedure scheduled for the following week. By the time Sam exited the small office,
and saw Helen sitting on a cushioned bench in the hallway, she felt breath come easier to her
diseased lungs. Her body’s shaking had calmed to a tremble, and the panic that choked her had
weakened to only a near suffocating pressure. She took in a deep breath, and looked directly into
Helen’s intense blue eyes. She sat down next to Helen, and never broke eye contact. A moment
later, down the dim hospital corridor, a young girl sat on a similarly cushioned bench. She held a
plush stuffed gray elephant to her chest. The sound of a woman’s muffled cries brought her
attention to the two women seated only a few feet away. She saw one small blonde haired woman
hold in her arms another woman with dark long flowing black hair. They held each other for such
a long time, that the girl thought they would never move again, until finally the dark haired
woman opened her swollen moist eyes. The blue depths focused on the small girl. Their eyes met
for a brief moment, and then the woman looked away. She loosened her embrace of the smaller
woman, and they looked at each other saying words so soft that the young girl couldn’t hear.
They stood to leave, leaning on each other for strength. The young girl watched them go with a
profound disappointment at their departure. All day she had sat here, waiting for her mother and
father, and all day she had seen the same scene played over and over. She had learned quickly that
this was a place of sad news. She wondered when her mother and father would come out of the
small office, and she wondered if they’d all cry as everyone else did. She glanced one last time at
the two women walking away down the hall. The taller woman now had her arm around the
smaller woman, and their silhouettes blended into one as they continued to walk. The last thing
the little girl heard before the two women turned the corner was a voice that turned into a whisper
by the time it carried to the little girl’s ears, saying, “Everything’s going to be all right.” It echoed
down the hall, repeating itself over and over. ‘Maybe it will be,” the little girl thought.

Chapter 10

“Take me some where,” Sam asked as they drove through the crowded Austin highway.

“Where?” Helen asked.

“I don’t know. Anywhere. Make me forget.”

Helen let her gaze linger on Sam’s pale face. “Anywhere?”

“Anywhere,” Sam answered.

Helen nodded with a sad smile, and headed for the next exit. She turned right on Davis Street, and
soon they reached Zilker Park, an oasis located directly in the heart of the city, although when
you’re in the park you’d never realize it. Helen pulled into an empty parking space, and turned the
car engine off. The two women sat in companionable silence, too many emotions to speak. Helen
turned to look at Sam, as she gazed off at the many colored wildflowers with the eyes of an artist.
With one glance, she could take it all in, the color, the line, the flow of the land. She could pick
out one person in the crowd, and make that person the only one who existed. After all, isn’t that
what she did for me, Helen thought.

“Come on,” Helen said softly as she gestured to the water below.

“We’re not going swimming, are we?” Sam asked skeptically, knowing that Barton Springs was a
bone chilling 68 degrees year round. But then again, she thought to herself, if that didn’t make her
forget, what could?

Helen laughed with her sweet way. “Oh no! You couldn’t drag me in that water. I was thinking
we could rent a canoe.”

Sam smiled at the idea, and both women got out of the car. As they walked, a memory struck
Sam. “You know in the winter, they have the Polar Bear swims down here at Barton Springs,
don’t you?” Sam asked mischievously.

Helen caught the sly grin, and nodded.

“You know the trick is that the water is always the same temperature. The only thing that changes
is the outside temperature.”

“Oh, Sam. You didn’t.”

Sam’s smile widened.

“You did!” laughed Helen.

“It was wonderful! I’ll take you this winter. You’ll love me for it.”

The two women made eye contact at the mention of the future, and neither said the thought that
both were thinking. They walked through the green hilly park, until they reached a canoe hut by
the river’s edge, where brightly colored canoes lined the shore. Helen paid for one, and with
Sam’s help, they turned over a dark blue canoe at the end of the line, and they slid it into the
water’s edge. Helen gestured to Sam to get in the front, while Helen gave a final push before
jumping in herself. The mirror surface of the springs broke as the tip of the canoe gently sliced
through the dark water. Sam watched on as Helen expertly guided the canoe down the center of
the broad river, and breathed a sigh of relief as the sun shine created a warm sensation down her
back. She closed her eyes, and tilted her head back, to catch the sun on her face. She opened her
eyes, and saw the crystal blue of the clear sky, and looked back down to see the color mirrored in
her companion’s eyes. Samantha smiled in gratitude.

“Do you approve?” Helen asked.

Samantha nodded. “You’re good at this.”

“Good at what?”

“Making me feel better,” Samantha answered as she looked down at the ground beneath the
water’s surface. It looked so close, when in reality, Sam knew it must be about fifteen feet down,
or deeper.

Helen stopped paddling, and she looked off at the shore’s edge where children ran along the quiet
flow of the river. “Oh Sam,” Helen breathed, struggling not to let tears flow. “I want so much to
defeat this for you. I feel so helpless,” she said bitterly.

“Without you, I would have given up so long ago. You make me believe this can be defeated.”

Just as Helen was losing her hope, it was Samantha’s turn to make Helen believe again, just as
Helen had done for her.

“I love you, Sam,” Helen stated shyly, but boldly to the woman across from her.

Sam looked up from the water with surprise in her eyes. Helen couldn’t read her expression at
first, and she wondered at Sam’s reaction, but she didn’t regret saying it.

Delight touched Sam’s green eyes then, mixed with a quiet tenderness that broke Helen’s heart.
Silent tears spilled out of the bottom of Sam’s eyes. “I love you,” she said with unwavering
certainty. “Thank you.”

Helen didn’t have to ask for what, she picked up the almost forgotten paddles, and made her way
gently down Barton Springs. Thirty minutes later, Helen turned at the opening of the bridge, and
she let the canoe flow with the river’s current back to the canoe hut. By the time they had
returned to the water’s shore line, their skin was tinged with the blush of sun. They walked
contentedly through the winding trails of Zilker Park.

“I want to tell you something, and I don’t want you to be angry with me,” Sam said as they
reached a fork in the trail.

“It would pretty hard for you to make me angry.”

“I have this feeling deep inside of me. I don’t know if it’s fear or intuition, but sometimes I feel
this calm certainty come over me that I’m not going to make it through this.” Sam winced,
waiting for the reaction she was sure would come.

Helen hesitated, expressionless. “That’s strange. My intuition tells me just the opposite. You will
make it through this, Sam.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“How could I breath if I thought otherwise?”

“So you believe it because you want to believe it,” Sam offered sadly.

Helen thought carefully before answering. “I believe it because it’s the only thing that feels true.”
Helen paused, and forced herself to go on. “When I try to think of losing you, the thought never
completes itself. I don’t want to lose you, Sam.”

“You won’t.”

* * * * * * *

Samantha stood in the studio of her third floor apartment in front of an empty canvas. She held a
large softened brush loosely in her right hand, and studied in her mind what she wished to paint.
The image was so clear in her mind’s eye that she feared even trying to paint it would change her
remembrance of the moment. She wanted so much, though, to capture that instant and make it
permanent. She wanted to portray that fresh breeze that came off the still water to whisper in their
hair. She wanted to paint that small dimple next to Helen’s right eye when she smiled with all her
face. Mostly, though, she wanted to be able to capture the moment with all it’s emotion and all
the joy it gave her. The image flowed through her heart and into her arm, where it spilled out of
her hand, through the brush, and onto the canvas.

The sun had descended behind the horizon by the time Samantha stepped back from the easel to
inspect her work. A proud grin jumped to her lips at the image before her of Helen Riley rowing a
canoe down Barton Springs. Her near black hair flowed out behind her like a horse’s mane, and
the sun caught her blue eyes and turned them a deep violet. Her lips were pursed in a shy smile,
with only the twinkle in her eyes giving away the sureness she felt in her words. How much trust
and faith it had taken to bare her heart so openly. How did I ever find such a person, and how did
she ever become such a great part of my life, Sam thought to herself. What could I have ever
done to deserve such a loyal extraordinary friend?

The painting was all that Sam wanted it to be. She covered if with a clean drop cloth, and moved
the easel to the back of the room out of the light of the window.

She had promised Helen that she would spend the night before the surgery at Helen’s home.
Helen wanted so much to take care of her, and Sam needed so much to be taken care of. She had
just one thing to do before she could drive herself over to Helen’s house.

By the time Samantha pulled into the parking lot of the large Church, the sun had set and
moonless darkness had set in. Dim light peered through the colorful images of the stained glass.
Sam felt a reverent calm come over her, and she walked through the empty parking lot and
through the heavy wooden doors. Absolute silence greeted her, and she quietly stepped into the
expansive hallway. Every Sunday up until she learned of her cancer, Samantha had come to this
church, not out of the habit instilled in her by her conservative parents, but by the peace it always
offered to her. There had been only one constant through out her life, it hadn’t been her parents,
who were divorced when she was only seven, nor her sister, who even now seemed a stranger to
her. It wasn’t her painting, which seemed to abandon her at will, nor all the loves of her life, who
came and went with the seasons. It was God. Now she came to Him once more before the
greatest struggle of her life.

Samantha walked into the empty sanctuary, which was filled with a solemn silence that settled on
Samantha like a warm blanket. The long wooden benches looked invitingly comfortable, so she
sat near the back and to the left of the podium. A silent whispered prayer came to her lips, “Be
merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth thee: yea, in the shadow of
thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.” Never before had the words
contained so much meaning for her. She concentrated on each breath that moved in and out of her
body. She concentrated on the beating rhythm of her heart that pulsed through her chest and neck.
Sam placed one hand to her cheek, which felt hot and flushed with life. Life.

With a deep sigh, Sam stood from the wooden bench, and made her way out of the sanctuary. Her
mind focused in on one thought as the cool night breeze hit her face. “I have to get to Helen.”

* * * * * * *

“Sitcom, commercial, sitcom,” Helen murmured as she flipped through channel after channel. She
sat on the couch with her feet curled up under her knees, impatiently waiting for Sam to arrive.
Helen anxiously checked her watch again for the third time in five minutes. “Come on Sam,” she
pleaded to the empty room.

In answer a quick soft tap came at the door. Helen leaped over the back of the sofa, and hurried
to open the front door. A breath of relief escaped her lips, and in the same instant she reached out
to grab Sam and lead her into the house. Sam was happy not to resist.

“I thought I was going to have to send a search party out for you,” Helen gently chided.

“I was worried you would,” Sam said with a playful tease. “I’m not that late, am I?”

Helen raised her eyebrows. “Where did you go anyway?”

“I stopped by a church,” Sam answered with wariness.

Helen hesitated and nodded. “I would have come with you.” Her voice got quieter as she added,
“if you needed me.”

Sam sat down on the couch where Helen had been sitting. She sunk down into the warmth left
there by Helen’s body, and Helen took a seat next to her. Sam shot Helen an inquisitive look. “I
do need you. It was just something that I wanted to do before...tomorrow.” Helen nodded in
understanding.

“Have you eaten?” Helen asked breaking the uncomfortable tension that had risen in the air. “I
didn’t feel like cooking, but I did put together some pasta and sauce.”

“I don’t think I should eat. I don’t feel hungry anyway.” Sam looked to the tv, and smiled. “What
are you watching?”

“Heh, you don’t want to know. I was channel surfing, I hate channel surfing.”

“Helen? Can I ask you something?” Sam asked.

“Of course.”

“Do you think you’ll always live here, in Austin?”

“I hadn’t thought about it. I don’t know. Why?”

“Would you ever leave?”

“Maybe, if I had a good enough reason.”

“Before I met you, I had been considering leaving Austin. I wanted to change my whole world.
New York has great art galleries. Then I found out I was sick, and I knew that I would never go.
It made my heart ache, but then I met you and I began to think to myself, why go to the other half
of the country to look for what I had right here? You’re family to me, Helen. My world changed,
and I didn’t even have to leave the city limits.”

“Your life isn’t the only one changed.” Helen smiled. “New York, huh? Have you ever been to
New York?” Sam shook her head. “I’ll take you there. It’s like a country all it’s own. It’s crazy,
and fun, and a little out of control.”

Sam laughed. “Let me guess, that’s the fun part.”

“Oh, that’s just the beginning. First, of course, I’ll take you to all the galleries until you drop from
exhaustion. Then I’ll treat you to the best Italian food you have ever eaten. Then it will take us
three days just to take in all the Broadway you’ll want to see. I know this great quiet spot off the
bay, where I know you’ll want to paint. You’ll love it.”

Sam smiled, enjoying the daydream. “When will you take me there?”

“Just say the word, and we’ll go.”

“I’m going to hold you to that, you know,” Sam assured Helen.

“I’m hoping you will.”

“Isn’t it a little early to be making plans for the future? Everything past tomorrow seems so far
away.” Sam mentioned, unable to put the thought away.

“You’re not the only one who’s been praying.” Helen reached out for Samantha’s hand. “I know
you feel alone, but you’re not. I have faith in you.”

Sam closed her eyes, just to pause the moment in her mind. She wasn’t alone. The words pierced
her grief, and she laughed in delight. And yet somehow, a tear still managed to fall from her eyes.
“I’m not alone,” she repeated.

Helen knew she should let Sam rest, but she couldn’t seem to let her go. They sat on the couch,
with old sitcoms on the tv in the background. Their hands were still clasped. They talked, and
they talked. They talked about the future with no fear that it wouldn’t come.

Chapter 11

After she had been taken to an operating room, nurses clothed in green scrubs began to bustle
around the small room. On nurse hovered over Sam, stroking her cheek softly, as if she were a
small child. Sam found it comforting. As her anticipation climaxed to beyond unbearable, a doctor
finally came in, also clad in scrubs. He seated himself behind Samantha, and examined equipment
that was beyond Sam’s line of vision.

‘Just knock me unconscious already,’ Sam thought to herself. Her heart throbbed loudly in her
ears, and her vision seemed to have a red frame that pulsed with her heart. She could feel her
fingers tremble beneath the cool sheet, and shivers shot up her spine every time she looked up to
see the overwhelming light beaming on her from above. Just knowing that Helen wasn’t far away
gave her the peace of mind to breathe normally.

Finally as more green clad people began to enter the small room, a heavy weighted mask was
placed on her mouth.

“Good morning Samantha. My name is Dr. Rosin, and I’m your anesthesiologist today. I want
you to continue to breath normally.”

A thick feeling began to move into Sam’s throat. She thought she would choke as the slight
feeling turned into the closing of her throat. ‘Breathe normally,’ she told herself.

“Samantha, count from ten to one backwards for me,” Dr. Rosin asked.

‘Ok, here we go. I’ll be out by the time I hit one,’ Sam thought.

“Ten...Nine.” A warm sensation rushed through her chest, and down through her arms. It moved
into her legs, and wrapped itself around her, inviting her to sleep. The warmth flushed into her
cheeks, and made her eyelids heavy. She closed her eyes, and felt herself float as if in water.
“Eight.” Was she still counting? She couldn’t tell. She felt the last tingling leave her body, and left
in it’s place only a numbness that felt heavy and thick. “Sev...en” Samantha struggled with the last
moments of consciousness. Her mind fought to stay awake, even as her body fell into a deep
sleep.

* * * * * * *

Helen sat and watched as Linda paced back and forth over the black and white linoleum. Helen
had brought Samantha into the hospital by six in the morning, and Linda and her husband, Paul
had showed up by seven. They had pushed Helen aside, lingering over Samantha until the nurses
came to take her. As she was wheeled out, Samantha smiled tenderly as if she were the one
comforting Helen. Helen smiled back, and winked at Sam just as she turned the corner. That had
been three hours ago, and the image of Sam still remained vivid in Helen’s mind.

“Linda, sit down. Let me get you some coffee,” Helen offered.

“How much longer?” Linda asked Paul, ignoring Helen.

“Hours, Linda. Sit down,” he answered.

Grudgingly she sat in a single padded blue chair, and put her head in her hands. Helen sighed in
discomfort, and put her first two fingers to her lips. She blew the sigh out heavily, and shifted her
weight.

Two hours passed, and no doctor had come out yet to inform them of the progress. Helen felt
herself becoming more and more troubled. Just when Helen was sure she couldn’t take it much
longer, Linda rose from her seat and crossed over to Helen’s couch. She stared hard at Helen,
then dropped to sit next to her on the couch.

“I was talking to Dr. Sigel yesterday. He said that Sam missed several chemo appointments a few
weeks ago.”

Helen sat silently, waiting for what she knew would come.

“Did you know that Sam was having second thoughts about treatment?” Linda asked accusingly.

Helen debated with her answer. What Sam had told Helen was for Helen’s ears only, and she was
determined to keep it that way. “Did you ask Sam?”

“I thought you would know. You and Sam seem to be pretty close friends.”

“You would have to ask Sam about her treatments,” Helen persisted.

“It’s a little hard to do that right now.”

“Ask her when she’s up and around after the surgery.”

Linda frowned. “I started to think, what if putting the treatments off caused her to get worse?”

Helen turned suddenly to face Linda. “Don’t ever say that to Sam. Are you blaming her?”

“I’m not blaming her. I just wonder if someone convinced her to put off the treatments.”

Helen closed her eyes to the hot white fury that welded up from within her. “Would that someone
be me, by any chance?”

“I’m not accusing you. I don’t know why she would put off treatments, that’s all.” Linda
backtracked, and turned her body away from Helen.

“Your sister is a fighter, and if you don’t know that, then you don’t know her,” Helen said
angrily.

“No, you’re right. I don’t know her anymore. For months she has ignored me. She’s avoided me.
But she confides in a stranger. Honestly, that hurts.”

Helen felt her anger melt away into sorrow. “She needed a friend. I would think you’d be happy
that she had someone.”

“She needed a friend, but not her family?”

“I can’t speak for Sam. I know she loves you though. I know she needs you. She’ll need all of
us,” Helen said softly.

Linda’s shoulders slumped, and she got up to retake her seat across from Helen. “Oh Sam,” Helen
whispered.

* * * * * * *

Someone was holding her, she wasn’t sure who. They were sponging her face and stroking her
hair. The person moved with a deliberate movement, efficient and gentle. The person spoke, so
softly, that Sam could barely make out the words.

“How will I know you’re all right unless you wake up and tell me?”

The voice was so familiar. The person was holding her now, rocking back and forth stroking her
forehead softly. Suddenly the dream changed, and the person was shouting, and gripping at
Samantha’s hands.

“Fight! Wake up, please. Come back to me. Wake up...”

The voice came from farther and farther away. Just then Sam recognized the voice, it was Helen.
Just as she reached out, she caught Helen’s fingertip, but it wasn’t enough. The figure became
darker and darker, just as the room darkened as well.

“Helen!” she screamed into the blackness. But it was too late. She was already gone. The inky
black over came Sam, and she drifted away into dreamless rest.

* * * * * * *

Helen jerked up when she saw the young man walking toward them. He was dressed in green
scrubs with a fresh white physician’s coat. He held a small pair of spectacles in his hand, and he
polished the glass surface with the pocket of his jacket. He looked up to meet Helen’s eyes, and
he quickly cast his eyes back down to the floor. Helen stood, and Linda and Paul. joined her when
they saw the doctor headed their way.

‘Breath. Just breath,” Helen instructed herself as the doctor finally stood before them. He placed
his glasses back on his face, and pulled a chart out from under his arm.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Poul.” He paused then, and in that pause Helen saw her whole life. With his next
sentence, he could provide her with the words she ached to hear, or he could destroy her. She
inhaled deeply, and waited.

Dr. Poul flipped through several sheets of paper before removing his glasses. He nervously rubbed
the bridge of his nose in apparent fatigue. “I’m looking for a Mrs. Linda Rentrow. Would that be
you?” the young doctor asked, glancing at Linda.

“Yes, that’s me,” she answered anxiously.

“I want to update you on her condition. Dr. Groomer is five hours into a seven hour operation.
Samantha is holding up well through the surgery, the only problems we’ve encountered was an
irregular heartbeat picked up by the anesthesiologist.”

“An irregular heartbeat? What does that mean?” Linda asked warily.

“It is a sign of internal stress, it happens, not uncommonly, in surgery. It’s nothing to be alarmed
at, but we do have to be cautious, and it’s something Dr. Rosin will monitor. Dr. Groomer will
come personally to update you once the surgery has been completed.” The young man, clearly
uncomfortable at having to deal with anxious families looked eager to turn around and walk away.

“Wait. Is that all you can tell us. She’s been in there for hours. Can’t you tell us whether or not
they can remove the cancer?” Helen asked weakly.

“It would be better if you could hold your questions for Dr. Groomer. He would be better
qualified to answer any concerns you may have.”

“Will we be able to see her when they’re through?”

“The patient will be taken to a recovery room, and you should be able to see her then. I wish I had
more news for you,” the doctor answered, in apology. He dropped his head, and turned around to
walk away back toward the operating room, back toward Samantha.

Paul took Linda by the shoulder and led her toward the elevator. “I’m taking her for some coffee.
Would you like to come?” he asked over his shoulder.

“No thanks,” Helen answered without looking away from the empty spot where the doctor had
last been. When she finally came to herself, she was standing alone in a circle of empty chairs and
couches. She wanted to turn to someone, to be comforted by someone, but the only one who ever
truly mattered was a world and a room away. She sat down heavily on the nearest chair, and
clenched her jaw. There’s nothing I can do for her, she thought to herself. There’s nothing I can
do.

Time lost it’s meaning as Helen sat alone, waiting. Her sightless eyes didn’t see Paul and Linda
when they had returned. She didn’t see the parade of well wishers who came in and out of the
hospital, friends of Sam, or Linda. She didn’t see Wilson, or Noah as they came in and spoke
quietly with Samantha’s family. She didn’t hear Gwen as she tried to comfort a sobbing Linda.
She only saw the face of the one she longed to see.

* * * * * * *

When Samantha awoke, she felt achy with pain in every limb. Her head throbbed, and felt heavy
as lead. Her throat felt constricted and her mouth was dry with thirst. She turned her head
carefully to look out the covered window for any hint of the time. She could see no trace of
daylight. Her pillow had shifted below her head, so she lifted up to be more comfortable only to
scream soundlessly at the shot of pain that rang through her chest. She gave in to her protesting
body, and lay where she was.

A moment of fear passed over her as she lay alone in the dark unfamiliar room. She longed to call
out for someone, but she didn’t have much confidence in her strength to do even that. A drowsy
haze dropped on her, and she gave into it’s tempting release.

* * * * * * *

She felt a gentle hand stoke her hair away from her face, felt soft lips touch her forehead, smelled
the familiar scent of lavender, fresh soap, and leather. She lay still enjoying the tender
ministrations, so thankful that here in this world half way between sleep and wakefulness, she felt
no pain. A place where you were allowed to feel the wonderful sensations, instead of only the
aching ones.

Hesitantly she slowly opened her eyes to the blurry image of a beautiful sight. Helen sat before her
with tired eyes, and her shoulders slumped in exhaustion, but even through all of that Sam could
see the glow shining from her face. It lifted Sam up to a place only Helen seemed to be able to
take her.

Helen’s face broke into a simple sweet smile. If Sam had the energy, she would have smiled back,
but she only squeezed Helen’s hand which held hers.

“I made it,” Sam whispered through dry lips.

Helen let out a small relieved laugh. “I said you would, didn’t I?” Helen turned to search out a
pitcher of water. She saw what she was looking for on a tray across the room. Reluctantly, Helen
released her grip of Sam’s hand, and she stood from the small chair to cross the room.

“Where are you going?” Sam asked in a weak voice.

“I’m just going to get you some water” Helen assured her.

“Did you read my mind?”

“But of course!”

“You’re good,” Sam stated, her voice sounding stronger as she used it more.

Helen returned with a half full glass of water. She gently lifted Sam up, and held the glass for her
while she sipped as much water as she possibly could. She eased her back down, and moved her
pillow up under her head.

“What time is it?”

“It’s about five in the morning.”

“You’ve been here all night?”
“Of course. Where did you think I would go?”

“Did you talk to the doctor?” Sam asked quietly.

“Yes, I talked to Dr. Groomer. He said that everything went extremely well, and that they
removed a large tumor from your right lung. He also said that he could find no further signs of
cancer. Now that doesn’t mean you’re cancer free, he just didn’t see any other visible tumors. He
was very positive about everything,” Helen said with evident relief in her face.

Sam looked away, taking in all that Helen had told her. “Everything went well?”

“Yes.” Helen took Samantha’s hand in her own, and began stroking her cheek. Sam closed her
eyes and soon she was asleep again.

Chapter 12

Time is such a strange thing. It passes ever so quickly, leaving us changed in it’s wake. It gives
and it takes away. Time gave Samantha healing, and soon she was well enough to begin her next
course of chemotherapy. It would not be gentle or merciful to her this time. She rose each day
with powerful pain, and overwhelming fatigue. She battled through, taking comfort from the
knowledge that she was ever so close to triumph. Seven weeks of this torture passed before Sam
could complete the treatments. She faced her appointment with dr. Sigel with confidence, even
thought she had prepared herself to hear even the worst of news. She couldn’t prepare Helen
though. Helen had an unshakable faith that Sam would be cured of all the cancer in her body.
Once again, as she had so many times before Sam took strength from this remarkable person.

Dr. Sigel, in amazement, stated that no cancerous cells were found in Sam’s tests. He seemed
speechless, and for the first time since Sam had met him, his voice slipped from professional to
admiration. Sam laughed when he came around the desk to embrace her in a quick hug. When
they walked out of the doctor’s office, Helen lifted Sam up in a fierce hug, and they wiped away
each other’s tears.

Later, as they sat on the balcony outside Sam’s apartment, Sam asked Helen, “Didn’t you ever
doubt that I would make it?”

Helen looked off at the skyline in thought, and finally she nodded her head. “I did have moments
of doubt. But it just didn’t make any sense to me. I couldn’t understand how you could come into
my life, only to be taken away again. You don’t know how much you’ve changed me. Work use
to be my whole life, but now I have you. I realized life is so much more than work. You taught
me that.”

“Helen, you were an answer to my prayers. Where would I be without you? You saved me, in
more ways than you know.” Sam looked directly into Helen’s eyes, and refused to even blink in
fear the moment would fade away with the sun. She reached over and softly kissed Helen on the
cheek. “Thank you,” she whispered into her ear.

Prologue

Helen was on the phone with Bryan Trask when she heard the doorbell ring. ‘Saved by the
doorbell,’ she told herself. She told Bryan she would call back later, and she walked to the door.
Samantha stood there with a large package tucked under her arm. Helen beckoned her in, and
they walked into the living room where Sam presented the package to Helen. She took it into her
hands like a child on Christmas morning. She tore away the brown wrapping, and let out a thrilled
laugh at the gift she had been given. She threw the wrapping to the side and held the framed
canvas up so the light from the window would fall on it. It was the painting of two people
intertwined together in a sensual private embrace, the painting she had seen at Beth’s apartment
the first day they met so long ago. A bubble of laughter escaped Helen’s throat, and a tender smile
lit up her face. Helen glanced down at the paper wrappings there, and saw a note that had fallen
away onto the floor.

Helen,

Just a small gift to say thank you. I’ll spend the rest of my life
trying to show how grateful I am for you, and your place in my life.
I hope you’ll give me that long.

I love you,

Sam

Helen read the note a third time before placing it on the table, and looking over at Sam.

She could tell this woman, that she was the one who was grateful, she could tell Sam that life had
new meaning because of her, there were so many things to tell this woman. She decided to start
from the beginning, and go from there.

“I love you, Sam.”

When darkness is at your door
and you feel like you can’t take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I’ll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You’re not alone.

Crash and Burn : Savage Garden

Thank you again everyone for all the feedback. You have encouraged me more than you know.

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