Disclaimers: The characters of Xena: Warrior Princess and all other associated with the television series of the same name are owned by MCA/ Universal Pictures. This is a work of fan fiction and no copyright infringement is intended.
Subtext: I guess with my writing so far we'll just quit calling it subtext and call it maintext. Yes they are in love with each other.
Violence: None. Yet<G>
Spoilers: Minor spoilers for A Comedy of Eros
Other: Part thirteen in the series "Legends Legacy". Takes place right after "Up the Nile without a Paddle"
"I could tell her I want one of those." Xe smirks, pointing at one of the pyramids.
Cleopatra was grateful to Xe and I for getting her safely back to Egypt and now we are enjoying the hospitality of her land. Thats why the side trip to Memphis before we go back to Greece and return to our duties. She offered to reward Xe with anything she desired. It was a dangerous offer to make. "And what would you do with it, my dear?"
"Hmm, Im not sure. It just wouldnt look right in Greece would it?"
"No. How about something more practical, like the lighthouse in Alexandria?"
"Nah, too flashy. That damn light would keep me up all night."
I chuckle softly, taking her hand and tugging her toward our tent. "Come on Xe. I got something else to keep you up all night. Besides, you take something like that back with us, youd have historians throughout the ages wracking their brains trying to figure out how it got there. Its not like youd be able to take credit for it."
"Oooo you know that could be fun." She snickers, looking back at Khufus pyramid.
"Xe, behave." I chastise her. She is going to be impossible as the ages pass us by.
I definitely get the feeling my spouse intends to become the consummate practical joker before its over with. Shes going to make scholars crazy with the things shes planning. Im sure theyll have a delightful time trying to figure out exactly how a statue of a bound and gagged Greek God of War ended up in a remote part of Chin. Not to mention the fact that she has taken to dropping coins all over the known world. The sack of things she hid in the cave in India will have them scratching their heads for a very long time.
Inside our tent I turn to her and offer her a smile. "So my dear," I loosen the knot of my tunic and let it fall from my shoulder. "See anything here you like?"
"Oh yeah. Ill take two of those please." She grins, gesturing to my bare chest, before picking me up in her arms and tossing me in the center of the bed.
I step back into her arms, she wraps her cloak around us and we take once last look at the great pyramids before us. "You sure that wouldnt look good right in the center of Athens, Ri? I could just zap it back there with us."
"Just take us home Xe. You try zapping something that big, and youll probably hurt yourself."
"Spoil sport." She mumbles, before the area around us begins shifting and shimmering.
It only seems like a few moments before we are once again back in our living chambers in the Underworld. Xena waves her hand, bringing to life the lamps and the fireplace. She really loves to show off.
"Youre as cocky as Ares." I tease, slipping out of her embrace before she can retaliate.
"No one is as cocky as Ares." She hangs up her helmet and cloak before moving to the couch in front of the fireplace to remove her boots.
The first boot is tossed away, but before the second one can be discarded, Aphrodite suddenly joins us. She shimmers to life right in front of Xe, wearing an outfit that can only be described as what outfit. If they werent related, Id smack her for that.
"Aphrodite " Xe grumbles a bit, removing her other boot. "What do we owe the pleasure of this visit?"
"Umm well cous " She starts, and I watch Xes head drop. She hates it when Aphrodite calls her that. "Theres been a little accident up top I think you need to come look at."
"Is someone hurt?" I move forward quickly, already grabbing Xes cloak and helmet.
Aphrodite places her hands on her hips, chews the inside of her lip and gives it some thought. "No. Or at least not really."
Xe is pulling her boots back on, sighing deeply. "Cut to the chase. Whats going on?"
"I really just think itll be better if you come up top and have a look for yourself."
Oh this just cant be good. I shake my head, placing Xes cloak over her shoulders, handing her the helmet and then taking my place in her arms.
"You know you can use your own powers to take you up top Gabrielle." Aphrodite reminds me as the cloak closes around me.
"Yeah, but, why would I want to?"
"Good point. Lets go."
I recognize the area almost immediately. Its the small village that has sort of started to flourish between the Amazons and the Centaurs. Its on the piece of land that Xe and I live on and raised all our children on so many seasons ago. My how things have changed.
The most amazing, and I think the most ironic part of it all, is that Autolycus has been elected the village magistrate. I have to laugh a bit; its kind of like letting the wolf look after the sheep.
Aphrodite leads us to an area where Cupid is standing with a look of total fear on his face. "I didnt mean for it to happen Xena! I swear!" He defends, before we even have a clear picture of whats going on.
"Im going to rip your wings off arent I?" She growls, advancing on him. "What did you do now?"
He backs away, putting his hands up. "I swear, I didnt mean for it to happen. It was just kinda like that time Bliss " He stammers. "Everyone just kinda got in the way."
I look over to the spot that Aphrodite has nudged my attention to. I find John, Autolycus son with his arms and his lips wrapped soundly around Kessa. Im speechless as I watch my daughter return his affection. "Xe " Its all I can mutter.
Her head snaps around and I point.
She grabs Cupid by the arm and drags him over as she stares at our daughter. "Oh yeah, Im gonna kill you."
"Xena," Aphrodite steps forward in defense of her son. "Is it really that bad? All that happened was that Cupie caused them to find each other."
"What in the name of, well me, happened?" Xe demands from the younger God.
"I was just doing a little spring time love and Kessa stepped in front of an arrow I meant for someone else."
Xe turns to Aphrodite. "Fix this!"
She plants her hands on her hips. "Now, like, you know I cant to that, old tall, dark and grumpy." She looks at the two. "Its not that bad Xena. Hes cute. They make a cute couple."
Xe releases Cupids arm, then turns on his mother. "Aphrodite, my daughter is Queen of the Amazons. Amazons, I might remind you, do not take kindly to men in their midst."
"They seemed to tolerate you " She tries to joke, but it only serves to make Xena angrier. "Okay, okay Im sorry." She defends ducking back from Xena just a bit. The Goddess turns to me. "Absolutely no sense of humor."
"Lord of the Underworld. Its in the contract." I tell her without ever taking my eyes off John and Kess. "Xe?"
"Maybe Kess and Rosa can work something out here. Im mean "
"Forget it Ri! Lets forget just for one moment that its against Amazon tradition, but that boy is the son of the King of Thieves."
"That boy is also the son of your best friend!" I take the time to remind her. "You and Autolycus would have died for each other and very nearly did a couple of time if I remember right. Do you remember when Kess was sick?"
"Yes " She drops her head a little.
"Who helped you get to Artemis?"
"Auto " It drops a little more.
"And did he hesitate?"
"No " Now she gives it a little shake
"Did he even so much as blink when you told him you needed his help?"
"So," I take her hand, giving it a tug. "I would not be a bad thing if Kess and John "
"Oh all right!" She tosses her hands up in the air. "But if, and only if, its without his help." She glares at Cupid. "No interference from the family on this one." She stalks back over the Cupid. "Which means you find a way to undo the spell."
"Im not sure I can."
"Well I suggest you find a way or Im going to bed with a new feather pillow tonight." She plucks one of his feathers for good measure and hands it to me. "Need a new quill?"
I sigh, taking the feather. "Xena please be nice. Its not going to do anyone any good if you stay cranky. Well all put our heads together and find an answer to this." I move to Cupid, at least he doesnt flinch when I approach him. "That time that Baby Bliss caused all that havoc you just zapped us all back to normal." I shiver a bit with the memory. Except for Draco but he was never normal to begin with. "Why cant you do that this time?"
"Well, those were not my most potent arrows. These on the other hand," He offers me one of the arrows. "Are my best work. Its not easy to undo these. Not to mention it could have really bad side effects."
"Well since it was Kess that was hit, she might feel rebuffed and if she does I dont want to be here when the Amazons ride in and destroy this village."
Xe is standing with her arms crossed still watching our daughter. "How about we just try throwing a cold bucket of water on them?"
"Then theyll just be wet and horny." Aphrodite answers with a giggle.
I turn and warn Xe. "Not one damn word!"
She puts her hands up and shrugs. "I said nothing."
"You didnt have to."
Kess is pacing back and forth, completely furious. She stops, glares at Xe then turns to me. "Mom this is completely ridiculous."
I take a deep breath. "Kess, sweetheart," I get up from the table and move to our daughter. "We had to bring you back here until we can find a way to undo this."
"I dont want you to undo this. I love him."
"You only think you love him." Xe offers from her spot leaning on the wall.
"So, because you disapprove, youre going to hold me here in the underworld against my will? Somehow that doesnt seem quite fair. I thought you werent allowed to interfere."
"Youre my daughter. Ill interfere if I want."
"Lovely set of double standards Mother." Kess turns to me. "Mom isnt there anything you can do?"
"Un-huh, I can agree with your mother in this one. If you truly love him then thats fine, but if the affection youre feeling is because of Cupids arrow then we need to find a way to take that spell off. Freewill is the most important thing Kess."
"Well isnt that just a little hypocritical coming from the wife of the God of the Underworld?"
"No. Your Mother never uses her powers to influence others."
She gestures around her. "Oh yeah I can see that." She grumbles.
They just had to get Xes argumentative, stubborn streak didnt they? "Kess just give us a couple of days."
"Not, like I have a lot of choice. Does Rosa know Ive been kidnapped or is she going to have the entire Amazon nation out looking for a missing Queen?"
"We sent a message to your sister via Mel."
"Ah yes, big sister. Did she agree to this?"
"Doesnt matter." Xe grumbles a bit. "Its what your mom and I think is best."
"So what I think doesnt matter?"
"Of course it does, sweetheart," I offer before this can turn into more of an argument. "We just want to make sure that youre making the best decision."
She finally nods. "All right, but I want you," She turns to Xe. "To promise me you will not do anything else to John. It wasnt necessary to throw him in the lake like that."
"Yes it was." Xe says dryly before moving to the table and pouring a cup of tea.
"It was better than killing him."
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