by

Sinful
sinful@telus.net

Warrior, Bard and Healer

** At the end we are reminded of the beginning - Rox, Jamie, Laura, MaryD & Hunter ... without you ... there would be no Sinful.

Conclusion

To live your life a second time,
Without the knowledge in your mind.
Would you arrive where you left off?
With who you loved and who you lost.
Cause a heart holds no memory,
Just the love you had for me.
But once I know just who I am.
I will find you ... the past be damned!

Ephiny was still sitting on the steps, the afternoon sun warming her relaxed features. She was thankful she didn't hear anymore sounds of furniture breaking.

"Between her and Eponin the chair population is definitely dwindling." The regent smiled at her own thoughts.

The serenity of the afternoon was suddenly broken by the sound of Xena’s scream. Ephiny was up and through the doors, her heart was pounding loudly against her chest. A cold chill went through her heart when she realized what was being screamed. Before she could reach the door to their bedroom, she heard Xena angrily snarl.

"GET OUT!"

Ephiny opened the door as Gabrielle ran inadvertently into her arms. Ephiny held onto the shaking, sobbing bard, as she looked over the blonde hair at Xena.

The dark warrior was sitting on the floor, her hands were clinched in fists of rage. Her reddened face was frighteningly emotionless, but her eyes held the pure hatred that was surging through her body. A low growl came from deep within the warrior's throat.

"You too, Ephiny. I know you were there as well. Get out of my sight, both of you." Her eyelids lowered over her ice blue eyes as Xena sent out a deadly glare.

Ephiny felt the tremble of fear go through her own body. She had seen Xena like this once before. Unfortunately, that is what they were doomed to live through again.

The regent held firmly as she felt Gabrielle trying to pull away from her. All the bard wanted to do was to leave, but Ephiny refused to let her go. She wanted to stop this nightmare here and now.

The Queen glared back into Xena's eyes of rage.

"Xena. Get a hold of yourself. All of that was in the past. It's been dealt with already and it’s over."

"Not for me it isn't. The little bitch lied to me ... Now and then. Because of her my son is dead. Her bastard child killed my son!"

Ephiny could see the loathing in Xena's eyes, and could hear the venom in her words. And the regent could see them both growing. She knew she had to get Gabrielle out of here, once again her life was in danger from the blinding anger of the warrior princess. The only difference this time was they were aware of what Xena’s fury could do. But this time, Xena wasn’t physically capable of taking on all of the Amazons. The usually formidable force of the mighty Xena wasn't what it once had been.

As Xena started to rise, Ephiny fired off her own command.

"Xena stay down. You are not going to hurt Gabrielle this time."

A waiting warrior stepped through the door. Ephiny was relived to see the powerful body of Nazalon as she stood between the Queens and the dark warrior seething on the floor.

"I won’t let you." Nazalon said in a firm voice. She hadn't wanted to, but the Amazon warrior unsheathed her sword. A quiet reluctant Eponin joined Nazalon's side.

Xena glared, hatred and loathing oozed from her body. The ice blue eyes shot daggers from beneath half closed eyelids. The dark warrior knew she couldn't beat them both. In a low evil growl she stated slowly.

"Then Get Out! ... Get that lying, betraying bitch out of my sight!"

Ephiny collected the shattered body of Gabrielle into her arms. She turned to her warriors and simple stated. "Let it go," and she left the room.

Nazalon backed out of the room as Eponin just stood there, looking down at the trembling form of Xena. The warrior princess’ emotions were totally out of control.

"Eponin let's go. You heard Ephiny."

"Just give me a minute. I'll be all right." The quiet warrior closed the door on the departing Nazalon.

The two warriors just stared at each other. The dark force on the floor had yet to speak, so Eponin spoke first.

"Xena ... search your true feelings. This is all in the past. You got over it before and you will again. It was a horrible thing that happened between you two. There is nothing you can do to change what happened."

"Are you finished?" Xena spat.

Eponin realized her words were having no effect. "Yes."

"Then get out!"

The warrior stood for a moment longer, then silently turned and left the room.

Eponin noticed the Amazon guards now standing outside the door. She spoke quietly and sadly, but they all heard the words clearly.

"Remember the woman in there is our friend and she's in a lot of pain. You are to interfere if, and only if, she is going to harm someone, or herself. Be watchful, be leery, and be very careful." Eponin turned in search of her Queens.

Ephiny was just coming out of her bedroom, she turned and closed the door quietly. Eponin was certain that was where Gabrielle must have been.

"She all right?" The regent shook her head no.

"So what do we do now, Ephiny?"

The Queen took a big breath and sat down on one of the chairs. She dropped her head into her hands.

Nazalon was standing in the corner, her arms were crossed as she leaned against the wall. Eponin glanced from one to the other. No one said a word.

After awhile Ephiny stood slowly and started for the front doors. "Stay here," she said as she left the palace.

Ephiny stood on the front steps of the palace looking down at her village. Slowly she descended the stairs and turned and headed up the hill, heading to the only place she could think of. The only person who might be able to help the situation.

The priestess lifted her head as the door to the temple opened. She was pleased to see her Queen standing there, this was not a place she frequented often.

"My Queen?" the priestess questioned.

"I would like to be alone."

The priestess nodded and quickly left the temple.

Ephiny stood for a moment looking around the inner sanctum. Her eyes came to rest on the marble alter. Taking a few hesitant steps she brought herself directly in front of it, and she looked up at the statue of Artemis. She closed her eyes and dropped her head back. Pausing for a breath, she opened her eyes and spoke.

"Artemis, Goddess of the Moon and of the Hunt, hear me please. I need your help ... Your chosen one needs your help." She closed her eyes and waited. She heard nothing and she felt nothing.

"Artemis, I need your wisdom ... I need to speak to you, please." The regent begged, she knew this was a long shot, but she hoped because it was Gabrielle, the Goddess may appear. The temple remained silent and still.

"Artemis, I'm pleading ... Please. I don't know what else to do. I can't watch them tear each other apart again. Aphrodite said without one the other would die. I saw what happened last time, they almost killed each other. We can't let that happen again. Please." Ephiny stood with her arms out wide, but still there was only silence.

The Queen sat down on the bench, she felt lost and dejected. She dropped her head into her hands, she had lost, and so had they. There was nothing she could do to help her friends.

"That's not true." The peaceful voice of Artemis filled the temple.

The startled Queen lifted her head to see the Goddess sitting beside her.

"You have helped. You have been there for both of them when they have needed you, Ephiny."

"But they're tearing each other apart again. You have to do something."

"There's nothing I can do. Xena has to remember on her own. Until she remembers everything of whom she is and of whom Gabrielle is ... or remember who we are. There is nothing I, or any of us, can do." The soft voice of the Goddess held its own helplessness.

"But Gabrielle is your chosen one. How can you just sit by and watch this happen to her?"

Artemis didn't speak at first. It was well-known feelings were a mortal problem, not something a Goddess normally went through. But shame and disappointment at Her inability to find Xena for Gabrielle had affected Her greatly. She could still feel the sting of the bard’s words of rejection.

"Gabrielle is no longer my chosen one." Ephiny's mouth dropped at the admission of rejection. Before the regent could ask, Artemis answered.

"Her choice ... not mine."

"I don't understand. Her choice?"

"The first night Xena was back. Well ... lets just say, I had a very unhappy, and very angry, visitor. She let me know very clearly ... I had failed her." Her soft voice dropped even quieter at the words She had spoken. It was like the Goddess was speaking to herself.

"It was the only time Gabrielle had ever asked for My help, and there was nothing I could do to help her."

"So then help her now." Pleaded Ephiny.

"I can't. Don't you understand? There's nothing I can do now, unless she asks for it. I cannot go to her, she has to come to Me. It was her decision. I'm sorry Ephiny ... believe Me. I am sorry." With a flash of light Artemis was gone and once again Ephiny sat alone.

The regent had been gone for over a candlemark. The palace was as quiet as a tomb. Eponin and Nazalon sat deep in thought in the common room. Neither had said a word since the Queen had left. It was like they were waiting ... and they both knew they were. It was too quiet, too still. Their Amazon instincts were peaking, so it was no surprise when Xena's bedroom door opened, both women were on their feet, armed and at the ready.

There was no emotion on Xena's face, but the blue eyes darted around the hall at the guards who nervously stood by.

"Wait outside," was all Eponin needed to say. The guards happily left their posts and the dark warrior standing in front of them. Xena's head had turned when Eponin had spoken, but she made no move until the guards had left the palace.

The two Amazons separated as Xena entered the common room. They continued to move keeping themselves between the dark warrior and their broken Queen. They knew they couldn't allow the angry warrior princess passed.

"What do you want Xena?" Nazalon asked never taking her eyes off the circling woman.

Xena stopped directly in front of the two Amazons. Eponin knew the door to the royal chambers was right behind them.

"I want the one who betrayed me. I want Gabrielle." The scar running the length of her face, only added to the sinister look in her eyes. Xena squared her feet and drew her sword out with her left hand.

Nazalon had never seen the dark side of Xena, the evil side that had once been a warlord, the destroyer of Nations. But she knew that's who was standing before them. The half-closed glare of her icy blue eyes was enough to make your blood run cold. Nazalon steadied herself. She had no intensions of backing down.

"You'll have to go through us to get her."

"I don’t see that as a problem." Xena twirled her sword in her hand.

"Xena ... You don’t want to do this." Eponin said quietly. She could feel the sweat gathering on her palms. It wasn’t fear of the pending fight, it was dread of fighting her friend.

The three stood staring, gauging, looking for a weakness, any opening in the enemy now before them. It was Eponin who decided to make the first move. She took one firm step and stood in front of Nazalon. The quiet warrior looked deep into the raging blue eyes. She was looking for any sign of her friend, but all she saw was anger and resentment. The two old friends locked in a battle of wills, neither had wanted to draw on the other.

Eponin hoped she wasn't making a fatal mistake.

She took another step forward ... and dropped her sword. The outstretched sword of the warrior princess pressed against her throat. No words were spoken when Xena’s lip lifted in an evil grin. The two continued their battles of wills, warrior against warrior, stare against glare. Eponin thought, or maybe just hoped, that she saw a flicker in the icy blue eyes. But her heart skipped a beat as she felt the pressure of the sword increase. She had hoped Xena wouldn't be able to kill her, but the woman who stood before her was out of control. Eponin took one last chance at saving her friend’s soul, and her own life

"Xena, you don't want to do this. Feel your heart. It's all in the past, you’re just reliving it. It's been over for a long time." The dark warrior said nothing. Eponin could feel the sword moving, as Xena's body was slightly swaying. The weeks of torture and convalescence had drained the strength and stamina from the warrior princess. Eponin could see the pulse in Xena’s throat beating rapidly. She swallowed against the force of Xena’s blade.

"Think my friend. Think of Illusia. It was Solan himself who brought you two back together."

At the mention of her son's name Eponin felt Xena’s blade cut into her skin. She closed her eyes, and prayed her death would be fast.

"XENA! NO!" Ephiny stood in the doorway of the palace. She was horrified at what she saw.

Eponin opened her eyes at the sound of Ephiny's demand. The warrior looked at Xena and saw the ice blue eyes still on her. Eponin felt the sword digging deeper into her throat.

"XENA. Put your sword down. NOW! Do you hear me? NOW!" The sound of Ephiny's voice came clearly through the fog clouding the mind of the warrior princess. Her eyes left Eponin's throat and drifted over to Ephiny's face. The Queen was now standing next to Eponin. Ephiny reached over and slowly pushed the sword away from Eponin's throat. Xena withdrew her blade and dropped it to her side. Blood oozed from the ugly red line on Eponin’s neck.

"Xena, I think you better go."

"Yes ... I think I should."

No one said a word as the once mighty warrior walked out of the palace. When the front doors closed Ephiny placed a hand on Eponin's shoulder. Both were still looking at the front door.

"What were you trying to do?"

"Trying to save my friend," her eyes drifted to the floor, "both of them." Eponin turned and walked out the back door.

Ephiny looked at a speechless Nazalon. The whole scene had taken her to a place she had never been before. The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife. She could feel her insides beginning to shake. She couldn't believe the risk Eponin had just taken. Nazalon was certain, if Ephiny hadn’t entered the room, Eponin would be dead, and she alone would be left to defend the Queen against Xena, the warlord.

"Nazalon, go keep an eye on her ... but keep your distance." The warrior nodded and left. Ephiny walked the distance to her bedroom, and opened the door quietly.

"What’s going on out there?" Ephiny glanced at Jadax, and then at Gabrielle, who was looking at her from the bed. Ephiny spoke more to the ashen bard then to Jadax.

"Xena has left the palace ... She won’t be welcome back in."

Gabrielle slowly laid back down on the bed. She curled herself up into a ball and softly cried herself to sleep.

The Queen and her consort were sitting in front of the firepit when Nazalon returned to the palace. Ephiny looked up as the warrior entered the common room.

"Did she settle down somewhere?"

Nazalon wasn't sure how her Queen was going to take the news.

"No ... she left."

"What do you mean she left?" Ephiny was slowly rising to her feet.

"I mean, she left. She went straight to the barn, got Argo and left."

"She left the village?" Ephiny was stunned. She hadn't meant for the warrior princess to leave the village, just the palace. She honestly didn't think Xena would leave.

"Why didn't you follow her?"

"And do what? Hit her over the head and drag her back here. It might have shaken lose something, but it might have only caused more of a problem. Besides, she rode out on the north - west trail. She won’t be hard to track, she wasn't moving fast."

Ephiny sat back down, she couldn't believe all that had happened in just a short period of time. She closed her eyes as Jadax began to rub her back. Suddenly Ephiny opened her eyes, her decision had been made. She looked over at Jadax and the little scout didn’t like what she saw in Ephiny’s eyes. With a firmly set jaw the regent stood up and walked to her room. She opened the door and quietly closed it behind her, not wanting to disturb Gabrielle.

When the regent exited the bedroom shortly after, fear and apprehension shot through Nazalon and Jadax. Ephiny was dressed for traveling. Her Amazon robe had been replaced by her warrior wear ... a leather bra and skirt. She wore nothing showing she was the ruler and Queen of the Amazons. But it wasn’t her clothing causing the anxiety in Jadax, it was the sword and bow across her back.

"Where do you think you're going?" Jadax asked knowing all too well what the answer was.

"I'm going to find her before this turns into more of a catastrophe than it already is."

"You’re the Queen. You have to stay here. I'll go find her," Nazalon offered.

"No," Ephiny stated firmly.

"Ephiny please, don't go." Jadax whispered quietly to her lover.

"I have to. I was her friend long before I was Queen. Besides, the real Queen is in there. I have to do this for her. You don't know Xena like I do Nazalon. If she turns on you, you wouldn't stand a chance. Injuries or not, she is still a very accomplished warrior."

"But you think you'll be able to handle her." Jadax's heart was pounding with fear.

"Yes. I believe Xena is in there. She may not know it yet, but I do. If she wasn't, Eponin would be dead now and so would you." The regent looked at Nazalon. "Something inside her told her not to kill. I just have to convince her of that."

"I'll go get your horse ready." Nazalon said as she realized nothing was going to change her Queen’s mind.

"That's not necessary, Nazalon. You said she wasn't moving fast, and with her injuries she won’t be going far. Besides it will be easier to track her in the dark, on foot. A horse she can hear, an Amazon she can’t." Ephiny waited for Nazalon to leave the palace, then she turned to Jadax.

"Take care of Gabrielle. I promise I will not be gone long." She leaned down and kissed Jadax good bye.

"Ephiny please be careful. She's not of sound mind and she's not herself ... remember that."

"I know. I won’t take any chances. I love you, Jadax."

"I know that Eph. and I love you."

The Queen departed the room and met Nazalon on the front steps. In a hushed voice she stopped the warrior.

"Put four guards on each door and yourself and another warrior inside. If she comes back here ... like she left, I do not want her in the palace. Understood." Nazalon reluctantly nodded that she did.

Ephiny turned to leave, then stopped. Nazalon came up beside her.

"If I'm not back by sun up ... send Eponin to find me. Just Eponin, by herself. I don't want this village without all it's available warriors." The Queen departed after ordering her last command.

Being on the back of a horse again felt good to the anger warrior. She enjoyed the familiar sway of the golden mare beneath her thighs. The horse knew her and she knew the horse. When she had left the barn, she had no idea where she was going. She just rode out, her mind in a cloud of anger and grief.

Some of her anger she had felt had dissipated as the distance from the village grew. But not the pain she felt for her lost son, it felt like it had happened only yesterday. Her heart ached for her lost child.

Argo picked her way through the forest, her hooves silent on the mossy-covered ground. With no real trail for her to follow, and no direction from her owner to guide her, the golden mare wound around the tall trees and large boulders. It was late, but she could still see where she was going, and where she wasn’t. The terrain was flat, and the pace was slow, but that didn’t seem to lessen the moans coming from her back.

Within a candlemark Xena wondered if she had made a grievous error. Her body was screaming in pain. Every step Argo now took went through her like a slash of a sword. Dropping the reins, she let the horse go where she wanted. Xena needed her left arm just to stay on the mare’s back. She cursed herself now for not taking one of the saddles in the barn.

It was another candlemark before she finally stopped, or rather Argo stopped. The warrior opened her eyes when the movement of the horse ceased. Xena looked around, she had just realized she had either fallen asleep or had slipped into unconsciousness. Now she had no idea where she was.

Most of the local region looked the same. She didn’t know how far they had traveled but she knew she couldn’t go any farther. Xena noticed with a slight smile that her horse had stopped in a small clearing, a perfect spot to spend the night.

She slowly slid and fell off of Argo's back. Taking the blanket off the mare, she threw it to the ground, next to a fallen log. She was thankful someone had already cleaned the ground to sleep on. Her body was racked with pain, but she knew she had to gather some supplies to light a fire.

When the flames leapt high into the night, the warrior couldn't help but release a low groan as she finally sat down. It was only then she realized she had built, and lit, a fire, without even knowing she knew how. Her mind was filled with frustration and confusion, two emotions she now knew all too well. Closing her eyes, the warrior leaned back against the log and tried to sort out everything that had happened.

She loved Gabrielle, she knew that, but she could also feel the absolute want and desire to destroy her. To take her sword and run in it through her body.

"Then why don't you?"

Xena’s eyes snapped open at the words. The voice had been clear and close, but Xena's eyes saw nothing. But she could feel someone very near. Her eyes shifted to the right, and then to the left, the hairs on her neck told her to be leery.

Suddenly a bright light flashed in front of her, and there stood a man. He was dressed in black leather from head to toe, with a large sword strapped to his waist. She looked at his dark bearded face as she exhaled a snarl.

"Ares ..." Xena didn't even realize she knew his name until she spoke it.

"Oh, so you do remember me. I'm flattered." Ares smiled with a cocky tilt to his head. Arrogance was not one of his weaknesses. He looked down at his warrior princess. The God of War didn't like what he saw. Oh he delighted in the fire he now saw in her blue eyes. But the woman he so admired, his beautiful warrior princess, was now a scarred shell of her former self. He didn't like that one bit.

"What do you want Ares?" He loved the way she snarled out his name.

"First let me say, welcome back. I've missed that fire in your eyes. Second, I want to know why you haven't done in that irritating little blonde?"

Xena turned away from him and began to poke at the fire. He could see the pain and frustration on her face.

"What do you have to do with all of this Ares?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to know why you haven't murdered the woman who is responsible for the death of your son? Once she is gone, and out of the way, then you and I can pick up where we left off."

"And where exactly is that?" Xena's mind was racing. She remembered having a similar conversation with him, but where? Her mind flashed to a snow-covered mountain top. She felt the instant pain as it tore at her heart. She was mourning her son, and Ares was there. He was telling her the same thing.

"With you back at the head of my army, causing death and destruction throughout Greece." Ares smiled and played with his beard. "You will lead them to victory as the ultimate conqueror. So let's head back to the Amazon village and annihilate these pesky women, kill your little Gabrielle, and then we'll be off." Ares waited for a response from his warrior princess. He could see the wheels spinning in her mind. Should he say more? Was it enough to push her over the fence she was on? No matter which way she went he knew he would come out the winner. He rubbed his hands together and stared at her. The light of the flames was reflecting off her face, and Ares couldn't help but stare at her scar.

Xena still said nothing, her only interest seemed to be deep inside the flames.

"When you decide it's time to destroy the Amazons and your friend Gabrielle, call me. I'd like to help." With a wave of his hand and a flash of bright light, he was gone.

Xena continued to stare into the fire. She watched the flames leaping and climbing, grasping up at the night sky.

Suddenly the flames were lifting Gabrielle's body higher and higher. She was screaming for Xena to help her, but I couldn't. I couldn't get to her as Gabrielle's body twisted and turned in the flames. The visioned changed and she saw the bard’s blonde hair rush past her. Tackling someone into the fires of Tartarus. Xena could only watch as two forms fell into the molten lava. She could see the look on Gabrielle's face. A look of pain and regret. A plea for forgiveness as she called out to Xena one last time.

Xena now remembered her own feeling of forgiveness and the pain of separation from her soul. The warrior princess recalled the agony of being alone ... A part of her fell into the flames as she too said goodbye.

Ephiny noticed the flash of light far off in the distance. Her first instincts had been lightening, but there were no clouds in the sky. She looked upwards again at the stars that filled the night. She was moving slowly. Tracking Xena wasn't something you did in a hurry, not unless you wanted to walk into a trap. Ephiny suddenly stopped and stood up straight. She remembered where she had seen a flash like that before ... she picked up her pace.

She smelt the fire long before she saw the light of the flames. The Amazon Queen quickly climbed to the cover of the trees. Moving with the swiftness of squirrel along the thick branches, it didn't take her long to find her friend. For whatever reason Xena had decided to make camp just inside the Amazon's land.

She watched the still form under the blanket as the fingers of fire made the blanket dance with movement. It appeared to Ephiny that Xena was asleep. But on closer observation she could see Xena was not asleep, but awake staring into the flames. Even from this distance the regent could see the pain on her scarred face. Silently the Amazon moved in closer and called out to what she hoped was a friend.

Xena immediately sat up, too quickly. The pain in her body forced her to close her eyes. She struggled against the wave of darkness threatening to take her away. Xena fought to gain control and she opened her eyes. She scanned the forest but she saw nothing, her mind search for an explanation.

'Was this another God?' Her instincts told her no. It was then she realized her mistake. The flames had blinded her and she couldn't see into the shadows of the night. She struggled painfully to stand and then slowly drew her sword.

Ephiny had watched the whole thing from the safety of the trees. She felt her heart ache as she watched her friend suffer. She knew in the condition Xena was in, she was no longer the threat that she had been.

"Put the sword down Xena. It's me, Ephiny." Xena looked up as the Queen descended from the trees. She relaxed slightly, knowing if the Amazon had wanted her dead, she would’ve been. Xena took a step back but she still held her sword high.

"I never meant for you to leave the village Xena, I only wanted you to leave the palace. It's not safe for you out here." Ephiny looked from Xena to the unwavering sword, she wondered if it was safe for her out here. "Put it down Xena. I'm not here to hurt you. I only want to talk."

The sword didn't move.

"Xena ... Please!"

"I'm not going back." Xena said slowly.

Ephiny looked at her friend. "Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why? ... Why not Xena? Ask yourself. Why not?"

"Because if I go back, I'll kill her ... and maybe the rest of you ... just for fun."

"I don't believe that. I don't believe that’s why you won’t go back. You won’t kill her and you wouldn't kill us."

"Yes I would."

Ephiny could hear the rage still burning inside her, but she could also hear the pain coming from her confused and broken heart.

"So you knew if you stayed that you would kill her?"

"Yes."

"So instead of doing that ... you left."

"Yes, I said!" Xena only saw the futility of the questions, Ephiny did not.

"So instead of harming your friend and lover, you left her?" Ephiny stared into Xena's blue eyes. She saw the question hit home as Xena started to blink.

Ephiny continued. "You left her Xena because you love her and you knew deep down you didn't want to hurt her. You felt the anger and the rage, you wanted to lash out. Somewhere inside of you, something told you not to hurt her ... or Eponin."

Ephiny saw her sword begin to wavier and she knew the real Xena was coming to the surface. Slowly the sword started to fall, she had gotten through. The warrior's head wasn't that thick after all. The Queen continued with her questions.

"So what you really mean is you didn't want to hurt her. So you did the only thing you could think of to do ... protect her ... from yourself. All of this has been done before Xena. The two of you got past it before. It was hard, but you got over it together. Deep down in your heart and in your soul, you know that. Now you just have to remember it."

The sword was now down at her side, but was still held tightly in her hand. Ephiny knew there was still some danger, but the mighty warrior princess was starting to crumble.

"Xena ... You love her. I don't think you realize or remember just how much. Somewhere in there you do. It's time to let go, and leave the past where it belongs, in the past. You can't change it no matter how much you would like to, you can't. And neither can she."

The fingers on her left hand began to loosen and the sword fell to the ground. Xena closed her eyes and Ephiny saw her shoulders slump. It was over. Now she wondered if the warrior princess could live with what she had done ... again.

Xena brought her head up and looked into Ephiny's eyes. The regent could see this was no longer the anger warrior princess, nor was it even Xena. It was a friend ... a broken, shame filled woman, who now realized what she had done. Ephiny watched as Xena's strong façade began to break. Her bottom lip began to quiver and then the quiver became a tremble. Ephiny had her in her arms before the sob finally broke through.

Xena cried for all she had done, in the past, and in the present, all the pain and torment she had gone through, the pain and destruction she had caused. Ephiny held her until there were no more tears, just more questions. Xena’s voice was hoarse from crying and from fatigue. Her hands were shaking from the release of all the emotions now flooding her heart. The two women sat in front of the fire talking. Xena had questions and Ephiny had only some of the answers. She had not been to Illusia, but she told her what she had been told.

Xena looked down at her scarred right hand, she now remembered the burn the water had made as she had tried to leave Illusia. She wished these scars would disappear as easily as those ones had.

"How do I apologize again?"

"I don't know Xena. All you can do is ask for her forgiveness, and go from there. Gabrielle is a strong, forgiving woman, but I don't know how much more of this she can take."

Xena sat in silence for a while. Ephiny could tell there was a lot on her mind. She waited for her to speak.

"Ephiny? ... Can you forgive me?"

She looked at the despondent woman beside her.

"For everything ... for your arm? I am sorry I broke it."

Ephiny let go a small laugh, "I forgave you already a long time ago. I'm just glad you didn't break it again." She leaned over and gave her friend a hug.

Xena tried to smile, but it wasn't in her. She looked back at the fire. Ephiny was not happy at the look on her face. The warrior made no attempt at hiding her depression.

"Xena ... What have you remembered, about what happened to you?"

She could see the intake of breath, and she knew the warrior had recalled more. The question was, was she ready to talk about it. Xena put a hand to her face, but then quickly dropped it to her side. The scar was only too real as it was a reminder of what she now knew. As she finally spoke, Ephiny could hear all the torment and suffering that had laid hidden in her soul.

"I remember a lot now. My arm was broken before they ever found me. They tied me to a horse most of the way, then dragged me behind it, the rest. They didn't do much at first, at least not that I recall. They had me tied up in a barn, it was the leader who broke my leg ... and whipped me."

Xena had to stop and collect herself. The crack of the whip still sounded clearly in her mind. She felt Ephiny's arm come around her shoulders and hold her tight. "I remember them breaking my arm, again. I knew then it would never be the same. The thing I remember the most was asking why. Why me? What had I done? ... I didn't know who they were. I didn't know and I still don't really, why they wanted to hurt me. Was it just because of who I was? Did I do something to them in the past? I ask that know, but I didn't know who I was then ..."

Xena fell silent for a moment. Ephiny said nothing, as she waited patiently for her friend to continue.

"I remember I had to get out of there ... before they killed me. I wasn't going to give them that satisfaction. So I started to work out a plan ... when I was conscious enough to do so. I had to wait for just the right time. Then one day it all fell into place. They had been drinking, a lot. I waited for them to pass out, they forgot they hadn't chained me. I remember killing the bastard that had broken my arm. Then it gets a little foggy again, I remember crawling and crawling through the trees and underbrush. I hid in the forest until they stopped searching for me. I don't know how long that was, I kept blacking out. I knew I couldn't walk, so I just kept on crawling ... and crawling. Then some guy found me. I was so weak and in so much pain. He picked me up and took me to the next village, I thought I was saved. I was wrong, very wrong. All he wanted to do was make money ..." The faint, hoarse voice drifted away.

She turned to Ephiny and the comfort of a friend. The Queen could see the shimmer in her eyes, and the pain in her heart. She wrapped her arms around her, and told her she was safe again. She could feel the tears on her shoulder. Ephiny wondered if the old Xena was ever going to recover from the adversity she had been through.

Ephiny waited until Xena had quieted down again. There was one question nagging her.

"Xena, where were you crawling to if you couldn't remember anything?"

Xena straightened up slowly, wiping away her own tears. Ephiny could see her mind turning.

"Where were you crawling to ...?"

Xena was silent as she searched for the answer to the question.

The words came out slowly and quietly, but they finally came. "Here ... I was crawling here, to Amazon territory."

Carefully Ephiny asked, "And to whom were you crawling to?"

Xena closed her eyes, but it didn’t stop Ephiny from seeing the suffering on her face.

"To whom Xena ... think." Heart beats passed until she finally spoke.

"To her ... to Gabrielle." The realization hit her, "I wouldn't let myself die until I saw her again"

Xena’s head fell into her hands. She realized her love for Gabrielle had probably saved her life, again. That something deep, deep inside her refused to forget. Something it knew would keep her going, when all she had wanted to do was die. To give up and end the pain and torture, to make it all stop and go away. Her mind had done that, it had forgotten, but her soul, her connected soul never did. Without even knowing who she was, she knew who loved her. She spoke so quietly, Ephiny wasn't sure at first if she had even meant to speak aloud.

"I didn't even know who I was, but I knew someone here did. And that they loved me, and I loved them."

"Then why don't we head back, because I know someone who would like to hear you say that."

Xena nodded and started to stand but the pain and exhaustion in her body wouldn't listen to the want and desire in her soul. The tall warrior almost collapsed, but Ephiny was there for her when she saw Xena’s knees begin to buckle.

"Or we could wait a bit. I think you need to rest."

Xena had started to protest, but the Queen would hear none of it.

"What do I say to Gabrielle, if you die on the return trip? Besides it'll be dawn in a candlemark or so."

"Why does that make a difference?"

"I told Nazalon to send out Eponin at dawn if I hadn't returned. Knowing how those two listen to my commands, I suspect Eponin has probably already left."

"Didn't really trust me, huh?"

Smiling down at her friend, Ephiny added, "Let's just say, I knew if I wasn't back by dawn, they would need to locate my body, or give me a hand getting your ass back on Argo. That ride alone could have killed you."

"Believe me it almost did."

Ephiny left Xena and began to stoke the fire, again. When the flames leapt back to life, she returned to her friend’s side.

"A little while before I got here, Did you have company?"

"Yes, Ares ... He tried to egg me into going back and killing all of you, then joining up with him again."

"Oh ... well, that was nice of him." Ephiny said sarcastically.

"No, thinking about it now, ... I think he was trying to get me to realize the same thing you did. Why didn't I go back and ... well, his tactics weren't as good as yours, ... I mean, He IS the God of War.? I think he's was trying to make up for the whole Dahak thing."

The warrior turned her eyes back to the fire. Ephiny kept her hand on Xena’s shoulder, she hoped the contact would ease her troubled mind.

It didn't take long for the exhausted Xena to fall asleep. Ephiny watched as the tortured soul released its grip on the warrior princess. The regent continued to stroke her long raven hair as she waited for Eponin.

Ephiny didn’t have a long wait before her ears picked up a bird call off in the distance. She knew it was Eponin. The regent smiled when she realized the sun hadn't even begun to lighten the sky. She waited patiently, not wanting to wake Xena. Besides, she knew her warrior would have already smelt the fire. Ephiny’s eyes just needed to search. She saw nothing until Eponin was lowering herself from the canopy of the trees.

Upon reaching the ground, the warrior’s eyes went from Ephiny to Xena, and then back to Ephiny.

"She remembers everything." The regent whispered.

"Everything?" Eponin said quietly.

"Almost," whispered the warrior princess. The blue eyes opened and met those of the Amazon warrior's. Xena’s eyes traveled down Eponin’s neck, stopping on the fresh cut on her throat. Xena closed her eyes on the remorse she was feeling, and then struggled to rise. She was only successful because of Ephiny's helping hand.

She stood in front of the quiet warrior. Eponin didn't say a word as Xena's slightly trembling fingers traced the cut that easily could have taken her friends life.

"Nothing I could say would tell you how sorry I am, Eponin."

The quiet warrior gazed at her remorseful friend.

"The same goes for me, Xena." Eponin said as her finger traced the scar on Xena’s face.

They smiled to one another, and finally embraced. "Welcome back, Xena"

"I'm not there yet." The warrior princess replied.

Ephiny and Eponin decided the best, and only way, to get Xena back to the village, was on Argo's back, much to Xena’s unhappiness. Calling the golden mare back had been the easy part. Xena threw her arms around the horse's neck, first to apologize for not remembering who she was, and second, for not letting her leave Amazon land. Ephiny couldn't believe it had been Argo who had stopped before the border. When they finally had the tall woman settled on Argo's back, they set off for the village, at a much slower pace than any of them had left.

It had been a long night for the three women in the palace. Gabrielle never left the royal chambers. She never even left the bed. Jadax had been in several times to check on her, but the bard had no words to say. Nazalon had paced the floor non stop, causing a few tense moments between her and Jadax.

"Would you just sit down? I can’t stand watching you pace anymore."

"I can’t sit. I’m too fired up to sit."

"Well then go stand by the window or something."

"How can you be so calm? It’s your lover that’s out there."

"I know that Naz. You don’t have to remind me. But I know Ephiny, and I know Xena." Her words sounded a lot stronger than she really felt. Every movement and every sound grated on the warrior’s nerves. Jadax was certain time had stopped as she looked out into the stillness of the dark.

Candlemarks later Nazalon was leaning against the wall looking out the window. The darkness was turning to grey and the distant hills bloomed to orange and pink.

Eponin had left way before sunrise, it had actually been Jadax who told the warrior to go. Eponin didn't wait to be asked a second time. As Nazalon watched the sun come over the horizon, she didn't have to look to see Jadax was watching it too. They waited, neither spoke a word, they just watched and waited.

Suddenly Nazalon turned from the window, before she could say anything, the little forest scout was already on her way to the door. A wave of relief went through Jadax as she spotted all three coming toward the palace. Clearing the steps, she reached Ephiny's arms almost before the regent had seen her coming.

Ephiny embraced her little consort and whispered in her ear. "She's back ... Where's Gabrielle?"

"Still in our bedroom," she whispered in return.

Walking with the three women, Jadax looked up at the dark warrior. She was pale and in pain, but the eyes were blue again, a very calm blue. The warrior looked down at the scout and offered a small smile. Jadax couldn’t help but offer a smile in return. Xena responded with a wink, which the scout immediately returned.

They came to a stop in front of the palace steps. Xena refused any help to get off of Argo, but helping hands were there as her legs wobbled when they touched the ground. Xena steadied herself against Argo and then headed up the stairs.

The Amazon warrior and the warrior princess locked eyes. Nazalon didn't know what made her do it, but she refused to move out of Xena's way. Eponin saw the impending confrontation and took a step toward the stairs. Ephiny placed a hand on her arm, and with a shake of her head said.

"Let them be." The Queen commanded

Xena looked deep into Nazalon's eyes. Her lips pursed with determination as her eyes lowered on the formidable warrior in front of her.

"Nazalon, let me first say thank you. For stopping me and protecting her ... But ... she is mine, if she will have me." Xena saw no movement from Nazalon to step aside.

Xena moved in closer to the Amazon, now only a hand’s length separated them.

"Second, death herself couldn't stop me from returning to her, so what in Tartarus makes you think you can?" The warrior princess paused for a moment.

"Move it ... or lose it!" The smoldering stare of the warrior princess reached the common sense of Nazalon’s brain. She slowly took a step to the side, then made her way down the steps.

Ephiny, Jadax and Eponin watched as Xena paused for a moment before opening the door to the palace.

"Go get her Xena." Jadax whispered all their thoughts.

Xena closed the doors to the palace behind her. She stood on the steps looking down into the common room. She had never been so scared, or so nervous. Finding herself alone for the first time since recalling all of her darkened past, she was uncertain of what she could say to Gabrielle. Her body was alive with all its senses as she crossed the room to the door to the royal chambers.

As she reached for the door handle, Xena looked down at her trembling hand. She couldn’t be sure if it was the pain in her body or the fear in her heart. Xena closed her eyes at the door that separated her from the woman of her heart, the woman she loved more than life itself, the woman she had crushed with the venomous words she had spoken to her.

She had no idea what she could say that could make up for what had already been said. For the first time in her life Xena prayed to the Gods for strength and forgiveness. Xena bent her head and reached for the door handle.

Slowly opening the door she saw the outline of her bard, she looked so small in the large bed. Xena felt her breath quicken as she gently closed the door and walked to the foot of the bed. The warrior gazed down at the bard, she looked so peaceful. All Xena could do was stare as she recalled all the pain she had caused the woman she loved.

Somewhere in the care of Morpheus, Gabrielle felt a presence, she could feel someone’s eyes on her. Slowly pulling herself from the warmth and comfort of sleep, the green eyes fluttered open, and reality came crashing down. Fear gripped her when she saw Xena standing over her.

Gabrielle shot back in the bed, forcing her small body against the headboard. She looked at the distance to the door and realized there was no escape from the woman who wanted to kill her.

"Please Xena, NO! Not again." She pleaded through her fears and tears.

Xena collapsed to her knees, her legs no longer able to hold her shaking body. She ignored the shooting pain in her leg.

"Gabrielle ... I am not going to hurt you. I will never hurt you again. I am sorry."

Gabrielle said nothing. Part of her wanted to crawl into the warrior’s arms, but part of her wanted to runaway, screaming in fear.

Xena could see the battle going on inside of her little bard. She searched her heart for something that would tell her she was back, this was over and she would never harm her again. The answer came to her. This time she spoke the words of forgiveness she had sung before.

"I’m sorry ... Please help me, forgive me ... Don’t hate me, don’t leave ... Forgive me. But this time Gabrielle, I won’t sing it. I just want to say it. Can you forgive me?" Xena reached out her hand. A sob escaped from Gabrielle’s lips as she realized what Xena had spoken to her. She reached forward and took the hand extended to her. Gabrielle crawled to Xena and they held each other tightly. The warmth of their embrace engulfed them in their own recovery. The worst was over, and for once Gabrielle knew she had her Xena back.

When they pulled away and looked into each others eyes.

"And this time Gabrielle, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about them, Solan and Hope. About Chin. About Britannia. I promise to remember and never to forget."

"Oh, Xena. I'm sorry too. I should have told you something, anything. But I couldn't. I was too afraid of what would happen. I'm glad you remember everything."

"No, not everything. Just the important things. Like you." Xena took Gabrielle’s tear stained face into her hands.

"I’ll never want to forget the first time I made love to you on the river bank." Gabrielle drew in a breath. Xena smiled and tilted her head to claim the lips she had so wanted to kiss for what seemed like forever. As she drew back, and Gabrielle's eyes opened, Xena hoarsely whispered. "And every day from now until forever." The warrior and her bard were at one with each other. "Forever, Gabrielle ... forever."

It was early afternoon before the door to the chambers was finally opened. Ephiny and Jadax had been asleep on the bench in the common room. Ephiny's head turned at the sound as the reunited lovers slowly emerged. Gabrielle's arm was around Xena's waist and the warrior's arm was draped over the blonde’s shoulders. Ephiny wasn't sure who was helping who.

"Do you two need a hand?" The regent asked quietly, not wanting to intrude on their privacy.

The two women looked over at the Queen and smiled. Turning to each other still smiling, Xena finally said. "No. We have each other, thank you." They continued in the direction of their own room. Gabrielle looked back over Xena's shoulder at Ephiny.

"Thank you." She mouthed.

The smile on her bright face said it all. Ephiny smiled back, the light had finally returned in all it's brightness to the young bard's face.

It was another full day before the Amazon Queen and her warrior princess left the comfort of their room, and of each other. A slight chuckle could have been heard from Ephiny when she realized they were heading for the kitchen. It had obviously been Gabrielle's hunger that had drawn them out. Everyone left them alone for the first couple of days, not that either of them would have paid any attention to any unwanted intrusion. They only had eyes for each other. They could be seen hand in hand, strolling to either the kitchen or the hot pools, then always back to their room.

After almost a week of this, Ephiny decided they had enough time together and knocked on their bedroom door. She had wanted to speak to Gabrielle alone, but hadn't gotten the chance.

It was the low voice of Xena that answered the knock. Ephiny opened the door. The two were snuggled on the bed. Gabrielle’s head was leaned back against Xena's stomach. She had been reading from one of her scrolls.

"I'm glad to see one of those back in your hand." Ephiny stated.

"Yeah, I thought it was time to hear the rest of my life according to the bard of Poteidaia." Xena said as she ruffled the blonde’s hair.

Gabrielle answered the quizzical look on Ephiny's face.

"She's only heard one of my stories," then looking up at her lovers face, Xena continued for her, "we could never seem to find the time after that."

It may have almost been a week, but Ephiny still felt like an intruder.

"Well, I only stopped in to tell you both, we are having a party tonight in your honor."

"A party, for us? Great!" Beamed Gabrielle.

Xena, on the other hand, rolled her blue eyes to the ceiling. "OH, yahoo ... Why?" She wasn't fond of parties, never mind ones in their honor.

"Well, lets just say we were planning one more than two moon cycles ago, for your arrival and everything. For some reason, we decided to postpone it ... It just didn't seem right when one of you wasn't here, in one form or other."

"Thank you, Ephiny. We'll be delighted to attended." Gabrielle said with a playful bow of her head to the Queen. Behind the blonde’s head Xena scowled at Ephiny, who only smiled in return.

Later that afternoon, one of the Amazon's showed up with new robes for them both. Gabrielle had taken to the Amazon's wear, but Xena had returned to wearing her leathers. She stated they felt more comfortable. Gabrielle had begged and pleaded for Xena to wear the robe that had been brought for her. The warrior couldn't resist her bard and relented. The two had finally dressed, which in itself was an accomplishment, since every time Gabrielle had her robe on, Xena was trying to get it off.

Gabrielle now stood in front of a mirror she had borrowed from Ephiny's room. She admired what she saw. Her hair looked good, and the robe did wonders for her, at least according to Xena.

"You’re gorgeous." The warrior said while putting her arms around the little blond. Gabrielle felt so at home in her arms. She no longer noticed the different in strength between the two, only the security they offered. She could feel every muscle beneath the cotton robe, and the softness of the warrior’s breast.

Suddenly Gabrielle felt Xena's muscles stiffen and the warrior pulled away. The bard watched in confusion as Xena walked solemnly to the window. Gabrielle was about to ask what was wrong, but the look on the warrior’s face made her remain silent. She didn't know what had happened, all she could see was her own reflection in the full length mirror.

Gabrielle looked over at her lover, Xena's somber eyes had transfixed themselves at the view out of their window. As she started walking toward the somber warrior, she suddenly grasped what it was.

It was the first time Gabrielle had seen Xena look at her own reflection.

"Hey," The bard’s voice was filled with concern and compassion. It was all she needed to say. The raven haired woman turned with misty eyes, and Gabrielle quickly closed the distance between them. She wrapped her arms around Xena’s waist. She could still feel the stiffness in the warrior’s body

Gabrielle rested her head against Xena’s chest and spoke with all the love she felt in her own heart.

"I love you. What's inside, not the outside. You're a beautiful woman, Xena." She held the warrior tight, but Xena said nothing. She listened to the beating heart of the woman she loved. Moments of silence passed before Gabrielle pulled back and looked up into the blue eyes. She reached up with a gentle touch and held Xena’s scarred cheek with her warm hand.

"They are not who you are, and they will fade more with time."

Xena looked down at the smiling face of her bard. She could see the love in her green eyes and a smile finally broke on the bronze face.

"It's not my vanity, Gabrielle. I mean ... I’ve always counted myself lucky. Most warlords and warriors have many scars, I only carried a few." Her left hand traveled up to the side of her face and she laid it on top of Gabrielle’s. "No, it's not the scar itself that bothers me, other than you having to look at it all the time. It's just a constant reminder of everything that's happened, and of who put it there. Every time I see this, or look down at my hand, or everywhere on my body. I'll always be reminded of the pain we went through ... again."

"But Xena, all of it will fade with time."

"No Gabrielle, it won’t." She was silent for a moment, giving herself time to get control of her fury she held for the man who had cause her so much pain. Her emotions in check, she swallowed and licked her lips. Looking down, she lifted the bard's chin and looked deep into her green eyes.

"I know how much it ... they bother you ... No, don't say anything. I know you try not to let it, but I see it in your eyes sometimes. I know you love me and you try to see passed them, ... but I know it's hard." She leaned down and kissed her.

Gabrielle didn't know what else to say as she felt Xena’s arms close around her body. They held tightly to each other. The bard knew Xena was right, as much as she tried to tell herself the scars didn’t bother her, she was only too aware they were there. Twisted, angry, reminders of the hatred that possessed man to attack man. The absolute destructive viciousness mankind was capable of. Gabrielle felt Xena’s lips nuzzle her hair.

"We should get going, Gabrielle."

"Yeah I know, but I just want to stay like this. I love the feeling of being held in your arms."

The warrior gave her bard a loving squeeze and then collected her hand into her own.

"Your subjects await you, my Queen." Xena dipped low into an over exaggerated bow.

"They await you too, my warrior princess." Gabrielle smiled as the two turned to leave. Xena snuck a quick kiss on Gabrielle as she opened the door and whispered into her ear. "Don't ask me to dance, you know I hate to." The bard only smiled and the two headed for the party.

Things were in full swing by the time they arrived. Every Amazon in the village was there. A large bonfire was roaring in the center of the compound of what was to be a dancing area. Tables of food and drink, were laid out around the edge.

Everyone greeted the two lovers, some with smiles and some with waves. Much to Gabrielle's chagrin, the first person to approach them had been Eponin, already carrying a mug of port for Xena. The blue eyes looked to Gabrielle, who smiled and shook her head with a laugh. The two warriors departed, leaving Gabrielle to fend for herself.

"Eponin will look after her." Ephiny said as she came up beside her.

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of." Gabrielle said with a laugh.

"Besides, a candlemark apart and the two of you will be running back to your room together."

Ephiny laughed as the little blond blushed a deep crimson. Putting her arm around Gabrielle's shoulder, the two Queens went looking for food and some drink of their own. Ephiny decided now was not the time to have their little chat, but it had to be soon.

It didn't take long for the music to start and soon the air was filled with a fine dust off the dance area as the beat of the drums echoed through the valley. Gabrielle had not spent much time talking when it was discovered Xena didn't have a problem with others asking her lover to dance. The little blond had a steady stream of dance partners. She may not have minded Gabrielle dancing with others, it did release her of the responsibility, but the icy blue eyes were never off the dancing blonde for long.

Xena watched, at times mesmerized, by the gyrating movements of her lover. She recalled many a time having spent an evening watching those hips sway, as her breasts bounced to the beat of whatever music Gabrielle could find. Xena also recalled the feeling of going to bed alone afterwards. Every time the thought crossed her mind this evening, the warrior princess had to look away, fighting back the emotion that nearly drove her onto the blasted dance floor. Xena felt a sudden urge to sweep her lover up, and carry her back to their room. Xena mind’s filled with lust and desire, ‘all I wanted is to make mad passionate love ...’

"Xena, did you even hear what I just said, or should I go and dance with Gabrielle. At least that way I'll know you're looking at me." Xena turned back to Eponin. Smiling shyly, she buried her flushed face into her mug of port.

"Seriously, it's good to have you back Xena." The usually quiet warrior said.

"It's good to be back, my friend." The two touched mugs, then tilted their heads back and drained the last of their port. Pulling the mug from her lips, Eponin wiped the remaining liquid off her chin, then turned back to Xena.

"So, when are we going after the bastard who did this to you?"

Just the mere mention of the man crushed the lust in her mind and replaced it with savage demand for revenge, but that subject had already been brought up, and shot down, by Gabrielle. Xena had mentioned she wanted to start looking, now. With the return of the real Xena, had also come her taste for vengeance. She could feel her rage for the man simmering just beneath the surface. But she had more than herself to think of now, she had Gabrielle, and Gabrielle had quashed the idea immediately. Xena knew her bard was afraid, very afraid. So she had decided just to leave it alone, for now. Yet, here she was faced with the question she knew a lot of Amazon's had on their minds. There was nothing these women wanted more than to get their hands on the man who had hurt her and their Queen.

"I promised Gabrielle I wouldn't." Xena said flatly not trusting herself to say more.

"You what?!" Eponin’s mouth hung open in shock. Before she could recover, Xena had left in search of some more port.

Eponin looked back at the dance floor in the direction of Gabrielle. She wondered if Ephiny knew of Xena's promise.

As Eponin turned back to follow Xena, her eyes spotted someone in the shadows, a lone figure standing in the dark. On closer inspection, Eponin realized it was Nazalon, watching all the festivities quietly in the corner.

'Oh, shit!' Eponin thought when she realized exactly who the warrior was watching. She quickly left to find Xena, someone had to keep the warrior princess occupied.

Gabrielle put up a hand, she had had enough for now. She thanked her current dance partner and left the dance floor in search of something cool to drink. Finding refreshments and carrying a plate of food, the little blonde sat down with a group and joined in on the conversation.

She had looked around a couple of times, but she had lost sight of her warrior princess. 'If she gets too drunk tonight, Eponin.’ Her thoughts suddenly went elsewhere. She could feel someone watching her and the hair on her neck stood straight up. Her eyes darted around searching for Xena but it wasn’t her tall, dark warrior that had caused her senses to peak. The green eyes spotted the outline in the shadows. She knew instantly who it was. Gabrielle paused, wiping her face off with a cloth and she rose and started toward the lone figure.

As Gabrielle approached the dark warrior, she recalled what Jadax had told her about what Nazalon had done the morning on the palace stairs. The bard knew the warrior had been absent from the village lately, and she hadn't had a chance to talk to her troubled friend.

"Nazalon?" She said uncertainly. Gabrielle knew who it was, but she wasn't certain of what the reaction was going to be.

"Hello Gabrielle." The voice was anything but hostile, so she took a seat.

"How are you?" She was sincere in her question and the warrior knew it.

"Fine," Nazalon answered.

"That's not what I've been hearing?"

"OK, I'm not fine. I'm still in love with you." She tried very hard, to keep the statement emotionless, but she hadn't succeeded.

Gabrielle looked at her and reached across the table. Nazalon just looked down at the hand touching her own.

"I don't know what to say," Gabrielle spoke quietly.

"You don't have to say anything. I know you love Xena, and I know Xena loves you. I am truly happy for you, for both of you. But it doesn't change how I feel. I don't know what to do about that." The Amazon warrior became silent.

"You can start by calling me a friend again, and stop avoiding me."

"I haven't meant to avoid you, my Queen. I just thought it might be better if I stayed away for a while."

"Stop calling me your Queen, Nazalon. Ephiny is your Queen. I am your friend."

Nazalon looked up and finally smiled, a smile Gabrielle happily returned.

"Thank you, Gabrielle, though I'm not sure if I can handle being just your friend."

"Nazalon, you were there for me when I needed someone. You held me when I needed to be held. You let me cry when I just needed to cry. You gave me your home when I needed somewhere to stay."

"I know that Gabrielle. But I see you now and my arms still aches to hold you. My heart beats when it sees you walk by."

"If you want that heart to continue beating, I would suggest you remove your hand from hers!"

Nazalon and Gabrielle turned at the low growl of the warrior princess. Neither of them had heard her silent approach. Gabrielle quickly wondered how much she had heard, but by the sound of her growl, too much, but not enough.

"Xena, we were just talking ... Nazalon was there for me when you were so near death."

"Well I'm not dead now, but she will be if she doesn't back off." Xena said to Gabrielle, then turned and directed her comments to Nazalon.

"Every time I leave her for one moment, I turn around and you're by her side. Well that’s my place. I thought I had made myself pretty clear that morning on the steps, but obviously you need a lesson." The warrior princess started to take a step toward the Amazon, but Gabrielle stood up and blocked her way.

She placed a firm hand on Xena’s chest and looked deep into Xena’s icy blue eyes.

"Enough Xena, we were just talking. Nazalon is having a rough time right now and I want to be there for her, like she was for me."

Neither Xena nor Nazalon heard her. They stood a stride apart, eyes glared into eyes, their bodies ready for battle. Something Gabrielle wanted so badly not to happen.

"Enough already. Xena you've been drinking and your judgement is impaired." Gabrielle turned her entire attention to her warrior. Suddenly it dawned on her that these were two stubborn and thick headed warriors. There really wasn't much she was going to do if they decided now was the time to prove who was the best.

"Nazalon ... Xena, enough!" Ephiny’s command was loud and clear. Gabrielle looked over and she saw Jadax and Eponin standing behind her.

Both Xena and Nazalon relaxed their stances ... slightly.

"Nazalon, nice of you to join us for the party, but it is a party, not the time or the place for this. Xena, may I remind you that you're one of the guests of honor, so act like one. We are all friends here. So would you two kindly shake hands ... and separate ... for the remainder of the evening."

There was a slight hesitation but the two did finally produce unarmed hands, reluctantly shook and then parted and left. Once out of sight a relieved Gabrielle turned to her friends.

"Thanks Ephiny. That was getting a little tense. I didn't know what I was going to do."

"Thank Eponin, she spotted the trouble way before it started. We just waited for Xena to show up."

"Am I missing something here?"

"Yes, my naive little friend, I think you are. Xena is back, the old Xena. The one who didn't like to share you and that was before she was sleeping with you. Then throw in the problems you too are just getting over and mix in an unrequested love. You, my dear, have a problem: one very, very jealous warrior princess." Gabrielle blinked at her friend, her mouth open, as she absorbed what Ephiny had said. She hadn't thought of it that way.

"So please do me the favor of not sitting in the dark with people who are telling you how much they love you and miss you." They sat in silence for a few heart beats until Gabrielle finally spoke.

"Do you really think she is jealous?"

"Oh new lovers. Ignorance is so bliss," Ephiny rolled her eyes to the skies.

It wasn't until much later that Xena and Gabrielle even saw each other, much less had a chance to speak. Eponin and Ephiny had pretty much decided absences does make the heart grow fonder. Ephiny had dance partners lined up for Gabrielle and Eponin had mugs of port lined up on their table.

Finally, Xena decided she had had enough. She pushed her chair back from the table and stood up. The warrior princess squared her shoulders, and walked with utmost determination straight onto the dance floor. Tapping Gabrielle's current partner on the shoulder, the warrior princess cut in. Xena reached for her bards hand and pulled her close. She gazed down into the green eyes that held her soul, and the face that held her heart. Gabrielle melted in her embrace. A smile crossed the bard’s lips as the music changed tempo to a slow, swaying beat.

Gabrielle looked up at her bronze beauty.

"Xena, I ... "

"Shhh, I just want to hold you." The warrior’s arms surrounded her and the two began to sway. Gabrielle could feel herself floating away. She closed her eyes and followed the movements of her partner.

Xena turned her head slightly and whispered into her ear.

"I'm sorry, again. I didn't mean to make a scene. I know how much Nazalon was there for you when I wasn't. But I'm here now, and I ... I don't know I'm ..."

"Jealous." Gabrielle finished for her.

The warrior went to open her mouth, but immediately closed it again.

"It's ok Xena. It’s not a bad word. It actually feels nice."

"OK, Jealous. I felt jealous ... " Xena's words were hushed by Gabrielle's fingertips.

"It may feel nice, but it was not my intention Xena. So I'm sorry too for not thinking what I was doing." They went back to dancing, holding each other close.

"Was this a fight?" The warrior purred into Gabrielle’s hair. Then added in a husky low tone, "can we go and make up, now?"

Gabrielle giggled softly, burying her head deeper into Xena's shoulder, enjoying the euphoric feeling of each other's touch.

The tempo of the music had formed couples on and off the dance floor. As the evening grew late, lovers and partners began to search for more private accommodations.

Eponin walked up to the grinning Queen.

"You look like a proud parent, Eph." The warrior followed her eyes to the swaying outline of Xena and Gabrielle.

"I feel like one ... They sure look good together, don't they."

"Yes, they do ... I'm just surprised they're still out there."

Almost on cue, Xena whispered in Gabrielle's ear. The two lovers’ eyes were only for each other as they left the dance floor, parting the Amazon's still watching the festivities. Hand in hand the Queen and her warrior princess headed back to the privacy of their bedroom.

The next afternoon Xena was in the common room when Eponin walked in. She was carrying a large sack.

"Where's your other half?" Eponin asked joining her friend on the bench.

"Oh she and Jadax left this morning. I'm not sure where they went. What's in the sack?"

Eponin looked down at her filled hands obviously searching for the right words to say.

"Before I show you, I just want to say a few things, from one friend to another." Eponin brought her head up and looked Xena in the eye.

"It's from Nazalon ... wait hear me out. I don't think you realize how she is really feeling. She and Gabrielle became quite close, but Nazalon never stepped over any boundaries. She was a friend, someone who was there for Gabrielle ... I mean there was a time Xena, when we didn't think you were alive. Even after we found you there was a chance you might not make it." The warrior paused. She wasn't used to making long speeches.

"For some reason, she found a friend in Nazalon. At first, we thought it was because you two look so much alike and have a tendency to act similar. Whatever the reason, she pulled Gabrielle through some really tough times. She didn't mean to fall in love with her, but she did. She also swore to Ephiny nothing would ever happen as long as you were still in the picture. She knew Gabrielle still loved you and wanted you. So put yourself in her position when you decided Gabrielle was the enemy." Eponin stopped as she saw the eyelids close on Xena's blue eyes.

Xena lifted her head in a nod and opened her eyes to look at her friend. Eponin continued, "Now you're back, and she is the one who can't forget Gabrielle." The words echoed in the warrior princess's mind. She knew her feelings for Gabrielle had probably saved her life.

Xena brought her left hand up and began to rub her lips. It was something she did when her mind was at work.

"She is easy to fall in love with ... and impossible to forget, isn't she?"

Eponin answered in a quiet, "Yup."

"Nazalon wanted to show you she has no hard feelings for you. She only wanted the best for both of you. After last night, she was afraid you would rather run your sword threw her than give her a chance to talk to you. So I said I would deliver this. Besides, I was the one who took it in the first place." Eponin opened the sack and removed the fully restored armor of the warrior princess.

The blue eyes stared as they traveled around the leather and bronze breast plate. Nazalon had done a lot of hard work to bring the armor back to its former glory. Xena was speechless as Eponin handed over one of her most prized possessions. Eponin reached back into the sack and also removed the arm and wrist bracers. They too had been fully restored.

"When did you," Was all the warrior princess could mutter.

"A while ago. I knew where they had been stored, but it was Nazalon who did all the work. At first, she wasn't sure if the bronze could be brought back, it was badly stained and tarnished. I know she had to replace some of the pieces, but the rest was just elbow grease." Eponin sat back and watched Xena’s fingers trace the design of the bronze swirls.

"I tried to tell you, she cares about both of you."

Xena nodded with a small smile on her face. Standing, she put the breast plate in position as Eponin stood to give her a hand. It fit like the second skin it was. Xena ignored the looseness of the bracer on her right arm and wrist. Finally, she stood hands on her hips. The warrior princess felt complete. Lifting a hand to Eponin's shoulder, she turned and left the palace.

Approaching Nazalon's hut, Xena could see the warrior sitting on her bed, working on her bow. Nazalon's head lifted sensing someone's presence. Her eyes widened at the sight of the warrior princess. As Xena entered the doorway, the Amazon’s eyes glanced to the bronze breast plate. Nazalon never realized how much the outfit made the warrior.

The two said nothing at first, Nazalon wasn't really sure what Xena was thinking.

As she spoke, the Amazon relaxed.

"I am only here to talk. I wanted to say how much I appreciate what you did. I can't thank you enough. I don't mean my armor, I mean Gabrielle." Xena took another step into the small hut. "I can't imagine what it was like for her when I wasn't here, or even when I was. Nothing I can say or do will show you how much I appreciated the friendship you showed her. Instead, I've drawn a sword on you and challenged you on more than one occasion. For that, I am truly sorry and I hope you can accept my apologies." Xena looked straight into the eyes of Nazalon. The warrior said nothing, only nodded her head. Xena smiled on the inside, 'Boy, we really are alike' she thought. Pausing for a moment longer she continued,

"I realize now how much you care for her. I know you would never do anything to hurt her. I know where you were coming from, you only wanted to protect her. But I'm back now, and that's my job. I will never hurt her again, you have my word on it. I love her and she loves me ... I know if you can handle it, she ... and I would still like to be your friend." Xena walked over and put her hand out. Nazalon sat for a moment looking at the outstretched hand. She closed her eyes and then she stood. She opened them to see the warm smile of a friend. Nazalon firmly gripped Xena's forearm, noting not to press too tightly.

"Now, about my armor. You did a fantastic job. I looked for it not too long ago. When we couldn't find it, I thought someone had thrown it out, I do remember the condition it was in." The atmosphere had lightened considerably.

"Thank you. I’m just glad you're happy with it. I love to work with leather. I have something else that belongs to you." Nazalon said. She walked over to the corner of her hut and removed the blanket which was covering Xena's saddle.

"I wondered where that had gone. Wow. It hasn't looked that good in seasons." Xena's hands ran over the fine craftsmanship of leather. As Xena picked up the saddle, Nazalon's thoughts went immediately to what she had found under the saddle. The Amazon quickly closed her mouth. She wondered if she should mention it. Watching Xena closely, she saw no flicker of any remembrance.

"Do you remember the last time you saw your saddle, Xena?" Nazalon asked, watching the warrior's expression. Xena closed her eyes.

Something was there and Nazalon saw it, but Xena shook her head.

"No, not really. I remember the men and some of when they found me. But I don't remember separating from Argo."

"Well, I did the best I could with the saddle, but your blankets ... I had to throw them away. Sorry." Nazalon decided if Xena didn't ask about the ring, it was probably not a good idea for her to bring it up.

"Please, don't apologize. You did a great job of cleaning away all of the blood." Nazalon's eyes widen, she had not mentioned the blood, only Xena had. 'She remembers more than what she thinks.' Thought the Amazon.

Xena lifted the saddle onto her left shoulder and flashed a smile to Nazalon.

"Thanks again, for everything."

"You're welcome, Xena." The Amazon hollered back at the warrior princess.

"Don't be a stranger, come over for a visit." Nazalon yelled back that she would. As Xena turned out of sight, Nazalon left in search of her Queen.

Nazalon found Ephiny talking to a group of women. The Queen had spotted Nazalon coming toward her. She didn't like the expression on the warrior's face. Excusing herself, she met Nazalon half way across the compound.

"What is it?" Ephiny said with concern.

"We need to talk, in private." Nazalon requested in a hushed voice.

"Come on, let's go to the palace."

"No. I mean private, Ephiny." The Queen looked over at her.

"How about a stroll up the hill?" The warrior nodded and the two left in silence. Neither spoke until they had reached the quiet of the forest.

"All right, what's going on?" Ephiny stopped and looked squarely into the eyes of her warrior.

"I had a visitor today ... Xena in full armor."

"You dragged me up here to tell me she didn't kill you for last night's situation. Or just to tell me how she liked the return of her armor?" Ephiny was exasperated.

"No, she ... we had a chat, yes. Some things were worked out. But it wasn't her gratitude for her armor, it was the thanks for her saddle." Nazalon stated, and waited for the word to sink in.

"She said nothing ... she didn't even look for it."

"Nothing?"

"No, she said nothing, but I could tell there was something there. I asked her when was the last time she remembered seeing her saddle. She said she didn't know, but I don't believe her."

"Why not?"

"Because she said, I did a great job removing all the blood." The regent and the warrior looked at each another.

"Gabrielle would never have mentioned it, Ephiny."

"I doubt anyone would!" The regent fell silent, thinking.

"So what do we do now?"

"I think we don't do anything, I think I need to have a chat with Xena. Eponin mentioned something else last night I also need to talk to her about." Ephiny started walking back in the direction of the village.

Nazalon's curiosity about the last comment was killing her. But it was plainly obvious, the Queen was not going to be forth coming with any information. 'I need to have a word with Eponin,' she thought, and hurried to catch up with her departing Queen.

Jadax and Gabrielle emerged from the forest, they were still chatting as they walked up the hill toward the barn. Gabrielle had enjoyed herself, it had been a nice afternoon with Jadax, but she had missed her warrior princess. The green eyes searched the outlying village for any sign of her lover. Gabrielle stopped in her tracks, her mouth hung open, her heart beating loudly in her ears. Jadax looked back to see why her friend had stopped. The look on Gabrielle's face made the forest scout turn to see what had caused the reaction. It didn't take a genius to see what it was.

Xena had just left the barn. Her long, limping strides covering the courtyard quickly. Her raven hair was damp and her bronze body glistened from some obvious exertion. But that wasn't what had caused the reaction from the bard. It was the armor strapped to the warrior's body. Gabrielle hadn't seen that vision in a long time. Her body was reacting to the sight of her warrior princess in full form.

Xena sensed something. She stopped and turned, looking directly at her lover a hundred paces away. Jadax could see the instant smile cover Xena's face. The forest scout excused herself as she saw Xena head in their direction, but looking back at Gabrielle she doubted it had been heard.

"Hi Xena," Jadax said as the two passed by.

"Hiya Jadax. Did you have a good afternoon?" Xena said. Jadax noticed with a smile, she didn't even slow down to hear a reply. She watched as the warrior scooped up her bard. Jadax wondered if it was always going to be like this.

"Probably," she said aloud as she turned and headed to the palace in search of her own lover to hug.

"Your armor Xena. Where did you find your armor?" Gabrielle ran her fingers over the bronze breast plate, instantly causing Xena to lower her eyelids.

"Nazalon had it. Didn't she do a great job?" The warrior watched as her bard continued to play with the bronze swirls. "If you don't remove that hand, I'll remove this armor right here." Xena loved to make her blush, it wasn't hard to do.

"Nazalon had it?" Gabrielle looked into the oceans of blue as Xena smiled.

"We had a talk ... a good talk. No punches, no swords, just two women talking ... about the woman they both love."

"Xena, I love ..."

"I know Gabrielle. But she loves you too. We sorted it out. She gets the days to talk to you, and I get the nights to sleep with you." Xena ducked just in time, as the open hand of the irate blonde went flying past.

"Relax ... I was only joking. We had a nice talk. She wants to be your friend ... and mine. I thanked her for looking after you, and for my armor. She also had my saddle. It hasn't looked that good in a long time."

Xena saw the look pass threw the green eyes. Gabrielle remembered the last time she saw Xena's saddle.

"I'm sorry, I forgot you must have seen it. Come here. I've missed you. I don't like it when I haven’t seen you all day." The warrior searched for the lips she had missed. The lovers forgot their surroundings for the moment, until Gabrielle opened her eyes and pulled away from the passion they were sharing.

"Ah Xena, I don't think this is the place for this."

The warrior opened her eyes and smiled as she took her lover's hand, and returned to the forest in search of a more private spot.

It was a full day before Ephiny had a chance to even see Xena, she never got the opportunity to talk with her though. So on the second day, she waited for their bedroom door to open and called to the warrior. As Xena approached the Queen, Ephiny asked, "Do you feel up to a ride? I want to get away for a while today. Thought you might like to join me."

"Sure, as long as it's not too far." Xena remembered what the last long ride felt like.

"I thought we might ride up to the lake." Xena affirmed her reply and the two agreed to meet in the barn.

Xena had obviously been at the barn awhile when Ephiny finally got there.

"Sorry I'm late." She said grabbing her own saddle and throwing it onto her horse.

"It's ok. It gave me a chance to spend some time with Argo." Xena leaned over and patted the golden horse.

"Saddle looks good, Xena. Nazalon did a good job," Ephiny commented, looking over at the saddle and its owner.

"Yes, she did." Xena pulled herself onto Argo's back. Moments later, the two were seen riding past the palace and over the hill toward the lake.

Not much was discussed as the two rode mainly in silence, enjoying the sights and sounds of the forest. The trail they rode was heavily used, but was still very narrow, so they took turns taking the lead. They arrived at the mountain lake way before noon. Leaving their horses tethered, they walked to the water’s edge.

"This is nice Ephiny." Xena's eyes scanned the water and the scenery, then turned back to look at the regent. "Now, what did you want to talk about?"

Ephiny smiled, not much ever got past her warrior friend. The regent motioned to a log just behind them. Nothing was said until they both were seated.

"Something was brought to my attention ..."

"For someone who doesn't like to talk, Eponin should learn to keep her mouth shut. I made a promise to Gabrielle, and I intend on keeping it."

Ephiny had no idea what Xena was talking about. She decided it might be to her advantage to keep HER mouth shut.

"Yes, there is a part of me that would like to go and hunt those bastards down and slice them into small pieces. But there is another part of me, and that other part is Gabrielle. She has asked me to let it be. I know she's afraid and I really don't blame her. She saw things I've long since forgotten, and I know she can't forget. So until she decides justice needs to be served, they are to be left alone. Sooner or later I will deal with them." Xena stared across the water.

Ephiny didn't know what to say. All of this was news to her. She made a mental note to have a chat with that quiet warrior friend of hers.

"If that is your decision, we will all abide by it. But when the time comes and I'm sure it will, please let us accompany you. For our sake and yours."

Xena looked over at her friend. She smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Would I deprive you of that?"

Ephiny shook her head and Xena looked back at the water. The Queen searched for a way to bring up the topics she wanted to discuss.

"Xena, did you know that Gabrielle told off Artemis and she hasn't been back to the temple since?"

"She what?" Xena’s expression of surprise told Ephiny all she needed to know.

"Artemis herself told me. The night you were brought in. Gabrielle blames all of them for not finding or helping you. Or better yet, not helping us in finding you."

"Did she really tell her off? Wow! I mean I do it all the time. But I'm not Gabrielle, I'm not the Chosen one of the Goddess of Hunt."

"Believe me when I tell you. Artemis was upset when she told me."

"I bet She was," snickered Xena. She didn't like it when the Gods meddled with the mortals lives.

"No Xena, I mean she was sad, very sad. I've been trying to talk to Gabrielle about it. But I think she knows, and has been avoiding the subject and me."

"And you'd like me to talk to her..." Ephiny nodded. "Artemis was sad, really?"

Xena thought about it for a moment. It wasn't right and she knew it. She held no respect for the Gods, but Gabrielle did. Xena didn't think her problems had anything to do with the Gods. Oh, Ares stuck his nose in now and then. But Xena knew to be leery of him. Gabrielle was different, even Xena knew how much they all liked her little bard, especially Artemis. The Goddess herself had chosen Gabrielle, and for her to disown her Goddess ... Xena was again reminded how much her little friend had gone through while she hovered between life and death, ignorance and remembering.

"I'll talk to her Eph., I promise."

Neither said anything but Xena knew Ephiny still had something on her mind. It wasn't long before the Queen spoke again.

"Xena, what do you remember about the time before the men found you?"

Xena's eyebrows knitted.

"I’ve told you, not much. I know now it was raining."

"No Xena, before ... Do you remember Jadax finding you at the river bank?"

"A little, I know we were a little busy."

"And after that?" Ephiny searched her icy blue eyes for a sign of ... anything.

The blue eyes squinted as Xena searched her memory.

"Not much. I remember watching Gabrielle and Jadax leaving."

"Where were they going Xena?"

"They were ... coming ... back to the village." Xena looked up and saw Ephiny staring at her.

"And where were you heading?" Xena answered without really thinking,

"I was going to get Argo and then ... and then." She looked away shaking her head as she ran her fingers through her raven hair.

Ephiny knew Xena didn't remember, so she tried a different way.

"Do you remember what happened in Tripolis?"

Xena turned at the mere mention of the place where she had almost lost her love.

"I'll never forget Tripolis, Ephiny. I almost lost Gabrielle there." Xena began to rub her lips with her index finger. Ephiny could see the wheels beginning to turn.

"Do you remember what happened after Tripolis?"

"Do you mean Tara? What does she have to do with this?"

"No Xena, I mean ... Who's Tara? ... It doesn't matte ... Do you remember going somewhere, sometime after Tripolis?"

"No, not really." Xena was getting confused and Ephiny was getting frustrated. She knew she had to get Xena to remember, it wouldn't do them any good if she just told her. She decided on another approach, only this time the questions came without pause.

"You don't remember where you were going when you parted from Gabrielle and Jadax?"

"No."

"Do you remember who you saw on the road on your way to the Amazon village?"

"You mean Ollious and his son?"

"Ok, when was the last time you saw him?"

Xena blew out a breath, "Phhh ... a long time ago." Ephiny saw nothing. Maybe she didn't remember, or maybe ...

"Xena, do you remember the first time you met Gabrielle?"

"Yes, it was in Poteidaia ..."

"Do you remember the first time you really kissed her?"

"Believe it or not, her wedding da ..." Something flashed in the blue eyes and Ephiny saw it.

"Do you remember when she first kissed you?"

"Yeah. I was basically dead, but I do remember. I don't think Autolycus will ever ..."

"Do you remember when you first realized you really loved her?"

"Yes. It was with you in the Thessalian temple, when she ..."

"Do you remember when you decided to marry her?"

"Yes, right after Tripolis. I went to see Ollious ..." Xena stopped when she realized what she had just said. Her mouth dropped slightly and she turned to look at Ephiny. The Queen took hold of her hand and placed in it, the small, elegant ring Xena had made for Gabrielle. The warrior looked down at her hand. Ephiny smiled at the dazed look on Xena's face.

"Do you think you might want to tell her now?"

Xena had yet to say a word. Ephiny was beaming as she placed a hand onto Xena scarred cheek. "Nazalon found the ring under your saddle. We figured you put it there after you picked it up from Ollious. When Eponin and Jadax found you, it had been Ollious they had gone to talk to. From there, they went to Visala and found you in the street." Xena still hadn't said a word.

Ephiny put her arms around the quiet woman and softly said, "That's where you went when you left Jadax and Gabrielle. To get her ring and it was the ring that lead us to you." Ephiny kissed the top of Xena's head. A moment or two later, Xena finally spoke in a quiet, almost distant voice.

"I remember drawing it out. We had stopped to let Gabrielle rest after Tripolis. She was so weak from the poison. Design after design, I drew. Until I realized, simple was better. I put a quill to parchment and came up immediately with this." Xena pulled out of the embrace and stared down at the small ring. Turning it around in her fingers, she continued. "I left her in the innkeepers care and went to find Ollious. He was tickled when I told him what I wanted. He couldn't wait to meet her." Xena fell silent again. The ring was now clutched tightly in her hand.

Ephiny finally asked softly, "Don't you think she's waited long enough?" Xena smiled and wiped away a lonely tear.

"Yeah ... too long." The two friends stood, Ephiny stopped Xena with a hand on her arm. Wrapping her arms around the warrior, she said happily,

"May I be the first to say congratulations? But I won’t be the last to say 'Took ya long enough'!" The two parted laughing as they started for their horses.

Xena had collected Argo’s reins when Ephiny called out to her. The warrior turned and walked her horse to the Queen's side. Ephiny was looking for something in her saddle bag.

"I have something else that belongs to you." Ephiny handed Xena her distinctive and unique weapon. Her chakram. Xena's left fingers wrapped tightly around its sharp edges. There was no injury to the warrior princess this time.

"Please. Don't throw it until you’re by yourself. I would hate to see the damage you could cause being just a bite rusty." The regent begged.

"Oh, you don't have to worry. I remember how to use this now. But I will have to practice up with my left hand." Xena laughed, but promised she would try it alone for the first little while.

Climbing onto their horses, they headed back in the direction they had come.

Gabrielle had just come out of the palace heading for the kitchen, when she spotted the two returning from their ride. She was slightly concerned for Xena. The warrior looked quite flushed. But the smile on her face made Gabrielle realize she obviously had a good time. It was then she noticed Xena's chakram hanging from her hip. It really did look like the old Xena. Her armor and chakram only enhanced her persona. The two rode on past, smiling and waving and continued onto the barn. Gabrielle headed in their direction.

As Ephiny dismounted, she turned to Xena, "any idea of how you're going to ask her?"

"None, but give me some time. I'll come up with something."

"You better not wait too long. Amazon women love to talk."

"Hey, is that a crack at me?" Gabrielle said as she came around the barn door.

Ephiny's eyes darted to Xena, but the blue eyes were already on her bard.

"No, it was a crack at Ephiny." Xena said as she pecked a kiss onto Gabrielle's cheek.

"Well, on that note, I think I'll leave you too alone." The two lovers barely heard her. But Xena did lift her head and wink as the Queen smiled and departed.

"Xena, you look a little flushed. Are you all right?" Gabrielle had her arms wrapped tightly around Xena's waist.

"I couldn't be better. It must have been all the fresh air, or some of the stories Ephiny told me today," Xena almost giggled out loud. 'Stories indeed.' she thought. Smiling down at her lover, Xena placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I have to unsaddle Argo and brush her down. Would you mind doing Ephiny's horse? I told her I would."

"No, of course not." They parted and began their individual tasks, but Gabrielle kept an eye on Xena the whole time. She knew her warrior well enough to know when something was on her mind. Gabrielle didn't want to pry, so if Xena didn't want to talk about it, she wasn't going to ask. But this was Gabrielle.

"Xena, what's on your mind? I can see you're thinking about something."

Xena flashed a smile and lightly said, "No, nothing."

Gabrielle pondered. She wondered if she knew, "You're not thinking about us leaving already are you?"

"No Gabrielle. I'm just enjoying the moment. I had a good time today." Xena turned her attentions back to Argo.

"I see you have your chakram back."

"Yes, but I had to promise not to throw it with anyone else around. Which is alright, I'll have to sharpen my left-handed throw anyhow?"

Gabrielle tried not to think about why. It didn’t do any good, she knew she would never be able to forget.

They finished with the horses and came out of the barn together. Xena could smell the kitchen and obviously so could Gabrielle's stomach.

"Do you think we should feed that monster, or just let it get louder?" Xena said poking her finger into Gabrielle's stomach.

"Ok, so I'm hungry. Is that a crime?" She hated being bugged about her loud stomach by anyone other than Xena. The two headed off to the kitchen. All the way through the meal Gabrielle knew something was definitely on Xena's mind. She knew Xena would tell her in due time, or sooner she hoped.

The warrior princess's mind was very preoccupied. Since leaving the lake all she could think of was how she was going to ask her bard the big question. She knew it had to be special but she didn't know how ... yet. She also remembered her promise to Ephiny, and she wondered how to approach the subject. Yes, Xena's mind was definitely preoccupied.

Xena was up candlemarks before dawn. She had crept out of bed and had left the room silently. Gabrielle was still fast asleep. Xena smiled to herself as she left the palace. Gabrielle could sleep through anything, and she was counting on it. Returning awhile later with Argo, saddled and ready, Xena stopped and had a few words with the royal guards. Nodding in understanding, one of the guards followed Xena and Argo to the back door.

Xena slipped into the bedroom again and smiled at the sound of Gabrielle still snoring. Climbing onto the bed with Gabrielle's robe in her hand, she gently nudged the little blond. At first there was no response, so Xena shook her a little harder.

"Uhmmm ... umbdffff." Was all that came out between her sleepy lips.

"Gabrielle ... Hey, you need to get dressed. Come on." Xena assisted Gabrielle into a sitting position. Her green eyes remained closed.

"Here we go." Xena lifted Gabrielle's arms and covered the nude, warm body, with the robe. Xena tried to ignore the sexual urge she got as her hands lightly passed over her breasts.

"Where ummm rrr weee going," the bard mumbled. Xena smiled down at her and gently placed a kiss on her sleeping face. She really could sleep through anything.

"We're going for a ride. Let's put this blanket around you." Xena wrapped her up and then lifted her small bundle into her arms. Silently the warrior and her sleeping bard left the room.

The royal guard looked up as Xena and her Queen came out the back door. The guard held the sleeping bundle while Xena climbed onto Argo's back. Situated in the saddle, Xena leaned down and claimed her lover. Winking at the guard, she turned Argo and began to climb the hill behind the palace.

Gabrielle was asleep in her arms, mumbling and muttering every now and then, but still unaware of her changing surroundings. Xena wondered how she could do it. Just a feeling or a sense would awaken her from the deepest sleep. She nuzzled through the blanket and kissed Gabrielle's cheek. Xena knew she had never felt so good.

On the return ride with Ephiny yesterday, she had spotted a small clearing. She had recalled it while lying in bed, just a few candlemarks ago. The clearing would have an unbelievable view of the valley at sunrise. This was where she had decided to give her heart away.

The golden mare was guided off the trail as the tall grass danced against Xena’s boots. The stillness just before dawn blanketed the mountainside in peaceful serenity. The warrior appeared to be a statue of stone as they made their way to the edge of the mountain. Nothing showed of the nervousness swirling inside her.

As Argo came to the clearing, Xena reined her in. Lowering her head, she whispered into the sleeping Queen's ear.

"Gabrielle ... " The warrior murmured louder, "Gabrielle ... Hey, sleepy head." The bard only muttered and snuggled deeper into Xena's arms. The warrior called again, but this time placing a firm kiss on her lips.

Gabrielle responded and started to awaken. The eyes fluttered and then looked up into the warm sea of blue so near to her face. A smile started to form, but then her eyes started to dart around at their surroundings. Pulling her head from the blanket, Gabrielle was stunned at what she saw.

The arena of trees surrounded them. A mountain mixture of evergreens and poplars lined the edge of the moss covered, rocky clearing as the sky and valley below fell away from the edge they were standing on.

"Xena. Where are we? What I am I doing on Argo's back? Xena, what are we doing?" Gabrielle had shot out the questions while not really looking for an answer. Looking back at her warrior, she waited for some kind of explanation. Xena only smiled and nodded her head in the direction of the growing light of the sun's reflection. Gabrielle said nothing as her green eyes absorbed the event unfolding in front of her.

The dark of the night sky had changed to shades of grey. The morning sun was transforming the skies to a palette of glowing, ripples of light. The shadows began to unveil the beauty that had been hidden by the cloak of darkness. The green valley below began to sparkle as the sun caught the shimmer of the morning dew, sending rainbows of prisms dancing around them. As the wavering, orange orb broke the crest of the horizon, it shot rays of golden, pink fingers across the vast sky. The songs of the early morning birds floated on a gentle breeze, scented with the smells of a mountain morning. Gabrielle wondered if Xena had found ... paradise.

In her low husky voice, Xena started to speak.

"When I met you, I was like the night. Every thing about me was dark and hidden ... But you could see through the darkness. You saw into my soul. You became my light Gabrielle, and you exposed my darkest shadows. You showed me how to love again." Gabrielle could feel her insides tingling as she watched the woman she loved confess her heart.

"Like the sun, you brighten everything around me. You have shown me what love is." The ever growing light of the sun reflected off of the tears on Gabrielle's cheeks. She watched as Xena’s own eyes began to sparkle with moisture.

"Love is what brought me back to you. Ephiny showed me that. I wouldn't give up until I was back in your arms. Something deep inside me still knew who you were and knew you were here waiting for me. We have come so close to losing each other so many times. I never want it to happen again." Gabrielle sat up straight in Xena's arms. She pulled a hand out of the blanket and placed it on Xena's wet cheek.

"You are the best thing to ever happen to me, Gabrielle. You are my light, you are my soul ... you are my life. I love you, Gabrielle." The little blond smiled through her tears. Xena finally spoke the words Gabrielle had been waiting to hear. The warrior bent over and laid a passionate kiss on the waiting lips of her love.

Xena gazed into Gabrielle's eyes.

"I love you ... I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, and holding you." Xena reached into the cleavage of her leathers and pulled out a small pouch. Juggling the bard easily with her left arm, she handed it to Gabrielle. The bard swallowed as her shaking fingers undid the ties. The gold ring fell into her shaking hand as an emotional Xena asked ...

"Gabrielle ...Will you marry me?" The green eyes sprang forth a new river of tears as Gabrielle looked up from the ring into Xena's loving blue eyes.

"Yes Xena ... I was afraid you'd never ask." Gabrielle steadied herself, freeing Xena's left arm. She took the ring from Gabrielle's hand and slowly slid it onto her finger. It was a perfect fit.

Gabrielle looked up and said.

"It's beautiful Xena. I don't have to guess who designed it. I just never knew what the drawings were for."

"What?"

"I recall awhile back, every time I saw you, you were drawing X's, all of different shapes and sizes. I never could figure out what they were for. Now I know. You've known for a long time, haven't you?"

"Yes ... But I was never certain of how you felt. Oh I knew you loved me, but I wasn't sure if you could love me."

"I would have waited forever, for you Xena. I love you."

"I love you too." 'It finally feels right,' thought Xena. She had finally said the words she swore many years ago she would never say. But many years ago, she didn't know Gabrielle.

Ephiny and Jadax were having breakfast in the kitchen when they began to hear tidbits of gossip.

"... I heard she was sound asleep ..."

"... but why in the dark ..."

"... maybe she flipped out again ... I'm sure Gabrielle is ..."

That statement had been enough. Ephiny left her table and leaned over a table of adjoining messengers,

"What's going on? ... Jadafar? Shureep? ... Someone fill me in?"

They looked up and immediately responded.

"Did you not know Xena left the village?"

"This morning?"

"Before the sun was up?"

"On horse back?"

"With Gabrielle in her arms ... Asleep?"

Ephiny blinked as she looked from one Amazon to another.

"No, I wasn't aware of that, thank you."

The regent quickly returned to Jadax and whispered in her ear as she went past, heading for the door.

"Let's go. Something’s up!"

Jadax was on her feet following right behind Ephiny as the regent opened the door.

"What ... what's going on?" Jadax asked as she looked at the frown on Ephiny’s brow.

"Apparently Xena is up to something. She left with Gabrielle this morning ... before sun up."

Ephiny bee-lined it to the palace. One of the guards had to have known what was going on, and she wanted to know why, she the Queen, had to find out via gossip central. Ephiny's long steps were rapidly eating up ground and Jadax was doing everything she could to keep up.

"You mean they're not in their room?"

"No. Apparently Xena left this morning with Gabrielle in her arms. Asleep!"

"Asleep?"

"That doesn't surprise me, that girl can sleep through anything. What surprises, and annoys me, is NO ONE told me."

They reached the palace steps and much to Ephiny’s unhappiness, neither guard had been on last night nor this morning. They both thought Xena and Gabrielle were still in their room.

A perturbed Queen and her consort entered the palace. Eponin looked up at their arrival.

"Have you heard?" Eponin said with a grin.

Continued - Part 4b (final)

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