GENERAL COPYRIGHT/DISCLAIMER:

Xena, Gabrielle, Argo and all other characters who have appeared in the series Xena: Warrior Princess, are the sole copyright property of MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are my property. Please do not use my characters without my consent. NOTE: All works remain the © copyright of the original author.

This story depicts a love/sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If you are under 18 years of age or if this type of story is illegal in the state or country in which you live, please do not read it. If depictions of this nature disturb you, you may wish to read something other than this story. Hey! Everybody needs love!

COMMENTS: I welcome all comments and can be reached at shempski@yahoo.com

By

Falcon

June 1999

"I could really go for a meal of freshly, hand-caught fish cooked over an open fire Xena!"

"Go!" Xena replied, as she put an edge to her sword with the whetstone.

"Noooo!" You go. You’re the best fisher in this gang!" And the Bard gave the Warrior a toothy grin.

"Oh, all right! You know…. you’ve gotta stop whining, Gabrielle!" Xena said with a hint of humor, as she stood up from her comfortable position at the campsite.

"Oh stop, I’m going!" The Warrior grinned and headed into the woods towards the direction of the river.

Thinking to herself, That girl, I love her so much but she’s like a tick sometimes. She gets right under my skin!

Xena approached the river and discovered it was up on an elevated bank. As she made her way to the edge of the bank, she slipped on the moist soil and moss growing on the slope which sent her sliding down toward the water and into the path of a surprised skunk, marauding around. The skunk, without hesitation defended its territory by immediately spraying the Warrior.

"AHHHH! My gods! …ahth……..hceck, hec…thew..ack!"

Xena jumped quickly into the river but the damage had been done and there was no getting away from it!

With no fish in her possession, the Warrior returned to camp to find Gabrielle working the campfire and preparing for the meal.

"Xena! You’re all wet! What happened!" The Bard asked and started to laugh uncontrollably at the sight of her hero dripping all over the ground. Just then the wind took a turn in Gabrielle’s direction and she caught the drift.

"Whew! Skunk! You stink, Xena! Get away...... get away!

Gabrielle held her nose with one hand and used the other to direct Xena to another area of Greece.

"Oh dear gods, what are we going to do with you?" Gabrielle asked.

The last time this happened were at least twenty moons ago and then it was Borias that got sprayed and not she. This thought brought a slight smile to her lips but it faded fast in the vapors she was engulfed in. Xena recollected that no matter how much Borias scrubbed himself and how many times he washed, the smell hung like fast to him as does ones skin to the body.

Xena thought, If the skunk could talk, it would be saying, "Wear it well Xena, Princess Warrior!"

"Gabrielle! What am I gonna do?" The Warrior cried as her eyes welled up with tears.

Gabrielle wasn’t sure if it was the skunk’s gift or Xena was truly crying over the moment so she consoled her from a distance by saying, "My love, I hurt for you and I want to help."

Xena opened her arms from across the campfire.

"Forget it! I’m not crazy! I want to help but sharing the experience is something I do not want to do."

"This very well might be the first story you could right Xena! How I got skunked fishing! Ha, ha ha ha…

I’m sooooo funny!" And the Bard danced a few steps.

Xena threatened to approach and Gabrielle squealed, while apologizing over and over.

The Warrior sat down on a rock feeling dejected and smelly. The fire felt good, so Xena stripped out of her leathers and stood there naked to the world.

"Not now Xena, I’m not in the mood." The Bard rolled on the ground in laughter. She couldn’t stand how funny she was.

Xena’s patience was almost to the breaking point and she got very silent standing straight and stern. She was breathing deeply and her breasts were rising and falling in rhythm as she tried to hold her temper. She knew deep down that if the tables were turned she would be working the situation also.

Where was Joxer when you needed him, Xena thought? This was something he would have stumbled into, not me!

Gabrielle momentarily forgot herself and was hypnotized by the vision that stood across from her.

"Gabrielle! Get me a tunic out of the saddlebag. I don’t want to spook Argo." Xena asked politely.

Gabrielle brought herself back to reality and obliged her lover, tossing the tunic to her.

"You know Xena, I think I remember a remedy for skunk." The Bard exclaimed!

"Oh Tartarus! Here comes another joke!" Xena said with an ounce of sarcasm.

"No! I’m serious Xena. It has to do with fruit or vegetables I think." In her attempt to remember her forehead wrinkled.

"That’s it! It’s the red one that some call fruit and some call vegetable. We just have to find some tomato’s."

The Bard told the Warrior her plan to find a farmer’s garden………..

After looking for at least a candlemark, the two came upon a farm. As they walked Gabrielle insisted Xena stay at least two horse lengths behind her. About a stones throw behind the farmers dwelling was a garden. Gabrielle walked along the tree line while Xena followed a safe distance behind. The Bard worked her way to the back of the garden for a closer look.

"Ah, tomato’s!" the Bard mumbled to herself.

"Xena, why don’t you wait here while I scavenge a few of the ruby reds.

She filled her leather bag full. Then she worked her way back to Xena. The two retreated from the edge of the forest deeper into the woods until they found a small clearing.

"I’ll go get some more tomato’s and you take your clothes off Xena. I’ll be back in a horses tail swish!" The helpful lover said.

Gabrielle returned to find Xena standing sheepishly and still stinking of skunk.

"Well, what do I do now," Xena asked as she scratched the back of her leg with her hand.

"Let’s see…. You stand against that tree over there." The Bard explained, as she pointed.

Xena walked over and did as was suggested.

The Bard took a position in front of Xena, about a horse length away. She reached into the bag, pulled out a tomato and threw it at Xena. The Warriors reflexes enabled her to grab the tomato before it hit her body, but it squashed in her hand and splattered all over her.

"That’s the idea Xena! We need to get the tomato juice all over your body. It’s supposed to take away the smell.

"Ya sure! Then I get to smell like a tomato." Xena said sarcastically. " Why don’t you come over here and rub it in?"

"If you didn’t stink, I’d have been there all ready and I think you know that, Warrior Princess!"

Xena followed the Bards instructions until she threw a couple of hard, unripe green tomatoes. The Warrior then decided to take the second bag back down to the river by way of the forest and rub them in herself. After a couple of days of ribbing from her lover and a short life of celibacy, their lives return to normal.

"Xena! I sure got a hankering for fish today." The Bard whined.

"Go fish!" Xena said as she pointed toward the water.

The End

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