Disclaimer: The characters of Xena, Gabrielle, Dr. Janice Covington and Melinda Pappas belong to MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures. No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction. It was not done for profit, what ever that is.
Subtext Warning: This story implies a loving relationship between two consenting adult women. If this kind of thing offends you, you are under 18 or it is illegal in the state/country in which you live, read no further.
Plot Warning: No plot, just a bit of drivel I thought up late one night, you can tell, sorry!
Feedback: I'm at archaeobard@hotmail.com
The Scroll
By archaeobard
"Janice Covington, you must be one of the most senseless, insensitive brutes that God put on this dear earth!" Mel ranted at her partner finally succumbing to the anger that had threatened to envelope her for the last hour.
"What? What have I done now?" Janice slumped back in her chair. God she wanted a drink.
"Read that, read what it says." Mel snapped, pointing her finger several times at the most recently translated passage.
Janice sighed and pulled herself upright, grabbing the text. "Night had fallen, dabbled shadows silently caressed her shoulders in the moonlight. I was jealous of the moon.'" She threw the piece of note paper down on Mel's desk and glared at her.
"And that tells you nothing?" Mel asked, chewing on her pencil in exasperation.
"Yeah, that Gabrielle also wrote sloppy poetry."
Mel dropped the pencil to the table, unable to comprehend what she was hearing. She repeated the phrase. "'Night had fallen, dabbled shadows silently caressed her shoulders in the moonlight. I was jealous of the moon.'" She added a little emphasis to the last sentence and raised an eyebrow. "Still don’t get it?" she asked.
"Look sweetheart, I'm not an expert on syntax like you. Why don’t you just tell me?" Janice extricated a cigar from her breast pocket and lit it with purpose.
"You don’t have to be an expert in syntax to get it Janice, it's there, right in front of you."
"Where? I don’t see it." Janice made an attempt at being funny by scanning the room with a swift eye.
"Oh for crying out loud, 'I was jealous of the moon', ie: I was jealous of the moon for caressing her shoulders." Mel threw out her hands hoping that the archaeologist finally got the point she was trying to make.
"That's stupid. Why would Gabrielle be jealous of the moon caressing Xena's shoulders?"
"Gee Janice, I don’t know, maybe she wanted to caress them or something." Mel replied, the sarcasm dripping from her voice.
"Why would she want to do that? "Janice puffed a couple of times on her cigar.
Mel stood up, that was it, she'd had enough of the dense woman sitting before her. "Why do you think?" she said as she moved over to the liquor cabinet and poured herself a gin and tonic and a scotch for her partner.
"I don't know, maybe Xena had had a hard fight and was tense?" Janice accepted the scotch gratefully and took a long deserved drink.
"Are we speaking the same language here?" asked Mel after taking a sip of her gin.
"I hope so, otherwise I've become proficient in some language I know nothing about."
Mel nodded, "Know nothing about I can figure, but proficient, I hardly think so." It had to be said.
"What are you saying?"
"Never mind. I'll read you the next passage and see if you can get it this time." Mel shook her head and picked up her translation.
"To watch her at her nightly routine stills my soul yet quickens my heart. I dare not look in her direction lest she see what I cannot hide.' Any clues?" Mel asked looking up.
"Uh Gabrielle felt safe in Xena's company?" Janice tried.
"Yes, that is implied, but there is something more to it than that." Mel said slowly for the benefit of the dim witted archaeologist. At least that was how Mel was beginning to see her friend.
"Something more huh? Just spill it Mel, I'm not in the mood."
"Obviously."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing Janice, just that this text implies that Gabrielle felt more than friendship for Xena." Mel downed the rest of her drink and rose for another.
"More than friendship?" Janice asked, stubbing her cigar out in the ashtray on Mel's desk.
"Yes Janice, according to this text, Gabrielle wanted to caress Xena's shoulders and simply watching her perform her nightly tasks made her pulse race." That was blunt as she could be without dropping to Janice's crude level.
"How do you know that?"
"Janice Covington, it says it right there in the scroll! What more do you want me to say?" She flung an accusing arm in the general direction of the scroll lying on the table.
"Hang on," Janice sat forward on her chair, "Your telling me that a sweet, innocent bard from Poteidaea was thinking about Xena as more than a friend?"
"Yes!" Mel almost screamed, "That's exactly what I'm telling you."
"So basically she wanted to fuck the warrior's brains out." Janice swore.
"Well, you don't have to put it quite like that, but yes, it is implied."
"I see, goddamn!" She sat back in the chair again swigging the rest of her drink. "So, did they?" she finally asked.
"Did they what?"
"You know, go at it like rabbits?"
The end.