SCRIBES & SCROLLS: Written by Chris Manheim; Edited by Jim Prior; Directed by Robert Tapert

PASSING PARADE: Jeremy Roberts (Aiden) Mervyn Smith (Garr)

STORY SO FAR: Gabrielle and Xena fall into a Paradise-like world and meet an unusual man who offers to help the bard find her inner peace.

DISCLAIMER: Paradise was found but not necessarily embraced during the production of this motion picture.

REWIND FOR: I am torn between recommending the opening cave scene for the banter, togetherness moment (it’s been far too long) and Psych 101 lessons and rejecting it for the gross close-up sewing bee Gabrielle’s doing on Xena’s leg. Eeww!!

Xena suddenly jumping when Gabrielle gives her an unseen slap/kick to get her to accept the warm bath plan.

Sir... SIR? Oh you gotta watch that between the legs shock-shot again; even if Gabrielle looked so ho-hum you’d think this particular confusion happens to Xena on a regular basis (in which case, see review below).

Limber Gabs Does Stretchies - the exercise tape is out soon. Most impressive, ROC.

Gabrielle on the bed, Xena doing sit-ups - never a more incredible contrast of their characters will you find. And, visually, any movie would be proud of that establishing shot, with Gabrielle laid out beautifully on that bed of white, framed by her gold hair.

That incredible look of pain in Xena’s eyes as she asks Aiden what she can do to stop her hallucinations and he tells her she will start acting them out on Gabrielle.

The Smile. When the stitches reappear, that’s a Genuine Smirk(tm) from Xena.

That’s some seriously weird blood droplet action there. The massage was a tender farewell and quite an unusual contrast, so it works as a nifty, surreal effect.

Why would the medal on the blue soldier still be shiny silver? Or even there? All their other clothing has turned blue and their metal weapons only clank back into place once the illusion is dissolved.

QUOTABLE: "I was just wondering if maybe your fighting for good has more to do with the fighting part than the good part," Gabrielle preps Xena for the talk show circuit.

"You wanna heal the world, right?" Aiden matter-of-factly on Gabrielle’s hitherto unknown Mother Theresa plans. She wants to do what?! Well, why start small...

"Aw Zeus, you don’t really like this guy? That’s it, isn’t it? You LIKE him!" Xena analysing the bard’s taste in suitors, once again weighing up all his obvious flaws, shortcomings and general unsuitability. (He did die by the way... Maybe even being accused of liking them is enough to kick in the bard’s dead love curse. Though, having a jealous warrior-princess companion, doesn’t help either.)

"I realised I never came to terms with my failure as a mother. I kept the guilt in my heart," Gabrielle to Xena - still a touchy subject though; methinks it’s finally time these two had a long, long talk.

"I sometimes talk about your darkness like it’s some sort of disease but without it neither of us would be alive. Kind of ironic." Gabrielle works out what Xena fathomed as far back as season one, Dreamworker.

"Do I really have hands like a sailor?" Gabrielle to Xena. And that time, yeah, the Warrior Princess did smile, boys and girls. Chuckle. No reason, I’m sure...

Best comebacks:

Gabrielle: You smiled - when that big guy came at you and you tossed him at the other three - you smiled.

Xena: I winced. He was big.

Gabrielle: I fell down a hole.

Xena: Yeah, what is it with you and holes?

Gabrielle: It’s beautiful isn’t it.

Xena: Yeah, in that yuppie island paradise kinda way.

Read Full Review