Chapter 18

 

Suddenly they heard shouting, a few well-chosen curses were tossed about, and the loud neigh, almost bray, of a horse.

 

Rushing past the line of trees, closer to the river's edge, the party came upon two of their number trying desperately to control one very out of control horse. The white stallion reared back on its hind legs, threatening to lash out at the Amazons who ran closer in an attempt to grab the animal's reins.

 

"Lightning! Stop!" Gabrielle shouted,

 

Instantly, like water dousing a flame, the beast dropped to all four legs and calmed. He moved slowly in Gabrielle's direction, lowering his massive head when he reached the small blonde. The Queen threw her arms around the animal's neck.

 

"I'm so glad you're okay. You have to behave, these are my friends," the Amazons smiled as their Queen spoke to the horse as if he understood. They were most impressed, since most of them knew that Gabrielle's least favorite place in the known world was on top of a horse's back.

 

"That is the biggest fucking horse I've ever seen!" Eponin exclaimed.

 

"Ep!" Xena said sharply. "Little pitchers," the warrior hinted.

 

"Oh," the Amazon responded. "Sorry, big guy," Eponin apologized to the horse.

 

Xena simply looked at Gabrielle, the Queen using a strategically placed hand to cover her smile. Xena rolled her eyes, shaking her head back and forth, as she turned to the Amazon once more.

 

"Some days I'm amazed that you've lived this long."

 

"What?" Eponin asked innocently.

 

"I wasn't talking about the horse lame brain." Xena nodded her head to indicate the child standing between them.

 

"Ohhh," the Amazon grinned in embarrassment.

 

"I tend to agree with her though, Brie…where on earth did he come from?" Xena asked.

 

Gabrielle related the story of how she came to purchase Lightning. The small group exchanged some skeptical looks once the Queen finished the tale.

 

"Gabrielle," Xena began. "Please, don't tell me you actually tried out the fairy tale that one-eyed centaur told you."

 

"He wasn't missing an eye, he was missing a leg. Besides, it worked." Gabrielle replied.

 

"Right," Xena grinned at her wife. He still looks a little rank to me, hon."

 

"He's gentle as a lamb."

 

"Uh huh. Mind if I give him a spin?"

 

"Well, um…no, but you probably should--"

 

Xena sprang into the saddle before Gabrielle could finish her sentence. Lightning watched as his mistress spoke to another human, but suddenly the other human was sitting on his back, his mistress' customary spot. The stallion had learned not to balk at the feel of a rider, but this human was much heavier in the saddle than his mistress was. The animal's natural instincts kicked in and he reacted in much the same manner as the first time Gabrielle mounted him.

 

Gabrielle made a move to scoop up Tai before Lightning could trample them all, but it didn't take that long. The stallion bucked and kicked twice. On the second spin in the air, the Warrior Princess went sailing over the group's heads. Xena came down with a crash into the dirt.

 

"Xe!" Gabrielle called out. She and Tai rushed over to the fallen warrior.

 

"What was it you were trying to say?" Xena asked Gabrielle.

 

"I was going to say that you probably should let me introduce the two of you first," Gabrielle replied.

 

"You could have tried a little harder to tell me," Xena grimaced, rising to a sitting position.

 

"What…and spoil all the fun?"

 

"That was payback for all the seasons I let Argo make fun of you, wasn't it?"

 

Tai started laughing and pointed to Xena. "You funny!"

 

Xena looked up, rising to her feet with a groan. "Thanks, kid," she responded, rubbing her backside. "I did that just for you, ya know."

 

"Do it again, Xena!" Tai pleaded, slipping her hand inside the warrior's.

 

Xena looked panicked and Gabrielle merely looked amused.

 

"Maybe later," Xena muttered.

 

"All right, the show is over. Gabrielle said to everyone gathered around. "We're losing the light, so we'd better camp here for the night. We can start for home at first light. Um, we're a little short of camping supplies…Ares?"

 

"Oh yeah…suck up to the God when you need something."

 

Gabrielle realized that for some reason she had a small little bit of power over the God who usually was trying to kill her, merely tolerating her at best. She mustered up a rather beguiling look and tossed it in Ares' direction.

 

"Okay," Ares replied immediately, "guess I'm getting soft."

 

The God snapped his fingers and three large tents circled the fire. Gabrielle knew that when she looked inside, not an amenity would be missing. The Queen proceeded to tell the warriors around her what she wanted and soon the camp was teeming with activity.

 

Xena paused to watch her wife as she gave commands and answered questions. I guess this is the beginning, she thought to herself. In the past, even though Gabrielle was Queen, she deferred to Xena's judgment when outside the Village or in battle. In the warrior's eyes, this whole experience changed Gabrielle. It wasn't a bad thing; actually, it was a very good thing. It was, however, one step closer to anonymity for Xena. She felt it inside, the fact that she was quickly becoming, not Xena, the Warrior Princess, but merely Queen Gabrielle's Consort, Xena.

 

She knew in her heart that Gabrielle would never relegate Xena to either a subservient position or a spot within the Queen's shadow. The warrior remembered the words Gabrielle once spoke to her…

 

"A long time ago, I accepted the consequences of our life together…that it might one day come to this. It has. I'm not afraid."

 

Xena smiled to herself. Her wife had meant those words to mean something entirely different from the situation Xena now faced, but to the warrior, the sentiment was the same. Xena fell in love with, and married, an Amazon Queen. She knew that someday Gabrielle would assume her throne on a full time basis. Now, it was the warrior's turn to accept. It was time for Xena to accept the consequences of a life with Gabrielle, completely aware of all that life might bring. The warrior's smile reached her face as she silently undertook her destiny.

 

Gabrielle turned her head and locked eyes with Xena from across the camp. The warrior's smile said more than her words ever could. Xena knew in her heart that she could finally be content in this role. She would never play the helpless female to anyone, but for Gabrielle, she would gladly step to the rear. This need she possessed for so long, to control, situations as well as people, she felt it loosening its hold on her. Life was too short and most of the time, it came at such a cost. Xena wasn't about to spend one more heartbeat in this mortal realm either away or at odds with her soulmate, not if she had anything to say about it. She watched as Gabrielle crossed the camp to stand before her.

 

"I'll take Ep with me and we'll hunt up some dinner. I don't want to owe him too much," Xena whispered into Gabrielle's ear. "Will you be okay…especially with him here?"

 

The warrior placed her arms around the small blonde, oblivious to those watching. Her action surprised some of the onlookers, Xena never having been known for public displays of affection in front of the Amazons. Gabrielle nodded and reached up to kiss her wife.

 

"It feels good to be able to do that again," the Queen smiled.

 

"Feels pretty nice on this end, too," the warrior grinned.

 

Xena felt a tug on her battle skirt and looked down.

 

"Can I go wit you? Tai asked.

 

Xena couldn't stop herself, and that surprised her more than anyone else. "Hunting, eh? Sure you can." She scooped the child into her arms and noticed Gabrielle's worried frown. "We're just going after a few rabbits, not to worry."

 

"All right. Take care of her, though, Xe."

 

Xena chuckled as she walked away with Tai in her arms, rolling her eyes slightly.

 

**********

 

Gabrielle sat alone, enjoying the sounds of the camp a short distance away. She had fed and held Emery, seeing to it the child fell comfortably asleep, and then entrusted the sleeping infant to Maris' arms once again. She smiled at the memory of the child in her embrace. She never expected it to feel that way, the act of holding a baby.

 

The young Queen shook her head to dispel the thoughts she knew might eventually turn maudlin. Suddenly she felt a sensation against her skin that reminded her of the way the flesh on her arms would rise up with goose bumps at a cold breeze. She grinned. So, that's how Xena always knows.

 

"Hello, Ares," Gabrielle said aloud.

 

"You're getting good at that." He said, sitting down next to the young woman. "Just thought I'd pop back and let you know about your dad."

 

"Is he safe, what's going on…did you see him," Gabrielle quickly rattled off her questions.

 

"Whoa, take a deep breath. Yea, I saw him. He's not doing too badly considering what he's been through lately. We're working on getting him free right now. I guess you know by now that Hera was the one who caused all of this."

 

Gabrielle nodded. "Bedilia told me."

 

"Yea, the old broad."

 

Gabrielle chuckled and shook her head back and forth. "Ares, you can be so shallow."

 

All of a sudden, Gabrielle tilted her head as if listening to something. She knew the feeling well, but decided to let it be, for the moment.

 

"Did…did my father ask about me?" Gabrielle asked hesitantly.

 

"Gabrielle," Ares voice took on a genuine tone. "You're just about the only thing he's been thinking about. Apollo was the one who sent me to you…you know, that night," he referred to Gabrielle's failed suicide attempt.

 

"Thanks again," she responded. "I know you say father sent you, but knowing how you feel about me, Ares…well, you didn't have to do what you did."

 

"Yeah, I did," he answered softly.

 

Ares looked over at Gabrielle's questioning face and rubbed a hand over his face, nervously playing with his mustache. He didn't have to tell the girl the truth, but he knew he would anyway.

 

"You know I remember the day that your mom told Apollo she was pregnant with you. He came to me, so excited I thought he just challenged Zeus and won. I didn't see what all the fuss was, over a kid I mean, but Apollo just laughed at me and told me I'd get it someday. He asked me a favor, one that I said yes to before I knew the full extent of what I was signing on for."

 

"Father tricked you into something?" Gabrielle interrupted.

 

"He says no, but I guess the jury's still out on that one," Ares smirked.

 

"So, what was the big favor? He didn't talk you into being my guardian angel, did he? Because I gotta tell you, if that's the case, you're not doing it right," Gabrielle laughed at her own joke.

 

She looked up, concerned at the God's continued silence. Ares looked up and Gabrielle saw something she'd never before seen in his face. It was guilt.

 

"Oh no…no, I don't believe it!"

 

"What can I say? He came to me and asked me. Gabrielle, do you know what an honor it is for a God to ask another God to be Guardian to his child?"

 

"Don't! Don't say one more word!" Gabrielle placed her hands over her face, pulling them away to stare at the dark-haired God. "What…Gods, I don't even believe I'm asking this. What does a Guardian do?"

 

"Well, I guess I can't blame you too much for your thoroughly under-whelming response to the news. Guardian to a God's child is like being there for the kid when their old man can't be. When they get older, the Guardian becomes a sort of…" Ares looked at Gabrielle, suddenly unsure he should be telling the girl with such a volatile temper all of this.

 

"A sort of what?" Gabrielle enunciated each word carefully.

 

"A sort of mentor. Somebody who helps the kid out with learning about their powers and stuff."

 

"You?!"

 

"Yeah, well I guess I wasn't always there for you…"

 

"Ares, you were never there for me!" Gabrielle raised her voice.

 

"Well, I wasn't that bad…"

 

"Weren't that bad? Ares, can you even count the number of times I've been kidnapped because you talked some warlord into thinking it would be a great way to get back at Xena? How about Xena and the Furies, remember that one?"

 

"Well, I--" the God shrugged his shoulders as Gabrielle continued.

 

"Oh, and what about Hope…Callisto…have you forgotten that you all but forced me into knocking Hope into that lava pit?"

 

"Hey, I never thought you'd jump in there with her, what was that all about? Besides Apollo brought you back."

 

"My father? Is that how I…" Gabrielle's words trailed off.

 

Somewhere in the back of her memory, she did remember a kiss on the forehead by a man who cradled her in strong arms. She thought at the time she was dreaming of a father figure she wished for instead of the mortal man she grew up thinking of as her real father.

 

Abruptly, Gabrielle turned and slapped the God across the arm. "I can't believe-you-never-told me!"  The small blonde punctuated nearly every word with an additional slap.

 

"Okay, okay! I'm a selfish bastard. You knew that already."

 

The Queen finally quieted herself. "Why, Ares?" she asked. "What was so wrong with me?"

 

The God of War should have known this would be his niece's reaction. If someone had given him the same news about himself, Ares would have discounted them as having something seriously wrong with them. Gabrielle would always be Gabrielle. She internalized everything, thinking an incident such as this could only mean some serious flaw in her own character.

 

"Nothing, Gabrielle, there was nothing wrong with you," Ares said softly, even surprising himself by believing the words. "It was just…I had plans and--"

 

"That involved Xena," Gabrielle stated simply.

 

Ares didn't have to answer. He nodded his head and leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. "I guess I always figured Apollo saw that you and Xena were destined to meet and fall in love before I did. I thought he did it as a way to keep you safe from me."

 

Gabrielle's ire eased somewhat as she truly looked at Ares for the first time. She knew what it felt like to be the child that was different from everyone else, even worse, to be the black sheep of the siblings. She remembered never being able to please her father, never being able to do quite enough to become favored. She understood how those feelings could lead to mistrust of a brother.

 

"Maybe he did it because you were his brother and he loved you," Gabriele responded. "What now, Ares?" Gabrielle asked about their future.

 

"I don't know," he answered wearily. "Seems pretty clear, even to me, that Xena has what she wants, even if it's not what I wanted for her. Besides, if you don't learn how to use some of those powers you have, you'll become a rogue."

 

"Rogue?"

 

"Yeah, someone who has enough Godly blood in them to give them a few powers. Mostly just enough to make them dangerous, and at the rate you're going," he pointed a finger in her direction, "you could wake up in the morning and find out that you set the house on fire in your sleep."

 

"Could that really happen?" Gabrielle asked in alarm.

 

"Sure, but don't worry, we won't let that happen. I know how you feel about Gods and power, yadda-yadda-yadda, but you've got to learn how to use them before you can control them."

 

"Learn to use my powers…great," Gabrielle answered less than enthusiastically.

 

"Hey, there are worse things that could happen to a girl."

 

"Oh yeah? You're not married to Xena."

 

"Right…rub it in," Ares replied dryly.

 

"You'll never give up, not completely, will you?" Gabrielle asked with a smile.

 

"Yeah, well if she ends up getting as old as that broad, Bedilia, I may. Can't go there."

 

"Ares, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Bedilia is a beautiful woman."

 

"Are we talking about the same person? She's about a billion seasons old. Between you and me, she passed her prime a looong time ago."

 

"That's where we're different, Ares. I can't wait to grow old with Xena, seeing her at fifty, and then, sixty, seventy, surrounded by her own grandchildren and great grandchildren. I have a feeling she's going to be very sexy looking with gray hair," Gabrielle grinned at the God's apparent discomfort at that vision.

 

"And they tell me I have some sick fantasies," Ares responded. "So, let me ask you. The fire you started back there, was that the first time you felt that kind of power?"

 

Gabrielle looked up guiltily. "No, not really. I've felt it a few times before, usually when I'm fighting. It's like if I want something badly enough, with no doubt in my mind that I want it, well, it happens."

 

"I've got a theory about that, I mean, if you want to hear it?"

 

"You've got a theory?" Gabrielle asked.

 

"Hey, I'm full of 'em," Ares responded smugly.

 

"I always knew you were full of something, Ares," Gabrielle teased.

 

"Yeah, actually--" the God paused, his brows knit together. "Ahh…I get it…full of it…yeah! Like I was saying, I've got a theory about what went on today."

 

"Which is?"

 

Ares expression turned serious. "That maybe you started the fire when you didn't know you could, because you really wanted it. If you can manipulate your power that way, Gabrielle, you should have been able to push the wagon right off of you, down there, in the river. That is unless…unless you didn't really want to live."

 

Gabrielle sat perfectly still, not daring to raise her eyes to the dark-haired God. His guess wasn't far off the mark and the young Queen knew it.

 

"I think…sometimes," Gabrielle began, "I don't think I'm worthy…of anything. Maybe a part of me thought it would be better if I wasn't around anymore."

 

"Well it wouldn't," Ares said sharply. "Be better, I mean."

 

"I know it's hard for a God to understand, but some days, I still feel like a farm girl from Potidaea."

 

"That's because you don't believe in yourself," Ares answered. "Gabrielle, why do those women in the camp obey you?"

 

"They have to," she muttered in reply. "I'm the Queen."

 

"If Xena told them what to do, before she was even your Consort, would they obey her?"

 

"Probably. They know she can be trusted and that she knows what she's doing…"

 

"Wrong! They follow her because they believe in her, and they believe in her because she believes in herself. Gabrielle, you have to believe in yourself before you can expect others to. Hey," he reached out and gently touched Gabrielle's chin. "That's something we'll work on. Okay?"

 

"Okay," the Queen smiled, wiping away an errant tear.

 

An uncomfortable silence descended upon them both. They each turned toward the other with bewildered expressions.

 

"You're actually being nice to me," Gabrielle said first.

 

"I was just thinking the same thing about you. You know you're not such an irritating blonde when you're mouth isn't getting in the way," Ares teased.

 

"Yeah? I was just thinking that you're not quite so self centered when your ego isn't getting in the way," Gabrielle shot back.

 

The two chuckled and Gabrielle rose to go.

 

"Let me tell Xena about all this. All right?" she asked.

 

"I never get to have any fun anymore."

 

"Please?"

 

"Okay, okay, don't beg. It's not very becoming."

 

"One other thing, Ares," Gabrielle paused, placing a hand on the God's shoulder. She lowered her voice so Ares had to strain to hear her. "I know that Xena has been up in the trees the entire time we've been sitting here. I know she's been listening to us talk. Do me a favor and don't tell her I know about that either. Okay?"

 

Ares shook his head. "You two have some strange ideas about communication. I'll let you know when I find out more about Apollo. Keep your head down. Hera's not going to be happy once she finds out what went down."

 

The God of War rose to stand before the small blonde. "Hey, what's that?" he pointed to Gabrielle's chest.

 

Gabrielle looked down at the spot on her chest that Ares indicated, only to have the God's finger snap up and tweak her nose. Ares laughed at the gullible reaction.

 

"I can't believe you still fall for that," he laughed, and then was gone in a blue flash, his laughter lingering.

 

Gabrielle rolled her eyes, suddenly standing alone in the woods. "He can be such a jerk," she laughed.

 

**********

 

Xena leaned her head back against the tree, watching until Gabrielle was gone from sight. The warrior's first instinct had been to rush from her hiding place to confront Ares. His news that he was Gabrielle's Guardian completely stunned Xena. She wanted the God to take it back, to admit that he was lying for some selfish purpose of his own, but she knew that wasn't true. Deep down, she had a feeling that Ares behavior was genuine and the God of War spoke the truth. She watched his interaction with Gabrielle and realized she'd never seen the God that way…acting rather…human.

 

What worried Xena the most was Gabrielle's admission about the events in the river. The warrior always knew that Gabrielle suffered from a certain lack of self-esteem. Of course, traveling with the great Warrior Princess never helped the young woman's sense of worth. During their time together, Gabrielle spoke to Xena of a number of things during the younger woman's childhood that helped to shape the bard's life. Xena didn't doubt the verity of Gabrielle's love for the warrior, nor her devotion to the bard, but Xena wondered if she'd been showing Gabrielle the support she needed. Was Xena's love holding her wife up, helping her to grow, or was it smothering? Had she spent most of their time together simply telling her wife what was best or had the warrior offered an opinion and then let Gabrielle choose her own way? Had Xena let Gabrielle select her own path, following her own way, or had the dark-haired woman simply allowed Gabrielle to trail along behind, pursuing Xena's path?

 

Xena jumped from the trees and made her way back to their camp. The sun was nearly set and she felt a powerful need to be near her wife. They'd been apart for too long now and the warrior was determined to begin her part, to see that the small blonde truly came to believe in herself.

 

**********

 

"Were you able to get her back to sleep?" Xena asked the small blonde.

 

"Finally. I think she's just used to having someone there when she wakes up." Gabrielle settled herself against Xena's chest as they sat before the campfire. The young Queen explained what she knew about Tai's life so far from what Ella had confided in her. Gabrielle told Xena the story as Ella told her that night.

 

"Maybe we should be in there with her." Xena suggested.

 

"She's sound asleep, Xe, I think she'll be okay for a bit. Besides, I think we need to talk…just the two of us."

 

"Yeah," Xena answered, once again fearful of what those words implied. Would Gabrielle ever leave her for the life of a Demi-Goddess?

 

"What are you thinking?" Gabrielle asked.

 

"What?" Xena looked up quickly to find her wife's head turned, green eyes gazing into deep blue.

 

"What are you thinking; right this minute?"

 

"I…uh…can you read my thoughts?" the warrior asked in concern.

 

"Yes, but not the way you're thinking, silly," Gabrielle chuckled, which calmed the warrior considerably.

 

"I--" Xena began, but Gabrielle interrupted.

 

"The truth, Xe. What are you really wondering?"

 

"With all your new abilities I was wondering when you'll get tired of being with me," Xena answered, unable to meet her wife's eyes.

 

"Want to know the answer?"

 

Xena nodded, certain this was 'the talk' that Gabrielle wanted to have, yet unconvinced that she wanted to hear the answer.

 

"Never." Gabrielle lifted a hand to guide the warrior's face toward her, placing a light kiss upon smooth lips. "Never, Xe, but I'll tell you something. I was sort of wondering the same thing myself. Wondering how long you would be willing to stay with a woman who just happens to be half of the very thing you detest."

 

"You don't ever have to think that way, Gabrielle. I love you…all of you. No matter who your parents are or what kinds of abilities you have, I will always want to be with only you."

 

Xena wrapped strong arms around the smaller woman, pulling her tightly against her. "Besides, It's not the Gods I detest, it's the way they meddle in my life that I hate. I'm already used to you meddling in my life, so I think we're safe."

 

Gabrielle laughed aloud; not only at the words, but also at the deadpan manner in which they were delivered. Xena smiled, enjoying the sound of her bard's genuine laughter.

 

"That's good to hear, Brie, your laughter."

 

"It feels good, too," Gabrielle responded. "All of this feels good."

 

"Which part, exactly? The part where the Gods are after us again or the part where we actually had to depend on Ares for help?" Xena quipped, kissing the small blonde's ear lightly.

 

Gabrielle giggled this time. "I was thinking about the part where you were holding me in your arms, telling me you loved me and you would never leave me."

 

Xena tightened her hold and placed a gentle kiss on her wife's neck. "I'll always be yours, Brie…always."

 

"Even when I makes promises to strangers to raise their children?" Gabrielle asked hesitantly.

 

Xena took a deep breath before answering. "You must have come to care for Ella quite deeply to do a thing like that."

 

"I did, Xe. She was very special. I felt as if we had known each other for ages."

 

"I see," Xena's arms unconsciously loosened from around Gabrielle and she heard the rather hurt tone in the warrior's voice.

 

"Oh, Xe, no…" Gabrielle turned in the warrior's arms to face her. "It wasn't anything like that." Gabrielle could see it in the warrior's eyes, a hurt expression that told the Queen the warrior thought more than friendship went on between Gabrielle and Ella.

 

"I thought maybe…I mean, you were alone and under Hera's spell--"

 

"I could never be controlled that much, Xena, not to know that you're the one that lives in my heart."

 

"I shouldn't have doubted you that way," the warrior replied.

 

"You're not alone, I'd be doing the same thing if our positions were reversed," Gabrielle replied. "The time I spent with Ella reminded me a lot of being with Lila. I never thought once about her in any other way."

 

"Sorry," Xena responded sincerely.

 

"What about Tai and Emery, Xe?" Gabrielle changed the subject.

 

"You'll keep your promise," Xena answered.

 

"But, will you be able to love them?"

 

Xena leaned back again, once again holding the smaller woman against the warrior's chest. She rested her chin atop the golden head. "Children are easy to love," Xena answered noncommittally.

 

"Like your own, Xe? Could you love them like your own?" Gabrielle asked.

 

"I'll try, Brie. I'll try very hard. Okay?"

 

Gabrielle silently nodded her head.

 

"Is that what you want, my heart? For me to love these girls like I would have loved Brianna?" Xena asked after a moment's pause.

 

"I guess what I want is for you to wake me up in the middle of the night sometime, just to tell me yes, that you could love these children just like your own. It sounds silly, doesn't it?"

 

"No love, not silly at all. I will try, I promise. Hey, you ready to get some sleep?"

 

"As a second choice, it sounds pretty good." Gabrielle answered.

 

"Second choice? And just what would your first choice be?" Xena questioned with a sly grin, already knowing the answer.

 

Gabrielle pulled away and rose, turning back to the warrior; she bent down and whispered into Xena's ear. The warrior's eyebrows disappeared under ebony bangs, a slow blush creeping into her cheeks at the Queen's words.

 

Gabrielle laughed and pulled Xena to her feet. "Ready to get some rest?"

 

"You expect me to sleep, after that?" Xena exclaimed.

 

"Just consider it a debt that that still needs to be repaid," Gabrielle chuckled.

 

**********

 

"Mama…" Tai's small voice cried.

 

Xena hadn't slept yet, lying on her back staring at the roof of the tent. One arm around Gabrielle who had her head nestled comfortable on the warrior's chest, the other bent at the elbow, hand tucked under her head. She waited to see if the youngster was dreaming or awake. Continued sniffles convinced her it was the latter.

 

"Tai?" Xena whispered.

 

As soon as the warrior whispered the child's name, Tai was at her side in a shot. Pressed up against the tall woman's side, Xena felt like a sandwich between Gabrielle and the girl.

 

"Hey there, kiddo. You okay?" Xena asked.

 

Tai nodded slowly. "Scary dreams of the bad man," the child-like voice said.

 

Too damn young for nightmares, especially ones where her own father is the villain. "Yeah, I know what those are like."

 

"You have scary dreams too?"

 

"Yeah. I used to get them a lot, but not so much anymore."

 

"Why?"

 

Xena smiled. "Because Brie makes them go away."

 

"But, why?"

 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Xena knew this line of questioning would end in a vicious circle, but she decided to take a run at it. "Just because she can." Xena knew she chickened out on that one. She had memories of her own mother's voice saying, 'because I said so, dear, that's why!'

 

"The bad dreams will go away soon, Tai, just you wait and see."

 

Xena ran a hand through the fine blond hair, now resting on her stomach. Looking between Tai and Gabrielle, the warrior smirked into the dark. "Bookends. Meet Xena, Warrior Pillow," she whispered to herself.

 

"Wha?" Tai asked.

 

Nothing," Xena replied with a low chuckle.

 

Tai scooted her body up until she was lying beside the warrior, the child's face inches away from Xena's own.

 

"Hi there," the warrior said, trying not to laugh.

 

"Hi," Tai grinned.

 

"I like her," Tai said, watching Gabrielle's beautiful face as the Queen slept.

 

"Me too," Xena responded.

 

"Xena, I'm cold," Tai snuggled against the warrior.

 

Xena lifted the blanket a small way. "Come here you."

 

Tai wiggled her small body under the blanket, resting her head on Xena's shoulder. The warrior soon found her arm locked around the youngster.

 

"Can I really stay with you…for always?" Tai whispered, tickling Xena's ear.

 

The warrior turned to look into the earnest face, blonde hair framing large green eyes, ironically enough the color of Gabrielle's. "Is that what you'd like?"

 

Tai nodded enthusiastically.

 

"Why?" Xena asked, curious as to what was running through the child's brain.

 

"Cuz you and Brie are strong," Tai whispered. "So, when somebody comes and wants ta hurt me, you wouldn't let 'em. You could beat 'em up. I would be real good too. I would do what I wuz told an' I would be very, very good an' I would try not to eat too much, just small itsy bitsy pieces. Then you would be happy, cuz I would be your little girl."

 

Xena thought it was fortunate they were lying in a darkened tent. She felt hot tears run down the side of her face. The warrior's heart broke for the small girl who would try so hard, to simply be wanted and loved. Leaning down, Xena placed a gentle kiss on the child's forehead.

 

"You already are our little girl, Tai, and I won't let anybody say any different. I know you'll try your best to be good and that will be always good enough for us, but I don't want to ever hear that you're not eating as much as you should. Okay?"

 

Tai snuggled herself against Xena's neck. The warrior could feel the tiny smile against her skin. Within moments, she noted the telltale breathing, steady and deep, indicating the child was asleep. Xena cried a few more tears, thinking of the girl who could very well be her own daughter. The warrior brushed the tears away and turned to her wife.

 

"Brie? Honey, wake up."

 

"Hmmm?" Gabrielle finally tried to open sleepy green eyes.

 

"I need to tell you something," Xena whispered.

 

"I'm awake…"

 

Xena chuckled. "Then how come your eyes are still closed?"

 

"Are they?" Gabrielle answered. "I just thought it was really dark in here."

 

"Are you really awake?"

 

Finally, the eyes opened and Xena waited a moment until she could tell that the green orbs actually focused in on her. Then, the warrior leaned over and kissed Gabrielle soundly, placing a second kiss on the tip of her nose.

 

"Mmm, what was that for? Not that I'm complaining mind you."

 

"That, my heart, means the answer is yes."

 

"Okay. What was the question?"

 

Xena chuckled. "Yes, I can love these children just like our own."

 

Gabrielle's eyes opened further and she half sat up before she spied the tiny figure tucked against the warrior's frame. The Queen smiled broadly, then tears filled her eyes.

 

"I love you. You do know that, don't you?" Gabrielle whispered softly.

 

Xena looked into her wife's face, serious green eyes staring back at her with so much love and adoration, it was hard to miss. "Yes, my heart, and I'll try every day of my life to be worthy of such a wonderful woman's love."

 

The two women knew they should get some sleep, looking ahead to a day of wondering what the Gods had planned for them. Neither of them could will their bodies to rest and they whispered long into the night, making plans and discussing what the future might bring them.