DRAGONJULS Storybook
~ Actions and Consequences ~
J M Dragon
Part Fourteen
© 2000 by J M Dragon
Email: jmdragon1@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: See Part
One
Chapter Twenty-one:
Jace watched the proud profile of the woman she loved mulling over the phone call shed received in the early hours of the morning. Judy and Faith had volunteered to help the girls with breakfast and bathe them afterwards so Catherine and Jace could talk for a while alone.
Jace could see the steadily building process of a decision being made, that perhaps
would be unwelcome and as always she waited. Catherine would tell her soon. She was
steeling herself to do so, it had been a character trait that to this day Jace disliked,
but now understood. Not so, the first time she had seen it.
Are we going to have a conversation Catherine? Faith and Judy have been so kind as to leave us with some free time together. Or, do I get the cold shoulder indefinitely. Jace smiled as she saw the look of complete surprise cross Catherines face. She didnt even realise she was doing it. That was the most endearing thing, just as well, or she might have been annoyed.
What! Oh, bloody hell. Im sorry Jace, I forget sometimes. Catherine left her pacing and went towards the sofa that Jace was seated in and knelt down before her, then picked up both her hands and gently kissed.
Well if this is what your going to do everytime you stop talking to me for a few minutes, Hades Im going to enjoy myself immensely. So, whats up Catherine? Are you going to tell me now? Jace chuckled as the red stain of embarrassment stain the high cheeks bones before her.
The call last night, it was from Sarah Rogers. She needs me to travel to Xianspiros now. Catherine answered absently, her fingers gently entwining with the smaller ones she held.
Jace smiled indulgently at her partner, had to wonder where her mind drifted somedays? You know I could get jealous if youre going to be gallivanting off to a person, not to mention a place, Ive never heard of before.
Catherine looked up into the twinkling green eyes and her own held confusion, then finally, understanding as she realised what she had left out of the simple sentence. Im sorry Jace, that was unforgivable of me. I thought you knew, but of course you wouldnt, her voice soft and completely enchanting to the blonde who watched her in fascination.
Come sit here beside me darling and tell me. Jace smiled warmly at Catherine, who looked ready to bolt at the suggestion. Something wasnt quite settling well with her partner that was for sure. Jace wanted to find out exactly what and why that was? I wont bite, I promise. Unless you want me to, that is? She chuckled and saw another look of it reminded Jace of a child unable to grasp something that they didn't understand and couldnt express.
Catherine finally stood up and released the hands she had been holding and sat down heavily in the sofa.
Jace wrapped a strong, but gentle arm around her and brought the dark head to rest comfortably on her shoulder. Jace started to stroke the hair a tender motion to relax her partner, who now seemed to be as tight as a drum.
Several minutes of relaxed silence and Catherine finally began to speak in a low modulated tone, which sounded as if it belonged to another person as Jace listened intently.
Sarah Rogers is my aunts housekeeper. She arrived as a young woman in the house in London when we went to live with Constantia. So, its been nearly thirty years now! I know only that my aunt went back to live on the island of her birth and where my mother was born too. Sarah obviously went with her. Not sure when or why. All I know is that the last address I found that had her name on was at the Xianthos villa on Xianspiros. If you are wondering Jace, I found it when I was going through Adams personal papers. Funny, I really need to go through several other boxes of his things, but I just couldnt face it in the end foolish wouldnt you say? Catherine looked up and was surprised, but delighted at the soft kiss she received in response.
No. No, not foolish. Sentimental maybe, but never foolish darling. Jace answered her and resumed her stroking of the hair of her partner.
Now that must be a first, me being sentimental, Catherine laughed softly and continued with her story. All Sarah said was that my aunt is ill and shes been calling for me and that I would understand.
Do you understand why your aunt is calling for you?
Catherine turned her face up and held the green eyes with her blue ones for several seconds. It was a look of complete despair and yet held a hope beneath the surface that Jace was hard pressed not to feel the tears curse down her face at the vulnerability she saw there.
Yes. Yes, Im afraid I do know why. She will be dreaming. Catherine replied enigmatically.
Im sorry darling, but what do you mean by dreaming? Is that in it would be a dream that you would turn up even though asked? Jace was surprised at the response. She knew there wasnt a relationship between Catherine and her aunt. Certainly on Catherines part, whatever she felt was antagonistic.
Dreaming, in as we both dream and things happen. A family trait, which fortunately will die when I die, for I have no blood children alive, nor does Constantia that Im aware of anyway. It was a solemn statement said entirely factually, but with a hint of disappointment buried beneath the depths.
Jace wasnt sure if she should just wait for further clarification, her own inquisitive and impatient need outweighed it. Catherine why didnt you tell me months ago that the dreams had something to do with your aunt. You could have gone? No! We could have gone and cleared up the issue once and for all.
Because Jace, I didnt know for sure and all I knew was that she would be the person who could interpret them for me. But, I kept putting it off. Guess now I go and see exactly why Im dreaming the dreams I do. Catherine gave her partner a tight smile. It wasnt reflected in her eyes, as they appeared dull and lifeless. Her sighted right eye had the impression it was as blind as the left.
What are you going to do? came the whispered question
Do? Do, Jace? Well, Ill keep up the family tradition and honour the request from my only living relative, however painful that might be. You see my Greek blood would not allow me to forget her Jace. And my English ancestry will not allow me to ignore a request from her either. So Im trapped in a spiral of family traditions and ties that can never be covered in any handbook. I do not want to go, but I will go for I have no choice in the matter. Catherine resounded, her voice growing heavy at the thought of the journey.
Would you like me to go with you? Jace asked tentatively.
Catherine laughed bitterly it wasnt a pleasant sound and Jace gave her a quizzical look. I want you by my side for the rest of my life Jace, but this time this time I do this final thing alone, it is the final piece that makes up the puzzle of my past life. The girls need you here anyway and well I have to go track down Hudson. This was only going to be a temporary visit. You knew that didnt you love?
No! No I want you to come back home after Greece Catherine. Promise me you will? Please dont go running around the world on a wild goose chase for that woman! Jaces voice anguished at the very thought.
I cant promise that; I would never promise that Jace! Once the bitch is either dead or in prison and I prefer the former myself, than Ill never leave you again, that Ill promise. Catherines voice raised an octave or two and she moved away from Jace on the sofa and stood up her body rigidly in control.
Catherine you have promised that to me time and time again and you still leave me behind! Why do you persist in lying to me? Its not good enough that I have to live with all your demons, but to keep battling them daily, with you apparently on their side. For Gods sake Catherine, Im only human and I cant take much more! Jace couldnt stem the tears this time as they fell heavily. Catherine watched the scene as if she wasnt a part of it at all, merely a spectator in the crowd.
Thats not true Jace, I well you that is you asked to be let inside. You pleaded with me to let you in! Catherines voice strained at the words. What did this mean and how the hell did it become out of hand like this.
Dont you leave me behind again! This time the frustration of so many wasted hours alone, angry and simply missing the woman before her hit Jace so acutely, she thought that it was a physical blow to the head. Jumping up, she faced her partner squarely and although her head only reached the taller womans shoulder, she didnt appear smaller; one would have said by her stance, that she was the taller in the conflict.
Do you think for one moment that I want to Jace? That I enjoy going into these situations without you beside me, do you? Catherines words becoming angrier by the minute.
I want to say an emphatic no! But its not true is it Catherine? Its not true. There is always going to be a situation or an event that will take a part of you away from me time and again and I need to learn to live with it. Jace replied quietly, but with so much feeling Catherines heart hammered in her chest at the emotional upheaval it was causing.
Catherine looked down at the green eyes that expressed so much emotion, be it love, warmth, comfort, compassion, anger, hurt and pain. And she was the cause of the ones that distressed her partner the most. The sheer volume of them a burden Catherine was loath to keep inflicting on the woman she loved. Yet, she had no choice! There was just being with Jace and everything that went with it and she could survive! Or, there was leaving Jace and being alone and dying a little at a time each day until there was nothing left.
Yes. There will always be that situation. Is that what you wanted to hear?
Jace turned away and walked towards the patio window in the study and watched the serene peacefulness of the ranch and the fields that came into view.
Will you talk to the children this time and explain the situation? her quiet words indicating that the decision was made and there was no turning back.
That was my intention, Catherines words clipped and emotionless.
Jake will be in the stables. I suggest you go there first he will be waiting to see you, he missed you. Jace felt the sting of the tears that she was holding back.
Ill go there now, I will leave at lunchtime, guess theres no reason to delay the inevitable. Catherine watched the slim back of her partner. It was like someone was aiming a crossbow at her heart and she had no means to stop it.
Yes, a good idea. Jace answered mechanically, her mind and heart vying for control.
Ill talk to Lisa and Elena when I come back from seeing Jake. Will you ask Constance ?" Her words were effectively stopped as Jace turned an angry profile to Catherine.
Youre taking her with you? the accusation as clear as the nose on her face.
Catherine closed her eyes momentarily and tried to compose the adequate reply without getting angry herself. No! Im leaving her behind the only person hell Im going alone!
What do you want me to ask Constance? Jace finally asked the coldness of the room although it was stifling inside sending a shiver down her back.
I would like her to attend some of the drugs rehabilitation programmes you have been involved with in the town; not as a user but for information. I think she will benefit from it. Catherine requested quietly.
Jace saw the concern and the compassion for the other woman flicker across Catherines face before she shut everything and everyone out.
Its a good idea. I think she will understand perhaps whats going on in her life or what could happen.
Yes, thats what I thought. Ill go and see Jake. With that Catherine turned on her heal and left the room, her going leaving a large hole that no one else could fill.
Jace didnt reply, as there was no need. She continued to watch from her standpoint at the window and within a minute Catherine was striding towards the stable and their son. Why did they do this? Why did they want to punish each other like this? Why?
**********
Chapter Twenty-two:
Jake was grooming Rosy and humming a senseless tune, or was it an off key tune as Catherine walked purposefully inside.
Jake. Catherine called loud enough to show her presence, but not enough to startle the boy.
Jake turned and his face gave out the most amazing smile she had ever seen in her life. It was all for her. She needed it, oh lord, did she need it. Catherine am I glad to see you. He stopped the brush in mid air and then placed it on the side of the railing of the stall that Rosy was installed in.
Catherine gave him one of her dazzling smiles of pure affection. She did love these children of hers, she really did. They might not be physically part of her, but that was not the point; she loved them as her own. Well, boy Im glad to see you too. She held out her arms and he rushed into them. For several moments, they held each other in quiet acceptance of their mutual needs.
Catherine how long are you staying? Jake asked quietly as they disengaged from the embrace.
Thats an interesting question Jake and one of the reasons for coming to see you now. I need to leave at lunchtime. Catherine looked at the boy with sympathetic ice blue eyes he looked stunned.
Youre not even staying for a day with us? His voice shocked.
I was Jake, I was. But my aunt or rather her friend called, shes sick and I need to go and visit. Catherine tried to explain.
But you you never came back for the girls immediately after they were sick, like Jace did. It wasnt until Elena was in the hospital that you came home. Jake stated accusingly.
Catherine was upset at the plain truth thrown at her by a mere boy. Jake, I know it sounds odd, but I wanted to come home really I did. And I was planning on coming home!
You didnt though, did you, not like Jace? I know Elena is her real daughter, but she loves us all in the same way. Do you Catherine? Do you love us as much as your dead son? Jake asked her and waited for something, he didnt even know what.
Catherine was astonished at the remark and she felt an acute pain that threatened to overwhelm her it was so intense. No, no I didnt come home right away. Youre right Jake. That was wrong of me and I hope you can forgive me? I love you like a son Jake, I really do. And I love the girls also they are my daughters. If Im not showing that please tell me why? her anguish plain to the listener, but he was a boy he didnt understand.
Why havent you adopted us then? The pain from the boy made tears brim close to falling from her eyes.
Because I cant Jake! The words returned with equal anguish.
Jake turned his back on her and refused to do anything else but pick up the grooming brush and continue his task. You dont want to know why? Catherine asked her voice cracking with the emotion.
No! the boy snapped angrily.
Catherine watched him for several minutes and then turned her back and as she was about to leave the stables, I do love you and your sisters Jake. If there was a tangible way I could show you, I would. Dont pull the brush so hard on her flanks, she will bite you. Catherine said as she left the boy to his grooming and his thoughts.
Colin was walking towards the paddock as she left. She looked at him and a small smile played around her lips. He returned the smile with a warm one of his own. Nice day?
For some, Im sure it is Colin. Do me a favour and check on Jake in say fifteen minutes. Catherine requested tenderly.
Why? Do you want me to go now? he asked troubled at the statement.
No! No go in fifteen minutes please. Hes fine for now. Catherine answered and walked swiftly towards the ranch house and the girls.
**********
Constance looked at the partner of her boss and saw the strain. She wondered what had gone wrong from the previous evening. Hell they had been so engrossed and caring about each other and now something was wrong, so wrong and the house was almost deadly silent.
Jace do you want me to do anything today? Constance asked the preoccupied woman.
No! Jace answered her mind totally on something else.
Okay, thats fine. I get the message Ill wait for Catherine. Constance replied quietly.
Jace looked out of the kitchen window and saw her partner talking to Colin near the paddock. Im sorry Constance, Catherine will be leaving at lunchtime. She had a call that was an important family problem.
Constance looked at the blonde she didnt look happy at all. I guess Ill be going with her then. She seems to like to take me around the world like a dog. Must have been a throw back to when she was blind with the dog, huh?
Jace laughed half-heartedly at the comment. You will stay here with us. When she wants you, she will no doubt call for you. The last words said with bitterness that Jace couldnt hide.
Okay, I will do what she wants. After all she is the boss, right? Constance looked at the blonde before her and saw a pain that she had seen before it had been on Clares face in the restaurant that night. Jesus, how did they ever get into these situations?
The boss to you maybe, Jace replied angrily and her whole body stiffened as Catherine left Colin and moved towards the house. This was a nightmare.
**********
Catherine, Elena and I are feeling better, so tonight can you read us a story? Lisa asked as her hands reached around the tall woman.
Catherine allowed the child to no it should be a natural reaction, what the hell was wrong with her? Lisa I need you to listen to me, okay?
Catherine looked at the redhead and smiled. She really wished this child was her own there was something about her that made her feel linked almost to the child, kind of crazy. Then she looked at Elena who was playing for once quietly with her bricks in the playpen. God I love you both so much. Catherine said quietly part of her hoping the elder child didnt hear her.
Well we love you too Catherine. You know we do. Lisa said and settled down into her lap.
Yes, I know you do, but Lisa I have to go away again today and I need you to do something for me. Catherine said and watched in earnest as the child looked at her with blue eyes that seemed to see everything that went on regardless of how painful it could be!
You want us to look after Jace for you Catherine. The child replied clearly and her eyes never wavered as she said it.
Yes, thats exactly right Lisa. I need you to look after Jace for me and Elena and Jake do you think you can do that? Catherine hugged the slender form of the child to her.
Yeah, sure I can Catherine. Are you coming home soon? Lisa asked her innocently.
Catherine hugged her tighter and placed a tender kiss on the head of the child and her face actually smiled for the first time since shed talked to Jace earlier. Ill be home as soon as I can Princess and I mean that.
We will be here Catherine. We love you. Lisa volunteered and it brought tears to the eyes of the tall woman holding her daughter securely in her arms.
Yes, I know you do and I love you also Lisa. Catherine held the child close for several minutes until she squirmed to be free and settled herself next to Elena and they began to play some childish game that she didnt understand.
Catherine bent down and kissed the dark head of Elena and she looked longingly at the two girls as they sat playing innocently in the room. Damn, but it was hard to leave.
**********
Catherine was packing her case with a few of her favourite items of clothing. Anything else she needed she would buy along the way. Jace had been quiet and withdrawn at the whole process to such an extent that she was alone in their room, packing her luggage to leave once again. Bloody great! I cant even talk to my wife properly anymore, her voice soft echoing in the empty bedroom.
Catherine was hurt and simply unable to do the right thing, or at least the right thing that Jace approved of and what was that exactly?
Walking over to her CD collection she selected one by Infinity and smiled at the title,
so very appropriate. Leaving Without You. Her hand shook as she placed it in
the player and it rang out tones she wished shed forgotten. It was one of the first
ones the group had ever recorded.
Catherine had finished her packing as the music ended on the song. She turned and looked
around the room, feeling a loss she couldnt understand. Turning the CD player off
she collected her case and went out of the bedroom towards the kitchen.
Walking in, she placed the case near to the door, but not so it posed a problem for anyone else. Her eyes eagerly scanned the four walls and she sucked in a breath as she was face to face with her partner.
You ready to leave Catherine? Jace asked calmly.
Catherine let out her breath and she heaved a heavy sigh. Yes, Ive said my goodbyes to the children and explained as well as Im able the situation. I think you might want to check on Jake sometime today. He was kind of upset.
Jace nodded her head at the words. Hades Catherine, who wasnt! Ill do that; hes perhaps feeling a little lonely not being with the girls and in his own room.
Catherine pondered that as a plausible explanation for the boys uncharacteristic emotional outburst earlier. Jace as usual knew the problem at face value.
Yes. Yes, Im sure thats the reason.
Colin chose that moment to come into the room via the side door on the porch and looked at the two women cautiously. He went a tinge red as he lowered his head and spoke. Catherine I have the Landrover ready and Frank will be waiting for you and the connection from Christchurch to Athens has been confirmed. He looked up and saw the strain evident in both womens faces. Ill be waiting outside then. He left the room as abruptly as he entered.
I have to go. Catherine said bleakly. She didnt want to approach Jace her nerves were already shot from the mornings discussions and the meeting with the children. Another rebuke from her partner would send her over the edge.
Yes, I know. Jace wanted to wrap her arms around Catherine and never let her go but she couldnt, it was too late for that, her disillusionment so acute.
Catherine picked her up her case and the laptop that had been previously left in the kitchen for her to collect. She walked slowly towards the outer door her feet felt like lead weights. Jace watched her approach the door and she tried to call her back, she tried to will herself to forgive, and she tried .
Catherine turned suddenly and those ice blue eyes pierced the green ones and they simply asked for forgiveness as she opened the door and went out of the room.
Jace was trapped on the spot by her own inability to function beyond the selfishness of the situation and her outlook on it. Catherine was leaving again!
The motor roared into life on the vehicle on the drive and the sounds of the wheels on the gravel making Jace jump and bring her to her senses. As she opened the door to call out to Catherine it was already too late. The vehicle was headed towards the gates and the airport. Jace watched as silent tears cursed down her cheeks. She didnt know what to do, would Catherine call her? Did she deserve for Catherine to call her? A hand gently touched her shoulder and she turned dazedly towards brown warm eyes that settled on her in understanding.
It was always going to come to this Jace. She needs you to be strong here for her and I know you will be, she knows that too. Grace said gently to her friend. The whole household was aware that there had been some kind of disagreement with the couple.
Does she Grace? Does she really know I will be? Because I dont for sure! So, how can she possibly believe it? Jace answered in a voice torn into shreds at her own perception of herself.
Grace tipped the blondes chin towards her and she gave her a grin that lit the brown eyes into a warm chocolate haze and Jace responded with a small smile of her own. Yes, Jace she does. Because she loves you and she knows that you love her and you will work it out. Catherine is far too clever to let you go Jace. Even if you wanted to, she wouldnt allow it. Youre hers now and she doesnt let go, havent you found that out yet?
Jaces smile grew slightly at her friends words. I guess I forgot for a moment how possessive she could be, huh?
Yeah, thats the spirit. Before you know it, shell be back and begging you to well I guess thats between the two of you, but you get my meaning I think. Grace chuckled and saw a faint pink tinge her friends cheeks.
Yeah! I get your meaning Grace and I guess it wont be the first time and knowing the two of us, not the last either. Jace accepted finally.
Thats my girl. Now do you want to come over to my house and talk to a rather morose boy. One who thinks the world is ending because he was nasty to Catherine. Grace supplied and watched a flash of pain cross the smaller womans face.
Oh, no. I bet she thought the whole world was against her this morning. Jace cried out in anguish for her partner.
Well, fortunately its Catherine. Shell live to make you all apologise later. Grace took one of Jaces hands and pulled her towards the kitchen door and onto the porch and the house opposite.
**********
Catherine was seated in one of the chairs in the small single engine aircraft as Frank was going through the moments of taking off. It had been a rather traumatic morning. She wasnt sure who had come off the worse, her, Jace, or the kids. Maybe they had all faired pretty badly. And who could say, what this would mean at the end of the day.
Resting her head against the cold windowpane she looked out at the airfield and considered if there was anyway in the future that she could stay on the ranch for good after this, and keep one of those rather tentative promises she often had to break. It wouldnt be easy, near impossible she surmised, but it might be possible. She had an idea that she hoped might work in the short term anyway, which would leave them the time to settle down as a family and if Jace still wanted it, another baby also. Although in the present circumstances she didnt feel it would be appropriate to think on those lines, perhaps in a few months in the future .
Glancing down at the simple gold band on her left hand, she brought it up to her lips
and kissed it reverently. I love you Jace. If something should happen, though god
forbid it does, I will rue the day I left without saying so for the last time. Her
words slipped out quietly to the empty cabin. She felt the hot sting of tears and
viciously wiped them away. Now was not the time for sentiment, now was the time to focus
and clear up the outstanding matter with her aunt and see Hudson in Hell for good this
time. That was the sequence of events and that would be how things mapped out for
her. Then she could, and she would go home! It was incredibly simple when you
thought about it. Now to carry out the words and she would, regardless of how long it took
her, she would!
Continued in Part 15
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