Part 3: Shouting in the Wood

Ephiny walked slowly toward the hut where their guests were staying. The sun had set, and a sliver of moon hung in the sky. She was apprehensive, although she didn't really know why; she'd been ruling a difficult bunch of people for a long time now. She was used to making tough descisions; but this was somehow more personal. You can tell someone else what to do; she reflected, but how do you tell yourself how to feel differently than you do? Just knowing it is right doesn't make it happen. Before she reached the hut, the Priestess of Artemis stepped out of the shadows and took her hand.

"Greetings, Amazon," the woman said. "Please, take a little walk with me."

"Please call me Ephiny, Priestess."

"Thank you, Ephiny. Please call me Enomalie. You have a very beautiful village."

They walked toward the river. As they made small talk, Ephiny wondered why she had been afraid of this woman. She was easy to talk to, and before she knew it she was pouring out her life story. They sat down on a large boulder, still warm from the sun, and continued their conversation. Although it was a little one-sided, Ephiny failed to notice; the old woman made just enough responses to keep her on track.

She went through the whole tale of her life, eventually coming to her capture and rescue, and the choice she'd been offered; how she had decided to face Paladia, and to bring her to the Village, rather than kill her or leave her on Gabrielle's doorstep.

"Do you regret that descision?"

"Nooo... I'm glad I didn't have to ask Xena to kill her. But that was partly just my damn pride; I should have been able to do it myself, and I.. I just couldn't."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing, you know, " the Priestess murmured, slightly amused.

"Yes, but now.. I ... Well, she's changed, but I... I haven't. I don't hate her, exactly, but I feel...when I see her, it brings up those memories, and I hate feeling that way."

"What way?"

"Helpless...Like I couldn't... Oh, oh..." She began to sob. "Sorry."

"It's Ok. Crying is good. You need to do that. I'm here." Enomalie put a comforting hand on Ephiny's knee. Ephiny sobbed, not noticing that the Priestess held up her other hand as if motioning someone to come to a stop. After a time, Ephiny wound down, and wiped the tears from her face.

"Yeah. Feeling helpless was bad. But it's not the worst part. I.. feel like she didn't just beat me, she... she stole my soul. I guess I feel... felt... I must have been attracted to her, or I wouldn't have gone along with it... I'm so damned ashamed of myself, I can't... I can hardly look my partner in the eye. I can't make love with her-- with my partner-- without feeling... It doesn't matter how much I know I was drugged, but I still feel like it was my fault. Like I must have wanted it, somehow."

"Did you?"

"No."

"Well, that's clear. But you are still confused. You had a physical response...?"

There was a pause, and Ephiny hung her head. "Yes."

The strong safe grip anchoring her knee did not falter; it tightened a little, and kept her firmly in the present. "But that is just what bodies do, Ephiny. On some levels, yes, you have a choice of response. But not on all of them, and particularly not when you had a lot of drugs in your system. You couldn't have stopped it any more than you could stop a scratch from scabbing over, or a briuse from forming."

"Hm. But I still feel like I betrayed my-- like I betrayed Pony. I couldn't even tell her about it."

"She doesn't know?"

"No. She-- Xena told her."

"Did she behave differently to you as a result?"

"No. No, she was great. She.. she really came through for me. I don't know what I would have done without her--- I don't think I could have made it . And I have great friends. It's not that...What I can't understand... Even when Paladia apologized... It didn't make me feel any better."

"Was it a real apology?"

Ephiny thought for a moment. "You know, I think it was. I wasn't--- I didn't at the time, I was too numb. Numb-- I was still frightened. But I think it was real; it was just difficult for her, and I was so wrapped up in my own fears I didn't see that. So is that why didn't it make me feel any better?''

"Perhaps. There are levels of healing. You may know a thing on one level, but be unable to recieve it where it is needed. You can't apply a mental remedy to a spiritual problem... You feel like the woman stole your soul?"

"Yes, that's exactly it. Was she---? I mean, I thought-- I still think on some level, she's just a screwed-up kid. Are you saying she's some kind of... What?"

"No, I think you are probably right, she probably is a screwed-up kid. But you have to ask yourself what screwed her up--"

"I do?"

"Well, not necessarily. But sometimes understanding is helpful as an entry point. If she wasn't a witch of some sort, trying to actually take your soul, or rather trick you into thinking she had taken it, then she can't give it back because she hasn't got it. You can lose your soul, but it can't actually be taken from you." The priestess paused, and debated the wisdom of a discussion on that point. Not everyone agreed with her views... but since the primary need was to return the soul to the body, the theological niceties about the mechanics of removal seemed moot. She went on with her original train of thought.

"She may just have been repeating something that happened to her, or that she saw happen. She may not understand, or even remember it herself. In fact, it's most likely she doesn't remember. When illness becomes trapped in a body, it always seeks to express itself, to find a way out, to be healed. An experience can form illness in the same way. It creates a sort of rigidity, which changes all the motion around it. Suppressing the symptoms just makes it worse... The rigidity keeps replicating itself until the illness is resolved."

"Which means... what?"

"Paladia is not the answer. You are."

"Me? But how? That's damned unfair of you!"

"I don't mean that you have to do it on your own; in fact that's pretty close to impossible... I have known adepts who were able to retrieve their own souls... but they already knew their way. It's not a journey to be undertaken lightly; in fact it is extemely dangerous. No. There is good news and bad news. The good news is that recovery is possible. You can get your soul back; the bad news is that healing is extemely hard work on all levels, physical, mental and spiritual.... It's often painful and difficult. But I'll do everything in my power to help you, if you want me to."

"If I want you to?"

"Yes. I can't intervene without being asked. The descision, the desire, has to be yours. Otherwise I'm just another rapist, no matter how good my intentions. Do you want to wait and think it over, discuss it with anyone?"

Ephiny drew a breath, held it for a long moment, and slowly let it go. "Discuss it with...you mean, like, Pony? Why?"

"Well, there are different ways to proceed... you are going to need a lot of support... some ways involve your partner as well as you."

"Hmm. She's pretty skeptical... it would depend on what it was, I think. I.. I know I need help. I guess I do need time to think."

"That's fine. Take your time... If you have questions, please ask me at any time. In the meanwhile, I would like to visit the place your warriors discovered, if I may?''

"Of course. I'll arrange for the two who are still here to show you the way...it's a bit rugged, from what I understand."

"That's alright, I'm tougher than I look. Goodnight, Ephiny. Blessings on your rest."

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Eponin lay on her belly in the grass. She felt like a total heel; she'd been convinced the visitors had their own agenda, and that she needed to keep an eye on Ephiny to protect her from being brainwashed, or something. She'd ended up spying on something so intensely personal she wasn't sure how to handle it. There had been a moment when she'd actually contemplated busting in, and the damned woman had just held up a hand and gone on with what she was doing, as if she had known she was there all along. Eponin contemplated the ground. Should she just get up and walk away, or wait for the woman to leave?

"She's really lucky to have you, you know." The Priestess's voice intruded on Eponin's thoughts.

"Huh. When did you know I was here?" She stood, and walked over to where the older woman still sat peacefully on the rock.

"I don't usually discuss those things, but since you ask... this afternoon."

"But-- I-- it only just crossed my mind. I--"

The Priestess sighed. "If I wanted you gone, you would be. She's lucky to have you. Neither of you has any idea how much."

"She doesn't love me the way I love her."

"I know. But she loves you in her way. And how could she know how you love her? Did you ever think of letting on?"

"Mmm. Funny, that's more or less what Xena said. I try to ... we... I'm better at showing than the talk thing."

"I didn't specify that you had to use words. Although that's not a bad idea. For instance, how long have you been in love with her?"

" Since we were kids. All my life."

"And does she know that?"

"Not a clue."

"Umhum. You hid it a long time. You hurt for a long time. Covered it up with the tough attitude, or got drunk. What were you afraid of?"

"Same thing I'm still afraid of. She'll fall for someone else, and leave me."

"What's that on your hand, then?"

"Oh. Er. Gabrielle kind of... gave us a push."

"And now I'm giving you a push. Does that make it less real?"

"Mmm. No."

"Eponin, not too many people have just one great love in their life. Don't distrust it so much. You carried it in your heart a long time. Now is the time to let it out. Ephiny needs you. And unless I am very much mistaken, those two kids are going to need both of you very much before another Winter Solstice rolls around."

"They still alive?"

"I believe so, yes."

"Hunh. Words, Eh? Alright."

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Alone at last, Enomalie sighed. Her book was not getting written. "The Problem of Evil in a Left-handed Universe and the Effect on Dense-matter Bodies of the Need to Experience Time, a Study." My idea. That, no doubt, was the whole problem. Instead of just doing as she was told, moment by moment. Could she ask for another assignment? Keck. She could ask... for all the good that would do. She thanked the dream of the rock that had held her through the evening, and went back to her hut to rest.

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Ephiny glanced around the hut. No one was there. She wondered where Pony was... probably out checking the perimeter or something. Suddenly a wave of fatigue passed over her, and she had an irresistable need to sleep.

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Eponin stood, very still, under a tree, and stared out at the darkness. The moon had set. The guards were not asleep, at least. She was still mulling over the Priestess, and her annoying ability to feel her presence. 'Damn. Bad as Xena. Am I truly that obvious?' she wondered. 'Lets find out.' She took a pinecone, and lofted it a short distance from the post. One guard looked out, cautiously. Nothing happened. Apparently satisfied, she was about to go back, when Eponin launched another missle, a little further away. The game well and truly launched, Eponin succeeded in luring both guards away from their post. Suddenly she too felt very tired. She contented herself with leaving a pile of pinecones in the middle of the floor where at least one of the sentries ought to have remained; a sufficient message. She could hear them moving around the perimeter; she could also hear her alternates shadowing them. Satisfied that they had all had a lesson, and that not all her skills had slipped, she went back to the hut.

Ephiny was asleep, but woke when her lover slid into bed next to her.

"Mmmm. You're cold. Were you out tormenting the sentries?"

She knows me too well. "Unh. Something like that. Sorry to wake you."

"Don't be sorry... Want me to warm you up?"

"Um. Listen. Eph...."

"Yeah?" There was a pause. "Hey, Pony, what is it? Are you ok?"

"I... Look. I have a confession to make... You have every right to be mad at me. I'm sorry. I... just... I was worried about..."

"What? What did you do?"

"I'm ... I'm ashamed to say I followed you tonight, and listened to your whole conversation with that priestess.... Hit me now, and get it over with. You can't be any madder at me than I am at myself."

"You listened in? You heard us?"

"Yep. Every word."

"You--- Why?"

"I was afraid.. oh, Hades balls, I don't know. She wasn't at all what I thought she'd be like."

Ephiny rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, and tried to pull herself together. She'd been wondering how to broach the subject with Pony; she wasn't even sure she knew herself what had happened during her interview. "So what did you think? Is she the real thing?"

"Yeah, I think she might be... you're not mad at me? "

"Well... not as mad as if you just ... if you hadn't told me... In a way it's easier... I was gonna have to figure out a way to tell you about it anyhow. And there's a lot... well... now you know. sorta. I mean..."

"Listen, Eph. I want you to know that whatever you need me to do, whatever help I'm supposed to give you--- I want to be there for you, ok? That's--- you know what my biggest fear is? That you'll shut me out. I don't care how much it hurts, how trivial or stupid it sounds, I'll do whatever it takes, as long as I can be part of your life."

"Pony--- I don't want you to do anything you don't ... believe in, just for my sake."

"It's not like I usually care one way or the other, y'know. Ares fights on the side of the tightest arbalest, and all that. Most of the priesthood are hypocritical charlatans, or worse, in my opinion. But she was different. She said--"

"Wait a minuite. You talked to her? When?"

"Right after you left. That damn woman knew I was there all along. She.. She called me after you walked off... She asked a bunch of questions.. said I should tell you stuff."

"Like what kind of stuff?"

"She asked... how long I'd been in love with you."

"What did you tell her?"

"The truth. Since we were kids." Realizing Ephiny was staring at her, she went on, "It was that day at archery practice, the day after my fourteenth birthday. Remember that piece of leather you used to twist your hair up with? I've still got it."

"You mean... all that time... Why didn't you say something?"

"I... guess I didn't think I'd fit in.... I mean, things were so different then. You were so close to Terreis; and then when Gabrielle came... and Phantes... I... "

"I never thought I'd be glad I fell through the ice that time. Sheesh. No wonder you took such a header when I kissed you. Pony, I-- I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I won't ever shut you out again, I promise. I think I do want to ask for Enomalie's help... come with me tomorrow?"

"You know it."

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The sun poured in onto the bed. Paladia felt the warmth on her face, and stirred sleepily. She yawned, and suddenly realized that it was not wholly dark any more. She could, sort of, see the light as well as feel it. She grasped a shoulder of the woman sleeping on top of her, and shook her gently. "Hey! I can see dark and light!" was what her mind informed her she said.

"Urh! E kar unh git!"

Cait blinked. What woke her? Oh. Paladia was making sounds in her ear, and pulling her arm. She seemed excited about something. Cait rolled off her and bolted upright, but there was nothing in the bright peaceful morning to show anything amiss... "What? What happened?"

"E git oh mup. E ah E."

Paladia turned to her. Cait realized something was different. Her eyes-- they were not completely blank any more. She watched the irids expand, then contract, as her partner turned to gesture to the window. Clearly, something had changed, and the woman was trying to convey that, although her speech was still too blurry to be comprehensible.

"Hey, can you see? Is that what you're trying to tell me? You're beginning to get sight back?"

"Urhss! ...Nhtrrr e uhll."

"Um. Probably seeing as well as you speak... how bout this? Can you see this?" She waved a hand in front of her face. Nothing happened. "Ok, not much detail. But you definitely have a change. Hey! That's great! Maybe I should call the healer back over to check you out. Wait a minute. I could have sworn something happened last night... Something I should remember, what was it....? Uh. Besides that. Oh well. C'mon, let’s get up. I can't wait to tell the folks!" She stopped dead for a second. When had she started to think of Corin and Celia as their folks? Like they were related or something. It was true, they took a lot more interest in the two of them than most anyone else did, but that was only natural, since no one else was around.... Yeah, lets not get all weird about it. She hauled Paladia to her feet and gave her a kiss, then handed over her shirt.

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The village elders of Troas glared dissaprovingly at their leader, a young man named Pomander. He was newly come into position on the sudden death of his elderly uncle.

"The mill is crucial to the survival of our village. It has both economic and strategic importance. We MUST control it."

"But-- It has always been in private hands. Corin's grandfather built it, with help from both our village and from Sigeum on the other side of the brook. We can't afford to risk the loss by upsetting our balance of power."

"Balance of power! There is no balance of power! We have the power; we have the right. The old fool can barely keep the sluices clear. How long has it been since he was able to climb up to the top of the bevel-wheels to grease them? A couple of years? Ten? How long is the mill going to work if we DON'T take it? One more year? Or two, or three? And in the meanwhile, the people of Sigeum are plotting to gain control themselves."

"What?-- impossible-- that's an outrage-- we can't allow that-- is it true?--" a babble of voices rose.

"Can you show us some proof?" Phrynon demanded. As the head of the elder council, he ought by rights to have been the leader, but Pomander had swayed the council to accept his claim. He'd been persuasive, but now Phrynon was afraid that the much-vaunted "new blood" was going to turn out to be more about blood than newness.

"I can promise that positive proof will be in our hands very shortly. Then, Phrynon, even you will have to agree. In the meanwhile," Pomander eyed the rest of the council, "the people who truly care about the well-being of our village more than their personal comfort," he sneered at the council leader, "will do well to give thought to preparing for this effort. The meeting is adjourned."

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The mountains spread out before them. Ephiny took in a lung-full of air. "I'd forgotten how wonderful it is up here," she commented. "No wonder Cait liked to come up here."

She and Pony had decided to accompany the delegation from the Sisterhood on the search for the abandoned temple, along with Cleanthe, Thalesia, and a few others.

Enomalie let the others walk on ahead, while she brought up the rear with Ephiny and Eponin. "If you have questions," she said, "now would be a good time to ask them."

"You said there were different ways of proceeding. What do you mean?"

"There are different paths, depending on your intentions; whether you are alone, or partnered; the nature of the problem, if you want to work with a teacher, the pace you want to work, that sort of thing."

Eponin spoke up. "I'm ready to do whatever needs to be done."

"Just like that? You don't know what you are promising."

"I don't care."

"Enomalie, say more about the different paths."

"Well, there are different people who do different work, depending on... well, on the Goddesses favor, and what you wish to accomplish."

"Hmm. Could you work with me? "

"Perhaps. It depends on what we find ahead, how long I'll stay; you might want someone local for the long term."

"Could you work with me while you are here? Even if it is a short time?"

The Priestess was silent for a long moment. "Alright. I did promise you help. I think I can stay long enough."

"Thank you, Enomalie. What do I do?"

"To start with, I'm going to ask you to make a sacrifice."

"A sacrifice? You mean, like, kill a chicken or something?"

"No, I most emphaticly do not mean that. You give up something. Sometimes I assign a task, reccomend or proscribe an activity... I think in your case, Ephiny, I will let you pick what you will sacrifice. You know best what you need to change in your life. An addiction, that harms you, or something you enjoy very much; even an everyday thing, so long as it is something you can feel in your body, something that reminds you that there is another way of being."

"Oh... I think I see. What else?"

" Your partner does it also."

"My... Pony? What if she doesn't want to?"

"I want to."

"I haven't told you what it is yet."

"If your partner doesn't keep her part of the bargain, you die. So you have to trust that person with your life."

"I do.. I have for a long time. It's me, right? I'm the one who has to choose?"

"Yes, in this instance you choose for both of you. You can talk it over if you wish."

.............................................................................................................................

Eponin stopped dead and swung around to face her lover. "Let me get this straight. You want to give up alcohol, fine. I can do that for a bit. Won't hurt my reflexes either. Stimulants... ok, so I have to get to bed at a decent hour for a change. But sex? Is that supposed to be an addiction for you, or something harmful? Because you aren't that far off having given it up already. Or is this just to torture me for having evesdropped?"

"No, Pony, no. Look, it's something I really enjoy, alright? But sometimes we just do that instead of talking, and I need to talk... it gets kind of.. well, automatic. Like, that's what we do... but it doesn't always make me feel connected to you... I.. I need to not be numb. That's what the drugs did to me; I can't tell what I feel anymore. So maybe if we stop...for a while, well, then I can find me. So I won't always be fighting the memories. Sometimes... well, sometimes our bed gets pretty crowded, if you know what I mean. I want to keep this commitment I made to you... but I need the space to find out what's me, and what's centaur poop.... It's not forever."

"Ahhhh....Ok. How long do we gotta keep this up?"

"At least a month, Enomalie said... but if I ask for longer...?"

Pony looked into her eyes. "I said I'd do anything for you. I'm not gonna back down now."

Ephiny let the air out of her lungs and realized she was shaking. "Thank you."

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"What an amazing place!" Ephiny stared at the paintings on the walls of the temple that Cait and Paladia had literally stumbled upon, almost costing them their lives.

"It is, isn't it?"

"Not finished," Eponin commented, pointing to an outline on one wall. "What d'you suppose that's supposed to be... a heifer?"

"Looks a bit lumpy for that," Ephiny said, peering at the beast. "How long has it been here, do you know?"

"Legends say it was started in the days of the Titans, and abandoned when they fell." The Priestess answered.

"The paintings are amazing... they are like new, almost."

"Hmmm. Interesting observation, Ephiny. Although the subject matter is unquestionably ancient... I believe you are right. Some of this paint has been applied recently. Cleanthe!"

The Stoic came up to the leaders, Thalesia following in unconscious support. "Yes, Priestess?"

"Did Cait or Paladia say anything to you about these paintings?"

"Cait said she told Paladia to work on them sos not to lose her marbles. Whatever that means."

"Thank you. A modern expression. Too bad Lord Elgin won't have that much respect."

"What?"

"Sorry. Thinking aloud. Paladia seems to be quite an artist."

Ephiny cleared her throat. "Do you mean to tell me... isn't that some sort of sacrelege?"

Enomalie turned to her. "Not, I believe, as practiced by these two... look. They brought fire here... made offerings... I don't sense any lack of respect for the Goddess in what they did. True, the temple is unfinished, and some things are missing... the statue of the god, for instance... and there will no doubt be much argument among my Sisters. In some ways, Ephiny, we are a bureaucracy like any other. That is why I came myself." She gazed around her. "I very much want to bring some of my Sisters here... and perhaps some of your people will like to accompany them. May we have your permission, as leader of the Amazons?"

"M-my permission?"

"Yeees. This is in Amazon territory, is it not?"

"Ah-- yeah. But--"

"I'm not asking your permission only as a courtesy, Ephiny. It is important to the Sisterhood, yes. But I don't want it to become the focus of infighting between the different factions... and if I tried to claim jurisdiction, it would. Two of your warriors discovered it, and by the looks, activated it. You now have your own temple, in Amazon territory. The Sisterhood will not find it so easy to foment strife between your factions any more."

"WHAT?"

"Haven't you noticed that few take your offers of exchange? There are exceptions, of course.. some of the Sisters object to having a strong nation of warriors. I, however, do not. You and Gabrielle have changed the meaning of what it is to be a warrior. I won't let my small-minded theocrats, fixated on Velasca, and incapable of noticing what is actually happening, take away your progress."

"Oh." Ephiny could not come up with an adequate response.

"So. Have we your permission?"

"Oh. Er. Yes. Yes, of course you may. We'll be glad to help, too."

"Good. Now. The most imperative need is to find those two young women."

Eponin, who had stood silently through the discussion, stepped forward. "I think I should go look for them." She lowered her voice and adressed her lover. "If we're... if I'm not... maybe it will make things easier."

Enomalie regarded her with amusement. "Temptation comes in more than one form, Eponin. You won't get off easily, either of you. But keep your intentions firm, and you will succeed."

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The healer pronounced herself pleased with Paladia's progress. Much more so than Paladia was; she had reached the stage of convalescence when everything, but everything, irritated her. Most of her hearing had returned, and she could now speak intelligbly, if she wasn't rushed or too excited. The healer had announced she would come once a week to give her some therapy. The excercises were a little odd; they involved things like crawling on the floor like an infant, using opposite hand and knee movements, and reciting nonsense rhymes that reminded Celia of her childhood. But they perhaps had some effect as Paladia was obviously better.

She was bored with resting, however, and frustrated with her inabilty to be completely well, all at once. She was spending as much time as they would allow heaving things around in the mill, trying to tire herself out. The sun bothered her eyes, and the coolness of the mill was beginning to be welcome as spring came along in earnest. She had now shifted or rotated all the grinding stones, and re-distributed the sacks of raw grain so many times Corin was beginning to wonder how he could continue to keep her occupied. Cait and Celia didn't have to help her as much, now that she could see basic outlines, but they still kept an eye on her; the mill was a dangerous place.

Cait slumped down on a bench next to Celia, wiping the sweat from her face.

Celia glanced over at her with some sympathy. "It makes me hot just to look at the two of you sometimes. Where's Paladia?"

"Corin's trying to distract her with an engineering discussion. I don't get all the talk about cubochs and rate of flow. We had a friend at the Amazon Village who was really good at that sort of thing; it's too bad she can't be here now."

"Cait, I don't mean to pry, but are you sure you shouldn't send the Amazons a note of some sort? Now that the weather's better traders will be moving about, but Amazon territory is pretty far away. Even if you wrote now it could be months before it's delivered."

"Hmmm. I... Not to the Amazons... but our friend was on a tribal exchange... she's due to leave soon. Maybe we could send her a note... she might meet up with it on her way home. That's not a bad idea. It would be nice to have company for Paladia; she doesn't mean anything by it, but she snapped at me twice this morning."

"That is a sign of convalescence, you know."

"I know. I'm grateful she's well enough to be cranky. But it's going to be hard until she can see well enough to draw again."

"You'll just have to give her thoughts another direction... I think I'll go make some of those sweet cakes she likes."

"Thanks, Mom." Cait and Celia stared at each other for a moment.

Celia broke the tension by reaching over and ruffling Cait's hair. "Been a long time since anyone called me that. I think I like it."

"It just slipped out... I'm glad you don't mind. Neither of us had any family left before we went to the Amazons..." Cait hesitated. They had never asked, and she hadn't told, her own and Paladia's stories. She didn't think that the old couple would judge them harshly, but it was hard to know how much to share, and wasn't all her story...

"Mmm. You don't need to tell us anything you don't want to, Cait."

"I... well, it involves Paladia too; I guess I don't feel comfortable speaking for her... and I haven't wanted to get into stuff from the past that might upset her, since the healer said she may never remember exactly what happened that night. She remembers stuff that happened a couple of weeks before, but I don't know..."

"No, it's a good idea not to upset her... perhaps it's time to tell you my own story, and Corin's. After all, you don't know who you've been staying with all this time, do you?"

"Oh, yes, please do tell us--- I've been wanting to hear it, only I thought I should wait for Pal to get her ears back."

" And now she can hear...very well."

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The sun glinted off the water. Eponin, Thalesia and Cleanthe were floating lazily downstream, scanning the banks, and stopping to explore any spot where the drift-line showed signs of spilling debris over the banks. The young Amazons had volunteered to help look for their missing friends; it was not strictly on the way home, but they could take ship when they reached the sea, with little loss of time compared to over-land travel. It was a pleasant day, and when the sun reached the zenith, they stopped to rest under an overhanging willow. Cleanthe was keeping watch in the top of the tree when she saw another boat, no, two, slowly making their way against the current. She slithered silently down to wake her companions. Eponin went high up in the branches for a look, and then gave a loud birdcall. Solari and her companion looked up, and spotting her hand signal after a few moments scrutiny, headed the boats over to meet them.

"Any news?"

"No-- that is-- lots of news, but no sign of Cait or Paladia. But even more need to find them. Any luck?"

"No. No, we went all the way to the sea. Not only could we not find them; we couldn't find the boat; we couldn't even find any rumor of them. It's weird... it's like they weren't ever on the river... but we all saw Cait go in... and we saw the tracks. Where else could they have gone?"

"I don't know--- but all I know is I won't give up until I see the bodies. Even the Priestess thinks they're still alive."

"Priestess?''

"Oh. Yeah. I'd better start at the beginning."

...............................................................................................................................

"....So then Eph and the Priestess decided to look at their quarters... It was the first time most of us had seen any of Paladia's stuff. It's really good. The Priestess wants Paladia back so she can finish the temple paintings; she said that she'd send some artisans from the Sisterhood to help, if we could find Paladia to supervise them. Then she had a brainstorm and said we should start an Amazon craft guild of our own, to formalize the trading agreements we've been making, so they started to debate that idea.... Then the Elder council got into the act and started arguing that since Paladia hadn't legally joined the tribe the council should be allowed to confiscate her work and sell it to defray the cost of looking for her."

Solari gaped at Eponin. "That's the most outrageous thing I've ever heard!"

"It got shouted down as fast as they brought it up. Eventually they decided that work belongs to the artist until it's sold, if the artist wants to sell, and then the money will be handled by the guild to benefit both the artists and the tribe, as the need is determined. But that still left some of the elders mad that the Sisterhood wasn't doing more to look for Cait and Paladia... Eph sat up all night reading legal records and found a precedent that allows the Regent, or certain members of the royal family, to give membership in the tribe in absentia... Apparently it was used once to give an Amazon funeral to some women from a village who defended some Amazons who took refuge with them after a big defeat... So the upshot was, Eph conferred full membership in the Nation on Paladia. Unless she chooses to reject it, she's an Amazon now, and our job is to find her."

Solari spent a few moments digesting this. "Wow. But how the Hades are we going to find her-- them? Marisu and I've been down the whole river. Nobody's seen them, any sign of them."

"We go over the ground again until we do."

....................................................................................................................................

Eponin called for a halt. The sun was close to setting, but she had seen a change in the drift line she wanted to investigate.

"Look here, Soli... the edge curves away from the river here... but there is no high-water mark. It just goes along the edge of those trees. And see how wet this field is... "

"So?"

"So in a flood-- remember how high the river was that day?-- maybe this whole stretch was under water. You followed the river... but if it was over its banks when Cait came down this way, maybe she drifted inland. She wouldn't have known where the channel was. Maybe dark by then. She had a bit of a start on you... did you notice what this stretch was like?"

"Hmmm. Not particularly.. she didn't have that much of a start on us... but we did anchor when it got dark... if she'd kept on going ... it could have happened... Ok. tomorrow we go inland from here... see what we can find."

****************************************************************************************

The lamps were lit in the mill cottage, and moths flitted about them. Supper had been cleared. Corin sat with his feet up. Celia had stopped her mending and waited for Paladia and Cait to settle themselves comfortably.

"I was born among the Amazons of Boetia," Celia began. "My mother was a warrior. While she was away in battle, she often left me with my father, who farmed a small plot of land on the borders of our territory. When she was at home I lived with her, but she had ideas about my having a free choice. She said that to be an Amazon warrior was the highest calling she knew, but that it was better to be a warrior because it was a girl's true path than to just follow blindly in her mother's footsteps. My father loved her very much; he said that one week in her company was worth half a year of any other woman's. So I learned the ways of the earth from him, while my mother and her sisters taught me the crafts of war.

"The year I turned thirteen, I decided to become an Amazon, and began to train in earnest. That summer war broke out with the Spartans.... my mother and her whole company vanished. We didn't know if they were killed, or captured, or sold away as slaves. It was completely against the rules, of course..." She smiled at Cait, who gave her a grin back. "but I set out to search for my mother. There were about a dozen of us in the party; some had lost friends or lovers, or parents, like me. We hunted by night and hid during the day; eventually we had word that a group of captives matching the description had been sold to Arrhidaeus of Troas. So we determined to follow them.

"What we didn't realize was that Troas and Sigeum were at war with eachother; we got caught between the two armies. All but three of us were killed. In the same battle, Corin's father died. We met when he came to look for his father's body; we helped him find it, and he hid us in the mill. His mother caught us, but let us stay until there was a lull in the fighting.

"Eventually we caught up with Arrhidaeus. Of an entire company of Amazons, my mother was the only one still alive, and she was severly wounded. We were trying to make a plan to free her when she died as well. My two companions were killed by guards, but I hid my weapons, disguised myself in my mother's clothing, and waited until the next night. By then I didn't care much what happened. I just sauntered up to Arrhidaeus' tent with a skin of wine, got the guards drunk, slipped in and cut the tyrant's head off. He never made a sound. I crawled away between the tents, and I suppose they would have caught me soon enough, only it seems Corin had been following us on horseback. He brought me back here; I would have returned to Boetia, but traders brought word of a terrible plague. By the time I was able to return, the tribe was gone.

"I decided I had had enough of battle. Corin was a very patient man..." she twinkled at him.

"I still am," he commented. "I need it, too, with all these slimy village politics oozing round."

"And we raised our children here. But bad times came and there were raiders... we lost our children. Both villages suffered; but as soon as times improve, they forget their struggles and start arguing again."

"Which is what they are doing at this very moment," Corin added. "I don't suppose they will actually come to blows, though I don't think much of the young one that's parading about Troas shooting his mouth off. Still, Phrynon's a sensible man. I don't expect I'll have to defend my mill... not that I couldn't; especially with three sturdy Amazons to help."

.....................................................................................................................................

"Gosh, it seems a shame," Cait commented, as they strolled back to their shed.

"What does?"

"Well, all the unwanted kids. You and I are the lucky ones. It's too bad some of the others can't find their way here."

"Hm. You mean...?"

"Yeah. The ones you teamed up with... most of them weren't bad kids. They just wanted a safe place to grow up. Corin and Celia are so grateful for our help, but you're still handicapped and I'm no good with all that machinery stuff. We could use a couple more hands, I bet, when the harvest comes in. And then the villagers couldn't blame Corin for being old."

"Do they?" Paladia asked.

"Oh yeah. I was looking for bird nests under the mill when I heard them ragging on our folks something fierce. I don't think Corin's worried enough, really."

"What should we do?"

"I think perhaps I'll write to Gabrielle."

Paladia drew in a sharp breath. "Cait..."

"Come on, you know they like us."

"You."

"Look, they like you too. They wouldn't have accepted your joining gift if they didn't. And wasn't Gabrielle always fair to you?''

Paladia hung her head and wiped away tears. "Y-yeah. Bu-but.. I don't want her to know I blew it."

"Blew what?"

"My second chance. You know, 'everybody deserves one', all that crap."

"It is NOT crap."

"Yeah, right. I just wish I knew what it was I did this time."

"You still don't remember?"

"Nah. We had burned mutton-bird for supper. Then I woke up in the dark. S'all I know."

"Gosh, that was a memorably bad dinner... Wish I'd paid more attention to what they said; I was so frantic when I found your tracks going into the water... alright. How bout this? I'll write Cyrene about Corin and Celia. I won't mention us at all. I'll say I met them on a long hunt or something." She rolled her eyes right back. "It's sorta true. Then they can send out someone who needs a place... they probably won't ask further."

"What about you?"

"What about me what?"

"Won't they wonder why you left? Or.. or are you going to go back?"

"NO. Come on, how many times do I have to tell you I'm not leaving you? Look. Gossip is everywhere. If they hear about me, they'll hear about you too. There's nothing either of us can do about that. We have a place here, we have each other. That's all that matters. If we could help out our folks and your friends too, wouldn't that be a good thing?"

"Er. Yeah. I guess." She sighed. "Ok."

"C'mon, Pal. You're tired. So'm I. We'll leave it for the morning; if you still really hate the idea then I won't do it. 'Kay?"

Paladia started to cry again. She was overtired; when they got home Cait held her and rubbed her back until she fell asleep, but Cait remained awake into the night.

*************************************************************************************

The village healer made her way back along the river path. She was very pleased with Paladia's progress; the difficulty was to convince Paladia that feeling worse was sometimes part of getting better. How do you explain a healing aggravation to a kid? She couldn't see the changes; the healer could. She didn't need to check on her quite as often as she did, but it was a pleasant walk, and Corin had finally accepted some salve for his arthritis, the stubborn old fool. And the visits were a pleasure for her, too. Celia always sent her away with flowers and food from her garden; the visits rested her soul.

..................................................................................................................................

From their hiding place behind a cart, Pomander nudged his companion. The woman from Sigeum came often to the mill, and always left with a covered basket. There was no doubt that her visits had begun after the burghers of Sigeum had come to the mill en masse; then Pittacus, the champion of the enemy, had come with a delegation... they couldn't see much grain being ground, so the visit must have had another purpose. Then the woman began to go back and forth regularly... a pattern had emerged. As they watched, two blonde women strolled out of the mill. They had their arms around each other; they stopped for a moment. The shorter one gazed into the taller one's eyes. She put a hand up to the other's face; tenderly stroking her cheek. The taller one took her hand and kissed the palm.... Pomander could feel his blood rising. The shorter one slid her arms around the other's neck, and they kissed for a very long time. Breathing heavily, Pomander knew that his companion was equally aroused. The elders would have to take notice of this kind of behavior... he thought he had enough. The village was almost ready to move under his command; and he was going to take the mill for the town and purge it of this kind of filth at the same time. He struggled to think of an appropriate title for himself. 'Pomander the Great?' 'Pomander the Reformer?' 'Pomander the Glorious?' He would think of something.

**************************************************************************************

Early the next morning, the Amazons broke camp. They hid the boats and set out along the edge of the water meadows. One or two of them would skirt the edge of the drift line; the others spread out in the trees to scout the way ahead.

All too soon the trees gave way to low marshy ground; it seemed Eponin's theory had some merit. They reached a headland on another river by early afternoon, and Solari scanned the water in either direction.

"Lots of marshy spots. I can see smoke, not much, maybe a small village, south and east of here. Shall we go ask questions?"

Eponin thought for a moment. "Lets split up. You take Thalie and go scout it out; the rest of us will shadow you. Oh. And take this with you." She handed over Paladia's sketch of Cait, found in their quarters.

"Hey, that's great. Wow... it looks just like her"

.................................................................................................................................

"Hey, look, Mommy, Amazons!" A small girl tugged at her mother's skirt as they filled their buckets with water.

The peasant woman straightened up. "Where be, dear? Oh!" as Solari appeared right behind her.

"Sorry to startle you. We are here on a peaceful mission, searching for two of our comrades. Have you by any chance seen a young woman looking like this? Or an older, taller one, blonde also? They might be travelling together."

"Mah goodness. What'd theyuh, do?"

"They didn't do anything wrong. We lost the tall one... long story... this girl, Cait, went to look for her."

"Hum. Ye friends of hern?"

Thalesia spoke up, making no attempt to smooth her Phoenecian accent. "Yes, we are. Please, Clea and I have to go back to our people; we wanted to see them before we leave."

"Weeel... then I guess I don't mind admitting this Cait came hereaway about a moon, maybe two, back... said she were lookin' for a lost friend.... now ye come looking for her. Leetle mite careless, ain't ye?"

"So it would seem. So you have seen her?"

"Oh, aye. She were here... oh, few days. Took off rowing downstream. Haven't seen 'er since. Traders come up fra' thet way... mebbe they seen 'er."

.................................................................................................................................

"Should we go back for the boats, do you think?" Solari asked when they regathered to discuss the situation.

"This peasant seemed protective of Cait, you say?"

"Yeah, she definitely wasn't going to tell us more than she had to... didn't want to let on she'd ever seen Cait until Thalie convinced her we were friendly."

Eponin scratched her head. "I think we should keep a low profile, then. Cait obviously made a friend or two on the way, but not all villages are friendly... I'd rather have the cover of the trees. And if we keep to river we might miss the traders."

They proceeded accordingly. The next day they found the traders, just outside a larger village. Borrowing some clothes from a farm on the outskirts of town, Solari and Thalesia pretended to look over the goods while listening to and eliciting all the gossip they could. They heard about the weather, and how bad it had been; the price of sheep in Troas, which seemed to be the only town of any size nearby, and the local politics. No one mentioned Amazons, until one young trader's apprentice heard Thalesia's accent.

"Hey, you Phoenecian?"

"Originally, yes."

"Know any Amazons from those parts? I got a letter here for a Phoenecian Amazon, s'posed to be travelling south."

"...Thalesia?" Solari asked.

"Yeah, that's the name. Know her?"

"I do. Would you like me to pass the letter on...?" Dinars clinked.

"If you talk to her before she comes this way, you might want to tell her to avoid Troas-- take another route."

"Oh? Why?"

"There's talk of war between the two villages... some sort of dispute over a mill or something. My uncle thinks the situation's heating up pretty fast; he took us out of there before we'd half done business."

............................................................................................................................

"What's it say?" Solari asked Thalesia, when they were out of sight and the letter had been passed over. "Is it from your family?"

"It's from Cait.... Paladia's alive... want me to visit...interesting job... They're staying with an old couple... who run a mill... near Troas. Gee.. Do you suppose it's the same...?"

"Cait-- Trouble--- yep. Gotta be. You know what that means."

"Let's get there as fast as possible!"

"Nah- ah-ah. Not without Eponin. And a plan. Don't worry. We'll get there."

**********************************************************************************

The night was clear and mild. Next to the woodshed the brook gurgled peacefully. Cait kept half an ear tuned to the sounds of the countryside, even as she snuggled in Paladia's arms. Suddenly she woke fully; some change in the texture of the sound, or the silence, alerted her. She woke Paladia gently.

"What is it?"

"Shh. Heard something. What's that?"

Hardly louder than a breath, there was a muffled thump, a rustling. Something rang, faintly, followed by whispers. Keeping complete silence, Cait and Paladia slithered out the door of their shed, keeping below the level of the wall. When they were covered by the shadow of the bushes, Cait took a look. A company of men were preparing to surround the mill, spreading out under the cover of the trees. As fast as they could do so without being seen, they made their way to the cottage. Quickly they woke Corin and Celia, and began to prepare the defense of the mill.

................................................................................................................................

Pomander stood cautiously. The mill, the cottage, were dark. This was his hour; he motioned the men closer. Silently, they surrounded the cottage. When they were in place, the burliest of the soldiers went to open the door... it wouldn't budge. They went around to the windows, and found them boarded securely. Cursing under his breath, Pomander lead them to the mill itself. It too proved to be fortified. There was still a chance, though. He waved a couple of agile youths to start climbing up to the top of the mill; while everything was quiet and they still had the element of suprise he could slip a couple of men inside. The old fart of a miller probably hadn't been up to the top of his own mill in a decade. There was a window.. he couldn't see... Whatthehadeswasthat?

.....................................................................................................................................

Cait and Paladia grinned at each other. It hadn't taken any thought at all; Cait slid back the window covers, and stood aside while Paladia delivered two well-placed punches. The two intruders hit the ground before they knew what hit them from above. But the invaders now knew that the advantage of suprise was lost, they fell back and began to re-group. A muttering arose; what stealth couldn't accomplish, numbers would try. The short night darkened as clouds rolled over the stars. Within the mill, the defenders braced themselves.

......................................................................................................................................

The trees swayed under them. Eponin was not losing any time; as long as they had cover they were going to make speed. She didn't know the ground; if they could arrive unseen in the darkness, so much the better. They were ascending a long, gentle slope. Eponin led, scouting the way; Solari brought up the rear, keeping an eye on the kids. A brief shower of rain hit them towards morning. They slowed a little to keep from slipping on the wet branches, and climbed cautiously onward.

Solari wondered if they had lost their way; she heard a roaring sound, like surf pounding in the distance. Surely the ocean was still far away?

Just as the sun was rising they came to the crest of the ridge. The hollow of a stream spread out before them; on the bank below, an ancient mill, mossily peaceful among its stones. The whole valley was steaming and smoking in the early morning light, shining with the recent rain and light mist. Vapors rose, mingling with smoke from many torches. The courtyard before the mill was a sea of angry, yelling peasants. They were tossing stones and waving rakes, hay-forks, whatever implements would do as weapons; a few had bows. They surged up to the front of the mill and broke against it. The Amazons could hear a man's voice roaring back defiance at the crowd and from within came arrows, few but well-aimed; and several men lay in the dirt as the peasants drew back.

Eponin took the measure of the situation. They were too out-numbered for direct confrontation, but they did have the advantage of suprise. Briefly, she outlined her plans.

..................................................................................................................................

The messenger from Sigeum stumbled as he slid to a stop before the home of Pittacus. Out of breath and incoherent, he babbled out his message; Pittacus lept out of bed and called his men together.

....................................................................................................................................

Cait had run down to Corin and Celia when the peasants rushed the mill, and she had shot her share of arrows into the crowd with them.

"What are they doing now?" she asked.

"They didn't find us such easy pickings as they thought," Corin answered, glancing aside where they had taken off a cover to give themselves room to shoot back. "They will most likely try to burn their way in through the shutters. Best get some buckets ready to wet things down."

Cait turned to do as he asked when she heard, off in the distance, faint but unmistakable, an Amazon war-cry. She turned to the window and answered it. Before she could draw back an arrow came straight for her... only to be stopped in mid-air by a hand, blurring with the speed of light, knocking it harmlessly to the floor. Paladia stared at it as if she had never seen an arrow before.

"Hey! How did you do that?" Cait blurted out.

"I don't have the faintest idea."

"Gosh, am I glad you did!" A hail of stones interrupted them, and they ducked to either side of the window. "Later. We'll talk later, Pal. Right now they need us to fill some water buckets."

Before that could happen there was another rush, and several men actually made it into the mill. Celia gave her years the lie direct and threw one of the thugs right back out head over heels, knocking over the ones outside. Corin took two by the scruff and banged their heads together. Cait ducked a blow and had her knife into one before he was aware of her, while Paladia engaged two more. She fell heavily on one who was trying to strangle her from behind, while exchanging blows with the other. She had just given him a good sound punch when Celia took him off her hands; she continued a roll and Cait slipped over her, pulled up the ruffian's head by the hair, and slit his throat.

"Thanks for getting that guy off my back," she said.

"No problem."

They heaved up the shutters and barred them. The whole attack had lasted perhaps two minutes.

Paladia and Celia quickly tied up the thugs who were still breathing. There was a noise at the back. Cait laughed. Nothing equalled battle; her every nerve was alive. Transported beyond thought, "I've got them there," she yelled, and took off, backed by the slower-moving Corin.

.....................................................................................................................................

It was like trying to get a herd of cattle to stampede. Before the mass of peasants would move, they had to get spooked. Eponin led her warriors in and out of the trees as quickly as they could move, giving the impression, with noise and an artful rig of feathered poles and fishing line, of a much larger force. She, or one of the others, would stop now and again to shoot off an arrow or two, but they had to keep moving.

Pomander was confounded. Not only had the mill resisted beyond his wildest dreams, but a pack of Amazon warriors had come to its defense. It was all the fault of those two disgusting, immoral, attractive, abhominable women. Temporarily forgetting about the mill in his rage, Pomander called up the warriors and charged the Amazon line. Finding himself tangled in string, he cursed and chopped at the stuff with his sword.

"It's a trick!" he bellowed. "It's a filthy trick! There are no Amazons!" His men ran up and began to hack at the line, chopping down the poles. Eponin drew her warriors up and back deeper into the trees, skirmishing the troops when they could separate them. They needed to capture some more arrows. She dropped down on an unsuspecting man, knocking him to the ground and grabbing his gear before retreating upwards again.

"Oh, yes there are too Amazons," she muttered. "Just not as many as you thought."

Thalesia and Cleanthe followed her lead, but the latter was not quite quick enough. Before she could climb out of range, an arrow pinned her hand to the bole of the tree.

"Clea!" Thalesia cried, and she and Marisu turned back to her defense.

Swinging by her knees from a branch, Thalesia reached down and began to hack at the shaft of the arrow with her knife. Marisu dropped to the ground and drew her sword as Pomander attacked. The woods rang with the sound, and sparks flew in every direction.

...............................................................................................................................

"I hear fighting," Pittacus yelled to his men as they ran through the woods. "This way!"

He entered a clearing just in time to see an Amazon forced to her knees under a hail of blows from a knot of swordsmen, while that young snot Pomander watched, laughing at the scene. Pittacus hurled the net he'd hidden in his shield around the swordfighters, while his men drew their bows and shot the enemy leader. Eponin and Solari shot at the same moment, and Pomander fell dead, his body as full of arrows as an apple filled with cloves. Pomander, the pincushion.

Solari dropped down next to them. She and Pittacus subdued the enemy swordsmen in short order. At a hail from above, they held up his net, catching the partly conscious Clea as Thalesia pulled her free of the arrow and dropped her down to them.

Their leader dead, the Troan soldiers ran, leaving Eponin and Pittacus confronting each other. He dropped his sword and raised his arms in the correct gesture of submission, bringing a slow smile to Eponin's face.

"Looks like you're on the right side, fisherman, " she commented. "But we aren't done yet. Soli, look after Marisu, she 's bleeding badly. Clea, you're hurt. Stay here. Thalie, you're with me... You're an islander, aren't you? What's your name, net-boy?''

"Pittacus of Lesbos, at your service, er, Mam."

"Don't you 'Mam' me, you little sand-pounder. Come on."

The peasants were wavering in the courtyard. Their leader and the best-armed warriors had vanished into the trees; arrows came at them from the mill. They drew back in confusion. A well-disciplined leader could have rallied them at that point, but before they could gather their courage another army advanced on them from the trees, led by two yelling Amazon warriors. They turned to the mill, only to see two more Amazons come out to engage them. Paladia simply ignored their brandishing weapons, and pounded into them indescriminately, while Cait darted around her like a blonde eel, everywhere, nowhere, at once.

Paladia suddenly stood still, as a tall grey-bearded mercenary in battered, ill-fitting armor stared at her from the edge of the crowd. For a moment, it looked as if he were about to say something; she half raised her hand toward him. Then one of his cohorts made a crude remark and he turned away again, and stumbled off with the rest of them. The mob melted, men falling over eachother in their haste to get away. When the dust settled, six bodies lay limp on the cobbles, while a dozen more stirred feebly among them.

Corin surveyed the scene from his doorway. "That you, Phrynon"?" he called out to an older man, kneeling beside one of the wounded.

"Aye."

"And Pittacus?"

"Aye. All well there?"

"Oh, Aye. Send your men home, both of you. There'll be no more fighting today. Cait, looks like you have some friends here."

"What are you doing here?" Cait was startled into near rudeness by Eponin's appearance in the courtyard.

"Looking for you of course. Hafta work on those birdcalls, Cait," Eponin said, stalking up to the mill. "Sounded more like a goose than... Oof!" She nearly fell over when Cait hugged her, as Paladia staggered under an armful of Thalesia.

"Thought you were going to get away without finishing my diagrams, did you?'' Thalesia joked. "Not bloody likely."

Corin began to look after the wounded, while Celia made preparations for their care.

Shortly afterwards Solari and Clea arrived, with some of Pittacus' men bringing Marisu on a litter. When the immediate needs of the wounded had been tended, the conversation resumed.

"Gosh, how did you find us?" Cait asked.

"You led us quite a chase," Solari answered. "Next time how about leaving a few blazes, ey?"

"You were looking for us?" Paladia asked.

"Do you have any idea," Eponin began. Solari stopped her with a hand, seeing Paladia trembling.

"Easy, Pony. Let's start by telling the banished one she's been reinstated. She put an arm around Paladia's shoulders. "It was all a mistake, kid. Don't be so quick to lose it next time, Ok?"

"I--it was?"

"Yeah."

"Then I-- I didn't do anything wrong?"

"Nope."

"Beyond trying to talk to Eph when she's tired and close to cycling, nope, you didn't." Eponin confirmed. "I've made that mistake myself and regretted it, believe me."

"Oh, super! No wonder you couldn't remember, Pal."

"Not only did you not do anything wrong, Paladia, it seems like you did quite a few things right. When Eph realized what was going on she decided to confer full citizenship on you. So unless you turn it down"...Solari raised an eyebrow at her, but Paladia just shook her head, wonderingly. "You are now an Amazon with full tribal privileges. We would have had some ceremonial feathers for you..." She grinned, "But they got put to use being an 'army' to distract the bad guys."

"So that's what that was. We were holding our own, but it was nice of you to take the heat off us," Cait commented.

"Take the heat---" Eponin began.

"Too right," Cait laughed. "Hey, come on, you've got to meet our folks. Well, sort of honorary folks. They saved Paladia's life, and put us up... "

It took some time to get everything organized. Phrynon went back to the village for wagons for the dead and wounded; Pittacus and a couple of his remaining men set to work on the damages. Celia provided a meal for all and sundry, while Corin supervised the work on the mill. Evening came before the work was done, and Pittacus' men made a bonfire in the yard.

Eponin had explained about the temple, and the Sisterhood's desire to have Paladia continue her work there. It was a little overwhelming to Paladia; she was still shy about showing her work to friends, let alone directing a whole crew. She could hardly believe they wanted her back. But Eponin was insistant that she and Cait return immediately, because the Sisterhood of Artemis had to resolve issues about the temple... But what about Corin and the mill, if they left? She had been looking forward to tinkering with it, especially with Thalie to help.

Solari agreed with Cait's idea of writing to Gabrielle or Cyrene; but Pittacus proposed that a young lad from each village be chosen to apprentice with Corin. Not only would the work of the mill continue, but the two would have to learn to cooperate, thus being an influence for peace between the villages. In the meanwhile, Thalesia would stay and make some studies of the way the mill worked; she was already talking about changing the angle at which the water hit the wheels. Clea was going to stay with her, at least until her hand healed... and Marisu was too badly injured to be moved for some time to come. It was her good luck to have been injured in a place that had a good healer.

As the evening wore on, Paladia wandered away from the bonfire, outside the edge of the firelight, and stared up at the stars. 'You'd think you'd feel great after a big victory like that,' she mused to herself. 'I've got everything I ever wanted... Well, almost. The one thing I wanted most... well... maybe I don't anymore, but... I guess some things are just too much to hope for. But I have a lot... I got my sight back... respect... a girlfriend who loves me...work... friends... even citizenship. That's about as much security as anyone ever gets. Why isn't it enough? Why do I still feel empty inside? What's wrong with me?'

From the other side of the fire music sounded; Pittacus was playing the balalaika. It was an old tune; a simple tune that children sang. She hadn't heard it since... since... Oh Gods... She fell to her knees in horror. Images flashed before her mind. The roaring noise; a red wall, flapping back and forth. The most intense pain she'd ever felt, only she couldn't feel it, because she was floating somewhere near the ceiling, watching her body be tossed from side to side the way a terrier kills a rat. She'd been all of what? Four? Five? Not more than that.

She stumbled and crawled over to the edge of the creek, and splashed water over her face. She was crying and retching at the same time, and hearing an insidious voice in her mind telling her that nothing had happened; she hadn't seen or heard anything, anything at all. "You won't tell, it informed her. You'll be responsible for all of them. You don't want things to be bad for them, do you?" And then the biggest lie of all: "Children forget," It said. "Just be quiet and go to sleep."

Paladia could hear the party going on with her adult ears. Solari was laughing. Cait and Celia were singing with Pittacus; they had moved on to another tune. But in front of her eyes another scene played over and over, like a transparency that had always covered her vision, so present that she didn't notice it; so vivid that she never really saw anything else. It had covered her like a caul; it had strangled her for almost as long as she could remember, and now it was torn into her consciousness against all expectation, a complete suprise, rising up seemingly out of nowhere, just when things were going so well. More laughter drifted from beyond the fire. Although it was late, the festivities were still going strong. She felt some strange reluctance to intrude; she didn't want to spoil the party, but she couldn't join in to save her life.

Quietly she wept and wept as if she would never stop. Darkness closed over her; the singing was softer now. Somewhere out of the night footsteps approached; it was Eponin. Paladia was beyond speech, so Eponin had no idea what the cause of her tears might be; but she had been through many a battle and knew that sometimes reactions like that happened, even to the toughest warriors, after a violent day. She sat down next to Paladia and put a strong hand on her shoulder. Paladia grasped it and held on, through her tears. No matter what had happened, this time she was not alone.

Continued...

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